#OOC and OCs

[noirbriar]

Glorestor: 5 Times They Denied (3)

+ 1 time They Did Not. From the POVs of the various folks around the 2 elves who are convinced they are courting, or betrothed, even though they were told otherwise.

Lindir has done his part! Now as we enter the Third Age, let's take a look through the eyes of the others in the lower hierarchy of power in the Last Homely House. OOCs and problems in writing are as always all on me.

---

3] The Residents of Imladris

Imladris. The Last Homely House east of the sea. It was founded to be a fortress and refuge, a haven for all. A place for healing in this gentle place for the good folk of Arda from all walks of life. Especially after the War of the Last Alliance and fall of Lindon. The many elves that now reside in the great valley of Imladris have bonded together closely despite their tumultuous past soaked in blood.

They now share festivities and celebrate the days together as one. Under the protection of Lord Elrond, they protect their home and each other from the dark forces beyond their boundaries.

Yet, much like any other proper civilisation, the quaint elven realm has her secrets.

---

Saelbeth frowns at the reports in his hands, almost as if staring hard at the figures alone will make the numbers work out. To no avail of course. With a heavy sigh, the young councillor gives up on his personal project for now and heads out of the library to join his mentor in the weekly general council meeting.

In the early days of the Valley, the quiet scholar from Lindon quickly became the primary assistant of Chief Councillor Erestor. The ellon was once skeptical considering the rumours he have heard about the once feanorian general turned advisor to the King's Herald. Though those thoughts were squashed once he realised the older elf was not just a brilliant politician but a great loremaster. Which greatly appealed to the inquisitive ellon hungry for knowledge.

It was Erestor who taught him personally in state building and trade. Where the younger elf quickly realising the great difference in the immense job of running a proper elven fortress compared to that of a regular settlement.

Now with the influx of kin from Lindon and all of Arda still recovering from the War, Imladris is healing but weary, like her Lord. Especially with the loss of their High King Gil-Galad.

Unlike other elven settlements, Lord Elrond's rule is fairly relaxed but firm in such times of necessity. Which suited the Lord of Imladris' temperament and the residents of the Valley, at least in Saelbeth's opinion. Therefore, the weekly general council meetings are never a chore to him.

Until the arriving participants notice the dour Lords at their seats.

Saelbeth darts a glance at an older member of council next to him, and then to Golradir, his fellow peer and fellow council member. Each sharing a weary look. Further up, Thandor and Laica, the Captain's deputies who were already seated, gives them a stiff nod.

They awkwardly nod back.

Great Eru have mercy, they are in for a long one. The two Lords have been at odds with the other for a long while, causing a strange shift in the air in Imladris...and looks like there is still no end in sight.

The young councillor quickly takes his place beside Lord Erestor and prepares his documents promptly. No point in antagonising his superior further with inefficiency.

The rest of the council arrives and slowly make their way to the dreaded table,marching on to their doom. Some even taking the time to tuck their new proposals and agendas back into their folders to see the light of another day.

Across the table Deputy Thandor looked as if he is struggling to be inconspicuous. Almost as if any sudden movement and he will become prey. Deputy Laica has her head up towards the ceiling wishing to be anywhere but here.

Even Lord Elrond himself had to resist with a grimace at the heavy atmosphere of the room.

Rebukes and petty words were thrown each time a subject is brought up by the other, forcing the council to remain silent for the most part. Until the dispute regarding the increase in skirmishes around the various elven havens that remain did the chaos begin.

That was when it all fell apart. Both the Balrog-slayer and Tempest of Imladris rising up to their full figure and hell bent on mincing one another apart with words alone.

It is when the difference in opinion escalates to a higher than necessary decibel, that the Lord of Imladris finally exert his authority. With a single slam of the table and some harsh words in disappointment and frustration, the chaos cease instantaneously. Effectively putting an end to the fight between his two highest ranking officials.

The very moment the meeting is adjourned and Lord Elrond has taken his leave,Lord Glorfindel storms off in a flurry of his white cloak, without a second glance. His deputies hurrying to keep up with their Captain. The rest of the Council make their quiet escape like field mice. Golradir still has the audacity to mouth a 'good luck' to him as he shuffles away.

Saelbeth stamps down his annoyance as he returns to his stoic mentor in his seat. The Lord's empty gaze fixed into nothingness for a long while before waving the younger elf away.

The young councillor turns back and watches the lone feanorian Lord for a moment. The old elf who always seem to bear a strange heaviness in his spirit, an unseen burden on his shoulders, now accompanied by only silence in the hollow room.

Saelbeth shuts the door quietly with a soft sigh.

In the passing of seasons, time crawls slowly by as they do for the eldar. Saelbeth suddenly spies his mentor working on a pattern design according to old Vanyar styles in the library while finding early records of the weather patterns of the Misty Mountains. That,clearly is none of his business. When Lord Erestor gets Saelbeth to procure certain material samples from the textile traders and vendors while doing the monthly inventory check, the Sindar does not bat an eye.

In the following year as the leaves turn, draping the valley in a bright array of gold and amber, Saelbeth stops by Lord Erestor's chambers to deliver the first harvest reports. When he is given permission to enter, he ignores his mentor's temperamental horned owl grooming itself by the window. What he first lays his eye on, is a stunning teal brocade robe decorated in gold on the mannequin the Chief Councillor seems to be fussing over in his main hall. Upon a closer look, one can even see the intricate threading of faint vines that seem like an illusion. Even if he is no expert, the assistant can clearly see it is a masterpiece.

