#Or they are just so racist and sexist it doesn’t matter
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You (wsj article author, not op) supposedly cherish “freedom of expression” and “stories” - which party is doing book bans?? And Which party is against censorship?? Hmmm??? And by voting for Trump you proved everyone else right! You are too stupid and racist and sexist, especially if you think Trump winning will stop these “divisive and destructive” arguments. Leftists and liberals still exist and we still know we are smarter than you and that trump is bad. Or were you hoping we’d all be put in jail? Which trump said he would do-jail all his “enemies” but oh no Democrats enacted constitutional overreach to address actual treason on Jan 6th. You are also stupid for not knowing what 3rd graders are actually taught, and that it’s not Critical Race Theory. I will also bet $1000 you don’t know what CRT actually is or who Kimberlé Crenshaw is. You fear the sway of Big Pharma and you voted for trump?? When Biden has been capping insulin at $30?? And got us vaccines and covid tests for free?? Like none of what you wrote makes sense!!
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Thank you, Wall Street Journal, for giving us an editorial that tells us "I voted for Trump because Democrats were mean and rude and 8 year olds are learning CRT and Trump will bring us freedom." Fuck's sake. You bought into Republican propaganda.
#Obligatory yes I know Kamala Harris and the Democratic Party are too beholden to the rich and too centrist/right wing#I would like to vote for more leftist candidates who are actively opposing genocide like Bernie Sanders#but Dems being bad doesn’t mean trump is great or even good or okay#I voted for Harris#but I also voted for Bernie in the 2020 primary#and I’ll keep voting super left in primaries#and as left as is feasible in general elections#but trump voters should be ashamed of themselves#For voting for someone who hates most people and most kinds of people and who doesn’t care about helping anyone#he’s not gonna help most of the ppl who voted for him#I thought they learned that the first time#but it’s been 4 years and I guess they forgot#Or they are just so racist and sexist it doesn’t matter#too scared to vote for a woman of color who would have moderately improved the lives of every day Americans#without solving most of America’s systemic issues which will take decades if not centuries to solve#Because breaking stuff is a lot easier than fixing it#but because she was black and Indian and a woman#and because the ppl who would benefit (slightly) might be black or women or queer or undocumented#Well You couldn’t have that#so frustrating#a rising tide lifts all boats#and it might have been an inch or a foot but the tide would have helped everyone#but some ppl care more about punishing others - punishing undocumented migrants for example#that if the perception is they might not get treated like completely disposable garbage then you can’t vote for Harris#even though Biden and Obama have been way too tough on immigration#Obama even deported the most ppl of any President#but because the Dems aren’t openly xenophobic and racist and don’t laugh about how badly they will treat the ppl they deport#you can’t vote for them?#because it’s easier to blame America’s problems on immigrants (who are the cause of exactly zero of America’s problems)#than to face up to the many multi-faceted causes of America’s ills? Or to acknowledge that racism & sexism might have something to do w/ it
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There are some very important things for people to remember when discussing how someone horrible could create great art that’s genuinely meaningful and touched them tenderly while abusing other people.
Artists are professional liars
I cannot emphasize this enough. All storytellers are extremely skilled at at least one thing: lying flagrantly in a way that you no longer care you are being lied to. Usually, this is consensual: you know what they’re saying is fake and you all agree for a jolly good time.
At its best, art will lie to you in such a way that some truth becomes clearer for it. But fiction is not true.
And just because normally you agree to be lied to, doesn’t mean that you always know when the lying stops.
Nothing is all good, or all bad.
Please. Please understand this. Even your favorite piece of media didn’t do something perfectly. Maybe the ending was a little rushed. Maybe those side characters had a lot of potential that went nowhere. Maybe a plot idea was introduced that never got resolved satisfactorily. And maybe that character’s arc is sexist as hell and the ending was homophobic as shit.
None of that means that the art didn’t commit to its themes or that the protagonist wasn’t complex and layered and compelling. Or that the prose or art style wasn’t captivating as hell. Or that the structure wasn’t experimental and exciting.
Inevitably, all art and all people and all of everything will have good points and flaws. It’s just…life. It’s just existence. Minmax your stats.
Art is a reflection of its creator—and even abusers are not devoid of something redeeming
A lot of the time, you can, at least in retrospect, see a lot of nonsense in some art that is reflective of uncovered biases and -isms and abuse. It’s there in the art.
But it’s almost never the only thing in the art.
Because maybe you see in retrospect that a piece of art is sexist and racist, but dammit, it also really strongly conveys the beauty of language and travel and talks tenderly of sibling relationships.
And maybe that’s because the artist was sexist and racist and also loved language and communicating with others and exploring new places and their entire heart belonged genuinely and kindly to their siblings.
People are complicated. Art is complicated. They both just have a lot going on, and some of it will contradict itself and some things just don’t seem like they should exist together and they do, they do, they do, and sometimes two things you wish didn’t go together will nevertheless be tied to each other and you will never, ever be able to take one without getting at least small bits of the other.
So, really: take the reminder that you liked art by someone who hurt people as a reminder that everyone can hurt people no matter what good they’re capable of.
Even you.
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Prompted by this post and the related interview, reason 15467352 why I think Dave Felony isn’t up to the task of writing live action Star Wars.
I was going to harp about how this proves Filoni hasn’t read the books but this interview is from before the canon trilogies were out so touché on that. And yet this just proves to me why Filoni isn’t the guy for the job of writing Thrawn. Or any live action imperials for that matter.
