#REAL anxious
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every time i dream about a guy i draw him. *i drag him out by the scruff like a cat* this one's name is Landon
#i like my dream guyssss i keep them in a google doc#spider lore spider lore get ur spider lore#btw i think this one would LIKE getting dragged around by the scruff. hghggngng i wish he was real it was a good dream#he's a real Beat Me Up To Calm Me Down type guy#REAL anxious#spiderdreams#it is so fucking embarrassing having emotions in public but i LIKE this guy and i hope. other people do as well#i wanna beat him up SO bad
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Winslow I drew just now to avoid studying (❤‿❤)
#I wish he was real and we could be best friends...#I would stretch him on the taffy stretcher#Trying to post more of my drawings to be less anxious abt posting (;≧皿≦)#I want a cool cape#phantom of the paradise#potp#winslow leach#my art
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#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#my anxiety went so fast over the skies because i listen to like 10 eps a day#me as an anxious and generally scared of everything girl: hmm yes mystic horror podcast right what i need#paranoing like jon <3#i feel bad drawing fanarts of relatively real people whom i dont know personally eh..
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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Hmmm just gonna spit this headcanon out in text post form since A. I don't think I could exposit it well enough in image form and B. It's not actually textually/thematically substantiated and I don't like actually staking my stuff on just vibes alone*
But anyway. I'd say it's pretty evident that all the islanders forgot their names, right? King obviously. Because why the hell else would he do that, but also Siffrin No Middle Names No Last Name.
They're 'pretty sure' they've 'always' been 'Just Siffrin' 'as long as they can remember'. It's a pretty cruel twist of the knife to say that they don't even get to keep their birth name as a memento, which is why I'm saying as such.
My utterly unsubstantiated claim is I think it'd be cute to say that Sisyphus *is* the name Siffrin initially picked, assuming the myth of King Sisyphus is recontextualised as idk, just a play or something in the setting. But I like the idea of Siffrin going 'oh shit 🫵 he's just like me fr' at a tortured fictional character long before the irony kicks in.
As for how Sisyphus -> Siffrin. I think that chronic mumbler and emotional doormat Sif just did not correct people who misheard the name during their time travelling, and went through enough places with incompatible phonologies (pronounceable sounds in the language) without ever really writing it down that it just got kinda. Changed until it was unrecognisable, and Siffrin just went with it until the earlier pronunciations slipped out of their swiss-cheese brain. And they just kinda don't remember any of that.
Also, something something the horrid realisation that Siffrin also named themselves after a King. Just not as blatantly.
*(though I think there's something here about Siffrin, a guy from a belief system that seems to thoroughly disincentivise autonomy and self-motivated choice continuously having their hand forced to make changes/choices they don't want but have no choice but to... It's not solid enough to really back this up tbh, but it informs it.)
Anyway.
#theres also something one of my french-speaker friends said about siffrin's official pronounciation being the feminine way to pronounce -in?#which i dont know enough about to really corroborate and theyre busyyyy and havent started the game yet so i cant really ask#im sure someone else has already voiced this easy-to-come-up-with headcanon anyway but just in case nobody has i decided to post it#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat loop#i also personally picture sif (and loop especially) being more hostile to the concept of changing themselves after The Encounter#both of them being big grudge-holders and that 'want' to control your own destiny being clearly against how they interpret the universe#as for whether they should be so hostile? probably not! but they appear to be anxious in fear of some kind of divine retribution should#they like. ever even dare to Want. and uh. well. that certainly went well for Loop. not sure they'd be gung-ho to do it again#so Loop being able to go 'oh well it wasn't my REAL name' as a salve for having to make a new identity AGAIN....#while sif is explicitly clinging to it as an anchor for Who They Are If Nothing Else.. they can upset each other and also mirabelle i think#lucabytetalks
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Vulnerable Moment
I loathe doing the Patreon shout outs every month because it makes me so anxious, and because those posts always get super-low engagement. People enjoy watching my content but they super don't enjoy the idea that it costs money to make.
But this month the Philosophy Tube Patreon took a bit of a dip because a lot of patrons suddenly had to restart student loan repayments (and fair enough! That's a more important expense!) Philosophy Tube takes time and money - it has to be done through crowdfunding because that's the only way it stays free, accessible, and properly researched. So if you can afford a couple of dollars a month, NOW WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO SIGN UP!
#philosophy tube#for real though#now would be a good time#I get so anxious asking people to sign up even though I know the content is good?#isn't that weird
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marisha bringing up the fact that keyleth def was pacing around 1 hour before the meeting frantically trying to think of fancy titles for bh and laura going "no she didn't make those up on the spot she was so confident about it" and marisha going "yeah bc she planned it she couldn't come up with that shit" and dani going "she sky-wrote them on the ceiling like a teleprompter"
#she's an anxious gifted child for real!!! <3#35m 4SDx27#text#critical role#4 sided dive#cr3#cr lb#cr spoilers#marisha ray#laura bailey#dani carr#keyleth cr
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Please. I don’t want to hurt you.
Inspired by @wyvernne ’s vampluc
#sad and angsty vampire turned against his will and only drinks from animals because he sees himself as a monster#which leaves him incredibly weak and thirsty for real sustenance but he would rather drink his own blood than hurt you#his control will only last for so long!#sorry for being incredibly inactive and unresponsive with asks#lots of change in my life right now that’s leaving me incredibly anxious#can’t focus well so I just avoid things constantly. im sure someone can understand what I mean#oh well#diluc#my art#genshin impact#vampluc
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IM GONNA BE SICK SHDKDHSSJSH Hori’s really saving him for last,, we’ve got panels of every single character guiding Deku, cheering him on, pushing him through… except Bakugo?
we’re about to get something so incredible
#I DID SOB YES IT GOT ME I WAS VERY VERY OVERHWELMED AND SO SCARED AND ANXIOUS AND FED UP FROM DISCOURSE#IM JUST ON REPEAT OF PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#I’m still so terrified…#SHAKING LIKE A WET RAT#‘kacchan and everyone else’ REAL REAL#mha 422#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#:’)#ktdk
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I've been trying to write a caption about this but Legend's relationship with the other Links is getting...complicated.
