#Or maybe that’s me being dramatic. Who fucking knows
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ldrfanatic · 1 day ago
Note
oh AND if thats not too much, from a different angle, can i also request, also for theodore nott, prompts f12 and l13? 🌟🌟 im all for mirrorball the archer reader hehe and i looove this whole lyric prompt idea!! 🤍
all i do is try, try, try
theodore nott x fem!reader
f12 - "I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me"
l13 - "Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?"
p.s. i'm adding the following line - "i've never been a natural, all i do is try, try, try."
synopsis - when you start to push theodore away, he knows something is wrong. but maybe he'll be the first one to fight for you.
my bookcase slytherin boys masterpost
Tumblr media
theodore didn't confuse easily. sure, he was no hermione granger, but he liked to at least think that he was the smartest of his friend group. still, he couldn't for the life of him figure out why you seemed to be avoiding him the past few weeks.
your relationship was finally starting to get serious. so why now of all times would you possibly be avoiding him.
a dramatic huff left mattheo. "stop moping aurelius." his words were followed by a surprised yelp as pansy smacked him upside the head. "shut the hell up riddle. theo, if you're worried she's avoiding you, just ask her."
"i can't. every time i try to talk to her, she runs away from me."
pansy sighed. an internal battle was raging within her. she wanted to honor the girl code. and it was definitively not girl code to tell your homegirl's boyfriend when and where you'd be somewhere when he was precisely the bloke you were avoiding.
but she knew you. and she knew how good theo was to you. how good you were together. and it certainly had to be girl code to look out for your best friend's heart when she was too blindsided to do it herself, right?
"she'll be in the potions section of the library in..." she trailed off and took a quick glance at the clock. "exactly nine minutes. she asked me to meet her there at 7:30 but maybe..."
pansy didn't have to finish. theo had already jumped to his feet and was pulling his forest green jumper over his head. he had one shot to confront you. if this didn't work... who knows, really.
Tumblr media
pansy parkinson was dead fucking meat.
when you'd arrived the potions section at 7:30, at your usual study table, you'd expected to see the familiar dark hair and resting bitch face of your closest friend.
you had not expected to see your very handsome boyfriend who you were very much so avoiding. and you were most certain the only person who knew of your session tonight was pansy, thus she was the only person who could've mentioned anything to theo.
an internal sigh rolled through your being. it was going to be really fucking inconvenient to have to kill your favorite friend.
it wasn't that you were unhappy to see theo. in fact, in the days you'd been ignoring him, you'd missed him. significantly. but you were a fake. you had to try so hard at everything that should come naturally to you. being in slytherin, being a good student, hell even just being a fucking person felt like a never ending battle.
you couldn't stand the thought that one day theo might really look at you and burst his illusion of you. the thought that one day he may stop looking at you altogether? terrifying. it was easier for things to end this way, now.
one thing you hadn't anticipated is that theo is a true slytherin. when a slytherin wants something, they will stop at nothing to get it. there was nothing that could deter them. nothing that could stand in their way. and right now, what theo wanted more than anything, was you. ill conceived notions and insecurities be damned.
"you've been avoiding me, dolcezza."
theo's voice was deep and commanding. he really wanted to be soft and gentle with you, but your little disappearing act had scared the snake right out of his skin. and for that, he had to punish you at least a little.
"i haven't--"
"you have." theo stood abruptly and took a few strides towards you until your back was pressed against the bookcase behind you. "but that ends now."
shit.
shit.
theo was really close now. he had a certain look in his eyes, too. like he was a king cobra, and you a field mouse. theo was looking at you like he might consume you whole in one bite.
"i'm only going to ask you one more time." a large hand came up to palm at the back of your neck and your brain short-circuited. this man could have anything, anyone he wanted. and here he was with you. "why are you avoiding me?"
you wanted to be angry. to match his fire with fire. but you'd grown so tired of always pretending. all you could do now was cry. tears welled in your eyes and theo's demeanor changed very quickly.
"no, no, no. calma, baby." he cooed softly into your ear. his large arms circled around you in a rather warm bear hug. "don't cry."
"i'm so tired of pretending. and i'm sorry i can't be the smart popular cool girl that someone like you should be going out with."
theo's brows drew together in confusion. what on earth were you talking about? but when he really thought to himself, he saw it. the fake laughter and forced smiles in the great hall. the way that sometimes you had to try a little harder at certain assignments. you felt out of place.
at once, theo felt like a complete tosser. the one person that you should feel most at peace with was theo. and this whole time, he'd been oblivious to your internal plight. his heart broke a litte. how long had you been fighting this war against who you thought you should be, and who you really were?
"stop it." your tearful mumbling came to an end and theo could see in your eyes that you had all the wrong thoughts running through your pretty little head.