I’ll start by saying that one thing I will concede is that the notion of the Imperial military being plagued by incompetent officers is not entirely unrealistic. Given that it’s a stratocracy, you can expect to find people who used politics to climb the ranks rather than actual military competence - it’s a kind of French Revolution situation kind of thing. Historically it’s been known to happen in our world.
Combine that with the fact that the Empire is racist, elitist and (kind of) sexist as all hell and you have a limited pool of people to pick from when filling its ranks, pushing some genuine talent to the fringes or excluding it altogether.
The thing I’m entirely tired of seeing though is the implication that it’s the majority of Imperial leadership that’s like this and by this I mean incompetent. The overwhelming majority at that. But more on the Empire’s moronicity later, let’s talk about Thrawn.
“He’s not ambitious in the way where he needs to see himself promoted, or a governor one day. He purely wants to dissect them; that’s what he enjoys!” This. This grinds my gears so much. For starters it proves that Filoni sees Thrawn as this ‘quirky baddie’ where Zahn treats him as an actual person. There’s something almost condescending in taking a neurodivergent coded character and being like ‘aww, look at them, they’re so happy doing their little thing they don’t have any other goals and ambitions whatsoever :)’.
To get things straight, Thrawn has always been annoyed by the limitations placed on him by an inferior rank. You could argue it’s for the simple reason that a higher rank gives him more freedom to act and pursue his goals but that’s just what that is, a simplification.
And that’s where Filoni’s problem lies:
Filoni is good at writing cartoons. And before people raise their pitchforks, I don’t mean this in a negative way. Writing cartoons forces you to squish complex ideas into a digestible format, the genre needs simplification and caricature to work and doing that well is a talent all by itself.
You’re meant to put in some extra effort to suspend your disbelief in order to enjoy the deeper complexities of the story. Where that stops working though is when you step out of the genre and move into live action and our good buddy Dave doesn’t seem to realize that.
It may admittedly sound like I’m being unnecessarily harsh on him and I probably am but I do realize the guy is just doing what he does best. I doubt he has any real beef with neurodivergents or has no actual clue that militaries need a base level of competence in order to function and thrive.
Neither is he the only one guilty of implying the Empire’s competent staff can be counted on the fingers of one hand. “It’s just so different for them to have a bad guy that’s, you know, actually smart with how he uses the Imperial war machine!” Okay, Dave. Sure Dave. “[…] with the exception of Tarkin – Tarkin’s strategically intelligent” Oh so there’s two of them! (okay okay, I’ll stop here)
My point is, you can’t get away with making the antagonists so stupid in a realistic setting. I recently saw someone compare Kenobi and Andor in terms of portraying your antagonists correctly and I have to agree that Andor is the only star wars live action media in recent memory that gets it right. (Though even Andor is guilty of injecting some stupid into its plot in order to enable implausible events to happen. I’m looking at you, Maarva’s speech.)
Because the thing is, the more bumbling and idiotic you make your antagonists, the more it detracts from the efforts and skills of your protagonists when defeating them. The Empire is sprawling and all powerful, so much so that it takes several force users pulling deus ex machinas out of their ass to bring it down. In conjunction with the extreme dedicated efforts of the Rebellion mind you.
It took a timely coincidence of hubris, political corruption and flawed strategy working together to allow it to happen. Give me media that explores why the Empire endured for so long, the mechanisms in place that made ordinary people turn into cogs of the machine, the selective process behind constructing an absolutely ruthless, dangerous leadership, media that looks at how these same conditions can come about in our world rather than the unrealistic explanation of ‘people bad because bad’.
Zahn, Gilroy, Luceno and many others are examples of writers that do this justice. Pass the baton on to Filoni and you end up with an antagonist who’s smart as an exception because ‘he’s just so quirky’ while still bearing all the hallmarks of a cartoon villain, the ominous gloating speeches and sadistic behaviour and whatnot.
I’d be hella remiss to say it hasn’t left its mark on the fandom either. The amount of times I’ve seen characters like Tarkin, Krennic, Palpatine, etc. be moronified (while Thrawn inevitably gets his victim treatment) while completely ignoring the fact that defeating them was no small feat and their having weaknesses to exploit isn’t something that detracts from just how dangerous and scary these motherfuckers were.
The Clone Wars was a good show. Rebels was a good show. But by god is Filoni bad at transferring his skills to live action and no one can convince me that Thrawn isn’t the best example of that.
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Rant about my sweet boy Tommy Kinard.
So if you are one of those “OmG JuMp ScArE” or “im blocking you for posting a picture of Tommy”
Just go ahead and scroll or block me, idc.
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I’m going to start this off by when i first started watching 911 and we shall go from there.
I started watching 911 in 2020 when covid started and it was senior year of high school so we were doing NTI.
I stopped watching it specifically on the episode where they responded to the guy at the car place getting blown up like a balloon.
Why?
Because I couldn’t stand how Buck was treating Eddie.
It was generally pissing me off how Buck was so ‘jealous’ of Eddie in the beginning because he was ‘better’ than him and was able to do things he couldn’t.
Because thats how life is, there is always going to someone who comes into your work space and knows how to do it better than you no matter how long you have worked there.
And yes its a Tv show, i know.
I picked up watching 911 in late 2023 and finished where i left off, so forgive me if what i said wasnt quite accurate.
I literally stopped watching in the middle of that episode and picked right back up in the middle of that episode three years later and never re-watched S1-S2.
I genuinely just forgot i had even started watching it and i knew why i stopped but figured i would give it another try.
I also kept seeing it on my fyp on tik tok and figured i just had to watch his character development.
———-
So what gets me so aggravated about Tommy is when i see and edit of him then it switches to Eddie and i open the comments and everyone is like:
“Omg put a jump scare warning”
“I was abt to block you”
“Ew temu”
“Get him off my screen”
If you dont want to see Tommy then stop watching 911????
