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…Lemme just put this out there.
The amount of “gofundme I’m stuck in Gaza” asks are insane. I know the situation and trust me I really am sorry and hope you guys are safe and can get out safely but…
I AM A MINOR. I DON’T HAVE A JOB YET. I LITERALLY CAN’T DONATE.
I’ve answered a few of the asks I’ve gotten related to that over time but after discovering that one that I got before the Gaza asks started flooding in (I think it was the one with the mom and kids or cats? Idfk) was fake I’ve lost my trust.
I’m sure not all of them are fake (and chances are none of them are) but please- the only way I can help is to answer the asks so my followers can see and I don’t know how many of them are like me and literally can’t help.
I don’t think there’s any way to put this without it sounding like me being insensitive or something- I don’t want it to come off as that 😭
I guess I’m tired of getting the asks when I literally cannot to anything to help.
I’ve even said that before when I answered some asks and the person said something like even the smallest amount, even just a dollar, can help. Like- I have NOTHING to donate. No money. Not even a cent. What do you want me to do 😭
But if you guys are getting these too and they ARE real then please, do support them. But I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake anymore and I’m tired of being asked to donate something when I have nothing to give.
See the tags for more…
#Please for the love of god don’t take this as me saying I don’t care about the people stuck in the crossfire#I DO care#I want them to be safe#But please- all I’m trying to say is I literally can not help in any way shape or form#I have no money to give#I don’t know what’s real or fake#I don’t know how many of my followers are also minors like me tbh#But PLEASE#I feel like I’m being pressured to do something I’m quite literally incapable of doing#Or maybe that’s me being dramatic. Who fucking knows#And yes I swear- get over it#But for the sake of not getting screamed at for all of this#Donate if you can to those actually stuck in the crossfire#If you can’t- then spread awareness I guess#Or dont#I can’t force you to do anything#billygoat talks
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Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.
When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”
Diavolo responds:
“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.
Along with how Diavolo describe his father.
It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.
Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.
Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.
His childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.
The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.
Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.
#Demons and Humans can’t get married even in the present so it adds an extra layer him wanting to introduce us.#There’s a lot more you could add onto this (please do I’d love to hear other’s thoughts).#Like how Diavolo’s childhood affected him just look at the way he describes himself:#“The truth is I am a child in a way. A child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting.”#A lot of Diavolo’s poor behavior while not excused comes from his childhood.#How Diavolo admits to using his position to force others to do what he wants. Along with how he doesn’t like sharing.#Diavolo’s insecurities in his friendships with others.#Mainly Lucifer and Barbatos which makes sense with how they happened.#IE Forcing Barbatos to become his butler and the oath/deal with Lucifer regarding Lilith.#It’s clear Diavolo is very lonely and carrying a heavy burden.#I like that MCs presence is helping him change into a better person.#Also I don’t think Diavolo hates his father their relationship just isn’t good and very complicated.#Diavolo is such a wonderful character if you have any in-depth posts about him please tag me I’d love to read them!!!#I AM FILLED WITH SAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT DIAVOLO TONIGHT!!!!#Obey Me#Obey Me Spoiler#Obey Me Nightbringer#OMSWD#Obey Me Diavolo#Diavolo#MaddyMajolish#Is it obvious I can’t sleep because I’m riddled with Blorbo thoughts
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“For how long have you had feelings for him?”… Lord the way they keep making Eloise this non-observant clueless friend to everyone is crazy to me… especially continuously with Pen (and now Cressida also). She never fathomed that Pen could want to participate in ton events, want to be married, want to have even the bare minimum opportunity to be entertained by a man, and yet anytime Pen goes against anything Eloise always talked about she’s so surprised?? Maybe if you talked with your friends instead of at them we wouldn’t be running into this situation continuously El…