"you don't have to pretend with me. you don't have to fake anything. and there's nothing wrong with you for not being like everyone else. i was drawn to you because you're different." his words were thick with emotion, and you thought you saw his eyes get a little glassy. "it tears me up that you've been battling with yourself this whole time. i'm here to love you, y/n. please let me do that."
your mouth dropped open in shock. pushing people away had always been easy in the past. but theo wasn't finished with you.
"you can push and shove and scream at me to leave. you can argue with me, and we can fight, and you'll be right every time and you can call me names. and it's okay because i will still love you. but you don't get to turn away from something so perfect because you're afraid of the flaws that i already adore."
you stood there in his arms, tears slowly subsiding as you processed his words. every single one of them felt like they were reaching into the very core of you, unraveling the carefully constructed walls you had built. You could feel his warmth, his heartbeat, and suddenly, you weren’t so sure why you had been running. theo was here. Right in front of you. not just physically, but emotionally, too—offering something you didn’t even realize you wanted.
“i’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice breaking once more. “i didn’t think… i didn’t think anyone could love me like that. like you do.”
theo’s arms tightened around you, pulling you closer, as if to make sure you could feel his unwavering presence. “don’t apologize.” his voice was so soft now, the commanding tone from earlier gone, replaced with something much gentler. “you’ve always been more than enough for me.”
your heart raced as you looked up at him, his eyes filled with an earnestness that sent a shiver down your spine. you had spent so long doubting yourself, so long convincing yourself that you were unworthy of something like this. but here he was, offering you everything. love. acceptance. patience.
and for the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel like you had to run. the fight had left you. all that was left now was to surrender to him, to this love that you had been too afraid to fully embrace. you took a shaky breath, your hands gently curling into the fabric of his jumper as you leaned into him.
“i'm scared,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “i’m scared you’ll see all of me, and you won’t want to stay.”
theo cupped your face, his thumbs gently brushing away the remnants of your tears. “i’ve already seen you, dolcezza. all of you. and I’m not going anywhere.” his lips brushed against your forehead, a sweet, quiet promise.
you let out a shaky laugh, the weight in your chest beginning to lift. “i don’t know what i did to deserve you, theo.”
his response was simple, but it felt like everything: “you don’t have to deserve it. you just have to let me love you.”
you kissed him then, soft and slow, as if to seal the promise he’d just made. the kiss wasn’t a grand declaration, but a quiet, intimate thing—an understanding between the two of you that this was real, and it was enough.
theo wasn’t going anywhere. and neither were you.
maybe pansy parkinson could live.
74 notes · View notes
eggyrocks · 6 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
OVERNIGHT: SAKUSA K. in an empty bar on new year's eve, sakusa meets a girl, and he can't bring himself to say goodbye
Tumblr media
tags/warnings: sakusa x f!reader, meet cute, new years, strangers to lovers, timeskip, alcohol mention, ooc sakura, background atsuhina, flirting via gossip, just lonely people finding each other
word count: 3.4k
Tumblr media
It’s New Year's Eve, and Sakusa is alone. 
Unless you count Atsumu and Hinata, tucked into a corner and drunkenly singing into fake microphones (because the bar doesn’t offer real karaoke), to an eighties pop-ballad. Or the old man stoically sitting in a cracked leather booth, gripping a half-empty glass of scotch that it looks like he’s been drinking since the seventies. Or the bartender who has not once looked up from his phone in the past twenty minutes and would clearly rather be at a better bar. Or the girl who’s collapsed onto the bartop, face hidden by her arms and her second drink empty besides her. 
Which Sakusa doesn’t. So, he’s alone. 
If he had his way, he’d be at home. He would be asleep by the time the clock struck midnight, and he would wake up to the new year. But Sakusa doesn’t have his way, because apparently the words no, I don’t want to go out, don’t have the same weight they used to, and two idiots will show up at your door and drag you out, anyways. 
He looks over his shoulder. Two more hours until New Years, and Atsumu and Hinata are already drunk, arms sloppily thrown over each other’s shoulders, leaning on each other for support. Maybe Bokuto has the right idea, and getting into a serious relationship is the only sure-fire way to avoid nights like this. 
Sakusa glances over to the bartender, who’s adjusted his position so he could plug in his phone to charge. He then glances over to the old man, and it looks like he hasn’t moved an inch, but there’s definitely less scotch in his glass now. And then, he looks to his left, to the girl who’s face down at the bar.
Sakusa eyes her, a bit. He wonders if she’s okay, or if she’s just that drunk. This thought concerns him, and it annoys him. Because if she’s so drunk that she can’t sit up, it sort of becomes his problem. He can’t just leave her here, limp and unmoving in a sketchy bar with none of her friends around. 
He contemplates saying something to her, and has already decided against poking at her arm to try and rouse her. His mouth opens underneath his mask to say something, but Sakusa closes it. He doesn’t know what the proper thing is to say. 
“I can feel you staring at me,” comes a muffled voice from the lump of limbs that is the girl at the bar. “I’m not passed out, I’m just miserable.” 
