#Reasoning and logic is important when it comes to orders

[gazspookiebear]

Hello, my darling mutual! It's that time of the day where i pester you about Anchor again! I hope you don't mind me being silly on main and annoying you ＼(￣▽￣)／

How are you doing? Are you doing well? I saw that your stomach wasn't doing too good yesterday, are you better now :< I hope so! If not, then I'm wishing you lots and lots of comfort, warm blankets, and tea!!

So here goes!

What good/bad traits do they bring out in others?

What would be their reason for causing a scene in public?

What qualities do they look for or value in a friend?

Hiii!!!! You're never annoying me, I'm so excited to talk about Anchor!! My stomach is fine luckily, I just gotta stop eating so much at once T-T

When they're with others, it tends to make people more vigilant. That can be both good and bad. They make people more aware of their surroundings, but it also tends to put people on edge. They try to bring out the kindness in others demonstrating compassion at every turn.

They might cause a scene if someone is attempting to convince the people they work with to do something that would put them in immediate danger. They would also stand up for someone in public if a civilian or innocent animal was being threatened.

Some qualities they look for and value in friends would be honesty, loyalty, and empathy/compassion

[nothorses]

This is a genuine ask and I hope it doesn't come off as rude, obviously people can do whatever they want forever, but what is the logic behind a lesbian dating a transgender man? (By lesbian I mean someone who is only attracted to women), wouldn't that exclude binary trans men then since trans men are men? Or is it like "Trans men can be lesbians because they have vaginas" which just feels like bioessentialism with progressive wording...

I think the core misunderstanding here might be in your use of the word "logic". And there's a super high chance I'm extrapolating more intention than you put into that word choice, but hear me out.

On a super basic level, I think it's important to understand the reasons people use words like "lesbian" and "trans man" in the first place. In certain contexts, it makes sense to assign these terms more rigid definitions: a study would likely have a single, clear definition for those words in order to talk about some research results. An academic essay might need a shared definition if they're talking about broad trends and systemic issues.

But when we're talking about an individual's choice of identity labels- the words they use to describe their own personal experiences and relationship to gender and orientation- it doesn't make as much sense to apply someone else's definition of those words to that individual's use of them. They're trying to describe their own internal world to you; what matters in that conversation is how they understand the words they use, and why they chose them.

Don't get me wrong: common understandings of a word can play a part in that conversation! My understanding of what "gay trans man" means has been shaped almost entirely by other people. I chose those words for myself because of what I think most people will understand them to mean. In twenty years, it's possible that the common understandings of those words could change, and I might use different words to better communicate the same internal experience.

But I also might not. I might decide that my personal connection to those words is more important to me, or even that saying I'm a "gay trans man", as a person 20 years older than I am now, better reflects my internal experience as one that was shaped by the time I came to understand myself in. Maybe it'll be important to me to communicate that I understand myself as a "gay trans man" because of what those words meant 20 years ago. Maybe it'll be important to me to ask tomorrow's queer people to learn about my context, and my story, in order to really understand me.

And maybe, when I fill out a survey for a queer study in 20 years, I'll read the definitions they use for all of these identity labels and categorize myself accordingly, even though I don't personally identify with those definitions or words.

So yeah, I could talk about all the reasons someone might identify as a "lesbian" and still be attracted to trans men. I could talk about trans men who still call themselves "lesbians" because of what the words meant 20 or 40 years ago, or some unique definition they heard in one place and decided they liked enough to keep, even though nobody else has even heard it. I could talk about lesbians whose partners turn out to be trans men, and who still feel attracted to them afterwards; whose partners are okay with, or even feel validated by, their lesbian partners still calling themselves "lesbians". I could talk about nonbinary trans men, and bigender or multigender trans men, who are women and/or lesbians as much as they are trans men. I could talk about bi and pan lesbians, who may find themselves attracted to one trans man or a handful of men- trans and cis both- but otherwise mostly experience attraction to women.

But like, the point shouldn't be to find a good enough reason to justify it. The point isn't the "logic". The point is to understand that everyone's internal experience is fundamentally different from yours, and to be curious about each individual.

It's great that you asked this question in sincerity, but I'm the wrong person to be asking.

When someone says they're a lesbian who's attracted to trans men, they're trying to share something about themselves with you! That is a precious, unique thing you are being entrusted with. Get curious! Ask them what those words mean to them, and take the opportunity to get to know them better. Learn their story! Connect!

I can't tell you that person's story any more than you can guess it on your own, no matter how much you try to logic it out. That's exciting! The world is big, and it's full of unique stories and perspectives you couldn't even dream of inventing! That's so much better than a logic puzzle, don't you think?

[biteofcherry]

Certain perks

Alpha!Ari Levinson x omega female reader; shifter!Ari Levinson x shifter!reader

summary: You're a rather reasonable, logical kind of person. You're very understanding, too. But there's a particular part of you that's not understanding. No, she's demanding.

This is part of the Bad Moon Rising universe.

warnings: shifters; wolves; Reader isn't really a brat, but this one time she is; brat taming; primal kink; exhibitionism; dirty talk; unprotected sex; everything is consensual

Author's Note: So I was feeling bratty recently and let you pick up a big hunk to poke. You voted for Alpha Ari, so here you go 🤭

Bad Moon Rising Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Reason was one of the qualities Ari admired about you, from the very moment he met you. While your initial resistance forced him to be more pushy, once the mating was finalized your relationship progressed in a rather mature way. 

Including blunt communication instead of silent games and demands of your mind being read. 

Which is why there’s no other explanation than your pregnancy hormones being to blame when you find yourself sneaking behind your Alpha’s back, with the intention of purposely provoking him and acting out. 

You’ve never done that before. 

Sure, you would run away from him, but that was the part of the primal foreplay. Ari loved the chase and so did you. Especially the part where he caught and pinned you down. But you never disobeyed your mate so outwardly. 

You were the pack’s Alpha’s mate and it was important that you posed a united front. Even if you had your insight, you always left it to talk over privately with Ari, never undermining his status in front of others. 

When it came to your relationship, you preferred to keep things between you two, without making a public scene of any kind.

Which was about to change. 

In the past two weeks the lives of your pack were a little crazy, after a massive flooding ruined a few houses. Everyone was safe, thankfully, but the race to rebuild housing before winter approaches was keeping everyone up. 

You were proud of Ari, who as the Alpha always appeared first and left last from the construction site. You were busy juggling your classes, work and duties, as well. So there really was no time for private moments. Which you understood. 

Come December, it would all settle down. Once everyone had their own roof over their heads and a fireplace to sit beside, you and your mate would get to catch up for all that time.

So yes, your heart and your head knew that it was simply a short period of more distance. Ari still kept you tight in his arms when he slipped into bed in the late hours. You sensed him kiss your temple before he got out of bed, before the sun fully rose on the horizon. You felt his care when you padded downstairs and found breakfast already prepared for you, while your mate was already out fulfilling his duties.

Unfortunately, your hormone driven pussy did not get the importance of the situation.

No, that animal side of you was ruled directly by your wolf and that bitch wanted to get laid. 

She was immensely irritated that she hasn’t been woken up with Ari’s mouth for the past weeks; or stretched and filled to exhaustion. 

And it was because of that horny part of you that you disobeyed Ari’s order for the first time. 

You couldn’t believe yourself as you went to the construction site, with the intent of working, not just bringing food. Ari was clear in his decision to delegate work, including you in soft type of help in the center of the town - helping gathering and sorting supplies, overseeing what else would be needed, talking to your pack to assess who needed extra help, but was too proud to ask for it. 

Which was important and you gladly did it. 

Until your hormones decided to go to a place which was in a sense quite dangerous to be at when you’re pregnant and not even skilled in the construction department. 

Workers greeted you with smiles, which faltered when you announced you came to help hands on. Their laugh was unsure and worried, when you joked you can simply hammer in nails. But none of them dared to tell you no. Especially, since you knew how to reasonably sell your dedication and promise to be very careful. 

Ari, who was on constant move from one important task to the other, wasn’t yet back at the site. But he would soon and you both dreaded and couldn’t wait for it. 

You were intently listening to Hal’s instructions when Ari’s truck parked among the other cars a few yards away. Given the way he slammed the door as he jumped out of the car, he’s been informed of your presence. 

While your mate was a reasonable leader, who listened to advice and viewed all evidence before making decisions, he was also a very primal creature. Instincts drove him first. His wolf was so close to the surface all the time, sometimes his voice bore the hints of the real wild animal’s growl. 

Your heart rate quickened; pulse arrowing straight to your core. Oh yeah, Ari was pissed, but your horny wolf saw his prowl as the most exciting news. 

“Omega,” Ari’s low rumble rolled over your sensitive skin, teasing your nipples into stiffened peaks. 

You’ve missed this. That wild, possessive side of him.

Which seemed unreasonable to your human side, but fed your feral hindbrain. 

It was quite interesting to realize that when you thought your heat state to be the most feral phase, it turned out that being pregnant would prove to be an even worse needy craze. 

“Yes?” You asked innocently, though you gulped anticipating Ari’s next move. 

Ari didn’t offer to carry the conversation in front of everyone, even if they all busied themselves with work and suddenly worked twice faster. His arm shot toward you, fingers gripping the back of your neck. Instinctively, you bowed your head slightly, then followed him as he led you away from the construction site. 

Out on the makeshift parking lot, Ari pressed you against the side of his truck, caging you against it. 

“Care to tell me, why did you find yourself in the second place I specifically told you to better stay away from?” The first one being the lower part of the town, on the outskirts, where flooding left the most damage. 

“I thought it was only a suggestion that I stay away from it,” you shrugged, but you knew it was like sharpening another nail for your own coffin. 

Ari’s eyes flashed something dangerous - a reflection of the wolf that was seconds away from shredding its prey. His grip on your nape tightened as he bared his teeth in a snarl. 

That was the moment to give up and just confess, to placate him and maybe even win yourself some cooing. But your wolf was having too much fun finally getting that raw kind of attention she’s been missing for two weeks. 

“I hoped to help out, so that the work progresses faster and my mate is relieved enough to come back home.” 

“I’m home every night.” Ari’s eyebrows draw in a frown.

“To sleep!” You snapped. “The pack’s Alpha duties are very important, yes. But you are also a mate now. You have other duties, too.”

You didn’t think you look as feral as Ari does when he’s buzzing with that need, or maybe you thought so because you never watched yourself in that state. So perhaps it was your words that clear it up for him, or maybe he saw it in you. 

A split of a second and Ari pushed forward, really pressing you into the side of the truck. His grip relocated, fingers curled around the front of your neck. His thumb and index finger pressing hard right under your jawline to tilt your face up. His knee wedged between your legs and the hot mass of him suffocated you.

“Is my Omega’s pussy missing her Alpha’s cock?” He teased, running his other hand along your side. “Not satisfied that your womb is already growing with my seed, she’s always needy for more, huh?” 

“Ari-” you nearly whined, feeling your body eagerly responding to him. 

“Then present for me, Omega.” He commanded, taking half a step back. 

“Here?” You stared at him, half bewildered and half excited. 

Exhibitionism was a part of your lives, given all the shifting back and forth into your animal and human form. The mating ceremony sex was one thing, but it’s not so unusual for a shifter’s couple to fuck in the middle of the forest where others could spot them. 

But this was a higher level, to present for your Alpha and have him fill you in the middle of a parking lot, where one third of your pack was working not so far away from. With the way Ari’s truck was parked, you wouldn’t be fully covered either, meaning someone could get a peek. 

“My duties are important to me. All of them,” Ari replied. “I feel obligated to mend my mistakes instantly. So-” he squeezed your jaw and pushed you toward the hood of his car- “present for me, Omega. Now!” 

You bent over the hood, pressing your cheek to the warm metal. With trembling fingers, you reached to unbutton your pants and pushed them down along with your underwear. The cotton of your panties peeled away from your folds with certain resistance, the fabric sticking to your already wet pussy. 

Ari kicked your feet wider apart. Then stepped on the clothes stretched between your legs, pushing them further down with his boot clad foot. 

His hand pressed on the small of your back as he hissed “Tilt your ass up.” 

You obeyed, keening quietly. 

“Good girl,” Ari’s praise was like a soft caress amidst all that rough rush. 

You heard the jangle of a belt buckle, a swish of a zipper being lowered, then that familiar low groan of pleasure when your mate fisted his cock. 

You covered your mouth with your own hand to muffle the cry of pleasure when he finally thrust into you. A full body tremble rocked you as his cock stretched your pussy. It wasn’t only that physical need being satisfied at last, but a deeper connection which you didn’t even suspect you were missing. 

When Ari took you, it was more than conquering your body. It was a reminder that he owned you, as you owned him. 

Never before had you thought that the feeling of being owned, in that most primal way, was actually so damn fulfilling and emotional. 

Your walls fluttered around his cock, your hips eagerly moving back to meet Ari’s thrusts. Sweaty palms slid along the hood, grasping for any sort of purchase. When Ari grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head to the side, your fingers curled and your nails scratched the shiny lacquer. 

You came with a lewd moan as Ari sunk his teeth into the crook of your neck. Your cunt clenched around him, clit pulsing where it pressed against the car while Ari kept fucking into you in harsh jabs. 

He held you still, breaking your delicate skin until blood trickled while he spilled his hot seed inside of you. 

Your breath was still raggedy when Ari pulled out a few moments later. Excess of your cum dribbled out of you, a few drops splashing on your dirtied clothes. 

“Get in the car, Omega.” Ari gently helped you up from your position. “Don’t you dare clean yourself,” he added in a growl. 

