#OR LIKE THE SAME AGE WHEN REGULUS GOT THE MARK???

[strawberryloveyyy]

you know life is getting weird when you're the same age as your favourite characters

LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M THE SAME AGE AS KATNISS EVERDEEN???

[maxdibert]

hi! i saw in one of your posts you wrote about how Sirius Black had no reason to bully Snape and i thought about it…..i mean doesn't his hatred seem too personal? we have Lupin who has no contact with Snape after book 3 but Sirius goes crazy when Snape is around and they are alone so he can attack him (kitchen scene in book 5). and he knows so much about him: who he hung out with at school, his relationship with Lucius; at the same time he doesn't know about the mark, about how Severus was the one who brought the prophecy to voldemort that led to Lily and James death. and yes he is stuck at age 21 but even then they graduated school and as he says they never heard of Snape in those years. It seems a bit odd: don't bullies usually try to downplay their role in what they did to the victim, or even try to make it look like nothing happened? And he and Remus try to do that with Harry, but at the same time he seems incredibly proud and pleased with himself when he talks about the prank. One moment confused me when I was reading book 3: when Sirius has Peter at gunpoint with his wand, he is extremely focused on him. He doesn't take his eyes off him, because it was for this moment, the act of revenge, that he escaped from prison. As far as I remember, Harry describes it as "nothing could distract him at that moment" or something like that. But as soon as Remus even mentions Snape, Sirius' attention suddenly switches: he turns away from Peter and asks about him again. Or when he watches Snape during the OWL exams??? Especially when Rowling describes his reaction after the exam, when he sees him under the tree, as the reaction of a dog to a rabbit. He seems so obsessed and like something happened between them that really got to him. Or he's just as intolerant of half-bloods as his family. I completely agree with you that Sirius bullied Snape simply because James did it and he found it funny. But his hatred seems excessive, he has no reason to hate Snape so much. James has his excuse about Lily, but Sirius has none of that. But he still tries to kill him and it doesn't really matter hides, lol. I've read an opinion that he hates him because of his unrequited feelings for James, where Severus is the reason James even noticed Lily, which I don't really agree with, to be honest. Sorry, it got too long, ahaha. What I want to ask is: do you have any thoughts on this?

Well, the explanation for his relationships at school is quite simple because Sirius doesn’t leave home until he’s 16. Considering that his brother goes to Slytherin and that Narcissa is his cousin, it’s not strange to deduce that Snape’s name, along with other Slytherin students, probably came up at some family dinner/lunch/meeting. Like, talking about who in Regulus and Sirius’ year might have ‘potential,’ for example. It seems coherent to me that, considering Sirius’ environment until he leaves to live with the Potters, he’d be aware of certain things.

Leaving that aside, let’s talk about Sirius Black, because I think in recent years the Marauders fandom has ruined this character, and he’s actually a character with a lot of depth. Or at least more than many others in the saga.

(This is gonna ne so fucking long lol)

Sirius is a posh kid. He’s a posh kid who is embarrassed about being posh and feels guilty about it. He’s the typical rich kid from a conservative family who’s had issues with his mom (in this case) and his way of getting back at everything he felt was missing from his childhood is to vehemently oppose everything he thinks she represents. And the funniest part is that (as is often the case) his problem with his mom is that they both have a terrible character, which is why they clash. Because Sirius has the kind of terrible character that is incompatible with anyone else who has the same terrible character. But despite everything, he’s still a posh kid. Because he comes from an aristocratic family and was raised with those values of superiority. Because he’s never had to fend for himself (he leaves home but goes to another rich family, the Potters, and on top of that, his uncle Alphard leaves him his entire inheritance, so he has plenty of money) and he has always enjoyed the privilege of his surname, his blood status, and the fact that he’s (according to Rowling) super handsome. In other words, Sirius belongs to the ruling class and behaves with the same arrogance, entitlement, and lack of empathy that is typical of that class. No matter how much he tries to deny it and distance himself from it, he can only do so on a superficial level (Muggle posters, being a Gryffindor, enchanting a Muggle motorcycle) because when it comes down to it, he has no idea how to deconstruct himself, nor is he interested in giving up or losing his privileges, because he’s quite comfortable with them. He’s like the typical aristocratic kid from an Opus Dei family who thinks he’s better than everyone around him because he votes for the left and has been to four protests, but at the end of the day, he still lives a bourgeois life and doesn’t understand the root of social problems.

That said, let’s move on to James.

I think James was everything Sirius wanted to be. No, not be, I think James had everything Sirius wanted to have: loving parents, a family that wasn’t involved in a cult, a pleasant environment that allowed him to do whatever he wanted instead of being constrained by traditions and social norms, liberal and progressive ideals… James had the life Sirius had always wanted, but with one key detail: he was also rich and from an old, prestigious family. This is super important because when Sirius chooses his rebellion partner, he doesn’t pick some random Muggle-born, or a half-blood, or someone from the middle or lower class. Sirius chooses as his best friend someone who embodies everything he wants to be/have, but who at the same time belongs to his same social stratum, both economically and in blood status. Sirius chooses a future Gryffindor rebel with very different ideas from his family, but ironically he chooses like anyone from his family would: someone with money, status, and power. And I find this super amusing because it’s so coherent with his character. I mean, if Sirius were a real person, he would’ve done the same thing because guys like him are like that: the kings of cognitive dissonance and double standards.

Sirius always wanted James’ validation, or at least that’s how I see it. I think for him, feeling that James approved of what he did was a way to legitimize himself as someone different from his family. James represented the “progressive” social elite that Sirius aspired to by rejecting the traditional values imposed on him. So, unconsciously, he understood that if he did everything James wanted, and I’ll go further, everything he thought James would like, then he would distance himself from that Black image and gain validation as something entirely opposite. The problem is that Sirius, unlike James, was raised in an environment where ethical and moral values were very different, and where it was clearly established that certain people were “the other,” an “other” sociologically understood as the idea that some humans are inherently less than others. And although Sirius consciously rejected this idea, unconsciously he had been raised with it. Therefore, consciously, he didn’t reject people based on their blood status because he could identify that as something his family would do, and family = bad. But unconsciously, he was conditioned to see other people as non-people, and this is where Severus comes into play.

James dislikes Severus because he sees him as an obstacle/threat/nuisance in his crush on Lily. By default, and because of that constant need for validation from James, Sirius also focuses on him as a hostile element. And if he’s hostile to James, who in a way is his moral compass, then that guy must be trash because, of course, it’s obvious. But not only that, this guy is also a half-blood and poor, so poor he wears old clothes. And on top of that, he’s ugly. And not very masculine. So he has all the elements for Sirius, the aristocrat raised in luxury under the premise that he’s better than others because of his origins, to see him as “the other” and exercise all his power and privilege to oppress him without remorse, because for him, it’s justified. Justified unconsciously by the education he received, and consciously because if James hates him, there must be a good reason to hate him, so everything is justified. If we add to that the fact that Severus desires everything Sirius has always tried to reject: more social status, more recognition, power, belonging to Slytherin, rubbing shoulders with important wizards, forgetting the Muggle world he grew up in… well, we have a molotov cocktail for him to make Severus’ life unbearable. And Severus is an easy target for someone like school-age Sirius Black: he has no friends, no surname, no parents to protect him, and no stable socio-economic situation. Sirius can project all his frustrations onto him without any consequences. He can completely dehumanize him and stop seeing him as a person. He can behave like a Black.

I think the Prank is a good example to see the difference in upbringing between Sirius and James. Both are bullies, both are abusers, both have zero remorse when it comes to using their status and power to make life impossible for those they believe deserve it. But James was raised in an environment where he knows that actions have consequences, that you can’t cross “certain lines,” such as murder, for example. Sirius was taught the opposite—he was raised to think that the life of “the other” holds no value, and that is something that in his story with Severus goes too far. James understands that death is something serious and can bring terrible consequences, while Sirius does not. For the Black family, death is nothing if there is a reason for the person to die, and Sirius has his own reasons for playing with Severus’ life the way Bellatrix would play with the life of any Muggle-born.

(This is something I really like as well—the way Sirius and Bellatrix are fundamentally alike, and how little that’s discussed. But I’ll leave that for another time, otherwise I won’t finish.)

I don’t think it’s a matter of Sirius being obsessed with Snape, but rather that, for all the reasons I’ve explained, he uses Severus as a catalyst for his repressed anger and that sadism he inherited from his family. He can’t channel it toward anyone else because that would lead to absolute rejection from James. Since James hates and despises Severus, he’s never going to question Sirius for channeling all his pent-up rage on him, so it’s a free pass. If he had reached that level of sadism with someone who didn’t provoke the same level of animosity in James as Severus did, he would have risked confronting his biggest fear: that James would see him as a Black, not as Sirius. Losing his validation as the black sheep to become just another one of them. So he focuses on Severus because it’s a safe bet.

Moving on to their relationship during the book canon…

We don’t really see a proper confrontation until the fifth book. I mean, in the third, it shows that Sirius still sees Severus as “other” by dragging him along while unconsciously banging his head. In the fourth, there’s that scene where Dumbledore forces them to shake hands, and it’s clear they still hate each other. But it’s not until the fifth book that we get a real confrontation, where Sirius loses his temper. I think this has a lot to do with (drumroll) once again that cognitive dissonance between what Sirius always wanted to be and what he actually is, especially given the role he plays on the chessboard at that point in the story.

Sirius did everything he could to distance himself from his family, and the climax of that was joining the Order of the Phoenix and actively fighting against that same family, several members of whom were “soldiers” for the opposite side. Sirius is finally achieving what he wants—to be a hero. To stop being part of the elite dark villains and instead be part of the heroic elite. The noble of high birth who fights valiantly for the good of the realm, just as James was destined to be. It’s the climax, the absolute fulfillment of his adolescent desire. But then he’s thrown into Azkaban, and when he gets out, he finds that the poor, weird kid addicted to dark arts, who sucked up to future dark wizards, who hung out with purists and even joined the “bad side”—the side of Sirius’ family, the villains—is now the most important member of the Order. He’s none other than Dumbledore’s right hand. He’s a double agent risking his neck every day and has more responsibility than anyone else. That kid Sirius called Snivellus for being a crybaby has more guts and more endurance than most people. The one who always wanted to be part of the elite Sirius hated is now the one playing them all, making them look like idiots. The one who looked frail and effeminate turns out to be more “manly.” And that hurts. That hurts a lot. You go to prison, and when you get out, the person you didn’t even consider a person not only ranks above you, but is playing in a league you can’t aspire to. And the best part is, Sirius can’t fully accept it because he’s still Sirius—a classist, privileged aristocrat incapable of accepting that (as is only logical) the poor working-class kid turned out to be far more useful than him in both politics and war.

To me, it’s poetic justice.

[northlt03]

There are five parts to this story. Five people. Like the points of a star. Five stories. Four families. Five very, very traumatized kids. Though they weren't just kids at the end of it, that's how they started.

Regulus doesn't know when it all went wrong. When everything went to the dogs. Maybe it was when he begged Kreacher to leave without him. Maybe it was when he stepped into the cave with a fake locket in hand. Maybe it was when the Dark lord asked for Kreacher specifically. Maybe it was when he got the mark burned on his arm, more of a brand than a tattoo. Maybe it was when James Potter left and all the light seemed to leave his world. Maybe it was when his brother left their home. Maybe it was before that, when they were just kids. Maybe his tragedy was written far before he was born.

Whatever the reason. He was the first to die. Certainly not the last.

So he should be the narrator. It's something poetic, he thinks. The dead watching over the living. He was the first to go and like idiots, his friends followed.

The first time Regulus Black met Evan and Pandora Rosier, he was four. Sirius was five and disruptive already. He could never sit still. Evan and Pandora could.

And though four year old Regulus held his brother in the highest regard, he also wished for peace and quiet sometimes. He was also a rule following little shit. So if his mother said he had to get to know the children of other pureblood families, that is what he intended to do.

Regulus was fascinated by Evan and Pandora the first time he met them. There was just some other-worldly quality to them. As if they hadn't been meant to live on Earth at all.

And though they shared the same features with the rest of their family- meticulously styles blond hair and blue eyes, they didn't look like they quite belonged there either.

Evan Rosier had always been an enigma, someone entirely impossible to miss even if one was trying. And believe him, at first, Regulus tried. If Pandora was the rose, Evan was the bush. Guarded, prickly, but once he opened up, there was no telling when he would shut up.

Regulus grew fond of his annoying rants about any and every topic.

They never did talk about their parents. that was a forbidden topic. What happened in a family stayed in a family. No matter how close the Rosiers and the Blacks were, no matter if they were actually related.

Evan saw the marks on Regulus' pale skin. Regulus saw Evan flinch when his father raised his voice. Pandora saw Regulus shrink into the corner. Regulus saw her dissociate when it all got too much.

Pandora Rosier, named after a tragedy. She had told him the myth behind her name the first time they met. It felt jarring having a four year old casually say something so tragic without blinking. Regulus grew to like her queer habits, her strange stories and her ways.

Like Regulus, their paths were set in stone. Evan would grow and have to take over from his father. He would be betrothed and marry whichever pureblood his parents chose for him.

Regulus found cracks in his acts sometimes. His father did too. Little flinches, little frowns and scowls. He never spoke up, never said anything, but made it abundantly clear he never wanted any of that.

Pandora would have to marry some pureblood as well. The best suitor their parents could find, anyone that could strengthen their ties and keep their blood pure. She had suggested getting married to Regulus once as a joke and the three of them laughed all afternoon long.

Regulus knew he wasn't normal by the time he was seven or eight. When his eyes lingered on the boys his age at the balls. He would sail though the room with Pandora in his arms, trying his best not to step on her toes as they danced. But his eyes would seek out others. Even Evan at a point (they laughed about it later when they got older).

Regulus had known about the Dark Lord far before he stepped foot into Hogwarts. The wizard was like a dark shadow over him and his family. But merely a shadow, or so Regulus thought when he was younger. A boogey man in the shadows parents told children about to scare them into obedience.

As such, before he was eleven, Regulus had only known one type of people. The ones like his family. Pureblood, racist, rich assholes his brother despised so much.

It had been made abundantly clear to him that he wasn't his brother and he should never even try to be. After the disappointment of him getting sorted into Gryffindor, his parents had started to give up him.

Which still left Regulus in their clutches.

Regulus met Barty Crouch Jr in the line to get sorted. With their names so close in alphabetical order, they ended up right after one another.

But there was something that transcended their meeting. Something inevitable. Like two stars hurtling toward each other across the universe, finally exploding in a fiery supernova.

Barty Crouch jr was insane. That is the first impression Regulus remembered having of him. Even though he was a pureblood, Regulus had been told by his parents he was of the lesser kind. His father, a muggleborn sympathizer, which made him of the same category as the muggles. Filthy and disgusting.

Regulus tried to limit their interaction. But it was impossible to ignore Barty. Not because he had something profound to say or because he was magnetic. But simply because he talked a lot.

It was sometimes like he stole all the light in the room he walked into and put it over himself until there was nothing else to see but him. Until people had no choice but to look at him.

Regulus despised that about him at first. He and Evan gossiped under their covers about him in their first year after they had all been sorted together.

Just because they were all in one dorm did not necessarily mean they would have to be friends. So Regulus and Evan stuck together, with Pandora who would walk over from her Ravenclaw table over to their Slytherin one occasionally.

Barty tried to force his way into their little group, but they were pretty tight knit. Evan took his hatred for Barty Crouch jr as seriously as his father's for muggles.

Until one day when a girl sitting next to them laughed.

Regulus had first thought of Dorcas Meadowes as someone unimportant solely because she wasn't one of them, not from a pureblood family and not rich and certainly not a blood purist.

Sometimes, he thought he wouldn't be who he was if it wasn't for Dorcas Meadowes. She was witty and charming, quick to bite back and poke fun. She never took their insults to heart, going so far as to insult them back.

Pandora befriended her first. Then Evan who got dragged into it by his sister and then eventually, yes, even Regulus.

Barty Crouch jr was the first boy Regulus ever kissed. He promptly turned around and walked out of their dorm the moment they separated, his heart beating so fast in his chest he had thought it would fall out.

He hated Barty, like Evan did. Hated him because he did things like that, wrapped Regulus around his finger with pretty words and batting his eyelashes and then kissed him. He hated Barty because he pulled Regulus deeper and deeper into a hell Regulus knew he couldn't escape.

It was second year when Regulus first saw Barty with a bruise on his jaw that he wasn't bragging about. He was quiet, which was uncharted territory for Barty. And so, despite all his common sense telling him not to, Regulus became friends with Barty.

Dorcas never bought into the whole blood supremacy, her parents weren't like theirs. Regulus was so jealous of her, though he'd never admit that aloud. Dorcas didn't have to pledge her allegiance to the dark lord, never had to suffer through dinner with families like his, never had the fear that perforated every single inch of Regulus.

Regulus and Evan had to join. They had no other choice. It was allegiance or death. It caused the first rift between them and the girls. Barty, Regulus still thinks, just joined to defy his father. Or it might have something to do with the longing glances he shared with Evan, their silent beds at night, almost as if spells had been cast to keep eavesdroppers away, their clandestine meetings, their disshelved looks as they emerged from rooms alone.

In any case, knowing their story doesn't change the ending. Regulus still lost the love of his life. He still went against the dark lord. He still died. All for nothing.

The last time he saw Evan Rosier, he had a feeling his best friend knew. Evan kept the conversation going, bringing random topics as if desperate to keep Regulus talking to him, as if that could delay the inevitable, as if he could steal time to keep his best friend a little longer.

Regulus lingered in his doorway a moment longer than needed.

The last time he saw Pandora, he sobbed in her arms. He clung like she was the only constant in his life. He sobbed in her arms like she was who Sirius was supposed to be for him.

And she held him without complaint. She sobbed with him, begging him not to go.

Regulus did not linger in her doorway.

If there was anyone who could have convinced him not to do what he was planning to, it was her.

The last time he saw Dorcas, they had a fight. Regulus wanted to shake her by her shoulders. I'm going to die. He wanted to yell at her. I'm going to die, please don't let these be my last words to you. Please don't remember me like this.

Coward, she called him.

The word replayed in his head all the way to the cave.

I'm trying to be brave. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell James.

The last time he saw Barty, they got drunk. Just two kids, laughing and giggling among themselves. Regulus was tempted to tell him what he was going to do. He didn't.

He'd find out from the papers like the others.

Barty, eyes half lidded, that troublemaker smile on his face that Regulus had hated at first, sat back and pulled out a box from his pocket.

I'm going to ask him to marry me. He said. I don't care if the preacher doesn't marry us, I'll carve his heart out for Evan. I'll carve my own out for him.

Barty was just the sort of deranged who actually would.

Regulus lingered in his doorway, staring at a passed out Barty. He walked back in, kissed his hair, closed the ring box in his hand and put it back in his pocket before he left.

Barty didn't ask Evan to marry him. Not after Regulus never came back to them. Not after they both kept waiting for their star.

Dorcas wailed like Regulus had never heard her. She clutched her chest, her lover holding her like she could protect her from the evils of the world. And Dorcas collapsed in her arms.

And Regulus knew they were all broken far before that day.

Pandora didn't cry. She didn't laugh from that day on either.

Evan died next. A battle that too. Just the sort of dramatics Barty loved. Regulus watched it all play out.

Barty was too headstrong, too obsessed with going against his father, even if it meant being on opposite sides of the wand.

He was angry, so angry. He didn't know how Regulus died, or what he died doing. Maybe he thought Regulus died because of the other side. Whatever the reason, he took his anger out on others, on anyone not Death Eaters.

He was grinning one moment, using the Cruciatus curse on some ministry employee. He was laughing, oh gods, what had they come to?

He looked away, searching for the love of his life. Evan was halfway across the room, locked in a duel with Alastor Moody. Evan was a strong wizard, Barty knew, so he laughed when Evan blasted the guy's face, blowing nearly a chunk of his face off.