#and this is all the show runners writing her this way book El would never be like this trust#I love El to death but the way she’s so up her own ass about not wanting to be involved in the ton and yet when her friends go against that#she’s appalled and upset that anyone could want anything differeny#*differently#the common denominator being that the these women don’t have the same luxuries that bridgerton women have#they can’t just choose to not marry if they don’t wish they’re going to be forced too either way#and even if they aren’t forced and want to marry that’s okay!! el pls realize that not everyone holds the same disdain that you do#I understand the LW secret is intense and bad™️ but El you can’t keep using it as a crutch/excuse for being surprised and upset#bridgerton#polin#bridgerton s3#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton spoilers#eloise bridgerton#penelope featherington#colin x penelope
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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hey uh just as a reminder if you’re polyamorous/non-monogamous and you don’t allow your very monogamous partner the chance to leave the relationship if they find it doesn’t work for them and they’re not okay with the relationship dynamic then you’re a shit human being
#ari announces#long story but there’s this overarching Tension going on in this server i’m in and god. the way that monog partner is manipulated makes me#feel fucking sick. how selfish do you have to be to make someone just be okay with your relationship style#it’s all crocodile tears in there so often that i can’t even feel bad. they’re so horrible about it#and i’m just trying to find the right words to say ‘hey uh. why is no one else confused that the monog partner can’t leave’#wow! how strange!! i’ve never met two ppl more selfish in my life doing a relationship style meant to dissolve that#i just. god. if ur partner isn’t satisfying u or if ur not happy with where the relationship is going u should be allowed to leave. no ifs#ands or buts. and honestly while we’de at it don’t force ur monog partner to therapy bc u think she needs it to cope w u doing whatever u#want. and ignoring her needs. it’s fucking moronic. and then they’re SHOCKED when they run into issues and problems#like am i an idiot??? am i just not seeing smth i should be??? i feel insane abt this like genuinely#no one else fucking says anything and i’m going to when the time comes. if smth comes up again. i’ve had enough of seeing this#selfish awful behavior of not wanting to let someone go if they want to leave. it’s fucking gross
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would you all think that continually rescheduling even up to the last minute before an appointment, regularly switching from call to texting even when i’ve said i find texting less helpful because it comes off more brusque, no consistent linear topic directing, constantly directing focus to my day to day life/relationship rather than anything else about me even if i express concern about the rest of it is reason to consider breaking up with a therapist
#i like my therapist but i’m just getting to the point i kind of wonder why i’m paying for it#i don’t feel like anything has really been resolved and i feel like there’s kind of#idk unrealistic expectations of how a man should act when you throw therapy talk at him?#idk#but moreover i just don’t know#i don’t like the constantly being rescheduled#and then also she always says i can ‘reach out to her any time with problems’#and then when i do i get an ‘oh i’m on vacation so i’m not reading that till next week’#or ‘have a crucial conversation’ i KNOW that#i know that’s what i SHOULD do but for various reasons i can’t#maybe a ‘how’ would be helpful which is what i’m looking for#i want to express that i do in fact know my relationship has issues that need to get worked out#but therapy makes me feel like it’s kind of my job to force him to change some things and i can’t#i feel like any attempt to ‘force’ this stuff would just build resentment/contempt and not actually be useful#and again#it’s not being EXPLAINED.#it’s just ‘well hold him accountable’ HOW#i have had this therapist for like 3 years and while I’ve made some progress i don’t really feel like it’s because of therapy per de#i feel like my eating disorder has gotten NO in depth attention whatsoever#like it’s just ‘why do you think you do that’ ‘how do you think you could stop’ wow thanks i could ask that myself (and have)
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somebody give me the strength to keep watching the x files season five. i miss them so bad but i cant do this anymore i cant take it
#first watch#the x files#dana scully#i would do anything for you#i miss you so much#i can’t handle them this season. theyre acting like a bittery divorced couple forced to work on fbi cases together#which would be cool but WHY#txf#txf s5
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I feel… an overwhelming urge to tapestry crochet a certain Mr. Spock… it is uncontrollable. I see a silly guy and they take over my body.
#crochet#tapestry#star trek#spock#mr spock#I can’t even tapestry crochet well#but I’d do anything for him#sometimes you are just overwhelmed with an urge for a guy and you’re forced to act
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Modern AU
Cassandra has a death wish with the drinks she makes. Bela is surprised her sister didn’t get a heart attack. But that is only Bela, what does she know when it comes to the things that her sister does. As long as she’s handling this madness just fine, Bela shouldn’t have any reason to complain.