"Saelbeth, come." Erestor calls over his shoulder without even a glance, as he pins the hem in place."Tell me, what am I missing here?"

The younger elf blinks.

"It is perfect, my Lord, but,"Saelbeth takes a pause before jumping right in," maybe it needs...a focal point?"

"Ah." Erestor looks back at his assistant at last with an owlish blink." Excellent, thank you, Saelbeth. Just leave those reports on the table for now. I shall attend to those in a bit."

With that, Saelbeth takes his leave as instructed without any questions.

Days later, Lord Glorfindel returns. The Golden Lord making his entrance abruptly still in filthy armour and his muddy travel cloak, helmet under his arm. Who has zero regard that Saelbeth is in Lord Erestor's office consulting a matter about the Conference of Ambassadors and Scholars Seminar, as he jabs an impatient thumb towards the door without pause.

"Urgent matters. Out."

The councillor’s owl perched on the Captain’s shoulder, hoots.

Saelbeth looks at the Captain as he tucks his knife back into his sleeve. The wary young councillor then turns to his Chief Councillor.

"Its fine, we will speak again on this."Erestor waves with a wry tug on the corner of his lips. Only then, does the ellon turn away with a polite bow to both, taking his leave. He even took care to lock the door behind him while he is at it. In his immense relief, he did not even realise the owl is now on his shoulder, clicking his beak.

But bless the Valar. Finally.

Later, he would spot that same gorgeous robe on the illustrious Lord of the Golden Flower during the mid-autumn festival. The light of the lanterns in the Hall of fire dancing off the shimmering crystals on the robe like dew, held together by a lovely crafted belt that compliments his powerful form, enthralling everyone he meets. A shimmering sash of the first rays of dawn draping his shoulders.His circlet on his brow with the famed golden hair flowing behind like an ephemeral flame.

The Emissary of the Valar is not alone. His companion, a dark fae draped in rich dark maroon silk that flows around his lithe figure. A hairpin with trailing teardrops made from mother-of-pearl pieces holds Erestor's ebony hair together. Crowned with his circlet, his dark smooth hair and braids glows in the dark with a soft warm hue. Even if the most interesting piece, in Saelbeth’s personal opinion, would be simple ear cuff etched with a golden flower that shines brightly on Lord Erestor’s right ear that accompanies his other earring of the feanorian star.

Towards the end of the festivities with Tilion high in the sky, he would be mighty drunk together with Golradir, and they will both stumble their way back to their own quarters to await tomorrow with their regrets. Though he swears, beneath the golden beech trees leading into the Inner Wing, he sees the incarnation of dawn and dusk sharing an unfamiliar dance under the cover of the merry dancing leaves.

---

Its raining again.

Ai...Its been two weeks and seems like the storm will not be leaving soon. Though it is very rare for such dreadful storms to hit their valley.

Guardsman Aerion sighs at the dismal weather before him as he remains at his post. He hates guard duty, with each shift the same, until Lord Glorfindel feels like dropping a random attack drill with the rookies to keep them on their toes.The only exciting thing all week had only been the sudden arrival of a Wandering Company.

Shifting his weight with a soft huff, Aerion lets his mind wander a little until something outside catches his eye. A rather strange scene in the ever peaceful House. A commotion in the courtyard out there in this dreadful weather. There in the summer storm, Erestor and Glorfindel are arguing in the punishing rain.

Erestor's restless dapple grey mare stands in the deluge beside her master in confusion at the elves fighting. Aerion is unable to hear a word over the distance but he sees Erestor turning to leave before Glorfindel pulls the councillor back harshly. Erestor looks ready to lash out but the Captain quickly wraps his arms tightly around the other ellon-

Oh. Oh ho.

It was a long while before the the two finally part, with the Golden Lord slowly getting Erestor to face him, cradling the councilor's face carefully in his hands as they spoke. It was a while more before Erestor allows himself to be tugged along by Glorfindel. The Captain taking the mare's reins from her master as he pulls them all back into safety of the shelter of the Homely House. Hmm. Guess that is his cue to let Master Lindir know, as he is heading down this way, that the servants ought to prepare a warm bath and some hot meals in Lord Glorfindel's chambers. Best to keep the staff away too. It would be terrible to disturb their peace.

---

Aeril makes her way down the Inner Wing. A tray of warm chicken broth and soft bread, some plain porridge with preserved vegetables in hand.

After settling in Imladris, she managed to secure a job as a chambermaid in the House of Lord Elrond. Even then, it was not easy. Master Lindir had been strict in his interviews as Steward, and her superior, Lady Mirien, demands nothing less than efficiency and perfection from her staff.

Imladris truly feels immensely different from Mithlond. Yet the community is nice and full of life. Her co-workers are friendly and the household management has treated her well in her transition into life in the Valley.

On her first night duty, she receives orders from a guard for selected food to be brought up to Lord Glorfindel's chambers. Aeril has long heard of the famed Lord of legends but does not let her curiosity get in the way of being professional. She arrives at the doors and balances the tray before knocking.It was not even a minute before it cracks open.

"Good evening m-"

A quick finger on his lips and a sharp look startles the young maid into silence. Once assured that all was quiet, the warrior, dressed down in casual sleeping tunic and pants and a rich green overrobe, gives a small smile of approval. A quick tilt of his hand, the mighty Lord gestures for Aeril to enter with the tray.

"Set it here along with the tea that is kept warm at the back. Then, you may leave." The Lord whispers and points to the modest dining table for the elleth to set the meal.Before he leaves into his main hall where the fireplace is burning bright.