Your wolf was more than placated and your human form was more than tired and dizzy from the rough quickie, so you did as asked without a single thought of protest. It was actually quite nice to sink into the soft, warm seat and breath in the interior that was soaked with your Alpha’s scent. 

You watched Ari as he joined the construction crew and exchanged a few words. With a final nod and clasping Hal’s hand, he turned around and returned to you in long strides. Ride back to your house was quiet, but there was no sense of tension in the air anymore. 

Though Ari’s foot on the gas pedal sure was heavy, accelerating your route at an almost dangerous speed.

It was when you were nearing your neighborhood that Ari slowed down. A lot. He put the car into a pace of a slow stroll, holding one hand on the steering wheel. With his other hand he unzipped his jeans. Then unbuckled your seatbelt. 

His hand touched the back of your head.

“Get your mouth on my cock, Omega. Get me ready to knot you.” 

You really valued your reasonable approach, but perhaps there were certain perks to acting like a brat from time to time. 

[fishnapple]

Things you can do to be more confident in yourself.

It's a full moon tonight, our confidence can also wax and wane like the moon. So let it also be full tonight. This reading will assist you in understanding how to build a relationship with yourself based on trust and compassion.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

1. Clear quartz

There's something that you should accept. That is, we can never hide from people's eyes and their judgement. Putting ourselves out there for others to see is a brave act. It can sometimes feel like being put under the mercy of others. But daring to show the love we have for ourselves is even a braver act.

Starting from the inside, the root, the part that you feel the most childish and vulnerable inside you, hold it gently and protect it, do little things that make it comfortable and feel loved. Like decorating the place you're living in. Surround your home with beauty and comfort, especially the place where you sleep. A soft pillow for tired and hardened thoughts to rest on.

If you have a desire to be recognised and applauded for your achievement and your individuality. Don't ever feel shame for desiring those. Some people will call that vain, but even the feat of living and existing is worth recognising and celebrating. Be honest with your desires and put in the effort to achieve them. As long as those desires don't harm anyone, there is no reason to deny and feel shame about those.

You seem to have a very creative energy, but that creativity is stifled by the focus on security and practicality. Before you create something, you may consider will this bring you any material merit, will it make a profit, will it have a practical use in your life. In doing so, your creative flow can't flow freely. Who knows, maybe the thing you created might not have a practical use or bring you any material gain, but through the act of creating, you can connect more with your deeper self and discover your inner wealth, not everything has to have a solid, physical and logical meaning, emotional and spiritual meaning are just as important. And by doing that, more opportunities for your growth will be presented to you. So the next time you find yourself wanting to do something that you think or other people think is silly and a waste of time, give yourself a chance to experience first, you can always judge it later.

2. Citrine

I sense that some of you in this group feel stifled in your expression of love and desire. There are pressure and expectations coming in from society and your peers about what is right, what should be done concerning love, relationships and sexuality. Being truly you could mean going against a certain society's standards and expectations. There could be a struggle of whether to conform or to rebel.

Relationships would feel limiting and demanding to you. You would feel like you have to sacrifice your freedom and a part of yourself in order to keep the relationship going smoothly. It's a big compromise.

Every relationship needs compromise but you may not realise that in some communities, some people demand more of that compromise than the others simply because your values are not matching with each other. Maybe you just haven't found your crowd yet.

Community and friendships play a big part in helping you shape your own world view and your sense of self. So you should consider these questions regarding the people you're surrounding or will surround yourself with.

Do they bring a sense of comfort to you?

Do you feel nurtured by them?

Do you have the desire to nurture and comfort them?

What can you learn from each other?

Do you feel joy when talking with each other?

Do you truly want each other to move forward?

Can you imagine them being in your life in your future and vice versa, you in theirs?

If you can answer these kinds of questions with a positive answer then naturally the pressure will feel less pressuring, the demands will feel less demanding. Instead acceptance and freedom will be more present.

Another thing that can help you build more trust and confidence in yourself is learning. Learning more about life and yourself. Maybe the stifling and suffocating feeling, the anxiety, comes from the lack of space in your inner self. If our space is small, it's just a matter of time before the place is cramped, everything is pressed against each other. Learning helps expand your capacity to hold enough space for each experience and thought, feeling and a little spare space to reach out to the future.

3. Rose quartz

Usually, when I see a specific formation or combination of crystals together, I interpret them as a message to expand your life, go out into the world, be brave, express yourself, etc. When I first saw your group's layout, I also interpreted it like that. But on a closer look, the message was the opposite.

Sometimes we don't have to do any grand gestures or make some big changes, achieve something significant to feel more confident in ourselves. It's the small actions in our everyday life, those little wishes and small joys, the peaceful feeling when we're home that can ground us the most.

With this group, the messages for you would be to leave out those big dreams, those spinning thoughts and those faraway ideals for a moment, and just focus on the mundane, daily life in front of you.

If you have the tendency to stay in your head for too long or to imagine and dream about the what-ifs, then there's something you can do to ground yourself more, to anchor yourself.

There's an emphasis on the small acts, careful and slow, little by little. 

Organising and doing something repetitive can actually help you to build a more concrete result. If you want to do something new or something that you're not sure of your capability. Start practicing in small steps and routinely. If you have a vision and that vision may look too faraway, be in a myopic mode, look at what's in front of you and what you can do with them first, but not forgetting the vision of course, just let them take the back seat for a while.Break down steps that you find too big to leap. In the process, you will find that many things are doable right away and that can help you feel more confident in yourself.

You don't have to show yourself in the process. Being visible to other people can be considered brave and confident, but sometimes it can be a careless act onto ourselves. We open ourselves to the judgment and influences of other people while not fully aware that some part of ours just prefers to stay hidden, in a quiet, peaceful place to do its own things. Like a production chain, having people visiting can have a positive effect of gaining encouragement and understanding, but too many people and too often can obstruct the production, unknowingly bringing in hidden trouble factors. A place like that should best be left to the operators and the professionals that know it best, and they are you.

4. Flourite

I believe that there are some messages that are meant to be delivered to people, by you. Something that you can do for other people. In a way, doing things for other people, helping them can actually help you ground yourself more.

Maybe you have reached a certain degree of being comfortable with yourself, knowing how to take care of yourself. But I sense a protective feeling, like self-protection, but a little too much, sometimes to the point of building a wall surrounding yourself. That could make it hard to open yourself up and be more vulnerable when dealing with others. You have your peace, you don't want other people or outside factors to come in and disturb it. But this could create isolation and the feeling of being apart from everyone else.

The inside has been well taken care of, maybe it's time to step outside and help others too. To nurture your relationships with the same love that you have for yourself. To share your experiences and knowledge. You could be a strong pillar for others to look up to. Even when you think your foundation is shaking. What you can do is to look forward, there's always something that you can share and bring into this world and one way or another, it will help somebody, even without your awareness.

I think some people could find you a little intimidating or hard to get close to. But with closer interaction, they can learn a lot from you.

There could be some anger or unspoken thoughts hidden inside you that are fighting to be out. They can create hurtful words that are hurled at other people and yourself.

Being able to face those calmly and channelling them through a healthy route, like writing in a journal, for example, will bring you more awareness and resilience, in turn, helping you to be more sure and stable in yourself. 

[anantaru]

— yandere honkai star rail boys

including blade, jing yuan, luocha, sampo x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — yandere, angsty, toxic, manipulation

— blade

yandere! blade, who won't ever leave your side in the early stages of your relationship, but the smoldering question, the raging reason as to why was deeply purled in an ulterior, much scarier motive.

it's not because of him owning possessive traits, well, he sure did but the motivation behind gracefully aiding you in everything you may require, always showing up to your doorstep whenever you wanted him to with that big, delicate smile on his handsome face and blessing you with sweet gifts of all kind, his reasoning was contrasting.

at any rate, blade can continuously see that you're slowly but surely getting accustomed to him, that you tend to find some sort of unrecognizable comfort and notable security in his calculated antics.

submit to him, to your fate, you do not have to do anything on your own again.

the voice in your head wasn't your own, it was blade's voice, bright, stern and utterly dominating. it's in your head but it wasn't you talking, or was it? it couldn't be.

when you come to terms with it, step by step, you are quick to notice that something changed because blade backs away all of a sudden, without somewhat announcing nor explaining himself.

you try to reach him, desperately, but you're being ignored, no answer, no message or a call being returned. proceeding, you attempt to idly greet him the very moment you see blade suddenly walk past you on a random evening, while at last, being ignored yet again.

the main impetus of his motives, what could it be? fine, to say it without beating around the bush, it's that blade will try anything in his power to make you the obsessed one.

— jing yuan

yandere! jing yuan who was using one noteworthy strategy to ploddingly drive you into his undying arms, so you weren't able to leave nor would you want to leave in the first place.

the golden eyed will make you feel like you're the most special, alluring, stunning individual he had ever laid his eyes on. most of all, will he turn everything around and act like you're in control of the relationship between you both.

hold on a second, it doesn‘t stop there.

for all intents and purposes has the capable and gifted general easily figured out that by giving you any form of large control, an illusion of indurated authority, he can covertly infiltrate that sweet head of yours to deviously influence and manipulate you how he sees fit.

following this pursue of action, you do not realize what you have gotten yourself into by the time it was too late.

for your own pair of thinking— to you it would seem like you are making important choices and solutions, yet not fathoming that in practice it was jing yuan who would put the hand picked ideas into your thoughts with subtle hints and little traces, you barely notice it.

you would end up doing whatever he wants and he smiles, kissing your lips and thanking you for taking such good care of him.

logically thinking, he does it because he wants you to become attached to him, he cannot possibly live a life without you, it's futile— you're the person he fell in love with, he couldn't imagine you walking away now.

— luocha

yandere! luocha, who, on the far side of the color of his innocent-looking, scintillating eyes, will be a crazy skilled liar who will look at you so sweetly that you cannot even process the mere possibility of something going wrong.

at the outset, he was agreeing and relating to everything you were saying or proclaiming, yet keep in mind, he puts it in a way that wasn't overbearing nor appearing as untrue— luocha knew what to say in order for it to come off as his opinion as well, as an oh so little coincidence that the two of you had so many things in common.

almost like you're made for each other, or, almost as if someone was trying to make it materialize as this.

again, you can envision him as a chameleon— following your first dates, he notices that he is wholly obsessed, it's the way you communicated, the small traits you possessed or how you'd slowly avert your eyes whenever he'd try to hold gazes.

luocha looks at you and visualizes a mirror standing in front of him.

for what reason you might wonder, let me break it to you; he needs you to be exceedingly trusting and unquestioning towards him, whatever he says, you wouldn't quiz it.

slowly, deep, decelerated steps, one by one so you wouldn't notice, luocha will gather all the information he had about you, favorite food, most dearest hobby, your habits, your views on life and the future, all written and memorized in his brain until he turns them into his own traits, characteristics of himself— because, ultimately, he was always a step ahead of you, easily lying through his gritted teeth without even realizing it himself sometimes ..

.. yet never letting go of the unfaltering control he now had acquired.

— sampo

yandere! sampo, who on the outside appeared to be rather bubbly and harmless, yet on the inside was excessively skilled in keeping you within his mind altering reach.

because love was scary, or so he thought and sought to point it out, it’s basically handing over a map of all your flaws and imperfections while putting faith in your partner to not abuse that power. 

in advance of your relationship, the man had already gained your abiding trust out of the clear blue sky— lets take this into consideration, whenever you encountered a problem, dear sampo was here to solve it almost immediately, without even trying his utmost hardest.

how come he had a solution to everything you needed, he truly was wonderful, or wasn't he?

and his extraordinary inducements of special care, how he made sure that you were contented and pleased in your life, all while in reality remaining unnoticed in the cruel darkness, as the very cause of those problems you have encountered.

it's quite silly he thinks, how creative he was, again using negative rumors to pull you into a corner, or stealing work utensils and important materials you needed, silently orchestrating a various square of people who will look down on you.

until at the very last, sampo proudly positions himself just right in your life, quite heroic indeed, and placing a fake security on top of your person ..

.. so you wouldn't have to worry about anything in life anymore and fully attach yourself to him.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[waiting-for-a-sunny-day]

If Geto and Gojo were so close, why didn't Geto try to convince Gojo to defect with him?

Because Geto knew that Gojo’s support would guarantee his success, but that success would come at the cost of hurting Gojo.

I believe that Geto cared more about protecting Gojo than he cared about building a better world.

..

Let me explain…

First, let’s talk about why it would’ve made sense for Geto to ask Gojo to join him:

(1) Gojo would’ve been Geto’s most important / most powerful ally

By the time of Geto’s defection, Gojo is already the strongest sorcerer in existence. He and Geto are two of only three special grade sorcerers. Having them both on the same side is essentially an automatic win.

(2) Gojo should’ve been (relatively) easy to persuade

Gojo had already told Geto that he didn't like having to save the weak and didn't care about the moral justifications for it…

…Geto has also seen that Gojo doesn’t always value / protect human life. He was ready to massacre the Time Vessel Association without reason, but ultimately he didn't, because he deferred to Geto's judgement…

…and, most importantly, they are best friends on a DEEP, unparalleled level. Geto is Gojo’s “one and only” best friend.

If Geto was truly dedicated to changing the world order, Gojo should’ve been the first and most important person that he tried to recruit to his insurgency / cult / mission.

BUT

Not only does Geto make zero effort to reach out to / recruit Gojo, he actively avoids him and pushes him away...

- - - - - Keep reading cut - - - - -

After he kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Geto runs into Shoko in Shinjuku. He happily approaches her and willingly answers her questions.