But the eldest daughter feels obligated to mention what is mixed with the vodka. Because different people like different things right? Some prefer cranberry, others prefer cherry soda, and then there is Cassandra’s mix which is vodka and red bull. Of course, it isn’t for show, Cassandra does drink that monstrosity and thinks most people are okay with this thing.
It isn’t only vodka. On occasion, Bela saw her sister mix espresso with red bull when she needs the extra burst of energy after staying up very late. How her sister didn’t drop dead after drinking that is still something Bela wonders about to this day.
Cassandra never listens though. She thinks it’s okay and as long as her body isn’t rejecting this then why should she stop?
On a morning while the girls were staying over at their aunt Donna’s house, Cassandra did toss espresso in a glass full of the energy drink. It was then that the three sisters saw their very kind and very soft-spoken aunt snap.
Donna is very against energy drinks. To the Italian woman, if you need energy you get it from caffeine that’s either in tea or coffee, and that’s about it. Energy drinks are a huge no in her book and she often speaks about it. To see her niece nonchalantly mix two things that have no business mixing together, the woman was sent over the edge.
Donna might have over-dramatized it. She didn’t have to go as far as to mention how she would tell Alcina that she stood by while her daughter killed herself. Because the woman is convinced that the second Cassandra drinks the beverage, her soul will depart from her body.
Daniela, trying to help her aunt calm down, mentioned that she should relax because “Cass does this a lot you really don’t—“ But she was interrupted because what do you mean she does this frequently?
Donna wonders how Alcina allows this. To which the daughters gulped because their mother doesn’t really know and they figured that what Alcina didn’t know wasn’t going to hurt her. But of course, Cassandra is cocky and thought her aunt wouldn’t even know what red bull is which is apparently not true at all.
#house dimitrescu#cassandra dimitrescu#daniela dimitrescu#bela dimitrescu#headcanon#alcina dimitrescu#house beneviento#donna beneviento#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#Cassandra is so hardcore she’s downright a hazard to herself#but she claims this is what she needs to get through a day after only getting three hours of sleep#but her mom doesn’t accept it because 1) WHY DID YOU ONLY SLEEP FOR THREE HOURS???#like Alcina really lost it there and cass just—brought this on herself#because now Alcina makes sure her middle daughter is going to sleep early#she literally is like ‘now I can’t trust your judgement so I have to make sure you’re getting enough rest’#which is followed by Alcina literally hovering over her middle daughter and literally forcing her to stop everything she’s doing and go to#bed. Cassandra hates it and always argues that it’s not even 10 pm no way she’s going to sleep now#but it’s her mama so she really can’t win that argument#it doesn’t stop her from trying tho#but she ensures a long period of forced early bedtime which she hates but can’t really get out of#because when Alcina is your mom there isn’t anything you can get past her#Alcina is like ‘if u don’t know how to manage your time so I will manage it for you’#and Cassandra hates it because she loves the night#but decides to milk it since her mama isn’t budging#so she gets dramatic and demands more attention#to the point of spending some nights with her mother in her room#but really she’s just being a stupid needy baby because Alcina LOVES having her daughters around#and having Cassandra spend some nights with her is actually something she loves
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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Bleh
#I gotta rant n I don’t really have a place but here lol#but man is my past relationship weighing heavy on me today#(caveat of pls don’t be weird and make this his problem)#but I still just feel so lost over it#like obviously breaking up with no ill will is the ideal situation#but being forced to confront that someone you spent so much of your life growing with#can just decide they don’t like you like that anymore#like there was distance for a while before the breakup#that I don’t hold against him at all#but reflecting on the first several years of our relationship compared to the last 6months or so#feels like night and day#like you can go from someone being obsessed with you and you obsessed with them#enjoying all the parts of growing into adults together#to just feeling so unwanted bc the reality is they stopped wanting you a while ago#like going from telling friends my only holdup on polyamory was that I didn’t know if I could love another person as much as them#to having to bring to their attention that it wasn’t okay that I came to their family’s house n all he said was hi to me for the first hour#and then confronting that you didn’t do anything wrong#that shit just happens sometimes and neither of you knew how to navigate it#and fuck it makes me so scared for future relationships#because how can you not be scared when you can lose such intense love as the result of a few years passing#I almost wish it had been something I did :/#bc at least then I knew what to work on and mitigate going forward#but I can’t stop people just..#not liking me anymore