There was shuffling and sounds of whispers and Aeril swears she only caught a glimpse because she was leaving once she concluded her duties.

In the dark elegant hall illuminated by the flames, laying across the couch with a palm supporting his head was Chief Councillor Erestor. The ever terrifying Lord was not in his usual elegant high collared ensemble, but in a sheer black robe that has the collar slipping down as he shifts in his slumber.A white fur blanket in his lap, and a threadbarescarf dyed in fierce crimson around his slender arms that is slipping down onto the carpet. Lord Glorfindel hovers above in an attempt to rouse him from his slumber. The Golden Lord's hand brushing the other's face gently.

"Eres? Eres, you need to wake up and eat something first. Elrond has said you must eat before drinking the migraine herbs."

"Hn..." Lord Erestor stirs, leaning into the warmth of the palm against his skin.

The sight was too much. The young elleth leaves a blushing mess as she hurries back to her station. Her sudden entry into the kitchens startling the other night staff and Mirien who was there checking in.

"Whats wrong, Aeril?" The older elleth asks carefully in concern but the young maid could only bury her face in her hands and return with a squeak.

"L-Lord-Glor-Glorfindel AND Lord Erestor-?!"

The staff leans back with a sigh and a roll of their eyes as realisation sinks in. Mirien pats the poor elleth gently almost sympathetically .

"You will get used to it soon, my dear."

---

Thandor wants to hurl himself into the Brunien. Now.

Eyes darting to the figure beside him, the deputy resists the urge to cringe with each turn of the page by his superior. Who looked decidedly entertained by this tiny, thin, novel in his hands. A palm sized book that belonged not to him, but borrowed from Handmaiden Aeril, who got it from another, and so on. Yet he was the last to be able to read it in their squadron, even when he was the one who got it for them!

Now the bastards are hanging further away from him to avoid being pulled into this. All of them trying to seem busy watching the rookies and advising on archery techniques like proper senior officers they are. His Captain never had issues with his soldiers doing their own thing during downtime. The charismatic Lord always casual but firm with his warriors, with great empathy and camaraderie to all under his command. Despite his trainings being ruthless and his standards for the troops are high. It is why the soldiers of Imladris respect their commander greatly.

However the problem lies in the contents of this peculiar publication. A harmless romance fantasy piece.Very well written, in very limited copies but just...a little spicy.

It was the main characters that were an obvious issue. Even to a simple warrior like himself. Heck, even an elfling can bloody see who those characters were. "This is fascinating! It is clear that that Lord Lote still desires Lord Mori despite what has happened in Court! How foolish it is for them to part on such dreadful terms! But this is absolutely engaging ...Why have you not introduced this intriguing work to me?" Glorfindel turns to Thandor animatedly.Amused by the book he had filched from his utterly distracted Deputy earlier during their quick break.

"Its not...an official publication, sir."

"Then who is this creative fellow? When we return to the House, I shall ask Erestor to have Melpomaen and the scribes to help this budding author." Glorfindel presses on brightly, utterly invested in the story. Eru, even if you do not care for this damned fea of a blood soaked feanorian, for the love of all that is good in this House- Do NOT let his ex-general even see this book.

"Captain! CAPTAIN!!"

A loud commotion from afar causes both deputy and Lord out of their conversation. It was Urthel and a few others from the second squadron. "Be calm, Officer Urthel. What disturbs you so to be making this much noise through the Barracks?" Glorfindel asks the worried ellyn as he shuts the tiny book and tucks it safely into his spare pouch. Thandor mentally sighs.

"Its Deputy Laica! She requests for your presence! Lithon and the cadets are fighting with Lady Celebrian's guards in the training hall!" With that, Glorfindel does not even wait, heading off in large strides. Thandor and Urthel shadows his steps. Where they quickly arrive to find an enraged Deputy Laica reprimanding the soldiers standing in position before her. Their faces bruised and beaten.While the newly transferred Galadhrim guards, who fair no better, are defiant even with their bloody faces. Each carrying their own argument, their voices overlapping one another's.

The Captain enters, causing the noise to cease, snapping into position as they see his arrival. The Lord’s face blank as he studies the scene and all involved.

Before Glorfindel could even begin his interrogation, Lady Celebrian herself, arrives at the scene, dressed in a silvery lavender summer dress with pearls in her hair. Beside the Lady as her guide with a hand on his arm was Erestor. Followed by her newly appointed handmaiden Aeriel, Councillor Saelbeth and Erestor's young assistant, Melpomaen.

They all bow before the Lady of Imladris.

"What is going on?" The new Lady of Imladris' bell-like voice resounds in the hall.Powerful and bright. In that instance, Celebrian looked like an echo of her formidable mother. Her elegant features now cold as steel, face filled with great disappointment. She finally turns to the guards that have followed her to this haven after her marriage.

"Guardsman Faron...What is this violence with the soldiers I hear? You were one of Lorien's best, and now you have disgraced the fine name of Lorien's warriors."

The sindar, Faron, and the other Galadhrim looked properly chastised by his Lady. Yet Glorfindel and the rest could tell that there is discontent still between the two factions as the two sides glare at the other. Celebrian sees this as well and with a twirl of her skirts, turns to Glorfindel with a heavy sigh.

"Well, Glorfindel, as my guards are now part of the army of Imladris, they too fall under your jurisdiction.I shall let you handle this as you deem fit."

"Certainly, my Lady. Though it would seem best if we are to hear what triggered this ridiculousness." Glorfindel have his hands behind, prowling down the line and inspecting each injured soldier with a sharp eye. When it was clear none were willing to volunteer the information freely, he takes his pick.