Look at his smiling face in their interactions:

But, when Shoko calls Gojo, Geto leaves before Gojo shows up. Gojo tracks him down anyway and demands an explanation. Geto still doesn’t want to talk about it (“You already heard it.”)

It's strange, right? Geto loves talking about his vision of a better world with everyone else.

Then, there is this confusing progression of dialog:

Geto is hurt/annoyed that Gojo doesn’t believe in him, so he points out that Gojo’s argument against his plan is invalid. The plan is possible (“You could do it”), therefore (according to Gojo’s own logic) it’s not “pointless.”

In a way, Geto is admitting that he knows it would make the most sense for Gojo to join him.

But before Gojo can respond, Geto pivots to saying something extremely hurtful. He's questioning who Gojo is / would be if he wasn't the strongest. Is there really anything more to him? (See more detail in my post here).

Then, in the very next panel Geto turns and starts walking away.

In summary: (1) Geto avoids Gojo, (2) Geto only argues in favor of his plan when Gojo forces/baits him, (3) Upon invalidating Gojo’s opposition to his plan, Geto immediately puts emotional distance between them, (4) Geto then puts physical distance between them.

Why is Geto trying so hard to make sure that Gojo won’t follow him?

Is he just being prideful about doing this on his own? Is he so angry at Gojo's arrogance that he'd jeopardize the success of his life's mission over it?

These arguments aren't in line with Geto's characterization / known motivations (see the end of this post, if you're interested in more on that.)

Geto's main motivation is (a twisted form of) compassion. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers.

He is a thoughtful, contemplative person, and would've thought about the ramifications of recruiting Gojo.

What are the ramifications?

If Gojo joins the cause, Geto’s plan would succeed, but Gojo would suffer for it.

Like anyone who joins Geto's cult, Gojo would become a pariah / fugitive from Jujutsu society. He’d kill people. He’d kill other sorcerers.

But because Gojo has the singular level of strength/ability to kill non-sorcerers en masse, he would commit the vast majority (or all) of the murder / destruction. The legal, social, and mental impacts would be most severe on Gojo.

(Also, at this point, I think Geto may still question whether he’s made the right choice. It’s difficult to go from a hardline stance on protecting non-sorcerers to wanting to gen0c1de them, within the span of a year, without any lingering ethical qualms. So he may be worried about moral costs to Gojo as well.)

Let’s remember that Geto (canonically) deeply loves Gojo. Gojo is his one and only best friend. Geto worries about Gojo when he overworks himself protecting Riko. Geto is shocked when Toji kills Riko in front of him, but he only flies into a rage when he thinks Toji has killed Gojo. (Again, see my post here for more on how much Geto loves Gojo).

So, it makes sense that Geto is ready to make sacrifices to create a better world, but it’s a cost he’s willing to put on his own head. Not Gojo's.

Ultimately, Geto cares more about Gojo than he cares about achieving the mission he has dedicated his life to.

The last thing Geto says to him is this:

What he's really asking Gojo is: "Have you stopped loving me, now that I've committed myself to this dark path? Would you kill me to save them?"

If Gojo hates Geto enough that he’d kill him, then Geto never had a chance of recruiting Gojo in the first place.

Of course, Gojo can’t make himself hurt Geto. He still loves Geto too much.

Geto protected Gojo by pushing him away.

___

Addendum:

I'll also argue against two other possible explanations for Geto's behavior.

(1) Geto is jealous / prideful /wants to build his own legacy without Gojo stealing the spotlight

Geto has clear motivations for his goals and they’re not egotistical. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers caused by non-sorcerers’ existence (e.g., Riko’s death, Mimiko & Nanako’s abuse).

Geto’s pride isn’t hurt when Gojo becomes the strongest. The only thing that bothers Geto is that they’re getting sent on separate missions.

After Gojo becomes stronger that him, Geto still has overt affection for Gojo (e.g., he asks Haibara to bring back sweets from his mission so he can share with Gojo).

Although Geto does believe in his superiority over non-sorcerers, he doesn't feel superior over other sorcerers and doesn't struggle with his 'inferiority' to Gojo.

Does Gojo’s lack of faith in Geto’s ability (calling his goal “impossible”), spur Geto to want to prove himself? Yes, probably. But Geto had already been avoiding Gojo before he said that. And I don’t believe that wanting to prove himself to Gojo would overshadow his stronger motivation to build a better world for sorcerers.

(2) He thinks Gojo actually is too moral to join him

After Geto kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Gojo is shocked and upset by what’s happened, but not once does he insult Geto or imply that Geto has done something unforgivable. In fact, he’s practically begging Geto to explain himself because he wants to be able to justify his actions. And, again, Gojo’s argument against Geto’s plan is NOT that “it’s wrong,” it’s that “it’s impossible.”

[re-colligere]

Unfortunately, yes, I'm here to deliver yet another oc for this thing. Good lird! Design may still change but I like this general idea. I started with the personification of Logic / Reasoning, though I kinda like the idea that she goes by a different name altogether.

I had a lot of starting concepts and I was indecisive on their stature (tall vs. small). I'm leaning towards the smaller body shape 'cause I think it's fun that this important figure would have a hard time making its presence known.

Forgot to mention that the Architect has a base somewhere in the mindscape (the think tank??) where they could properly assess the information their human has collected for the day, as well as monitor the other parts of the mindscape. They prefer order but they understand that chaos is sometimes the easiest way to arrive at a beautiful conclusion. I don't know what that means.

Sorry that these are all so wordy LOL I have a lot of stuff for archie over here. I've transcribed the text on the pictures beneath the cut.

lead designer of the mindscape, figures out the most compatible infrastructure based on the human's personality/style of thinking

though sometimes their designs influence the human as well. looping feedback

mainly runs around on the continent outside HQ

(tries) to lead the other Mind Workers based on her plans

he's also concerned with how the human understands the world around them

…and it tries to keep the human's thoughts tethered to reality…

…and she tries to keep up with the maintenance of the mind…

…AND xe tries to make sure those nincompoops over at HQ don't get carried away with their feelings when it comes to understanding the world.

extremely busy guy. but they like the hustle and bustle. keeps the mind alert.

generally neutral towards the emotions, but the different perspectives drive Archie up the wall.

still, he understands their purpose…he just wishes they would listen to his voice now and then.

thinks a little too highly of herself

his work gets snubbed constantly though. someone's gotta keep up his morale and it might as well be himself

loves to watch brain storms in their downtime (and picks off the stupidest ideas. for safety)

it travels fast. hard to tell how it pulls that off

[Design Notes]

white glasses to see clearly & without bias (…is what she says)

shades of grey

largely angular, with the curves mostly being on the head

shortstack

patterns are drawn by them (usually plans, flowcharts, math equations, grocery list, etc)

freckles have a specific, unchanging arrangement: right cheek - forms an upright triangle, left cheek - forms a downward triangle

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

Hi Pandora!!! Happy birthday!! 🎉🎉🎉Thank you for deciding to share the celebrations with all of us 😊 You've really got me on a Law kick lately with the Meet Cute, so could I get Law with "I’ve never met anyone as infuriating as you, and I can’t stop thinking about you"? Maybe NSFW with fem!reader?

@froggiewrites Froggie, Froggie, Froggie... your time has come! 😂 First of, thank you so much for the lovely birthday wishes! And now... I had so much fun writing this prompt, I do hope you enjoy it! Thank you for participating! ❤️

Source for Pic

Rulebreaker

Word Count: 3036

Tags: Fem!Reader; Teasing; Edging; Power Dynamics; Fluff Ending; NSFW; MDNI;

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: Law, your captain, is tired of the shenaningans you pull whenever the Heart Pirates land on a new island, so he devises a way for you to follow his rules.

Notes: I couldn't hold on another day. I regret nothing. Though I supose the day will come when I'll leave you guys high and dry (fic-less) for some time 😅 Anyway, this is not that time, so please, enjoy this meal!

|Masterlist|

“For the umpteenth time, Law! I know! Now give me a break!” Logic never has been your forte. Thinking on your feet, damn right! Making hard decisions under stress, bring’em, baby. Endurance, the best at it! But logic? No.

So is it logical to argue with your captain after having disobeyed his orders yet again? Not in the least. And damned if there aren’t more than one reason not to lose your patience with him, way more than one, actually. First, you are in his office, second, he’s your superior, third, he’s your boyfriend. But fourth, and the most important one, there’s no getting away from Law if you make him snap. Literally. He’d shambles you from anywhere. 

Still, despite the violence with which your heart is hammering in your chest, your bravado remains in place, as you hold the stare with which his amber eyes pin you, not even flinching. 

“You know?” His voice is clipped as he leans back in his chair, fingers entwined and resting beneath his chin. Fuck, he’s pissed. “You claim to already know, but as soon as we land on another island, the first thing you do is get into trouble.”

“I don’t go looking for trouble, trouble finds me!” You say, trademark smirk in place before the little voice in your head starts to whisper in your ear. You’re going to regret pissing him off…

“That’s cute.” Is it? Because he’s not even close to being amused. 

“I know, that’s how you found me. You were the trouble, and you were drawn to me.” There. That has to placate some of his anger, right?

He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment as if pondering his next move. Then, he reaches for one drawer of his desk and removes an envelope. Curiosity nips at you while you angle your head, trying to see what he’s holding, but instead of hiding it, Law gets up, hands you the envelope, and walks to the door. 

What the hell? You open it and reach for a piece of folded paper as you hear the distinct click of the door being locked. “Am I supposed to read this?”

“Yes.” Clipped, curt, cold. You really pissed him off. 

The scribbled handwriting is a dead giveaway that this was written by Law, but knowing him for over a year, and being involved for half of it, you’re quite familiar with it by now. The letters on top instantly turn your curious look into a scowl. “Rulebook?” 

Law sits again and smirks softly, a barely-there twitch of the upper lip. “Looks like you need one.” You scoff as you skim the first articles.

“I play by the rules!”

“Really? Then why have I had to mend your slashed leg today? Tell me that.” Your teeth clack together as you close your mouth and nearly growl at him. Your name in his lips sounds like a warning. “It’s an order. Answer it.”

“Because I didn’t obey you.” You manage to sputter the words between your teeth and each of them parting your lips hurts more than the sword cut you received from the marines stationed at the island. 

“Hence the rulebook. It’s not unwarranted. I’ve known you for a year and every time we encounter a new island, you run amok doing your own shit and come back slashed, bruised, cut, or bleeding. I’ve had enough.” You swallow the knot in your throat as Law gets up, circling the desk and leaning on it, right in front of you. “I’ve never met anyone as infuriating as you, and yet, I can’t stop thinking about you. So it’s time you make me stop worrying, before I drive myself insane.”

Aww…You’d actually think that’s a cute thing to say, if it wasn’t for the unhinged glint in Law’s eyes or the way that his smirk makes you tremble in anticipation. 

“You want me to follow this rulebook?” He gives you that annoying ‘what do you think?’ look and you scoff. “There’s like fifteen rules here! I’m not following this!” Your eyes skim the rules again. “Report back every hour? What the hell, Law?”

“You can use a DenDen for that.” He’s enjoying this. You were expecting punishment, but not this kind of punishment, this is unbearable. “I’ll tell you what, sweetheart.” His voice softens as you glare at him through hooded eyes. “I’ll make you a deal.”

What?

“If you read me all the items in that rulebook without stopping, you don’t have to follow it.” What the fuck? Your head cocks to the side as your eyes switch between the paper in your hands and the amused glare of your boyfriend.

“Just like that?”

“With a few more conditions.” He chuckles with that low vibrato in his voice and your knees tremble. 

“Which are?”

“Get up.” When you do, he unzips your boiler suit all the way down, revealing the top you have underneath. “Strip the rest.”

“Is this a kink, Law?” You tease, knowing you don’t mind at all. If reciting the items naked for him is what gets you your freedom, you’re game. So you take everything but your panties because he stops you when you were going to remove them. 

“Perfect.” He says.

“Okay, I’ll start.” You clear your throat and bend your legs to sit when Law’s tutting stops you. “What?”

“Bend over the desk for me, sweetheart.” Bend over? Heat starts to pool at your core because that position over that desk has already given you quite a few orgasms in the past months, and you have excellent muscle memory. 

“Law?”

“It’s up to you. If you don’t read them, you have to follow them.” He pushes off the table as his eyes devour you, inch by inch, making you inhale deeply just to gather your thoughts again. 

“Fine.” Anything to not follow his stupid rules! You bend over his desk, which is conveniently the perfect height to line up your ass with his cock, as proven many times before, and push a few books to the side so you’re leaning on your elbows. You clear your throat again and begin reciting in a sing-song voice. “Rule number one: no wandering off alone! Sure, this one is simple, I usually go out with Ik– mmph, Law!”

Heat rushes to your cheeks as your body snaps with tension. Looking over your shoulder, you see your captain sitting in the chair you were in earlier, with his finger in your clothed cunt. 

“You stopped.” Fuck. “But I’ll give you that one, you weren’t prepared. Start over.” Your breath comes out in ragged gasps as you feel yourself already getting wet at the prospect of all the things Law is going to do to you. It kind of makes you want to throw the rules overboard and just beg him to take you right now.

“Fuck, Law. Okay, here we go: Rule number one: no wandering off alone!” A gasp leaves your lips and you close your eyes for a second as Law’s fingers tease your clit over the panties, the friction of the fabric increasing his touch. “Rule number two: Fuck, Law, like that.” You moan, closing your eyes again as he teases one finger inside the panties to see how wet you are. 