When Tommy was introduced in 911 he obviously was an unlikable character.
No one likes a sexist, racist, homophobic.
And I understand why we wouldnt like him.
He was working under Gerrad and we all know how Gerrad is if he were to not follow along with his fellow crew then he would wouldnt of been able to go on calls and would get stuck on cleaning duty.
The whole “he didnt have to follow in their footsteps”
Thats all he could really do back then.
He was introduced as a bad character.
But
Character development.
Haha i like doing the small to big text.
Anyways.
He left the 118 and went to harbor. We had years of not seeing/hearing from him other then that time when Chimney called him.
Obviously he had character development helping Chim.
Dude couldnt stand him in the beginning. Even when Chim carried him out of the building that one time.
So in that time he had time to change his view of things and im sure if was able ro go back in the past and change how he acted he would.
Why?
For Buck.
Both Tommy and Buck had major character development and thats what we like to see!
If we all love Buck now why cant we love Tommy too?
I do hope see Buck learning how Tommy treated Chim and Hen. Yeah Buck will be upset but he will see how Tommy has changed since then.
Gerrad will probably have something to do with that.
Buch changed.
Tommy changed.
——-
People also need to learn
Actor vs character
Lou is NOT Tommy.
He portrays Tommy.
Just because an actor plays a character you dont like doesn’t mean you need to go say hatful things about them.
Lou would never say or do anything racist or sexist.
And if he did/does the internet isnt going to let that slide.
Like come on, we know once something gets said the whole internet will know.
Isnt that right Ryan? (He apologized i know)
And not everyone likes apologies but the thing is people pick and choose if an apology is accepted or not. So either way if someone apologizes it might not even matter in the end.
The internet is going to be the internet.
You dont have to agree with me this was just a rant.
I probably missed somethings i was going to say or maybe i said somethings that are wrong.
Oh well. 
——-
Im going to go clean now. My brain hurts.
#911#911 fandom#911 cast#911 fox#evan buckley#oliver stark#911 abc#tommy kinard#lou ferrigno jr#911 show#911 discussion#911 rant#911 discourse#911 season 8#911 season eight#ryan guzman#eddie diaz
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I honestly think the fandom is focusing all their unhinged fury at you because they constantly need someone to be a villain. First anyone who was a critic as a racist/sexist/homophobe. Then Erin came out about SH and suddenly she was the evil mastermind eating babies and trying to destroy their precious show. Then Ken came out and they were now the comically evil boogeyman of the week. Kedi got shit for defending the victims who came forward. Tracy and Goose are apparently villains now simply for existing in Viv’s field of view.
They always need a ghoulishly evil strawman to sling mud at and divert attention from the increasingly apparent fact that Viv is an awful writer and an even worse person. They’ve sunk years of emotional investment into what ultimately amounted to a huge letdown and for some people it’s just easier to double down than reconsider their original position. So they choose to make it someone else’s fault.
Erin’s gone. Ken is mostly just doing their thing. Kedi is doing their thing. Tracy and Goose refuse to engage with them. So they reach for the nearest possible thing and there’s you. You refuse to let everything Viv’s done get swept under the rug and that’s inconvenient to her and her stans so they’re making you the center of their next hate campaign. It’s the sort of behavior Viv has groomed them into because she refuses to be an adult for five seconds and tell them to knock it off.
Idk how she doesn’t see how bad it looks for her to sit back and allow this kind of behavior. Obviously she can’t control what her fans do, but refusing to denounce objectively repugnant behavior is not a good look.
I think you're 100% right. They need a supervillain for their own comfort, need to believe that if I just stop talking about this or go away, then criticism of Vivzie will too.
They don't realize that Vivienne Medrano's glaring flaws as a writer and a person will exist even if every critic currently shining a light on them disappears, and it will only be a matter of time before someone else notices and speaks up. No matter how hard they try, they can't protect her from herself.
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I’ve been noticing a lot of actresses of color getting cast in roles traditionally played by or previously described as white women. And I see a lot of people arguing for or against this. I also think people are asking the wrong question.
To preface this, I want to say that the actual casting doesn’t matter to me. I don’t completely fit traditional Hollywood standards myself. As long as the actress fits the role, I couldn’t care less. But I am somewhat concerned about the intentions behind it. There are certainly exceptions to this, but a major trend right now is changing the leading woman to an actress of color, usually a black actress, and keeping the male leads white. Some famous examples of this are Percy and Annabeth in the Percy Jackson series, Alina and Kirigan in Shadow and Bone, Ariel and Eric in the latest Little Mermaid adaption, and, most recently, Hiccup and Astrid from the live-action How To Train Your Dragon.
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I think it’s great that young girls of color have characters on screen they can relate to and look up to. So do young white boys, but that’s never been a problem. Young white girls still have plenty of examples outside of this trend. Tbh I think there’s a lack of representation for young boys of color, but I’ll save that for another time.
So, again, I’ve been asking myself why the big studios worth billions keep casting young women and girls of color in leading roles, inevitably sparking controversy. The good answer would be because they are committed to diversity, but for an industry so greedy, that, unfortunately, seems unlikely. When asking why the entertainment industry does anything, the answer is almost always money.
Controversy starts discussions. Any publicity is good publicity; the public will advertise for you, even if they’re spewing hate. And who’s more used to hate than women of color? They deal with the sexists and the racists. And a studio making white people feel threatened will always breed hate. My thinking is they are purposefully throwing these young women under the bus so that they can pat themselves on the back for being inclusive and get some free advertising. Women of color are taught that they need to be particularly grateful for these opportunities, and they have a responsibility to represent their intersectional demographic. So they take the hate, and don’t complain.