"Cadet Lithon." The Captain calls out, coming to stand before the dark haired ellon. His discontent obvious. Lithon fidgets, the young noldor remains silent for a long while, until with several nudges from his peers, he finally caves under the stern gaze of his commander. "They...they spoke ill of you and your choices, Captain." Glorfindel raises a brow at that.

"Oh?"

"They spoke of slander and said you could do better than having a..."The young cadet takes a breathe but mutters barely loud enough for all to hear,"...a 'bloody Valar-damned feanorian' like Chief Councillor Erestor for a mate."

One could hear nothing, nothing even a whisper of a breath. As if time stood still in this lazy summer afternoon within the confines of this training hall.

Hm, uncreative much? That is really not the worst they feanorians have heard before, especially back in Lindon. Kinda disappointing, Thandor thinks wryly to himself as he looks at the Galahdrim who are now shuffling uncomfortably at the attention from everyone.

Thandor sees Glorfindel's formal mask of indifference is still on. Years of working under the Captain, Thandor sees the silent rage brewing under that calm facade. The Lord of legend has absolutely zero tolerance for misdemeanour and disrespect from those under his command. Also a rare known fact is that Glorfindel actually has a formidable temper to be reckoned with despite his good and kindly nature. Like the Brunien raging on a bad day and at any other times, the deputy loves watching new recruits come to realisation at that fact.

Thandor then takes a brief moment of bravery to glance at the other party involved.Knowing his ex-superior, there are several ways this can go- But now, Erestor simply looks bored.

"Interesting. It seems like your summer drills have still allowed our troops to have energy to spin some idle thoughts." Erestor drawls, absolutely unbothered by the situation.

"Indeed. So idle that they seem to feel they have the right to delve into the private affairs of their Lords. What would you advise in this instance, Lord Erestor?" Glorfindel growls over his shoulder dryly. "I leave it to you, Lord Glorfindel, for they are your troops under your command. I am sure your boundless creativity can think of something to exercise their young, overactive brains than the thought of us being…married."

The Chief Councillor replies flatly without a glance, as he inspects the nonexistent speck of dust on his immaculately polished nails. The statement however, earns them more than a few wide eye looks ranging from confusion to bewilderedness from the present crowd.

“You jest!”

The loudest voice of surprise however, comes from Lady Celebrian herself.

"You are both not- Betrothed?" Her voice seem to leave her as her question is asked, her bright eyes wide as if in disbelief. The two Lords look at each other almost in consideration, and calmly turn back to their Lady.

"No." They replied smoothly in unison.

"C-Courting?"

"No."

Thandor is pretty sure everyone is not buying their bullshit.

Celebrian, aghast, places an elegant hand over her heart. She swivels her head like a puzzled doe with her wide eyes darting between the two other leaders of Imladris. From Glorfindel, to Erestor, and back again,scrutinising both. Even if what she seeks is what many have tried finding over the years, the marriage bond is simply non-existent between the two.

Her bright eyes then darts to that gold ear cuff on Erestor’s ear, squinting at it glittering under the summer sunlight pouring in from the windows.

Celebrian's brows furrowed , as if this is some disconcerting news and she is greatly offended by it. Thandor can hear her muttering under her breath incredulously as she processes everything,"but, that's not right...that's not what nana had said...I'm certain of it...Huh?”

There is nothing, save for the sounds of horses in the pastures, the distant waterfalls and the songs of happy little birds filling the air, and them, the first-born, shrouded in awkward silence.

"My deepest apologies, Glorfindel, Erestor. For such blatant disgrace and dishonour my guards have brought upon you. I shall leave their punishment to you both. But now if you will excuse me, I must speak to my husband at once." Celebrian declares this hastily and abruptly with great determination. She gestures for Handmaiden Aeril to lead her away as the rest bow as she leaves.

Glorfindel then finally turns to the soldiers, who remembers the trouble they are in. Now, they finally shall face the full brunt of the Lord of old Gondolin's ire.

"Well. I hope you all had your fill of entertainment for today, at the expense of myself and Lord Erestor. Good to know indiscipline exists in my ranks. What's next? Insubordination? It seems I am clearly too lax with you lot!"

Glorfindel does not need to shout, his voice demands nothing but absolute compliance to his orders as the soldiers remain still at his command. Before he turns to the Galadhrim guards, leaning into each of them down the line, as they struggle not to falter under the fierce eyes of the Balrog Slayer.

"By her Lady's grace, I hope you all are ready for what I have in store. Because as your Captain, I will make sure I will drill it into you to understand that this House, under the rule of Lord Elrond, does not accept your absurd notions and prejudices. It has no place here now or ever! Vanyar, Noldor, Telari, Avari, regardless of parentage or history, you will get that into your heads and you accept that as you are now one of Imladris! Or its straight back to Lorien you go! I do not care what Lord Celeborn or Lady Galadriel has to say! Is that clear?!" "Yes Sir!"

Glorfindel straightens to his full height and lets out a heavy huff, turning to Erestor with a weary look.

"My apologies Councillor, be assured they will all be dealt with.You will have a report and once I am through with them I shall send the soldiers for you to mete out an appropriate punishment.You have my word. " Glorfindel steps closer to Erestor who waves his apology away with an elegant hand.

"I shall leave it to you then, Captain.I see you have the problem in hand." The Chief Councillor finally lays his sharp gaze on the warriors, unnerving every young elf. Especially Faron, as he tries desperately not to make eye contact with the old feanorian general. The little welps shall reap the consequences later for their stupidity, but it would be fine, Erestor is fair, that Thandor knows.

