#Romance done me bad but friendship only ever done me sad (as in sad that we faded away)

[hajihiko]

I have to agree, being friends is a lot better than romance, at least in my opinion. My friends are probably the best people I've ever met. I feel like if most people haven't been at least a little in love with their friends they don't know how great it can be. The amount of times people have asked me or my friends if we were dating is a lot, but it's a bit funny, honestly

dude totally I am def somewhat platonically n love with most of my closest friends and they're my favourite people. I dont know how some kinda week-long romance could trump it

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[fischyplier]

Misfits and Magic Season 2 Episode 2 "Magma and Mingle": My Thoughts and Analysis

So here are my thoughts on Evan and Sam. Am I the only one that doesn’t see their relationship progressing into romance? I can understand that in this season Brennan and Danielle are having more scenes together. At this point, Evan and Sam's relationship feels platonic to me, but who knows what could happen in the next few episodes. I prefer platonic relationships because they feel more interesting than just romance. Also want to take the time to say, I love and appreciate all the hard work that went into this and every season of D20. Thank you to the crew, the players and Aabria cause misfits and magic has become very near and dear to my heart!

Click below to read more, warning long post:

Anyways, Evan has gone through a LOT of traumatic experiences since childhood and continues to till this day. Evan's body is riddled with scars, broken bones that healed wonky, etc. He got stabbed on a bus at night trying to retrieve a talisman for Boodle 10 months ago. And I would not be surprised if he's been through more but hasn't had the opportunity to tell his friends or elected to say nothing. I can't help but to read too deeply into the quote "dream small". Is it cause I feel that Evan has learned to dream small in order to not get his hopes and expectations too high? Just a theory... A game theory! I'm sorry.

After 3 years of no contact the pilot project are back! But they haven't really had the time to sit down and catch up. In the video below, Sam says "I feel like there's a lot of things that when we talk you don't tell me." Which kinda leads me to believe, Evan doesn't want to worry his friends so he bottles up his feelings and doesn't open up. And when he does it's always with a smile and jokes to mask the hurt. He isn't just sad, he feels like a burden and tries to not take up space. I can really relate to this.

Even Brennan says Evan is in deep pain. The breakup he went through didn't help but there is more under the surface we as the audience still don't truly know. The experiences of being a lonely unhoused teen is the reason why Brennan chose "belonging" as Evan's ideal track. Because that is the one thing he's been deprived off, humans are social creatures and need to interact with others. What happens to a developing brain when that is taken away? When all you know is your shadow, loneliness and hunger? So when his friend says we can talk, he takes that as a serious invitation. Evan now surrounded by friends wants to do everything in his power to protect those he loves. He doesn't expect it to be reciprocal. You can see that when he says "if I've ever done a bad job about being here for you, I'm always here for you" after Sam says we can talk. When Brennan tears up with that incredible delivery of "I missed you"... I keep rewatching that part! Evan is always on the go, needs to be prepared, needs to be ready when shit hits the fan. Sam has created a safe place where he doesn't need to be hypervigilant and can relax, maybe open up and be a little vulnerable.

Sam is rightfully concerned that something deeper and terrible is going on with Evan.

When Evan continues kicking a half dead Salamander that isn't a threat to any of his friends, a darkness in him wants to kick it mercilessly for pure enjoyment. That even his eyes turns black. The first thing Sam does when she sees this is to attempt to drench it in water like Jammer did. Cause she said that this has become "unnecessarily dark" and that "this is freaking her out". That she'll even resort to spitting on the creature if it means that Evan will stop kicking that crap out of it. The water cools and stops the creature. Sam is a great friend that sees Evan do something twisted and wants to help so desperately. You do not have to be falling in love with someone to do the right thing! I still think they should just be friends.

I love that in this season we can really see their friendship blossom and not just be surface level chit chat. As they get closer hopefully they can help each other in ways they really need. In the preview for the next episode Evan says, "I don't see you the way you are afraid people see you." Sometimes it takes someone outside of your point of view to see aspects of yourself you are too close to see. And I think that's beautiful.

That leads into my next point, no I don't think the progressing of their relationship means that romance is in the air. I can't remember where I read it but another person said it best, intimacy doesn't mean romance. You can get close to someone, be a shoulder to cry on and depend on without developing feelings. You can love and respect your friend and keep it at that level but develop on that intimacy of a great friendship. I feel like it made the most sense for these two to get closer in this season because they have more in common now. Before it was just the fact that they were students learning magic at Gowpenny and being NAMPS (non magical person or let's be serious MUGGLES!). But now Evan and Sam have both underwent break ups and that's something they can really connect on. I really hope they don't get together right after cause that sounds like a rebound and to me, story wise pretty boring. And in my honest opinion, jumping into another relationship right after being with K is a little too soon. Evan needs a friend not a lover, at least for the time being. He needs to keep his inner darkness and insecurities in check. That or a therapist.

Hopefully this doesn't age like milk, and if they do get together I guess I'm wrong! :3

Thank you if you read till the very end, here is a gif of Brennan giving you a thumbs up!

Why? Cause you are pretty cool!

Please consider liking or reblogging this post if you liked what you read. And I'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode and if I should continue!

[kalena-henden]

Lee Je Hoon's Chief Detective 1958 starts today. Can't wait to watch! I enjoyed him in Taxi Driver and really want to watch through his filmography eventually.

Lovely Runner is knocking my socks off! Byeon Wook Seok and Kim Hye Yoon are killing both the comedy and the drama. Wook Seok is the cutest loser in love! The mystery and unexpected twists are fun and interesting. I hope this quality storytelling continues. I'm on the edge of my seat.

I only have 3 episodes left of Love Me Love My Voice which has been wonderful and heartwarming. I love the main romance but the friendships and secondary romances have been given ample time to shine as well. I'm always here a good found family. I really like how the dramatic readings and song perfomances have been carefully woven into the story to further the character development. Definitely recommend.

Now we come to our debrief on The Smile Has Left Your Eyes. Whoa, what a rollercoaster. The first half was interesting with many characters' selfish and dark intentions mixed with a little mystery were set up in contrast to our optimistic, self-sacrificing female lead. However, the second half drowned in major events happening and then being dismissed as if they never happened, multiple secret keepers refusing to tell the secret multiple times an episodes even when asked point blank when the answers could stop so many bad things from happening, and the existential dread I felt about what the big reveal was going to be only for it to completely dismissed. (FYI I found out what I thought was going to be the big reveal IS the actual reveal in the darker Japanese version it's based on.) After episode 14, I wasn't sure I could continue watching the show. But after a night of uneasy sleep, I decided to finish it the next morning on double speed to get through it. I did watch the last 10 minutes at regular speed. While there were some well done things about their relationship in the second half, it couldn't save the show for me even though I went in knowing this was not an HEA. Overall, I was just left feeling angry and exhausted. As a Seo In Guk fan, this was a show I had long wanted to see, just to find out what my opinion on it would be. I'm sad that the SIG fanmeet has been post-poned, hopefully I will be able to make the next date. But this means I feel okay to stop my SIG show binging so I will not be watching Hello Monster anytime soon. I'm actually impressed with how much of SIG's filmography I've already seen (7 shows as a ML, 4 shows as a cameo, and 1 movie). I'm pretty sure it's more than I've seen any other kdrama actor or actress.

After a bad experience at the new dentist yesterday, where the hygienist manhandled my teeth and they tried to upsell me on services, I was in need of a comfort rewatch. I've been thinking alot about Lee Jun Young lately and decided to break out the first thing I ever saw him in, Imitation. I was only going to watch a few favorite parts from an episode or two and ended up binging my favorite parts of most of the series. lol I really hope his upcoming Cinderella romcom with Pyo Ye Jin is going to be good.

I slowly picked Vigilante back up again this week and was excited to see Lee Joon Hyuk's character finally emerge to add a boost of energy and chaos to the story.

Now that I've got some time and the second half of the series has finally dropped, I will continue watching Chae Jong Hyeop's Eye Love You.

[imagines--galore]

||One Step Closer|| Part One

Summary: It all starts with a step. One step closer and you gain a new friend. One more step and you're their rock. Their savior. One more step and their heart is just within reach. Just one step.

Pairing: Jack Frost x Elsa

Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. Hurt/Comfort. Allusions to death in the end.

A/N: So Jelsa has always been a favorite crossover pairing of mine and I couldn’t resist uploading this old piece. Also the song used is A Thousand Years - Part One by Christina Perri.

Heart beats fast

She stood there scared yet hopeful as he sat on the sill of her open window holding out his hand where a snowflake was floating. His vibrant blue eyes were kind and shining with laughter and joy. Her heart we beating loud and clear in her chest and she feared he could hear her. But seeing him smile she suddenly felt comforted. Hearing him speak made her smile the brightest she had in her life. "I'm just like you."

His name was Jack Frost, and he was the Spirit of Winter. But that did not matter to her. Nor did it matter that no one else could see him. She knew she could, and she knew why. For so long she had wanted to believe that there was someone else out there. Someone who would have the same powers as her. Someone who would teach her to control them. So when she read the myth on Jack Frost, the Spirit of Winter, one who had control over snow and ice just as she had, Elsa had dared to hope and believe. She had carried that belief with her since childhood, even when she turned seventeen, and was a year away from becoming an adult. She saw him peering through her window, as she amused herself with a few dancing snowflakes, and had cried out in shock. He had been surprised at her crying out, though later he had whooped with joy. Because her fright meant she could see him, which no one had ever done before.

It was the beginning of a lifelong friendship.

                                            ————————–

Colors and promises

Blue was happiness for her.

Amber was anger.

Purple when she was sad.

Red when she was frightened.

But what about White?

Pure white ice was certainly new. And as she gazed at the little figurine of Jack she frowned in thought. They had always been blue in the past. Why White now?

Maybe because she had made that little figurine while making a promise?

A promise that she would fulfill till the end of time.

Promise that she would never forget about him.

Ever.

                                            ————————–

How to be brave?

"I can't do it Jack!" Her voice was broken, a sob catching in her throat as she fell to her knees in front of her friend, her arms wrapped around herself in an attempt to feel less alone. Less frightened. But with her parents gone, the room completely frozen because of her powers, her sister having just left her, after sitting for hours against the door, Elsa had never felt so alone.

"Yes you can! Elsa look at me!" Warm hands cupped her cheeks tilting her head to look in her eyes. His hands looked cold but to her they were warm. "You're stronger and braver then you will ever know." He whispered, his voice strong." You will rule Arendelle. The fairest Queen the world has ever known. Brave and strong for her people even when she had just lost her own parents."

