darkacademicvibes

[darkacademicvibes]

We need to be going door to door telling men about bisexuality. We need to start standing outside grocery stores

[darkacademicvibes]

You Owe Me

Fred Weasley x Fem!Lancaster!Gryffindor!Reader

Enemies to lovers, Fake dating

It's the fourth time in two weeks, and it's only Tuesday.

Adrien Pucey settles into the seat beside you, the same flirty smile on his face as his last three attempts at talking to you, and it takes everything in you to keep your glare of annoyance to yourself as you send Hermione at the gryffindor table your best 'can-we-please-have-a-tutor-session-right-at-this-second-i-need-your-help' stare, which she doesn't understand, of course, since you're usually so against studying.

"Hey gorgeous" you sigh heavily, barely glancing at him. "What do you want, Pucey" you mutter, hoping to merlin he doesn't make some revolting innuendo of some sort, you're trying to eat lunch for heavens sake.

"I want you to go out with me this weekend" he shrugs, and you turn to him, placing down your fork. "Look, Pucey, there's a nice way to say this, but I'm not going to be nice anymore. Leave me the fuck alone, I'm not interested in dating, sleeping with, or, talking to you" you state clearly, hoping it was exactly what he needed to leave you alone.

"Tell me one good reason why"

Hope is dead. There is no hope. Hopeless, that is his word, you will never say hopeless without thinking of this exact moment ever again.

"I have a boyfriend" the words practically tumble out of your mouth, and he immediately seems confused. Me too, pucey, me too. You think to yourself, because genuinely, what the fuck? No, you don't. Not that he needed to know that, because he was already standing up. "Right... uh, who, exactly?" He asks, and you panic.

"Look, we're trying to keep it to ourselves right now, yknow? We don't want anyone in our business, so if you could kind of... keep it quiet, that would be really helpful" you ramble, shit- literally - because at this point you are talking out of your arse. None of this is true, obviously, but if it gets him to leave you the fuck alone, then great, now it is. It's a lie, but it's true. In his mind, at least.

He pauses, "right." He mumbles, turning on his heel and leaving as you turn back to your meal, feeling particularly distraught.

"Y/n? It's time for our session-" Hermione Granger pauses, she's never seen you move so quickly, shoving bacon into your mouth and grabbing an apple turnover as you shove your things into your bag, standing up and grabbing her wrist with your free hand as you tug her along to the library.

What the hell happened since their last session? Y/n Lancaster has never once been the one most ready for their study session, it was always Hermione spending the better part of their scheduled two hours bribing her to actually open her books.

"I'm fucked" you state with a mortified groan the moment you make it to your usual table in the library, apple turnover in hand until you place it onto a loose piece of parchment, sending a suspicious glare to the wood of the library table. Who knew what tables couples had shagged on top of after sneaking in after hours for a bit of unsanctioned fun.

Hermione frowns, puzzled as she sits beside you, watching you actually open your textbooks. "What? What happened?" she asks, hurrying to tug her own books from her bag.

"Okay, you know how i've been bitching about Pucey asking me out and being all gross and stuff? Well he asked me out again, and I said no - obviously, like, gag - but he asked me why and I totally minblanked so I told him I have a secret boyfriend" you ramble, stressed at the situation you've gone and caused for yourself, because now you actually had to ask someone to pretend to be in a badly hidden 'relationship' with you to keep him off your back. Double gag.

She smiles, "oh, you do? congrats-"

"Hermione Jean Granger, you adorable, sweet, merlins favourite little gryffindor-"

"We're the same age-"

"-I am so greatful that you think I have such low standards and such high patience to date a boy of all things-"

"And we're both gryffindors."

"-But I am so single it borderlines on painful."

She's silent for a long moment, so long, you aren't sure if she understood you, and then, painfully slow, she begins to smile. And then a laugh bubbles out of her as you sulk, biting into the sweet apple turnover.

It takes a long few minues for her to calm enough to be able to look at you without laughing again.

"So now what?" she muses "You can't exactly keep lying and really expect to get away with it" she points out, and you fall silent, sending her a sheepish smile as she pauses, eyeing you warily.

"Y/n Gréine Lancaster, tell me you are not thinking about-"

You nod quickly, embrrassed.

"Y/n! That's ridiculous" she scolds quietly, and you groan.

"Trust me, I know... but I have to, I just want Pucey to leave me alone. He's been so convinced that i've just been playing hard to get- I can't take it anymore, 'mione, you even had to start tutoring me because i've been taking the long ways to class to avoid him in the halls" you insist.

She sighs, her gaze softening.

"I know someone you can ask, I'll talk to him" she promises softly. "He needs a date to christmas this year to keep his mother off his back anyway... a win-win situation is okay... right?" she asks softly, gently grabbing your hand. You nod softly.

"Of course, 'mione, thank you"

"Always, Y/n. Now.. herbology-"

"Oh god, must we?"

[darkacademicvibes]

Thank you @charms-cat for making me nearly piss myself laughing on a bad day lmao <3

[darkacademicvibes]

You poor thing, here, have a snackie🧃🍪

annual reminder not to feed the ghosts! yes I know it seems like a cute tradition, but these are wild spirits with specialized diets, and humans unintentionally cause serious havoc by interfering with their ectosystem

[darkacademicvibes]

:)

[darkacademicvibes]

I BOOP IN REAL TIME LET ME LOVE YOU ALL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

reblog this if you're okay with booping spams please !!

[darkacademicvibes]

[darkacademicvibes]

Have I booped you an atrocious amount? Yes.

Are your posts relatable? Yes.

Do I realize it is you until I have committed? No.

Do I do it anyway? Always.

i just did my biology homework sitting on the floor at my train stop

idec anymore

[darkacademicvibes]

[darkacademicvibes]

tell me why u follow me on anon

i am so baffled why y'all follow my shit blog. explain please.

[darkacademicvibes]

i love you trans women and transfems and especially to transfems whose gender isn't strictly woman but don't want to give people the avenue to degender you completely i love you forever and you deserve so much better

[darkacademicvibes]

NOBODY FUCKING MOVE.

[darkacademicvibes]

"Hey, Is there another part to We Think Similar Thoughts?"

Me: "YES! I promise!! <3"

"cool! When?"

[darkacademicvibes]

“How’s your WIP going?”

"Have you made any progress?”

“How close are you to being done?”

[darkacademicvibes]

[darkacademicvibes]

i always mean it when i say i love you btw

[darkacademicvibes]

hii!! do you write for tom riddle?

Hi lovely!!! I absolutely do! Any character from my listed library fandoms I will write for <33