Moody had lost and eye, Barty was so proud of his lover, and Evan laughed as he looked at Barty.

Evan had a ring in his pocket now. Barty's was in a box full of Regulus' things. Maybe in another life, Evan could have asked him only for Barty to pull his ring out. They'd cry and laugh as they slid their rings on.

Instead, in the split second it took for Evan to look at Barty, in love, distracted, Moody sent a killing curse. It hit him straight in the chest. Evan was dead before the grin was wiped off Barty's face.

Dorcas died next. She never did talk to Barty ever again. Not when he came sobbing on her doorstep, on his knees. He lost everything. And so had she.

Marlene had just been killed the week before. Barty pleaded and begged, told her it was Peter Pettigrew who killed her. Dorcas did not believe him.

The Dark lord himself had to kill her.

And then there were two.

Pandora died soon after. Regulus was glad she at least got to have a husband, someone she loved. Her parents were dead, her brother also gone, and her best friends. All dead. She had a daughter, a small bundle of joy with hair so blond it was almost white and with the same curiosity in her eyes Pandora always had.

It was good. Until one day it wasn't.

And Barty was left alone, to wander for years. The only one left.

He didn't join them in the after life. But the Dementor kiss isn't what stole his soul. He had died far before his mortal body did.

He died when Regulus did. He died when Evan did. He died when Dorcas did. And he died when Pandora did. So when it was his time to leave. There was nothing left in him.

[darkacademicvibes]

Hellooo! So I know you haven't posted in ages and you're probably busy or maybe not writing anymore but if you are and your requests are open... can you maybe do something for Theodore nott? If you don't write for him then maybe Barty Jr. Or Regulus or something?

Basically fem!reader is insecure and brings it up and he doesn't understand so she asks is they even love her anymore and they somehow propose right then and there? Like really tearful, and he's so hurt but he's also kind of blank about it idk and she says yes obvs, but he just doesn't know how to feel about what she asked?

Thankyouthankyouuuuu and if you aren't writing anymore that's totally understandable 🩵🩵🩵🩵

AHHHH YESSS I TOTALLY CAN BABES!!!

I'm always gonna write on this blog, lately I've really been trying to figure out my page and stuff and I just got done with exams so I've been busy, I'm sorry!!! I HOPE this lives up to expectations, I've never written an argument/yelling that turned to a proposal lmao <3

Look At Me

tw: cursing, idk I like it, he's very much sweater Theo lmao, nothing really to be honest with you

"-God, Theo, it's like you're never here anymore!" You huff, busying yourself with the dishes of a dinner you ate alone, again. The sound of his name instead of the nickname you'd always called him made him flinch. Theodore Nott had been your boyfriend since the beginning of your seventh year at Hogwarts, and you'd fought together in the war on Harry's side. Or, McGonagalls side, as Theo preferred to call it.

After Hogwarts, you'd moved in together which you'd defended to your parents as convenience. And his, well, his mother got ill quick, and then got better, and then ill again, and she'd eventually found out after he'd invited her over to make sure she was okay, and you'd come home to your boyfriends mother on the couch having tea. You'd easily slipped into comfortable conversation with your loving boyfriend and his (absolutely wonderful) mother and she'd guessed it by morning when you'd made everyone pancakes as you'd been woken up early by Theo on his way to quiddich practice.

Lately, however, he'd been home less. In fact, it began at the beginning of the year, while it is now November. You celebrated your third year anniversary of fully owning the house (thanks to his family money's help) and as that morning when you woke up, he was gone, he came home giddy, and then that night, went to bed nervous. And things hadn't been the same. You'd marked that night on your calander once you realized that was the last afternoon before anything changed.

April 4th.

Since then, he'd barely be at home, which isn't saying a lot seeing as he was a professional player for the Montrose Magpies and sometimes was forced to be away for day practices that led well until you'd gone to bed and weekend games that you always made sure to see.

He'd started getting up earlier, and going to bed either well before, or well after you. When you were wide awake, or fast asleep. Sometimes, he'd sleep in the guest room downstairs, instead.

He'd stopped with the casual kisses everytime he left the room, no longer pressing kisses to your temple, cheek, nose, shoulder, or head, and started passing by in silence, answering requests with hums, grunts, and nods. Your brother had joked he was finally going through the 'I hate my girlfriend' phase, but quickly shut up when you'd choked out a strangled breath that sounded like you'd taken a bludger to the stomach.

The thought hasn't left your mind since.

"I'm here now" Theo presses, standing behind the kitchen island, his hands braced firmly on the edges of the bench, gripping tightly. You scoff, scrubbing the pan harshly. Who invented pans that weren't non-stick? You wanted to hit them with your pan, your pan that now had bits of food and grease stuck to it.

"Theo this is the eighth night in a row I've had to put your dinner in the microwave" you give up on the pan, abandoning it on the bench and moving on to the pot you'd made the potatoes in. It was your day off, and Theo was supposed to be home at four, so you'd made a full dinner for you to eat together. A mistake, you now realized, as you didn't eat until seven when your food had already gone cold, and he hadn't come home until nine, when you'd usually do the dishes. He did them right after dinner for some unexplainable reason you didn't quite understand. Through, you were the one who grew up with supper. So you always made it and did dishes after.

"I told you not to count on me being home on time, bambino" he breathes, and you sniff, wiping your nose on the back of your wrist. He had, yesterday, but not today. "I wrote it down and left it on the kitchen counter-" a soft mew interrupts him, and you listen to the sound of him scooping up the neighbors cat.

"Pie, you shouldn't be here, your mama will be looking for you" you coo, glancing back at the soft, light brown cat. "She can stay" Theodore murmurs, cuddling the cat close. A pang of anger flashed through your stomach. That cat was getting more affection from your boyfriend then you'd gotten for most of the year. "No, she can't" your voice is snappy, and he sighs, kissing the top of Pies head and opening the back door, placing Pie outside and closing the door again before leaning against the wood, watching you.

"I don't understand what I've done to make you so upset, amore" he murmurs, and you snap, tossing the potato pot and the rag into the sink, taking off the ridiculous yellow gloves and tossing them onto the bench.

"You are never here, Theo" you insist. "And you go god knows where, because you weren't at practice tonight" you continue, when Theo opens his mouth to argue, you glare at him. Your voice shakes, and that makes you angrier. "No! You weren't, I called Peter, he was at home with his wife and baby son at four fifteen" you snap, and hurt flashes in his eyes. You want to apologize, but you haven't done anything wrong, not that you're aware of. You have suffered, for months, wondering what you'd done wrong. You didn't understand. You don't understand.

"So where were you? Were you with someone else, someone you can stand? Because it's pretty clear you can't stand me anymore" you toss your hands up, abandoning the gloves as you return to cleaning the dishes as Theo makes his way closer, returning to the island counter as you ramble on.

"If you were then just tell me and be done with it, because this wondering, the guessing, the hoping you aren't, the subconsciously looking for proof that you have been, is killing me" you ramble on.

"It is absolutely tearing me apart to think you don't love me anymore, trying to find reasons that would have you pulling away because surely, if you don't love me then you'd leave me, right? Except, I don't know, I don't know what I did-" you place the pot aside and start working on your plate. His is still in the microwave. "-I can't figure it out. Tell me what I did wrong, because I can't keeping going like this for much longer" you sniffle, and the sound has the guilt already drowning him shove him down deeper.

"I mean, do you even love me anymore? Because it really just seems like you're sticking around for convenience" You manage to mumble, your voice shaking as tears prick harshly at your eyes. You try blinking them back, but you have to harshly wipe your cheek with the back of your arm as the feeling of a few hot tears warm your cheeks.

A soft click sound from behind you and in your confusion, you turn, pausing at the sight. Theo is leaning heavily against the counter, his shoulders tense as the small dark blue velvet box sits open on the table.

A delicate gold ring, with agate as the stone sits undisturbed in the box, and you can feel your breath escape you because it is beautiful.

"I was afraid you would say no" he admits, gazing at you through his dark lashes you'd frequently voiced that you were jealous of. "I was afraid you'd say no, and I pulled myself away from you, and I'm sorry for not noticing how it affected you" he breathes. Almost as breathless as you.

He slowly rounds the island, gently stopping to stand beside you.

His hands land on your waist, delicate. "ragazza dolce, how could you ever doubt my feelings for you?" He murmurs, his thumbs rubbing gently over the skin of your hips. The touch makes you pause and, slowly, you melt against his chest. "You haven't touched me like this since April fourth" you start softly, gaze still on the ring, and he tenses beside you.

Fuck, you'd actually remembered the date he held you last? He knew it had been a while, he had felt horrible about his nerves pulling him away from you, but you'd memorized the fucking date he'd last touched you, and it was so much longer then he'd thought.

"You barely answer me anymore, I start every conversation, and it's either tense, or it falls through so fast i-" you hesitate. "It makes me feel like you don't see the point in talking to me anymore" his heart shattered, he could hear it, feel it- you'd felt so horrible, miserable even, and it was his fault. He'd been so wrapped up in how he felt that he hadn't even noticed you'd been miserable. Lonely.

"I'm sorry, mio caro, I'm so sorry" he murmurs, pained, his lips brushing the crook of your neck gently.

His hands gently guide you to face him, and you allow him to lift your hands, drying them off gently. "C'mon sunshine, I'm sorry, look at me" he murmurs, gently tucking his forefinger under your chin to guide you to meet his eyes. "I have been so nervous that I started pulling away, and I am so sorry you felt this way, sweet girl, I promise I love you" he assures you gently, watercolour eyes gazing into yours deeply.

"There has never been, nor will there ever be, anyone else. You are it for me, you are my Andromeda, I'm your Perseus, remember?" He pleads softly, reminding you of the last time you'd been in Hogwarts.

The astronomy tower would probably crumble if you stood in the wrong spot, still, you (almost) fearlessly ventured closer to the calm figure leaning against the wall of the castle, not for one second, caring that he was sitting in rubble. Gazing at the stars. He smiles at you as you stand beside him, and he offers you his hand, which you take as he helps you to sit beside him safely.

"Feel up to stargazing, my love?" He murmured, and you smile softly, leaning your head on his shoulder as his hand rests easily on your thigh, rubbing gently despite the dust-covered fabric in the way of your skin. "Always" you hum. He huffs a soft laugh and sighs warmly. "You remember those stars?" He asks softly, pointing out the constellation, and you nod against his shoulder. Andromeda and Perseus, the chained maiden and her lover. Her savior. Her husband, in entirety. They'd been so in love they were placed in the stars so their love would never end.

"Yeah, I remember, it's your favourite myth" he smiles, and he presses a soft kiss to your head, smiling himself. You'd remembered it was his favourite.

"If I was Perseus, you'd be my Andromeda" he murmurs, and you smile softly, melting into him. "If I was Andromeda, you'd be my Perseus" you retort gently, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder as shouts of names, and calls of joy fill the night air.

The war is over. All is well.

"My father is dead" Theo hums. The way he says it was almost as if he'd simply noticed the time and pointed it out. He found more empathy for the roadkill the two of you had come across two weeks ago, a rabbit that had been hit by a carriage.

"I saw. Are you okay?" You ask gently.

"Yeah, I'm okay, as long as I have you, I'll always be more than okay" he hums, chuckling softly. "My mother will be okay now, she's safe" he sighs, the tension leaving him slightly.

"She is, Teddy" you smile, and as he wraps his arm around you to pull you impossibly closer, you both gaze at the sky and you do what you do best together.

You talk, and you stargaze.

You nod slowly, tears slipping down your cheeks, and he sighs softly in relief, his thumb swiping the tears away gently.

"I love you, so much. I'm sorry I let myself get in my head, I should've realized I was hurting you" he murmurs, his lips pressed against your hairline as he tucks a few strands behind your ear, his fingers trailing down your neck, then your shoulder, all the way to your hand, where he links your fingers together.

"Teddy, are you asking me to marry you?" You murmur softly, eyes gazing softly at the ring again. He hums, "will you say yes?" He murmurs softly, his thumb brushing against yours.

"I can't imagine a world where I'd consider saying no" you breathe, and you can feel his lips tug into a giddy smile against your temple. He pulls away, only enough to reach the ring, and gently hums.

"Look at me, bellissimo"

Your eyes meet his and he leans down to press a soft kiss to your lips, the familiar softness of it almost making you swoon.

"Will you, the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on, make me the absolute happiest man alive, and do me the honor of making me your husband?" He asks quietly, his lips brushing yours gently.

You smile, and nod softly, "that's a yes from me" you hum, "a big, fat, yes" you laugh, and he chuckles along with you, gazing softly at you as he slowly slips the ring onto your finger. "Good, now give me a big, fat, kiss" he demands playfully "I miss kissing my fiancé" he murmurs, and it sets off fireworks in your stomach.

You lean up and press a big, fat, kiss to his lips, just like he asked.

You giggle as he wraps his arms around you happily, tugging you closer and tapping your hip in the all too familiar signal to jump. You wrap your legs around him and he kisses you harder, his hands under your thighs.

"I have a lot to make up for" he mumbles, making his way into the living room and dropping you gently onto the couch, pulling a giggle from you.

"Remind me to tell Draco not to sit on this couch next time he comes over" you tease, and he laughs, loud, and happy, and the sound has you melting.

You have your Theo back, and he's not your boyfriend anymore, he's more, and you couldn't be happier.

[severus-snaps]

Snape in the eyes of Pureblood Supremacists in Slytherin

Back at it again because I've had more thoughts following 'Mudblood' and Muggle-borns on Snape's youth and time in school (I started this what feels like so long ago, got overinvested, lost steam, and then just abandoned it - but might as well put it out there since I've made it Lengthy now. Welcome to part two of my half-baked metas, as it were).

A lengthy mixture of me projecting about Snape's early attitudes to blood supremacy and upbringing; the timeline of Snape's school years and the War; Snape's appearance and first impressions to his housemates (and others); Slytherin 'friendships' through the lens of what we see in the books from Harry's generation, and Snape's alluded-to 'friendships' with Lucius and the 'gang of Slytherins'; and the role of blood purity in Slytherin.

In A War Context

Going back in time for a moment, starting from the fateful night where the series begins:

31 October, 1981 Voldemort is vanquished. This is the same night that one-year-old Harry was sent to live with the Dursleys. We also see Snape crying in Dumbledore's office that night, in Snape's memories.

September 1981 Snape started teaching probably a month before that, age 21 (14 years prior to Umbridge's inquiries in the starting term of 1995).

Late Autumn/Winter 1980 (to early winter 1981) Snape turned spy when Voldemort decided the Prophecy applied to the Potter family. Scene on the 'windy hilltop' probably followed ver shortly after Snape finding out.

31 July 1980 Harry is born.

Autumn/Winter 1979 Snape overhears part of the prophecy and relays it to Voldemort.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies..."

[Note: I've made some assumptions. Trelawney tells Umbridge in September 1995 that she started work at Hogwarts "nearly sixteen years" ago. Hogwarts traditionally follows a British school calendar, with terms starting in September (autumn term) and January (spring term). Assuming she starts in time for a new term, if she started in the autumn (September 1979), and assuming the interview was some time before her appointment in time for a new term, her interview might have taken place in the summer of 1979, around June, July, or August - but she probably would've just said "sixteen years" instead of "nearly", so... If she started in the spring term (January 1980): Her interview could have been held in late 1979, possibly around November or December 1979, assuming that the intervew was held a short but reasonable amount of time before she took the role, and perhaps during the holidays. Seeing as JKR likes Halloween (aka All Hallows' Evening) as a date, she may well have delivered the prophecy on Halloween - and possibly the literal moment Harry was conceived. What a thought.]

However, I'm just as bad (if not worse) as JKR with numbers and dates, so please do correct me if this is total nonsense.

31 October 1979 Harry is possibly conceived, assuming a perfect 9 month pregnancy.

1979 Regulus Black dies. There's a flimsy bit of evidence to suggest Snape was Marked/started working for Voldemort in summer 1979 (imagine if it was Harry's future birthday lol) but really it could've been author error, putting Snape's joining the DEs (to my mind) any time from the aftermath of SWM onwards - but what use would Voldemort have for Snape when he's in school for another few years under Dumbledore's watchful eye, and has no money, information, or connections yet? (Unlike Regulus, who had a well-known, affluent Pureblood family, and the ability to use magic/research the Dark Arts at home as well as at school - this is, of course, assuming that Snape can't use magic freely at home because his father doesn't like magic or anything, much).

June 1978 Snape graduates from & leaves Hogwarts. "By the time [the Marauders] left school, Lord Voldemort’s ascendancy was almost complete. True resistance to him was concentrated in the underground organisation called the Order of the Phoenix..." [X]

1977/1978 Regulus Black joins the Death Eaters.

June 1976 "Snape's Worst Memory". Snape & Lily's friendship ends. Fear of Voldemort is already so ingrained that people won't use his name; Lily calls him "You-Know-Who". His followers are also widely known to be called "Death Eaters" by this time.

Early 1976 (approx.) The Prank. Shortly after, Lily 'accuses' Snape of hanging out with Mulciber and Avery. [Neither of these friends - nor any members of the 'gang' Sirius mentioned Snape belonging to - seem to want to hang out after exams or protect him from being hunted for sport during SWM (June 1976; during OWLS), nor are they ever mentioned to retaliate by a Marauder, so perhaps that 'gang' membership came later (c. 1978 in Snape's 7th year). Alternatively they were all already friends, but I'll go into more depth into the flimsiness of Slytherin friendships later. Just from info from the book text, it would be reasonable to assume the 'gang' attended school all at the same time - but Bellatrix was mentioned among them, by her married surname, and her generally given date of birth from wherever that sort of information comes from (seriously, I can't find a source that isn't the wiki) suggests that that she'd be too old to attend school with Snape - so who knows where Sirius got that from. There's also the fact that Sirius introduces Bellatrix as a Lestrange in the 'gang' context and not a Black, which suggests that she's already left school and married at a young age by the time Snape is in the gang. 'Early' marriage is normal for wizarding society after all - or perhaps it simply means that Sirius didn't want to associate her with his surname.]

Autumn 1975 - Summer 1976 Marauders 'finally managed' their Animagus transformations in their fifth year. [This had certainly happened by Summer 1976/SWM, as they had their nicknames by then, derived from their Animagi forms and Sirius wants it to be a full moon so they can run around.

As for whether the Marauders managed their transformations prior to the Prank, I've seen arguments saying that it is likely to have happened prior to the Prank, otherwise Sirius wouldn't know about the knot or how to slip past the Willow, and that Snape was "trying to find out what we were up to" which implies they were collectively up to something like becoming Animagi or running around, and in Snape's memories he says "they" sneak out at night, not just that there's something weird about Lupin.

On the flip side, perhaps it isn't likely they were Animagi by the Prank - otherwise it wouldn't have been a risk to James' life, since he could transform and be safe. (Of course, maybe James also couldn't transform in front of Snape without getting outed to Dumbledore and potentially getting all of them arrested and expelled or whatever, so it was a risk either way).]

Summer 1972 (approx) Lucius graduates. In the year(s) prior to this, Snape has presumably built some sort of friendship with him (enough for Snape to be considered Lucius' "lapdog"), which I'll go into later. If Lucius was a Prefect when Snape started, he'd have graduated from Hogwarts around the year of 1972/1973, after Snape's second year. Within seven years, by 1980, he was high-ranking and trusted enough by Voldemort to keep the diary Horcrux - (to open the Chamber, which, I assume, would destabilise the school to the extent that if Voldemort hadn't died, he'd have used it to take the school in the first war).

September 1971 Snape and Lily started at Hogwarts, aged 11. Lucius welcomes Snape to Slytherin. Voldemort "started looking for followers" around this time, and became more public in his agenda; at the time of Voldemort's death, the wizarding world had had "precious little to celebrate" for the past 11 years - and Voldemort had spent a few years even before that skulking about in the shadows, probably recruiting dark creatures and engaging in dark magic.

So, onto the show.