His tuts are unforgiving, and he removes his fingers altogether, earning him a grunt from you. “You stopped again, sweetheart.”

“Law!”

“The deal is: you read them all until the end without stopping, and you don’t have to follow them. Got it?” You groan and shake your head. That’s impossible. If he’s going to torture you  like this, it will be impossible to read the rules. 

“That’s unfair, Law.”

“Okay, then, you’re right. So how about this: you can pause three times during five seconds.” You nod. You can do that. Law’s hand caresses your buttcheeks as he talks, and every single rub makes you tingle.  “Moaning is encouraged, but keep reading. Oh, and when you pause,” Law removes his hands from you, “I pause. Keep that in mind.”

What? Now that’s cruel! You look at the rules again and feel angered. There’s no fucking way you’re going to follow them, you can do this! You can zone out. Let’s go!

“Fine! Okay, we’re doing this. Just know that you’re the infuriating one! Rule number two–”

“No, no, no. From the beginning.” Does this man want you angered or turned on? Because he’s doing both brilliantly. 

“Rule number one: no wandering off alone.” You cry out softly as his hand slaps your ass, leaving the most marvellous burning sensation behind, which he soothes with a caress. “Rule number two: report back every hour. Oh, my God.” You take a deep breath before reading the other one, trying to focus on the words instead of the slow way he’s pulling your pants down your legs and breathing against your cunt.

“Rule number three: no-... no-... my God, Law.” He’s using his tongue! He swipes up from your clit to your hole in a long upwards streak, then probes around the entrance with slow, teasing circles. He inches just the tip of his tongue inside as his hand reaches to brush against your swollen clit. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“One… Two…” His movements stop, and he starts counting the seconds you’re quiet against your cunt, making you shudder. The dry thud of your forehead against the wooden desk should ground you, but it’s impossible when he was working his fingers like that. “Three…Four…” One more second to regain focus, one deep breath to continue. “Five.”

Just as you open your mouth, so does he, tongue reaching inside you, twisting and curling to hit delicious spots as you cry out his name before your muddled brain repeats the same word over and over: read, read, read!

“Rule number three: no unauthorized fucking fights!” An unbridled moan parts your lips as Law switches up and two of his fingers go where his tongue was and his tongue sucks on your clit. “FUCK. Rule number four: ah, Law, ah! No reckless stunts! That was one time! One–... ahhh!” You suck in three deep breaths and punch the table as his fingers curl and his teeth nibble gently, just the way he knows you like.

God, you’re so close. Your legs numb and tense up as heat spreads throughout your veins. The pressure in your abdomen threatens to release at any given moment and you can’t stop right now. 

“Rule number five: don’t stop, Law! Don’t… ah!” You cry out his name as wave upon wave of pleasure washes over you, taking your sanity with it and blurring your vision until tiny white dots are all you can see. Sweat drips from your temples, and your elbows give out as you squeeze your breasts against the table. Your hands find purchase against anything to help you ride this high, and there’s now a book on Law’s desk with very crumpled pages. 

You’re still breathing hard, trying to regain focus when the buzzing in your ears subsides, and you hear Law’s voice again. “Four…” Fuck, fuck, the list! You open your eyes with a deep exhale and focus back on the now crumpled paper, just as Law finishes his count. You’re now down to one more pause. Crap.

“Rule number five: do not interact with suspicious strangers.” You hear Law unbuckling his belt and start to read faster, even though the aftershocks of your orgasm are still making you shudder and gasp. “Rule number six: do not go to bars without me.” Well, that one is warranted. You pretty much fuck everything up when you’re wasted. The zipper, hurry up! “Rule number seven: obey curfew.” 

A lone whimper leaves your lips as you feel Law rubbing the tip of his cock against your slit, up and down, touching your oversensitive clit before teasing your entrance but not entering. You’re going to fail if you don’t hurry. 

“Rule number ei–...” You gasp and cry out the loudest moan yet as Law sheathes himself inside of you, immediately bottoming out. The feeling of fullness, the tip hitting your cervix, and the burn of the stretching is so intense that it takes your breath away for a second. 

“Breathe, sweetheart, I’m giving you this one for free.” He rubs soothing circles on your back and doesn’t move until you relax around him. “Now continue, or I’ll start the break time.”

You heave in a few sharp breaths, already too winded to speak, but you have no other choice. 

“Rule number eight: hmm… ah…” Law pulls back, his hands firmly planted against your hips and you brace yourself for what’s next. “You’re forbidden to act as ba–... ahngh! Fuck! Bait!” He slams into you and the desk skids forward with the force. The pleasure of his thrust and the pain of the desk biting into your hips shoots warmth through your core and down your legs and you focus again on the words in front of you.

On the very blurry words in front of you. Tears of pleasure gather at the corner of your eyes as your mouth hangs open and Law keeps thrusting harder and harder.

“Rule number– just like that, more! Nine: Always carry a, fuck, weapon!” Almost there. Both at the end of the list and on the next wave of bliss that’s already cresting and forming as the coil winds tight in your stomach. 

“Rule–... ngh… rule–” You’re about to break and cry out or tap out, anything. You can’t think about anything other than the pure perfection that is your bodies conjoined. The lewd sounds of his cock filling you and the soft grunts he’s releasing behind you. 

“Go on, love, you got this.” He urges, thrusting even harder. 

But you don’t ‘got this’, at all. Your hair is damp against your forehead, and all that escapes your lips are ragged moans and broken pleas. You’re there, you’re right there. A few more thrusts and you’ll be–...

“One…Two…” He stopped. He fucking stopped! A desperate whine leaves your lips as you wiggle your hips against him because you were just there! “Three…” He won’t move until five or until you start to read again.

This has to be torture for him too!

“Four…” Deep breaths, focus. You can do this, it’s as simple as reading a supermarket list. If you were being railed against the dairy section. Damn. New kink unlocked. “Five…”

“Rule number–...” Where the fuck was I? Blank. There’s nothing there. And then there’s Law and another deep thrust clicking your brain into place. “Rule number ten: fuck me harder, Law!”

He can’t help but chuckle as he reaches forward, his back sprawling over you and you feel the way his sweat clings to your back. “That’s not written there, love, carry on.”

“Don’t leave the ship without permission.” You moan out the rule, but you said it. There are five more rules and one big impediment. You don’t have more timeouts, and your orgasm is approaching fast. There’s no way in hell you’ll be able to read while you're in ecstasy. 

Spit them all out, now.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Rule number eleven: stay out of off-limit areas; rule number twelve: stay inside the sub if you’re hurt.” Intelligible. Everything you’re saying comes out in ragged breaths, gasps, and moans, but you’re reading. And Law ups his game.

He slithers a hand around your waist, lifting your body against him, grabbing your leg and hoisting your knee over the desk. His cock slides deeper with each thrust as he breathes heavily into your ear.

God, you won’t make it. 

“Rule number thirteen: ah… Law… I’m… nghh. Absolutely no secrets.” Two more, just two more rules, but you can feel the coil tightening, almost, almost snapping. The way Law holds your body against his, as sweat drenches both of you, his mouth on the curve of your neck, the way he’s digging his teeth in… it’s too much.

“Rule number fourteen: follow my medical advice.” One more. 

Law’s fingers reach down to press your clit, circling it with expert precision, and his next deep thrust makes you lose it. 

Your release hits you like a truck, and you arch your back, nails digging into Law’s forearm as he expertly works his fingers to squeeze every bit of pleasure out of you. Your cry mingles with his low grunt as he spills his seed inside you, riding his pleasure with a few more ragged thrusts. 

The world is reduced to just the two of you and this moment. Nothing else matters but the way he whispers ‘I love you’ in your ear in a breathless whisper. You nod back at him, too addled, hazed, and tired to give him an adequate response, knowing you’ll do so after a brief moment of reprieve.

Law pulls himself out of you and brings you both into the chair, cradling you against his chest as his fingers caress your hair, and he kisses your nose affectionately. “Are you all right?”

Another nod. Too early to speak yet. 

“You almost did it, love. You had one more rule.” He chuckles, and you laugh along with him. 

“This is an impossible challenge, Law. You’re terrible. But I love you.” You lift the crumpled paper to glimpse at the last rule. “Rule number fifteen: follow the chain of command.” You scoff. “Got it, Captain. I’ll obey every damn, stupid, silly rule. You won.”

You’re not even pissed at him anymore. This was fucking hot. 

“Check the addendum.” You lift your head from his chest to meet his amber gaze in curiosity before looking back at the paper, confused. “Turn it.” He says, so you do.

“Addendum: the following of this rulebook can be challenged at any given time, under the same rules.” A smirk forms on your lips at the implications of the addendum, you can have a repeat of this little game anytime you want. You’ll find a way to beat the rules, eventually. Chuckling, you snuggle back into that cosy spot in the curve of Law’s neck, where your head fits perfectly. “Give me half an hour and we’ll try again.”

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil @eustasscapitankid @ren-ni @jqperi @lycoriskalmia @walmartmihawk

[pix-writes]

for requests. . . how about an x reader where reader pegs Ford 👀? Is he open to the idea?

Oh I think we can arrange such a thing! >:) Hope you enjoy!

Ford x F!Reader | In Theory and in Practice

Notes/tags: Ford and reader have some limited past experiences, but tried to keep it a little vague. That said though, I do allude to them to be both bi/had experiences with someone of the same sex as them. Anal smut, some Dom/sub dynamics and switching.

NSFW 18+ below cut, so MDNI!

The subject comes up from you, the conversations you get into around pleasure with Ford often end up in the logical sphere, starting lightly before anything more heated can arise. It was something to enjoy about your partnership, comforting in the pragmatic and somewhat direct, open way in which Ford spoke about such things. It reduced both of your anxieties and any reservations that you had about bringing up anything that you wanted.

Your partner still got flustered, however, and you were a little tentative in how you brought up this next subject.

"I never got to try it in any of my other relationships with men, some seem to think it's not important to involve the prostate in sex."

"The prostate when stimulated gives men pleasure, so I see no reason why it should not be, um, paid attention to. I certainly haven't had any reservations when I have been on my own, in the past."

"And with others?"

Ford did blush a little at this. "In relationships with other men, yes. And with you."

"Yes, but technically it was you who was doing it, Ford." You paused to take a breath before asking your next question. "What if I did?"

Your partner looked stunned, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I'd never thought about it before?"

You ask him if he ever heard of pegging, he hadn't and you did your best to lay out what it meant, slowly, despite your eagerness at Ford's receptiveness, so far.

"But how would you...?" Was one of his questions and you couldn't help but giggle. You knew he didn't like to be on the backfoot or feel that you were laughing at his expense, but how could you not help but be amused by his perplexed expression, his innocence when it came to the gaps in his knowledge?

"Oh Ford, have I not told you yet about the wonders of silicone?!"

Ford didn't take long to mull over the decision on whether he would like to explore it, in fact, you knew him to be as eager as you were, despite never knowing about pegging before bringing it up, though none of this should have surprised you, you thought, looking back on it. Ford wasn't a stereotypical man and did not have many qualms when it came to experiencing new things. All the more reason you were excited! Though you knew that he was going to take his time with researching it, but you could wait.

As the days passed he added his small questions about what you had planned, one here, one there. He would hum and nod and maybe ask for more clarification or an adjustment. In fact, he inisted that you practice putting the strap on you ordered, once it came.

"Can I see it?"

"I think the straps are too tight, how do I-?" You were glancing around for the instructions, to see Ford already had them to hand.

"Here, like this." He gently tugs on the threads and it loosens, relieving the indents that were already appearing over your skin.

Self consciousness ate at you, unable to hide that you felt so clueless you let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry! This is... it just feels silly!"

"It is a little bizarre!" Ford joins in with your laughter. "But preparation makes all the difference, my dear."

Once it came to the moment, however, Ford had forgotten what a disparity there was between theory and practice! It had been so long since he had ever been in this position (metaphorically, rather than physically in the same position... but, you get the idea!) and he was starting to remember how vulnerable it can feel...

You've been working him open steadily, using plenty of lube that you kept beside you, Ford encouraging you and helping direct your movements to what he found most pleasurable, voice strained already.

He could feel that pressure and heat from how you slide in, one of your hands coming to soothingly rub at his back, reminding him to relax into it, to adjust. When he gives you encouragement to move, he can feel your form pressing into his. Your hold on him was so gentle, the tenderness made him feel like he was adrift.

He cried out as you set a firmer pace and you stilled for a moment.

"Ford?"

He groaned. "Keep... keep going, baby."

Ford reaches round to find your hand and you let him intertwine your fingers together, placing your hand further forward so the hold would be comfortable.

"You're doing so well. You know that?" You placed kisses over his shoulder before resuming your steady pace. " So good for me, Ford."

The toy that you had gotten was one that had an end that sat just inside your entrance, the pressure of it working you up. Arousal pooling in your belly as you thrust your hips into him.

He looked so beautiful underneath you, his back arched. God, he was a sight to behold. And so you told him, words spoken as you caught your breath. Knowing the words were affecting him from experience if not from the way his breathing changed, those little noises he made that you so desperately wanted to hear, the ones that went straight to your core.

You were taking your time though and Ford began to rock back into your touch, impatient.

Ford whined your name, turning his head, pupils blown wide. "Don't hold back."

It was somewhat rare that he ever got into an impatient mood, the man was unflappable most of the time. A wicked smile started to spread across your face as you tapped at his side, getting to move upwards, into more of a sitting position before grabbing a fistful of his hair, pulling him back into your chest, an arm coming to rest across his broad chest as he squirmed.

"What was that, hm?"

"Ah, please! Please, I want you to touch me, please."