Sakusa’s face heats up at the notion of being caught, and his shoulders stiffen up. “Um, okay,” he says. 
The girl straightens up, slightly groaning as she does so. When she turns to face Sakusa, he has the thought that she’s actually pretty, if you ignore the indents left on her face from it being pressed against the bar. “Are you here alone?” she asks. 
“No, I’m with them over there,” he says, gesturing behind him towards Atsumu and Hinata, answering without realizing it. “Unfortunately.” 
She spins around on the barstool to get a good look at them, and when she spins back around, her shoulders are slumped and the corners of her mouth are downturned into a pout. Sakusa almost laughs at the way her expressions are so dramatized. But he doesn’t, his mouth remains pressed in a flat line. 
“I’m here alone,” she explains, though she doesn’t have to, Sakusa figured. Unless she was here with the old man or the world’s rudest bartender. “I was supposed to go out with my friend tonight, but that didn’t work out,” she says, and then pauses, like she’s waiting for Sakusa to ask her about it. He doesn’t say anything. 
“It’s pretty depressing,” she comments, resting her cheek on her hand, “being alone on New Year’s. I feel like a fucking loser.” 
“Not that bad,” Sakusa comments, twisting his hands together in his lap. “It’s how I would’ve preferred to spend the night.” 
In the corner of the bar, the singing duo of Atsumu and Hinata trails off, and the sound of their silence turns Sakusa’s head. He peers over his shoulder again to see them both, clinging onto each other, in hysterics, laughing silently as they grip at each other. 
There’s a small lurch in Sakusa’s gut, though he can’t quite place it. He turns his attention back to the girl. 
“Your friends seem fun,” she comments. “And you seem kind of like a buzzkill.” 
Sakusa bristles, though he supposes he has no reason to be offended. All she knows about him is that he’s sitting at a bar, pouting, while his loud, drunk friends have more fun than him. “I’m not the one alone at a bar on New Year’s,” he retorts half-heartedly.
He expects her to be equally as offended as he was, but she doesn’t seem to be. She just sort of shrugs, looking deflated. “I mean, you’ve got me there.” 
She removes the heel of her palm from her cheek and drags the tip of her finger along the rim of her empty glass. He’s sure she would go for another one if the bartender was paying closer attention. She looks lonely. And maybe he’s just bored. Maybe he feels bad for insulting her. Maybe he just feels the same. But, regardless, he has this odd urge to keep her company. And that odd urge makes him ask, “What happened with your friend?” 
She sighs. “It’s kind of a long story.” 
“I have time,” Sakusa replies.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆
The bartender pulled himself away from his phone long enough to top off their drinks, and now Sakusa’s body feels warm. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he says, words dragged out by the alcohol in his veins. 
“See, that’s exactly what I’m saying!” she exclaims. Sakusa’s noticed that the more she drinks, the more expressive she gets. She waves around her arms and speaks with her hands and slams them down on the bartop when she gets too excited. “Because it would’ve been fine if she didn’t have the money for rent one time, I don’t mind covering if she’s going through it, but obviously she did have the money, and she just wanted to use it for her stupid birthday party and then not invite me.” 
Sakusa’s eyes feel heavier than they did before. There’s an hour-twenty until the new year. He’s more invested in her story-telling than he thought she would be. “So she was essentially asking you to pay for a party that you weren’t invited to.” 
“Isn’t it such a dick move?” she questions excitedly, like she’s ecstatic to have someone agree with her, to tell her she’s right, even if it is a half-drunk stranger at a bar. “And, it’s like she was going for the biggest dick in the universe award, because on top of all of that, she just straight up lied to me about that stupid party and told me her parents were taking her out for dinner. Like, do you think I’m an idiot? We have the same friends. We literally live together. I’m not that stupid.”
Sakusa likes listening to her talk. She has a pretty voice. He likes listening to it, hearing when it cracks or when it rises an octave. She’s gotten prettier, too. It might have something to do with the drink in his hands, but it’s like she has this soft glow that emits from her, soft and warm. And despite her raging, Sakusa feels a smile tug at the corner of his lips. He’s abandoned his mask in favor of drinking, so it’s out in the open, there for her to see. 
She doesn’t notice, though, she’s caught up in her storytelling, talking loudly to eclipse the music that plays. “And I wasn’t going to say anything at first, because I was really trying to keep the peace until I was able to move out, but then I found out that she was talking-” 
“Omi!” 
She is cut off by Atsumu, properly drunk and not even attempting to hide it. “We were gonna walk back to my place so me and Sho could count down the New Year there. Wanna come?” 
“No,” Sakusa answers sharply. Atsumu tosses an arm over his shoulder and it nearly makes Sakusa shudder. He shoves Atsumu’s hot, sweaty arm off of him, and Atsumu pays no mind to this, just switches his embrace over to Hinata, who flanks him with his eyes fluttering shut. “Can’t you just stay here?” 