Pre-Hogwarts

Aged 11 (and probably for some time before that) Snape excitedly and somewhat naively hopes that he and Muggle-born Lily will be in Slytherin together. We can only speculate why Snape wants to be in Slytherin - perhaps because his mother was, since it tends to run in families. Maybe he's read somewhere that Merlin was a Slytherin and he has ambitions to be the next most powerful wizard of a generation (certainly seems to fit the Dark Arts interest, his experimenting, his disdain for reciting answers straight from the books, and his knowledge of curses/magic and wizarding society even before he attends Hogwarts). Maybe in line with that he's read about the Houses and thinks of himself and/or Lily as cunning and ambitious (he certainly thinks of them as "brainy", though he still didn't want to be in Ravenclaw, for example). Maybe it's mostly about 'rising' from his current situation, and he values the ambition to get there. In short, we have no idea what drew him to that House - but I doubt it's some desire at the age of nine to join a pureblood supremacist cult or to celebrate blood purity.

Snape's pause is often used by antis as a sort of gotcha for Snape already harbours blood supremacist views (as much as a child can 'harbour' anything; nature and nurture and all that. He'd have to have been taught). He's then spent two years getting to know Lily, seeing her (advanced) control of wandless magic and possibly training his own, and she's his only friend. He knows how talented she is; he can tell that being Muggle-born has no bearing on skill ("You have loads of magic"), and also likely knows from himself that being part-Muggle also does not influence skills. To my mind, Snape's hesitation when Lily asks if it makes a difference being Muggle-born suggests he might be aware of supremacist attitudes, but not necessarily that he believes them. I can believe that he'd dislike Muggles, but I doubt somehow that nine-year-old Snape, raised in a Muggle town, and his best friend the Muggle-born would've had too deep an understanding of the true extent of blood supremacy and how it could affect them, otherwise he probably wouldn't be suggesting she join Slytherin. Lily may be Muggle-born, but he's (at least) half Muggle himself, lives in the same place, isolated from wizarding society in almost the same way that most wizards are from Muggle society. As Draco might say, he's "never been brought up to know our ways."

But then, something is also going on with Eileen, which is why a witch is stuck in a less-than-stellar marriage with a Muggle who doesn't like magic, and living in poverty or distress severe enough to neglect her child - so Snape might know from being on the end of discriminatory attitudes himself, rather than simply holding them. Perhaps he'd seen his mother shunned as a blood traitor (after all, he's wearing his mother's clothes - where are the rest of the family? aunts/uncles/cousins? family friends?).

Eileen might be half-blood or Muggleborn herself, which is how she came to marry a Muggle. What we do know is that a pureblood supremacist witch would outright reject associating with Muggles or even visiting an area where Muggles frequented, much less forming a relationship, marrying, having a child, and living with one (Bellatrix even thinks that she and Narcissa must be the 'first of their kind' to visit Spinner's End). Maybe Eileen was from a dying-out Pureblood family like the Gaunts, viewing a Muggle man as an escape from something worse only for it to not work out... but even then, she'd still have liked a Muggle enough to abandon her family for one, which is more tolerance than you'd get from Bellatrix, for example. And even tolerant Purebloods don't really mix with Muggles; they just don't have enough shared understanding, and don't seem to know how the world would function without magic.

I'm personally very fond of the idea that Eileen might herself have been half-blood or Muggle-born - Hermione finds the name 'Prince' difficult to find in the school records, and they're obviously not a well-known family since Lupin says "there are no wizarding princes" - and he might have remembered if they were a family on a level with, say, the Malfoys, at any point in recent memory, and it seems unlike Hermione to not remember a name as easily memorable as Prince if she'd read about it somewhere. There's a whole host of options that perhaps Eileen's ancestors kept producing daughters and so the male name/line went extinct (as discussed with relation to the Peverells in the later books), but to me, 'first generation' (half and half) half-bloods, and Muggleborns, are the most likely to associate with Muggles in the first place - since wizarding society (with a few notable exceptions) tends exist fairly isolated from Muggles. Even Tonks - daughter of a Muggleborn man - seems to treat Muggles like some distant and foreign concept:

“Very clean, aren’t they, these Muggles?” said the witch called Tonks, who was looking around the kitchen with great interest. “My dad’s Muggle-born and he’s a right old slob. I suppose it varies, just like with wizards?”

Overall, Pureblood/Wizarding supremacist attitudes are commonplace in wizarding society, and take many, many forms - from a total lack of knowledge, to fascination, to disinterest and low-key derision of Muggles; from Slughorn's amused and impressed response to Hermione being skilled for a Muggle-born to Draco's frequent slurs; and Grindelwald/Voldemort's whole 'subjugate them all' deal to Harry's "they're just people, I guess??".

Snape could have been anywhere on that spectrum. In short, neither Snape, nor the wizarding world at large, know how much of a difference being Muggle-born was about to make.

First Impressions

This section is largely speculative, so be warned. I like to think it adds context.

When we're first introduced to Snape, and as his story unfolds, we get rather frequent descriptors of his appearance - more frequent than most characters.

The first description of Snape is "a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin". But the younger Snape had a "stringy, pallid look", being "round-shouldered yet angular" and with a "twitchy walk that recalled a spider", as well as "long oily hair that jumped about his face". Snape, when not in his robes, wears "clothes were so mismatched that it looked deliberate: too short jeans, a shabby, overlarge coat that might have belonged to a grown man, an odd smocklike shirt" that might have been his "mother's blouse". At various points, we're told over and over that he has "yellow teeth", an "overlarge nose", and "greasy" hair. As a kid, Sirius describes him as "slimy, oily, [and] greasy-haired". On the Marauders map, "Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball"; an ugly git; and an idiot; and even on the train during their first meeting, James decided that Sirius was "alright" for a potential Slytherin but Snape wasn't, and that Snape was neither brawny nor brainy.

In terms of Snape's experience at school, he was already in for a tough time for the crime of looking a bit weird. But more than that, Muggles and Muggle-borns are clearly and repeatedly described by Pureblood supremacists as common, filthy, dirty, disgusting, and foul - which is just how people might see Snape.

Gaunt describes Merope as a "dirty Squib", "disgusting little Squib" and a "filthy little blood traitor" (and she's a Pureblood witch, albeit struggling with her powers); and in CoS of course Voldemort calls his father "a foul, common Muggle". We also see throughout the books "Mudblood filth", and "filthy little Mudblood" in particular reference to Muggle-borns such as Hermione and Lily (and to Bob Ogden, who is not Muggle-born). Bellatrix describes Harry as a "filthy half-blood" and when Alecto Carrow teaches Muggle Studies during the events of DH, she teaches that "Muggles are like animals, stupid and dirty".

Obviously, descriptions of Muggle-borns and Muggles aren't necessarily rooted in physical appearance - Marvolo and Morfin Gaunt are Purebloods, as are the Carrows and Crabbe and Goyle, and none of them are described as being lookers, exactly, or well-groomed. They mean it in terms of blood being dirty. But greasy and poorly cut hair, improperly fitting clothes, the difference between someone like James who was "slight, black-haired like Snape, but with that indefinable air of having been well-cared-for, even adored, that Snape so conspicuously lacked" - all of these would be just another marker of Snape's poverty, neglect, and 'common-ness' to add to the fact that he was a Half-Blood/half a Muggle, and had a Muggle-born best friend in a House that didn't just accept or ignore these things, but actively scorned them. By comparison, privileged and powerful Purebloods like Draco, Lucius, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Sirius, and James are described (Draco as a child/young adult, the others in adulthood) as more handsome or noble-looking, or in other ways that denoted their relative attractiveness as a shorthand for 'good breeding'.

And obviusly, whilst Pureblood James & Co. would never call anyone a Mudblood:

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. “I don’t want you to make him apologize,” Lily shouted, rounding on James. “You’re as bad as he is…” “What?” yelped James. “I’d NEVER call you a — you-know-what!”

...they would suspend a poor, ugly, slimy nobody upside-down and (threaten to, or actually) remove their underwear in front of a crowd just because "he exists" - just like the Death Eaters do to the Muggle woman, Mrs Roberts, at the Quidditch World Cup (and probably other Muggles). Voldemort calls this behaviour "a spot of Muggle-torture".

Similarly, Draco et al.'s comment on Hermione's teeth ("the long-molared Mudblood") [See here for another meta on Snape's comment on Hermione's teeth], and on Lupin's clothes, and just a general knowledge of how teenagers and people are, show that they're not above making physical taunts that could just as easily apply to a young Snape, mocking Hagrid's "d'you call this a house?", calling him an oaf; the Weasley's "hovel" of a home, and Lupin's clothes:

“Look at the state of his robes,” Malfoy would say in a loud whisper as Professor Lupin passed. “He dresses like our old house-elf.”

Snape would also, when not in robes, have been wearing the mismatched and odd clothing likely to have been mocked in the same way by a family affluent enough to own a house-elf, and god forbid anyone Snape went to school with find out that he lives in a "Muggle dunghill".

Snape was undoubtedly used to this sort of thing from his time in Cokeworth (looking at you, Petunia), which was why he changed his robes so quickly on the train. As a child and teenager, Snape’s physical appearance - marked by greasy hair, mismatched clothing, and an overall unkempt demeanour - likely exacerbated his social isolation (seen as a child lurking to make a friend) and fueled the mockery he likely endured both at home and at Hogwarts - after all, Petunia also mocked Snape's appearance, as well as the Marauders and Harry.

I think there's also a comparison here, if tenuous:

“Want one, Granger?” said Malfoy, holding out a badge to Hermione. “I’ve got loads. But don’t touch my hand, now. I’ve just washed it, you see; don’t want a Mudblood sliming it up.” “I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,” said Sirius viciously. “There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.”

More than many other characters I can think of (perhaps besides Umbridge the Toad - and Sirius' dog descriptors, owing to his Animagus form), Snape is also most often compared to, or described in a way that provokes imagery of, animals. Snape is described on more than one occasion as an 'overgrown bat'; his nose is described as a "beaklike protuberance"; and once he is described as a lapdog. He snarls perhaps more than any other single character in the series [snarl: (of an animal such as a dog) make an aggressive growl with bared teeth]; Snape yelps; he roars; he howls; he bares his teeth; and my personal favourite, when he's described as "demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog".

Of course, when animalistic descriptors like these are applied to people Harry likes - such as Sirius barking with laughter - they come across as more illustrative and amusing than insulting, and even where Sirius is described in a less flattering light as "very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit", Sirius is still the one with the power, a hunter, and Snape is his prey. But that's decidedly the case with Snape - such descriptors are entirely used to be insulting and invoke specific negative imagery that paints him as out of control of himself and/or needlessly melodramatic, even when he is correct (e.g. Harry did help Sirius escape; Harry and Ron did break the law in CoS; Lupin did know more about Sirius getting into the castle than he was letting on; James really was that bad).

As readers we can recognise that Snape becomes agitated and enraged when distressed, triggered, or losing control of a situation, and when he is correct but not believed or trusted - but as anyone knows in a school setting, letting people see they're getting to you just leaves you open to further ridicule. It was this very 'overreaction' that James and Sirius especially liked to get out of Snape, and Peter liked to watch, which we see in SWM.

Here is also a section which illustrates all of these things; Snape is not only animalistic here, but we are reminded that he has a large nose again, he is ugly and unpleasant, melodramatic but not to be taken seriously despite being correct, and Harry/JKR/the narrative wants us to know it:

“Potter!” Snape snarled, and he actually turned his head and stared right at the place where Harry was, as though he could suddenly see him. “That egg is Potter’s egg. That piece of parchment belongs to Potter. I have seen it before, I recognize it! Potter is here! Potter, in his Invisibility Cloak!” Snape stretched out his hands like a blind man and began to move up the stairs; Harry could have sworn his over-large nostrils were dilating, trying to sniff Harry out...

In a real and fictional world (exacerbated by a Harry-centric narrative) where physical appearance and likeability is often seen as a shorthand for worth, goodness, or social standing, Snape's perceived lack of these things, combined with his half-blood status, friendship with a Muggleborn, and general demeanour, rendered him an easy target for mockery and othering - both within his own House, and from others like the Marauders - and would only serve to strengthen the association between Snape, his Muggle heritage, and common, dirty, animalistic Muggles in the eyes of pureblood supremacists/future Death Eater Slytherins.

With friends like these...

So what would entering Slytherin look like for a young Snape? He's spent the first eleven years of his life waiting for the moment he can leave Spinner's End, escape his father, and finally go to Hogwarts. And now he's here! A far cry from the less-than-friendly welcome he received on the train from James and Sirius, where he was insulted and tripped in a classic dickhead schoolboy fashion, Snape is warmly welcomed into Slytherin:

And Severus Snape moved off to the other side of the Hall, away from Lily, to where the Slytherins were cheering him, to where Lucius Malfoy, a prefect badge gleaming upon his chest, patted Snape on the back as he sat down beside him. …

I imagine that felt amazing to a young Snape after years of a challenging home life, dreams of escape, hopes of a welcome - after his father didn't like anything, presumably including him, or magic; after Petunia mocked his clothes and he seemingly had not made any other friends beside Lily. He's finally in uniform, the same as everyone else. A fresh start. Cheers as he approached from a whole table full of people. A literal pat on the back. He must have been having the best night of his life in that moment...

But setting that aside for a moment, I'm going to take a closer look at some of the Slytherin friendships that we do see. They're hardly loyal, warm, and close like the Trio, or even arguably the Marauders; nor does being a (fellow) Pureblood, or a fellow Death Eater, necessarily even grant you respect.

We see it often with Draco's so-called "best friends" (per Hermione in CoS), Crabbe and Goyle. They're not even on a first-name basis.

More often than not, Crabbe and Goyle are positioned to follow Draco, to be a receptive audience to Draco's jokes, and to act as his "cronies" or "bodyguards" - rather than his actual friends:

“Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle,” said the pale boy carelessly (PS) “You know I haven’t, Goyle, how many times do I have to tell you?” snapped Malfoy. (CoS) Crabbe and Goyle looked at [Draco Malfoy] for instructions, thoroughly bewildered (PoA) Malfoy beckoned to Crabbe and Goyle, and the three of them disappeared (GoF) Crabbe and Goyle guffawed sycophantically (GoF) Crabbe and Goyle lumbering in [Draco's] wake (OotP) Behind [Montague] lurked Crabbe and Goyle ... Malfoy stood to one side (OotP) Draco Malfoy had slid out from behind the door, followed by Crabbe and Goyle (OotP)

They start to drift apart by HBP, after Lucius' fall from grace within the Death Eaters and the setting of Draco's task. Crabbe and Goyle aren't in on Draco's plans despite all of their parents being DEs; there's a sense of dissent; and they even start to talk back:

Crabbe and Goyle were gawping at Malfoy; apparently they had had no inkling of any plans to move on to bigger and better things (HBP) "... if you are placing your reliance in assistants like Crabbe and Goyle �� ” “They’re not the only ones, I’ve got other people on my side, better people!” (HBP) Crabbe opened his mouth, but Malfoy appeared to second-guess what he was going to say. “Look, it’s none of your business what I’m doing, Crabbe, you and Goyle just do as you’re told and keep a lookout!” (HBP) [Harry] skidded to a halt and turned around. Crabbe and Goyle were standing behind him, shoulder to shoulder, wands pointing right at Harry. Through the small space between their leering faces he saw Draco Malfoy. “That’s my wand you’re holding, Potter,” said Malfoy, pointing his own through the gap between Crabbe and Goyle. (using them as human shields? - DH) “Potter came in here to get it,” said Malfoy with ill-disguised impatience at the slow-wittedness of his colleagues, “so that must mean — ” “ ‘Must mean?” Crabbe turned on Malfoy with undisguised ferocity. “Who cares what you think? I don’t take your orders no more, Draco. You an’ your dad are finished.” (despite this being one of their last encounters, Draco does appear upset by his death - DH)

[Also worth noting from the other meta I linked: "The power of the “Malfoy” name was the reason Crabbe kept Draco company. Now that that power is gone, he’s just some guy called “Draco”, so Crabbe drops him."]

And even on the train, where Harry is concealed beneath his cloak (OotP), doesn't feel especially warm, and everyone seems almost indifferent to one another (the scene is rather too long to quote here for the sake of an example, but I did stumble across this which was interesting). There's an element of tallying 'successes' or listing others' faults (such as the Weasleys being blood traitors, Harry being 'the Chosen one', Neville being... well, Neville, and whether Slughorn had gone senile). But fortunately I've also found another meta that goes into this in more detail; these people hang out together, but don't really come across as friends. Draco doesn't even tell Pansy his plans, and she's been on his arm for some time now; she seems surprised, and almost hurt, that she hasn't been told - but Draco doesn't really seem to care.

[Unrelated side note: I also think it's interesting that Zabini speaks "scathingly" about Draco's father, was invited to Slughorn's party (so has no known Death Easter connections), and is also an enthusiastic blood purist. (We also find out that his mother's seven ex-husbands died, so... maybe some of them were? Idk. It's just interesting that people would reject/be critical of DEs in that climate but still be a blood purist).]

Protected by their Pureblood status (I'll touch on that later, but have covered it in the first meta), Crabbe and Goyle cannot be targeted or treated the same way as Muggle-borns and Muggles; but that doesn't mean they get treated with respect. Draco may have liked Crabbe and Goyle, at least enough to be worried about whether or not they lived or died (although even that 'friendship'/comraderie evidently soured with the war despite being on the same side, because of Lucius' fall from grace with Voldemort) - but mostly he ordered them around. And they were content to follow, but started to dissent when Lucius (and Draco) are no longer the most powerful voices:

Who cares what you think? I don’t take your orders no more, Draco. You an’ your dad are finished.

We're also seeing these friendships under strain of a building war in which certain people are being recruited as Death Eaters where others aren't, and a majority of their parents are possibly (or certainly) already involved with Voldemort and/or his ideology; a perfectly reasonable parallel to Snape's own situation when he was in school.

But we're also often seeing these friendships not only through the lens of Harry, but in front of Harry, who acts as their sort of nemesis. It's perfectly possible that these friendships were warm and friendly and they enjoyed one another's company in the privacy of the Slytherin common room - but even in the scene in the common room (CoS), Draco does not seem to be impressed with their conversational skills, but still takes their blind acceptance of his leadership/sycophantic behaviour:

Far too late, Harry and Ron forced themselves to laugh, but Malfoy seemed satisfied; perhaps Crabbe and Goyle were always slow on the uptake.

My interpretation is that Slytherin friendships are more representative of the social circles of politicians or high society. You may be civil, friendly, and even end up real friends - but as soon as being friends with someone someone stops serving you, or damages your social standing, you’d turn on them to avoid any blowback. Friendships may exist but loyalty to a person isn't really part of it; there's an element of loyalty being to whoever has the most power in the room, be that from a combination of intellect, blood status, reputation, accomplishments, more powerful friends, or money.

Obviously, Snape is not entirely analagous to Crabbe or Goyle - being depicted as intelligent and curious and more outspoken, for starters - but also lacking those family connections, money, upbringing, or blood status. His only hopes were to build connections with more powerful people, and his intellect - especially since he's hardly described as having the size for physical intimidation or brawls. He was likely good at hexing people - I doubt he made all of those new spells just for fun - but JKR makes a point of telling us that it's James who hexes people for the fun of it, and showing us that Snape acts in retaliation ("Give me a reason").

