chronicpessimist09

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys Istg SHOUT is so useless I need help I’ve been waiting for an hour

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys my brother threw up in the car and Istg I’m not okay bc I’m terrified I’m gonna get sick and I’m scratching my arms and it’s not helping and I think maybe I want to die and yeah but basically I’m terrified rn

[chronicpessimist09]

Just wrote a knew solitaire fanfic on ao3 it’s called “*very good title*” by “your_babe_tori”

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys why does nobody talk about how hard it is losing step parents? My dad cheated on Beth three years ago and I still miss her. She was my step mum for over seven years so it’s normal i guess but I don’t think it should hurt as much as it does. Like I get that my dad just hates me. It’s like a fact of life you know but I thought maybe Beth would still wanna speak to her ‘child’ even if she hates my dad too. I don’t know I just hurts I think I’m just having a hard day. Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow. (I won’t)

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys idk why but I just feel really sad all the time no matter where I am it just feels like it’s getting really bad again and maybe I should die. Also my sister told my mom she felt suicidal and I completely forgot that it’s not actually normal to want to die all the time. Like not that I’m going to die or anything but I just feel like I wouldn’t mind so much if I did yk.

[chronicpessimist09]

Trump voters on tiktok are EXTREMELY mad about the following:

They just found out what tariffs are

They just found out what denaturalization is

They (particularly black and Hispanic trump voters) just found out that other trump voters are racist

Leftists and liberals don't want to be their friends (they are furious about this)

Leftists keep telling them they hope they get what they voted for (they are really mad about this too)

[chronicpessimist09]

I’ve not been on here in agesss so yeah anyway I was watching my cousins and somehow the topic of my dad came up and I said about how he doesn’t like me and lowkey forgot that that’s not normal my poor cousins were so confused and didn’t understand why he doesn’t like me and I’m ‘okay’ with it. I’m not really okay I don’t know how I feel about it to be honest. I don’t understand what I did that made him not like me.

[chronicpessimist09]

Yesss we love a queen who wants to keep our rightssss

GOD BLESS PATTI LUPONE BECAUSE SHE SAID THAT WITH HER ENTIRE CHEST 😭🫡

[chronicpessimist09]

MASSIVE OBX 4 SPOILERS

Why tf have I gone to watch my comfort show and my comfort is dead. What is this also why is everyone ignoring jj being so clearly Sui level depressed like what so yeah anyway im at rock bottom atm

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys I don’t know if I’m anorexic or have arfid because I mostly don’t eat because I’m scared I’ll get sick but also part of it’s for control because I have ocd so I literally can’t control my thoughts but also part of it’s because of my body so I just don’t know. I really want to get better.

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys I’m actually not okay. I’m having a massive panic attack and it’s already lasted 8 hours on and off. I have tuition tomorrow morning I’ve not slept and I feel really sick. I don’t know what to do I literally can see a point in my life anymore it’s so bad. I don’t understand what I did to make fid hate me so much but he must hate me a LOT for everything he’s put me through. I don’t understand how I can make him forgive me but I’m literally going to die from OCD. I just can see the point anymore.

[chronicpessimist09]

GUYS OMG THE ALICE OSEMAN RESPONDED TO ONE OF MY COMMENTSSSSSS AAAAHSHEBFIDKEBDHDJENSNNSJDJS

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys I’m actually not okay. I feel sick all the time. I can’t eat or drink or anything without feeling like I’m about to throw up and I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. So yeah that’s how I am recently. Oh and I keep crying. All the time. I don’t even know why because I never used to cry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore.

[chronicpessimist09]

Omg guys I went to the theme park today and I went with my friend imi. GUYS IM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH HERRRRR. I don’t know if she would actually like me like that but it’s so bad I’m literally a blubbering mess around her. Words cannot describe how beautiful she is literally she’s perfect. We like she same things aswell but I can’t ask her out because she’s a really good friend and I see her all the time and I don’t know what to dooooooo😭

[chronicpessimist09]

Hey tw I’m gonna rant about my father. I’m actually so confused and conflicted because I cut contact so I can’t be sad right? Idk I think I’m just annoyed because he literally does not care. He doesn’t give a single fuck about me or my life. He doesn’t know me at all. I don’t think he ever really has to be honest. It’s really confusing because I stopped speaking to him so I am not allowed to be upset about him not caring. It just hurts a bit seeing my friends with their parents who actually care about them. My dad pissed me off 6 months ago and I just blocked his number he didn’t ever try to email or message me on instagram or anything he literally does not care. I mean he always used to comment on my body and personality and he made me hate myself so much. I think that’s the confusing part because I’ve never had a good dad so why would I be upset he doesn’t care about not ever speaking to me again?I plan on changing my last name as soon as I don’t need his permission to do so. I don’t exactly know the point of this post to be honest but here we are.

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys guess whatttttt. I got my Halloween costume todayyyyy. I don’t particularly want to dress up but my friends are and my sport teacher told me to. I found an old black skirt and top so I’m going to classify it as a witch. I don’t actually think classify is the right word but oh well. Anyways I’m not actually doing much on Halloween just inviting a few friends round but non of us like alcohol or loud lights/noise so it is not a party. I’m so sad I’m deathly scared of throwing up because I would be an incredible drunk ahahah.

[chronicpessimist09]

Guys I’m actually getting worried about my eating. It’s not that I think I’m fat or skinny or anything because I’m not but all food literally makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. It doesn’t help that I have no sense of hunger until I’ve reached literal starvation. My mum keeps threatening me with hospital but if I’m being completely honest I think it would be good for me. I would ask for it but I’d rather die than throw up and a feed tube would 100% make me gag. So yeah that’s how I am hope your all doing well. P.s. I’m actually loving blogging idk why nobody else does it anymore it’s so freeing.