                                            ————————–

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?

All her life she had lived afraid. Afraid for the people around her. Afraid for her parents. Her sister. Afraid of herself. Her powers. The one thing that set her apart from all those around her. But she only saw that as a bad thing. It made her feel like an outsider. They made her feel unsafe. They could be destructible. They could be horrifying. Which was why she was so afraid when she found the true extent of her feelings for Jack.

                                            ————————–

But watching you stand alone,

Sometimes she envied Jack. He had complete control over his abilities. He never made a single mistake. He never let his emotions rule him, which was what she had always done. But right then watching him stand on the balcony of her deceased father's study, she could not help but wish that he may have someone he would love. Like she loved him.

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

                                            ————————–

He took away all insecurities. He took away every bad feeling. He was her friend. He vowed to help her no matter what she went through. She had accepted it graciously, as a future Queen should, but as soon as he had thrown a snowball at her she had quickly burst into laughter tackling him to the ground like she used to do when she was still a teenager.

                                            ————————–

Time stands still

With him it felt like she could do anything. He brought the laughter she had never thought herself to be capable of. With him time simply stood still. With him everything made sense. Her powers. Her smiles. Her heart. And her love for him.

And when he gave her the necklace as a gift for her coronation Elsa could not help the smile as she clasped the snowflake shaped necklace around her neck. And as it rested beneath the fabric of her coronation gown, cool against her otherwise trembling body it gave her all the strength she needed to believe in herself, even for a little while, as she felt the crown being placed upon her head.

                                            ————————–

Beauty in all she is

Elsa tilted her head watching Jack curiously as his cheeks colored. His normally pale face was red, or rather his cheeks were, and for reasons unknown to her, he would not meet her eye. He had been acting weird. Perhaps it was the fact she had left and was now living in a palace she made herself? Or maybe her dress, it was rather strange, but she liked it. Or perhaps the necklace he gave her which still hung around her neck. And when he complimented her, her own cheeks flushed her heart beating fast and loud in her chest, as she smiled shyly.

                                            ————————–

I will be brave

"Promise me!" Jack exclaimed his voice pleading as he knelt in front of her. Elsa sobbed loudly as she shook her head.

"I can't Jack." She whimpered her arms hugging her chest as her legs trembled underneath her. Suddenly she felt his arms wrap themselves around her pulling her close, hugging her tightly. Elsa stiffened at the contact, having not touched another human in so long.

But as she felt him drop a soft kiss on top of her head her erratic breathing began to steady, her sobs quietening as she gripped the front of his shirt tightly afraid he would disappear or worse, that he would recoil from her. Or that she would hurt him like she did her sister. But Jack did nothing of the sort. Instead he simply pulled her closer.

"Promise me you will be brave Elsa." She nodded. "I will be brave Jack." Neither of them noticed how the palace around them seemed to glow white.

                                            ————————–

I will not let anything take away

"No!" The scream was filled with anguish. One that ripped through the very souls of those who heard it. No one knew why she shouted, they were too busy in trying to bring her down. Her. The monster. Jack had tried to protect her. But he had not seen the sword coming. He had not seen it as it descended on top of his head knocking him out. It was an accident on the guard's part. For he could not see Jack. No one could. But seeing him lie on the floor like that, unmoving and unresponsive she felt anger rising from within her. An anger that frightened her yet gave her strength to attack the guards in retaliation. She was not letting them take away the only best thing that could ever have happened to her.

                                            ————————–

What's standing in front of me

"Jack!" The cry tore past her lips the second she stepped back into the palace. Her heart was lighter. She felt free. The kingdom was once again as it was before. She had made amends with her sister. Hans was behind bars and could not hurt anyone ever again. But she had been thinking about him. Had been thinking of breaking out of prison to see him and rescue him. Make sure he was alright. She had only just climbed the stairs of the palace when she had seen him exit through the window above her. He had stopped in mid-air staring down at her as if she were some form of illusion. But suddenly she felt his arms around her, the ground falling away from her feet as Jack hugged her, the wind lifting them away. Was it Jack's command or perhaps a little trick on the wind's part. Elsa did not know neither did she care. Laughing, tears of relief shining in her eyes she hugged him back, her heart bursting with happiness.

                                            ————————–

Every breath

How could it have gone so? As the fire surrounded her from all sides, Elsa clasped the small child in her arms, trying to keep her safe. She was hurt. Her head was spinning and she had inhaled too much smoke. Her powers would not come to her strong enough to stop the fire. The Queen was already too injured and exhausted for that. She knew she would not be able to last long, but maybe the child could. She glanced at the child. Calling up on the last of her strength she created a cradle of ice. Placing the child in the cradle she kissed her forehead, as the child looked up at her wide blue eyes. Eyes a lot like her own.

"Be safe little niece. Keep watch over your mother and father for me." She cooed, letting the baby grip her much bigger finger. Waving her hand she inscribed one last message to her sister. A message in ice, kissed the baby's head once more, whispered a blessing, before sending the baby sliding down the message chute, it being only big enough to fit the cradle which was the size of the child. The fire around her was getting intense, it was licking at the hem of her dress, now destroyed from smoke. Suddenly the roof above her creaked. Blue eyes shot heavenward just in time to see the ceiling collapse. Wood and debris rained down her weak body. Elsa collapsed, crying out as a rather heavy beam landed on her leg.

                                            ————————–

Every hour has come to this

Instincts kicked in, and she tried her best to push it off but what little strength she had was leaving her and the smoke was making her vision hazy not to mention the smoke inside her. It was hopeless she knew it now. As she lost the last of her strength Elsa lay on the ground, smoke filling her lungs, searing heat all around her, her eyes turned heavenward, her thoughts turning to her sister, her brother in law, Olaf and finally Jack. A smile crept on her face as she thought of the boy with silver hair and eyes so blue they rivaled her own. A trembling hand slowly lifted to pull at the necklace resting against her neck, her fingers curled around it as tightly as they could given her limited strength. It unclasped from around her neck. It was cool despite the searing heat around her. Slowly her eyes started to close, her vision nearly obscured from the smoke. "I love you Jack Frost." She whispered to the wind, hoping it would carry her message to the Spirit of Winter.

Her eyes were on the full moon as it shone through the gaping hole. It was the last thing she saw. The last source of comfort. And then everything went black.

As her body stilled her hand fell at her side the necklace slipping from between her slender fingers.

                                            ————————–

One step closer

I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you For a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more

                                            ————————–

Darkness. That's the first thing she remembered. It was dark, and it was cold. And she was scared. Slowly blue eyes blinked open. They were bright yet they held fear in them. Fear of the unknown. But, then she saw the moon. It was so big and it was so bright. Her chest heaved as she took a deep shuddering breath, feeling it relax her tense muscles. She lifted her head, pressing a hand against it as she sat up, her movements slow and languid, her blue eyes never leaving the beautiful bright body that shone from the heavens. It seemed to chase the darkness away. And when it did, she wasn't scared anymore.

A small almost shy smile made its way to her face as she pushed herself to her feet. Her gaze turned to take in her surroundings. Everything was black and burned. Had there been a fire? If so why was she still alive? Why she was there and what she was meant to do, she didn't know. But then she saw something. Lying on the ground was what looked like a snowflake. She stepped forward, reaching down to inspect further. No. Not a snowflake. A necklace. With the chain broken. Her hand flew to her throat, finding it bare. Picking up the piece of jewel she stood up, not noting how she stood, poised and graceful. Her finger touched the snowflake and a name rang in her mind. One that made her heart speed up and her eyes widen in surprise.

Jack Frost.

Was that why she was here? Her gaze turned to the moon once more. She voiced her thoughts but received no answer. Instead the moon shone brighter, the light falling on a particular spot. She was hesitant for a second before walking towards the lit pathway. As she walked, she felt as if someone was whispering in her ears. The voice was calm and loving. Protective even. It kept saying a name. Elsa. Over and over. Was that her name? A smile pulled at her lips and then suddenly there was a shower of snowflakes all around her. She gasped, and the snowflakes stopped moving. Was she the one who caused these snowflakes? Her gaze turned to the moon before dropping to the necklace. Her lips pursed in a determined manner, she gripped the broken chain of the necklace, brow furrowed in concentration. A surprised gasp escaped her lips as there was a slight glow emanating from her hands, and the chain resealed.

Her name was Elsa, the Snow Queen. How did she know that? The moon told her so. But that was all he ever told her. And that was a long, long time ago.

One step closer

[psychic-winged-turtle]

I wish that I could stop listening to logic. I wish that I, for one moment, could put down the part of me that thinks.

"I want to kiss you" she had said.

"It's not a good idea" I had said.

But I wanted to. I wanted to so badly in a way that I never had before. I try to be logical.

We're friends, and I don't want to take a risk that could compromise that.

My family wouldn't approve. My God wouldn't approve.

I never liked the idea of kissing anyway. It's gross. It's not clean. It'll probably taste bad.

I remember these things. I repeat them like a mantra. And yet I sit here craving her. Wishing that logic had not gotten in the way. Wishing that I could throw caution to the wind for just one moment, that I could act on my emotions.

My logic is not enough to stop them.

I'm afraid for our friendship, but it is so, so, strong. I have never had a reason to doubt it. I'm afraid of things changing, but would they? I love her as my friend and as so much more. My logic just doesn't seem sound anymore.

I know that my parents wouldn't approve. I know that my brother wouldn't approve. I know that my extended family has differing opinions on the whole issue. But I also know that they love me. They love me more than anything. More than any sin I could commit. And so does my God. But can I truly move forward and knowingly commit a sin? This is where I wish I could throw caution to the wind the most. I wish I had no clue what sin was. I wish, sometimes, that I had not grown so introspective. I wish I could move forward without guilt. I do not know for sure if homosexuality is a sin. There are many sources that say many different things and I don't know who to believe. What I am most afraid of is pulling her, the one I love, down the wrong path. It would be easier if I was only risking my own soul.

Cuddling, kissing, sex, and all that stuff associated with romance and sexuality is not something that I have ever really been interested in. I'm not a physical-touch person and I try to remind myself of that, and yet I crave her so badly. A fear I have developed is that I will die and we will have never even tried. I tell myself that that's a good thing. That it's better this way. That maybe even that is what God would want. But it makes me so sad. The idea that I could never touch her the way I want to. Never kiss her. It feels like grief. I feel like I'm grieving a relationship that I was never in.