And so Snape became, ultimately, a follower to more powerful people. We see Lucius in Snape's memories extending the metaphorical hand of friendship the moment that Snape is Sorted. Lucius is a Prefect, however, and several years older; no older teen wants to regularly hang out with an 11-year-old. And yet in adulthood Snape is described as "Lucius’s old friend"; Lucius "speaks most highly" of Snape to Umbridge; and Draco seems to like Snape already as a teacher, and even suggests him for headmaster in CoS, when "The appointment — or suspension — of the headmaster is a matter for the governors" - including Lucius:

“Sir,” said Malfoy loudly. “Sir, why don’t you apply for the headmaster’s job?” “Now, now, Malfoy,” said Snape, though he couldn’t suppress a thin-lipped smile. “Professor Dumbledore has only been suspended by the governors. I daresay he’ll be back with us soon enough.” “Yeah, right,” said Malfoy, smirking. “I expect you’d have Father’s vote, sir, if you wanted to apply for the job — I’ll tell Father you’re the best teacher here, sir —”

Perhaps Lucius, for the few years' overlap where Snape was in school and Lucius was Prefect, may have befriended Snape. But in a House where pecking order, prestige, and blood status play a role as well as age, this isn't certain. Far from being 'friends' in the traditional sense, Snape is once described as Lucius' "lapdog" (a small pampered pet dog; a person or organization that is influenced or controlled by another). Other metas and essays have pointed out may refer to a relationship like the Ancient Roman tradition of patronage:

Patronage (clientela) was the distinctive relationship in ancient Roman society between the patronus ('patron') and their cliens ('client'). The relationship was hierarchical, but obligations were mutual. The patron was the protector, sponsor, and benefactor of the client; the technical term for this protection was patrocinium. Although typically the client was of inferior social class, a patron and client might even hold the same social rank, but the former would possess greater wealth, power, or prestige that enabled him to help or do favors for the client.

Or, more worryingly, to 'fagging', which features in some older boarding school stories and may have been referenced, intentionally or not, by JKR:

Fagging was a traditional practice in British public schools and also at many other boarding schools, whereby younger pupils were required to act as personal servants to the eldest boys. Although probably originating earlier, the first accounts of fagging appeared in the late 17th century.  Fagging sometimes involved physical abuse  and/or sexual abuse. Fagging originated as a structure for maintaining order in boarding schools. Fagging carried with it well-defined rights and duties on both sides. The senior, sometimes called the fag-master, was the protector of his fags and responsible for their happiness and good conduct. In case of any problem outside the classroom, such as bullying or injustice, a junior boy's recourse was to him, not to a form master or housemaster, and, except in the gravest cases, all incidents were dealt with by the fag-master on his own responsibility. The duties undertaken by fags ... would include such humble tasks as blacking boots, brushing clothes, and cooking breakfasts, and there was no limit as to hours the fag would be expected to work. Later, fagging was restricted to such tasks as running errands and bringing tea to the fag-master's study.

I think it's more feasible that Snape was Lucius' "fag", or at the very least his errand-boy; it may well have developed into more of a patron/client style relationship in later years, post-Hogwarts, especially with Severus and Lucius both connected to the school (until Lucius was removed from the Board of Governors), and supporting one another in proposals/managing Slytherin house/Draco - and prior to that, working together with Severus reporting to Lucius under Voldemort.

In any case, Sirius calling Snape a "lapdog" implies that in some capacity Snape was influenced or controlled by Lucius in school. I say in school, because Sirius didn't even initially know that Snape was a DE, or that Snape was working at Hogwarts - suggesting that this insult was in reference to Snape's early years at school, before Lucius graduated.

Either option (fagging or patron/client) functionally makes Snape little more than Lucius' own personal house-elf, although perhaps he would've treated Snape better than a house-elf - despite his blood status and younger age, he was still a wizard. (And Draco does once say "this is servant stuff", possibly suggesting they also have servants/staff as well as a house elf; Voldemort's supporters are also called servants. Lucius was likely getting Snape 'trained'/grooming him). And of course there's Dumbledore's line to Voldemort feels particularly reminiscent of the type of relationship I'm imagining between Snape and Lucius:

“I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,” said Dumbledore. “I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.”

I'm firmly of the belief that it became more of a reciprocal patron/client relationship after school, rather than during; if Lucius had been 'polishing' Snape so that he appeared less... Snape, he didn't do well. Snape is 'clearly unpopular' and still 'greasy' as an older teen, and also Lucius and Snape's school years didn't substantially overlap.

This also ties into something I read somewhere (and please, god, if someone can find it I'd love to read it again) where it was argued that Snape appears to be well-spoken/polished enough for Bellatrix to be surprised (and disgusted) when she sees Spinner's End - as though she had no idea that Snape was from somewhere as run down as that. (She did, however, know that he wasn't Pureblood - she reckons that she and Narcissa must be the "first of their kind" to step foot in Spinner's End. To me, this also suggests further that Snape's mother wasn't Pureblood, because Bellatrix of all people would know the Prince name if she had been, and Snape may have raised it as 'evidence' for his 'worthiness').

Anyway, perhaps Lucius would've helped Snape go from the sometimes brash, stuttering teen to the (largely) soft-spoken, sharp-tongued adult - before he's introduced to the Death Eaters and Voldemort. Introducing a Snape who seems "common" or "lowborn" wouldn't have done Lucius any favours, but we can expect that Snape would otherwise have been considered useful; something I noticed on a recent reread is that Lucius was in posession of some poisons he thought might get him in trouble during the raids in CoS:

“You have heard, of course, that the Ministry is conducting more raids,” said Mr. Malfoy, taking a roll of parchment from his inside pocket and unraveling it for Mr. Borgin to read. “I have a few — ah — items at home that might embarrass me, if the Ministry were to call … and as you see, certain of these poisons might make it appear — ”

I like to imagine that Snape was the one who brewed them for Lucius since he's the character most often associated with poison.

Still, given the snootiness of the Malfoys, it is interesting that Lucius 'befriended' or otherwise used, groomed, or recruited Snape in the first place - and that other Pureblood Death Eaters just accepted it.

(Pure)Blood Is Thicker Than Water

I think we can assume that Lucius and Draco shared roughly the same views in school; Draco learnt it all somewhere, Lucius was in the same position of privilege and power in his school days, coming from a Pureblood family, and from what we can see of Slytherins of that generation, Regulus Black and his parents shared the view that Voldemort had the 'right idea', which apparently many Pureblood families did. These views aren't anything new; we can see that with Marvolo Gaunt. Voldemort just harnessed them, and he's probably been doing it since he was in school (with a Lestrange and an Avery in Slughorn's memory).

The Malfoys prided themselves on being purebloods; in other words, they considered anyone of Muggle descent ... second-class. (GoF)

Although the above quote is Harry's perspective, he's probably not wrong about the Malfoys' view on Muggle heritage. This is slightly complicated by writing from JK:

From the imposition of the Statute of Secrecy onwards, no Malfoy has married a Muggle or Muggle-born. The family has, however, eschewed the somewhat dangerous practice of inter-marrying within such a small pool of pure-bloods that they become enfeebled or unstable, unlike a small minority of fanatic families such as the Gaunts and Lestranges, and many a half-blood appears on the Malfoy family tree. [X]

Given the near-meaninglessness of 'half-blood', it's open to interpretation whether the Malfoys would allow someone with one Muggle parent, for example, to marry into the family; more likely they allow 'second generation' half-bloods or more, with some Muggle(born) ancestry but slightly removed by a generation or more. (Does this also mean the Malfoys are technically half-blood? The entire system is more political than scientific, but I expect they are 'technically' half-blood to stricter purists. Marvolo Gaunt would certainly think so: "Generations of purebloods, wizards all — more than you can say, I don’t doubt!")

But the attitude is what matters here.

Families like the Blacks, for instance, seem to have been more strict:

"If you’re only going to let your sons and daughters marry purebloods your choice is very limited, there are hardly any of us left. Molly and I are cousins by marriage and Arthur’s something like my second cousin once removed. But there’s no point looking for them on here — if ever a family was a bunch of blood traitors it’s the Weasleys." "While his will makes it perfectly plain that he wants you to have the house, it is nevertheless possible that some spell or enchantment has been set upon [Grimmauld] place to ensure that it cannot be owned by anyone other than a pureblood."

Walburga Black's portrait screams at everyone in the Order that they're Mudbloods, half-breeds, and scum - and the Order consists of Pureblood blood traitors, Half-bloods with two magical parents (good enough, perhaps, for the Malfoys - but not for the Blacks or Lestranges), and (one) Muggle-born. Of course, discrimination in familial marriage requirements and property owenership don't necessarily translate to how you'd treat people on a day-to-day basis, but the biases obviously inform it. Lucius, when trying to appear moderate in front of Fudge, is less openly hostile to the blood traitor Weasley family, for example.

But at Hogwarts, the teens and tweens are left unattended in their Common Rooms, free to be as cruel as teens and tweens can be without a guiding hand. In CoS, Draco is comfortable enough in the Common Room to discuss his family's illicit goings-on, brag about the fact that Lucius has additional knowledge about Voldemort's involvement in the Chamber opening last time, to say 'Mudblood' with careless abandon, and that he wishes Hermione dead, all in one breath:

“And Father won’t tell me anything about the last time the Chamber was opened either. Of course, it was fifty years ago, so it was before his time, but he knows all about it, and he says that it was all kept quiet and it’ll look suspicious if I know too much about it. But I know one thing — last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So I bet it’s a matter of time before one of them’s killed this time. ... I hope it’s Granger,” he said with relish. (CoS)

The Slytherin Common Room password, during a major event in which several students have already been Petrified by the Heir of Slytherin's monster, and messages left on the wall in blood, Draco manages to say "Mudblood" no less than 6 times in 3 pages - imagine how much it's being said in general, not just by Draco in the hour that Harry and Ron spend there. And the Common Room opens to a password of "Pureblood". Like I said in the previous meta, "there's a strong sense of pureblood supremacy communicated in that password that's only strengthened by the timing, echoing the Heir's agenda. In any case, it speaks to the entrenched nature of Pureblood ideology of Slytherin as a house."

Draco is also comfortable to say 'Mudblood' in public (Madam Malkins' shop), and in front of his mother:

“If you’re wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in,” said Draco Malfoy. (HBP)

So I expect it's a fairly common occurrence at home, since Draco's been using it since he was ~12, before the second rise of Voldemort. I suggest that Narcissa Malfoy (nee Black, after all) and/or Lucius Malfoy, and the rest of the Pureblood supremacists, were more than comfortable saying it as students, too.

Salazar Slytherin himself "wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed that magical learning should be kept within all-magic families. He disliked taking students of Muggle parentage" (CoS). The Sorting Hat sings in OotP "...Slytherin took only pure-blood wizards... just like him" and we see Walburga Black refer to Muggle-borns and half-bloods in the Order as:

"MUDBLOODS! SCUM! CREATURES OF DIRT!" “Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers — ” "Mudbloods, filth, stains of dishonor, taint of shame on the house of my fathers!"

Slytherin House is just as much home to the likes of the teenage Lestranges, Blacks, and Malfoys of the world as 12 Grimmauld Place was to Walburga:

“My whole family have been in Slytherin,” [Sirius] said. "Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I’ll be in Slytherin, all our family have been." [Draco]

Snape's presence there, in the eyes of some, is likely defiling the House of their fathers - especially during a period in which Salazar Slytherin's own heir was stoking the fires of Pureblood supremacy, affecting both Hogwarts and the wider wizarding world - and he was continuing to recruit Slytherin students. Certainly of those we hear a reasonable amount about who became Death Eaters, most (if not all) claim to be Pureblood, whether that be true or not:

"The Death Eaters can’t all be pure-blood, there aren’t enough pure-blood wizards left," said Hermione stubbornly. "I expect most of them are half-bloods pretending to be pure." "I got this one," [Neville] indicated another slash to his face, "for asking [Carrow] how much Muggle blood she and her brother have got."

But... Snape is not Pureblood; he is half Muggle. He would quickly be identified as half-blood, since "the pure-blood families are all interrelated", and "there are hardly any of [them] left". So I'm sure it must have come up as a (certainly impolite) discussion in the Common Room when it was realised that Snape was not Pureblood.

Somewhere above, I've quoted the ('not in the books' information) that the Malfoys accepted half-bloods into their family - and so perhaps their view on Snape as a half-Muggle would've been more moderate, although this isn't entirely guaranteed. Regardless, Voldemort-loving Regulus Black, whose mother called everyone from Purebloods to Muggle-borns "Mudbloods" would not have been so 'kind'; and certainly neither would Bellatrix Black, if she were attending around the same time.

We vaguely hear about Snape being "part of gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters":

"Rosier and Wilkes — they were both killed by Aurors the year before Voldemort fell. The Lestranges — they’re a married couple — they’re in Azkaban. Avery — from what I’ve heard he wormed his way out of trouble by saying he’d been acting under the Imperius Curse — he’s still at large."

Avery is mentioned both in this quote and in Snape's memories with Lily, so presumably at some stage Avery became friendly enough with Snape for Lily to comment on it. But this would imply that Snape only became part of this 'gang' later on - I hardly think that Lily would be fine with someone like Bellatrix but not with Avery, aka Generic Death Eater #4 compared to Voldemort's most well-liked (if you can call it that) Death Eater. There's also a curious lack of a mention of Mulciber in the gang, who was friends with Snape (per Lily), was confirmed as a Death Eater, went to Azkaban, and was apparently a specialist in the Imperius curse - and who Lily seemed to think was worse than Avery. Even more curious an absence from Sirius' retelling of Snape's 'gang' is Lucius Malfoy, given that he's the only person ever mentioned as Snape's 'friend' in adulthood.

Some Slytherin students' families were already tied to Voldemort (e.g. Avery and Lestrange, as seen in Slughorn's memories of Voldemort's youth), or would quickly become so - including Lucius, who left school and shortly after Snape arrived and was trusted enough to look after Voldemort's Horcrux/Diary, and Snape likely would've attended school with Regulus Black, who somehow managed to sign up at 16. Within the 'gang' of Slytherins was also apparently Bellatrix, who was certainly Voldemort's favourite, and a staunch blood supremacist.

I'm sure it was totally fine and she was very relaxed about it. She certainly didn't insult Harry for being a half-blood, both before and after Harry tells her that Voldemort is half-blood himself:

"filthy half-blood" "You dare speak his name with your unworthy lips, you dare besmirch it with your half-blood’s tongue, you dare -"

It's worth noting here the definition of 'besmirch' because I just thought it meant 'slander', which it sort of does:

She thinks that the claim damages Voldemort's reputation, and his good name. Bellatrix's reaction underscores the strong disdain and contempt that pure-blood supremacists have for anyone who is not Pureblood. To her, Harry's truth lie about Voldemort's half-blood status is an insult and an affront to Voldemort's perceived superiority. Bellatrix uses "half-blood" derogatorily, and later calls him a "filthy half blood" - highlighting the belief that being a half-blood is inherently inferior and contaminates his worth and status, despite Voldemort's considerable power, lineage, and reputation.

Bellatrix also seemed... surprised at where Snape lived in HBP:

“He lives here?” asked Bella in a voice of contempt. “Here? In this Muggle dunghill? We must be the first of our kind ever to set foot — ”

Perhaps, then, Snape lied about his heritage. After all Bellatrix, for all of her other insults, never insults Snape's blood status (that we see) - but then Half Bloods are awarded respect for their behaviour or usefulness, and Voldemort arguably thinks of Snape as his most trusted follower by this point, and Bellatrix can only question that to a certain point without appearing to question Voldemort. And, she only steps foot in Spinner's End after Harry's made his claim about Voldemort being half-blood himself, so she might be treading more lightly.

She may instead be surprised not because Snape's a half-blood (that would've been clear) - but because he, Voldemort's right-hand Death Eater, chose to stay in not only a Muggle neighbourhood - but a really old, really delapidated one.

Perhaps (if we are to go by JK's additional writings, and not by Sirius/ the book information alone), Bellatrix never went to school with Snape - she'd be a few years older, and would have graduated before Snape even arrived. She personally wouldn't have ever needed to taunt Snape for his parentage, especially if Lucius had already had a hand in polishing his appearance and speech.

Now think about what it all means for Snape. Snape's status as a half-blood places him in a precarious position within the rigid hierarchy of the (Pureblood supremacist) wizarding world. If it didn't then the other Death Eaters, and Voldemort himself, wouldn't pretend to be Pureblood.

And when you consider the fact that Snape is "best friends" with Lily - potentially as late as his 5th year - he's going to be on the receiving end of some very pointed questions even from the most 'lenient' Pureblood supremacist. Consider below some quotes from Draco which may have been applied to Snape:

“Saint Potter, the Mudbloods’ friend,” said Malfoy slowly. “He’s another one with no proper wizard feeling, or he wouldn’t go around with that jumped-up [Granger] Mudblood.”

I think it's worth noting at this point that Snape might be considered also not to have the "proper wizard feeling", as he grew up, like Harry, impoverished, neglected, and separated from Wizarding society. He also 'goes around' (is friends with) a "jumped-up Mudblood", the talented Lily (both Lily and Hermione were talented according to Slughorn, who coincidentally also rejected Draco). The only thing I might add is that Lucius sometimes warns Draco to hold his tongue, so Lucius might have been more politically-minded and not gone around saying Mudblood 6 times each breath.

More to consider with regard to Snape's friendship with Lily, based on Draco's quotes about his father and the political situation:

"... Father actually considered sending me to Durmstrang rather than Hogwarts, you know. He knows the headmaster, you see. Well, you know his opinion of Dumbledore — the man’s such a Mudblood-lover — and Durmstrang doesn’t admit that sort of riffraff."

"You’ve picked the losing side, Potter! I warned you! I told you you ought to choose your company more carefully, remember? When we met on the train, first day at Hogwarts? I told you not to hang around with riffraff like this!” [Draco] jerked his head at Ron and Hermione. “Too late now, Potter! They’ll be the first to go, now the Dark Lord’s back! Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first!"

Despite the pressure Snape probably faced to stop talking to a Muggleborn Gryffindor since day dot, it's interesting to note that Lily only seems to talk about Severus hanging out with Mulciber and Avery after the Prank, as if it were a relatively new development in the grand scheme of things:

"... I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! ... I don’t understand how you can be friends with them."

"You're hanging around with" being in the present tense gives me the impression that it's been a few weeks/months and this unexpected, inexplicable addition of Sev's new friends has surprised and worried her, causing this particular argument. They're not like him; until that point, she'd seen a side of Severus that didn't match the "creepy" and "evil" Mulciber and Avery. Perhaps he tried to hold out as long as he could, but the Prank spurred him to realise that he needed to fit in with more people than just Lily.

But none of Snape's "precious little Death Eater friends" are shown to help him during SWM, and some of them, presumably, would have finished the exam at the same time, left at the same time, and gone out to enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. Lily leaves with her friends, James leaves with his friends, and Snape leaves alone to sit in a bush. When Snape was finally accosted by the Marauders, "Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular."

This is the situation unfolding in Snape's dormitories; a growing sense of unsafety, of choosing sides.

"Don't pick the losing side, Snape. I'm warning you, you you ought to choose your company more carefully. You'll be the first to go, now the Dark Lord’s rising. Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first."

On the one side, Snape could follow Lily and other future Order members, the opposition of Voldemort under Dumbledore; the ones who strung him in the air and threatened to strip him, the ones who silenced him after the Prank, who didn't listen to his side of the story. He could remain neutral, perhaps work for a Ministry that regards nepotism as a valid career path, and whose blood supremacy is quieter but no less damaging to his opportunities. Or, Snape can approach the side who may have initially discounted him - but they're his House, his family-away-from-family. They cheered when he entered their House; they extended the hand of friendship. Perhaps they're starting to see his value, because he's finally starting to play along like Crabbe and Goyle do - laughing at jokes that aren't funny, siding with the more powerful people in the room. He's sharing a laugh with them about what they "tried to do to Mary Macdonald" - because in his mind, even if it was Dark Magic, it's not as bad as or is on a par with "the stuff Potter and his mates get up to" (aka attempted murder; illegal hexes like on Bertram Aubrey).

[There's also a fun essay somewhere that argues the 'dark magic' in question was Levicorpus since Hermione shares a reaction with Lily and Harry/Ron share a reaction (and descriptive language "just a laugh") with Harry/Ron but I don't remember whose it is or where i read it :( I literally can't find it so if someone knows where it is, I'd love to find it again.]

