porcelana-r0ta

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do you ever see something and just. get hit with the most visceral and distilled emotions over the nature of humanity

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remember when black friday deals were so good that we would kill each other about it

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satisfying

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"love is what makes us human" actually it's 'select all images with boat' but go off I guess

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oh ok

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RULE NO. 1 OF WOUND CARE: ignore itttt :33

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The start Sadly can't have ghost fun without dying 😢 RIP Stanley

2 seconds before

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my arguments for “no one recognizes Clark Kent as Superman”

1) Tony Hawk’s existence

2) Timothee Chalamet showing up at that lookalike contest and not even looking the most like himself

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reading the collected letters of shirley jackson and this is from a letter to her agent while she was working on the haunting of hill house

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if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

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It never fails to amuse me when I get “hello influencer” emails wanting me to push questionable products to my followers.

Like worstie, I can barely promote my own published book without wanting to curl up and die.

The fuck makes you think I’ll shill your discount wish shit?

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Wicked is a musical based on a book based on a musical based on a movie based on a book.

THE WORLD’S MOST SUCCESSFUL FANFICTION