The feanorian reminisces the days in Himring where he was born. Where Middle-Earth was harsh and their other kin despised them. Yet they endured.There is a reason why the feanorians remained till the bitter end, not for glory, but for the love their Leaders had given to those under them. Despite the hand they were dealt with themselves, the feanorians shared kindness amongst themselves, where there was none for them.

When everything was lost, there was no one left but their precious twin Lords Elrond and Elros. It was Erestor, their young general, who single-handedly kept the twins alive in Lindon with them, the unwanted, the strays and the remnants of a broken and hated House.

The dark haired elf wanders closer to the taller elf, laying a hand on Glorfindel’s chest, easing that deep frown slightly, seemingly calming the displeased Captain.

Oy.Oy.Oy. You both do remember where this is? Thandor resists burying his face into his hands with a snort.

The height difference is not much,but Erestor still leans up to Glorfindel's ear, lips nearly brushing an earlobe. With absolutely no regards to their audience watching attentively at all.He drops his voice into a bare whisper, with Glorfindel remaining silent.Azure eyes gleaming in concentration, possibly using Osanwe in reply. Effectively keeping the conversation between themselves, until Erestor finally pulls away. Slate green eyes meeting dazzling blues filled with light.

Great. They are seriously not convincing anyone being like that.Ah…If only Lord Maedhros and Lord Maglor can see their ferocious general now. Now that would be funny.

"Well then, I see my presence is not required here anymore in any case. "Erestor announces flatly with disinterest. His dark gaze lingers on Glorfindel for a moment, dragging his fingers along the warrior's arm before he turns to take his leave with Councillor Saelbeth and Melpomaen-

Only to be nearly rammed into by a silvery blur that is their Lady running back, skirts in hand.As she rushes back into the Barracks. Her Handmaiden trailing behind in wild panic.

"WAIT! Wait,wait! So- everything in the book is not true??"

Erestor stares at the Lady, his brows in a deep frown.

"Book? What book?"

Saelbeth’s face scrunches in visible pain, young Melpomaen pales,while the soldiers of Imladris struggle to remain calm. Which earns them more weird looks from their new brother-in-arms from Lorien.

Thandor tiredly shuts his eyes to the disaster before him, and sighs.

---

A/N: Elves of Arda work hard but the gossip mills of Imladris work harder! And what better way to immerse into a new city and bond with your teammates than to have wagers on your bosses’ love life!

This was too damn long and OOC and got out of hand im so sorry.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

[secretidentie]

Tim for literally no reason: Hey Jason do yk where I can get some cocaine

Jason: Why tf do you need cocaine

Tim: I'm a teenage CEO why tf do you think I need cocaine

Jason: Fair enough. But I'm still not selling you cocaine

Tim: Why not? I just want to hang out with the other young finance bros

Jason: Hey dick head, tell your brother I'm not giving him cocaine

Dick: Tim are you okay? do you want to talk about this??

Tim: Uhg I'm fine. You're the one ones who said I should stop drinking coffee

Jason: and you thought this was a good alternative???

Tim: Come on I'll only do a little

Dick: Is this coz we spoiled the ending of wolf of Wallstreet

Tim: Why can't I just have some? You do!

Jason: No I don't

Tim: You're a crime lord

Dick: Yeah isn't it like part of the job

Jason: WHAT NO Stereotype much. I've never even seen cocaine up close

Tim: YOU'RE A CRIME LORD

Jason: Yeah not a drug dealer THERE'S A DIFFERENCE

Tim: I should have known your not cool enough to have drug dealer connections

Jason: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA BUY A FUCK TON OF COCAINE AND DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU JUST TO RUB IT IN

Dick: Woah woah that's enough both of you. No one in this house is doing drugs. If anyone talks about cocaine again I'll tell Bruce you said you want to start a new crack epidemic. He'll make you sit in at strangers AA meetings and read through old case files of ex dealers and their autopsies. Don't. TEST. me.

Tim: ............

Jason: ............

Tim: Can you sell me meth?

[stormsofasorceress]

baldurs gate out of context (x)

[noahsresources]

DETAILS ABOUT OCS !

send an emoji/description of emoji to learn more about a writer's oc! many of these are taken from my munday asks meme, because i thought it would be fun to make a version for characters too! the prompts are categorized by emoji type and given descriptions in case anyone can't see the symbols. can be used for roleplayers and any general writers alike! for roleplayers, these can also be used for your interpretations of canon characters if you so desire as well!

𝐎𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒. 💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — what is your oc's MBTI, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/interested in)? 🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars? ✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person? 🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies? 💍 RING — does your oc have any piercings? do they want any (more) piercings? 🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos? 📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)? 🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)? 🩹 ADHESIVE BANDAGE — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities? 🩸 DROP OF BLOOD — what is your oc's blood type?

