#Stu come on man save some for us

[s0da-b0y]

Uhm tw mentions of weed I guess

[amomentsescape]

hi hi! I was hoping you could do slashers with a super bubbly and affectionate s/o who would beat up anyone who dares hurt the slasher while still holding their sweet smile

Slashers with Sweet and Dangerous! Reader

Slashers x Reader (Separate)

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo

A/N: So I got a bit carried away and wrote this as if Reader is willing to kill for the Slashers. So hopefully it's not too intense for what you were wanting! Feel free to let me know what you think :)

Freddy Krueger

He knew there was a reason he was so drawn to you

You were sweet, kind, and just an overall ray of sunshine that Freddy never knew he needed

He loves basking in your warmth

But seeing you hold that damn grin while ripping out someone's throat for just punching Freddy has him weak in the knees

He loves the affectionate sweet side to you, don't get him wrong

But knowing that you can do a complete 180 makes him feel like he's in his own beautiful type of dream

He feels more comfortable telling you his plans now and the types of ideas he has for killing future victims

And you just sit there all happily and nod along like he's telling you a bedtime story

It's cute but also so foreign to him

He has a hard time remembering that you can be just as deadly as him when you want to be

Michael Myers

He honestly has no idea how to feel about this situation

It took him some time to get used to being with someone so cuddly and happy all the time

He wasn't much of a fan of it at first, but something inside him refused to let you go or kill you

But seeing you smile over his victims and even step in to prevent him from getting injured has him confused

He is more than capable of protecting himself

He doesn't need you getting involved

But at the same time, knowing he isn't the only one with this grotesque side makes him feel.... content, in a way

He just doesn't like you stepping in too much

His victims are his, and he refuses to share

But if you save him from getting stabbed or set on fire

Well... then that's fine he guesses

Jason Voorhees

You two are practically different sides to the same coin

He comes off as deadly, incapable of emotions, and just an overall killing machine

But when he's with you, he's the sweetest and most kind man you have ever met

You're practically the opposite

You come off as an innocent, bubbly goody-two-shoes to most of the public

But when someone dares hurt Jason, a hidden poison emerges from within you

Jason never thought you were capable of picking up his notorious machete, nonetheless swinging it right through someone's skull

He just froze up in shock at this realization

He was drawn to how sweet you were to him, but knowing that you're capable of killing only makes him more happy

He was always worried that you would leave him after dealing with his darkness for too long

But knowing that you aren't all sunshine and rainbows has reassured him

Thomas Hewitt

Considering what his family eats every night for dinner, he would have hoped that you were capable of similar actions to him

Killing is just a way of life to him, so knowing that you can do the same is so normal

That isn't to say that he wasn't surprised the first time you stuck up for him

But if anything, that surprise was immediately followed by a sense of relief

If you can do that, then you can fit right in with the rest of his family!

They liked how affectionate and kind you were to Thomas, but they were always worried that you were going to be too soft for their way of life

Now he knows there's nothing to worry about

Well, maybe except for getting on your bad side

You always have that sweet smile on your face, and he'll be damned if he pisses you off one of these times

Bubba Sawyer

The first time you killed for him, he couldn't help but jump around in glee

You're just like him!

You're covered in blood and guts but still smile sweetly at Bubba

Just like he does for you

It honestly just reinforces the idea that you were meant to be together in his mind

You stick up for him, and he sticks up for you

With that being said, he does still paint you as this sweet little angel that needs to be safe at all times

He doesn't want you to get your hands dirty unless absolutely necessary

So he prefers for you to stay away from all the carnage he goes through on a daily basis

But he won't try and control you

As long as he is met with that soft smile and big hug at the end of a long day, Bubba is content

Brahms Heelshire

Oh...

He's flattered, don't get him wrong

The fact that you're willing to protect him shows that you really are devoted to him

And he loves that

But he also doesn't want you intruding with his desires

That person is going to die?

Brahms wants to be the one to see their last breath

It's not very often he gets to feel like this, so he wants to soak up every exhilarating second of it while it's there

And you're just so pure and kind that he doesn't want you becoming all tainted like him

Your job is to be the good in Brahms and take care of him

Not to let this darkness take over

You provide, he protects

That's all he asks for

Norman Bates

And to think after all of this time, Norman just assumed you were like him

Quiet, sweet, affectionate

He had no idea you'd be capable of fully plunging a knife into someone's neck just for saying a couple mean words to Norman

But he secretly couldn't help the way he admired your blood splattered face, that smile he loved so much shining through it all

He likes feeling protected by you

It lets him know that you really care about him

And the fact that you can flip from one side to the other is so intriguing to him

In every other situation, you speak softly and gently laugh at the smallest things

But when one bad thing happens, the darkness creeps out

It doesn't freak him out as much as he would have originally thought

He just still can't believe that these sides to you are coming from the same person

Who is he to judge though?