“This bar sucks,” Hinata whines, head flopping onto Atsumu’s shoulders, and Sakusa can swear he sees the bartender glare at him from the corner of his eye. “Come back with us, I hate it here.” 
Hinata seemed to like it plenty twenty minutes ago when he was singing his lungs out to city pop, Sakusa’s not exactly sure what’s changed since then. And while he’s trying to figure it out, Atsumu seems to notice that Sakusa’s not exactly alone at the bar anymore. 
“You can bring the hot girl back with you, if you want, I don’t care,” Atsumu says, which earns him a light whack upside the head. 
“Don’t be a dick,” Sakusa chastises him. He looks back at the girl at the bar, and he realizes then that he never asked her name. “I’m sorry about him, he’s a jackass.” 
She has this expression on her face that seems half-way between uncomfortable and amused. “Don’t worry about it,” she says. “And you don’t have to stay here on my account. I was probably going to head home soon, anyways.” 
That’s a lie, Sakusa thinks, and he’s irritated with the interruption. He wants to know what she was going to say next. He wants to know exactly how it is that she ended up here, alone. “No, you were talking. I want to hear the rest of your story.” 
Hinata perks up. “Sakusa, just stay here and talk to your new friend, and we’ll just go back.” 
“Yeah,” Atsumu agrees, “you don’t ever make new friends. We don’t wanna ruin it for you.” 
Sakusa hopes she doesn’t notice the way his face starts to burn up. “I don’t trust you two to get back. You’re too drunk, you’ll end up frozen in a park by morning.” 
“You know,” she interrupts, and Sakusa turns to look at her, “if you guys walked, I wouldn’t mind going with you. I could finish my story on the go.” 
Sakusa blinks. 
⋆✴︎˚。⋆
She’s bundled up for the cold, a knit hat pulled down over her ears and a thick scarf wrapped around her neck several times. And even though her hands are covered by a pair of mittens, she still shoves them deep into the pockets of her jacket, trying to shield them further from the wind. Sakusa cannot stop thinking about how cute he finds this. 
They walk several paces behind Atsumu and Hinata, who, since leaving the bar, have not detached from each other. Still, Sakusa can hear their laughter, and he wonders if there was a reason he had to be dragged out tonight, if it was just going to be those two all over each other. 
For some reason, though, he feels more appreciative of it now. 
“I think your friends are in love with each other,” she comments, voice slightly muffled from the scarf that obscures her mouth. 
Sakusa scoffs. “Yeah, it’s been like this for a while. Tonight might be their breaking point.” 
The wind blows between them. There’s old, icy snow on either side of them. The sidewalk is gray and covered in salt. The night looks as cold as it feels, and Sakusa can feel it run down his spine. His jacket’s too thin for the wind. He shivers, and she looks up at him. 
“Here,” she says, grabbing at the end of her scarf and unraveling it from her neck. “Take this.” 
“No, you don’t have to-” Sakusa starts, but is cut off when she tosses the scarf around the back of his neck, and throws the end of it over his shoulder. 
Sakusa blanks, for a moment, stunned. The scarf smells warm, like cinnamon, and when it touches the back of his neck, he gets goosebumps. “Thanks,” he says. 
She pulls the hood of her jacket up over her head to make up for the loss. “You looked too cold. It was making me colder.” 
“So what happened next?” Sakusa questions, and she looks at him with a raised brow. “In your story. You said you were trying to keep the peace with your roommate, and then you got cut off. What happened next?”
For a moment, she looks at Sakusa, and she smiles. It feels nice to be on the receiving end of it. It eases a strain in Sakusa’s chest that he didn’t even realize was there. “Yeah, right. I was going to try and keep the peace, but then I found out she was talking to my ex-boyfriend behind my back, and that was like, the whole reason she didn’t want to invite me to her party in the first place. Which, I mean, if they’re going to talk, fine, that’s none of my business, but I just think it’s so weird to choose a man you’re not dating over your friend. Especially because no one was making her choose!” 
She immediately falls back into her animated retelling, and Sakusa notices that her pace is matching his. He listens, and watches as their footprints leave faint, matching prints in the salt and dust of the sidewalk. 
⋆✴︎˚。⋆
The scarf makes him warmer. So does her voice. Sakusa gets so caught up in it he doesn’t realize they’ve reached Atsumu’s apartment. 
“Hey Omi!” Atsumu calls from the front door, her and Sakusa still lagging several feet behind them. “Are you going to come up?” 
“No,” he replies, “I’m gonna walk her home.” 
From the corner of his eye, Sakusa can see her look up at him in surprise, her raised eyebrows hidden under the hood of her jacket. It makes him smile, despite himself. 
Atsumu shrugs. He takes Hinata’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers. “Alright man, I get you. See you next year!” 