To be clear, I’m definitely not saying we should stop casting women of color in traditionally white roles - I’m quite excited to see Nico Parker in How to Train Your Dragon; I was blown away by her small yet powerful role in The Last of Us. I’m saying it’s crucial to examine why these decisions are being made, who benefits from fueling controversy, and who we point fingers at.
If you read all this - thank you so much. If you have any thing to add, I would love to hear it, just please remain kind and respectful.
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#nico parker#how to train your dragon#halle bailey#the little mermaid#jessie mei li#shadow and bone#leah jeffries#percy jackson#the last of us#controversy#racisim#race-reversed casting#racebending#discourse#movie discourse#cast#casting
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The Problem of Intent
I think it might be time to publish this again, from my old Dowsing blog.
The Problem of Intent
I woke up this morning thinking about the word “intent,” as I have been off and on for some time. My ruminations finally solidified yesterday after watching an episode of Red Table Talk on Facebook (another reason I haven’t been back here in a while—Facebook, not Red Table Talk). It’s a good episode with Chelsea Handler talking with Jada Pinkett Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Jones about white privilege and parts of it are really painful to watch, mostly the bits from Handler’s documentary, in which she interviews white women, mostly poor and conservative, about whether they think white privilege exists (they don’t). Handler’s own previous dumbassery on the subject is also pretty painful, but she’s getting it right now, and that’s what matters most.
But there’s a point in the video where she tells a story on herself, illustrating her former dumbassery and the person who calls her out said, “It’s not about the intention, it’s about the reception.” A little further on, Handler acknowledges that white people don’t want to learn because it’s uncomfortable to learn not to be an asshole or a bigot to other people, “you gotta go head first into deep things and get in trouble and say stupid things to learn how to say smarter things.” All of which is true. Not just say smarter things, but know smarter things, I would add. The process of learning to be a good ally to people who don’t have your privilege is hard and embarrassing and upsetting. It’s heartbreaking and guilt-making to realize you’ve been walking through the world hurting people (if you’re not a Rethuglican who enjoys that kind of thing; but I digress).
And then Jada Pinkett Smith says that key thing that I’ve been thinking about for ages now: “I think we gotta make some room for people to say stupid stuff sometimes,” because racism has been going on for so long that most of it is unconscious now. People don’t realize they’re being racist unless it’s pointed out to them (and that’s where other white people need to get off their asses; it’s not Black people’s job to do that). She continues, “Not every—you know, not every action is racist.” So while it may feel racist to the object of the action, it may not to the actor and it may not have that intent behind it.
This is why intent matters—also. Not by itself, but in addition to reception. Because if we are doing our damnedest to be a good friend and generous person, to do the right thing, to not be racist, sexist, bigoted, insensitive, ableist, oblivious to the experiences of others, and we fuck up along the way as we inevitably will, a little compassion helps fuel the struggle for everyone. There’s a mental health element to this too, and Handler prefaces her part of the discussion with what seems at first like her irrelevant experiences in therapy to make this point. She spends a long time talking about her own struggles with pain and anger and how realizing that her anger was the result of the pain she was in was the thing that broke her open, finally, and got some real work done. When we’re operating primarily on a foundation of pain (and here I walked away to go make my bed, because, yanno, pain), then the world becomes our enemy. Everyone becomes our enemy. Everyone is out to hurt us, to insult us, to fuck with us, plotting against us to make us miserable, being mean to us. Everything everyone says or does to us that hurts us (and when we’re already in pain, this doesn’t generally take a lot) is intentional. Because people are bad and mean and hurtful and fuck all ya’ll anyway. I hate people.
And that’s clearly bullshit. It feels right when we’re hurting, and damn if there aren’t days when I get up in the morning and look at the news and thinkWhat the ever loving fuck is wrong with you people?about nearly everyone in the world after seeing all the hurt we do each other. But to think the whole world is your enemy, that every person you meet, every friend you make, will ultimately betray and hurt you creates a huge number of problems and solves nothing. First, believing we are somehow important enough for all the individuals in our lives (never mind the rest of the world) to spend their time machinating about how to hurt us is one of the best examples of narcissism I can think of, and utterly delusional. That’s like gaslighting yourself. It’s also an example of flawed perceptions and expectations. It’s our expectations of others, ultimately, that wound us: expecting perfection, expecting an intimate and automatic understanding of our POV, expecting unearned unconditional love, expecting all the attention. Love people as you find them, and if they, in their own pain and rage, hurt you, love them from a distance.
Worse than this, though, is that anticipating injury from other people assures that this is all we’ll ever get from them. Ever. Because everything they do will be an injury to us if we fail to see their intent and their focus. One of the last times my mom came to visit me here in New York, we were walking along the street and she said, in what was clearly a revelatory moment for her, “wow, people are really so focused on themselves that they don’t really pay attention to anyone else.” This was coming from a woman who agonized over what other people might think of her if she went out without looking perfectly dressed, perfectly coiffed, perfectly dignified, who was painfully self-conscious about how her disability made her look. I wish she had had more time to enjoy the liberation of that revelation. Because she was right about that. People are all dealing with their own pain, their own stuff, their own troubles, and hurting or judging you is not a high priority on their to-do list.
Unless they are so wrapped up in their own pain that they are going to lash out first, and there are some people who are that hurt, that broken. It’s good to remember that it’s still really not about you in those circumstance; if they are hurting and judging you, what they see in you that they hate is almost always what they hate or feel insecure about themselves. Those folks have a lot of work to do that you can’t do for them; all you can do is wish them well and get out of range. Because in their pain, they create more of it. This is what intentional, unexamined and institutional racism and sexism does to people. It creates a cycle of pain that needs work to be broken.