"So polite." You said teasingly.

Adjusting your grip on his hair your pace became firmer, hand roaming down his chest to touch his achingly hard cock.

"That's it." Ford's moans were rising into a delicious background orchestra and you prided yourself on the knowledge that you had worked him up so much.

"W-wait! I want to see you when I- want to touch you, please?" His voice wavered, unsure of his own wants when he was so close to the edge.

"This is about you, Ford." You considered for a moment. "But you can turn around, if you wish."

It was a more awkward shuffle compared to the last, but the break in the tension didn't last long; the heat rising to your face as you saw how wrecked Ford looked, hair stuck up at different angles. Legs rising to wrap around you, the muscles there flexing against your hips. You wondered what you must've looked like to him in such a position, when the roles were reversed. Was this why he liked it?

Ford was practically melting into the mattress by the time your hands were on him again. That first rate brain of his switching off thoughts and transferring to focus on pleasure. He pulled you in so that he could kiss you, in between your praises and moans.

"So good for me, darling."

"Such a good boy."

"Fuck, cum for me!"

Eyes focused on your angelic face above him, he came. His release coating his stomach, and your hand, still firm on his cock as he rode his orgasm out with a shuddering moan.

Pulling out, you collapsed onto the bed, exhausted, letting Ford take over. First wiping you both down, then releasing you from the strap, soon replacing the end of the toy with his fingers, his mouth grazing your breast hungrily as he laid beside you.

He cursed under his breath. "Oh, sweetheart, you're soaked."

Hot kisses trailed across your skin. "You don't have to. T-this, mmn, was about you."

He tutted, a glint entering his eyes. "But I thought I was your good boy. Don't you want me to make you cum? You've gotten so wet for me."

You whimpered, answering with a nod as you carded hand through his hair, gently, this time.

[baldudiable]

common misconceptions about the signs

aries : that they are selfish or uncompromising. that they are always angry.

i think what bothers people is that aries prioritizes themselves instead of others. it's the first sign of the zodiac, so it is associated with the self. aries indeed values itself highly. but i believe it has the potential to be as selfless and giving as libra, its counterpart. libra is all about an equal exchange, and the realization that the self and the other have to coexist. what libra is, aries seeks to understand and integrate. aries' path involves realizing that without other people on their side, they aren't really that important. once they have made this realization, they do everything in their power to fight for the people they love. but the sign knows that it should never come at the expense of their own being, who is the person they are actually gonna end up with, in the end. it's not that they are always angry, it's just that they are not afraid of expressing uncomfortable thoughts or emotions, even if that means rubbing people the wrong way.

taurus : that they are greedy. that they are lazy. that they don't like change.

taurus isn't necessarily greedy. taurus most of all wants to feel secure in order to savor life. it's an hedonist. it's ruled by venus after all. this sign seeks to satisfy its senses by indulging in all kinds of pleasures. for taurus, you have to possess enough ressources in order to do that without having to worry about lacking. it's a sign that is also linked to one's sense of self-worth. taurus has a high self-esteem, which is why they give themselves the things that they deem themselves worthy of. they are far from lazy, they are actually very hard-working. it's a fixed sign, which means that once they are working towards something, they don't stop until they have reached their target. it might just take them some time to actually get up and start. it's hard for them to allow change and to welcome new situations because they worry that they will lose the security they have fought so badly to get.

gemini : that they are two-faced, detached and volatile.

geminis aren't two-faced, they just have what we call a multifaceted personality. they also have a high capacity to change and evolve. it's a mutable sign, which means that gemini's ego is malleable and influenced by its environment. it is is very adaptable. geminis use their perceptiveness to know which role to play according to the person in front of them or the environment that they're in. they absorb information and traits they have observed and and use them when they come in handy. that doesn't mean that they are two-faced. that means they are creative and intelligent. they are not cold, they take decisions listening to their logic instead of their emotions. they aren't volatile, the person that that they were when you met them simply isn't the person that they are today.

cancer : that they are weak or hypersensitive. that they are manipulative.

cancers are sensitive, that is true. but i think the reason people see them as too sensitive is because they are open about it. since cancer is ruled by the moon — which literally represents our emotions — its emotions are stronger and sometimes overpower it; it is therefore less likely to repress its emotions than other people. society encourages us to show no emotion because we might be taken advantage of. but to cancers, this sensitivity is a richness and they intend to express it. the reason they are said to be manipulative is because they can sometimes ignore people's emotions as they are so blinded by their own. as a water sign, cancers' emotions were probably ignored in the past. most of the time, they don't have the necessary tools to express themselves without being dismissing other people's feelings and hurting them in the process. they are not weak. they have, like everyone, needs that have to be met to be happy. the only difference is that they are not willing to accept less than they deserve.

leo : that they are narcissistic. that they are dramatic. that they enjoy causing drama.

it wouldn't be fair to say that leos aren't a bit self-centered. they are. but they are ruled by the sun after all. like the sun, they think that the universe revolves around them. which is true to a certain extent, don't you think? everyone is a little bit self-centered, but not everyone owns it. leos do though. they know that we only get one chance at this thing called life, and they plan to celebrate themselves in this life that they were graciously given. this sign is far from being selfish, it might actually be the most generous sign there is. like the sun, leo wants to share the joy, light and richness that it possesses. i understand the dramatic stereotype though. leo is always involved in some kind of drama. this sign is very proud. it demands respect, and when it feels disrespected, it immediately gets into fight-mode. the fire element makes them very intense. their reactions are big and explosive. sometimes, leo complicates situations because the way it feels about them is just so strong. for that reason the wildfire spreads, and with it, its consequences.

virgo : that they are never satisfied. that they are too down-to-earth or rational. that they are boring.

satisfying a virgo is difficult, i'll give you that. but the standards they set for others are as high as the standards they set for themselves. virgos see everything; the good and the bad. they might be demanding, but they are also able to be appreciative and give credit where it is due. the thing that isn't often said about them is that they are very idealistic. opposite to pisces, this sign strives for perfection. it wants to create heaven on earth. virgos always see how things can be improved and therefore give themselves and others the means necessary to realize their vision. virgos pretend to be rational but they are in fact quite sensitive and spiritual. the only reason they are pretending to be unfeeling is because people depend on them to be strong and to find solutions to their problems. virgos actually brood other past mistakes very often. but they will never admit it, as they hate talking about their feelings and attracting unnecessary attention to themselves. they are not boring, they just have their priorities straight. we should follow their example.

libra : that they are superficial and fake. that they are only interested in their image.

i think the reason libra is said to be superficial is due to its desire to embellish reality. you have to remember that it is ruled by venus, the goddess of love and beauty. libra wants to refine the elements that constitute reality, even if that means ignoring the depths which aren't always agreeable to look at. it can be hard to get beneath the surface with them because the air element makes them uncomfortable with heavy subjects. but there is nothing wrong with wanting to focus on the bright side of life. their idealism can become a problem when things in their life need to be improved and they choose to ignore them. libras are probably considered fake because they are kind to the people they encounter. i think now more than ever, people are suspicious of others' intentions. libra's generosity around their energy or ressources makes people wonder whether it's actually genuine or if there is an hidden agenda behind it. if libra is so focused on its image, it's because it has a high self-esteem and wants to elevate itself. what is not often said about this sign is that it is very ambitious. it's cardinal, so it wants to reach the top. but only because it wants to indulge in the luxuries that life has to offer with the people that matter to them.

scorpio : that they are power hungry. that they are mean. that they are distant.

scorpios aren't necessarily power hungry. most of the time, they don't even want to be in positions of power. they just possess the qualities necessary in order lead. so we make them leaders, and they accept this role. it's a fixed sign, a modality that comes with a laser-like focus and an ability to take control of situations without losing one's cool. scorpios can complete difficult tasks perfectly by removing all distractions. when they are in positions of power, they do everything they can to keep it because power comes with its advantages. they become mean and domineering when they feel that their position is threatened, but it's just a role that they play. they aren't really bad, they are just pretending to be. like taurus, its equal, scorpio is afraid of losing their security. it's also scared of losing control. scorpios usually had no self-agency growing up and major decisions were taken for them instead of with them. now they feel like they have be in control of people and situations in order to prevent harm. they are naturally suspicious of others and keep them at arms' length. the people who manage to see beyond their facade and love them anyway end up becoming their allies. once that is done, they become the most loving & generous people you'll ever meet.

sagittarius : that they are unserious and impractical. that they can't commit.

sagittarius likes to have fun. but that doesn't mean that it cannot work hard. jupiter, the biggest planet in the solar system — rules this sign. like the planet, sagittarius wants to grow continually. you cannot put this sign inside a box. and the reason for that is because being in a box prevents their destined expansion. you will always find this sign travelling, going out and learning new things because it has a need to be stimulated and challenged. it is said to be impractical because it's extending its energy to so many places. but from what i've seen, sagittariuses are more than able to be successful both at work and in the private sphere. it's a mutable sign, which means that it's able to juggle many things at once. they are are not scared of commitment, they just don't want to be in a dynamic that doesn't allow them to be free to wander, and that doesn't encourage them to enlarge their minds and spirits.

capricorn : that they are materialistic. that they are workaholics. that they are boring.

capricorns like money, that is true. but who doesn't? with the earth element that rules it, it mostly wants money for the feeling of stability and peace it provides. capricorn is a realist. it knows that the quickest and easiest way to make money is to get up and work. but money isn't the most important thing to a capricorn. what matters most for it them family. they exist on the same polarity as cancer, remember? the reason capricorns spend so much time outside tiring themselves out is because they want to bring something tangible and durable home. which can be paradoxical, as they end up losing the precious time they could spend on their loved ones on their work instead. but to a capricorn, using oneself is a way to show love. if people call them boring it's because capricorns choose to use the rest of their time to rest and to be with their people. like scorpios, they are suspicious of strangers. they know that once they love someone, they don't hold back. for saturn, the celestial body that rules the sign, time is of utmost importance; capricorn doesn't intend to waste it on ephemeral people.

aquarius : that they are detached. that they are commitment-phobes.

aquarius isn't void of emotions. it is after all, human. like everyone, they do feel. aquarius just chooses to give more importance to its mind rather than its heart when it comes to making decisions. it's an air sign that is associated with groups or with humanity at large. aquariuses often fall into leadership roles because they are social creatures who know how to work with others toward a common goal. to them, leadership has to be objective and unbiased, and it has to profit every parts involved. but in the private sphere, they are far from detached. this sign belongs to the fixed modality, which makes them very loyal and loving. besides, the sun, which is all about one's sense of self, is in detriment in aquarius. their ego is weaker than in other signs and that they are bound to make room for strong attachments in their lives. like any fixed sign, they are difficult to approach because they take relationships very seriously. but once you get past their defenses — and if they deem you worthy of it — you earn their love forever.

pisces : that they are unreliable. that they are passive. that they lack ambition.

pisces are far from unreliable. they are actually some of the most selfless and helpful person there are. they were actually brought up to make themselves useful to others. people always ask them for things, and pisces usually gladly accepts. unless of course they are dealing with problems of their own, or because they are simply too tired to give any more of their energy. they are called selfish from the moment they say no because people have started taking their help for granted. pisces aren't passive or unambitious, but they do lack trust and confidence in their abilities. it's the sign that rules dreams, and theirs are big. they have many talents because they spend their lifetime trying out different practices which allow them to express their complicated emotions. once they realize that their talents can bring them success, they become highly disciplined and determined. nothing can stop a pisces that understands that their gifts can serve both themselves and others.

[deadwasteland-dazaisfan]

₊˚⊹ ᰔ “It's not a knee...” .𖥔 ݁ ˖

°Pairing: fem!reader×chuuya nakahara;

°Contain: drabble, headcanons, close to canon, mention of murders, mention of criminal organizations, hints of sex, MDNI;

°Synopsis: about how your attitude towards each other has changed and you got.... into an embarrassing situation;

°Author's note: well... it's something like nsfw, but I'm not very good at it, so... I hope it's not that bad XD...there may be grammatical errors!

Nakahara Chuuya is your colleague, the head of the executive committee of the Port Mafia, and in fact, you are his secretary.

He is a busy man, holds the honorary title of a martial artist, and is also overworked. That's why he asked Mori to appoint you as his secretary (with your consent, of course). You weren't friends, but you weren't strangers to each other either. Previously, your work went separately: Chuuya constantly disappeared on missions, returned to the mafia office very late, and if he was carried to the outskirts of the city or another prefecture, then it was not worth waiting for him at all. He stayed overnight at a local hotel. You, in turn, were a less important person, although you were on the executive committee under his leadership.

You were rarely on missions, mostly you were engaged in official documentation and paperwork, contracts. Like a clerk, but a little more important. But, as they sometimes said about you, you were a victim, a decoy. That's what they called you because you were always in situations where mafia enemies just grabbed you and held a gun to your temple, threatening to kill you. You were a vulnerable member, and many people from enemy organizations believed that since you were on the executive committee, you should be an important person and you could be used to achieve their goals. Not that it was, no. You were highly appreciated and considered worthy of your position. Plus, you were a great beauty, and all the mafia men just admired the fact that there was such a pretty girl among them. In any case, you don't have to worry — for such threats and unauthorized touching of you, mafia crush their heads and broke ribs.

