#Remember selfcare

[astrogirlythings]

Truth be told.

[a-cakehound-or-critter-a-day]

8/16/2024 furball pup going "bwuh???"

[nevergonnasimpyoumikey]

I finally finished this ficlet after like two years, and all it took was one anon showing interest in it. Readers, you will never know how important you guys are.

That being said, when I started writing and editing it I wanted to completely switch the POV and so this became more about Amanda and Townley family angst, which is actually good because I still know nothingggggggg about football and I live for the bittersweetness of them.

***

When her husband came home after spending almost two weeks on a job, Amanda couldn’t help hating him just a bit.

He looked well-rested, which immediately made her jealous, but it also meant the job had at least gone well. If it hadn’t, he wouldn’t be scooping Jimmy up from the playmat with such ease and a big grin. He was much more subdued when they didn’t make much, as if he was holding back all emotions just in case he’d let out anything negative. 

But now he didn’t even greet her first, and fine, she realized she wasn’t exactly appealing in her dirty t-shirt and unwashed hair, or easily approachable with her arms crossed over her chest, and it was good to see Michael being so close with Jimmy, but she still would have liked some indication that Michael had missed her as much as she had missed him. 

“Hey, little guy,” he laughed, and the boy tried to grab his nose and hair excitedly. Michael didn’t evade the tiny hands, only closed his eyes to protect them from being poked. “Where’s your sister?”

“Taking a nap,” Amanda answered flatly, and then — even though she could have stayed quiet to maintain peace — continued, “You know what she asked last night?

“What?” 

“Why isn’t daddy here.”

Michael opened his eyes, looking at her, more serious now, as he lowered Jimmy a bit on his arms. “What did you tell her?” 

Amanda huffed a bit defeatedly. “That sometimes adults have to go far away for work. And that you’d be back soon.”

He was quiet but at least met her gaze; there was a flash of something dark in them, but it was gone before she could probably read it. “That was a good answer,” he eventually said amicably enough.

She knew it was. She was the one doing all the actual parenting here. Anger brought a few tears into her eyes, but she quickly batted them away. She never wanted to fight or cry in front of the kids. She just wanted her husband back. “Do you really think you can have it both? Us and the life?” she whispered. 

Michael looked regretful, taking a step closer, and she tensed up. Here would come the sweet talk and the excuses. “Baby, don’t cry. I’ll quit when I have enough to support you all. It’s not like I enjoy being away from you and the kids. I have to do this.”

She knew it would be a long, long time before Michael would think they had enough. Sometimes she thought that maybe he would never stop, that she would be stuck in this trailer taking care of the kids alone until they moved out. 

She stepped back and shook her head to let him know he wasn’t welcome near her, not right now. “I’ll go take a shower,” she announced to get away, and Michael didn’t tell her to stay and talk it out. Both already knew they would fight at night when the kids were sleeping. 

Through the sound of the water, she heard Tracey waking up and squealing excitedly when she realized Michael was home, although she couldn’t quite make out what they were talking about. She shut the voices out and decided to take some time for herself for this once. Michael could manage for an hour or so after what she did for the family every day. She washed her hair thoroughly and slowly, massaging the scalp to relax; she shaved for the first time in weeks, filed her nails and trimmed the toenails, put on creams and lotions, dried her hair and styled it nicely, and when she was done, she felt more like herself again instead of just a mom, even though that thought made her feel bad because she liked being a mom. It was just hard not to lose herself in the role.

When she joined her family, dressed in clean, comfortable clothes, she had to pause for a bit to take it in. 

Michael was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, holding Jimmy, while Tracey was sprawled on it. There was a football match playing on the television, and even though Tracey didn’t seem terribly interested in it, she still listened much more intently than Jimmy was capable of when Michael explained the game to him.

“That’s the quarterback. He’s the star of the game, the leader. That’s what your daddy did when he was playing,” Michael murmured with a grin, and he looked so delighted that Amanda felt all the anger melting away. “Maybe one day you’ll be a QB too, kid.” 

When she approached, he looked up, his smile soft, and even though she knew the feeling of comfort was deceiving when she sat down with them, a few good days would be enough to keep her going for a while longer. 

"I wrote a scene based on this with Michael and Jimmy 🥺"

Erm where is it????

In the google doc where I have over 200 short scenes or prompts for fics that I'll never have time to properly do... :DD The scene is still unfinished because I have no idea how football works and I was too lazy to find out when I wrote it, but I'll try to finish it and post it! :"D

[porcelana-r0ta]

Oh you're sad that your favorite character is dead???? Well none of my faves are dead bc I have been living in denial (reading fanfic) since 2011. Y'all stay safe tho

[caffeinatedenough]

I have fought so hard for my peace, that maintaining it is more important than being liked.

[technologyvoid]

Morning!

How's you?

Awake 👍 I do not want to be

[damngoodlookingtokens]

Stop checking if other people's grass is greener than yours. Stay focused on watering yours. You'll only find true peace when you mind your own business and focus on your own growth.

[brilliantlydimwitted]

Stop making yourself so easily available for people who don’t even prioritize you

[urbancryptidwithchronicheadaches]

Took the "How would your favorite horror podcast kill you?" uquiz made by @field-cryptobotanist and...

I truly think I should stop taking these. I mean, it's just a silly quiz right. Right??

Then why does it feel like something poking at me and telling me "You see this. You see this shit? Stop it. Stop it, right now."

Brutal.

[nicebigcuteeraser]

I don’t respect those who don’t respect me. You call it ego; I call it self-respect.

[gingerismsdictionary]

All of the love you have given to the wrong people — it will find its way back to you.

[astrogirlythings]

[knoxprox]

Sometimes you have to get food delivered that is absolutely close enough you could’ve picked it up yourself if it wasn’t your first meal of the day at 4:30 pm because you cycled between napping & dissociating all day instead of eating

[peysbookmims]

Hindi ka sensitive. Hindi ka OA. If it hurts you, it hurts you. Wala kang kailangan iexplain sa kanila. Kapag nasaktan ka, nasaktan ka. Your feelings are valid. Y'all stop calling someone sensitive and OA for not tolerating disrespect, for being hurt after being ignored, for being shouted at, for criying because you let them overthink. We have different levels of sensitivity. Never invalidate someone's feelings.

[icelogged]

*true crime podcaster voice* happy pride everyone ! to celebrate pride this month we’re going cover graphic hate crimes ! #pride #loveislove

[caffeinatedenough]

Self-control is strength. Calmness is mastery. You have to get to a point where your mood doesn’t shift based on the insignificant actions of someone else. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.