Once Atsumu and Hinata have disappeared, she says, “You don’t have to walk me home, y’know.” 
“Yes I do,” Sakusa counters. “It’s late, you can’t walk back alone. Plus you haven’t finished your story yet.” 
She hasn’t, and Sakusa needs her too. She was in the middle of telling him about how her roommate’s mother sent her a scathing letter, and Sakusa’s too invested to give up on it now. Her mouth twists into a smile, like she’s fighting it. “My apartment’s kinda far from here.” 
And despite her warning, she turns, and starts walking back in the direction she came from, and Sakusa follows, eagerly falling back into place and matching her step. “Gives you plenty of time to finish what you were saying.”
“You know, I’m surprised you actually care this much,” she tells him, half-teasing. Her gloves hand brushes against him as her arms swing. “You kinda seemed like the type who loves not caring about shit.” 
He doesn’t want to be offended, because she’s right, but he is. Sakusa’s irked that that’s her perspective on him, and he’s irked that he does care so much. “I just wanna know how I ended up meeting you tonight.” 
Sakusa watches from the corner of her eye as she tilts her head, and she makes this little noise of contemplation in the back of her throat that gives Sakusa goosebumps again. “It is nice to have someone to talk to,” she says. “You’re the first person I’ve been able to talk to about it. Hey, what’s your name by the way? I heard your friends call you Omi.” 
He looks down at his feet. “Sakusa Kiyoomi.” 
She tells him her name, and it fits her. He repeats it over in his head a few times, once under his breath. He likes the sound of it. He likes the way it feels when he says it. 
“Thanks for spending New Year’s listening to me rant, Sakusa,” she tells him with a smile. 
He returns it, because he can’t help himself. “No problem.” 
There’s a beat of silence, the only noise being their shoes crunching against small, harmless patches of ice. She takes a deep breath. “So, anyways, when I got that letter from her mom, I basically freaked the fuck out, because so far that was like, the most insane thing to happen to me ever.” 
⋆✴︎˚。⋆
By the time she leads them back to her apartment, Sakusa hates her roommate more than he’s ever hated anyone, and he can’t feel the tips of his fingers. He keeps thinking about taking one of his hands out of his jacket pocket, and stuffing it into hers, their hands becoming one, clammy, knotted-up, warm mess. The thought makes him nervous. 
“So then, earlier tonight, I got a call from her, and she told me she was moving out, and leaving me alone with the lease, but we could still go out tonight if I wanted. But at that point, I just kind of gave up, and I told her to go out without me. Then I looked up cheap bars nearby, and I ended up meeting you.” 
Her timing’s perfect. She stops on the sidewalk in front of her building, and turns to face Sakusa directly. He hums. “That’s a pretty fucked up story,” he tells her. 
“I know,” she replies with a nod. “It’s a great start to the new year, right?” 
“At least I got to meet you,” he tells her, and he doesn’t know why he says it. He just sort of says it, naturally, and even though his cheeks go red, he doesn’t regret it. 
She gives him a soft smile. “This is my place. Thanks for walking me back.” 
“Of course, I was happy to.” 
Her hand pulls out of her pocket, and her phone comes with it. She presses a button on the side, and the screen lights up. “It’s twelve o’one,” she tells him. “We missed it, fuck.” 
Sakusa is suddenly flushed with thoughts of a New Year’s kiss, and he lets himself think them, because there’s no harm if he doesn’t say it outloud. He shrugs. “I don’t mind.”
She nods, and keeps her eyes down on her feet. Sakusa has this odd urge to grab her by the chin and make her meet his eye. He doesn’t know what it is about her, or her squeaky voice and terrible roommate and her dramatics and extravagant storytelling, but he feels like he’s been hooked by something. He doesn’t want to say goodbye to her. 
Her feet shift her weight around. “I have other stories, by the way.” 
Sakusa raises his brow. “What do you mean?” 
She looks behind her, for a second, and then back at him. Not quite looking him in the eye, her gaze hovers somewhere around his chest. “I have a lot of stories, actually. Horrible exes. Family drama. Lots of stuff I could tell you about sometime, if you wanted to hear it.” 
His chest feels like it’s expanding. “I want to hear them,” he tells her outright. “Any time you want to tell them.” 
She reaches into the back pocket of her jeans, and pulls out a slip of paper. A teared up piece of the receipt from the bar. She hands it to him, and Sakusa takes it, her gloves brushing against his finger tips. “I was hoping you’d ask for my number, so I came prepared. Call me the next time you want to hear something crazy.” 
Sakusa smiles. “I will.” 
“Happy New Year, Sakusa,” she says, and she stands on the tips of her toes to place a soft, quick kiss to her cheek. 
And before he has time to react, she rushes away, disappearing behind the front door of her apartment building. Sakusa’s hand reaches up to hover the spot where her lips touched him, and it feels numb. 