Billy Loomis

Billy was immediately attracted to your warm energy

But he was also hesitant that he would somehow contaminate you with his trauma and dark fantasies

He wanted to keep you as were: the bubbly and happy partner that was always by his side

But when a last minute heist was going wrong, he would have never expected to look over and see you all bloody, a stained knife in your hand and a lifeless body on the floor

When he called your name, all you did was look up at him and smile

Billy just about lost it

He had always thought that he needed to be the one to protect you and himself

But seeing you throw yourself into violence for his sake was absolutely beautiful

He didn't think you'd be capable of something like this

But knowing that you are makes him love you that much more

You're nothing but perfect for him

Stu Macher

He won't say it out loud, but he's the tiniest bit scared of you

Not in a bad way by any means

If anything, he thinks it's sexy

And he can see a bit of familiarity in the way you act too

You both enjoy laughing at stupid things and keeping the energy up when needed

At any given moment, you two are all over each other and smiling so wide that you can feel your cheeks burn

You two make the ultimate power couple

But if someone dares say something bad about you, they're dead the next morning

And if Stu gets hurt by one of his attempted victims, you better believe you'll be there to finish the job

Stu honestly loves how deceiving you can be

No one would ever look at you and expect you to have this darker element

But to be fair, he's in the same boat

No one would ever suspect him of such behavior

And that's probably why you two make the perfect team

Vincent Sinclair

He never thought he'd ever meet some who cared for him the way you do

Especially resorting to violence just to keep him safe

This must be some sort of dream

You practically tore this person to shreds and yet, you're still able to turn back at Vincent and smile sweetly, asking if he's okay

Are you even the same person he was just cuddling with 10 minutes ago?

He worries that you'll get yourself hurt one of these times, so he tries to advise you against doing something like that again

But he won't deny the thrill it gave him seeing you act so... differently

Just please don't step in unless absolutely necessary

If anything happened to you, he wouldn't know what to do

He knows you can clearly take care of yourself, he just doesn't want to risk it

Bo Sinclair

What a precious little thing

It would be a lie to say that Bo wasn't immediately drawn to your softness and positivity

You radiated sunshine, and it was a new experience for him

He has always wanted to be the protector in his relationships

And he truly had no clue that you weren't just another damsel looking to be rescued

He remembers the first time you saved his ass

He turned up to see the man with a metal pipe sticking out of his chest

All the while, you're standing behind him, that sweet little smile still on your face like usual

Bo was at a complete loss for words

He loves this side to you

He still likes to feel all bad and tough

And he loves when you ask him for help and play up the innocence

But when something comes up, he knows he doesn't need to worry about you

[tac-the-unseen]

I love all ur blog sm!! Can I ask abt something with the slashers (specially Thomas <3) with an foreigner!reader that don't quit speak english very well and normally forget words?

(Sorry if something is spelled wrong, English is not my native language lmao)

Absolutely, I can!

And because the request didn't specify, this fic will strictly be about speaking a foreign language.

Sorry if this is inaccurate! I'm a native English speaker and don't know many who aren't. Sorry in advance!!

Slashers x Foreigner!Reader

Micheal Myers:

•This man will act like he doesn't care but in reality he's so intrigued. (It might be why you're still alive) 

•He’ll spend his time watching you practice your pronunciation and recognition patterns, like it's a movie.

•Is he a bit mean about it? Yes. Will he laugh? Probably.

•If you find yourself not knowing what certain words are and stumble around until you find the right word, You'd be surprised at how patient he is. 

•If you are very new to the English language he'll secretly get you flash cards and stash them into a place he knows you'll find them

•Despite everything, if you ask him for help, he will help. He might be mute but he can write and use TV to aid you.

Billy loomis & Stu macher:

•Stu is already romanticizing your language, but instead of using the actual name of your language, he calls it “Talking pretty to me”

•Billy asks if you want any text books or study equipment to help you on your English speaking journey 

•Both boys are a surprising help! Stuttering trying to articulate what you mean? They've already jumped in to, A) help save you some of the embarrassment, and B) give you time to think about what you're trying to say. 

•Someone making fun of you? They're either dead or a social outcast by the end of the week. 