#legend is just as anxious as Time.#i wish i could tur this into food so i could eat it.#im so ready for shot to get real again#linked universe#lu wild#lu legend#look at his face wild has no idea je just nlew him off lol#hes lucky he didnt just get swatted across the face lol
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this might be mean but. it really ticks me off when people respond to authors and artists wishing for actual community and engagement with their works by saying "oh but you see im just so anxious i cannot offer you any kind words." with the optional "but do please keep making things for me anyway!" because like...
a) do you understand how anxiety-inducing it can be to pour a little piece of your soul into a work of art and share it publicly? i feel like you don't see the people creating these things as people like you and that is an issue. we are people who just really love a thing and want to talk about it with other people who also love that thing.
but moreover, and this is the part that might be mean, b) damn why doesn't your anxiety prevent you from making excuses to us then? i wish it did! like if you're SO anxious about a fic author blocking you for saying something nice, why are you not anxious about getting blocked for telling that author "okay but i don't want to comment on your works though"??? because i can tell you which of these two things is way more likely to piss me off and it isn't the comment.
like. idk man. if you really don't want to comment on and engage with people's creative works, no one can force you to. but also consider maybe not commenting on and engaging with those people's posts just to explain that you don't want to comment on/engage with their works. if you are so committed to staying quiet and being a passive consumer then commit to the bit and stop asking creative people who put way more of themselves out there than you are to pat you on the back and reassure you that you'll still keep getting free content even if you can't do so much as drop a "this was really good!" in the comments.
#rimi talks#like. maybe its just me but i just do not care about passive consumers#someone can love my fic more than anything in the world and reread it every single day for a week and i literally would not care#if they don't talk to me! because i have no way of knowing. they are not real to me.#like functionally someone doing that is NO different than 7 different people opening the tab and going ''i hate this nvm'' 2 sentences in.#and the people who go ''ohh but im sooo anxious i cant comment (but i can fsr tell you about how anxious i am about commenting'' are so.#newsflash i have anxiety too and i just shared 30000 words so forgive me if i kind of don't give a shit#it's just like. if you're not going to comment then don't. but don't ask me to reassure you or give you a medal for it!#sometimes the politest thing to do is simply shut the fuck up <3#like there's a time and place for talking about how you're anxious or burnt out or exhausted#and it's simply NOT when people are shouting into the void about wanting a sense of community bc they feel taken for granted.#that is not the time or place. please learn a sense of shame if manners are beyond you.
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i just love them
#cuteness aggression is real#i just want to squish them lovingly#kakagai#gaikaka#kkg#maito gai#might guy#hatake kakashi#kakashi hatake#thanks for looking friends#naruto#nart#jvart#naruto fanart#idk why im suddenly so anxious to post art lmao#but im being brave & posting now :)#ive been holding onto these for like 2 months#i threw in the colored carrying one yesterday tho#and then naturally i fiddled with the other ones lmao
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Funniest thing about Peri ships is that everyone came to agree that 1. He has horrible taste in clinically insane men and 2. If you actually look closer he is equally or more insane than them, he just hides it better
#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#peri#mostly thinking about Irep and Dale here#he doesn't have a lot of choices tbh#but you dont grow up with Peri circumstances and end up stable lets be real#insanely powerful celebrity baby born from a wish made by the brother he ended up losing at an early age#charming and good at most things kid ends up as a anxious Burnout neurotic adult#that fixates on rules because he may or may not need to control his magic#i need to open his brain#perirep#peridale
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Nishida-san appears to be well. Our discussion was brief, and ultimately he had very little to say aside from assuring me that the Majima family was performing as expected.
Speaking with Nishida-san, however, did give me some thought as to the applications of the proposed clan therapy. There are certainly some among us who would benefit from it.
#rgg#yakuza#like a dragon#mine yoshitaka#nishida#For real most of this is going to be Mine making intimidating faces#Sometimes on purpose. Sometimes on accident.#:I wow nishida's an anxious guy wonder why hes so scared
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Oh the irony of finally becoming a giant only to take a look at how far away the ground seems from your perspective and immediately feel sick with vertigo. You can’t stand it, but you’ve been wanting this for forever!
Or…
Oh the irony of finally becoming a tiny only to realize being picked up and carried causes you to get extremely motion sick. You hate it, but you’ve been daydreaming about it being the best thing ever!
#I need me a duo of g/t-loving friends who finally get their dream come true and it just sucks ass#they HAVE to work through it though because omg g/t real they can’t miss this opportunity#I feel like I’d have such a dilemma if I ever grew#I wouldn’t be able to look down without getting sick but I’d be anxious about crushing something if I DIDN’T look down#g/t#giant/tiny
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my attachment style is both anxious and avoidant.
i have a hard time expressing that i care about you but don’t you dare leave me
#actually aspd#actually npd#aspd#npd#clusterb#actually mentally ill#actually bpd#actuallyaspd#actuallynpd#cluster b#actuallybpd#actually cluster b#cluster b personality disorder#attachment issues#actually borderline#actually narcissistic#actually antisocial#antisocial personality disorder#narcissistic personality disorder#borderline personality disorder#avoidant attachment#anxious attachment#narc abuse isnt real#narc abuse isn't real#attachment styles#bpd safe#aspd safe#npd safe#mental illness#abandonment issues
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