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watching Gladiator feeling like a wife who’s sighing over her beloved who was put in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. free my husband
#he wasn’t guilty#he didn’t deserve any of it#i would throw myself at the judge’s feet and beg for his life like in a dramatic movie#anything for him 😭#gladiator gives me 1000+ emotional damage every time i watch it#no other movie makes me so happy yet so sad#it just guts me every time#seeing him lose everything and just give up 😭😭#and then be mistreated and abused and mocked and forced into horrible situations#but continuing to be noble and honorable#and doing his duty even when all he wants is to die and be with his family#and when it seems like there’s some hope but then he’s betrayed again 😭😭😭#and his death#the staggering the pained breathing the soft smile when he sees his family waiting for him#I WANT TO DIE I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE#maximus let me love you all the days of my life#let me love and comfort and hold you#i would be so good to him :(#i just love him so endlessly and so painfully#gladiator#text posts#russell crowe#maximus#gladiator 2000#maximus decimus meridius
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#but actually can you guys say a prayer about teaching for me?#I know it’s mostly because it’s the end of the year#but a lot of stuff is just forcing its way to the surface#and basically it’s just me struggling with my natural strengths as a teacher and the boundaries of appropriateness that are necessary#to maintain it#like first of all. the beast that is my anxiety compounds everything and makes it so scary and terrible#secondly I thought I had. Like. A total handle on all of it#Teaching and boundaries I mean#and of course I do not#and part of it is that the anxiety that always kept me within the right lines is just shifting and changing#and I’m just distanced from some of the stuff that used to keep me grounded#like my family right now!#the new adulthood is adulting!#anyway like. I am not doing anything inappropriate or close to it (sounds like I am when I deny it lol)#but I am aware in a new and newly exhausted way of the absolute dangers#of being the kind of teacher who uses all of my personality etc. to wake kids up#And make them respond#but then still have to want to need to keep certain boundaries up#And I’m trying to figure it out but of course I CAN’t Do it perfectly#and then it’s so hard when your personal life is so hard and you’ve just gone through so much change in such a fast period of time#And it just feels like everything is spinning#and your heart aches and you’re tired and you just feel like you’re right at the center of all this emotional chaos#and all these people who wanna pull you off course and get you to cross certain lines#and some of the lines are just weird and arbitrary boundaries you put up to protect yourself when you started teaching at 23#Because you HAD to#So you can take some of them down and it’s fine but then there are some boundaries you know you need to keep up#And it’s more subtle than the black and white stuff re: appropriateness#Just the stuff that protects you and makes it easier to be the kind of teacher and influence that you want to be#and just trying to figure it all out while you’re exhausted and it’s the end of the school year#it’s just a LOT. A lot a lot
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#i’m just whining at this point ignore me#man. don’t you love needing surgery right at the start of your break so now you couldn’t do anything besides lying down terribly in pain an#exhausted???#and it’s healing and all but you still can’t walk without feeling like someone is hammering a nail into the wound#ahah ha. ha.#of course i still worry about it getting worse somehow.#and it’s affecting the blorbo time as well and i hate it so much#constant worry about larian making changes to the game that would force me to scrap everything and just.#idk that worry about a sense of belonging i guess. but it’s fine it’s whatever i won’t have as much time#for creative shit anymore because i should have started studying days ago 👍#which is so hard to do when you’re in pain and during the rare moments you’re not you’re exhausted from it but whatever it’ll be fine i’m#idk idk
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Kill the notion that Star Wars needs to step away from force users. I don’t know about you, but I love to see space wizards fight with glowy swords. The only thing that needs to change is the good/evil dichotomy of the Light and Dark sides of the Force. Give us a show about a Padawan who tries her hardest to be a great Jedi so she buries her emotions so deep within herself that she loses herself and becomes complacent with Jedi/Senate corruption and turns to the dark side to reconnect with herself and rediscover what made her want to be a Jedi in the first place. Give us the story about a child who’s sibling is taken by the Jedi so they ally with a Sith to break into the Jedi Temple and rescue their sibling. Give us a movie about a Dark Lady of the Sith and her apprentice defending their home planet from being absorbed into a sector of the Republic where their historical oppressors would hold their seat in the Senate.