I don't like living with regrets. I don't want to regret never trying. But I also don't want to regret doing something because it turned out badly.

I'm afraid that if we ever did move forward, I would never be able to move back. No matter what my family, God, or anyone else would have to say about it. I'm afraid of how much I love her.

I never say any of this out loud because I know she's more emotional than me and I don't want to make her feel more confused about us than she may already be, but I realized that I am doing her a disservice. I always ask her to talk to me so we can talk things through, but I have not done the same. I have done my best to bury my feelings in the hope that I could guide us both. I didn't want to make things harder on her. I suppose I didn't want to be a burden. What a hypocrite I am. I always say that she cannot burden me. That I want to hear everything. I'll never judge her for anything she says or thinks. And yet, I prevented her from having that same opportunity to support me.

I type this here because I don't think I could say it aloud. I know she'll see it.

I love you, S, and I'm sorry this is all so complicated.

[schrodingers-hoarding-problem]

Jae's Asian Drama Masterlist

a list of all the asian shows I've ever watched (competed, we don't talk about the ones I've been meaning to finish for the past two years), not including any animation

all of them have some form of romance because at my heart I am a slut for a good romance, colored ones are those that changed my brain chemistry

Korean:

Romance is a Bonus Book (my first ever Kdrama and the first one I saw on this list, will always hold a special place in my heart)

Hotel Del Luna (iu my beloved, it did make me very sad at some points, but the dynamic between the main characters so so so good, jealous jang manwol is the best thing)

Light On Me

The Tasty Florida

To My Star

You Make Me Dance

Mr. Heart

Color Rush

Doom at Your Service (I say this is my favorite Kdrama, but honestly it has some really heavy competition. I am not above saying im a little bit attracted to whenever doom fucks someone up ok)

Wish You: Your Melody From My Heart

Kiss Goblin

Where Your Eyes Linger

Run On (its just so sweet y'all, one of the most refreshing shows I've ever seen in my life, the characters feel so real and the relationships are amazing)

Semantic Error (this is where the heavy competition is, both the movie and series versions are insanely good, I just can't recommend it enough)

Tinted With You

A-Teen (currently rewatching it with my best friend, is the essential hs Kdrama, explores so many of the problems that teens face without minimizing them, really embraces that lonely/scary feeling of being in such a turbulent time in your life)

Roommates of Poongduck 304

Business Proposal (the romcom of all time, if you are someone who enjoys a good trope or a well done cliche this is the place for you, it will make you laugh so hard and feel so much)

Our Dating Sim (aljslkasjfkd so so cute, very much Semantic Error vibes and I love that, loved the dynamic and characters so much)

The Eighth Sense (yes give me the good mental health representation, women friends, and cute relationships)

Dream (movie, watched it just for IU tbh)

Thai:

Love in the Air

Kinnporsche (this gave me indescribable brainworms but I could never explain it)

The Eclipse (the series really benefited from how comfortable first&khaotung are with each other, honestly they are friendship goals, but the show itself really tackles some great issues in the schooling system and how they relate to oppression overall)

Until We Meet Again

Between Us (yeah Tumblr really won with this one, I saw one too many winteam posts and had no choice, I do love a relationship driven show and the way the show pulled in discussions about trauma and family struggles was wonderful, I have never seen more of a middle child than win)

Bad Buddy (what can I say, once again the actors have insane chemistry and their comfort with each other really shows on screen, also nanon really is just a powerhouse actor, its sort of a modern Romeo and Juliet but has the most open & honest communication in any media I've ever seen)

Cutie Pie

Cutie Pie 2 You

My School President (may have changed me as a person? I don't even know how to describe how important this show has become to me)

Bed Friend (loved the characters, idk if it gave me worms yet tho)

Only Friends (at my heart i am a sucker for anything First & Khao are in)

Japanese:

Takara-kun & Amagi-kun

My Love Mix-up! (Keita Hatsukoi)

My Beautiful Man (Utsukushii Kare)

My Beautiful Man 2

Taiwanese:

Be Loved in House: I Do

HIStory 3: Trapped

Because of You 2020

Chinese:

The Untamed (I don't even know how to explain the brainworms this show and the novel it's based on has given me, but we do love a fun period piece)

[inkofamethyst]

April 16, 2023

I can be described as a bit of a control freak.  In the way that I like to have control over every bit of my life as humanly possible.  I feel most stressed when I feel that I lack considerable amounts of control.  I wonder what my personal intersection of control and insecurity is?  Those two must derive from some specific fears, some specific formative moments.

Jennifer Morrison’s character in House is so different from Emma Swan in Once Upon A Time.  Emma Swan had that toughness, that red leather jacket.  Dr Carmody comes off as so much more bright-eyed (and she wears vests lol).  Actors man.  The thing is though, I straight-up dislike boss-subordinate romance thing in most cases, this one being no exception.  Idk, it’s just weird to me.

Also as entertaining as it is to watch a doctor with no bedside manner who ends up being correct about everything and saving the day in the end, I would hate to have him as a doctor or mentor tbh.  I am way too sensitive to go through that kind of nonsense.  But it is interesting--something I learned in a writing workshop is that people will follow a character (I’d even stretch to say this applies to celebrities who almost seem like characters with the way “we” fictionalize them) who is good at what they do even if they are unlikeable.  Don’t remember the reason though.

I got my grade back for stats and did significantly better than the first midterm which is wild because the content was a lot more difficult and I studied significantly less :/  I’m (obviously) not upset about the grade, I am learning things (and enjoying it a lot!  I’m actually looking forward to graduate level stats), I just think it’s funny.  Continues to validate my bad habits, though.

I once again feel compelled to complain about my status as an emotional booty call with my saxophone-... friend.  Literally the relationships/friendships that I dislike the most have to be the ones where the other person only calls/texts me when they’re sad or upset.  It’s not even that I don’t want to be there when my friends feel down.  It’s not even that I expect “50-50″ in a friendship at all times.  I fully recognize that friends will need more support through difficult times and that a person’s life has high and low points for varying lengths of time.  But friends are there for each other.  If someone doesn’t reciprocate an interest in my life, I check out.  I lose interest when they only reach out to me to complain about their own lives and almost never when they just want to hang out, no story attached.  And I feel bad for passively accepting the role of an emotional booty call wen I have minimized my investment in the person, but I also don’t put any effort to continue the relationship, so that person fully has an out if they ever decide that me not ever texting them first isn’t something they can put up with in a friend.  But until then, I open my ears, reassure them that their feelings are valid, smiling the whole way through, then come here to huff and haw.  

Anyway.  I’ve gotta get back to “writing” (more like formatting (and finishing!!)) what is essentially an undergraduate thesis but due to the circumstances of my research it cannot be officially deemed to be such a thing.  Good thing is, it’s a relatively simple project.  Another good thing, after the two presentations I’ve got coming up for it in a week and a half, I should be completely done with it.  Thankful for that.  Lowkey wish I didn’t have to travel again this week.  I feel extremely thankful for the opportunity, but I’m also incredibly exhausted.  Much more than I thought I’d be toward the end of my “easy” last semester.

Today I’m thankful... that there’s only a month left.  Less than a month, really.

Goal of being in bed by 2 am.

[aclosetfan]

That was the funniest fucking thing and really just nailed almost every fanfic of them ever. And the thing is, half that isn’t even that bad. Because they can do all that but why is it always either gross or just never explained? Blossom especially because she can be stressed but who the fuck died and gave her that job when, realistically, she’d have had to fight to be able to have some control over their missions or whatever seeing as she’s both a girl and a child? And then the blues is just something else entirely😭 I will say though, it always confuses me when fanfic authors allow for Boomer to somehow be a genius but then never give Butch that chance? Is it just a quick and easy way to slide in their favorite abusive/dominate the ‘different girl’ trope? It’s also misogynistic in so many ways cause why’s Boomer smart and then Bubbles isn’t if the only reason Brick was made smart was so he’d be a counter to Blossom? Is this just to shove dumb blonde needs saving? Also, enough give me my himbos!! I’m so glad so many of these tropes have slowly started to fade away and here’s to hoping even more follow, especially the reds are gods oh my fucking god if I have to read one more story (that’s usually pretty well written with an intriguing plot!!!) about how sad and lonely and hated Blossom is and how she’s the most powerful ever but also nobody understand except her sworn enemy who she cannot love because of whatever rules she made up, then I’m gonna lose it. I love these losers so much and it sucks seeing some of them in abusive relationships and then seeing the girls especially have to give up so much of themselves and their development just to be with some boys. If anything, the boys would cling to the girls like they’re life support. If they’re gonna turn good, who better to learn from than the goodest™️? Which just opens up a brilliant story of friendships and team building that has lots of plotlines, with one of the main ones being the boys steady journey to turning a new leaf, like with Another Buttercrush and the boys having to ease back in via power restrictions and community service.

I was just nodding my head, reading along, and then you added the stuff about Another Buttercrush and had an "oh shit, I know that story lol" moment. Thank you! I know too much about the law that, realistically, the boys wouldn't be able to escape some kind of punishment for their past actions. Townsville would be stupid for denying the help of three extra super-powered people, but they have to make their citizens believe they have authority over the boys, so boom, power restrictions. That's boiled down politics, bby.

and it takes some of the pressure off the girls. Yeah, the girls would like the boys to be good, but they can't be judge, jury, and executioner. A lot of fanfics leave out how influential Townsville is in the girls' origin story. I believe it would be just as influential in the boys' redemption arc, and it gives the writers a chance to explore the boys outside of the girls and invent new conflicts, like person v society, instead of just person v person.

And if you're able to remove the sets of triplets from each other in this way, this also improves the girls' characters as well. Setting up a person v society conflict would allow fanfic writers to not only show how Townsville affects the boys but also allow you to explore why Blossom would feel stressed out about being a leader or why Bubbles feels the need to be infantilized not just in the context of their personal relationships with the boys, but as individuals.

However, I don't think most ppl come to this fandom for those deep dives into Townsville, and that's fine. Some people strictly want romance, which, like you were saying, anon, can be done in so many different ways that aren't determinantal to the girls or the boys. But until more ppl want that, we aren't going to get much more variety in stories. It's seriously not fun writing for three notes ngl, so I understand why ppl cut/paste the same boring, overdone, and problematic characterizations since those tropes get traction.