I expect that that Snape's started to earn himself some (perhaps begrudging) respect by this time for spell creation and his academic success, and that eventually Snape proved himself (as half-bloods need to do) as useful.

...But useful doesn't mean essential. Lucius was useful to Voldemort, until he wasn't. Snape may have been useful to the other Slytherins, but they didn't help him until they had some reason to, until he was powerful - when Voldemort trusted Snape above Lucius, and Bellatrix. Snape himself was ultimately, arguably, the most useful to Voldemort - and he still killed him.

But Snape doesn't know any of this yet. It's 1970, and Voldemort has just started recruiting in earnest. Like the other future Death Eaters, he's no doubt been told that "Lord Voldemort rewards his helpers". Loyalty to the cause means "reward[s] beyond any of his other supporters". "He would reward you beyond all of us." And he's starting to believe it; he's starting to find a community, approval, and a sense of power and protection. He lives with people who believe he's lesser until he proves himself, and he possibly shares a dorm with them. Conforming to it, even playing into it, contains an element of survival - since he has no other connections, power, money, or a good name for himself. His relationship with Lily is straining; she doesn't ask his side of the story with the Prank, she doesn't see why he'd spend time with Mulciber and Avery. They're growing up and growing apart. The only resistance to Voldemort at this point is Dumbledore - the same man who silenced Snape on the Prank and, to Snape's mind, turns a blind eye to the Marauders sneaking around and tormenting him, and attempting to murder him. Why should Snape trust Dumbledore? Why should he later trust the Order? If he doesn't pick a side, he'll surely just get caught in the crossfire.

Voldemort is nearing the height of his power - for Snape's own survival, he reckons he's got a better chance with the Death Eaters. And who can blame him?

If only things had been different.

"You know, I sometimes think we Sort too soon."

[brandileigh2003]

Masterpost: Here's my rec lists!

•main, •Hidden gems/underrated fics, •wips, •chronic illness/disability/deaf/blind, •trans remus/Sirius, •older aged wolfstar, •fluff, •raising harry and/or teddy, •autism, •mcd, •Asexuality, •texting, •tattoo parlor, •Holidays, •coffee shop, flower shop or bakery, •Hogwarts era, •divergent post-azkaban, bring back black, lie low at lupins •athletes

•Recs part2 •one shot version, •my to reread list, •my read a 3rd time, •jegulus

(I try to keep all of these updated (at the bottom of each) and always feel free to tell me what I missed, or give a self rec)

*please give these authors love if you like their work*

My fics are currently hidden. They will probably be back so I am keeping this post. Besides, I'm proud of my rec lists.

Silence between us a soft wolfstar falling in love, features Sirius dealing with anxiety, and remus who is deaf and has an adorable service dog. (Complete, 30k)

Silence between us universe: can stand alone, but will have some spoilers for main fic. collection of one shots, more to be added. Silence within remus' pov of silence between us, Signs Between Us, Where the Silence Began

---All completed unless marked, no particular order---

Collapsing: 1st war divergent wip, accident leaves Remus severely injured. (17k now complete)

A New Chapter (26k) follows trans remus from Hogwarts through divergent end of the war, studying how lycanthropy and disability affects his life and relationships

Inevitable When you finally fall in love, you never expect that you'll have to lose them way too soon. Cancer fic with MCD. Ending did help me heal some from heartbreak though. (8k)

A Matter of Loyalty (13k) 1st war divergent fic, dual pov, angst, check tags, now completed

DN(R): lie low at lupins, canon divergent. Remus explains what led him to get a "DNR" tattoo (3k)

Identically pining Hogwarts era 1 shot. mutual wolfstar pining, identical twins sirius and regulus where Reg decides to help get them together. Remus is disabled. (6k)

I've got you: hurt/comfort sickfics (56k)

Other Side of the Screen: sirius falls for remus' voice, even more as they become online friends. But there's still a lot they don't know about each other. (3k)

Memories of you: Exploration of Sirius' grief in two parts. (7k)

Through the Years: older wolfstar. Married with grandkids (2k)

Parks and Playdates: Remus didn't imagine joining a playgroup would bring so much joy into his life (4k)

I don't wanna be anything other than me trans fest fic: Lily and remus friendship, remus transitioning at school, pining Remus (4k)

Tears of Blood: mcd, 1 shot, historical fic exploring Spanish influenza (3k)

Hearts finally in sync: divergent lie low at lupin's (3k)

House of cards: 1st wizarding war wolfstar internal thoughts (3k)

Bad practices: remus is spiraling bc of his past and Sirius helps him work through it (make sure to check tags) (2k)

It all comes back around: centering around two run-ins with boggarts (5k)

The truth sets no one free: Sirius was given a trial and gets his freedom but it's at a steep cost. One that he'd rather not pay.

I would do it again: fluffy and sappy wolfstar

An unlikely place to fall in love: au/modern 1 shot: both chronically ill and meet in the hospital (2k)

Guarding remus au/modern 1 shot high school colorguard fic, Sirius pov, ft trans remus (7k)

In Every Universe: series of unrelated one shots for FFF. Updates when inspired by prompt.

Song Interrupted siren Sirius who wants a way to not have to kill to live. (4k)

A matter of choice sirius turns to alcohol after a bad mission and he's questioning choices and love (1k)

On sinking ships (you showed up just in time): Titanic dorlene fic with no mcd (14k)

How to find me: i'm on tiktok and Instagram. I have Twitter and youtube under same screen name but I don't do anything over there.

[seriouslysam8]

Bête Noire anon here !

This might be my interpretation but i really like what we learn about Walburga's personality and motivations through Alphard's POV in that story vs what is conveyed to us by Dumbledore in Backstabber and Sirius throughout the entire Petrichor series.

Both Sirius and Dumbledore see her as plainly two-dimensional evil, although for different reasons. Sirius' perspective is of a child whose mother barely cares to provide her son with even a modicum of affection and, once he gets sorted into a wrong house and gets progressively more rebellious, Walburga goes all in into abusive territory. Dumbledore, well.. i think his age (sorry, but dude is nearly ancient) and early life experience with Grindelwald resulted in him having little nuance at times - he pretty much irrevocably perceives Tom as evil right off the bat without considering that this is a kid in an orphanage inbetween 2 world wars and great depression, of course he'll be fucked up. He perceives Walburga the same way as well but well, not like she'd known any better with Blacks at the time, eh?

Alphard's POV, otoh, shows us that yes, bitch is crazy, but in a screwed up way she cared and protected her little brother and that she is capable of love (at least an obsessive one). The dialogue between her and Alphard after Alphard helps Sirius escape, imo, also hints that she might have come up with that absolute abhorrent shit she did to Sirius not just out of Black madness Dumbledore refers to in Backstabber, but out of fear of how Voldemort might retaliate to her and Sirius should Sirius continue showing metaphorical (and literal) middle finger to the family.

All that is to say, as much as I love Brumous, I think I'll just keep nagging you until you wrap up Bête Noire. 😋

Gosh, I really need to finish Bête Noire. There’s only two chapters left.

Your analysis is exactly how I perceive it.

Sirius is a very unreliable narrator when it comes to his family, because of everything that came to a head Bête Noire. He has filed them as foul and evil, refusing to acknowledge even the good and/or decent times before he went to Hogwarts. You see the stark contrast with the way Andromeda and Sirius talk about the past. Andromeda is more nostalgic about their childhood, often talking about how close they were and all the fun times at Alphard’s and their summers in France. But for Sirius, it’s harder for him to remember those times because he was younger during those times and because his teen years just got progressively worse with each passing year. What happened during Christmas of 1975 just overshadows any positive memory he may have. There’s just a dark stain for him. Honestly, I don’t blame him in the slightest. What happened was absolutely abhorrent.

By contrast, Alphard grew up with Walburga. I imagine their relationship was a lot like Sirius and Regulus. They were close until they weren’t. The only reason it didn’t break completely was because Alphard never left the family. He just put more space between them, slowly drifting further away. It’s very evident in Poisson that Alphard, by this time, is more interested in spending time with the children than he is with his siblings. It’s mentioned that Alphard always seemed to miss Voldemort when he came by Grimmauld Place and was able to avoid taking the Mark by carefully curating his schedule to be conveniently away. If it wasn’t for the children, Alphard would have broken away completely.

I agree, what Walburga did to Sirius was out of desperation. She has this obsessive love towards Voldemort. She makes it clear in that memory in Brumous that she wanted to raise Sirius and Regulus with him. He had zero interest in playing house and made it very clear that he didn’t want to see the boys until they could be useful to him. This idea that Walburga had in her head was never going to happen. Yet, she clung to it. The more Sirius slipped away, the more she panicked. So what happened in Bête Noire was the breaking point for her to keep her relationship and status with Voldemort intact. Even Sirius goes into the situation thinking he’d get a lecture and locked in his room all of the holiday. He never even thought that things would get as bad as they did. He was more worried of being forced into marriage with a Bellatrix or to take the Mark against his will. He never even imagined that Walburga would do the things she did to him. That any of them would have done the things they did to him.

Obviously, this isn’t what I think happened in canon. I don’t think the break was so messy nor do I think it was one big event that caused him to leave. I think there was a lot of little stuff that piled up until he couldn’t take it anymore. To top it off, I do think there was a lot of emotional abuse and manipulation. It wasn’t a healthy environment. Sirius seeing what a normal family was like by visiting the Potters only helped drive that wedge even more between him and his family.

[jfleamont]

I have a kind of specific question that I'm hoping you and your followers could help me out with.

I'm writing my own version of the classic marauders fic, but I suck at writing the death eaters I don't enjoy writing antagonistic characters particularly and don't even have a super clear idea of who is who/ who fits to include(besides perhaps the main ones like Snape and regulus) especially since there's so little canon, so the majority is often fan made. of course they are essential to the plot though!

I want it to obviously be my own work, but I would really appreciate any pointers of where to start with these characters, even just a list of the right characters to start developing my own interpretations of.

this is obviously a very big ask, so any help or pointers anyone can offer to give me a nudge in the right direction I'd be so grateful for!

Hello! Sorry for the late reply, I had two exams and I have two more coming up but I've been dying to reply to this ask since you sent it :)

I'll preface this by saying that, much like you, I'm really not into these kind of characters and I don't enjoy writing them, nor do I have the skill to do so. I have only written one-shots and none of them had any Death Eaters in them; however, I do have a WIP (that I started almost one year ago and that I plan on finishing sometime this summer) that's going to be around 10k and it will most certainly feature those kind of characters, so this is actually really helpful for me too and it might help me get out of this funk since I haven't worked on that WIP in months.

That said, let's get to work!

The first name that comes to mind is Lucius Malfoy. We have quite a bit of info about him in canon, and I believe he's 6 or 7 years older than the Marauders. He was a prefect and was in the Slug Club, and was friends with Snape for the brief time they were at Hogwarts together. After leaving Hogwarts he married Narcissa Black, another pureblood, got a job at the ministry and at one point he met Voldemort. If you want to write him into your story, depending on the year your fic takes place, you could show him taking Snape under his wing and giving speeches about blood purity. I think by then he was already a prefect so he probably abused his power and gave detentions to Gryffindors and Muggleborns/Halfbloods for no reason; I don't know if he'd use violence or hexes, because he's far too diplomatic for that. I think he was really good at convincing people, he manipulated them and made them do the dirty work for him. He'd occasionally hex people for fun but due to his upbringing, he knew better than picking petty fights in the hallways, and he strikes me as the kind of person who was very driven and who thought about the bigger picture. He had, after all, a place in the wizarding world by right of birth, and his family was quite openly in favour of blood purity and all that racist bullshit. Snape, on the other hand, had always been picked on and he learnt at a very young age how to defend himself (and was easily triggered). Lucius didn't need to. He didn't have Snape's rage and didn't want revenge. If you want to start your story when the Marauders are a bit older (16 or 17), you could say that the wannabe Death Eaters at Hogwarts sort of idolised him because he was so young but already in Voldemort's inner circle; furthermore, you could have him actually recruit students, and have them take Unbreakable vows, teach them the Unforgivable Curses and make them get the Dark Mark. They could meet in Hogsmeade (since he's no longer a student), kinda like Harry does with his first DA meeting.

Barty Crouch Junior is another Death Eater that comes to mind and it could be an interesting character to work with. He was at Hogwarts during the 70s and roughly the same age as James & his friends. He came from a pureblood family, but I don't think they were the kind of people who actually wanted Muggleborns dead; after all, Crouch Senior was already a prominent figure in politics, and he was head of the DMLE (Department of Magical Law Enforcement). But he did have an aggressive approach towards criminals, which partly explains his son's obsession with violence. Barty Junior also had a very complicated relationship with his father, a man who was probably incapable of showing affection and was too busy working to take care of his son. I think Barty hated him but wanted to impress him at the same time and, in a very fucked up way, he did those horrible things because he wanted his father to pay attention to him. We don't know why he chose to become a DE, but my impression is that he was a very lonely, insecure kid and he found a sense of belonging at Hogwarts, something I don't think he ever felt when he was at home. Whether he joined the very people his father was after out of spite or not, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that he did believe in those things by the time he was older. He was also very intelligent - he disguised himself as Moody for nearly a year - albeit highly unpredictable. He was delirious and insane in some scenes, but overall quite reasonable when he pretended to be Moody, so he could have had a personality disorder, but if you want to write about that you should do some research and be careful, because associating villains with mental illnesses could do more harm than good if not done well, and it's a slippery slope. All I'm gonna say is that he definitely had some daddy issues, that's for sure.

Then of course we have Regulus, whose family was very much against Muggleborns. We know quite a lot about the Black household thanks to Sirius, and there are different headcanons floating around about the kind of bond the two brothers had. In my opinion, Regulus looked up to his brother and was envious of him: even at eleven years old, Sirius had already made up his mind about his parents' view of the world and wanted nothing to do with them. It shows that he was an independent thinker, and I think Regulus wondered for a long time how he could do that so easily. Was Regulus not strong enough? Or did he feel like he didn't have a choice? Because Sirius had James, so he wasn't completely alone. Regulus had no one. Obviously, I know he did have a choice, and he shared his parents' (and Voldemort's) political views. When Voldemort hurt Kreacher he turned against him, which is very interesting and unusual, mainly because pureblood families do not have any sort of respect or affection towards elves, while Regulus clearly did.

As for the others, I think Mulciber and Avery are mentioned by Lily while they were in Hogwarts, and they're the ones who cursed Mary Macdonald (this is mentioned in SWM). I think they went to Azkaban after the first war, unlike Evan Rosier (mentioned during Karkaroff's trial) who was killed when they tried to arrest him.

I suggest you also look into the Sacred Twenty-Eight - a list of pureblood families from which the Potters were excluded because they had been pro-muggle for a couple of generations, I think - to get an idea and maybe an inspiration for an original DE character.

So, if you want to include Death Eaters in your fic, you could make a list of possible characters and mention their relationships and friendships; you could make one of them really good at dueling, and another one good at flying (and make them James' rival during Quidditch matches). Death Eaters were Voldemort's followers first, and friends second, so it makes sense that there was a hierarchy: you can choose one of them as a leader, and the others could be the minions, the brawns and the brains (Snape would probably be the latter since he was smart and actually invented some hexes that were very useful to the DEs). And if you want to make things even more interesting, some of them could also be from different Hogwarts houses (not the ones I've mentioned because they're all canonically Slytherins), and they could also be girls!

If you want more ideas, there's a 2014 film called 'The Riot Club' (which I didn't like to be honest, but that's not the point lol) that explores the violent behaviour that often occurs in these kind of social circles; and while you're at it, you could also research 'hazing', a phenomenon that is often associated with fraternities and sororities in college that, while pretty disturbing, could also make for a much more compelling story.

Historically, boarding schools have often been described as toxic environments: for the majority of the year these young kids are separated from their families and while this is beneficial for some, for others it's very dangerous. During the most vulnerable period of their lives, they have to rely on authority figures that do not, however, provide the love and affection that parents do; this creates a dissonance, and kids either isolate themselves, or create their own 'families', and some are more dysfunctional than others (i.e. the Marauders vs. Snape's gang).

This is all I could think about, but as always people are welcome to add their own thoughts and headcanons!

Hope this helps, and feel free to ask me whatever you want :)

[riddikulushq]

IC INFO:

Character name: Regulus Black Age & Birthday: 20 & October 17th Gender & Pronouns: Cis-Male & He/Him Occupation: Unemployed Blood status: Pureblood Previous house: Slytherin Previous Affiliation: Death Eaters (Traitor), Order of the Phoenix Face claim: Timothee Chalamet Traits: + Intelligent, Cunning, Resilient, Audacious, Candid - Contriving, Inhospitable, Caustic, Sardonic, Capricious

TAKEN BY MJ

CHARACTER SUMMARY:

When Regulus was a child, Sirius was his hero. His big brother was just about the best person that Regulus could think of spending time with. With a mother that would rather lash out in anger than admit one of her sons were worth an ounce of affection and a father would drank too deeply to care what happened to either of them, Siruis was by far the most important person to Regulus. He would wake up and seek Sirius out. He would seek Sirius out in moments of joy, fear, and sadness. 

Through the neglect and abuse, they always had one other. The nights they spent huddled on one of there beds, wounds cleaned by one another, heads ducked under a blankets and secret dreams shared between them were too many to count. 

While growing up in the black home was closer to survival than a childhood, it did teach Regulus some very important lessons. His teenage years, taught him some very harsh truths. 

He never meant to start competing with Sirius. He never wanted to be pitted against his best-friend, his only ally and older bother. One night, when Regulus was six, he can still recall this, he begged his mother to stop comparing them. She shut up him up by casting crucio on him. A quick message to never question what she did. 

In the end, Regulus just caught on faster than Sirius did. He learnt how to play the good son. How to do what expected before he was asked. How to take punishment and repeat rederick. He was good at playing the part too. So good at bowing his head. Letting his mother fuss about his hair getting to long. Letting his father ‘teach’ him to take pain like a man should.

He tried to tell Sirius how to succeed with there parents. How to make it easier on himself but at the end of the day, Sirius left. 

The Summer that Sirius didn’t come home from Hogwarts was by far the worst of Regulus life, minus the last three years. 

He had a desision to make. Run away like Sirius and have his parents peruse them both to the ends of the earth or stay. Continue to take there cruelty but be there perfect boy. Stay and protect Sirius from ever having to deal with them ever again. Regulus stayed. 

Regulus hates, deeply, how much he still loves and cares for his brother. 

So the years went on,` Hogwarts provided brief respite from his parents hovering eye and controlling grip. He made few friends but those he gave the title too were held so tightly it must have been a struggle for some of them to breath. Despite this, Regulus was fickle with his friends. One slight against him, one thought that they may leave him and he would pull away. His trust was breakable. His deepest truth was that those who love you, leave. 

At fourteen, both Dumbledor and Voldemort began to play leading roles in Regulus’s life. His parents where thrilled when he got his dark mark and very quickly began to engrain himself into the Death Eater cause. They knew nothing of Dumbledor’s plans for Regulus. 

Regulus was a bright student, top of his grade in near everything. Dumbledor knew well that this would allow Regulus to climb the ranks of Voldemort's followers and his cold, calculating nature, would allow him to gain toms trust. 

He did just that. 

By seventeen, Regulus had found out not only the location of the first horcux but how to destroy it. He went after the horcux and nearly died retrieving it. He was pulled into the lake by inferi and what Dumbledor saved was not the same regulus. 

Because of quick way the inferi grabbed Regulus and pulled him under the water, his right ear drum burst. Magic could not undo the damage and he is def in that ear. 

He drown, and did die but Dumbledor arrived in time to bring him back. He was dead for three minutes. In that time, Regulus had some minor brain damage that affects his right arm. When he was recovering in the hospital after all this, his arm would shake violently when lifted or used to hold anything. These days it is a lighter tremble. He still struggles to life his arm over his head or hold anything more than ten pounds in weight. 

He is still struggling with Hydrophobia.