He looks down at the paper in her hand. Her number, written in smudged pen ink, and a note that says, the girl slumped over at the bar who talks too much-call me if you’re into that. 
Sakusa smiles, and folds it neatly back up, placing it in the front pocket of his jacket.
Tumblr media
an: happy new year i love u all
43 notes · View notes
billygoat26 · 4 months ago
Text
…Lemme just put this out there.
The amount of “gofundme I’m stuck in Gaza” asks are insane. I know the situation and trust me I really am sorry and hope you guys are safe and can get out safely but…
I AM A MINOR. I DON’T HAVE A JOB YET. I LITERALLY CAN’T DONATE.
I’ve answered a few of the asks I’ve gotten related to that over time but after discovering that one that I got before the Gaza asks started flooding in (I think it was the one with the mom and kids or cats? Idfk) was fake I’ve lost my trust.
I’m sure not all of them are fake (and chances are none of them are) but please- the only way I can help is to answer the asks so my followers can see and I don’t know how many of them are like me and literally can’t help.
I don’t think there’s any way to put this without it sounding like me being insensitive or something- I don’t want it to come off as that 😭
I guess I’m tired of getting the asks when I literally cannot to anything to help.
I’ve even said that before when I answered some asks and the person said something like even the smallest amount, even just a dollar, can help. Like- I have NOTHING to donate. No money. Not even a cent. What do you want me to do 😭
But if you guys are getting these too and they ARE real then please, do support them. But I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake anymore and I’m tired of being asked to donate something when I have nothing to give.
See the tags for more…
0 notes
faunandfloraas · 2 months ago
Text
Look, I don't believe in preferential treatment, it's not right.... BUT ☝️ if we're gonna have changbin saying sydney is skz's second hometown I just think maybe australia could not be charged things like 60+ dollars shipping.... or 75 dollars for a normal album at the most prominent music retailer when other places pay 15-20 for the same thing.... lol
19 notes · View notes
forestgreenlesbian · 9 months ago
Text
.
#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
51 notes · View notes
melancholic-pigeon · 3 months ago
Text
Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.
THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.
Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.
Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.
Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.
I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.
End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.
youtube
*revised for clarity
#don't buy from nerdykeppie#all receipts are under this tag#if you're so offended because my reporting on the things you say and do makes you look bad maybe the problem is you#this whole thing was completely needless#and yet he is continuing to DARVO me because he's pissed that his usual method of smugly lashing out at people over their poor reading#comprehension doesn't work when it's him who failed to comprehend what I wrote in the first place#also REAL FUCKING INCHRESTING that he's lying about me being involved in the jewvestigation of him so he responds by......jewvestigating me#lol#lashon hara. maybe he should study it sometime.#and maybe he'll learn warning others about poor behavior from a business so they don't waste their money there is not lashon hara#but honestly I doubt it because he's never going to let go of his desperate complex about always being the smartest raddest dude in the roo#it looks pathetic and I think he realizes that or he wouldn't have had such a dramatic extended meltdown over the things *he* said to *me*#I also still find it funny that he has conveniently forgotten to address the whole “hey bud your timeline doesn't add up” part#and I think that's because he knows if he were to address the proof that he didn't remember it correctly he would be forced to admit that h#threw a massive shitfit at someone for no reason because his memory got mixed up#so so funny that he can't come up with an answer for that#almost like! he knows he fucked up bigtime and is scrambling to make himself the victim!#also funny that “worrying about someone who was dragged into a fight by a bully” got twisted into sneakily scheming to turn her against him#I'm not a scheming plotter I'm worried because the behavior you showed your child in public was wildly inappropriate TO HER.#it's sad! It's fucking sad and embarrassing and hypocritical and immature and SAD!#but the pretend me other people are attacking because they made shit up is none of my business#if he wants to keep writing fanfic about me he can go right ahead#because again#the more he talks the worse he looks#the more he digs this hole the deeper he gets mired in his own muck#and it's not my job to bend over backwards to keep him from experiencing the natural consequences of his actions.#I really should learn the lesson that people who are snide assholes in one situation are usually snide assholes across the board#really the worst part is knowing I defended him when he threw tantrums like this before#that's what I regret and feel guilty about: that I backed up his shitty behavior and gave it legitimacuy#that was wrong of me and I'm sorry for every time I jumped in as one of his flying monkeys
7 notes · View notes
orcelito · 3 months ago
Text
Sometimes I get worried about whether smth I'm doing is wildly ooc but then I'm like This Is Fanfiction, what the fuck ever
#speculation nation#sometimes i dramatize things for fun even if i dont think thats 100% how theyd be in canon#like obviously i try to stick to their personalities as much as possible. but like#i think stressing forever about whether smth is 100% in character isnt productive for anyone.#as my friend allen puts it. instead of asking Would they say that. ask what would Make them say that?#im perhaps a little anxious about my dad vash fic im coming up with being seen as potentially ooc or whatever#like for one. no it wont just be domestic bliss whatever. hes got some awful mental health to sort through.#but also. even if it was just entirely domestic bliss fic. who the fuck cares?#im bothered by this actually. the degree that some people police everyone else's works like. u dont Have to read them man#if all ur doing is complaining about how None of the fandom is doing things 'right' then like. u dont have to look at it??#fuck dude i got some characterizations that drive me up the wall to see but i just fuckin leave them be.#i maybe spent too long scrounging in a negativity cesspool out of. i dont fucking know. morbid curiosity maybe#and it made me feel self conscious but at the end of the day. who the fuck cares!!!!!!#no one knows everything and touting yourself as the one who knows Everything and is Always Right is a: blatantly incorrect#and b: exceedingly obnoxious and self-absorbed.#ive got my opinions and preferences about fics. im not making it other ppl's problems. come on.#this is... man i guess it's a vague post. but it's not about anyone who follows me. if ur worried.#i dont prefer to do vague posts these days bc. ya kno. but GOD it rly is rubbing me wrong actually. ugh.