•Are you struggling to remember a certain word? These boys are willing play charades until you figure it out. And they won't drop it either, Stu says ‘It’s bad to give up when you've already come so far.’ 

•Over all it's not so bad (Stu 100,000,000% uses Google translate to figure out how to say ‘i love you�� in your native language) 

Thomas Hewitt:

•When both of you met, he had never met an actual foreigner before.

•He knew people travel around and occasionally some valley girl would end up in their small town, But someone from a whole different part of the world?

•His interest in you spiked the moment he heard your accent 

•Thomas has so many questions but doesn't know how to ask you

•With him being mute and your struggles with English, It's not the easiest relationship. In the end both of you just end up pointing at things and making noises to get your point across. 

•Absolutely loves to listen to you speak in your native language, Even if he'll never understand it. 

•When he's first trying to court you, he leaves you slightly damaged flowers (he struggled to pick them) to communicate his affection. 

•even with a language barrier, he's gonna love you like no one ever could 

Bubba Sawyer:

•He had no idea people outside of America existed 

•When You fell into the palm of Texas and his brothers found you failing to remember the word for your favorite snack, They knew you would be an easy target.

•When they kidnapped you and brought you to the basement so Bubba could chop you up, he was fascinated by the way you desperately tried to beg him not to kill you. 

•It ended in a huge fight in the family, But he got everyone to let you live a bit longer.

•Sits Criss Cross applesauce while you speak for your life. You could babble about anything and he would listen intently. 

•He pulls out his alphabet soup machine and spends hours typing with you. (You help him finally get past the clown level)

Bo Sinclair:

•absolute meanie, stinky poopy head about it >:(

•will mock your stutters and say stuff like “Oh come ON! The word is Cat! C. A. T. CAT! What's so hard about that?” 

•If you speak your native language around him, He thinks you're insulting him or intentionally hiding something. 

•”If you could say it to my face in your language you can say it to my face again in mine!”

•The same sentiment is not shared when it involves bedroom fun

•Will eventually apologize, But that's going to take a while 

Vincent Sinclair:

•As another non-speaking fellow he takes his time to make sure you two can understand each other 

•He’ll mostly use body language and and little doodles to get his point across 

•Stuttering over a word? He doesn't care, he'll let you work it out without any judgment!

•Want his help? He has several books, Vincent will just pull out a book he knows as the word in it, flipped to the page, and point at the word. 

•Love listening to you talk, In English or not. He'll happily let you yap his ear off. 

Lester Sinclair:

•Poor boy was lovestruck when he first heard you talk!

•Full on heart eyes while you explain where you're from and how you ended up here 

•If you end up fumbling on a word he'll start shouting out potential words for what you're trying to say. 

•Example: “and then I had too��uh…um..” “Run? Pee? Eat? Were you hungry? Are you hungry right now?” 

•So helpful, I know

•But the guy is already googling restaurants based off your native cuisine. He's got the date set up. 

•”It's no biggie, I'm a native English speaker and I still can't get it right!” 

Billy Lenz:

•Billy 100% understands the struggle of finding the right word to say 

•He can't stop stuttering himself, so when you start stuttering you kind of reinforce us in his brain that you were meant to be together 

•He feels like he can bond with you over it, and even feel safer around you knowing that you also mess up 

•the thing is if you start stuttering, he'll start stuttering. If you can't get it by God he will.

•”W-we can't bo-oth be wrong.” 

Brahms Heelshire:

•this man will 100% try to learn your language as soon as he finds out you're a foreigner

•That man has a huge library, there's bound to be at least one book written in your mother tongue 

•He spends a lot of time practicing your native language so he can speak to you more comfortably

•You already know he has children's learning books he'll pull out if you ask. 

•Can't find the word you're looking for? He's already 10 books deep, he'll find it for you. 

•Brahms is a well-educated man and he intends to use His years of learning to help 

•If you want to take classes to better your English skills he will 100,000% throw money your way to do so.

Hannibal Lecter:

•Now Hannibal really understands 

•He's a Lithuanian who learned English as a 10 year old

•He didn't struggle as much, But for the first couple of months you bet he was stumbling. 

•If you're struggling with a word, He has a process of teaching you so you don't forget it again. 

1) Identify what you're trying to say 

2)Slowly begin to sound out the word 

3)Have you recite the word a few times 

4)He'll either teaches you a little tune to remember or he'll do something so you remember the moment 

•Does it feel a little condescending? Yes. But it works 

•He's also willing to pour an ungodly amount of money into your English education if you ask 

•He'll even teach you himself in his spare time

Will Graham:

•Doesn't really know what to do, He's a bit awkward about it 

•He'll also identify the word and repeat it a few times so you can get a better handle on it.