𝐒𝐘𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐒. 🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often? 💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know. 💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits? 🔱 TRIDENT EMBLEM — can your oc swim? do they enjoy swimming? 🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons? 🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise? 🚫 PROHIBITED — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄. 🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use? 🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your oc's favorite holiday? 🐶 DOG FACE — does your oc have any pets? 🐈 CAT — does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends? 🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal? 🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature? 🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND — what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school? 🌴 PALM TREE — does your oc have a green thumb? do they enjoy gardening? 🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒. ❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits? 🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits? 💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits? 💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them? 🧡 ORANGE HEART — does your oc tend to prioritize family or friends? 💛 YELLOW HEART — how many languages does your oc speak? what language(s) are they learning, if any? 💚 GREEN HEART — does your oc prefer being inside or outside? 💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world? 💜 PURPLE HEART — what is your oc's ancestry/genetic background? 🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒. 🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE — when is your oc's birthday? how old are they? what are their sun, moon, & rising signs (if known)? what about their tarot card, ruling planet, & ruling number (if known)? do they fit the typical traits of these sun, moon, & rising signs? 🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favorite food(s)? 🍰 SHORTCAKE — what is/are your oc's favorite sweet(s)/dessert(s)? 🍦 SOFT ICE CREAM — what is/are your oc's favorite ice cream flavor(s)? 🍔 HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer? 🥯 BAGEL — what does your oc's typical breakfast look like? do they usually eat breakfast? 🥪 SANDWICH — what does your oc's typical lunch look like? do they usually eat lunch? 🍛 CURRY AND RICE — what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner? 🍸 COCKTAIL GLASS — what is your oc's favorite alcoholic drink, if they can drink? ☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)?

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄. 😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life? 😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved? 🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms? 🧐 FACE WITH MONOCLE — is your oc more logical or emotional? 🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy? 🤩 FACE WITH STARRY EYES — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions? 😥 SAD BUT RELIEVED FACE — is your oc prone to getting stressed out, or is it easy for them to keep their cool? 😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge? 😞 DISAPPOINTED FACE — does your oc attract others, or do they tend to be left alone? 🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily? 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

[mysterycitrus]

where are the supporting casts in batman fic. why is everyone just hanging out at the manor. why are the only leaguers mentioned clark and diana and maaaaaybe ollie if his parenting is getting slammed. where is everyone. why does no one have any friends. why do the friends they do have no rich inner lives outside of batangst. is gotham city trapped under the gd simpsons movie dome. dick grayson blink twice if ur being held hostage

[leahaart]

Soon after his escape, Edwin starts to learn about the things he’s missed.

[feyascorner]

at the end of the day

summary. you and astarion have your first genuine fight and the other companions try to patch things between the two of you.

warnings. comfort/fluff

pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader

a/n. have not written an actual one-shot in a while omg,...

Breakfast is eaten in silence. One that's been extending far past its welcome date now.

Shadowheart grips her fork, feeling the flitting glances exchanged amongst the others around the table while she maintains focus on the two individuals sitting on opposite sides of the table. Your eyes remain trained on the bread sitting on your plate and Astarion swirls his chalice aimlessly in his hand, neither of you even acknowledging the presence of the other. The cleric grimaces as you stand suddenly, your chair scraping against the floor as you do so.

"Thanks for the food, Gale," is all you mutter before leaving the room with your plate in hand. Astarion rises from his own chair in an instant, huffing.

"I must take my leave as well."

When both parties have left the room, all five other companions stare at one another in a knowing silence. Lae'zel is the only one who doesn't seem the slightest bothered. Wyll is the one to break the uncomfortable tension in the air, clearing his throat after Lae'zel nearly bites her fork off. "I see they're still amidst their lovers' quarrel."

"What are they even fighting about?" Karlach groans, slumping into her chair with an exasperated groan.

"It was nice the first few days to have a good night's sleep without their incessant noises," Shadowheart grumbles, shoving an egg into her mouth. "But now, this is arguable worse."

"Should we...aid them somehow?" Gale blinks.

Lae'zel snorts. "They're adults, we don't need to coddle them, wizard."

Despite her words, they do find themselves a few hours later in unanimous agreement to do something to ease the unfamiliar dryness of the camp dynamic. It comes in multiple attempts. And to say few---if not all--were unsuccessful, is an understatement.

First, when out in the woods, Gale makes an effort to spark a conversation that would prompt both you and Astarion to join in. You nod occasionally, though lost in thought, while Astarion promptly ignores whatever he's talking about. It's a pathetic attempt that has nobody but himself babbling away, which earns a grunt from Shadowheart. It's enough to shut him up, thankfully.

Second, Karlach uses her uncanny ability to lift someone's spirits. Jokes, dancing, all that jazz. Even booze. She urges you to let loose, but all you do in response is smile at her apologetically while Astarion just glares off into space. Another failed attempt. Lae'zel pats Karlach on the shoulder.

Wyll tells stories of his monster hunting days which you usually take an interest in. Astarion naturally listens to what a monster hunter does when he's not hunting monsters, but that's all it is. You and Astarion only listen. There are quips and lingering questions, but neither of you ever direct it at one another, or bother to add into the conversation either. The sheer amount of teasing questions has Wyll's head spinning by the end of it. Lae'zel rolls her eyes.

Just when things couldn't possibly get any worse, you're ambushed. It's a small horde of goblins---nothing beyond your capabilities, but your companions do take some small scratches here and there. Somehow, though he rarely does, as he prefers staying behind you or Karlach, Astarion does too. And despite his efforts to hide it behind his back, you also didn't miss the cut lining Astarion's arm to his elbow. It's not deep by any means, and if it were your own injury, you'd likely just brush it off.

But it's on his skin, and he'd gotten it when taking a hit from an arrow that should've cut your arm.

Blasted hells, you think, as he shrugs it off. Even when you can clearly see him clenching his jaw to bite away the pain.

If battle won't be the end of you, you're sure your idiot of a boyfriend might be instead.

"Come here, you fool," you mutter, holding out your hand. He doesn't even consider the fact that you're mad at one another and immediately extends his arm to you. Habits, you suppose.