Over time, you became a little closer to each other — you don't know how it happened, but for some reason he started waiting for you after work (even if he looked like he was going to fall asleep), he could give you a ride on his motorbike or at your request he orders you a taxi. He was very busy during working hours, so he hardly paid attention to you (logically, he didn't pay attention to anyone). Sometimes, tired after battles, he would start writing reports (well, at least he tried), but his head and brain were boiling from everything that had happened, his mind was clouded by fatigue and the need for sleep, and he looked very, very tired. And yet, he managed to come up to you from time to time and ask about some points in the paperwork. Of course, you explained everything to him, he nodded silently with his eyes closed and, returning to his seat, fell into a deep sleep. All you could do was carefully pull out the sheets from under his head that were lying on the table and fill everything out yourself. He was more grateful than anyone else.

He also invited you to the bar a couple of times to have a drink in honor of the successful completion of several missions, but after you, smiling sweetly and awkwardly, said that you wern't drinking, he stop talking, make an empty face and hurriedly nod, after which he leave. Not that he was very upset; but he spent the rest of the evening at the bar over a glass of semi-sweet wine, reflecting that someone really never drinks and doesn't have such an addiction to expensive alcoholic beverages. But soon all his thoughts scattered when he returned home and calmly lay down on a wide bed, falling asleep in the blink of an eye.

Hiding the fact that he was really just too handsome and hot was useless. You just liked him as a person, but as a man he was also very attractive. He had a definite sense of style; he did not dress too pretentiously, his outfits were always good and moderate. And it was partly clear that he had been raised by a woman: idealized manners, always clean, shining red hair, gathered in a neat ponytail, neatly arranged bangs, ironed, clean white shirt; all other things are also clean and ironed, shoes are always clean and shine from the wax applied to them; He always smelled pleasantly of expensive men's perfume; not too heavy, a scent suitable for him. A couple of times you've seen him use lip balm in winter to keep his lips from cracking and bleeding. You also assumed that his house was tidy, clean and had a pleasant smell of fragrance. So, a wonderful man, a rich man, but a reasonable and rational person who knows a lot about manners and neatness, as well as about his work. He combined not only beauty and neatness, but also strength and power. And he was definitely one of those who could stand up not only for himself, but also for other important people for him. Including you. And also rides a motorcycle! Amazing.

But the situation you got into scared you a little, or rather confused you. Oh. Very confused.

It so happens that you and Nakahara have planned a birthday party for your boss, Mori-san. Others were involved in this, but it was you two who did the initial training. While his office was empty, you snuck in here and began to decorate everything that needed to be decorated. But before you could start, you heard footsteps approaching.

It was hopelessness, and Chuuya, grabbing your wrist, quickly pulled you after him. You ended up in some kind of closet, Chuuya quickly closed the door and looked at you. Everything happened so fast that both of you didn't even seem to have time to realize the situation... And now you were underneath him when he was looming over you; well, that was the only possible position for the two of you right now. Looking into each other's eyes, you listen to the sounds outside — someone has entered inside. You both fell silent, barely breathing, so that there would not be an extra creak or sigh. Since there was a closed and very small space in the closet, being here very soon became unbearable. The stuffiness weighed on your mind. So you both gradually got very hot, literally. There was still someone walking around the office, and you didn't know exactly who. Nakahara was still above you, so far he was silent. But after a couple of moments, he quietly approached and whispered in your ear:

"I don't think it's Mori-san. But who knows... We need to be quiet."

You, in turn, nodded slightly and whispered a quiet "yes" in response. You could see the outline of Chuuya, because a light light penetrated into small cracks in the closet. His body, hanging over you, seemed so tempting... But you quickly pushed away all the fragile thoughts and tried to look somewhere else. Chuuya has actually been looking at you all this time. His body was very close to yours, he could hear your slightly rapid breathing. His hands were on either side of your head. He really didn't want to... But your appearance was so beautiful and seductive that he could barely contain himself. He gently leaned closer to you and you felt his warm breath on your neck. He was breathing raggedly and heavily, probably he was hot...

And then you felt something underneath, pressing against your thigh. You couldn't see what it was, of course, but you could easily tell it was his knee. That's why you spoke softly:

"Chuuya, could you take your knee away, please? It gets in the way..."

You saw him pull back a little, and then lean over you again, and this time his voice sounded with a slight tremor:

"This is... This is not a knee...."

There was something between a sour and confused expression on his face. You couldn't tell if he blushed or not, but he did, you can be sure. He also looked away from you and tried to pretend that he was very wary of what sounds were coming from outside, but in fact he was just embarrassed that his body was reacting to you so involuntarily in such situations.

Uh...After the words he said, you were still at a loss, and, to be honest, it didn't come to you right away. You just stared at him, blinking frequently, while intense mental activity continued in your head about guessing what "it" might be, if not the knee.

Noticing that you were silent, looking at him uncomprehendingly, he was even more confused and let out a quiet "Uh ..." after which he tried to think of what to say to you. Your thoughts were not lost, and you thought that it could be the holster from his knife, which accidentally hung down and pressed so uncomfortably. Smiling slightly, you whispered:

"Got it... Is that a knife holster?..."

Oh, my God, you should have seen Chuuya's face. It simply cannot be described in words, and if possible, just repeat the words "confused" and "embarrassed" 100 times. He stared at you, then exhaled softly and said:

"Listen, y/n, this is not a holster.... This... are you... Damn, why haven't you figured it out yet..."

He swore softly and then leaned even closer to you. Oh, he wanted so much to kiss and bite your neck. But he knew he couldn't. Not yet.

Yeah, you haven't figured it out yet. And you felt it pressing against your thigh more and more.

And finally. You got it. You really got it. "It" pressing on your thigh was warm, and as it seemed to you, slightly throbbing. Your eyes widened, your cheeks turned crimson, your breathing became strangled, and you looked down. You actually felt very hot at the same moment of realization. You tried to move away at least a little, but it didn't work because the closet was too narrowly. When Nakahara saw you trying to move, he pinned your shoulders and hissed:

"Don't you dare move!... This damn closet is a million years old, it creaks like the oldest thing on damn earth."

You didn't object. No, not in such a situation and not at such a moment. Keeping silent, you tried to overcome your embarrassment while Chuuya was closely following the sounds from outside the closet. A few minutes later, the person who entered the boss's office finally came out and you and Chuuya opened the door a little. The office was indeed empty. Then, Chuuya run out of the closet with almost light speed, when you were still climbing out. Then you looked at him: flushed face, shortness of breath and wandering eyes. Only for a single moment did you manage to see the bump on his pants, after which he quickly headed for the exit.

"Wait...Chuuya-..."

Before he could get out, you grabbed his elbow and looked at him with a plaintive look. He quickly turned around and looked at you with a hint of seriousness and a little frustration, but nevertheless his face still had shades of embarrassment.

"Can we talk? I won't just leave it like that..."

"Y/N, It doesn't make sense. I'm sorry for all this... Never mind..."

You pulled his elbow and looked at him seriously when you said more insistently

"But... But you're-..."

"Hold on. What are you trying to achieve? Do you want me to make all my thoughts come true? If you annoy me, I promise I'll do it"

"But... I just-..."

Your voice broke off on a small squeak that you made when the redhead abruptly grabbed you and led you to the table. He also quickly, with incredible ease, lifted you up and bent over the table, facing him, as he squeezed your wrists and leaned closer

"Do you want me to fuck you right here? Is that what you want? Please, Y/N, don't do this. Otherwise, I promise I won't hold back..."

"And if I say that I want you to?..."

When those words left your lips, Chuuya's face instantly changed to pure surprise. Well done, 10 points out of 10. He certainly didn't expect such an answer...

"What... What did you say?..."

You looked at him with a slightly embarrassed and innocent look, and then said

"I said that... That I want you to..do it..."

Nakahara blinked a few times before leaning closer to you and whispering

"Do you want me to... fuck you?..."

His tone was like this... sweet and serious at the same time. You involuntarily blushed and swallowed softly when you answered in a trembling voice

"Yes..."

Without wasting any more time and words, Chuuya knocked you down on the table completely and clung to you in a passionate kiss. You unwittingly let out a soft moan against his lips, and then squeezed your eyes shut.

After that, everything was a blur. All you remember is Chuuya unbuttoning your shirt, then his, and then the sound of a belt buckle undoing.

Edited: LMAO I remembered that I forgot to finish the funniest moment! As you have already understood, all the actions took place in Mori's office... Not only was nothing decorated, the papers that were (unfortunately) on this desk were scattered all over the floor, and you both left the office in a lousy state. Chuuya's hair is completely out of order (by the way, so are you), his shirt is not fully tucked in, and you have the same thing.

[hermetiqa]

What do you need to hear today?

Daily Message: 03.08.24

Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.

PAID READINGS

TIP JAR

FEEDBACK

NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to save money for my tuition fee this year.

Pile 1

Hello, Pile 1! I'm getting a lot of anxiety from you. But this isn't something like panic attacks, it's more like anxiety because you're worried about your future. You're scared of losing things and people in your life. You're already happy right now and you don't want to change anything in your life. I feel like you're genuinely happy right now but you're worried that things might go wrong all of a sudden. You're looking forward to the future but it doesn't excite you because it's full of uncertainty. You're a logical person, you make decisions based on your logic. You know when things aren't going the way you want them to. You need to let go of your worries and live your life to the fullest because your worries are holding you back. You keep avoiding reality and you tend to be idealistic, despite your logical self. I'm getting Libra energy here. I'm getting a message that whenever your manifestations are about to come to fruition, things tend to feel like they're falling apart. This is because in order to achieve the better version of your self, your old version needs to be buried to the ground first.

Pile 2

Hello, Pile 2! If you picked this pile, go back to Pile 1. I keep restarting for you but the message is always the same with Pile 1.

Pile 3

Hello, Pile 3! I can see that you're rushing things in your life. I'm seeing that you're about to take action towards unhealthy habits and relationships. You're looking back and reflecting on the changes, and you're realizing that it's not working out for you anymore. You're having the urge to end it now because you know it won't work, and you did your best to make it work. You're willing to take the risk of losing people in your life because you know you'll lose them for a reason, and you know that it is for the better. You've been keeping your distance from them for a while now and you realize that they're trying to control you and your life. They feel like they have to control you, when in fact, they don't have to. Right now, you're content with not communicating with them because it gives you peace. And completely cutting ties with them will give you even more peace, and even abundance. You're willing to lose people in your life and every time you do, you get happier in life. Right now, I'm hearing that before you do this, as much as this will give you happiness, you need to reflect first and make your decision. Use your own judgement. Because you might regret this in the future especially if you're cutting ties with the wrong person, whom you truly treasure in your life.

[arctrooper69]

As Iron Sharpens Iron

"As Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Beta-read by @dragonrider9905

Chapter 3:

Previous // Next

Warnings: Jealously. Mentions of masturbation (nothing explicit).

--------------------------------------------------

Despite the initial crash landing, the mission seemed to have been successful and the trip back to Ord Mantell was, so far, uneventful. The ship lay in a sleepy silence, punctuated only by Wrecker’s occasional snoring from where he lay on the ground against Gonky with Omega and Lula tucked safely in his arms. Phee and Tara played a quiet game of Dejarak and Echo sat watchfully in the co-pilot’s chair beside Tech, who was engrossed in something on his datapad until the ship dropped from hyperspace and landed smoothly back on the planet.

Hunter took moments like this whenever he could get them. It was rare to have time to himself, especially now that Omega and you had joined the squad. But right now, rest did not come so easily to him.

Your outburst at Tara, the way you zoned out during his mission brief, not to mention the cold shoulder you'd been giving him for the past few days - it just wasn't like you.

From a tactical perspective - as your squad leader - he knew that he should go and find you as soon as possible, sit you down and demand you tell him what was going on. It was his duty, after all, to make sure his squad was okay both mentally and physically. It was imperative that he knew everything in order to be able to move smoothly and efficiently as a team.

But for some reason, Hunter felt glued to his seat. Something fought that well-trained commando logic from inside of him, pressing upon him, crushing him like a foot on his chest.

Taking a deep breath, he sat up straighter, cracking his neck.

“Emotion is natural. Fear is natural.”

Hunter remembered the words of one of their trainers on Kamino. He'd laughed it off with the rest of the squad. Scared? Genetically enhanced special forces commandos? Not likely. It was so long ago, he barely remembered the lesson. It wasn't important at the time. Maybe it applied to regs, but not to him. Hunter was their leader, their older brother - he couldn't afford that kind of weakness. So why had he suddenly remembered it now?

“They are in every man's very nature, but you're different. You don't have the luxury to dwell on those feelings. You freeze, you die, so train yourself to let it pass. Focus on the task at hand.”

Hunter let the strange emotion pass, willing the weight to lift from his chest

It felt different though, everytime he glanced towards your bunk, he couldn't help but to recall how you felt cradled in his arms. How your breath caught in your throat when you met his eyes. You hadn't even noticed, but he did.

The door to the fresher opened and you stepped out, turning towards him.

Hunter stood, intent on coming to the bottom of whatever this was. A faint, peculiar scent wafted from you. The feeling he’d so skillfully pushed away only moments ago, bubbled to the surface again. It swirled in his stomach, pooling with tangible heat beneath his skin. It made him hungry in a way nothing had before. He shifted uncomfortably, thankful for the way his armor hid the growing bulge in his pants.

Touching your face, feeling your body in his arms, wishing it was anything but the brutality of battle that called you to him.

He’d been with women before - a drunken fling, or a way to blow off steam after a long mission. This was different. You felt different.

He glanced away, shame springing to the surface at the hopelessness of his desires - but he could hear your body tense, and feel you turn away.

Oh gods, she knows.

Maybe it was the moment his hand rested far too long on your knee. You had stared at the gesture - but it was one of the rare moments when he couldn't really tell what you were thinking. Perhaps the way you stiffened signified your discomfort - perhaps he'd misread that small spark in your eyes.