Again, this is why intent matters. If I’m hurting you out of maliciousness that’s one thing; I need a slap upside the head and a boot in the rear. If I’m hurting you out of my own pain, that’s more understandable but still not excusable; I’ve got some work to do on myself, then, and owe you an apology and an effort to do better. But if I’m hurting you by accident, because I’m learning to do better and still making mistakes, cut me a break please. Work with me. Call me out, by all means. I can’t learn if I don’t know I’ve screwed up. If it’s really egregious, don’t spare your anger. I can’t rightly ask you to do that and I probably deserve it. But don’t use my mistake to make judgments about what kind of person I am at the core, because then you’re doing the same thing that bigots do. If you think I’m the kind of person who would intentionally hurt others, then we already have a problem of perception and reception on your end. And that’s bad intent.
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i can’t fall asleep so let me tell you all a story of a little girl named iris.
when iris was nine, she went to bed one day as she always did. it was a friday, the day before a holiday, and she was excited to go to her grandparents the next day to celebrate. iris of course, never had much in common with her cousins on either side, but she enjoyed her grandmother’s cooking and just listening to people talk. of course, she would have to put up with her father, a racist, homophobic and sexist man, and he would probably get drunk and force them all to get in the car while he drove the family home. that of course being her mother and brother, and her dog, who went to event with them.
upon iris’s awakening, she was being yelled at for waking up too late, and needing to rush to get ready. she of course, was never taught how to get properly washed or how to brush her teeth on her own, having just been told to figure it out at a young age, and then her anxiety would not allow her to ask for instruction or help. so of course, iris took her time to make sure she was actually clean. this was not something her father liked, as being late was apparently more important that his daughter having proper hygiene. so as she was brushing her teeth, her father stormed into the bathroom and ripped the toothbrush from her mouth and said to hurry it up. iris of course, scared of him, simply asked for the tooth brush back. of course, her father did not like the idea that she could possibly have her own feeling about this and began hitting her for “talking back”. she ran from him and hid in her room, crying for being abused, but he followed and continued his torment. iris had finally had enough and said the only thing she could think of to possibly get him off of her, even if only for a second in shock.
so iris said “i want to be a girl”.
coming out at 9 was not something iris was sure was a good idea. she was labeled a boy at birth, with no questions asked of her own opinion on the matter, and had always thought that she never quite felt like she was a boy. of course, when she has seen girl characters in games or anime growing up she would always sympathize or cherish them, not as some crush symptom (although that did develop later) but as a form of jealousy. so she concluded, around the age of 8 that she wanted to be girl, not knowing that she already was one.
of course, this story doesn’t have a very happy ending. saying this only stopped her father for a moment, until the beating began anew and even more harsh than before. she was dragged downstairs on the carpet and wooden floor (that she had already fallen down before and broke her arm on), essentially thrown in front of her mother and brother and screamed at. iris of course doesn’t recall the exact words said, but tears from her mother she’d and her brother looked sick a tiny bit, at least to her in the moment, it seemed that she was the cause of all of this turmoil.
upon finally all being together (and a momentary lapse in memory due to a blockage of iris’s memory of how bad it was) the family took the time to not go to her grandparents. instead, they drove iris all the way to the church that she was “baptized” in, brought in front of the stairs by her father, and told that it’s against what “god” wants from her to be a girl, and that she was disgusting and sick. and that if she didn’t take back what she had said, that things would get a lot worse. iris of course, being as scared as she had ever been in her life, pleaded with her father, that she just wanted to say something to shock him and make him stop hitting her, and said it wasn’t true and that s-she was a b-boy…
her father, happy with this news, made her swear on it (something extremely scary for the nine year old girl) and then took her back to the car, where she apologized for “lying” about this and took it back once again as a “joke” in front of her family. iris doesn’t have much memory beyond this of being happy for most of her life of course, as she spent the rest of her youth trying her best to convince everyone that she definitely was a “boy”, and ruined many friendships by lashing out.
…
iris, came out again in 2021, after the first year of the pandemic, to a few of her close friends at the time, but of course, was unsure of if she was making the right choice, and allowed them to call her the name that was chosen against her will, instead of just saying to call her the name that actually made her happy. she started hrt in 2022 at the age of 25, at the behest of her girlfriend, who is trans herself. she hid that she was on hrt for two years from her father that she was forced to still live with, until only 5 months before she escaped, with the help of many true friends.
iris has nightmares of the terrible acts committed on her by her father, at least once a week, although they have been less frequent in recent months.