Regulus has been dead for the last year. At least to the public. He has been recovering in secret with Dumbledor. The only other person who knows he’s alive is Severus Snape. The two very much needed his help to get Regulus back on his feet medically speaking. 

Coming out of hiding, Regulus is unsure of what greats him in the land of leaving. 

[mythicalltea]

Kids, I don't know how to work Tumblr really, but I wrote this little thing this morning that is much too short for ao3 so it's gonna live here until I have the motivation to maybe build off it one day <3

Regulus used to love caves. 

He loved it back when he was young, when his brother would find a new cave for them to explore and make a world of their own. A world in which at any given moment they could escape to, even if it was just for an afternoon. 

He used to love caves. 

But now, as he lay in one, the cavern large and surrounding him overhead, how he realized just how much he hated them. And how desperately he wished his brother was here to save him from this adventure. 

But he wasn’t. He won’t be. 

That time, the time he reminisces about? Is long dead. Something that, even if he survives this, which he knows he won’t, he could never return to no matter how hard he tried. 

But, god, did he wish he could. 

When he was young, at just the right age to begin to have memory, he remembered how much he adored and worshiped his brother. He was kind, he was loud, he was carefree. And he protected him. He protected him when Regulus didn’t even know he needed protecting. At the age when he realized his father wasn’t superman, and his mother wasn’t a goddess, Sirius was there to be both for him. And he took advantage of it. 

That phrase, ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone,’ you know?

And he was gone, that was for certain. For years now, he was gone. And who could blame him? Sirius always got the brunt of it from their parents, just so Regulus didn’t get any. And how Regulus returned the favor, to get that wretched mark the moment he was of age. That horrible snake that still felt like it was alive on his forearm now, as if it was fighting for its life just like Regulus was now. Drowning in his skin. 

But he knew who was the stronger of the two, who could fight the longest, and Regulus knew it wasn’t him. It was never going to be him. The cave grew darker, the walls of it crashing on him as his body was finally dragged down after giving in. And the only thing he could think of at this moment was that very first cave they found when they were small. 

It was a little one, one that wasn’t too deep, yet big enough to them and their imagination. 

They called this world Starfree. And in Starfree, the two kings who ruled it were allowed to be whatever they wanted. The Lion and his protector. They visited Starfree whenever they were able, and with each visit, it allowed the world to grow, to turn into a universe of sky high buildings and grottos with crystal clear waters. 

And then there was the next cave. They found this one many years later, when they were older. Sirius had just begun school, and Regulus was set to start the next year. It was his first summer back, and if it weren’t for Sirius being adamant on going to their cave again, Regulus would have feared he would be different forever.

This cave was called Starsun, and Regulus tried to ignore the pang in his chest when he realized it was named after new people in Sirius’ life and not just him. In Starsun, the Lion still ruled, but it was different. It wasn’t the same Lion that ruled over Starfree, that was for certain. Regulus remembered the big sign Sirius made one day for Starsun, that had a big stag on it and he said it was to be the world's protector when neither of them were there. But why did a stag need to protect it when the Dog and the Lion were right here, that part Regulus didn’t understand. 

That was the first time he remembered anger towards his brother, and for leaving him so easily when he found someone new and more interesting than he could ever be. 

After that it was never the same, even if every summer when Sirius came back they would go and find a new cave. From there, their orbits never seemed to collide like they used to. 

For they were two stars orbiting each other for eternity, that part was certain. Yet never again would they be close enough to reach.

When Regulus started school, he realized just how easily Sirius left him behind, for his new friends, and it hurt Regulus to see it. It hurt him to see how Sirius could be when he didn’t need to be the prector for once, and instead was the protected. But looking back now, Regulus couldn’t truly blame him for wanting that at all. He never realized how much Sirius needed to be protected, and Regulus wishes he could have been that provider, but he wasn’t. 

At the time all he wished was to show that he didn’t need Sirius to protect him at all, going as far as joining the side that they both fought against for so long. And that was the last time he truly saw the love his brother had for him in his eyes, for he knew that the moment Regulus got that snake on his arm, was the moment he was truly dead to Sirius forever. 

And from then he knew that the only thing he could do was prove them wrong. All of them.

The only thing he wished for was for Sirius to know what he did in the end. That he did the right thing. 

And so as he was dragged deeper and deeper down into its depths, the only thing Regulus thought about was how

he used to love caves.

[Inspired by the song Caves by Gregory Alan Isakov, and just a touch of Bridge to Terabithia -- You can find me on tiktok @_mythical_tea_ and @holocronhorcrux as well as on ao3 with the same user as on here. Okay BYE.]

[chronicpessimist09]

As someone who loves regulus black but left that abusive home even though my siblings didn’t it hurts. Am I even allowed to be sad? I don’t know if I’m allowed to be a bit heartbroken that he didn’t make me a hat, or that my sisters got expensive thoughtful presents and I got two of the same thing from both parents that put together cost half of what they got from him and a quarter of what they got from our mother. I don’t know if it’s allowed to hurt so much that he never tried to message. I don’t know if it’s allowed to hurt me that he doesn’t give a single fuck but it does. It hurts me so much. And all the time. I know it’s my choice I get that. I really do. I swear. But it hurts so much. And I don’t even know what I want. I don’t want to speak to him but I want him to care he can’t. Does that make me a shitty person? I genuinely don’t understand why he chose to have me. Fully intentionally. At 29 years old. He couldn’t care less about me and that hurts. I knew he didn’t as well. I knew he didn’t care. I knew he was abusing me. And it still hurts so much. And it never stops. I don’t think it ever will. And I can’t tell if I’m being an ungrateful little brat for being upset with my gifts but I’m so fucking sad. I got an Alexa one old, one new. My sister got dms and my other one got an iPad. I got both I asked for. I had the worst Christmas of my life and nobody cares. I wanted to die. Not even just intrusive thoughts, I genuinely didn’t want to live. Because living hurts so fucking much. It hurts when he speaks to me and it hurts when he doesn’t. It’s been a year and I can still remember the marks on my skin. My stomach and hips had his fingers pressed into so hard it bruised. Nobody knows that part. Nobody cared when I got so scared of saying I was full I was gagging nearly throwing up. Nobody cared I was so scared of having to eat there I lost blood circulation in my feet. She tried to make me go back for Christmas. Said she felt bad. I know she doesn’t understand half the shit he did but surely me sobbing having a panic attack because I didn’t want to go at 6 fucking years old would be a sign. But no. It almost feels like rape. It wasn’t. He never did cross that line. He played on it absolutely. But never crossed it. I don’t know what parts I’m making worse in my head. I can’t remember some. It’s like my brain know I’m not strong enough to remember it. It’s just blank. I can’t remember what he did or didn’t do and I can’t tell if that’s better. It wasn’t never rape or sexual. I don’t even know if it was assault. It feels the same trying to describe it. Nobody believes me. Nobody understands what it was like. More people are on his side than mine. My own mother feels sorry for him. She’s on his side. She’s so supportive until it’s her child. Until she actually has to deal with it. Then he’s fine because his kid stop talking to him. Phone works both ways right? He told me that. I was 7. Didn’t even have a phone yet. The irony is not lost. I didn’t block his instagram. He didn’t try every social media he has me on. Didn’t care enough. His daughter wasn’t important enough to check more that two apps. I ran into him once. He tried to apologise. Wasn’t really an apology though. In his exact words: “I’m sorry your not responsible enough to deal with it”. That was enough for my mother apparently. She’s been trying to get me to speak to him for ages. I hope I never do. I don’t understand why she doesn’t believe me. It’s been a year and it’s still hurts like it did when I left. Blocked him on everything and left. It’s still a fresh wound that people constantly pour salt into. It’s been a year and I don’t think it’ll ever stop hurting. So no. Sirius was not wrong for leaving that house. Regulus was not wrong for staying. Neither of them did the right thing but regulus couldn’t leave and Sirius couldn’t stay. And that’s something I hope you’ll never understand. (Sorry for that rant just feel like shit)

[pxint-it-blxck]

Paint It Black

Regulus Arcturus Black Age & Birthday: 20, October 17th Gender & Pronouns: Male - He/Him/His Sexuality: Homosexual Occupation: Currently Unoccupied Blood status: Pureblood Previous house: Slytherin Previous Affiliation: Previously Death Eater, Previously The Order Face claim: Timothee Chalamet Contriving, Inhospitable, Caustic, Sardonic, Capricious Intelligent, Cunning, Resilient, Audacious, Candid.

TW: Child Abuse, Death, Drowning

CHARACTER SUMMARY:

When Regulus was a child, Sirius was his hero. His big brother was just about the best person that Regulus could think of spending time with. With a mother who would rather lash out in anger than admit one of her sons was worth an ounce of affection and a father would drink too deeply to care what happened to either of them, Siruis was by far the most important person to Regulus. He would wake up and seek Sirius out. He would seek Sirius out in moments of joy, fear, and sadness. 

Through the neglect and abuse, they always had one other. The nights they spent huddled on one of their beds, wounds cleaned by one another, heads ducked under a blanket and secret dreams shared between them were too many to count. 

While growing up in the black home was closer to survival than a childhood, it did teach Regulus some very important lessons. His teenage years, taught him some very harsh truths. 

He never meant to start competing with Sirius. He never wanted to be pitted against his best friend, his only ally and older brother. One night, when Regulus was six, he could still recall this, he begged his mother to stop comparing them. She shut him up by casting crucio on him. A quick message to never question what she did. 

In the end, Regulus just caught on faster than Sirius did. He learned how to play the good son. How to do what was expected before he was asked. How to take punishment and repeat rederic. He was good at playing the part too. So good at bowing his head. Letting his mother fuss about his hair getting too long. Letting his father ‘teach’ him to take pain like a man should.

He tried to tell Sirius how to succeed with their parents. How to make it easier on himself but at the end of the day, Sirius left. 

The Summer that Sirius didn’t come home from Hogwarts was by far the worst of Regulus' life, minus the last three years. 

He had a decision to make. Run away like Sirius and have his parents pursue them both to the ends of the earth or stay. Continue to take their cruelty but be their perfect boy. Stay and protect Sirius from ever having to deal with them ever again. Regulus stayed. 

Regulus hates, deeply, how much he still loves and cares for his brother. 

So the years went on,` Hogwarts provided a brief respite from his parent's hovering eye and controlling grip. He made few friends but those he gave the title to were held so tightly it must have been a struggle for some of them to breathe. Despite this, Regulus was fickle with his friends. One slight against him, one thought that they may leave him and he would pull away. His trust was breakable. His deepest truth was that those who love you, leave. 

At fourteen, both Dumbledor and Voldemort began to play leading roles in Regulus’s life. His parents were thrilled when he got his dark mark and very quickly began to engrain himself into the Death Eater cause. They knew nothing of Dumbledor’s plans for Regulus. 

Regulus was a bright student, top of his grade in nearly everything. Dumbledor knew well that this would allow Regulus to climb the ranks of Voldemort's followers and his cold, calculating nature, would allow him to gain Tom's trust. 

He did just that. 

By seventeen, Regulus had found out not only the location of the first horcux but how to destroy it. He went after the horcux and nearly died retrieving it. He was pulled into the lake by inferi and what Dumbledor saved was not the same regulus. 

Because of the quick way the inferi grabbed Regulus and pulled him under the water, his right ear drum burst. Magic could not undo the damage and he is def in that ear. 

He drowned and did die but Dumbledor arrived in time to bring him back. He was dead for three minutes. At that time, Regulus had some minor brain damage that affected his right arm. When he was recovering in the hospital after all this, his arm would shake violently when lifted or used to hold anything. These days it is a lighter tremble. He still struggles to lift his arm over his head or hold anything more than ten pounds in weight. 

Regulus has been dead for the last year. At least to the public. He has been recovering in secret with Dumbledor. The only other person who knows he’s alive is Severus Snape. The two very much needed his help to get Regulus back on his feet medically speaking. 

Coming out of hiding, Regulus is unsure of what greats him in the land of leaving.

[endlessly-cursed]

HL- Ernest di Napoli

"ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴏᴡɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇꜱ ᴜꜱ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ"

Name: Ernest Regulus Maurice di Napoli 

Nicknames: Ernie, Reg, Mr. di Napoli 

Birthdate: 10th of November, 1881 

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio 

Personality Type (MBTI): tbd

Blood Status: Pureblood 

Nationality: British, Italian 

Physical Appearance

Hair: Black 

Eyes: Blue 

Height: 1.94m 

Weight: 83kg 

Body Type: Strong, well-built 

Skin Tone: Caucasian 

Distinguishing Marks (scars, birthmarks, etc.): One cut four inches from his heart, a mark on his knee by the Cruciatus Curse, a small white scar on his jawline and a circle on his stomach all by the duel against his own father 

Background

Ernest di Napoli was born at 09:34p.m on the di Napoli manor, Naples, under a pureblood family who made their immense fortune by a holding business and grew up with the typical ideas of pureblood supremacy and love for the dark arts, though Ernest was not a fan of them himself and didn’t believe anything of it, thinking it ghastly. He was bred to find the perfect wife and be his father’s own image. When he came to Hogwarts, however, things changed forever... 

Hometown

Di Napoli Manor was an immense house with many servants, though it was cold and there was no place for love or any form or tenderness, for they thought it a weakness. He had a privilged pre-Hogwarts education and grew up with everything handed on a silver plate, if not golden. Before Hogwarts, he had lived clueless of the struggles on the outside community. 

Family

Mother: Augusta di Napoli neé Fairchild 

From a minor pureblood family, Augusta was brought up as an obedient and submissive wife, and soon after she had her first period, she was betrothed with the firstborn of the prolific family of the Di Napolis, and married several months after graduating Hogwarts. She was a Slytherin and a very brilliant, smart, witty and interesting on her own right. When her eldest son Ernest won her loathing husband in the duel, she quickly filled up for divorce and repudiated him. She lived the rest of her life doting on her grandchildren and finding a way to repay her daughter-in-law Abigail for freeing the family from further terror. 

Father: Trystan Di Napoli 

Grown up in the same ambit as his sons, he had a loveless childhood, where duty was before anything else, including sometimes family. He was a fellow Slytherin and while his hatred for muggles wasn’t enormous, he clearly disliked them and was set on finding a suitable wife. At sixteen, he was promised to Augusta Fairchild, and the two of them got on well, eventually having two sons: Ernest and Bartholomew. However, his son defied him at twenty-one by marrying fellow half-blood Abigail Bennett, a bride he clearly disapproved, and the two of them had an intense duel where Trystan came out beaten and humiliated by his son. He fled in shame to America where he never married nor had any other children, growing paranoid that they’d turn on him too, and died at the age of 64 of influenza, alone and with no one to bury him or mourn him. 

Brother: Bartholomew Di Napoli 

The youngest child, he was often at his brother’s shadow, but never resented him for it, for he saw the future for him and was relieved that he’d be overlooked. Soon, when his younger brother rebelled against their father, he quickly took his side, becoming his second in the duel. He didn’t marry till he was settled and spent many nights helping his brother with the ledgers and taking care of his aging mother. 

Hogwarts

House: Slytherin 

Best Class: Potions 

Worst Class: Defence Against the Dark Arts 

Boggart: His father 

Riddikulus: His father burps every time he speaks, loudly and rather rudely 

Patronus: a weasel 

Patronus Memory: Hearing Abbi’s laugh for the first time 

Mirror of Erised: Himself with Abbi, being happy and free 

Amortentia (what he smells like): oak tree, expensive cologne, woodsmoke, cuban cigars, earl grey tea and fresh pine 

Amortentia (what he smells): geranium, jasmine, hint of lemon 

Career

11-18: Hogwarts Student 

19-21: Heir to the Di Napoli fortune 

22-52: Businessman 

53-64: Stay-at-home father 

65+: Retiree 

Personality & Attitude

Priorities: Abbi’s safety, his freedom 

Strengths: Cunning, smart, loyal, loving and will fight for whom he loves 

Weaknesses: Clueless, can be a bit intimidating 

Stressed: Around his father 

Calm/Comforted: With his mother and Abbi 

Favorites

Colors: Green, black, dark blue and golden 

Weather: Rainy 

Hobbies: Reading, oratory and Abraxan riding 

Fashion: His fashion is neat and proper, showing off his status and wealth. 

Relationships

Significant Other/Love Interest: Abigail Jane Bennett ( @beloved-bucky​ ) 

Ernest had always been aware of Miss Bennett’s presence, however, he did not realise his feelings for her until fifth year, when he blurted out if she’d like to go on a date with him, and by the third date, he was besotted. His father they were amusing one another, parading his son around, looking for a suitable wife from him and even taking him to brothels, much to his chagrin and her own jealousy. However, his feelings remained unchanged and stronger than ever. By the time he was twenty he was adamant that Abbi was the one for him and proposed to her. His father was enraged and the two of them quarreled for months until, weeks after his twenty-first birthday, Ernest challenged his father to a duel, for he knew that violence was the only way they could communicate. After a tiresome and exhausting duel, Ernest turned out victor and came to his home shared with Abbi, heavily wounded and relying his weight on his brother. Weeks later, he recovered swiftly, and finally began his life with his bride. 

Friends: tba 

Rivals: tba 

Trivia

He is a rather skilled dueller, taught by champions 

He has a love for poetry, and wrote some poems to Abbi 

His first time was in a brothel by order of his father in order to know how to please his future wife in the wedding night and produce an heir 

He can be quite proud and stubborn, though Abbi gives him a run for his money 

He’s quite the athlete 

After marrying Abbi, he takes her to his birthplace 

Though in the 20s they flee once Mussolini takes over 

His family used to be Italian earls but with the fall of the monarchy, he could no longer claim said power, though he still had the estate and seat at the Parliament 

[believinghurts]

Their Daughter

Authors Note: I swear I posted this before, but I can’t find it anywhere on my account so I’m thinking Tumblr deleted it. I did add a little onto the end if this part so if you have read I would advise to read it again. Please don’t copy to other sites.

Warnings: yelling, crying, uhhhhh

The week and a half at Malfoy Manor passed way too fast for Ali’s liking. In all honesty, she wasn’t looking forward to spending the rest of her summer with the Weasley bunch and Potter. School started in three weeks as it was and she knew that she would be seeing plenty of them there, and spending even more time with them made her want to vomit. She felt like she was able to breathe when she was with the Malfoys. She missed her Uncles but spending so much time with Narcissa and her friends helped take her mind off of everything.

After their first trip to Diagon Alley, they want another time just Narcissa and Ali to spend some quality time together and that’s how Ali was ending up with a trunk so full she and Draco had to sit on it to close it, her friends were around the Manor a lot more. Pansy, Theo, and Blaise had stayed the night after their families had dinner together meaning that they all slept in the living room after talking late into the night. Ali was woken up by her aunt shaking her awake, telling her that if she wanted Blaise to stay breathing she needed to move. Somehow that night the two had ended up right beside each other with Ali’s head on Blaise's right arm while his left was under his head. This was something that Draco now used to blackmail Ali into doing things he didn’t want to do since he knew his father would murder any boy that so much looked at Ali.

Ali sighed before calling the house-elf to take her trunk downstairs. Doing a quick once over of her royal blue bedroom she grabbed her wand before making her way down the stairs. She left to go back home today and as excited as she was to see Regulus and Remus, the knot forming in her stomach at seeing Sirius made her ill. Her confidence had grown some after talking with Narcissa about what was going on at home. Cissa assured her that Sirius was just being Sirius and not seeing the hurt he was inflicting. Ali wanted to believe her aunt's words that he would come around more when he knew that the Malfoys were not a threat. She had made sure Ali knew that she was just as good if not better than the Potter boy because she didn’t judge anyone no matter their house. Draco was livid when he found out what was happening between Sirius and Ali, blaming it all on Potter for being the snake that he feared Draco was so much. Draco had made her swear that if Harry or anyone said anything to make her upset that she would write Draco right away and he would be there in a heartbeat.