Nearly every time I try to write something serious, I have to sit there and remind myself that fanfic isn't literature in the traditional sense. People don't care about themes and plot lines when they're reading it. They care about their fave characters getting what they feel their fave character deserves. And it's a lil' depressing, but at the very least, I know a few people who agree with us!

In sum:

[bisexualafbuck]

my issue with this whole "if one of them was female" argument is that it practically says that we cannot watch any meaningful deep relationships between men and women at all because they *must* lead to romance and sex in a narrative (else it is automatically judged as "bad writing" or what... "heterobaiting"?) 🤡 i have to deal with that as a bisexual irl already and it's just... sad. that we cannot acknowledge that some people love each other deeply and platonically, and that this is not inferior to a romantic relationship. we see not a single hint that eddie or buck are bisexual, even at points where they could have explicitly shown it (e. g., zero jealousy toward love interests, no hesitation to date somebody else cuz they do not "waiting for the other", eddie actively looking for a date and not a single time was he looking at any man like he's seriously into that option), so it's a fandom issue only at this point imo. especially because we have canon queer relationships in 911, and we have a very well-loved big canon gay ship in 911 LS, so why would they be afraid to canonize buddie? i swear more people should watch Elementary for sherlock and joan. a beautiful, deep, special relationship. they would die and kill for each other, they openly say they love each other, they live together, sherlock will inevitably be there an important figure for joan's son... and they are both very hetero, and it's still 100% platonic. i have not seen a friendship like buddie on screen yet either! we see a lot of bromance but it's usually just a regular friendship, often with two hetero men that do not really open up to each other *because they are hetero* so they must have a romantic partner for the emotional parts. because of toxic male standards for how close men are allowed to be to each other emotionally. and now we finally have smth that is so beautiful, and i see nobody simply appreciating it for what it is right now... maybe they will someday give these two a sexual crisis, maybe someday buddie will be canon! or maybe not. maybe they will always be best friends who really allow themselves to have each other's backs. but this perpetual disappointment and unhappiness of the fandom is so sad to me. buddie is and has been and will remain an amazing dynamic!

So I'm an ace/aro bisexual, so like your point of friendships not needing to turn romantic, I totally get, but I do actually think that a lot of the thing shown in the show are really easy to see as romantic, and I don't think it is actually that much of a jump to see that it's not just friendship. And I'm saying this as someone who hates couples being forced, or people perpetuating the idea that you have to be in a relationship to be happy.

Also I think the argument that you haven't seen friendships shown like this (i.e. are only ever either very cold, or turned romantic) is a very common argument against gay couples used all the time, so it kinda rubs me the wrong way, when there are so many examples of amazing male friendships done so well, and male friendships being emotional is becoming more common too. You can advocate for more male friendships like that without putting down ships of two men together, or people being upset about the missing opportunies for them to be canon, in my opinion. Also I don't only think people ship them because they connect emotionally, I think they just genuinely have romantic chemistry that makes it easy to ship.

It is totally okay if you don't see Buddie as romantic, and I think so many people do really appreciate their friendship as it is, so I'm not sure if maybe you interpet it all in a people shipping buddie romantically lense/only see that on your feed etc, but I defininitely see so much support for just the friendship.

I think the problem is that they force the straight relationships so much when they don't make sense for the character development. It makes it harder to accept the lack of Buddie when they aren't providing an alternative with any depth to it, so all people really can see is the potential of Buddie. Like putting them with the love interests from the end of season 6, when they actively go against the previous character development, no wonder people are upset at that. And it's easy to be upset at that and link it to being upset about Buddie.

Also, I genuinely do believe with the fan support and where the storyline has gone that they would have been made a couple if they were hetero. I think the reason why them being both male has prevented it, is because that wasn't the intention from the start, and while it is a progressive show, I think it's harder to turn two "hot straight men" into a gay/bisexual etc etc couple in the middle of the show, rather than what lonestar did with having them together from the start.

I do agree however, that there is a portion of the fandom that can't be happy with anything in their friendship until its canon, which is very sad, because even if they don't go canon, it's an amazing relationship that should be loved as is too.

At the end of the day, if you love them platonic then I'm really happy for you, but I think its not unjustified to point out the difference in how their relationship is treated compared to hetero ones.

I wrote this really quickly while doing an assignment so if any of my points dont make sense, blame my university brain lol

[tvrningout-a]

SO THIS IS LOVE PT. 1 | mutuals discover desired romantic dynamics!

below the cut will be the first part of a series where i talk about potential ship dynamics for my muses! this is intended to make shipping easier on my mutuals as well as give me a reason to ramble about my dorks :' ) if you have any questions or find a dynamic you're interested in, pls feel free to message me, or click the above link to like my shipping call!

HISAKAWA CHIYOKO

bc chiyo is so!! adamant about keeping her distance and so good at doing so without others noticing, she can be hard to befriend, much less date. but getting past those big ol' walls is extremely rewarding if your type of gf is one that shows her love in the form of memes and puns and bad drawings of you :' ) in most cases, i would say friendship is the main route one would take to win chiyo's heart; as someone afraid to be vulnerable, she needs to feel safe with someone to even contemplate pursuing a romantic relationship. friends-to-lovers is the main trope you'll wanna go for with her.

that being said, i do love the idea of someone seeing right through her likable facade bc no one ever does that, and it puts her on edge -- possibly to the point of making her become defensive. chiyo is incredibly private with certain parts of herself, so ofc she'll resent anyone's attempts at understanding her without her permission. she wants to be in control of who is close to her bc that lessens her chances of getting hurt. so i would love to see someone get under chiyo's skin, maybe bc they're only curious at first before it develops into something more. either way, get ready for a long haul with this gal!

SATO KAIYA

my sweet angel kaiya, my cinnamon apple, my gosh i could ship her with anyone and get the warm and fuzzies :' )) she's someone who has a lot of love to give, and she gives it freely; i think i can say she develops crushes rather easily and tends to admire those with strong values/convictions, but really!! it just comes down to the situation. i think kaiya is someone well-suited for cultivating self-love in others despite being horrible at showing herself that same care.

i can see kaiya working really well in a " grumpy gills falling for the ray of sunshine dynamic " bc she is so very soft and bright, but she'd also work well in any sort of pining situation. as a demon, she feels it isn't exactly fair for her to pursue romance bc 1. she'll outlive any human she might fall for, and 2. she doesn't feel she deserves that sort of happiness after what she's done.

YUBARI

oh, yubari :' ) the fun ( or sad asdf ) thing with yubari is that every so often, he gets himself killed while protecting his domain and people, so he is reborn time and again. he never has a recollection of his previous lives, so that makes him a great candidate for reincarnated lovers who keep finding each other, or any form of immortal lovers coming together. you could also easily throw him into a protector/bodyguard type ship bc if your muse asks for his help, he'll have a very hard time saying no.

otherwise, something to keep in mind about yubari is that he feels very deeply and is a people pleaser no matter how he tries to hide it. he likes to be useful, and he likes to take care of others -- it makes him feel good. if that's what your muse needs, let's go B) if your muse needs that but is stubborn and won't accept it at first, let's go B))))) and if your muse can return the favor and make yubari understand that someone should take care of him, too, i will actually weep

[moxiemaemaple]

A gift that would make my heart flutter...

I'm proud of what I produce. I'm happy with my art. The photos and ad promotional shots I've taken are something I actually love. It is an amazing feeling to love yourself, however at the same time I feel sad no one sees me for what I am.

I talk to people all the time. Yet it feels flat. When I look over my own photography I get lost in stories. I wonder if anyone will ever see what I see in the shots I take. Just feel like people see my exterior, and don't know anything about me. The real me. The me under this skin, cute attire and fake bubbly attitude.

I was gifted a teddy bear today. Just not sure how to take that. I know what it means, I'm not that dense. I just am not interested. My interest in people beyond platonic is just…dead. I don't think I'll be able to feel the nervousness, the feelings I felt in the past again. Only felt that nervous ever once in my life...with him. I've grown so much, educated my own my mind since than. Romance kinda has been ruined for me…realizing every guy just wants to fuck me. Doesn't matter what I think…they don't give a shit about that. They see tits and imagine my guided meditation used for soothing their weird fantasies.

So what, they like my skills. My abilities, my looks. What about -me- though? Who the fuck I am beyond all these skills I possess? My passions…where is someone who compliments me on my passions and not how fat my ass looks in some white pants. I just feel dead inside…unseen. Alien. What is on everyone elses mind is never on mine.

I want to explore the galaxy, build a romance that hits like a brick wall, out of no where…not so obvious and traditional. I'm far from traditional. Flowers and teddies bear don't impress me…material is junk. There to be lost. You know how many pounds of flowers I had drying back in the old city? How many trinkets I was given by various people trying to woo me? All trash done, repo man I bet opened those trucks up and gasped in literal shock. Have fun opening a thrift store!

Not trying to say I'm ungrateful. Many girls want gifts…but I don't want gifts like this. What is the point of gifts if I feel nothing for that person? I feel awkward accepting them. Feel awkward having to always reject people. I feel like a prude. Than again with the history I have with people, its understandable to not be woo'd anymore by something like gifts.

I need to see commitment. Real friendship…and they have to match my level of weird. What does that mean? At the moment every one moves so fast. Not my vibe…not me…I'm immersed in every environment I'm visiting. I just want to exist…not feel rushed. Always on the move…Don't think anyone is like me. The way I am. Better off cloning myself than finding someone like me again.

Pains me. Feeling so disconnected. Like I think different. Just lost in the visuals that play out in my head wishing someone could understand, and want to escape to these places some day with me. Does any of that even make sense? The worlds I create in my head are better than reality. Isn't much here in reality that makes me happy. Limited by so many things while I can go on free adventures to Candyland in my imagination. Not restricted by money there or any of my own physical or mental limitations.

I'm a queen in my dreams. To bad my fictional suitors are anime characters and my favorite video game crushes. This kingdom deserves someone just as awesome as me. Don't even think Goku meets my standards if I'm being honest. Power level being over 9000 just isn't impressive to me…nor is the teddy bear but it is cute.

It is funny, cause earlier before I was given the bear I took a photo with a teddy as a prop…foreshadowing? Coincidence. This city is full of them, inescapable.

[zoe-oneesama]

Hi Zoe! I see you're done with Party Crasher. If I'm not wrong, Frozer is up next. What do you think about the episode?

This episode is a prime example of why Season 2 has nearly no rewatch value after you've endured Season 4. It's so hard to watch with hindsight.

