#Robins ramblings

[warpaint-sys]

What the fuck is "systrender" and "anti traumagenic" what is going on

[cerealdesignation]

Getting a car is awesome until you forget how cars work and kill your battery the first night because you didn’t turn the dash lights off 😋🙏

[cerealdesignation]

I need someone to stretch me out like this

Stretchy fish :3

[bitter-hibiscus]

Red Hood joins twitter. Chaos arises

pt2

[spocks-husband]

In Bruce's phone, he keeps the contact photos for all his kids as their baby pictures (or the closest approximation that he has).

Dick's is a photo of him when he'd first designed his Robin costumes, smiling ear to ear as he proudly showed off his first hand-sewn prototype.

Jason's is a picture Alfred got of the boy sitting on Bruce's shoulders while they went over a case.

Tim is him fast asleep in the middle of taking notes on his first real mission (he wanted to impress Bruce really bad).

Damian is a polaroid he got from Talia of him when he was about a year old, teething on a mango seed as he sat on the floor of his mother's room.

Cass is entirely blacked out except for her big bright eyes that can be seen in the darkness-- Bruce thinks it's the cutest photo ever.

Even Babs has hers set to a photo of her with her first computer, grinning happy as she probably hacked into a federal database somewhere. He got that photo from Jim.

Likewise, of course, Alfred's (very bareboned) smartphone that he barely uses has Bruce's contact set with a photo of him playing in the snow as a little boy.

[littlefankingdom]

Gothamites: Lol. No way can Bruce Wayne raise a child. He is an incompetent playboy.

Bruce Wayne: *raises Dick to become an incredible good-hearted intelligent young man*

Gothamites: Wtf

[frownyalfred]

the batkids play the “what’s the most annoying injury you’ve ever had?” game but it’s lighthearted (“I broke both thumbs on a bad landing and couldn’t play video games for a month” “one time I got a cut on my leg that reopened every time I stood up” etc) until Bruce walks in. someone asks him the most annoying injury he’s ever had and he doesn’t even stop to think about it.

“Fracturing my spine.”

“Oh jeez,” Dick said, making a face. “Yeah, that’ll do it. That’s definitely…well, annoying isn’t the word I’d use.”

Bruce, expressionless: “Mostly because I couldn’t walk or complete other daily activities without assistance for an extended period of time.”

Dick, glancing at Jason. “Uh….huh.”

“What about that time Ivy hit you with that leaf and you couldn’t eat legumes for a year?” Jason asked, redirecting the suddenly maudlin group. “Wasn’t that more annoying?”

“Hmm.”

Tim leaned back, looking curious. “Just legumes?”

“Legumes,” Jason repeated, waving a hand. “It got ugly.”

“I’m not a huge fan of peanuts,” Bruce said, thoughtful.

“Yeah, no shit, I wonder why.”

[foldingfittedsheets]

Jobs don’t always limit the skills you learn to the job itself. For instance, when I worked at Red Robin, they’d offer 30 minutes for an unpaid lunch, or 15 if you wanted to get paid the whole time. If you think that’s extremely shitty join the club.

As a result of wanting money I got really good at eating quickly so I could use my break to read or relax. I’ve always been a fast eater but when I worked there I learned how to eat an entire burger and fries in under five minute while keeping up a conversation. This is not advisable for good digestion, eat slow and chew your food.

There’s a balance to not talking with your mouth full and eating extremely quickly and it was a regularly used skill for years. When I worked at a sex shop I bragged about it once to a coworker.

She watched me with a timer going after I told her about it and we got burgers. I chatted with her the whole time. I was done in four minutes forty seconds.

Afterward she looked haunted and commented, “It was like watching a snake unhinge it’s jaw but you never talked with food in your mouth!”

More recently my beloved and I were catching up with a friend over lunch. I had a sandwich while they’d gotten falafel plates. We were having a lovely chat but after I finished a story our friend said, “I don’t want your food to go cold while you talk!”

I was surprised. I’d been deliberately talking more so she could eat. I turned to show her my empty sandwich box. Both she and my beloved were stunned. It was like I’d performed a magic trick and made my sandwich disappear because neither had even noticed me demolishing it like a snake unhinging it’s jaw.

[spicy-apple-pie]

I like to think that Jason always has food on him, especially as a kid.

I imagine him walking around the manor with his pockets bulging.

“What do you got in your pockets, Jay?” Bruce asks the first time he sees this, out of pure curiosity.

“None of your business.” Jason snaps. “Why? Think I got jewelry or something?”

