#Not That Long Actually

[stupidvillainousposts]

Having Pups and a Skittish Boyfriend Makes it Difficult to be Intimate

Fidds, wrapping his arms around Stan: C'mon, sweetheart; Ya haven't slept for ten straight hours.

Stan, staring at Ford's journal: Not tired.

Fidds: Well, I think I know how t' fix that conundrum~

Stan, wagging his tail with interest: Oh, really?

Fidds, running a hand up Stan's shirt: *Chuckles* I sure do~

Mabel, running into the lab holding a sweater: Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Fidds! Look what I made!

Stan and Fidds: *Immediately Pull Away From Each Other*

Mabel: Whoa, you're both really red. Are you okay?

Fidds, nervously: Yep! Perfectly fine! Whaddya have on yer little sweater there, pun'kin?

Mabel: *Goes on a Spiel About Her Work*

Stan: *Turns Back Around to Study the Journal More*

Fidds, under his breath: Darn it.

----------------------------

Fidds: *Nibbling on Stan's Neck While They're in Bed*

Stan: *Panting and Whimpering Happily*

Dipper: *Knocks on the Door Frantically* GRUNKLE STAN! THERE'S A GIANT RAT IN THE KITCHEN!

Fidds: *Hisses Quietly*

Stan, snickering: Alright, gimme a second, Squirt! I'll get down there and catch it!

------------------------------

Stan: Anyone got anything planned for today?

Dipper: I'm gonna binge that cool show Wendy told us about!

Mabel: I've got sweaters to make!

Stan: What about you, Honey Bunches? Got anything planned?

Fidds, thinking he'll finally be able to get freaky with Stan: No, nothing in particular. Why d'ya ask?

Stan: I have to check the perimeter for the week. It'll probably take all day so I wanted to make sure nothing important was going on. You'll be okay here with the pups, right?

Fidds, gritting his teeth: Yup. Fine as flour.

-----------------------------

Stan: The pups are hanging out in the woods with Wendy.

Fidds: Okay?

Stan: They should be out for a while.

Fidds, getting hopeful: Yeah...?

Stan: So... I was thinking...

Fidds, excitedly: About...

Stan, suddenly anxious: Nothing, nevermind.

Fidds, horrifically shocked: ...I'm going outside.

Stan: Why?

Fidds: I need some fresh air!

---------------------------------

Fidds: *Peacefully Reading a Book*

Stan: *Walks Up to Fidds* I wanna have sex.

Fidds: YEE-FUCKING-HAW!

[s0da-b0y]

Uhm tw mentions of weed I guess

[gongyussy]

good thing from jp twitter this week is queen of old man yaoi michiru sonoo discovering the term old man yaoi

update: somehow it got impossibly more wholesome

quick translation: おかえり: welcome home あ 終わった 終わった: ahhh, it's over! it's done! コーヒー? お茶?: coffee? tea? コ~ヒ~ ありがと: coffee, thank you~ ネクタイレア★★ ネクタイ取るレア★★★★: seeing him with a tie on, rarity level ★★, seeing him take a tie off, rarity level ★★★★ にあうな~: it suits him~

also please do follow: AraigumaSha: sensei's twitter account marureviere: maru, who does such valuable work highlighting bl manga for an international audience

[sleeplessv0id]

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[orphetoon]

when there’s historical romance written abt ur friends

[monstermonger]

I love when i look in a window and find a cat there

[stealingpotatoes]

tried to tell my faithful eunuch Tucker that he was basically tumblr famous, but he was too focused on defending the homestead to care

[strigops]

sweet beast

welcome to the holocene little one, we’ve waited so long for you

[katsinspats]

I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes

Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

[captainjonnitkessler]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

[happyroadkillart]

[nenoname]

Stan Pines' drawings

Plus a Stan drawing of debatable canonicity but I love his signature being a dollar sign

[gongyussy]

"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"

hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)