You mumble out a weak scolding as he watches you wrap the wound through his lashes. He shivers as you lather a cool ointment on the cut, hoping it's enough to soothe the pain before Shadowheart's recovered enough to properly heal him. He lifts a pale hand to your face, and for a moment, you think he might pinch you. Instead, he runs a thumb across your cheek, spreading the ointment on a scratch you hadn't even realized was there in the first place.

You meet his eyes, your own softening as he cups his fingertips around your cheek. The way he looks at you is overwhelming sometimes---like you're the only thing he gives a damn about in this world---but it's a welcome feeling when he hasn't even looked you in the eye this way in days now. For a moment, you realize you don't even remember why the two of you were mad at one another in the first place.

A laugh threatens to escape your throat. How childish, truly.

And then he flicks your forehead, unable to help the grin etching onto his lips when you blink in surprise.

"That was for making me sleep by myself for three nights."

You swat at his arm while he dodges each of your lazy attempts to get back at him. And though the two of you continue bickering, unbeknownst to you, you have an audience a good bit away, watching you return to your old ways after making them worry for so long.

"What a sight it is--to see young people in love again," Wyll smiles.

Shadowheart deadpans. "Isn't Astarion nearing 240?"

"Who cares?" Karlach shrugs, slinging her arms on either side of her companions with a toothy beam. "What matters is that they made up...and we didn't even have to help them."

[ask-the-pioneer]

Why are you so friendly to the scavengers? They basically ruined your life :(

// It's worth noting that Marbles is not aware of the extent of damage that the scavs have done to her family. All she saw was her mom and sibling jump over the ledge, and disappear forever. She still holds on to hope of seeing them again, but it’s slowly dwindling because of how much time had already passed.

[ohposhers]

i kid you not this came to me in a dream last night Blaze Sonic Fusion their name is Bullet cause i think im hilarious

[kylrim]

drew Paula again bc I didn't do her justice last time- so she gets a whole ass drawing AND hc post wow, she been in my head recently sooo yapping time?? ;

Alright so I always saw her having this creepy girl vibe, her theme, story and even her offensive powers makes me think she would make other kids her age get repulsed by her and have no friends before meeting the people that could look past that and found a really sweet, kind, intelligent, strong and caring girl ❤️ Taking care of younger children in her parents' preschool, she kept her "childish" interest instead of trying to grow up faster like her peers, finding comfort in the only people that accepted her other than her family. Well, accept is the words, she's the kind of person that make kids like them without doing anything, silently being there for them and listening, happy anyone would talk to her atp,,

She prayed everyday for a friend.. Until one day she had a vision, where her dream finally came true, After being saved by Ness in Happy Happy Village, she immediately trusted him. Meeting her, Ness never found her weird, he never judged her for anything, rather, his welcoming attitude made her feel like they always knew each others. After gathering everyone, she never felt more like herself, she started smiling again, being told in the past how creepy she looked doing so made her insecure about it, and she swore to protect them all what ever the cost, never wanting to lose the only thing she ever wished for

[mellowwillowy]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐠𝐞

Yan! God x GN Yan! Reader

Warnings: Gruesome talk, blood, NSFW, Sadist x Sadist, mention of conceiving (miracle talk, no hope though).

"You are the most beautiful songbird in this world, dear."

Just like the songbird you were, you could only chirp and sing like them in this golden cage. The man's golden eyes stared into yours in adoration, his finger poked your cheek playfully every now and then.

How could he not adore his songbird when it took at least millenniums for him to catch you? It was a nice play chase game but he was also a man of needs. He needed to have you in his embrace, in his gilded cage.

"What will you do this time? I won't let you kill yourself to escape anymore."

And he was a man of his word. He would not go back on his words no matter what it took. Even if it meant he had to travel between fragments for millenniums just to find you.

"Oh... my songbird... how beautiful you are with these cuffs on your ankles..."

As though he was petting a bird, his hands ran up and down on your leg, squeezing your thigh every now and then.

"Dressed in white, you really do resemble an angel..."

He held the fabric of your clothes, humming as a glass of wine appeared in his hand. It reminded him of how those lambs' wool was splattered in red as it met its own demise.

"But you see... I enjoy tainting angels... I'm not just some benevolent God like you were..." He spilled the wine onto your clothes, enjoying watching how the red wine seeped through the pristine white fabric.

"My songbird... my favorite lamb..."

He brought his face closer to yours, his lip pressed against yours.

"All good for me, right?"

And that was his warning before he bit on your lower lip, nibbling it as though it was candy. His target shifted into kissing you, his right hand on your waist while his left hand held you still. You thrashed under his hold, legs flailing like a fish.

"Be good."

He bit your tongue, that was his first warning. Unlike his other self, he was not one to have his patience tested. And you loved that. The kiss lasted for as long as you could go on without breathing, tongue exploring each other's. You knew you were growing needy, as much as you enjoyed playing as the target and victim of his adoration, you also fancied him in one of the rooms in your 'heart'.

Growing bored, he pulled off from the kiss and started littering your neck with kisses instead. Your hand went to cover your mouth, your tongue feeling the lip he kissed earlier. You really loved him. So much that you want to cut his tongue and have it as your dinner.

He started to grow greedy, leaving his marks here and there, hickeys and bite marks painted all over your neck and shoulders for people to see. It served as a warning for people who dared to approach after all.

For you were the God's most beloved companion and lover.

Not wanting to lose, you nibbled his ears while your hands clawed his back as though treating him as a scratchbox.

"You must have really wanted to paint my back red again huh?"

He let you do so as he took off his whole attire, only leaving him with his pants, his toned chest bare open for you to feel.