“No, not at all.” Bruce hurries to correct. If Jason were stealing from him, he’d be more worried about the implication that he was planning to run away. “Just curious.”

Jason huffs, and leaves.

It doesn’t take long for Bruce to realize that Jason is stuffing his pockets with food. And not stuff like candy or cookies like Dick used to do on patrols, but more hardy foods like granola bars.

So he starts telling Alfred to get more packaged non perishables. A variety of granola bars, cheese and crackers, even juice boxes. And he never tells Jason about this, but the food goes missing all the same.

Bruce even puts pockets in Robin’s costume, just to make sure he feels comfortable.

Jason really appreciates it, but they never talk about it.

[qcomicsy]

Things I think must have happened in Gotham.

Batman (too tired to remind himself the secret identity stuff): Dick

Villain: Hey–o

Villain too: Hey-o indeed man what the fuck–

Villain: He's just a child.

Villain: How can you call a child a Dick

Villain: This is just horrible taste–

Robin:

--

Jason high in pain killers seeing Damian and Tim dressed as Robin side by side: I think I had nightmares about this

---

Batman 72h without sleep

Robin moving too fast

Batman who thought it was the memorial because he's without glasses:

Robin:

Batman

Robin: Why is your hand on the emergency button?

Batman, who almost had a heart attack: No reason, why are you awake?

---

Jason, Robin year one seeing Nightwing and Barbara flirt knowing damn well Dick has a girlfriend at the titans: He has a problem.

Bruce, knowing who that problem comes from: He's young.

Jason:

Jason: Apple's and trees...

Bruce: Out.

---

Harley: You're all whore's and a virgin–

Jason: (Visibly offended).

[dreamingaboutsakuratrees]

[During a white elephant gifts exchange]

Steph: A metro card? no way!

Tim: From me! Unlimited rides

Jason: Oh, unlimited rides? Is that what your tramp stamp says?

Tim:

Tim: I was gonna get mad, but that was a damn good one

[eldritchdemonfox]

Cannon! Tim Drake was less “super smart fanboy kid with a camera” and more “internet message board conspiracy theorist with a wall of red string who has undiagnosed adhd and anxiety” and I think we should really be talking about that more

Yeah sure fannon Tim being a cute kid with a camera is whatever but what happened to “I watched a kids parents die and it traumatized me so hard that I hyperfixated on him to cope and now I make conspiracy theories about him and also his family”

[cerealdesignation]

Every day god tests me and everyday he becomes more scared of what I can accomplish

[cabbagewithissues]

The way The Boy Wonder depicts Jason’s memory of his murder in this panel is haunting.

He looks at the readers, as though begging them to help. He doesn’t know they’re the ones who voted for his demise. That they chose this.

I can’t get over it.

[bitter-hibiscus]

There's not a single thing you could say to convince me that Bruce and Tim are gothamites. Look at this fucking map

Bristol is so far removed from the heart of Gotham that there's quite literally no way it shares many, if any, cultural traits with Gotham. That's not even counting the insane wealth disparity that makes the ways of life (and therefore culture and habits and dialects and food) completely incomparable. Tim and Bruce aren't gothamites, they're Bristol brats, and I fully believe nobody in Gotham would accept them calling themselves gothamites. Especially with the size of the Wayne Estate.

Edit bc a lot of you are reblogging this base post instead of the additions in the notes: Turns out I am a victim of fanon and Tim only moved to Bristol after Bruce took him in. Tim can call himself a gothamite. Bruce cannot

[spocks-husband]

Mainly because when he started adopting kids he just sort of figured 'this is just what you do with children' since it's how he was raised and then felt weird not doing it with the rest after Dick and Jason, all the Batkids have random super obnoxious rich kid skills that Bruce either taught them or sent them to classes for. Obviously they all know how to fence, that's pretty common knowledge-- but they're all also fluent in French and Latin (plus varying degrees of Arabic and Ancient Greek), very well familiar with dining and event etiquette for any possible situation (mostly by Alfred's doing), well versed in classical literature and mythology, capable with at least one instrument (piano for most of them-- though Dick plays the flute!), and quite comfortable writing in cursive to the point where for almost all of them it's their natural handwriting, just like Bruce.

This usually isn't an issue... Except for that time when, early in his crimelord career, Jason sent a threatening note reading--

I will find you 🩷✨

--to a gang leader in his territory, which... Didn't have its intended effect. He used magazine cutouts to write his threatening notes from then on.