So, the biggest funk of this episode was definitely Chat Noir - it was him when the episode came out and it still is now. Literally opening the episode with another romantic gesture when Ladybug confirms this MUST be post "Glaciator" because she very gently and sadly reminds him that he knows she's in love with someone else.

Well, he took the rejection SO WELL in "Glaciator", so why should we expect any different here?

This episode (paired with "Glaciator") is the episode that launched the "Nice Guy(tm) Chat Noir" idea. He says things in this episode that I swear were pulled right from reddit. He decides they should go solo because she turned down his rose... "We don't always have to do everything together, after all. It's not like we're a couple." Seriously dude? All this time together, our partnership, our relationship, our friendship, it all means nothing because I don't want to be your girlfriend? Because I was honest about having feelings for someone else? THAT'S the kind of person you are? What a great role model.

But then he's over it, like, immediately. I'm so confused as to why this was even here. To make Chat Noir look like a dick? Way to sell your main love interest, show~

So Sadrien sadly takes his sad rose to fencing practice and gets his sad ass handed to him by Kagami, who's like "wtf kicking your ass is boring if you just let me" and he asks her "do you ever feel like you're stuck, replaying the same story over and over again and hoping for it change but nothing ever does?"

And Kagami's response is her infamous "the biggest mistake a fencer can make isn't choosing the wrong technique. It's choosing the wrong target. Change targets" advice.

First of all, her metaphor sucks. Fencing is a 1 vs 1 sport, you can't "change targets". You can switch from aiming for the chest to aiming for the leg, but it's still the same opponent, weirdo.

Second of all, nothing about what Adrien just asked you suggested he was talking about a person or a romantic suitor whatsoever. Your only hint was that he was holding his Reject Rose, but even so, why wouldn't your first thought be that he's talking about his father???

Seriously, this could've been a good lead in for the Adri////gami set up if Kagami had assumed he was talking about Gabriel and responded with empathy. "Yes, sometimes I feel like that with my own mother, but I realized I don't like feeling like I'm waiting for change to happen. I make my own change happen. If you want your story to be different, maybe it has to come from you."

And Adrien, still thinking romantically, is struck. 'Wow' he thinks, 'she understands me in a way that honestly? Not a lot of people would.' And he declares that she's right, he's going to change his story starting now, and hands her the rose, starting their romance story.

But no, sure, a bad fencing metaphor about how he should forget other hoes and look at her, that works too, who needs BUILD UP amiright? I was a fool to think that maybe Kagami would need a REASON to be into the Writer's Pet Adrien when he's OBVIOUSLY already PERFECT.

Not that any of this matters since Adrien all but tells Kagami to her face "I had a great time but I'm sticking to my original pick." and she says she'll wait for him, girl, have some self respect.

But that's getting ahead of ourselves. After the two part ways, we have a scene with him and Plagg about Adrien maybe switching targets, and uh..

Look, I noticed a real problem with the dialogue in this episode - there's a lack of connectivity throughout the episode with the things people say. I know I make jokes about the show having five writers per episode who don't communicate with each other, but here it reeeeeally feels like maybe that's not a joke.

Like here: Plagg suggests that Adrien is going to start pursuing Kagami and Adrien rejects this idea because he's in love with Ladybug ("No, no way. Ladybug's the only one I love), and it probably wouldn't work with Kagami anyway because it's his technique that's wrong and he needs advice on what to do.

This seems to suggest that Adrien isn't going to go after Kagami, and if he did, it would be to test out a technique on her. Like going out with Kagami would be practice. Now that's obviously not verbatim what he said and could justifiably be seen as reaching, but do you see my confusion? Not once does he say anything about being into Kagami or wanting to go after her (though admit-ably he did give her the Reject Rebound Rose).

But then two scenes later when he's asking Marinette for help, he's describing Kagami as if he's in love with her, as if he's really interested in her. Where did THAT come from between scenes?! Writers! COMMUNICATE!

Also he says in the French version that they have classes together, and in English that they study together, and I would just like to see WHEN?!

There's another example when Marinette goes off to the bathroom after Kagami gives more..."advice". Tikki asks why she's sad, and instead of pointing out the very obvious "Oh, I don't know Tikki, my crush asked me for advice on how to get close to another girl, I'm third wheeling his date and am forced to watch them skate around holding hands, she practically claimed him when Phillipe was trying to recruit Adrien for his ice rink by reminding him AND me that Adrien is with HER, aaaaand I fell on my butt in front of him, her, and the guy who I also have caught feelings for but am feeling bad about potentially leading him on because of my lingering feelings for Adrien. And then my crush's date basically told me it's my fault that all these things are happening to me because I 'hesitate'. That might have something to do with why I'm sad."

But instead her answer is she likes Luka but doesn't know if what's between them is that they're just friends, like with Adrien????

Even if that WERE a part of it, that's not the thing that started this or even the thing that set her off. So why is that the thing they made her stuck on??? That's like the fourth thing on the list of Things That's Made Her Upset. Her answer sounds like it comes from a pre-edited script or something.

So yeah, the dialogue is...weird. But that's almost normal for Miraculous Ladybug at this point.

So anyway, Adrien vows to get advice from someone who is Not Plagg and realizes very quickly that every adult in his life is utterly worthless so he scouts out his friends. Except of the 4 couples he zones in on (Marc and Nathaniel, Ivan and Mylene, Alya and Nino, Juleka and Rose) 3/4 of them are together because of Ladybug and an akuma.

"Hey bro, I need some advice, how'd you and Alya get together?"

"Oh, Ladybug locked us in a panther cage during an akuma attack after you tried to set me up with her best friend."

Maybe it's not as crazy that he went to Marinette as I initially thought.

(That said this gave me flashbacks because for some reason all my friends came to me for relationship advice despite being chronically single for most of high school, so, I felt that pain Marinette.)

And just...wow, writers, I know Marinette is your punching bag but this was just cruel. Having her crush, the guy YOU'RE SELLING as her true love go off about how pretty and special and amazing this other girl is right to her face? Is this supposed to be an equivalent heartbreak to what happened in the first scene? Because this doesn't feel equal, this just feels malicious on the writer's end. Ladybug didn't grind into Chat Noir's face how AWESOME the mystery boy is and at least Chat Noir got to throw a tantrum about it, where's Marinette's tantrum?!

I'll say the one point I give to the Girl Squad is them telling Marinette she's crazy for agreeing to third wheel this date and that she should definitely cancel on Adrien. If he can't handle being alone with the girl he wants to date, that sounds like a them problem, there's being selfless and then there's being masochistic, girl.

But then they lose that point for yelling over her when she tells them she's going to try being Just a Friend for Adrien.

The Girl Squad scene is also frustrating in this way that Miraculous is continuously frustrating in that the characters just don't quite say the thing that makes sense (like in "Maledictator" with Marinette calling Chloe "useless" instead of things that would actually stick like "bully"). Marinette says she's giving up on Adrien because she stutters around him and dating would be impossible if she can't even talk to him, and that she's calmer when she's trying to be his friend instead of dating him.

But what she should have said was "he just asked me advice on how to ask out someone else, he's clearly not into me!"

She has a good point with the stuttering thing, but that puts all the weight on HER for the relationship not taking off. It's HER that can't get it together, it's HER that can't get her words out, it's HER that's stopping them from being together. Meanwhile Adrien's over here asking out other girls, calling her "just a friend", not showing up to meet ups that she'll be at... Hell, he tried to set HER up with SOMEONE ELSE ("Animan"). He doesn't want to date her! Message Recieved!

So she brings in Luka, (which honestly, smart move, because how much would Kagami have REALLY hated Marinette if she showed up by herself on THEIR date) and we get The Metaphors.

Marinette is clumsy, this is a known fact, yet the only times she's clumsy at the ice rink is because she's focused on Adrien - when she focuses on Luka, she's smooth, easily let's him guide her, and is pulling off professional moves. ALMOST like he's a good, calming influence compared to the chaotic energy that Adrien brings.

The "problem" (if you're writing for this show and want to encourage Adrien and Marinette being together) is that the episode never challenges why this should be a bad thing. They want her to be with Adrien, soooo why are they basically visually proving why Luka is the better option? Why does this whole episode feel like it's actively trying to turn Marinette away from Adrien?

I mean obviously they're starting the Love Rival drama, but I mean long term. With the Skating Metaphor and Marinette bringing up how her own inability to think clearly around Adrien is a problem, and then never COUNTERING those problems, why are we supposed to root for them again?

Oh because Luka gave his consent in the end, not because of any merit that Adrien brings to the table, got it.

Then there's the obvious Two Guys Reaching Out to Help Marinette Up and She Hesitates Because Her Heart is in Conflict Metaphor. I only give this one props because at least none of the characters explained that one, they just let that one speak for itself, even if it was obvious.

Though that one accidentally extended when the reason Marinette doesn't choose is because Phillipe forces his way into the interaction to beg Adrien to join his rink - kinda like random, out of pocket shit that she has no control over is CONSTANTLY MESSING UP HER ATTEMPTS TO MAKE MOVES.

Gosh Kagami, maybe Marinette would've made a choice if she'd gotten five seconds between them without INTERRUPTIONS! Maybe she even would've grabbed BOTH of their hands, then what would you have done?

Sighhhh, I'm sorry Kagami, I don't mean to rip on you. It's just that you were so freaking RUDE in this episode to anyone who wasn't Adrien (and also a little bit to Adrien tbh). You can turn Phillipe's offer down without telling him his favorite sport is basically trash. You can help Marinette up without rubbing it in that you got the guy first. You can let Adrien turn Phillipe down himself without peeing on him, as if you're jealous of a this guy just for asking Adrien to join a sport ("he already fences with ME!"). Let the boy speak for himself - maybe he actually was interested, did you check in on what he wants?

Yes, Adrien shouldn't just go along with people to make them happy, but he's not going to learn to stand up for himself if you just speak for him.

And Luka...well you're just here for a good time, aren't you? So patient, so kind, so the only person in the room who can read the writing on the wall. At least someone in this group isn't lying to themselves.

I'm losing steam, so let's rapid fire:

I knew I'd hate Phillipe as soon as I saw him and I was right. He's annoying and I bet he's the reason no one wants to come to his stupid ice rink because he's lurking there interrupting other people's dates. I was on Andre's side when he ragged on him for trying to force people to join (though dude you gave him ten minutes, what did you think would happen?)

Luka's so magical he can play electric guitar without an amp or any sound amplifying device, impressive. Or the people on this show have never touched an instrument.