All those stories could feature epic clashes between Force Wielders without contributing to the perceived stagnation of Star Wars shows featuring Jedi and Sith.
#star wars#the jedi#the sith#the Force#I will never forgive Disney for canceling the ONE show that seemed to be doing this#adding complex characters and interpretations of the Force does not make Luke less heroic or Sidious less evil#if anything it makes them more heroic/villainous#Luke isn’t heroic because he’s a Jedi he’s a Jedi that chose to be heroic#Sidious isn’t evil because he’s a Sith he’s evil because he took an extremist interpretation of the Sith Code to justify tyranny#to me the Sith Code is all about getting in touch with oneself and resisting the boxes society tries to shove you in#through strength I gain power/through power I gain victory is the only line that can be interpreted to justify might makes right#but immediately after it says through victory my chains are broken/the Force will set me free#how I’m the world does that justify oppression and tyranny#it’s literally breaking away from societal expectations#and Qimir understands this#he just wants to love Osha and use the Force without being hunted by the Jedi#does he do bad things like murder? yes but when the government wants to kill you for your religious beliefs you can’t be a perfect victim#but he also does good things like helping Mae after the death of her entire family and keeps Osha safe and loved after she killed Sol#I need more Sith like him because he gets it#Dooku I think got it for a while before he was twisted into villainy by Sidious
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*draws something for the first time in a while. “Man I suck at drawing! Maybe go back to being good at it if I draw more!”
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
*doesn’t draw
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“Oh I got a neat idea for a drawing! Surely I have gotten better by now!” Loop post
#this revelation brought to you by the one and only#midnight brainrot#probably could not of put these things together without the malaise of a mind awake at 3 am again despite saying that they’re ”trying to fix#their sleep schedule ~”#bah. I say things yet never do them. my brain always blocks any sort of progress with ”just one more video”#even fun and enjoyment bends the knee to this declaration#even other YouTube videos!#when I do break it I end up back where I was because like asking for literally anything my brain does so much pushback that it feels#inherently wrong on a fundamental level#I don’t think I’m depressed I like life too much and enjoy existence#is this my brain punishing me for not dying before reaching adulthood like I always thought I would? or is it punishment for not constantly#going from the end of high school to another school like I planned because my purpose in life was to learn and go to school until I die#now I am left without purpose. literally wandering my house like a ghost when no one’s home#I say the two same things to my brother when he gets home so much that he once made a joke about me being an npc#and the worse part is. it wasn’t about that dumb TikTok brainrot meme thing. no it was because I say the exact same things the exact same wa#y every time he gets home. worse more is I can think of several other ways that that statement could be more accurate that he doesn’t know a#bout#I wish to game but never do#I want to make art and such but I never do#I went to an art class for years when I was a kid for Pete’s sake!#my parents complain about my hair being too long and I agree but I still want it long I just always kept it short because of simple ma#maintenance. the only reason I ever grew it out was to keep warm I. the winter!#I spent my childhood with self imposed utilitarianism for no reason#no reason to expand my horizons and explore myself because I thought of myself as a lesser being that was fated to die randomly before#I could reproduce.#oh my goodness the reproduction thing! I thought I was straight for the longest time because I had to be#because the purpose of a person is to reproduce. yet I was all like”I can’t reproduce as I am autistic and would taint my offspring. I am a#genetic dead end and deserve to have the effect of natural selection take place”#through tv show mimicry and being a utilitarian little git I forced myself to be straight for years#and the worse part is I KNEW GAY PEOPLE EXISTED AND I ENVYED THEM FOR NOT HAVING TO REPRODUCE OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT KARKAT FELT LIKE? NO I
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