Hunter stood quietly for a moment, opening his mouth as if to call you back to him, but he made no sound. He closed his mouth again, drawing his lips into a frown, codpiece loosening in a melancholy disappointment.

No. I have a job to do.

“Hey,” he called over to you, keeping his voice low so as not to draw attention from the others.

You froze. Oh gods, he can probably hear my heartbeat. He can smell me and I just…. You glanced back at the fresher door.

Oh gods, he knows.

The thought of him was too much. His hands on your skin, his lips on yours, those beautiful amber eyes that bled sincerity and comfort - it was all too much. It was a lie. You had to let it go or you would explode. Finally alone in the fresher, you could close your eyes and imagine that it was his fingers that caressed your sex and not your own. The release you craved had come almost too quickly and now you were left with an empty longing.

“What.” Your reply came sharply, colder than you’d intended.

“Are you okay?”

The question caught you off guard and you nearly found yourself telling him everything.

I can’t do that to him.

Airing the stupid schoolgirl crush you had on him would only serve to make him feel guilty. You didn’t want his pity.

“I’m fine, Hunter.”

I’m not fine, this is killing me.

“Are… are you sure?” He paused, unsure what kind of response he even expected. You sounded tired. “It’s important you let me know if something is bothering you.” he finished.

“I said I’m fine.”

Hunter shook his head, suddenly incensed by the cold rebuttal. There had to be something wrong and he would find out what.

You can fix this, a voice in his head demanded. Man up and fix this. That's your job isn't it?

“What’s going on with you!?” He snapped, visibly frustrated.

That was not what he'd meant to say - or maybe it was. Hunter didn't know anymore.

Immediately he shut his mouth, seeing your expression phase from one of shock, to one of anger that mirrored his own. He just wanted to help! He just wanted to make things better. Why did you have to make it so hard?

“Excuse me!?” Your eyes flashed, matching his frustration with anger of your own.

It forced its way through your veins like red-hot coals.

What the hell am I doing? You thought. Pining away like a lovesick teenager for a man I work with!?

You sighed.

But he’s so much more than that. The feelings you tried so hard to beat down, forced themselves up through your anger like weeds growing in the cracks of a walkway.

You mowed them down. No. It’s a fantasy. It isn’t real. Get it together before someone gets hurt.

Hunter doubled down, “You heard me. I just want to know what your problem is so we can work out whatever it is!”

“My problem!? Oh my gods, Hunter! I’m fine! I told you I’m fine so please just leave me alone!”

Hunter opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to put words to the whirlwind of confusion, grief, and anger that spiraled about him like a storm.

He watched as you spun sharply around and headed out the door.

--------------------------------------------------

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[fashionteahouse]

Heyy! Could you do a Paul x reader where she gets into fights all the time but now she’s pregnant and he’s about to fight someone and Paul has to hold her back

hii ! sure <3 hope you enjoy :)

no problems - paul x reader

Nobody cared about the distance. Paul willingly drove the extra miles away from home. The only thing that was important was your craving for a mall pretzel.

He went as far as standing in line for you, as you sat in a chair nearby. There was no way he was making you stand that long. The line was a bit long but you couldn’t really blame the people. The pretzel was just that good.

While the person in front of him was ordering, you got up, to walk to where he was in line. Paul moves to the side to let you stand in his spot in line so you could tell them exactly what you want.

After telling you the drink he wanted, he moves to go grab a straw.

A frown was staring at your back. You didn’t know. The person behind you let their frown be revealed when they cut you in line.

You at first, didn’t know if that person had lost their mind at such audacity.

You decided to play it safe at first, after all, you had a human inside of you.

Reaching forward, you tap three times on their shoulder but they don’t move their body, just their head to the side.

“You just cut in front of me.” you tell them.

“It wasn’t a problem when you did it.” they answer back smartly and turn their head back forward.

“It’s quite obvious that my place was being saved.” you tell her, gesturing towards the belly that stuck out. They just roll their eyes, showing you that they’re not paying that any type of mind.

It was their turn, ordering an ice cold drink. A large. Boiling with anger with narrowed eyes, you watch as the smug and rude person get handed their drink. They had to walk past to get to the straws.

Your hand strike up at the cup that their holding, making the cup leap up in their hands and splashing the ice mixed liquid all over their clothes and the floor.

Their jaw is dropped. They look at you but you step to them. Your anger not allowing you to think about anything else.

“What’s your problem?” they ask.

“You. You want no problems. Trust me.” you tell her as you step to her. Your hand goes up to strike her but Paul catches it and steer you away from the future crime scene.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks firmly in a volume that only you could hear.

You detach away from him, noticing that he walked you away from the situation. You were not done. Two hands wrapped around the top part of your body, pulling you back, halting you from walking back to the situation at hand.

“So, you’re on her side?” you ask, eyes wild and ferocious.

“What? No! You cannot be out here fighting while pregnant. Come on now, Y/N.” Paul says to you, trying to reason with you.

“See? You did all of that and didn’t get what you wanted.” he points out, trying to bring out logic instead of emotion.

“You’re right. I didn’t get to pulverize her like I wanted to.” you say while gritting your teeth watching the liquid soaked person try to dry themselves with thin napkins.

“Y/N. Stop. You have to think about our baby. What if something happens?” he says to you, taking a good look at you.

You take a good look at him and sees his concerned face, he even placed a hand on your stomach to gesture his point.

You sigh and decide to calm down, but only because Paul wanted you to.

“Here. Drink this.” he tells you and hands you his drink and guides you to another table and chair, “Sit here. Just calm down. You’re okay.” he says and gives you a kiss. “I’ll go back in line to get what you came here for, okay?” he tells you.

You nod and place the straw between your lips as you watch him walk back in line. It wasn’t as long as the first time but you were a bit glad about the situation. You watch the workers take fresh hot pretzels out of the oven. They were way better being fresh.

[youremyheaven]

Fated Love in Astrology

So, every person has a divine partner that they are meant to be with. Your union with your other half (I hesitate to use the world “twin flame” only because of how misconstrued it is in mainstream astrology/spirituality discourse) depends entirely on both of your individual spiritual awakening and commitment to the spiritual path.

In astrology, the 7th house represents marriage, or, as I like to call it “union”. The 7th house, is the 7th house from the 1st house. It is the descendant to your ascendant. It is the shadow to your ego. Whenever we cross paths with an individual whose luminaries fall to our 7th house, it creates a very magnetic & intense attraction. It’s almost inexplicable what you feel for each other.

With that said, this sort of connection is not logical or rational. It defies all norms. The key to recognizing your divine partner is the intense attraction you feel towards them right away. There is no hesitation or second guessing, you’re simply awestruck by them. Nowadays, we all have a very tedious approach to relationships (due to our collective trauma and bad experiences), everybody walks around with a checklist to find someone who will fit their criteria but that is not how Divine Love works. You just know instantly that there is something different about this connection. That is not to say, the nature of the relationship will be easy. Fated connections are never easy and not everyone is meant to find their Divine Partner. 

When such a person comes into your life, it usually triggers your ego death; they become responsible for you losing the shell of identity you held close to you. All your fears, your shame, your vulnerability comes to the forefront and you have to confront everything you’ve ever repressed. It leads to a dissolution of self. 

In Sufism, there is the concept of “fanaa” which can be translated to “annihilation”. In order to merge oneself with God, it is first necessary to annihilate everything that you consider to be you. It’s important to "to die before one dies". Love & Worship are very closely intertwined. This is exactly what “twin flame” connection feels like. You rid yourself of your ego, you dissolve your sense of “self”. Sounds intense? That’s because it is. It irks me when people talk about twin flames in a casual way because a) not everyone has a twin flame b) this is not a fun experience in any way, shape or form c)This is the least casual of experiences

(I am using the word twin flame here only because it is a term that more people are familiar with, I wanted to speak of the spiritual background of that experience whilst using a term that’s already familiar)

In Jungian psychology, there is the concept of anima/animus, which refer to the unconscious masculine aspect of a woman and the unconscious feminine aspect of a man respectively. One aspect of being a “whole” human being is to integrate these unconscious parts into yourself. This is similar to what a twin experiences, your other half seems to be in the shadow, hidden from your view, crossing paths with them, brings that realization to you and now in order to unite with them, you must first dissolve yourself and merge with that unconscious image of them. 

There is a reason why twins “mirror” each other; they are a reflection of you and vice versa. This is why every interaction with them strikes a nerve in you and you feel their absence like a phantom limb. 

If you’re on a twin flame journey or would like to know more about it, I suggest immersing yourself in Sufi philosophy. To a lay person, the Sufi concept of Love may seem dramatic and over the top but for those in the know, it will seem deeply familiar, because ultimately your longing and yearning for your “twin” is your innate longing to seek union with God/the Divine. We were all made in pairs and to know the other is to know God and to know God is to know Love.

These connections are presented to you in order for you to ascend. Why were you chosen for ascension over millions of others? That’s the divine plan, not up to us to question. It is entirely possible to meet such a person at a time in your life when you’re completely spiritually unevolved (this is very common) and they usually trigger your dark night of the soul. This leads to positive disintegration although nothing about this experience feels positive in any way, shape or form.

Actually uniting with your twin and sharing a life with them is a long shot. Its often an unrequited love. It requires A LOT of work by both people. There is a lifetime of purging, integration and inner work before union could ever be a possibility. Most people who use the term “twin flame” are using a fancy spiritual label to describe their excessive interest in someone. You don’t have a twin flame, you’re just manic. 

In Arabic literature, there are 7 stages to love, it is as follows:

1. Dilkashi or attraction

2. Uns or attachment

3. Mohabbat or love

4. Akidat or reverence 

5. Ibadat or worship

6. Junoon or madness

7. Maut or death

If you believe you’re experiencing a twin flame connection, you have probably gone through these stages, maybe not in this order but you’ve probably experienced all of these. 

You experience an inexplicable attraction that draws you to them, regardless of how far you stray from them, your heart clings to them & forms a deep attachment, even though you don't seem to understand it, you're consumed by love for them, without even knowing why, this love morphs itself into reverence and soon enough it's eclipsed even that & embedded itself as worship. Your feelings for them are so strong, intense and powerful even in separation, even in their absence that you feel yourself going mad. This madness is key because it brings you to the death of "self". You lose all sense of who you were before you met them. You're ripped of your ego. You die and die and die again, hoping to taste the love that will give life to you.

There are astrological indicators obviously but just because these aspects/placements are present, does not mean they are your twin flame. The biggest indicator is the deep sense of knowing you have in your soul, you don’t even have to know the word “twin flame”, you’re experiencing a magnetic, excruciating and tortuous kind of attraction. 

Some indicators:

1. Venus in 12h 

2. Venus in Scorpio

3. Primary Scorpio or Taurus placements (the Taurus-Scorpio axis creates the most intense chemistry between two people)

4. Moon conjunct Mars 

5. Opposite signs occupying many placements (Virgo-Pisces, Cancer-Capricorn, Gemini-Sagittarius)  

5. 7h synastry 

6. Bharani nakshatra 

Uniting with your twin can trigger your kundalini awakening. It is not for the faint of heart. Union is a very intense experience. Much has been said about twin flames and tantric sex. Imo? What we call Tantric sex is essentially the heightened feeling and intensity of sexual experience that a Tantric practice brings about. (its possible to feel this way with a non-twin if you have a disciplined Tantric practice). 

Sex is the source and root of everything. It is the cause of creation and nothing less than divine. Eros is the first god that could be conceived by man, he is the creator of all beings and ruler of the universe. He is son of Chaos, the original primeval emptiness of the universe.

Longing, desire and Eros, all go hand in hand. When your soul has longed for someone for so long, the sheer passion and enormity of desire will make it a very one of a kind experience. Short answer being that sex with your twin will be out of this world and life changing.

In Sufism, there is a concept called baqaa which is subsistence through God. Someone who has experienced fanaa, or annihilation of the ego and self, finds God, unites with him and sees him in everything. This is what love of a “twin flame” nature does. It is all consuming and potent, you cannot walk away from it, even brushing with it briefly, transforms you. It purifies you and strips you of your pride, shame, fears and everything that you thought was “you” but the reward for this is understanding through first hand knowledge, a love so all encompassing, expansive, deep and profound that it forever alters the way you look at the world. You begin to love everything and everyone because you’ve tasted true love and its generosity. 

Karmic Partnerships

These are extremely common and almost everyone has one. They need not strictly be romantic. Many non-romantic associations can be karmic. These people to put it very plainly, come into your life, to teach you lessons. They need not explicitly be “bad relationships” but the energy is definitely not light hearted and its absolutely not meant to last a lifetime. You are meant to learn your lessons and move on from them and break the karmic cycle. However there are people who do not do this and stay stuck in the same patterns and perpetuate the same cycles.

Some indicators of Karmic Partnerships in astrology:

1. 12h synastry

2. 8h synastry 

3. Saturn aspects 

4. Capricorn/Libra placements

Soulmates

These are the most wholesome, fulfilling bonds between two people. Soulmates need not always be romantic. The bond is kind of instant and inexplicable. You just get each other. It feels fulfilling, empowering and light. It fills you up. There is no angst and there’s no chaos. 