Also Luka, your advice to just be natural and go with the flow is great and also WASTED on Adrien, his "natural" is a DISASTER.

Adrien panic-lying that he brought Marinette to teach him how to skate was pointless. Maybe Kagami would've thought it was endearing you were too nervous to go on a date with her alone if you were just honest about it, but now it's just Another Thing Kagami has to turn into a competition because she sees Marinette as a RiVaL (which honestly amazing jumping to conclusions because wut, where'd you get that idea?)

Also, does Kagami shoot a bow? She says she only participates in "noble" sports, like bow or fencing, but I can't tell if she's listing sports she considers noble, or listing sports she participates in. Also what does a "noble" sport even mean?

S-stalac-Tikki...and Plagg-lagla. I know it's Plagg-Glacier in English, but it's Plagg-lagla in French and it sounds like Adrien's VA is gargling or stuttering when he tries to say it.

What happened to Luka and Kagami, you're not even going to show them frozen?!

Frozer is so ugly omigoooood not looking forward to drawing him.

So yeah, anyway, Frozer is hard to watch, especially with hindsight, the bad parts with Chat Noir are really bad but don't stick around long, so there's that, and while it doesn't feel like the characters are being too bad during this whole "dating" fiasco, it suuuuure feels like the writers were~

[imdoingsortagay]

The baker and her crush - Chapter 1

Summary: After the death of Vision shortly after the birth of her twin boys, Wanda moves into a small city in Jersey and opens a bakery. Which is where she meets you and starts a friendship with you but shortly after it starts Wanda ends up developing feeling for you. What does she do? 

Characters: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warnings: Baker! Wanda, mention of the avengers, mention of vision as well, fluff, useless lesbians, bakeries and food. 

word count: 4.4k words 

A/N:everyone go thank @whelpimhere for the prompt, she is the best person in the whole wide world!!!!!!!!! also the way i was gonna have this posted Thursday but everyone and their mother kept interrupting me and making me run errands.

Happy reading besties!!!

Let it be known that Wanda had no plans of ever having a crush on you. After the death of her husband and the birth of her twin boys, romance was not on her list of priorities because her main goal was to be the best and do the best for her kids. Plan on having a crush on someone who became one of her closest friends ( Next to Natasha but she doesn’t have to know that information of course) was not on her list.

She had gotten a love for baking ever since she was a little kid and it had continued as the years went on. It only grew stronger when she had joined the Avengers having access to the best ingredients and items to bake whatever recipe she found online. Tony has spared no expense when it came to groceries for the team and Wanda used that to her advantage very much. It’s how she ended up bonding with Natasha, late nights when both of them couldn’t sleep due to nightmares, and ended up baking famous desserts from Russia and Sokovia. It’s where she ended up falling for the synthezoid Vision, teaching him to bake some of her favorite desserts which he would keep in the back of his mind when Wanda had a bad day and needed something to cheer her up. 

So once she was done for good with the Avengers, Wanda had decided to open up a little bakery in new jersey. It was an excellent way to keep her busy while the boys were at school along with something to occupy her mind. Many on the team had tried their best to convince her to stay but it would bring too much sadness to be in the area that reminds her too much of the love of her life. Plus she wanted a fresh start in which she could heal from his death and have the “ ideal family life” she had seen in some of her favorite sitcoms. 

Lucky for Wanda, she wasn’t all alone in the town when she had moved in or when she was opening a bakery. She had some friends for support like the remaining avengers, her neighbor to her left Agatha, and you. 

Wanda had met you and Agatha 6 years after she had moved to the small town with her then-baby boys, meeting Agatha as well. After college, you had moved into Westview, finding an affordable home close to where you work and avoiding a long commute. Agatha had seen you struggling with some of your boxes, and immediately made friends with you, claiming you need someone to “ have fun within such a boring town” or whatever. That day you were tired from driving so you just smiled and nodded at whatever she said. After a week of unpacking, and waiting for furniture to be delivered, you had a little get-together with Agatha as well as her mystery plus one. 

Which is where you met Wanda and had become best friends right away. Both of you had the same taste in tv shows, books and music so it was no shock to anyone that you’d click right away. Along with that both of you always seem to be up at the early hours of the night, Wanda because of the kids and you with many deadlines your boss had given you that you’d have to finish late at night at home.

 Years ago

“ How are the babies Wanda?” you ask her on your phone, Wanda and Tommy on facetime with you as you are trying your best to finish this deadline so you can get 4 hours of sleep. 

“ Billy is fast asleep while Tommy here,” she shows the 1-year-old boy she’s holding on her side who seems to be wide awake,” wants to help Mommy with some cleaning here in the kitchen instead of sleeping like his brother”

“Oh poor baby, “ you say to her as you finish the last of the project,” once I send the last of this to my boss I can give both of you my undivided attention,” you tell her through the phone and successfully send the email with 20 minutes to space from the deadline that was set.

“ finally y/n, now can you tell me about what your mystery admirer sent today to your house,” the redhead says to you, trying her best to get Tommy to sleep and failing badly.

“ Well yesterday they left a box of some of the best croissants ever, I’m talking stuff that would be found in Paris, god they were amazing and today they left some snickerdoodles at my door when I got up,” you show both of them the box of cookies left for you when you got up for work. Tommy just continued to make baby noises as he had no sense of what cookies were while his mother was smiling like crazy at how excited you had gotten over the box of cookies. 

It had been about 4 weeks since a mystery person had left you baked goods for you in the morning, just leaving a note with said dessert and you still have not gotten close to finding out who it was. 

“ Oh, snickerdoodles!!! How amazing, I wonder if y/n had figured out who sent them all this food,” she says to her son and he giggles at the baby voice being used by his mom, as Wanda continues to hear about the dessert that was left to you. 

Around the time that the boys were around one year old, Wanda had developed a crush on you and had been having a hard time trying to “ woo” you or whatever modern term the kids use these days. 

You can’t blame Wanda for not having the moves with you, at the time it was still weird for her to even like someone after Vision had died. It felt like she was betraying him by liking you so she had hoped that maybe if she had dropped off some stuff she had baked for you before heading to the bakery in the morning, then you could get the hint about the crush the woman had on you. 

So far there’s been no progress at all with her crush on you, only seeming to grow bigger as the years went on, especially when you spent more time with the boys when Wanda had gotten busy with the Bakery, having to hire 2 people to help her out. She didn’t think it would be such a hit in Westview but she was happy nonetheless with all of the new customers and the happy faces who came to taste her desserts. 

“ Are you sure you can take care of the boys while I deal with the problem at the bakery? I don’t want to have you babysit on your day off and stuff -” 

“ Wanda I don’t mind taking care of them, now go and deal with the new hire while the three of us watch some paw patrol,” you say as the 3-year-olds are too busy paying attention to the plot of the show. 

Whatever plot you can’t seem to figure out always seems to get their attention for what feels like hours. 

Your friend gives you a checklist that’s meant for her babysitter, kisses them on the head before making her way out of the house to go and help the new hire at the bakery before he ends up setting the place on fire by doing something dumb. 

Once she helps the dude with the unexpected rush of customers, Wanda finally comes home to see the three of you sitting on the living floor. Both of them are putting their full attention on you as you show them some of the Lego sets that you’ve built over the years, having a whole folder on your phone dedicated to it. 

“ Boys Mommy is home!!!” Wanda announces and both of them run off from their spots to greet their mom with a big hug. 

“ How were the boys y/n? Did you have fun with y/n boys?” she asked and hoped that nothing went in the couple of hours she was gone. As much as she loved the boys, they sometimes have a problem with making babysitters quit, so maybe the universe can help her out and hoped they were on their best behavior

“ Mommy we had fun with auntie y/n,” Tommy says and Billy nods in agreement with his brother. 

“ Y/n let us have ice cream and then we got to watch some tv and she even showed us legos,” Billy says with excitement in his voice, mostly from the ice cream you had given him but still very much a good response. 

“ Yea mommy, can we get legos like the ones y/n has?” Tommy says and gives Wanda some of his best puppy eyes. 

“ If you and your brother go and clean up the mess in the living room,” she points to the mess of toys,” we can go to the store” and both of the boys run off to clean up the mess of toys while you get up to go and talk to Wanda. 

“ Both of them were on their best behavior don’t you worry,” you say and place your hand on her shoulder which takes Wanda a bit to wonder what this means,” as always if you need me to babysit here or at my house, I’m always happy to”. 

“ You're the best friend ever you know that y/n?” Wanda says to you in a sweet tone and you smile back at her. 

She has no idea how the fuck this crush on you hasn't killed her yet or how you haven’t figured out it was her delivering all the desserts. 

It even leads to the both of you sometimes having late-night baking sessions after the boys fall asleep or when Natasha along with her sister Yelena volunteer to babysit the twins while she handles the stuff in the bakery. 

By “ Handling stuff “ that means baking different types of desserts while you taste test them and give your honest opinion on them. What else did you think? 

It was a nice Thursday evening, the sunset had just set in Westview as the redhead across from you is testing out a new flavor for cookies she wants to sell along with some cupcakes as summer gets closer. It had been kind of sweet and a little domestic just watching the redhead do her magic as she reads over different recipes that have been in her family since she was a small child. 

You didn’t even notice that you were zoned out watching her bake until you felt some flour hit your face, Wanda on the other side of you giggling like an idiot that she caught you off guard, unaware of the reason behind it. 

A couple of seconds pass by as you quickly move items with sort of value away from her baking station and an all-out food fight begins in the kitchen. Loud laughs and cheers can be heard by everyone within half a mile, both of you not giving 2 shits if you get called by the police for being too loud. 

20 minutes later, both of you call it a draw ( Wanda trying to claim that she won fair and square), and you spend another 30 minutes or so cleaning the mess that you had created in the bakeries kitchen, not wanting to piss off the employee who had closed that night after hearing about the food fight and the aftermath of it. 

Wanda managed to bake like she had wanted to even with the impromptu food fight that occurred. Both of you sit in front of the oven, patiently waiting for the cupcakes to be done so the cookies can bake. Just happy to enjoy the silence and energy between the two of them in the kitchen.

“ y/n???” 

“ Yeah Wanda?” you ask her.

“ Did you ever figure out who that secret admirer was ?” 

“ I have not Wanda,” you say looking at her,” why are you asking me ?” 

“ Well,” she says and avoids making eye contact with you, afraid of the reaction of what she’s going to admit to you,” I do know who is it”. 