5 notes · View notes
stillfruit · 3 months ago
Text
i love not knowing if i'll ever be healthy again i love all of the time i've used to move my body become nothing i love spending my adulthood wasting away year after year for various reasons baby!
#i know i'm being dramatic and privileged etc etc right now but i hate living like this#i probably had covid in the beginning of august and since then my heart and lungs have just been fucked#so now i'm probably looking at at least 2 years of long covid and maybe permanent neurological damage#could i be lucky and get better in few more months? maybe. do i believe that will happen? no. optimistically maybe next summer id be better#my symptoms are not that bad considering what i know other people have suffered but at the same time that makes it feel not real#otherwise i'm pretty much fine except i feel like fainting alot after standing up or excerting myself and anything beyond walking#spikes my hr to 160 and right now even laying down my hr is around 80. this comes with the associated shortness of breath etc#what fucks me up about this is that my normal hr is low with my rhr being under 50bpm and i'm physically active#so basically i've went from regular running and half marathons being no issue to not being able to jog 1km at the slowest pace possible#without spiking my hr to zone 4#so now with the recovery time of this being however long if properly ever i'll have to basically start all over again with everything#i biked to the grocery store yesterday and that took me out for the rest of the day because my heart rate just didn't go down afterwards#outwards i look fine and i wouldn't be as affected if sports and moving wasn't a part of my life and relationships but it is#i've read studies about recovery times and a lot of them don't feel applicable because the test groups are either very different from me#based on the baseline health info such as activity levels or they're elite atheletes which i am not#some have given me hope that keeping my hr under like 130 by doing activities like walking until maybe someday things get better works#but who knows and even if it does this will be yet another thing that takes the littlest bits of muscle tissue i have on me away once again#because besides deconditioning muscle loss is yet another symptom. so i will be even weaker than i am right now#i don't know how much of what i'm experiencing in terms of mental effects is from anxiety over my physical health and how much is brainfog#but we'll see i'll just have to start walking a lot every day and keep up with simple and slow strenght training so i'll want to die less#i don't think my family will ever properly understand because almost all of them are athletes and the one who isn't never does any excercis#so either i just look like i'm weak but i was always weak so it's not a big deal or my experience isn't really that important#this is so so so pathetic both my reaction and the issue but it's difficult to not feel this way especially with the uncertainty#shit talking
2 notes · View notes
defectzim · 1 year ago
Text
TaTr is real and good. <- have a whole story in its head that would NOT fucking happen in canon.
#show doesnt give us anything my brain fills in the gaps#itd I GUESS be an AU but in my heart and mind its real jus lemme have this#Tenn gets re encoded as a service drone after the incident with the SIR units. tallests would rather put the blame on her than admit fault.#They get sent to moo ping 10 not as a prisoner just to work there (i go back on forth on what her specific job is. BUT its low profile.)#something like a custodian. tenn takes it as best she can but she DOES have a bit of that dramatic i want to get revenge feels.#like they've just lost their mission through no fault of her own. its a difficult time for her as she starts to kinda...question things.#like the way the world (or the only one she knows) works around her. but she also knows there isnt much they can do yk.#eventually she meets Tak there. who IS there as a prisoner.#i think theyd bond over the way theyre both victims of circumstance. and how they couldnt do anything to get where they were when meeting.#but hey. maybe being at your own rock bottom isnt too bad if someone's on the same level.#one thing leads to another they start their own “resistance” BUT really it is just them chilling in space.#theres lots of gaps BUT. but....shhh lemme have this i know its corny and would NOT fucking happen but they make me giggle happy smile.#ZIM SPEAKS#oh also mimi is included too. mimi is their emotional support kitty.#kitty mimi is forever i luv her FOREVER.#also i use they/she for tenn jst so theres no confusion ^_^!
