#managing myself
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Random thoughts
Brain purge, will address these later in detail:
Time management. 40-50 hours/wk of work. 10-12 hr/wk school. Housework. Exercise. Chores. Downtime.
How to become a study girl. And a working girl. And a healthy diet girl.
Increase calorie burn without increasing hunger.
How to study and not eat more because of whatever makes me want to eat all the things at night. Like last night. I should have been focused. Instead I was continually looking for snacks even though I had obviously eaten more than enough.
Limit night eating.
Limit availability of UPF.
Keep calories within limits. Easier with turkey and chicken items, but I have alot of pork and beef.
Focus time needed for work and school items. (If I need brainpower for work items, I struggle with school focus that day.)
Sample time schedules? Create a habitt schedule??
#stuff i think#studying#school#brain purge#random thoughts#thought organization#my thoughts#random#focus#healthy habits#time#time management#weight loss management#schedules#managing myself#mental#mental health#how to get better#need to be better#brain dump#adhd brain
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the curse of adhd:
i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text
i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text
#every time#managed to actually send it today!#but also i have been reminded to post this by the fact that i just had a task to do in two different rooms just now#so i turned the light on in the room i was getting to second because my brain would go 'oh why is the light on that's weird'#and check the room and it would remind me to do the second task#in the less than five seconds between turning the light on and exiting the room#my brain went 'oh the light's on better turn that off before i leave'#and i had to manually catch myself#PLS.#adhd
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"I am going to get a good grade in ___________, a thing that is both normal to want and possible to achieve" drifts through my brain with positively alarming regularity.
#this is because I managed to have an interesting conversation with my uncles at dinner#and also I had Work Stuff to do in front of my mother and felt so so proud of myself#sometimes being human is very ridiculous.#celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge
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Antinous sketches
I will redesign him a bit for Wisdom saga because his old design looked too much like Kaeya from genshin impact. Still keeping the eyepatch though, that's my favorite part of his design.
For his design I was mostly aiming for this intimidating, vain, kind of brute hunter aesthetic. I'm not really used to drawing manly men so he'll be quite the challenge to animate.
#I HATE DRAWING MUSCLES SO MUCH#my comfort zone in art is literally the complete opposite of manly big strong guys#but if I made him a twink just for my own sake I would never forgive myself#whatever if I managed to animate that design of Scylla I can do anything#epic the musical#digital art#art#epic: the musical#greek myths#epic the musical fanart
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i got it!
(og panels below!!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIFFRIN!!! <- i say, scheduling this to post at midnight september 2nd. it’s his birthday somewhere!! and also loops birthday but look i had a deadline here. don’t ask why This of all things is their birthday art. i make normal choices!!!
also. somehow this entire thing only took 4 and a half hours??? insanity. i literally started this Today. thats how it Gets Me i suppose. anyways!!!! here’s the og panels!! no colored version this time, i didn’t think it’d fit the scene. also i didn’t want to render 3 colored panels.
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#shoutout to the 2 people on discord who immediately wished to be the tutorial sadness when i posted this#honestly . i get it.#we were out all day today and i STILL managed to get this done somehow#i dont think i can call myself a slow artist anymore#part of me wanted to make a happy birthday edit of this in the same vein as the merry christmas edit but#it is. 10pm. and i am sleepy#no cake for him
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irl i don't normally tell people my pronouns unless they directly ask, but this has led to a very silly occurrence i call DLC pronouns. my gender is a sidequest you can unlock in the dialogue tree if your character has a high enough lgbtqia+ stat . or if my pride keyring falls out of my pocket.