Better late than never to tell you that she’s been the one leaving an assortment of desserts at your door. It’s a surprise to hear that you still haven’t figured it out yet but then again if you don’t get a good amount of sleep, it’s hard for you to think. 

“ Wait, are you telling me all this time you’ve known who it was Wanda?????” you say in a surprised tone. It’s not that you’ve been hating all of the food they have been delivering, it's saved you so much money since this has started but with your busy job, there’s been a difficulty with trying to figure out who the mystery person is. 

Most of your free time that you do have, is used for sleeping or helping out your friends ( mostly Wanda if you had to be honest) with whatever problems they had. Sometimes even put together some amazing lego sets to display in your office as well. 

As you patiently wait for Wanda to tell you who the mystery person is, the alarm that she had set on her phone rings at the perfect moment. She wanted to tell you but her thoughts were getting the best of her, unfortunately. 

She decided to tell you another time when it’s just the both of you and she isn’t focusing on baking and her business. 

Maybe she’ll start to telling over people about it. 

Which she decides to do when she gets back home from the bakery to see Natasha and Yelena in her living room, with both of her boys sleeping on either side of them. It’s kind of a cute thing to see but feels it’s too risky to take a picture. 

“ I’ll take the boys to their bed,” Yelena mouths to her as she wakes up the boys so they can sleep in their room.

Once Yelena has both of them Wanda gives her a thumbs up and smiles, and Natasha gives her a questioning look. She knows her too well to know that something must be up, probably having to do with you. 

“ Wanda are you okay?” Natasha asks her and that’s when Wanda decides to tell her about you, well she knew who you were but the part about having a crush on you. Yelena even got to hear a bit of the story and once she was done, all Wanda could feel at the moment was relief that someone heard her talk about you. 

She also feels hopeful that after telling both of them about you, they could help her come up with a plan so she could say to you without being nervous. And that’s what the three of them 2 for the next three hours, accompanied by the help of coffee. 

“ She needs to go big Natasha, Wanda would want to impress this y/l/n chick,” Yelena states, being firm on her plan of doing something big and over the top while Natasha is on the other side of this. Keep it plain and simple so she can make the point.  

“ Let me guess Yelena, you got it from all those cheesy romcoms??” Natasha says to her younger sister, getting flipped off by the blonde for liking those types of movies for the cheesy romance and predictable plot.

“ They are not cheesy! It's funny for you to say it’s cheesy when I saw you watching the wedding planner the last week when it came back from the mission with Kate”. 

“ for research stupid” 

“ Sure it was Natasha, cause by the looks of it you seemed to be intrigued by the plot and I saw no paper around you STUPID-” 

“ Okay call me stupid one more time- “ 

“ Stupid”

“ I’m gonna tell Kate about the time you stole her leftover mac and cheese that she bought from that once fancy restaurant.” 

“ YOU WILL NOT TELL HER NATASHA OR IM GONNA FIGHT YOU” Yelena whisper yells to her sister in an attempt to wake up Billy and Tommy from their slumber 

“ And I’m gonna win”

“ Sure Natasha with your lame tech” 

“It's not lame “ 

“ Lame” 

“ Now call me lame one more time-” 

“ WILL BOTH OF YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF DUMMIES AND HELP ME FIGURE OUT HOW THE FUCK I’M GONNA TELL Y/N,” Wanda whisper yells at both the widows which makes them shut up right away. It didn’t even wake up the boys at all too so she’s happy about that. They both take a break from arguing like a bunch of idiots to help their friend with her current problem. 

Yelena and Natasha stop and both find a way to combine their ideas, and one hour after their 5-hour brainstorming session, both of them were able to come up with a plan for Wanda 

~ 

Wanda knocks on your door a couple of times, holding a box of heart-shaped cookies that were personally decorated by Billy and Tommy themselves. Who had been woken up by all of the talking at night when one of the boys woke up from a nightmare and had walked into the living to find all the women in their brainstorming session. The plan that was made by the widows was thrown out the window for the plan that both her boys. 

“ Can we help with your plan mommy?” Billy asks as Wanda is walking them to school, the question taking her by surprise that the boys were awake when she was with Natasha and Yelena what to do. 

“ Wait how do you know about the plan boys ?” 

“ I woke up from a nightmare and heard you talking with auntie Nat and Yelena but went back to sleep right after,” Billy tells her and pauses,” And then I told Tommy about it when I woke up the next morning. The next time she sees the widows she’s gonna have to throw a pillow at their faces for being too loud. 

The redhead takes a moment to check the time on her phone, she still has 30 minutes til school starts, so it gives her more than enough time to hear the plan Billy and Tommy had come up with. 

Which led her to where she’s standing at the moment, a box of cookies made by her, decorated by her sons, a nice card made by herself with a nice written note on it and hopes that all of this goes well for her. 

It takes all of her not to check the time on her phone but that would just make her even more nervous than she already is and all she could do at the moment is just waiting for you to open the door for her. 

“ Ralph if you need one more fucking egg from me again I'm gonna have to start giving you direction to the grocery store and -, “ you say as you see it’s not your annoying neighbor who never seems to have eggs to cook with,” Wanda hi! What are you doing here so early in the morning??” 

“ I came to deliver these cookies that I and the boys made yesterday,” she tells you while handing you the box,” and to also give you this card that I wrote, I’m too nervous to tell you so I wrote my feelings in the card”. 

You step to the side to let Wanda in so she can come in while you read the card.

“ Where are the boys?” 

“ Asleep right now, Natasha is here so she’s with them so they are not alone in the house,” Wanda says. 

Wanda takes a seat on your couch right next to you and you open the card to see the most beautiful design and the sweetest message ever. The woman next to you relaxes for a bit seeing the big smile on your face.

Dear Y/N

When my husband had died when the boys were just babies, I had no idea if I’d even be able to love someone again like I did Vision, and then I met you. I had started off seeing you as just a friend and as both of us spent more time together, I started to develop feelings for you. The feelings I had for you made me feel guilty for having them but you are such an amazing person, so nice to me and everyone around you, helping me with the boys, and so on. I think my favorite thing about you is how good you are with kids, especially when some people might hate kids for no reason, here you are always being so nice, being so cool with them and they love how cool and nice you are( maybe because of the legos for Tommy but I’m not too sure about that being the only reason). So as my feelings started to develop, I decided that sending you different desserts would maybe help you get the hint but clearly, my plan did not work too well in my favor since I’m here rambling. 

To make a long story short, I like you so much y/n you have no idea 

Sincerely, the mystery dessert person, Wanda Maximoff 

You check the back of the card to see the cutest messages ever from the twins too, guess they wanted credit for their part in this too. 

Cookie decor by Tommy And Billy :)

“ Natasha and Yelena had this big plan made up,” Wanda start to talk after giving you time to read the card,” but the boys said it was too hard and decided that I should just go simple, plus they wanted to decorate some cookies for you”. 

You open the box and 2 heard cookies decorated by what seems to be Wanda and 2 other ones that seem to look like lego pieces, which you assume were decorated by both Billy and Tommy. You make a mental note that the next time you see them, you’ll thank them for the cute cookies. 

“I am so dumb Wanda,” you say to her. 

“ No, you aren’t y/n” 

“ All this time it was you and now I feel bad because you’ve been so nice and yeah I do have feelings because oh my god,” you pause,” Wanda you're like the coolest person I’ve ever known, stupid hot, and like the best mom in the whole world like you could get anyone else and I'm lame -” 

Wanda interrupts your rambling to kiss her and to say it’s the best kiss you’ve ever had would be a total understatement. Her lips are so soft on yours, the way she’s holding on to you is so gentle and all you want to do is be in this position with her forever but at some point, both of you do need air to breathe. 

“ Hi y/n” 

“ You did that because? “ 

“ To stop you from rambling,” she says with a smile and leads you to the couch so both of you can sit for a while, to bask in the moment. 

“ hahaha right,” you tell her and do your best to hide the blush that’s appearing on your face but she stops you from doing that. Wanting to see how cute you look after kissing you like she’s been wanting you for years. 

“ If I actually would have seen the clue that it was you I would have realized sooner,” you tell her Wanda. 

“ I know but y/n,” she takes a hold of both of your hands,” I know that you would have seen it was me all of those years ago but your job kept you too busy but hey here we are now and that’s all that matters”. 

“ I can’t wait to see how everyone else reacts to this,” you tell her. 

“ Can I kiss you again Wanda?” you ask her and you pull her to sit on your lap so you can feel her close to you and kiss her some more before she has to leave you. 

For the most part, when you do tell people it’s all mostly a good reaction from friends and family. 

Agatha is happy but not surprised it took you both this long to admit the feeling both of you had for each other. Something about you being the most useless lesbians she’s ever met, unsure as to what she meant by that but a happy reaction from her anyway.

 Both Billy and Tommy were over the moon at the news of both of you admitting your feelings to each other. Her sons gave each other high fives at the fact that their plan went super great, along with the fact that their mom was happy with them. You even got the “ if you hurt her “ talk from the boys when Wanda was in the bathroom but you promised then not to ever break her heart. 

Everyone else was also happy for both of you as well. Natasha and Yelena were excited when Wanda had told them but Yelena was a bit mad when they heard their plan wasn’t used. 

“ You mean to tell me that we came up with the best plan ever and you threw it away for your kid's plan????” Yelena says a bit in shock. 

“ Why are you even mad about it Yelena, we can just use that plan for someone else when the time comes,” Natasha tells her sister to calm her down a bit. She’s also mad at the plan not being used as well, not as mad at Yelena. If there’s something known about Natasha is that she’s very well at hiding emotions from others but Wanda could tell. They were happy to see that their friend was able to find love again nonetheless. 

Let it be known, that even after 6 years after the death of her husband, she was able to move on from her feelings for him. Even after she felt like having any sort of romantic feelings for anyone else would be like betraying him, here she was able to tell you how she feels about you. 

Overall, Wanda is just excited for the future when it comes to her bakery as it seems to always be increasing with happy customers but also a future where she can be happy and have a romantic relationship with you.

[imagine-knowing-a-name]

omnia vincit amor

Summary: Natasha and Y/N are best friends, but friendships change when relationships start.

Pairing: Wanda x Nat (romantic), Nat & aroace!Reader & Wanda (platonic)

Word Count: 1677

Warnings: Death, loneliness, swearing, it’s angst

A/N: In case anyone forgot I’m a massive nerd, the title is in latin. In other news I keep reading posts about aroace loneliness and making myself sad and this is just the end product? It’s isolating sometimes thinking about the future. I’ll write some actual happy aroace reader fics one day 😭

—————————————————

You couldn’t blame her. Not really. It had to be the end for one of you, and this was the option with the happy ending. Not for you, but for them, the two people you cared for most in the world. They would get their happy ending, and wasn’t that all anyone strived for?