17 notes · View notes
thebigqueer · 4 months ago
Note
2 years ago i fucked up a friendship w a girl (that im pretty sure i was in love with). to this day i think of her and sometimes when i see her on the street i just wanna cry. i understand your plight very much.
yeahhh man im sorry to hear that!!! it genuinely fucking sucks and i would never wish this upon anyone. cuz like it makes you fully think about all the what ifs and i genuilnely dont think ill ever find someone like her again
#im not trying to sound dramatic im being so serious she was so fucking perfect for me#i geuss the difference is shes the one who broke up w me and i know i didnt do anything wrong#neither of us did#its just like fuck!!! you know?? like we could have been so much#serious relationships dont need to be longterm to be serious you know???#one of these days im going to get tipsy and then 'drunk' text her even though i fiully intend to text her#and then claim i was just drunk because im notl ying im just not telling the full truth#like i fully considered it last night but i knew it would be a bad idea and i know if i do it its just gonna fuck things up more#but im soooo tempted man#like i dont know what itll even do#i know inside my goal is to maybe convince her that its not our time to end but i know in reality#its just gonna make her feel guilty and push her away even more if i show her how much ic are abou ther#i just seriously wish i understood why she even did it#i also thought being back on campus would help and i mean it has for sure becuase ive had my friends to distract me#but the thing is im not enjoying anything. like im not being distracted im just being numbed ykwim#cuz the moment i leave my friends all i do is think about her#and even when im WITH my friends ill be in the moment w them and then 2 minutes later ill start zoning out thinking about her#like the worst part about this is i dont have any anger *against* her#maybe im angry about like the general situation but the anger isnt against her#and while being angry is its own kind of pain in a way it can be easier cuz at least then youre tempted to have a good time and show off#but when its like this where youre just sad at the situation like what am i actually gonna do except think about her#sorry anon im not trying to dump on you i just start ranting in the tags sometimes#sunny rambles#anon tag#asks
2 notes · View notes
chiistarri · 7 months ago
Text
what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
4 notes · View notes
tyrianlynch · 1 year ago
Text
I’ve been improving a lot mentally lately and today my wife (best friend who I’ve lived with for 7 years) told me she’s divorcing me (moving to a city we both swore we’d never live in) and she’s taking the kids (our dog) and this is just further proof that god will never allow me to be happy or hopeful
8 notes · View notes
fingertipsmp3 · 9 months ago
Text
I’m gonna be completely real with you. For the past couple of weeks I have been neck deep in the Ice Planet Barbarians series with no end in sight
#i don’t know what ms ruby dixon put in these books but it’s like crack to me#i think it’s the balance of predictability vs there being a journey#like i know these two are going to get together and be fated mates but i don’t know when or how it’s going to happen#and she keeps switching up the formula just enough that i’m not sure what exactly the vibe is going to be each time#i’m on maddie’s book and it might be my favourite so far just because of how dramatic the earthquake was#and i liked that SOMEONE finally asked if any of the men were getting it on with each other because i mean……#there’s two dozen hunters who thought they were NEVER going to get a mate and you’re telling me NONE of them fucked. suspicious#i also really liked when hassen was saying about how maddie throws stuff at people when she’s mad and then he says ‘now that is a woman’#like honestly. yeah. too many of these men have been like ‘oh i love my small delicate human mate :)’ and hassen is like#‘this fat bitch who screams at people? i want her. she’s mine’ because bro honestly that would be me#i’d either be ms ariana screaming and crying at any stimuli; maddie throwing stuff at people; or maybe a combo of the two#which i think is probably liz#what else do i have to say about this… i mean honestly i am a vektal apologist. the man needs a raise. he is dealing with TOO MUCH bullshit#and from too many people. whenever some guy pipes up like ‘my mate is pregnant i can’t do that’ i’d be like ‘man EVERYBODY is pregnant#read the fucking room’#i’m not saying i like vektal i’m just saying i understand him and i feel bad for him and i’m impressed that he hasn’t started killing#that’s about it. uh. i’m going to finish this one and then read the spinoffs before i proceed#personal#**not the spinoffs. the novellas. the babies etc
3 notes · View notes
shaw-kai · 2 years ago
Text
the best thing about having a diagnosed mental illness(es) is people assuming you're always wrong and/or lying because "you're mentally ill" so no one ever takes your opinion on anything, or interrupts you because what's the point of listening to a crazy person
7 notes · View notes
reikunrei · 2 years ago
Text
tbh i feel like if i had to pick a single standout performance out of everyone in stranger things... it would probably be gaten matarazzo. like, i feel like he very consistently gets scenes so perfect and so genuine, while other charas always have at least one scene where i go “eh, that didn’t feel like the best take they could have used.” not with gaten. he is, as dustin would say, right on the money every time
9 notes · View notes
peppermintbutch · 1 year ago
Text
Sleepover w my probably unrequited crush was NOT good for me
4 notes · View notes