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UHHHHHHHHH IM SO SORRY I KNOW CURIOSITY ALWAYS KILLS THE CAT BUT PLEASE I BEG ONLY LIKE. REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS OF MINE READ UNDER THE CUT I JUST NEED TO SCREAM TO THE VOID CHENEHSNSJSNS
For a good while now I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that my friends on here would be better off without me- and like I KNOW that’s the depression talking but that doesn’t make it any less. Y’know. Prevalent BXBSHSNWJ like I can’t stop thinking about how I just do Not deserve any of the praise I get in the slightest or how I always seem to inevitably hurt my close friends one way or another and how I need to be a better friend etc etc etc etc etc
And I’m SURE a lot of that has been a result of my parents splitting up but I’m trying to walk backwards and figure out where the source of this random bout of depression mightve come from and I really really hate to say it but like. I think it might’ve come from what thr fuck happened to me on twitter
Like. Man. I was sexually harassed via having literal porn spammed through my DM’s, peer pressured by somebody I didn’t even know into sending my very private TikTok login information including my phone number and location, and then they all turned around and called me a liar because I couldn’t provide proof and they had their followers publically make fun of me for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT- that shit really, really fucks with you man
The worst part is watching Jiao go off to her followers days later with the most woe-is-me post crying about how everyone just wants to harrass her and how she’s just an innocent twitter user 🥺🥺 meanwhile she is (apparently) STILL doing the EXACT SAME THINGS to people to this day. But nobody has the guts to call her out because she has a large following and anyone who does is just automatically racist and sexist
I don’t think it’s very fair that I’ve been left with trauma that, to this day, months later is affecting the relationships around me- and again I’m sure most of this is just. An unfortunate mixture of the constant stress I currently live in with my parents splitting up and general depression/suicidal thoughts but as far as I can tell that’s where the origin is from
But tldr I’m sorry if I ever get randomly sad on here BCNEHWNEUENSI no matter how hard I try I just. Physically CANNOT shake the feeling that the friends I’ve made on here would be infinitely better without me no matter how hard I try, and asking for reassurance otherwise seems very silly on my end BXBEBWNJENDXIDK
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I tried to explain this to my friend and seemed like she understood but in short….
Patrick Bateman > Hannibal Lecter > Dennis Reynolds.
Patrick Bateman is actually a guy who is just a monster for funzies. He simply is not there. He directly tells people several times in the books that he has killed someone, that he eats people, that he is sexually violent, but he’s the boy next store. He’s the perfect American Boy™ who clearly just has an odd sense of humor. He confesses several times and yet he gets away with it all. He’s wealthy enough to constantly get into exclusive restaurants, and has great connections. Patrick attends many social events, and is around other people who care just as much about having the ideal business card, all while secretly raping, killing, eating people, etc. He is the blueprint for men of his kind, and also just a girl with a skin care routine. Hannibal and Dennis both wish they could get to this level.
Sure Hannibal can vaguely allude to his extracurricular activities of enforced cannibalism, and the like, but he can’t actually say it. He can make over complex metaphors, but Hannibal cannot just confess like Bateman so often does. He’s also not treated with the same level of acceptance that Bateman receives. His dinner parties also aren’t nearly as extravagant as Bateman describes his being, yes Hannibal may be doing them by himself but that further illustrates him as an outlier. He’s also referred to as hosting often, meaning he likely wouldn’t go to many events if he did not host. There’s not a place for him, so instead he carves out the space for himself, the spot for Bateman is already there neatly aligned with many other similar spots. Bateman’s friends hold the same beliefs that lead to his depravity, they are also racist, classist, homophobic and sexist, there’s no proof that they aren’t also “performing” humanity in the same way he does, in fact many things to point to this being the case. Hannibal also has the added weakness of loving and caring for someone, Patrick would never care for anyone other than himself. As much that Hannibal in the show doesn’t think his trauma influenced his crimes, it certainly does. Hannibal wouldn’t eat people if Mischa wasn’t eaten first. No matter what canon you go off of, at the end of the day Hannibal is just a man who’s trying to forget what happened. He was meant to protect her, and in the end he benefited from her death by being able to live after she couldn’t.
Dennis is always called out on his implication bullshit. He cares about his friends, he helps Charlie with Day Man, is overwhelmed with joy by the rocket launcher from Mac, and is occasionally there for Dee. He’s also doing it because he wants Frank’s validation and is the world’s biggest mamas boy. Dennis is the most common version of this kind of man, whereas Bateman is at the purest form, Hannibal lies in between.
hope that makes sense
#iasip#hannibal#american psycho#patrick bateman#media comparison#i’m insane#gnawing on the bars of my enclosure
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using ur own words, “the internet is not a place that’s just yours” so yah. there’s gonna be people on here that ship things u don’t like. did u know there’s real facists on this very website saying actual real facist things? oh but the fictional character is the most pressing matter? do u even fucking hear urself
for a fandom that’s so keen on being respectful yall share a lot of negative messages to others. have i ever insulted you guys? or did i just share an opinion that you don’t like?
and don’t worry about me, i spend a lot of time arguing with real facists as well! and there’s a big difference between arguing about opinions we all on certains topics and being hateful i think you need to learn that.
i do hear myself loud and clear and if you actually read what i wrote you would as well. because if the sexist and borderline racist people i’m complaining about are not you, then the post doesn’t concern you so please grow up and learn about to deal with other people’s views
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🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮
Hiiiiii i’m so excited for these fics you’re a amazing writer! 💚💚💚
HI! THANK YOU! ILY!
Here are 18 fresh sentences for 🚨:
---
That’s never good, right? Maybe Eddie regrets what he asked for last night and just wants to clarify that it’s never going to happen again. That would fucking suck. It would be somewhat crushing. But Buck could handle it. He can handle whatever because Eddie is alive, and he very nearly wasn’t, and anything other than that feels like a miraculous bonus.
“Sure,” Buck mutters, holding his body tensely. “Sure, we can, uh, talk.”
“Thank you,” Eddie exhales. “I’m going to get going then.”
“Uh, you sure you’re good to drive yourself?” Buck asks. “I mean, you went through a lot, and if you’re tired... I can take you to your appointment.”
Eddie shakes his head.
“This is something I’ve got to do alone. I’ll be fine.”
What the fuck does that mean?
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18 for 🌊:
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In the days since, he’s only been met with silence and read receipts. He hurt Buck. Badly. Unintentionally. He failed to act when it mattered, and now? Now Buck thinks something that definitely isn’t true. Eddie’s not exactly sure what Buck thinks, but he knows it can’t possibly reflect the way he feels. If it did, he’d answer the phone.