Because, in the end, love conquers all.

——————flashback——————

You were on the sofa when Natasha approached; she was out of sight, but you knew the sound of her steps well enough to know. Even if you hadn’t, she spoke first, and the voice and teasing tone were all too familiar: “For an aromantic, you can have some excellent romance ideas.”

“Well yeah, being aromantic doesn’t stop me from being a romantic. It’s the contrary: aromantic, a romantic. Get it?” Greetings weren’t necessary, nor was properly getting up to see her. Tilting your head over the back of the sofa and seeing her upside down was more than enough in your opinion.

Natasha rolled her eyes playfully, smiling broadly despite the sigh she produced. “I got it before you even said it. How? Because you’ve made this joke before!”

“I have one joke, okay?! You’ve got to let me have this!”

“I’ll let you have it,” she relented, and you’d already started to celebrate your meaningless victory before she continued. “But only because your dating advice worked.”

That stopped you in your tracks. You sprung up fully, turning your torso to face Natasha completely. “Wanda said yes?”

“She said yes.”

“Holy shit, this is so awesome! Aww, you’re going to be so cute!”

“Y/N, calm down. She agreed to a first date, not marriage.”

“Yeah, but you’ve both wanted this for forever. And trust me, because I had to hear both sides for soooo long. Like, sooo long, so much pining. Let me tell you-”

“I get it,” Natasha interrupted, “we took a while.”

“That you did. But what I’m saying is: it’s gonna work out. I know it.”

You kept grinning, trying not to let the expression drop in front of the spy. She rarely missed changes in your mood, no matter how well you thought you’d hidden them. This time, however, you didn’t have to try so hard; she was too distracted planning her date to notice anyway. 

Natasha was your best friend, and Wanda a close second, so you were incredibly happy for them. You thrived on seeing good come to them, but your insecurities started to get the better of you, and they freed themselves when Natasha paused for your input.

“It sounds perfect,” you forced. “You’ll both do so well together. Only thing I’ll be sad about is losing the role of your favourite person!” A slight chuckle followed your words, a meagre attempt to play it off as a joke rather than genuine fear. 

“As if you could ever lose that role, you’ll always be my platonic favourite.” It fooled Natasha enough for her to join in with the joke, too distracted again to notice the pain behind your comment.

Guilt crept up on you for even feeling insecure. Natasha was trying to reassure you, as she’d always done, and she’d always been good with you. She’d never insinuated that a romantic relationship was beyond a platonic one, never called dating ‘something more’, but her absent reassurance made you wonder. Had she meant everything she’d said before? Or were they just well-chosen words from a time without romance?

—————————————————

Time proved that things wouldn’t be as bad as you’d thought, so the insecurity lessened over time; it never vanished completely, but it became easier to ignore. As her best friend, you were subject to hearing Natasha gushing about Wanda on a near daily basis, and from that, you got to hear how their relationship grew. According to her ‘morning after’ recap, their first date was perfect; it led to more dates, which led to actually dating, which led to Wanda moving into Natasha’s compound room.

Still, they both made time for you, almost as much as before, not wanting you to feel left out even with the new relationship. Along with just talking and hanging out in the compound, Natasha began to invite you on ‘friend dates’, days to do the things you both wanted to do. Sometimes it would just be the two of you, and sometimes you’d invite Wanda too, though since the whole point was to make sure you didn’t feel like you were third wheeling, your two friends would keep their PDA to a minimum. 

Sometimes they’d try to sneak kisses and flirting past you; on the days when you were excitable and often ran ahead or were distracted by the activity. Oftentimes when you looked over at them and they were making out, you simply carried on your way and left them to it, not actually minding. But you had a reputation to keep up, so towards the end, or if things were looking to get a little too heated, you’d snap your fingers, playfully indicating for them to return to the day’s activity.

Taking them to a rom-com was a mistake you wouldn’t make again though. Nothing stopped the couple’s flirting after that.

Being with them was fun; it took away your fears and feelings of loneliness; you got to do things you enjoy with your favourite people. It should have been enough, but the isolating thoughts came crashing back as soon as you were home. While Wanda and Natasha would return to their own room for time as a couple, you would be alone, yearning for a closeness that only seemed to come with dating.

—————————————————

When it came to Avengers work, the mission groupings resulted from two factors: how much everyone’s skills applied to the mission; and how close teammates were; personal friendships tended to affect team performance positively.

The pairings evolved and eventually led to you, Natasha, and Wanda being the most frequent grouping. It had been pairings at first: you and Wanda, Nat and Wanda, you and Nat; whoever fit best to the mission. But then Natasha and Wanda had started dating, and the suggestive comments through the comms began to get to the HQ team. And so, the team stopped sending them alone, adding you to the mix; you worked well with them both, and the team could count on you to curb the couple’s distractions with each other.

Missions went on like that for months, the three of you always being sent together. You were a dream team. Sure, there’d been a few cuts, scrapes, and bruises, but mostly, they’d gone by without a hitch. 

It only took one mission for that to change. 

It should have been simple; subdue a few guards, retrieve the data inside the building, and leave. The assignment team had even decided just you and Natasha would be enough; only at your and Nat’s insistence had Wanda been added. 

The hostiles knew the three of you had been coming; the tip-off was something you would have to sort once you got off from the mission. They’d found a way to stop Wanda’s powers, and there were far more guards than you had expected, leaving you woefully outnumbered.

From there, it went downhill quickly. Unless something changed, you wouldn’t be winning this fight. There was still one way to complete the mission, and it was the scenario the three of you attempted. You and Wanda kept fighting atop the scaffold while Natasha snuck a few floors down to grab the intel. As soon as she’d acquired it, your group would back off, giving the impression of abandoning your assault.

Only, it never got to that stage. 

A shockwave blasted on the rooftop; there was nothing you could do as it hit, sending you toppling over the edge. From a glance at Wanda, you saw she suffered the same fate; she was too far away for you to grab her, too far to have any attempt at saving both of you. With her powers, the fall wouldn’t have been an issue. But they were still blocked, and she was scared.

Natasha ran to the edge of her floor when she heard the screams; the windows weren’t in, so she had the full range of view to look up, seeing you and Wanda hurtling in her direction.

Grief set on Natasha's face the instant the situation became clear. Wanda’s powers weren’t working; you didn’t even have powers. Nothing and no one would stop your falls; no one but Natasha.

Her eyes flit from Wanda’s to yours – she couldn’t save you both. You knew that, but she had just realised it. Your friend had a decision to make, and she had a split second to make it.

She chose Wanda.

Natasha lunged just in time, grabbing her girlfriend and pulling her back onto solid ground. The two stumbled, then locked in a hug. Wanda sobbed at her sudden safety while Natasha embraced her, but the assassin’s gaze was over Wanda’s shoulder. You were out of reach now, in the final few seconds of your life.

Pain and apologies greeted you when you looked up. But you couldn’t blame her. Not really. The value of romance over friendship was a fact you’d carried with you for your whole life, something that left a pain in your heart with every reminder, but it meant you knew how it would end. You’d always known. 

Despite it all, you realised that hadn’t prepared you for the confirmation. So, for the final time, your heart clenched at the sight of Wanda and Nat embracing. They would have a happy ending: a marriage, family, the whole lot, everything they had ever wanted, and everything you’d known you wouldn’t get.

In your last moment, you hid the hurt that must have shone through on your face, replacing it with acceptance. Natasha was still watching; you had to let her see that she had made the right choice in saving her love.

After all, it was a well-known phrase: omnia vincit amor.

Love conquers all.

—————————————————

part 2 

[naruthandir]

Something that really weirds me out is how hostile some people are about those who decide to interpret Frodo and Sam as romantic.

Like, no, I don't care what the author "meant" to say. He is dead, and buried, may he rest in peace. And if you care so much, he advocated for the freedom of the readers to interpret his work however they want in the foreword. Did you read the foreword??

I will be projecting my own trauma onto Frodo anyway. And I have never been to war, and hopefully never will be. Yet I find comfort and understanding in his story, because I too have been through hell, I too have done horrible things, and horrible things have been done to me. They look, in reality, nothing like what Frodo went through, and yet the journey resonated with me in a way that few others have. When I thought no one else would ever quite "get it", because no one else had been through it, I found a story that said "I get it, I know what it is like, and it's alright".

If you read Sam and Frodo as a friendship, that is totally valid! I support that reading. That is good. That is, most likely, what the author intended. The kind of bond you can only develop under very specific circumstances. That is valuable. That is good.

Some people will choose to read it as a queerplatonic relationship, because even as a platonic bond it does defy our societies expectations of what a platonic relationship is. And that is a great reading too! And I love it!

I choose to read them as romantic. Not because they call each other dear, or because they love each other, or hold hands or even kiss. Which would just by itself enough for most people to assume romance. But for me it's not about that. It's about the fairytale tropes, and the narrative parallels, and all the little details that I can't quite explain otherwise. Call me close minded, if you want. I think it's reasonable enough. I think it gets enough support of the text to stand by itself. And I am not the one who is getting angry about other people's takes online. But what does make me angry is their hostility, the fact that they get offended so bad if you so much bring the idea of it. They dismiss it instantly. Like you just said something sacrilegious. Unthinkable. Like it somehow "lessens" the impact of their story, which it very much does not. Almost as if they thought homosexuality was wrong, or less valuable than a Heterosexual Bond™ between two Heterosexual Men™.

What I am trying to say is. Can we chill. Can we accept the fact that multiple different things can be true at the same time to different people and that when it comes to literary analysis we can't claim to have the ultimate truth on any piece of media. Can we accept that. Because doing otherwise seems rather childish to me. Bro I am just trying to have fun over here you are the one leaving the angry comments on wholesome posts.

And don't get me wrong, I am not against debate. But when the simple mention of a different view makes you outrage, on a topic that is completly harmless and separated from any material, real-world issues, then I think you have a problem.

Sorry for the rant, I am just a little tired of people on ceirtain platforms reacting negatively at the sole mention of this subject. It makes me kinda sad, really. I promise I won't start any "discourse" again, I do a great effort to stay as far away from it as I can. Take this more as a take on the whole landscape of fandom and media discussion online.