Some indicators:

1. Moon signs that are compatible with each other

2. Moon aspects that are positive

3. Venus-Ascendant aspects

4. 5h synastry

5. Strong Venus or Jupiter aspects

6. Element compatibility (fire & air vs water & earth)

🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🦋🦢🦢🦢🦋🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🦋🦋🦢🦢🦢🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️

I’m sorry if I sound a little too esoteric on this post 😭😭😭idk how else to talk about this stuff and I tried my best to make it sound as simple as I could 😭I hope this was interesting and if you guys have any questions feel free to ask me💛💛

Further reading:

1. Plato’s Symposium

2. Sufi philosophy and poetry 

3. Carl Jung’s works

[jals-stuff]

Hihi! First of all I LOVE your writing and thank you for feeding us hungry Orter fans with your work (I have been STRAVING for his fic) so if you don't mind, I have a little request! So I imagine in a what if Orter has a crush on someone (aka us and ofc we gotta like the sandman back) who's always on a dangerous mission due to how strong they are who is ALSO his partner time to time and one day, they just went into a coma from overusing their magic. MAYBE when they woke up, the two will confess to each other or?? Idk I will let you cook 🧑‍🍳

(Sorry if my wording is a little confusing!)

good day/evening anon! your wording is just fine no worries

first of all, thank you SO much, this brightened my day by a lot, you have absolutely no clue what kind of serotonin torrent you have unleashed. I am glad at least some people like my writings, that's why I'm doing it.

I don't think this is 100% close to what you described, but I hope you'll like it regardless-

Should be gn!reader if I didn't mess it up...

warnings: SLIGHT SPOILIES, bit dark, mentions of death, bit of despair... not proofread I am so sorry.

word count: 2.8k

note: I apologise for any dumb mistakes because I physically cannot proofread myself at 6am but if I don't post it now I won't do it ever. please don't hate me anon

What if...

As much as he hates to admit it (to himself, of course), Orter had grown a little bit too fond of you. The way you greet him whenever you come back from a mission, or the way you always make sure to respect the rules and act logically while also protecting everyone around you when the two of you would go on missions together. 

The way you whine when your legs are tired after walking long distances, the way you always bring him a little something to eat when you know it’s going to be a long trip. You’ve always been good to everyone, much opposed to the cold man; but it wasn’t the only difference between the two of you.

Everyone has their own logic and, as much as you respected your own, his was quite different. While you wanted to take every single possibility into consideration, he preferred not to overload his mind with useless statistics and just think of a solution when the time comes.

However, a lot of things aren’t affected by logic, such as feelings, and how could the dense sandman guess that you were absolutely enamoured with him? These were variables he would’ve never imagined, even though he was painfully into you as well. 

Of course, he was your top priority, and protecting him from harm even though he was a rather powerful mage was of the utmost importance. He should’ve known that when the two of you recklessly charged into enemy territory in an attempt to weaken the devil’s quintuplets before they would be on the move.

Orter was a man of many things, but “what if''s were not part of his usual reasoning, and that was the biggest mistake of his life. However he only realised it too late when you had to break your own limits to make sure he’d go back safely. It was time to retreat, but the two of you had been completely cornered. 

Having a dormant god inside of your wand had many benefits, but Psyche was not an entity to be trifled with. The Soul Goddess would, each time you requested even a fraction of her power, take a huge toll on your stamina and sanity, and this time it was more than critical.

You were already exhausted from using so much of your mana, and now you were completely surrounded by Innocent Zero's sons. Unleashing your Psyche Inclination and ordering all of the quintuplets to sleep immediately surpassed your own boundaries.

You knew what would happen if you pushed beyond your limits with your personal magic, but it was completely worth it. After all, what was the point of living anymore if the only person you loved was dead? 

All of them were immensely powerful, and neutralising such strong enemies was not a meagre task. As soon as the last one fell to the ground in blissful slumber, you felt something rupture inside of you; like a used rope that suddenly lets go, your breath hitched and you collapsed to the floor. 

It was all pitch black, and your consciousness kept you company just long enough to let you hear Orter’s panicked voice calling out for you. Yet somehow, despite the fact that you were falling into the pitch-black abyss, you felt relieved that he, above everything and everyone, was safe.

But anything beyond the confines of your darkened mind was unknown to you and despite your multiple attempts to open your eyes and wake up, everything went silent.

“No, no no…”

Had you been awake, you would’ve been astonished at how Orter had never been that distressed before, at least not in front of you. The loss of his dear friend Alex Elliot had taught him a painful lesson not to get attached to anyone and to simply stick to the rules, but he had let himself fall for you, and now he was experiencing the trauma once more.

“Please, no… not them…” 

Not only were you unconscious, you had done this to yourself for his sake. He was aware of that fact; had you not decided to literally put yourself through such an ordeal, the two of you would be dead already.

But unlike his deceased junior, your heart was still beating and there was still time to save you. He had never run so fast in his entire life, carrying you carefully in his arms to bring you back to the Bureau’s infirmary, laying you down as gently as he could as the nurses rushed to assess your state.

You weren’t hurt, so to say, but the abusive usage of your personal magic had plunged you into a coma, and it was unsure if you would ever wake up from it. 

It looked like you were peacefully asleep, maybe dreaming of a better place you would possibly join soon; unmoving and slowly breathing, as if nothing had happened. Orter knew you could possibly open your eyes anytime, and it kept him distracted every time he would fill his paperwork or go on a mission.

Whenever he had free time, he would rush to the infirmary to check on you, make sure you’re still breathing, or even talk to you. It could help you come back to your senses, or so the nurses said, and as ridiculous as he felt when he talked to your inert body, he would’ve done anything in his power to bring you back, as slim as the chances were.

But then it suddenly hit him. What could he possibly tell you if you ever woke up? He would for sure apologise, but other than that? How could he face you after you had quite literally sacrificed yourself for him? He wasn’t even sure he could look into your eyes again.

Did you resent him for this?

Would you forgive his recklessness?

Would you give him this warm smile he had gotten so used to?

And would it be time for him to finally admit his feelings? You were right here, in front of him, yet you weren’t there. He missed you so dearly, the sound of your voice, the shit eating grin you’d give him whenever he was wrong and you were right, the way you’d laugh at his disgruntled expression afterwards…

All of these interactions he thought annoyed him were now severely missed and he would’ve given anything to even just see the colour of your eyes one more time. 

And see he didn’t, for what seemed to be an eternity. Everyday, when he’d come to visit you, a small part of him hoped your eyes would be open and you’d greet him the way you always did, but every time, he was met with your inanimate form, comfortably laid in the infirmary bed. 

His hope of hearing your voice ever again gradually vanished with every one-sided conversation he had with your unconscious figure, swallowing down his emotions with every word he said. He was slowly accepting the fact that you might just never open your eyes again.

The more this thought settled into his mind, the more desperate he grew, and suddenly, his usual mindset faded away and his brain filled with “what if”s. 

What if he had taken some time to listen to your suggestions, what if he had thought of a plan B like you always had? What if he had ever told you about his feelings, what if you loved him back? What if you didn't? What if you never woke up?

Dread took over on his other emotions and suddenly, it wasn’t hope that drove him to visit you everyday; it was despair. What if you never opened your eyes again? How could he ever live with your presence replaced by this horrifying feeling of guilt for letting you die in his place? 

You were surely powerful enough that you could’ve ran away on your own, and left him behind if needed; it would’ve been the logical, reasonable thing to do. But the heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of. Of course, he should’ve known that you would never leave him behind, but precisely because it was completely illogical, it never occurred to him that you would willingly let yourself be hurt if he had a chance to make it out alive.

Now he was sitting at your bedside and kept hoping you’d wake up, just open your eyes and talk to him, greet him and say everything was going to be fine, just the way it was before… it seemed like he hadn’t heard your voice in an eternity, and it was weighing on him the whole time. Like a burden he would have to carry forever if you didn’t wake up from this coma you had put yourself into for his own sake.

His eyes never left your figure as he spoke to you kindly, as if you were still awake. Of course, occasional visitors would look at him like he was a lunatic, talking to someone who was obviously not here to answer, but it didn’t matter to him anymore.

Orter was ready to abandon his image for your sake, sometimes even skipping work and breaking his own principles so he could hold your hand for another minute before going on yet another perilous mission. 

The thought of you dying peacefully in your sleep haunted his mind every single day, and his sorrow was great enough that, more than once, he did consider exhausting himself enough so he would be defenceless enough for an enemy to just take him out of his misery.

For weeks, months, his mind was plagued with the thought of you leaving him forever, of not being able to tell you about these feelings he thought were completely unnecessary. Shame and rejection didn’t even matter to him anymore and he just longed for the day you’d wake up and even just look at him. 

He was on a mission, the day he heard that one of your fingers had merely twitched. Breaking protocol was far from his usual behaviour, but he needed to see you. That is how he accidentally drowned an entire area in sand, catching both enemies and harmless monsters in his Antlion’s Nest. 

The rules didn’t matter to him anymore, it was a physical need to see if you were okay and to maybe, just maybe hear your voice. 

However, he walked in on something completely different. Many of the other Divine Visionaries were gathered around you in religious silence, observing you. He had to push through the crowd and his heart stopped for a second when he saw you. 

You were sitting up in your bed, slightly confused as to why everyone was staring like this. For you, mere seconds had passed but in reality it had been literal months. As your eyes travelled amongst the crowd, you saw Orter, who was also staring at you in utter disbelief. 

The infirmary was completely silent, and no one was moving, as if time had suddenly stopped. Ryoh threw a glance at the others and they just silently left. Now it was just you and Orter, looking at each other in both confusion and shock. He stumbled towards the chair that was resting near your bed and he slowly took a seat.

“Well… you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Upon hearing your voice, he let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. It was like all of his burdens were suddenly lifted off his shoulders and his head and arms simply collapsed against the mattress, much to your confusion. You raised your hand to reach for his hair and upon seeing how your nails had grown so much, you realised something probably happened.

“It’s been months! I thought you’d never wake up! I thought I wouldn’t hear your voice ever again. Why on Earth would you do such a thing? No, no... it was all my fault. I'm sorry, (Y/N), I'm so, so sorry.” 

He sounded angry, but he really wasn’t. You started connecting the dots and it took you a bit of time to understand that you had been unconscious for the past few months, worrying the poor sandman to death, though right now it didn’t matter at all. 

“I’m glad you’re alive, Orter.”

Although you had been unconscious for literal months, seeing the Desert Cane unharmed was such a huge relief for you. However, not everything was swell inside his mind. He still felt extremely guilty that you nearly died for him, and nothing could possibly pay back this humongous debt he thought he owed you. 

But seeing his relieved expression when he looked at you was enough of a payback. He had watched you wither away for months and now you were finally back to the world of the living, eyes focused on him and him only. 

You tried to stand up but as soon as your arms attempted to lift your form, they gave out and you started losing balance. Orter immediately stood up from his chair to catch you, wrapping his arms around your now weak body to support you, but even after you were back to your spot, he wouldn’t let go. He simply sat on your bed next to you, not letting go. 

Almost out of instinct, you rested your head on his shoulder and let out a long sigh, your arms raising up slightly.

“Please, just rest, you must be really exhausted.”

But his words just didn’t reach you, you needed this. After a while and a lot of effort, you managed to rest these weak arms of yours against his shoulders, on the sides of his neck, and he fell silent. You had no strength at all but he could feel you use all of your willpower to embrace him, and you also seemed like you wouldn’t let go.

He seemed fine with it as he slightly nuzzled your neck and closed his eyes, finally relaxing a little after this emotional rollercoaster. It felt so comfortable to finally be in his arms after such a long time spent longing for him, as if you were finally where you belonged. 

“I missed you.” Orter said quietly, close to your ear. His arms tightened around and you would've probably cried hadn't you been so exhausted. Your words were stuck in your throat and you could only nod and hum softly, your voice cutting inside your throat. 

His arms tightened around you further, holding you into a comforting hug, one of his hands gently going through your hair and keeping your head close to him. You exhaled again, wanting nothing more than to keep holding him. 

“Just don't let go. Please.”

Your voice was muffled by his embrace but you were close enough to his ear for him to understand your words, and you could've sworn you heard his breath hitch for a second as his arms tightened even harder around you.

“I won't.” He sighs into your neck, comfortably seated on the side of your bed, and you wanted nothing more than to lay back down and have him hold you, but you were still in the infirmary and it would've been very problematic to be seen like this.

“I won't, ever. I can't.” He held you even closer now, like he was trying to merge with you, your chest and his pressed against each other as if to share your heartbeats.

Although you had never seen Orter being this close with anyone before, it all felt very natural. Just like the way his hand slid from your hair to your cheek, like the way he moved away from you slowly, his usually cold gaze now soft and filled with something you weren't quite used to.

Just like the way he couldn't take it any longer and gave in to the physical urge to softly press his lips to yours. You didn't pull away, of course; the moment too precious to let surprise ruin it. 

You returned the kiss, your eyes now closed to take in the pleasant, wholesome warmth his embrace brought to you, after you'd been so cold for literal months. 

As nothing lasts forever, your lips and his slowly separated, but his eyes were now on yours again. 

“I won't let you fall again, (Y/N), I promise.”

You couldn't help but give a soft chuckle and his expression turned slightly puzzled. Of course, you two didn't share the same braincells.

“I've already fallen too hard.” You breathed out.

His eyes widened for a second before he regained his composure and brushed a few hairs away from your face to place them behind your ear.

“Then I guess we’re both down now.” he finally admitted, his expression just a little softer and his lips almost curved into a smile. 

You were suddenly thankful for Orter holding you so close, lest your heart would've jumped out of your chest. 

“I love you, just… in case it wasn't clear enough.” He awkwardly added, and you thought it was just adorable. Another chuckle escaped you with a nod.

“I know. I love you too.”

He hummed softly and sighed deeply in relief. 

That was one “what if” finally satisfied, and probably the first of a long list.