There’s no time to deal with that now, though. Now, a storm is rolling in, and Eddie and his team are all hands on deck.
With Chris in Houston, he’s pretty much living at the station, accepting all the overtime he can. He’s boarded up his house, done everything he can to protect it. Beyond that, the best he can do is for the city and its residents. Apparently, if things get bad enough, the city will cease EMS operations for the safety of the paramedics. That was never a risk in El Paso. The thought is kind of mind boggling. But Eddie did this work amidst enemy gunfire. He can operate in high pressure, dangerous conditions.
---
18 for ⚡️:
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“Let’s take a walk around the block,” Buck tells them. His mouth is a tight, unimpressed line. Eddie wants to pull him away from all of this.
Buck doesn’t wait for them to reply. He turns and begins walking to the backyard gate. Margaret and Phillip exchange an uneasy look before taking off after him. Eddie hopes he maintains the air of authority, the upper hand, that he has in this exact moment.
Sighing, a beer in each hand, Eddie walks back across the yard to reclaim his seat beside Bobby. He feels a dull ache behind his temples.
“You didn’t have to be a prophet, you know,” Eddie grumbles at Bobby as he slumps into his seat.
“You can call me Captain Oracle from here on out,” Bobby replies smugly. “And in your future, a conversation with an unhappy bride.”
“What?” Eddie asks. He looks over his shoulder to see Maddie striding towards him, expression pinched. Uh oh. “Maddie, hi.”
“Did my parents ambush you?”
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18 for 🔮:
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“Then why isn’t she?” He asks. “I mean, if you knew you were leaving… You could have prepared her. She would have passed the test for a permanent captaincy no problem.”
Bobby swallows. “You’re right. I’m sure she would have.”
“Then why?” Buck asks. “Why are we stuck here with some sexist, racist, homophobic pig who none of us respect a-and who is making it miserable to be there?”
Bobby’s throat feels tight.
“I didn’t know they’d bring in Gerrard,” Bobby says. “He was moved for the very same reasons you’re saying now. He’s the last person I expected to replace me.”
“Clearly the LAFD doesn’t actually care,” Buck says. “But I know you care. So why leave us in the lurch, Bobby?”
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hello! I have many different names, but the one you can call me when in doubt is cleo!
This blog is a place for me to post about agere imagines, agere content, and my own journey with being a regressor!
I will also post vent content. If that doesn’t interest you/triggers you, all vents will be tagged with #vent #faevents #agere vent for your filtering preferences.
Key things you should know about me:
I’m 21 years old
I am polygender (they/she) and hate being called ma’am but don’t mind being called feminine pet names (e.g. princess, babygirl, etc.) (I prefer it 🥰)
I’m plus size (not that it should really matter)
I have ADHD, ASD, OCD, GAD, Major Depressive Disorder, Dermatillomania, Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder, cPTSD, Social Anxiety Disorder, and synesthesia
I’m bisexual and write about both men and women as daddy caregivers (women can be daddies, too!)
Now, recall that I said I go by many names. Here’s why:
I discovered I was autistic about a year ago. Since then, things have really changed for me. I’ve started to realize that things I’ve done in the past are actually just autistic traits, such as masking. I’m extremely high masking and would often attach names to certain “masks” I would put on around certain people. This habit has been going on for some time now and has persisted even into my regression journey, which only started becoming a huge deal over the past few months. I ended up associating different regression states/headspaces with names/temperaments, so that’s why I go by many names.
I’ll introduce them to you in a moment, but I want to clarify something right off the bat: I DO NOT HAVE DID. Dissociative Identity Disorder is a very different disorder that I am very passionate about advocating for, and I DO NOT want anyone to misconstrue my situation for something as complex as that. I’m simply on the spectrum, used to be a theatre kid, and have masked 95% of my entire life. Regardless of which name I sign off as, it’s still me, but please be aware that each name has a different age and temperament attached to it (that’s why I’m doing this in the first place.) Talking to me in my little space like I’m an adult can be very triggering.
Cleo 🍯🥀👻🐈⬛
Cleo is me when I’m big (so me writing this post). Posts signed off/on as Cleo indicate being an adult or mostly big. Posts will have appropriate grammar as I have a hyperfixation on it lol.
I (and the other headspaces) have a huge disconnect from our humanity/human bodies, so we don’t feel human. As the name of this blog suggests, I feel like a fairy or some kind of fae creature. Weird, I know, but a lot of people with autism have this same struggle.
I’ll make a get to know me post(s) in the future
Fae 🫧🌼🦋🍃
When I’m positively triggered into age regressing
Age range changes a lot but more likely to be a younger little
Jinn 🌙🐦⬛🍄🖤
When I’m negatively triggered into age regressing
Age range changes a lot especially depending on how triggered I am
Jinn does most of the venting
Sephie 🐶🌸🍬🧸
When I’m very little or even nonverbal
Probably won’t post too much when in my Sephie headspace, but if I do, it’ll probably just be images
I won’t respond to any comments in this headspace as I’m too young
(Short for Persephone)
That’s it!
I’ll make a trigger list eventually and tag it here.
Oh and also: it’s a shame I have to even say this, but DNI if you are racist, sexist, transphobic, terf, homophobic, antisemitic, Islamophobic, Zionist, ableist, view age regression in a s3xually expl!cit/n.sfw manner, or any other bigotry not mentioned here. It’s not hard to respect others, so if you can’t do that as a bare minimum, then I don’t want you here.
THIS BLOG IS SFW 13+!
Don’t make me uncomfy.
banner by nkitti!