“I knew that dress would look stunning on you,” Narcissa stood as Ali entered the living room. Ali smiled at her aunt as she kissed her on the cheek. She did a little spin when Narcissa motioned her to do so causing the dark blue dress to flare out at the bottom right above her knees. Cissa had insisted she bought it even if it wasn’t something Ali would have normally worn. She had paired it with her favorite white combat boots and black tights making the little white spots on the sleeves stand out even more. Narcissa hugged Ali once more, and Ali knew she didn’t want to send her back to Grimmauld Place, but school started soon and Ali wanted to spend some more time with Regulus and get her stuff ready. “We are going to miss you so don’t forget to write, and we will see you at the train station.”

Ali nodded, hugging her aunt close before moving onto Lucius who kissed her cheek wishing her good luck at home and to write if she needed anything. Draco was last, he tried to act indifferent, but Ali knew he didn’t want her to leave. She stuck her hand out causing him to roll his eyes before pulling her into a hug. Draco had grown quite a bit the last couple of years making Ali eye level with his shoulder. “Write to me the minute something goes wrong, and I’ll be there to save you. Potter be damned.”

Ali giggled, “Of course, Dray. Behave for mother, and make sure if you see our friends that you tell them I’ll see them soon.”

Ali grabbed her trunk while Lucius called for Winks the house-elf to come apparate Ali back home. She gave her extended family one last smile before grabbing Winks's hand. They landed across the street of Grimmauld Place, Ali gave Winks a bar of chocolate out of her pocket before bidding goodbye. She walked in the door hearing noise coming from the living room and dining area. It was just after lunch so she assumed everyone was still hanging out there. She debated going straight to her room first but decided not to. She pulled her trunk behind her till she reached the dining room. There everyone was, immediately Ali wished she was back at the Manor where it was peaceful and she wasn’t getting stared at like she was right now. She pulled down the sleeves on her dress a little more not noticing how big of a mistake that was.

She saw Regulus standing in the corner, he smiled at her. Regulus was happy that Ali got to stay away for a little bit. He was able to give Sirius a piece of his mind, which happened often, without Ali overhearing. Screaming matches could be heard coming from the study more often than not after someone made rude comments about Ali or her friends. Sirius still had acted like Ali was staying with the Dark Lord himself instead of family and it had pushed Regulus to the edge more than once. Regulus knew that Remus was on the same page as him, he was over the comments from Sirius. Regulus had noticed that Harry didn’t say anything bad about her or Slytherins if Remus was present. He had taken a liking to the oldest two Weasleys and Fleur, they were nice to Ali and Fleur often defended her by saying kind things. Regulus knew that Fleur stuck out in the Weasley family, he had seen the looks some of the younger ones would give her. He felt bad for her and often tried to make sure she felt comfortable, much like he knew she did for Ali.

Ali hugged her uncle tight, she had missed the safety feeling that came from burying herself in his chest. Remus was quick to join the two, squeezing Ali to him before kissing her head. Ali quickly tucked herself back into Regulus' side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, “How was it? Did you have fun?”

Ali smiled at him and Remus, “I did. Pansy, Blaise, and Theo stayed over after we had dinner with their families. Cissa took me shopping, twice mind you. Draco almost made the house explode with some potion he was trying to make to dye Theos hair. It was supposed to change with his mood, but instead, it ended up all over the ceiling. Aunt Cissa didn’t stop yelling at him for an hour,” She laughed at the memory of Draco’s face while his mother yelled that he had ruined her ceiling. “Um, what else?” She knew Regulus wanted to know exactly what she did. He was always interested in her life often making her tell stories from school in detail. She was never allowed to leave with just a generic ‘fine’ that some teenagers got away with. “Oh Lucius took us to Hogsmede, claiming that it was to get Cissa some sugar quills, but the number of chocolate frogs said differently. Oh, Cissa told me to tell you that she ordered me new school robes and that you needed to pick them up or she could bring them to the station.”

“You didn’t tell me you needed robes?” Regulus raised his eyebrow, surely she would have told him if she needed something like that.

“Oh I don’t, but Draco did since he grew again and Cissa said I should just get some so I have extras. I-”

“Why don’t you just brag some more,” an icy voice cut her off. Ali looked to see Sirius standing behind Harry with his hands on his shoulders. She hadn’t noticed him when she came in so she was wondering what all he had heard. She wasn’t bragging about anything. She knew the Weasley’s had financial problems, but this was her home. She was allowed to talk about things she did with her Aunts even if it was out spending an obscene amount of money.

“I-I wasn’t bragging,” Ali stuttered, “I just was telling Uncle Regulus what I-I had done.”

“Oh yeah right. You had fun, right? That’s good,” Sirius walked around the table towards Ali who naturally stepped closer to Regulus. Her uncle tensed when he saw that Ali was scared of his brother. “So why are you wearing long sleeves? It’s like 80 degrees out. You must be warm in them.”

“Sirius,” Remus’s tone was a warning. He knew what Sirius was thinking, but he had hope that Sirius knew not to do it.

Sirius ignored Remus continuing to walk towards his brother and daughter. “You decided that you wanted to match Regulus too? Spend some time with the Dark Lord the past couple of weeks?”

“Sirius you stop this instant she didn’t do anything,” Molly spoke up for the girl while pushing the other children out of the room. She tried to get Harry to leave but gave up after he insisted he stayed where he was.

“No, Molly, cause you to see Regulus was her age when he got the mark. And I’m starting to wonder if Ali doesn't have it as well. Spies the both of them. Playing the part of perfect uncle and niece. Show me your arm, Alianova.”

Ali stayed where she was, not moving an inch. She felt her breath pick up as Sirius walked closer. “Ali, I said show me your arm.” She shook her head no. She didn’t have anything to hide, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of listening to him. He hadn’t earned her trust or respect at this point. Sirius reached out and grabbed Ali’s arm. That was when all Hell broke out.

Sirius had enough time to push her sleeve up before he was shoved back by Regulus. Ali cried out when Sirius’s nails dug into her skin hard enough to bleed. Remus grabbed Sirius, pulling him back while he stared in shock at Ali who had tears streaming down her cheek staring at him in disbelief.

Regulus lunged at Sirius only to be held back by Bill Weasley, “Stop. Stop, Regulus. Ali needs you. Go.” He lightly pushed Regulus back towards Ali. Regulus felt this heart crack in his chest when he saw that Ali sitting on the floor holding her arm to her chest. Her tears dripping down her chin as she watched Remus pace in front of Sirius who was still looking at her.

Regulus knelt beside Ali gently pulling her arm to him revealing the four scratch marks on the pale flesh. Each had drops of blood running down the sides. Regulus grabbed the tea towel off the counter-pressing it to the wound. Ali leaned into his shoulder letting her tears catch on the fabric of his shirt. She was trembling from the shock that someone who was supposed to love her could hurt her like this. She had always known of the Black Temper; it was famous really. But even when she saw her grandmother and Regulus angry, they had never hurt her. Sirius was her father; it was his job to protect her was it not? She understood that he never wanted her, she was a mistake. Ali had come to terms when that a long time ago, but for him to actively hurt her shook her to her core. Ali was focused on Regulus, but from the corner of her eye, she could see Remus shaking with rage at Sirius. Regulus cupped her cheeks in his hands wiping away her falling tears. “Are you okay?”

She numbly nodded at her uncle. “Ali, I am so sorry-”

“NO,” The venom in Ali’s voice shocked those that were in the room as she stood with Regulus’s help. “No. You don’t get to apologize. You knew what you were doing and you didn’t care! You never have. And never will. I get it okay?” Ali walked towards Sirius so she was a couple of feet in front of him, but near the stairs to make her exit if she couldn't handle it anymore. “I know that I wasn’t planned or wanted. I know that I’m not Harry Bloody Potter, but you know what I am? I’m YOUR daughter. That doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t care that it's your job to raise me and protect me and love me. You never did it. I have no memories of you. Not one. My uncles told me how good of a parent you were when I was little, but I don’t believe that anymore. Hell, if someone told me you put me in a room and left me there it would be more believable.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose letting out a sigh. She never stood up to people much, but she was sick and tired of Sirius thinking he could act like this towards her. “I used to look up to you. I never listened to the bad things people said because I thought you were good. I wanted to make you proud of me even if I never got to meet you. Then you got out. But instead of coming for your flesh and blood, you came for him,” She flung her arm in Harry’s general direction. “You were never there for me. That’s fine too. Wanna know why? Because I have people who are always there for me. People who love me unconditionally, and make me see that I am enough. Do you know who those people are? A big chunk of them is the Malfoys. I had a lot of fun staying with them, but one of my favorite parts was when Lucius told me that even if you didn’t see how great of a daughter I was that he and Regulus did. The Lucius Malfoy made ME feel better because you treat me like rubbish.”

Ali walked closer to Sirius. The only noise in the room was coming from her, and if she stopped talking a pin dropping could be heard. Regulus was stunned by her outburst but knew deep down that it was coming. Sirius had pushed her too far, and once Ali was done it was going to take a lot more than Bill Weasley to hold him back. “I have never called anyone else ‘Dad’, but now I regret it. Regulus is more of my father than you could ever be. I hope you have fun with your son.” She spat looking Sirius in the eye before turning on her heel fleeing up the stairs. Tears fell again as she shut and locked her door behind her, sliding down the other side of it. Even if what she said was true it didn’t mean that it hurt any less knowing that Sirius would never choose her.

Downstairs Regulus was fuming. He was shocked that Ali called him ‘dad’ even if he had wanted that for as long as he could remember. But the other part of him wanted to break Sirius in half. He felt the rage coming back from when he was a child. He felt the urge to kill but knew that he wouldn’t. He couldn’t think of himself, he had too much at stake. He hadn’t been able to think of himself for the last fifteen years. Sirius had done a lot of messed up things in his life, but this took the cake. Regulus forgave him a long time ago for him leaving, and for the bullying that he did to Regulus through school, but this was unforgivable. Ali was a child who didn’t understand why she wasn’t good enough or why her father was hell-bent on her being on the side with the Dark Lord when she was the furthest away from him.

Regulus stood brushing off his hands on his pants before stalking towards Sirius how a predator stalks its prey. He saw Bill and Arthur move forward a few inches more than likely ready to intervene if needed. Remus’s eyes had a little more green in them than normal probably due to the rage he was feeling and the fact that the full moon was less than a week away. It was honestly shocking that Remus hadn’t thrown Sirius into the wall yet. Regulus stopped when he was toe to toe with his brother.

“How dare you do what you just did to her! She is a child, Sirius. She is supposed to be your child,” Regulus’s voice was eerily calm when he spoke making the hairs on Remus’s neck stand from the amount of venom present. “Frankly I have no idea how she is half you. All she wanted to do was get away from all the stress that has come from living here the past couple of months. She has been a shell of herself since you came back really, but when she came through those doors I saw her coming back to herself. That couldn’t happen though, could it? Had to accuse her of having the Dark Mark, which she didn’t, but when she refused to show you because she doesn’t owe you anything you hurt her. You made her bleed. She is your daughter and you made her bleed. Do us all a favor and leave her alone. I opened this home to you and the Order because it was the right thing to do. Ali agreed that she wanted to help, but this can’t keep happening. I can’t put her at risk anymore. So leave her alone and if she sheds another tear because of you then you will leave.”

Sirius stood stunned. His younger brother hadn’t stood up for himself even when they were children. That was the most he had heard Regulus talk in his life. He felt bad that he had hurt Ali, he never meant to, but he has to protect Harry and the Order. He doesn’t trust the Malfoys and Ali had been there. How was he to know that she didn’t have the Mark? All she had to do was show her arm. Simple really. He glanced around the room as Regulus walked away not waiting for his response. Sirius knew that Regulus meant what he had said. Molly had started cleaning up the kitchen with a sad look in her eyes, while Arthur and Bill had left the room. Remus met his eyes but shook his head at him disappointed. “Come on, Harry. I need a walk.”

------------------

Ali wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting on the floor of her room. It was quiet downstairs which was concerning, but she didn’t think much of it. Hopefully Regulus hadn’t killed Sirius, but if he did she wouldn’t blame him. She had cried herself numb. She didn’t have any tears left, her throat was scratchy from the sobs. Part of her wanted to go back to Malfoy Manor where she was safe and welcomed, but the other part of her wanted to find her uncle and have him read to her like he did when she was a child.

A knock at her door pulled her from her musings. “Al? Open the door darling. It’s just me.” Regulus’s voice came from the other side.

Very slowly Ali stood up leaning onto the table by the door for support. She turned the lock and instantly Regulus opened the door. He kissed her forehead before leading her to her bed. Ali had yet to change out of her dress, but she didn’t really care. Regulus snagged the blanket off the foot of her bed before gently pushing her down into it and covering them both with the blue and silver blanket. Ali positioned herself with her head on Regulus' shoulder. Exhaustion weighing down heavy on her. Even though it was early she could feel her eyes droop as he carded a hand through her hair. “Thank you, dad. For loving me.”

Regulus’s heart swelled and broke with those words, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before her soft snores filled the room.

———————-

Regulus wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he stroked his niece's hair. He was mad at his brother for basically throwing away the only good thing that had ever come from the Black family. Sirius was too blinded by the past to see what was right in front of him. As children, Sirius often told Regulus that he was their family's favorite and that it bothered him, but if he knew what it was like to be less loved then how can he love Harry more than Ali? He understood that Harry was Sirius's Godson, but couldn’t he love Ali and Harry equally. If Sirius made the effort maybe Ali and the other children could even be friends. His heart ached from the emotional battle that Ali was going through right now. Even if Sirius didn’t see it, he and Remus did. Ali’s light was dimmer than before and just when she was lighting up again Sirius snuffed it out.

Carefully sliding out from under Ali and placing a pillow under her head Regulus left the room. He shut the door behind him casting a locking spell so she wouldn’t be bothered. He needed to speak with Remus first before doing anything. They needed to decide what to do about Ali. As much as Regulus wanted to spend time with her before she went back to school he didn’t want her to be this upset anymore. He walked into the study to find Remus and Nymphadora sitting near the fireplace.

“How is she?” Nymphadora blurted the question as soon as she saw her cousin. Remus had owled her after Ali had gone to her room. The older sister in her wanted to go up to Sirius and give him a piece of her mind, but she knew that it wouldn’t do any good.

“She’s asleep for now. All the fighting has exhausted her. I honestly don’t know what to do. I want her here this is her home, but if Sirius doesn’t stop acting like the brut that he is it is going to hurt her more. Speaking of Sirius, where is he? It’s quiet.” Regulus flopped down on the chair across from Remus and Nymphadora raking a hand through his hair. His worry for Ali was causing him a headache. On one hand, he wanted to send Ali to stay at the Malfoy Manor for the remainder of summer, but on the other, he wanted to hold her close and have her stay in her home where she belonged.

“Sirius left with Harry after you went upstairs. He hasn’t been home since. The Weasleys stepped out to Diagonal Ally to get the kids stuff for school.” Remus replied. He was secretly thankful that the house was mainly empty. This way at least Ali could come down if she felt like it without the chance of someone bothering her. Remus was having the same thoughts as Regulus about keeping Ali at home virus's sending her to the Manor. HE just wanted his niece happy. The hope that he had of Airius and Ali having the father/daughter relationship was gone. If only Remus could get Sirius to open his eyes to the pain he was causing to the girl, but Sirius was nothing if not stubborn.

“I think I am going to write Cissa and see if she can keep Ali for the rest of summer. If that’s what it takes for her to be happy no healthy then so be it. We can see her off at the -“

“I don’t want to leave,” Ali’s voice interrupted. “I want to stay here with you. Please don’t make me leave. I can handle it, I promise.”

Ali knew that she and regulus were going to have to talks about the fact that she called him dad, but that was a private conversation. Right now she needed to convince the adults in the room that she didn’t need to leave. She could take Sirius. Yes the words that he had said hurt her and the actions he did tonight furthered that hurt in her heart, but she was done. She didn’t owe him anything, and it was clear she knew that he didn’t want to be her father. She had meant what she said to regulus. He was her father in all the ways that counted. He loved her unconditionally, was always there for her, and protected her.

She went and sat on the couch in between Nymphadora and Remus who wrapped an arm around her pulling her close to his chest. “It might be best if you went and stayed for the rest of the summer at the Manor, Al. This isn’t good for you mentally. We all can see how drained you are.”

“No, this is my home. I can handle it. I have you all plus the older Weasleys and Fleur. You all protect me and if I need to get away for a little bit I’ll owl Blaise or Draco to go to Diagonal Ally or something. I want to spend time with you. Times are hard right now and you never know when you are going to lose someone and I would like to have as much time with each of you just in case.”

Regulus leaned forward taking Ali’s hand in his, “nothing, and I mean nothing is going to happen to us. I love you more than you could ever imagine and if you want to stay here you can.” Ali smiles brightly at that before Regukus cut her off, “but you have to tell me, Remus, or Severus, if anything happens. And you have to come out of your room. I am not having you locking yourself away again. Got it?”

Ali pounced on Regulus hugging his neck tight. She was excited to spend some more time with her family. She had meant what she said about never knowing when something was going to happen. Wizards had been disappearing all over London and she was genuinely scared something was going to happen to her loved ones. She was going to make it a point to take plenty of photos and make enough memories to last a lifetime the next couple of weeks.

Regulus held his niece tight, fighting back the tears when she whispered, “Thanks, Dad,” into his ear. He had been called a lot of things in his life, but this was one title he was going to wear proudly.

Remus’s voice interrupted the moment, “wait for a second, why are you going to owl Blaise? We have an agreement young lady no boys till your thirty!”

Ali’s giggle was music to those in the room with her, and for the first time that summer they all saw Ali smile at home the brightest she had since everyone arrived.

[thesiriusmoon]

THERE’S SO MUCH REGULUS SLANDER ON MY TIKTOK FYP CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY ⁉️

Like I love Regulus, and there’s literally nothing canon about him other than he believed what his parents told him about Sirius and that he was a death eater. BUT, I’m not excusing death eaters here- but seeing how Sirius was ab*sed... Regulus was his brother... and would have faced the same things. Just because he was a Slytherin, it doesn’t mean he was exempt from his parents harming him. Sirius says in the books that Regulus was “soft” meaning it would be easy for him to submit to his parents if it meant he wouldn’t be harmed, it was his survival tactic. Then when Sirius left home, he was all alone and probably felt like he had to do something to keep himself alive, because he didn’t have somewhere to go like Sirius did. I believe that Regulus got the mark just to show his parents they could *trust* him, because at the age of 18 he literally gave up his life so Voldemort could be defeated later on. He was a child, and vulnerable. His intentions, seeing as he was 18 and very young, were clear from the start. He was ambitious (why he’s in Slytherin) and carried out his plan until the end. He must have felt so let down seeing as no one around him wanted him, but he continued to do the right thing. I seriously don’t see the downsides to Regulus. Sirius only saw him at home, so of course he wouldn’t know the *whole* story as to why Regulus had the mark. Regulus getting the mark was a form of ab*se from his family. It wasn’t just because of Kreacher and it’s funny when people say that because he didn’t die for his elf or *turn* because of him. Right from the start he wanted Voldemort dead just as much as Sirius did because he was the root of their parents ab*se on him and his brother. Regulus fought even when he had no one by his side. He died because of his morals which were in favour of defeating Voldemort because he was NOT a blood supremacist unlike Snape and Draco who both actively were horrible people. Anyways, if you read this please give me some feedback because I’d love to read them.

P.S People may say “oh like Draco.” No. Not like Draco. Draco actively CHOSE to be a blood supremacist and obviously enjoyed it seeing how he treated Hermoine. Draco was also loved and well looked after by his parents.

[aidanchaser]

Waterloo Station

Several folks said, “I would love to see more of Regulus and Sirius shenanigans!” after Chapter 18. Well, lo and behold, I actually have a deleted bit of Chapter 18 showcasing just that. The second draft was from Sirius’ perspective, but since Sirius lent his voice to In Memoriam, and we’re about to hit a short run of non-Harry chapters, I brought the chapter back to Harry in the third draft. (the first draft was an entirely different Harry chapter about breaking James out of prison, but that got pushed back in favor of some character development; we’ll get back to it, I promise.)