#i generally think it is good to be out and proud as long as you are not in danger and i try not to give in to the urge to make myself more#digestable to people i dislike anyways#but sometimes you find a good job with good coworkers and bad management and getting to move up in the company means comprimise#capitalism sucks for everyone though because there is no corporate culture without average people comprimising themselves
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#selfie bee#good evening friends!! how are you doing! C:#I'm very very sleepy I got a new ikea office chair and I build it all myself#I think it went okay! I don't think I pulled the back screw tight enough and now the back is a bit loose#I can probably fix it but I can also ignore it for the next 18 years#thats how long the old chair held up!! in germany it could now drink vodka and drive a car!!#not at the same time that is illegal! not at the same time!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*#but the day is not over yet my uncle asked me for a big art quest and I do not want to disappoint#he wants a muppet tattoo and asked me to draw it#my uncle has started to get tattoos a few months ago#as far as I know he has now gotten 3 note clefs 3 stars a flower and multiple birds#he also started getting piercings but so far I managed not to know exactly where#I think tattoos are super cool (´。・v・。`) I wish I had a good idea for a tattoo but the last time I was very sure about getting a tattoo#it was heath ledgers face as the joker#at that point I was 12 and would not see the actual movie for two more years#a muppet tattoo is a way better idea!! he asked for the count van count! that is also one of my top 3 muppets ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#I always thought I knew a lot about muppet lore but since I started looking up muppet pictures I think there are still a lot of secrets#can the muppets from the Sesame Street actually leave the Sesame Street?#I think Kermit is both on the Muppet Show and on Sesame Street but he is also like the boss muppet#he might have special abilities#I hope you're having a good day friends!! C:#I think I'll post a Sherlock comic later this week#miss you!! ♥♥♥
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Their actual first meeting in the Kyoshi Warriors AU!
Katara had her Oh moment before exchanging a word with Jian Li, and while she gets over it in time (or, at least, convinces herself that she's not embarrassed by her initial reaction to him) this quasi-interaction haunts her for the first couple of days of their stay in Kyoshi Island.
It's just not fair that the place is full of gorgeous people! Or that he's not only beautiful, but also kind and awkward and respectful and dorky and—oh, La—she's in trouble.
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#atla fanart#zutara au#prince zuko#atla art#kyoshi warrior ursa au#kyoshi warrior zuko#kyoshi warriors au#kyoshi warriors#kyoshi island#zuko x katara#katara x zuko#katara art#katara fanart#katara of the southern water tribe#zutara fanart#zutara art#Me: damn I hate doing backgrounds *proceeds to draw the most detailed and complicated backgrounds ever*#Why do I do this to myself. Whyyyyyy#Anyway I think Katara having her “oh no he's hot” moment before actually meeting the guy is the funniest thing ever#If only because that's the general reaction Zuko gets from about 90% of the people they meet in this AU#Katara doesn't have an instant crush actually. And neither does he. She just knows he's gorgeous and isn't afraid to tell him so once she...#...notices that he's got self-esteem issues but manages to hide them with fake confidence#Then it's all Katara showering Jian Li with genuine praise and our boy spluttering and blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush for hours#But it's okay. He turns the tables on her.#Zuko as Jian Li
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I DID IT I GOT MY PINK HAYATE now I am never doing that again!
(at least until they give me, like, a frilly unicorn Kamui or something)
#art#ride kamens#last note#i did this SO fast i'm sorry#i was just so excited i actually managed it!#look as a super casual f2p player who has never made a chaostone higher than a+#350k points is a frikkin ACHIEVEMENT#but how could i say no when i got lucky enough to pull the fancy ribbons-and-lace birdboy#and then they tell me i can turn him pink on top of that?#(i'm definitely not still bitter about missing out on a certain other card in another game NOPE)#plus. i mean. i also just kinda wanted to see if i could.#but now i have pretty pink perfume hayate on my home screen and i am Fulfilled#i haven't even read the story yet because i've been so focused on grinding out tickets i have NO context for why he is so fancy#now i have literally thousands of event seals i have to figure out what to do with in the next few hours. hm.#i also have to keep telling myself to save my diamonds and not do just oooone more pull to see if i can get a shion to turn blue...#it's not going to happen and it's not worth it#but whaaaat iiiif...
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"Mother, wouldst thou truly Sponsorship sanction, in one so bereft of points?"
It was 1AM and I was juiced on caffeine. Have at ye the not-so-little boy from Rosario, Argenti—I mean Shadow Keep.