#safe agere#agere#lgbt agere#autism agere#agere blog#agere community#agere caregiver#agere little#sfw caregiver#sfw littlespace#sfw interaction only#sfw agere#sfw regression#sfw little blog#sfw little community#sfw little post#age regression#age re safe space#age regressor#age regressive#age re blog#age re caregiver#little space#bisexual#autism#lgbtqia#trauma#nonhuman#otherkin
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I think a good chunk if not most of our generation has tanked our mental health largely due to being so concerned that we’re always saying the right things, doing the right things, never making mistakes, and never being Morally WrongTM that we’re losing the ability to live in the moment and take things as they go.
I’m thinking of this because I just put on a 60s radio playlist to draw to and the top comment boiled down to “these artists are good but they were probably all racist, sexist, homophobic, and pro-war ://” like... okay?? I don’t really think that was necessary or productive to think about and it concerns me that this isn’t even a rare mindset to have anymore. I feel like folks have become a different kind of cop to themselves where every action and thought must be thoroughly scanned for any possible sign of harm, even indirect and disconnected by 16 degrees. And I can’t help but feel that it just... doesn’t matter that much from a practical standpoint.
Just listen to 60s radio pop songs, man. There’s no need to obsess over if every single artist passes some level of moral correctness, that sounds like an absolutely exhausting level of self-vetting that nothing is going to realistically meet at the end of the day. Just live your life, do your best, and if you slip up on something, deal with it in the moment and move on, there’s no need to create a borderline agoraphobia in yourself over whether everything you do is CorrectTM enough and play out every possible domino effect in your head before you let yourself do anything.
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Seeing posts on the dash that r like “reminder that every Dracula character would be racist and sexist and homophobic and would hate you specifically” and I’m like. Yeah. We know. But we also like to take characters and go “but what if they were Like Me, Instead” and spit on the author’s grave Cause the fact of the matter is that people Like You (whether you’re gay, trans, intersex, a poc, of a minority religion, etc) have always existed. White literature didn’t depict them much, because Society. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to say “fuck that, actually, I see the potential for a story With People Like Me In It in here, even if it wasn’t meant to be that way, and the public domain is free for the taking”
Does the fandom have problems with racism and sexism and various -phobias? Absofuckinglutely. This is tumblr. Sometimes people on here are stupid. But when it comes to people who are having ultimately harmless fun saying “how would the story be different if this character was a person like me?” just like. Let them do that.
Also the same “ohhh they’d hate you cause they’re From The Past” argument could be applied to almost any historical media lol. If you’re a fan of other white-authored classics and you think that it’s a Cool Argumentative Point to say that the Dracula characters would hate their fandom then…buddy idk what to tell you but by your logic then every white character from earlier than the 1980s would be the same way. But shocker, people don’t like being told that their blorbos would hate crime them. Let people play with their fictional blorbos so long as they’re not being actually harmful. Some Dracula fandom problems ARE an issue (ex. people being ableist about Renfield and to a lesser extent Jonathan, people prioritizing Jonathan over Mina, people not questioning the hidden xenophobia in the original Dracula character when they’re creating their own adaptations, etc). however if someone is like ��what if Mina was a WOC” or “what if Quincey was gay” then like. they are just doing the public domain equivalent of tumblrites playing with jpegs like dolls, trying to see themselves in a story that originally left them out of it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/10beaf2dcf26c4f488ab146d8f5df574/72b2c61e71c8674d-7e/s540x810/270908f34b5ecf3b06ac1a9e55fa330930129c37.jpg)
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I was once told that due to how the MHA world is structured and how the stations of canon worked, the only way for Bakugou to get actual character development is if it's entirely internal. So everything has to happen at the pace at which Teenage Boys actually become, potentially, decent people/normal adults.
Thoughts?
I think that’s a pretty way to try and go ‘of course he isn’t a good person but it doesn’t matter that he hurts other people give him time without actually doing anything’.
It’s also… okay I am sorry to say this to whoever thought it up but that is dumb. Every person has to go through internal change to become someone different. It’s not just because the world is different. We have to choose to want to change to actually change. And half the time the reason we want to change is external!
You can give lip service. I’ve known some people who are racist/sexist who still hold their beliefs but don’t talk about it because the people around them go ‘oh fuck that’ and punish them. By scolding, ignoring them- these things are how people are motivated to change. When they experience negative reactions to their own attitudes.
Sometimes it includes the realization you’re wrong. Sometimes it doesn’t.
Bakugou has never had to face a reason to want to change. He never has anything bad happen to him because of his attitude, so he has no internal reason to want to.
So to say it will all be internal change and that it’s going to be slow so ‘oh don’t expect a punishment’ is… kinda just making excuses and refusing to address the issues.
Now I know someone is going to try a gotcha about ‘what about black sheep’s of the family who change away from them even if they haven’t had bad things happen to them’ like how some kids growing up in a family where casual cruelty is normal don’t like it.
How do you think they figure out it’s wrong? They observe society and see how different things are!
Why the hell would Bakugou want to change if he doesn’t experience negative anything for his actions? Why would he have to?
But even then, I’m not saying I want an instant change with Bakugou. I’ve laid out how I wished his character development went and it is a slow one. He has to want to change, has to make that internal change. Even then I wouldn’t mind reading a fic where he just gives lip service and is still an angry violent person.
Change takes time. Saying it takes longer for teenage boys is the same energy as going ‘he just likes you’ when a boy is bullying a girl. When someone is screaming at his wife all the time it’s ’that’s how he is, he doesn’t mean it’.
It’s a cop out on trying to actually have Bakugou change to be a better person.
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