•He thinks it's a bit funny and a bit cute when you stutter or mispronounce something 

•He will gently correct you and move on like nothing happened 

The Lost Boys:

•holy fucking shit this is a cluster fuck, let's do this one by one 

•David

-David, having been around a while, has picked up a couple languages.

-If he does know the language you're speaking he'll speak it back to you and guide you into English better than the other boys could 

-If not, he'll just read your mind and tell you what you're trying to say. It's by far the easiest way to articulate what you mean. 

•Dwayne

-Dwayne being just slightly younger than David has also picked up a couple languages 

-It's really the same if he does know your language But with a little more verbal teaching 

-If he doesn't he'll patiently wait until you figure out what you're trying to say. 

•Paul

-as soon as you start to stutter over yourself Paul starts shotgunning words off 

-some slightly related to the situation and others wildly out there 

-”Drink? Food? Ocean? Horse? The unforgiving eyes of God and His kingdom???” 

-he'll do this to confuse you and have a nice laugh 

•Marko

-Marko speaks English and Italian, so if your language isn't one of those two you're kind of shit out of luck 

-”Come on babe, you'll get it” 

-He finds it a bit funny but still tries to help in little ways 

Thanks for reading <3

Sorry if this seems hastily written together, I haven't had the request in a while so I kind of jumped at the opportunity.

[filthyslashertoad]

Slashers (billy and stu) with fem! reader thats scared of spiders (im speaking PANIC), so they always have to take care of it

Oooh ok!

And yes, Hoffman is in here too!

Slashers with an S/O that’s Scared of Spiders

Billy Loomis

Teases you for being scared.

Kills it but gives you shit for being scared of it for weeks.

Tries to scare you by saying "Careful Babe! there's a spider on your shoulder." and laughs when you scream.

Stu Macher

Screams too.

Both of you are huddled up on a chair waiting for Billy to come over and kill the spider.

Squeals when Billy throws it at him after squashing it.

Amanda Young

Doesn't understand why you're scared but catches it in a jar for you and sets it outside.

Asks you if you're ok afterward and brings you some tea so you can relax.

Mark Hoffman

Looks at you like you're crazy.

Kills it and says "You know you're bigger than he is right?"

Secretly loves that he gets to save you from such silly things.

Brahms Heelshire

Is used to seeing spiders all of the time so he isn't phased.

Grabs the spider and puts it on his shoulder. (100% talks to it and asks it to leave you alone)

Makes you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a glass of milk so you feel better.

Patrick Bateman

Says you're embarrassing and that you shouldn't need a man to save you from a small bug.

Gets upset afterward when you stop asking him for help tho.

Jason Voorhees

Is careful not to hurt it and takes it outside to a bush.

When he comes back to the cabin he's holding a few flowers that he made sure were entirely bug-free.

Checks everything in the cabin for you before you go to bed to make sure there are no more spiders.

[unnerving-presence]

Hello! Can i get Albert wesker, Danny Johnson, and Ji-Woon with an S/O who likes to like to try to scare them, even in trials, they will try to find clever ways to scare them for fun, and their reasoning is just like "I love you, but it's funny if I get a reaction"

ofc ! this seems so neat ! first request from coming back from my big ass break hehe

yes i am aware that ghostface gif is not danny and is billy or stu. i just wanted to use a new gif this time :o

➪➪➪➪➪➪➪➪➪➪➪

Albert Wesker:

You will never scare this man.. but he thinks it’s cute when you try anyways.

Acts unamused but you can see the smallest smirk on his face. He can’t help himself sometimes..

“I almost didn’t hear you that time”

He’s a liar. He always hears you.

Scares you in return whether that be intentional or not. Of course he’s quite scary in trials with his quick dashes, but his scariness outside of trials comes from his odd ability to be more seen and not heard. That being said, he can’t even begin to count the amount of times you’ve jumped from him suddenly touching you out of nowhere because you couldn’t hear him coming up from behind you. Like where did he come from. WITCH 🫵🫵🫵

Don’t worry, he only tries to do that.. most of the time. But he most certainly makes up for it with his ramblings he’s saved just for you paired with his soft, subtle touch of his hand on your waist while you walk together.

Danny Johnson:

He probably encourages you to try and scare him. He’ll give you some pointers on how to be extra sneaky. Can’t help showing slight favoritism in trials though. You’re just trying so hard! He can’t help letting you off the hook a few times for trying to learn from him!