So here’s a short bit, taken out of my scraps. It’s headed with “MY DARLING” because it is one of several darlings I have killed while writing Deathly Hallows, but it’s the only one to earn the all-caps title. Thanks to the magic of fanfic, I can still share this darling with you. (the alternate title for this chapter should be: Sirius Accidentally Outs Himself as a Furry)

Padfoot hated the city. It was loud and there were so many people, each with their own scents and emotions. He supposed he should count himself lucky Harry had bled so much, or the trail would have been harder to follow.

He recognized the wizards on the platform easily. Their attire of slacks combined with hoodies or rain slickers paired with thick rubber work boots marked them easily as incompetently dressed Ministry employees. Sirius supposed they were keeping an eye open for someone stupid enough to come to the platform in search of Harry, someone just like him.

The platform had been scrubbed clean, but Padfoot could still detect Harry’s scent through the bleach. He didn’t board the train that pulled into the station, not yet. He waited, sniffing the entrance of the car carefully. He didn’t smell Harry or bleach. So he sat back and waited. A few Muggles scratched his ears as they passed or before boarding the train. Sirius let them without protest. 

He had learned that Muggles, by and large, enjoyed dogs as long as those dogs were gentle, still, and quiet. And if he was anything else — too loud, too quick, or too threatening — they were eager to chase him out or worse, catch him. It was a lesson he had learned early in his life, long before he had become Padfoot; it was just an easier lesson to follow when he was Padfoot. Something about a thick coat of fur, the eyes and ears of a predator, and four paws to run with made him far more comfortable and settled in his own skin than being a young boy in the middle of a war ever had. 

Another train pulled in, and this one, too, didn’t smell of Harry, but the third one did. He followed the Muggles into the carriage, and noticed a small black shadow slip in after him. It hid under the seat, and Sirius pointedly ignored it. He took a post at the door and waited, ready to check each stop this train made until he found Harry.

Regulus had tried desperately to talk him out of this, but Sirius had ignored him. Between him, Lily, and Remus, Sirius was the only one who could track down Harry, and if he didn’t, Lily and Remus would. Lily was far more likely to be recognized on the platform than Padfoot was, making Sirius not only the safest choice, but the most efficient choice, given Padfoot’s hunting instincts.

The first stop didn’t have even a whiff of Harry, but the second one did, though it was no longer paired with bleach. Sirius could only surmise that Harry had healed any open wounds before exiting the train and he felt both relieved and proud. 

That relief vanished almost as soon as he stepped off of the train. This station was enormous. It wasn’t just another Underground station; it was the biggest train station in London. Crowds hurried past, chasing after trains. Others clustered around kiosks and maps. Sirius’ heart sank. Harry could have boarded a train to practically anywhere from here, even Paris. 

The small black shadow slunk out of the carriage behind him and slipped into a tiny space beneath a nearby bin. Padfoot put his wet nose to the ground and followed Harry’s faint scent to a ticket station. From there it was difficult to determine where to go next. He thought he had a faint trail of Harry’s blood but it was unusual, mixed with something else.

“Pardon me, sir,” a nearby Muggle said, “but you need to have your dog on a lead at all times —”

“Oh,” a man looked down at Padfoot. “He’s not my dog.”

Sirius decided to follow the scent of Harry’s blood. It led him out of the station and away from the Underground service workers. The last thing he needed was for a well-meaning Muggle to try to help him find his owner. The few times it had happened in the past, he had always had James to bail it out.

Sirius shook off the stab of grief that came with the thought. It was always easier to shake off grief as Padfoot, as if the same abilities that heightened his physical senses dulled the sharper edges of his hurt. Besides, he reminded himself, there was nothing he could do for James right now, not until they were able to find whatever Death Eater prison he was being held in — and they had to believe he was being held. What Sirius could do was find Harry.

Though it had been less than twenty-four hours since Harry had passed through here, London had a way of making people invisible, of burying passersby in the scent of automobile smog and endless eateries. Sirius had to work hard to discern the scent of Harry’s blood through it all, but he managed to follow the trail south for less than a mile until it disappeared into a tall, brown-brick residential building.

Padfoot sat down on the pavement and evaluated his options. It would not be hard to sniff out Harry, if he truly was in this building, but a large dog was likely to be chased out of a private building. As Sirius, it wouldn’t be hard to charm his way into the building, but it might be harder to find Harry.

Padfoot barked softly at the bushes. The black cat that had been tailing him crawled out. He knew Regulus had no interest in helping him, and had only come along as emergency backup in case of a duel, but Padfoot gestured his head towards the building anyway.

The small, black cat stared at Padfoot, then back up at the building. Reluctantly, he slipped up the stairs and into the building on the heels of an unsuspecting resident.

Padfoot sniffed the stone retaining wall. Plenty of people had passed through here, but he didn’t smell Harry, not exactly. He definitely smelled the blood trail he had been following, but that wasn’t the same thing as Harry’s scent. He wondered if it was Greyback who had come through here, but Sirius was fairly certain that he would recognize Greyback’s scent if he came across it.

He wondered, briefly, if Regulus had been right when he had said that Sirius was better off staying with Remus and Lily, rather than hunting down Harry. The full moon was just two days away, and he knew Remus was nervous. Brewing the Wolfsbane Potion had been impossible this week. They had been moving too frequently to get together the ingredients, and they still hadn’t figured out where Remus was going to transform. Lily would need to be somewhere safe but on hand in case of emergency, and they couldn’t be anywhere too open that might put others at risk. Tonks had, kindly, suggested hers and her mother’s home, but that had only sent Remus into another downward spiral. Remus was wary enough of transforming around people he loved when he had the Wolfsbane Potion to keep his mind. He was never going to allow himself to lose control with Tonks so close at hand.

Sirius tried to shake his worries off. Remus was tomorrow’s problem. Harry was today’s.

Regulus returned from his investigation surprisingly quickly. He hurried across the street and over a low wall, into some plants. When he stepped out as himself, Sirius reluctantly followed and also used the wall as cover to return to his human form.

“What did you find?” Sirius asked.

Regulus smoothed the front of his cloak. “Harry isn’t there.”

“I know.”

“Then why did we come here?”

Sirius swung his legs over the wall. “Because someone here has information about Harry. Did you follow the blood trail?”

“It’s going to be a dead end.”

“I’d prefer you didn’t use that word.”

“The trail is cold, Sirius. We have no way to know where Harry has gone.”

“Give me a flat number and I’ll go myself.”

Regulus hesitated, but Sirius knew he would give in. They were stubborn, the both of them, but Regulus had never built up the tolerance for conflict that Sirius had. Sirius could thrive in the center of chaos; he’d had to in order to survive. Regulus, however, invested too much effort in fighting chaos. It was always going to be a losing battle.

Regulus crossed the street, back to the building. He pointed his wand at the lock, but it didn’t budge.

Sirius looked over Regulus’ shoulder. “Oh, it’s one of those keypads? <i>Alohomora</i> is no good.” He dug his own wand out and aimed a hot white spark. It fizzed and sputtered and then the lock clicked.

Regulus pulled the door open. “Did you break it?”

Sirius shrugged. “They malfunction all the time. Keeps the Muggle maintenance men employed.”

Regulus led Sirius upstairs to the top floor and gestured at a door near the stairwell. “The trail leads here. But I didn’t see, hear, or smell anything to indicate that Harry might be here. I can’t imagine Harry would have stayed in London.”

“No, but if whoever lives here had Harry’s blood on them, they might be able to tell us something.”

“And if that person is a Death Eater?”

“Then I guess we’ll duel them.” Sirius knocked on the door.

“We aren’t even going to try to disguise ourselves?” Regulus hissed at him, but Sirius couldn’t answer, because the door opened.

The gentleman in the doorway wore a fine Muggle suit. His skin was dark and he had a neatly trimmed beard and shaved head. He looked about Sirius’ age, and was about as tall, though definitely rounder in both face and build.

He looked over the two of them and raised a thick eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

Sirius held out his hand. “I hope so. My name’s Sirius.”

“Nigel Brooks,” he said, and shook Sirius’ hand warily. His eyes drifted over Sirius’ shoulder to Regulus, but Sirius had a feeling Regulus would not be keen on an introduction.

Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out a photograph. “We’re trying to find someone, and we think you might have run into him.” The picture of Harry was from Remus’ wedding. He had folded it over so that Ron and Hermione were hidden, along with most of the movement in the picture. Harry still blinked and his smile moved slightly, but Sirius hoped the Muggle would just think it a trick of the light.

Brooks took the photo to examine it more closely, then shrugged. “Might’ve seen him around.” He looked Sirius and Regulus over again. “You don’t look like police.”

Sirius glanced down at his worn jeans and leather jacket. “Hardly,” he said. “I’m his godfather. His mother’s awfully worried. We’re just trying to get some information.”

Brooks returned the photograph. “I’m afraid I can’t help you. Best of luck, though.”

He started to close the door, but Sirius wedged his foot in the door. “We know you saw him, and at the very least, got his blood on you. We’re just trying to find out where he might have gone. There are dangerous people after him.”

Nigel straightened, and Sirius recognized a familiar determination in his dark eyes. “If what you say is true, and if I really did run into a young man, injured and running for his life, then what makes you think I would tell the first strangers who knocked on my door anything about him?”

“We’re his family.”

“Family can’t be dangerous?” Brook’s voice was cold, and Sirius, while he appreciated the man’s desire to protect Harry, felt outmatched. He didn’t feel outmatched very often.

“His name is Harry,” Regulus said, “and all we want is to know that he’s alive. You don’t have to tell us where he went, just tell us that he’s safe.”

Brooks stared at Regulus for a moment, then opened the door so it was no longer pressing on Sirius’ foot. “He’s alive, as far as I know. There was a lot of blood, but his injuries weren’t as bad as they looked. I thought whoever was chasing him had torn his wrist open, but when he showed it to me, there wasn’t even a scratch. He refused to go to hospital, just said he wanted out of the city, so I put him on a train. That’s the last I saw of him.”

“Has anyone else come asking for him?”

“No. You’re the first.”

“Thank you for your help.” Regulus inclined his head. “Sirius, we’re done here.”

Sirius did not think they were done. He wanted to know exactly which train Harry had gotten on. But Regulus was already leaving.

“Reg — wait —” But Regulus did not wait. Sirius eyed Brooks, but he supposed Regulus was right. They weren’t going to get anything more out of this man.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Sirius —” Brooks hesitated, and Sirius waited, hopeful.

But Brooks gave them neither a train nor destination. Instead, he handed Sirius a small business card. “If you find him, I’d like to know he’s alright.”

Sirius looked down at the plain white card. It had the man’s name printed on it and the contact information for an art gallery. 

“I’d find him faster if you’d tell me more.”

“He told me he was going to find his aunt and uncle,” Brooks said. “If you’re really his family, it shouldn’t be hard for you to track them down.” And he closed the door.

Sirius walked away, more confused than when they had arrived. He met Regulus at the bottom of the stairs.

“Did he tell you anything?” Regulus asked.

Sirius handed Regulus the business card. “He said Harry went to stay with an aunt and uncle. Do you think he meant Tonks and Remus?”

“I suppose that would be a simple way to explain their relationship to a stranger. Why would Harry go to Remus?”

“Maybe a fight with Greyback scared some sense in him.” Sirius found himself hoping it was true rather than believing it was true. Harry had been pushing them away all summer, and Sirius thought one duel unlikely to have changed Harry’s mind. Harry had his mother’s stubbornness, after all. 

Regulus handed the card back to Sirius. “I suppose there’s nothing else to do. We’ll just have to trust this man Brooks’ word that Harry is safe.”

“We’re hardly done.” Sirius was already walking back to the station at a brisk pace. “Now we show Harry’s photograph on the platforms. We start with the line headed for Tonks, and pray he didn't actually board a train to Paris.”

An unusual anger sparked in Regulus’ cold gaze as he hurried after Sirius. Not that Regulus never got angry, but he usually tempered it so well. “Harry is wanted by some of the most dangerous people in the world and you think it's a good idea to flash his picture around to every blasted Muggle in London — you’re also wanted by those same people! You can't just spend a day on a platform where they're surely to be looking for Harry — it’s absurd!”

Regulus' general frown of displeasure twitched with his outburst. His nose scrunched the tiniest bit and his already thin lips seemed to disappear. He looked so much like Narcissa. Sirius looked away, wishing his brother could wear someone else’s face. He wished, more often than not, that he could wear someone else’s face, too. Perhaps that was just another reason it was so much easier to be Padfoot.

“We’ll wear disguises.” Sirius surprised himself with the “we.” He had never wanted Regulus to come along on this hunt in the first place, but suddenly he was not keen on Regulus leaving him to it alone. “Hell we could even pretend to be Hit Wizards, deputised with hunting Harry down, if any wizards question us.”

“But the Muggles, Sirius! You’ll have to Obliviate every single one of them that you talk to, or else the Death Eaters or Hit Wizards or Muggle-born Registration Commision or Snatchers or any other group of wizards that want you and I dead could interrogate them and track it back to us — or worse back to Harry.”

“That will take us forever —”

“Why can't you just let Harry go? You know he got away from Greyback. Brooks put him on a train, helped him, made sure he wasn’t injured, so he must be safe somewhere. Isn’t that enough?”

“No. Not for me, and not for Lily nor Remus.” It wouldn’t be enough for James, either.

“You can't protect him from everything, Sirius. He’s seventeen now, and whatever Dumbledore’s asked of him —”

Anger flared hot and bright in Sirius' chest as he whirled on Regulus, and there was no Padfoot to soften the edges as he snarled Regulus words back at him. “‘Whatever Dumbledore’s asked of him’? Harry’s told us you're in on it so don't give me that hippogriff shit acting like you don't know. Like you're not keeping all the same secrets from us as Harry is. Like this is somehow less your fault, just because you slink away from arguments whenever you damn well please.”

Regulus’ temper faded from his face, replaced with an unusual, stricken expression that Sirius was not sure he had ever seen on his brother. Blacks felt many things, and usually felt them strongly, but fear? That wasn't something Sirius had seen in any of his cousins before, nor his brother.

But to Regulus’ credit, he did not transform into a cat and run away. He carefully schooled his expression back into its traditional calm and proud with a dash of disdainful form.

“I’ll help you find Harry,” he finally said in a quiet, almost apologetic voice. “But we Transfigure our disguises, no Polyjuice. It's too unreliable. And we Obliviate every Muggle we meet — don’t argue with me on this, Sirius! Yes, it will take longer, but it will keep Harry safer, and I trust that wherever he has run off to, he is indeed safe. We would have heard otherwise if he wasn't.”

Sirius took in several deep breaths to make sure his anger was cooled, at least enough that it would not attract the attention of those passing by them on the pavement, before speaking again. “Fine. Let’s do what we can today. And I want to put a word in the paper to Tonks, just in case he really did mean that he was on his way to her and Remus.”

“The paper? Sirius —”

“Not the <i>Prophet</i>. I’m not an idiot. Tonks, Remus, and I have a code we use for personals in the <i>Times</i>. Her idea. Said her dad used to use it in the first war to communicate with some of his Muggle-born friends, at first just after he and Andromeda eloped and had gone to ground to avoid her family, then as part of the war effort.”

Regulus shook his head. “It’s still risky —”

“It’s a war. There’s risk. Accept it and move on. The longer you whine about it, the longer nothing gets done.”

Regulus studied Sirius, and Sirius did not care for the intent look on Regulus’ face, almost like Regulus was trying to peer directly into his thoughts. It reminded him too much of their mother, trying to parse just how much trouble Sirius was in, just how much damage he had done.

But Regulus did not scold Sirius, nor criticise him. “I’m sorry,” he said instead. “You're right.”

Had Sirius been in a slightly better mood, he might have had a joke ready, made Regulus repeat his apology. As it stood, Sirius had trouble accepting it at all. Perhaps it was no real wonder he and Regulus had grown so far apart. Even when one reached out, the other couldn't bother to reach back.

He zipped up his jacket, suddenly cold, though it was only the middle of the afternoon, and kicked his boots against a nearby wall. It didn't lessen his frustration. 

And after a full day walking up and down train platforms, talking to and Obliviating every Muggle they met, Sirius was no less frustrated. The task ahead of them was enormous, and with each passing day that left them with no leads, it seemed more and more futile.

But there was nothing else to do. Lily and Remus did their part connecting with the Order, hunting down rumors of sightings of Harry, while Regulus and Sirius plodded on through Muggle after Muggle and Memory Charm after Memory Charm.

It was two full moons more before, finally, a Muggle woman frowned as she looked at the photo.

“I think… Goodness it’s been a while, but I think I did see him. Or I saw a boy who looked like him. Had red hair. I thought it odd with his complexion, but it was a dark sort of red, I suppose. The glasses… I can’t remember if he was wearing them or not. He was a twitchy lad, though, rather unhappy face. Is he in some sort of trouble?”

“No,” Sirius said, though it was not exactly true. He spoke quickly, anxious to get every detail out of this woman. “I’m his godfather, just trying to track him down. Can you tell me where he went?”

She pursed her lips. “I think… it must have been the rail line that goes out to Portsmouth — yes, I was visiting my sister that day, and I remember he had a large pack. I thought he must be on his way home from a walking tour.”

Sirius could not fathom what might have attracted Harry to Portsmouth. He wondered if it had something to do with Dumbledore. Maybe Regulus would know, but Regulus said nothing, mere stood at Sirius’ side, waiting to Obliviate this poor woman as soon as she was done talking.

“Do you know where he got off the train?” Sirius asked.

She frowned and handed the photograph back to Sirius. “I don’t know… he tripped over my bag on his way out. I felt awful. It… oh! It was Guildford. Yes, I remember, because —”

“Thank you so much for your time,” Regulus interrupted. Then, her eyes glassed over. She blinked at Sirius and Regulus, slowly, uncertain.

“Er — can I help you?” she asked.

“No, thanks,” Sirius grunted, and as soon as she was gone, he whirled on Regulus. “She might have had more information!”

“We needed to know where Harry had gone. Now we know. What else could she have told us? It’s not as if she followed him off the train. Besides, Sirius, she saw Harry over a month ago. There’s no way Harry’s still in Guildford, no reason he would stay in one place for so long.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius lowered his voice and tried to keep the threatening tone out of it, but he found it difficult. “You don’t know of anything in Guildford that might keep him there? Nothing to do with Dumbledore or You-Know-Who?”

Regulus’ stare was even, but that didn’t tell Sirius much. “Nothing. And if you can’t think of anything that would keep him there, then all we can do is go down there and see if some other Muggle happens to remember him passing through months ago — there’s just no sense in it. We know he got away safely. Let that be enough.”

Sirius was no longer listening to Regulus. He had plucked a map from a kiosk and was staring at Guildford on the network of spider web lines spiraling out from Waterloo Station, trying to make sense of why it had appealed to Harry.

“I’m an idiot,” he finally said.

“That’s nothing new,” Regulus said.

“Brooks told us where he was going from the beginning and I was too stupid to understand.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He was going to see his aunt and uncle, is what Brooks said. Not Tonks and Remus — his mum’s sister. Her Muggle family.”

“Does Harry even know them?”

“He knows they’re in hiding, and he knows their house will be empty — bloody hell I can’t believe I’m that thick.” Sirius balled the map up in his fist.

“Should we tell Lily and Remus —”

“Let’s make sure he’s there before we get their hopes up.” Sirius fought down another grunt of frustration. He had not felt this stupid in a long time, but how was he supposed to connect Harry to Petunia and Vernon, whom Harry had met perhaps twice in his life? He did not even wait to slip away to a hidden corner of the platform to Disapparate. He turned on the spot, in the midst of a crowd of Muggles, ignoring all of Regulus’ protests, and disappeared with a crack.