#lionel messmer#i like to make myself laugh because it's the only thing keeping me from having another breakdown episode#fifa elden cup? idk#messmer#messmer the impaler#noodles#elden ring dlc#shadow of the erdtree#you think messmer would just go “que miras bobo?!” instead of “mongrel intruder”#fanart#first post#the snakes are his managers#officially#elden ring#forgive me for the messy art i was rushing and giggling like a madman#that's my insta handle in the watermark! good luck finding anything new though
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THE FIRST OMEN dir. Arkasha Stevenson, 2024
#the first omen#the omen franchise#horroredit#junkfooddaily#horror#motionpicturesource#filmedit#dailyflicks#filmgifs#moviegifs#*mywork#shesnake#higabi#awekslook#useranusia#dearestmillie#useroro#foraddy#'and i saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon and out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth#of the false prophet'...............#'and he opened his mouth in blasphemy against god to blaspheme his name and his tabernacle and them that dwell in heaven'!!!!!!!!!#CRAZY STUFF JUST WILD!!!!!!!!!#btw u can count urselves lucky that i managed to control myself enough to NOT put one of these bible verses in the caption bro i am a#life long atheist i should not be sitting around here knowing revelations by heart why do i have these things in my brain
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“…𝑫𝙤 𝙮𝒐𝙪 𝙢𝒊𝙣𝒅?”
#my art thingz#my doodlez#appleradio#radioapple#alastor x lucifer#lucifer x alastor#duckiedeer#still suffering from art block but managed to doodle this at least ✨#this looks intense wow im a lil proud of myself xD
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prodigal son.
a sort of epilogue for God of War Ragnarok, since I miss these two so much.
support me on patreon
#these two occupy so much of my brain space and will continue to do so forever more#the way cory barlog managed to transform kratos from your standard killing machine into a layered loving father#whose character is centered around bettering yourself for the sake of your children#absolutely magical#and ragnarok#good god that game made me cry so many times#i miss kratos and atreus so much#and apparently ragnarok was the last of the norse games?#so this is how i deal#i give myself closure by manifesting it into existence#they have great stew btw#kratos atreus and mimir#two dads and their teenage son#god of war#ragnarok#gow ragnarok#kratos#atreus#mimir#comic art#i have so many feelings ugh#thank you for reading#stillindigo art
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Couple's banners for all my current breeding pairs!
#flight rising#fr art#frfanart#my dragons#jem draws#coatl#fr imperial#fr ridgeback#pearlcatcher#accidentally made Decay and Rot too small OTL#managed to forcibly pull myself out of art block
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ive only had these two on my mind recently .
#hetalia world stars#hws romano#hws italy#hws itabros#too much caffeine + an anxiety disorder = im gonna kill everyone in this room if someone touches me#i hc that they both have anxiety disorders but while vene manages his roma is raw dogging life and it ends up getting him into Situations#(Situations of his own making ofc)#yes i keep putting romano into situations i have put myself into. and ill fucking do it again#my art
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Me: how do I study as a neurodivergent person?
Google: how to help your autistic child study
Me: how to study as an autistic adult/teen
Google: teachers guide to how to deal with autistic children
Me: how do I study as an autistic teen/adult
Google: study tips for autistic people(-written by this allistic man that will talk about autistic people like they're zoo animals)
Me: how to study as a neurodivergent adult, tips from neurodivergent person to neurodivergent students, on how to study independently as an autistic person, no reliant support needed
Google: high functioning autism and school
Me: fuck just. How do I focus during this test that I'm in rn as an AuDHD person
Google: ok, so, to focus on this thing that you currently are doing and need to get done TODAY; weeks before the test you'll need to eat healthy and exercise, meditate, study, set timers, take breaks, drink water, sleep, find the secrets to a happy life, adopt five children, sacrifice a goat, take short showers, brush your teeth
Executive dysfunction:
My fucking deadline:
#adhd#actually autistic#im so fucking sick#of the tips for people taking care of people with autism when im sesrching SPECIFICALLY on how to manage my own autism#im so sick of getting infantalized#im so sick of getting alienated from the fact that im human#im so fucking sick of autistic adults getting forgotten#im tired of searching for how to help myself and getting tips for people who dont struggle with what i do#im sick of getting callef high functioning#im sick of getting told when i look for study tips to rely on other people to help me#rant post
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