"Go on, I ought to spoil my lover every now and then no?"

You didn't waste your time, digging your nails into his flesh as deep as you could to draw even more blood. You loved seeing him bleeding, you had always enjoyed making people you fancy bleed in one way or another, feeling their blood tinged your arousal.

He did not hiss even for the slightest, used to any kind of pain. His hand traveled down to cup your clothed sex before tearing the fabric that clothed it apart, teasing it with his fingers before he worked his way into it. His other hand stimulated you, both working to make you dig your nails even deeper, it made his back painted in bloody trails.

Gods had no worry with earthly wounds and scars but you two enjoyed keeping each other's marks, relishing in the pain as it was created, unwilling to erase it from your own skin as the two of you let time heal themselves.

As though he wanted more, he brought his mouth to work as well, making your hands move to tug his hair instead. You did not even bother to minimize your moans and whines, thighs squeezing him, not allowing him to pull away even if he was suffocating in a sense.

You knew he would never suffocate after all. No matter how hard and long you choked him, he would never pass out and his erection would only grow larger as he waited for his turn to do so. You two were sick.

It didn't take long for you to reach your high, yet just before you could come, he pulled away from your grasp forcefully, a smirk plastered on his face as he wiped his mouth. A bastard at heart.

"Why don't you return the favor?" He brought your face to his clothed cock by your hair. Used to this, you pulled down his pants and started kissing his cock before pulling down his underwear as well.

Well, it was safe to say his cock bounced out and accidentally hit your face. He only chuckled at the sight of you groaning before pinching your cheek, "How adorable." No matter how sick the two of you were, you two were also souls with a bond. A bond where the two of you would never hesitate to slaughter anyone that got in the way. It was no secret that you had always been brimming with envy seeing him fooling around with his followers.

He didn't mind seeing you going on a rampage with his little followers, in fact, he enjoyed watching it from the sideline. Watching how much they had to suffer as it depended on how much they had spent their time with him. The worst was yet the best for him. You would then sing like a songbird as you clean your mess up, praising yourself for serving another meal for Leviathan to feast. (an: Leviathan - the demon of Envy) In fact, he found you playing around adorable despite the mess he had to clean up as well.

You wrapped his length with your mouth, drooling at the thought of it entering and ramming you in and out. It would feel so good that you were already excited, your excitement leaking out as proof of it.

"So good for me, no?"

You nodded as you shut your eyelids, head bobbing in and out as your hand worked its way as well. You knew the parts he was sensitive to and you wanted to feel him tugging your hair even harder. Your tongue licked one of his cock's veins, urging him to twitch inside you excitedly.

"You really... are, khk-!"

You smiled to yourself mentally, adoring the subtle groans he made and dying to listen to more of it. You really loved seeing his flustered face, and you'd die to see it again, his face red until it reached his shoulder, moans slipping out of his lip and his erratic pace to chase his high, You loved it all. Although you could actually feel your jaw growing sore from his size, you did not pull away. Well, it's not like you could pull away.

The only warning he gave you before he shot his load into your mouth was a little statement of him saying he was cumming. And he came a lot.

Do Gods from his world just have this monstrous size of strength, size, and loads? No wonder they all just have these unlimited amounts of offspring and children.

He pulled out once he finished inside your mouth, his sperm trickled out from the corner of your mouth and hit the floor. His fingers squeezed your round chick, prompting you to open your mouth. You opened it and showed him just how your inside was painted in white with his semen.

He bit his lip, his face and shoulder red from his previous makeout with you. You could just really cum just by looking at his worn-out face, clenching your thighs while thinking about what you should do to make him redder.

"Swallow."

And you did so. His order rang inside your head while you swallowed all the probabilities and chances of a miracle to happen inside your body, for you to conceive. But you threw it all away and drank it down like your favorite drink, wiping the corner of your lip with your thumb before pressing the thumb onto your tongue.

You pointed down to your sex again, the grin on your face gave him all the ideas you wanted. To fuck himself into you as deep as possible and paint your insides white with the idea of a sweet 'miracle' despite the two of you knowing such a thing would never happen. Such a miracle never existed. But what were you two but indulging in each other's wish and lust?

"I truly love you the most, Caelus!" You kissed him with your arms wrapped around his neck. Caelus reciprocated your gestures, his lip nibbling your earlobe as he positioned his cock into your entrance.

"Beats me, I love you too, my love."

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒌, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒚.

[stormsofasorceress]

baldurs gate out of context (x)

[ohnoitsnoma]

angrily drawn ron glenn ship art as promised😡

[conspicuous-clown-car]

what a strange thing, to hold and be held

[factual-fantasy]

XD I found another meme base!

Now this is out of character for Octo.. but I just imagined this is Louis, Octo and Seafoam talking about all the health problems they have and/or their terrible diets. And Spidercrab, (being the ships medic) is just freaking out XDD

"Captain-- you've never had BROCCOLI BEFORE?? Louis you have CHRONIC BACK PAIN?? WAIT- OCTO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FAINTING/DIZZY SPELLS??" XDD

(Base below the cut! :} )

[deliveryclan]

blood will spill blood

( @barrenclan )

rip bozo

i just had the funny idea to reuse the hugging pose from flashback i Issue 31. no reason at all.

i hope i didnt butcher their stripes too much, it was just.. augh. torture. drawing guts badly wasnt as bad as figuring out the stripes.

(i know its not a clangen comic, but its still a huge inspiration, especially for making non-cats sentient and how to handle hunting prey if it can talk back.. among many other things)