Over time you get so good at it that he has to be the one looking over his shoulder. He’ll never forget the time he was so in the moment of stalking a survivor without even knowing you were crouched in the tall grass right next to him. Almost made out with you right then and there for giving him a good scare. You’ve come so far.. he’s so proud 🥹

Might hand you the mask one day and ask you to hunt him down and see how stealthy you can be.

If he doesn’t spot you and you manage to sneak up on him he will both spare you next trial and absolutely go to town on you if he spots you. Best of both worlds >:)

Ji-Woon Hak:

Probably a bit more susceptible to being spooked, even if it’s just his eyes widening ever so slightly because where the hell did you come from.

He pretty quickly catches onto your little game though and makes it his goal to scare you first. You both don’t tend to scare each other much actually. He’s wearing bright clothing and you.. well he just actively searches out for you now. Not like he doesn’t want you to have fun but it’s also pretty funny to see how many times he can spot you trying to spook him.

You probably scare him on accident if anything. You ever play killer and get scared by a survivor popping out that you didn’t even know was there? Yeah that happens to him. Mid chase and boom. Survivor jumpscare. You said you loved him though so. He can’t be too mad that you got a laugh out of it

[slimybeth69]

Such Small Hands

unbeta'ed, cross posted from my ao3.

mean/dark!joelxreader (no physical descriptions girthy age gap--no actual age mentioned but reader could be in her mid twenties- early thirties, no use of y/n. No physical descriptions but reader has an extensive background. Canon to the last 3 episodes of the series.) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, mentions of potential SA, graphic depictions of blood, reader brings up her past and shitty family (if it ain't for you, sorry). This takes place after the events of Crybaby With as much smut as this has, this is an angsty fic and it's building bonds and falling in love (maybe). And Ellie!! Little Baby Ellie is in this one!

Chapter 3- Beg

Chapter List

Ellie walked in front of you and Joel almost the whole morning. Not saying a single fucking word. Which is so unlike the girl. She’s always got something to say. You stop, Joel watches you as you fumble around inside your backpack and find what you’re looking for. 

“Gimmie a minute.” You hobble up to Ellie quickly and reach for her shoulder when she doesn’t answer you.

Once you have your hand on her, she stops and looks back. 

“What?” Ellie sighs softly, looking up at you. Something different in her eyes, she’s a different girl right now, standing in front of you. “What’s up?” She plasters a small smile on her face as she notices you searching in her eyes. “You okay? Is it your leg?” She looks past you to Joel who has sat down on the median. 

“Let’s talk.” You wrap an arm around her shoulders for comfort. Mostly for support because your leg hurts but she helps you limp over to a spot behind an RV left abandoned in the road. 

“What’s there to talk about?” Ellie watches as you ease yourself onto the bumper of the RV. She stands in front of you, with her hands at her sides. Fingers picking at her thumbs. 

“What happened at that place?” You whisper, keeping your voice low so Joel can’t hear. “What really happened?” You eye her knowingly. “You don’t just stab a man seventy-five times in the chest and face for no reason. They would have called that a crime of passion back in my day.” You watch her face and her eye twitches gently and her lip curls. “What made you so passionate?” 

“He didn’t–” She stops herself and looks around the RV to Joel. “He didn’t do what you’re thinking.” She said it hushed. You sigh with relief. “He tried. He almost did.” Ellie’s voice starts to quiver. “He was on top of m-me and he was so h-heavy.” She starts to weep. You push yourself off the RV bumper and wrap your arms around her. 

“Shhhh it’s okay. It’s alright. You killed that cuck weirdo.” You whisper, holding her close to you. Joel comes around the corner but you wave him away wildly. “You fucking did it.” You encourage her. “You did it all by yourself and you fucking saved me.” You chuckle as she sobs into your chest. 

“I was so scared.” Ellie is ignoring your kind words of encouragement. “So fu-fucking scared. I thought he-he-he was g-g-gonna-” You pull her face into your chest and hold her there, letting her sob. The compact in your hand shines in the light. You look at it for a long time as she wraps her arms around your waist. 

“Shshshhh. You’re here with Joel again and everything’s gonna be okay.” You whisper down to her. “It’s all gonna be alright.” Now you have to try and tell her about the hospital and the doctors and what you think they have planned for her. “C’mon. Breathe and come sit with me.” You pull her back, further away from the camper that Joel climbed inside. 

“I’m so stu-” You stop Ellie from finishing her sentence as you pull her down to the ground with you. It’s nice to take some weight off your leg and relax. You’ve been on the move since before the sun came up.

“Don’t fuckin’ say it.” You hold a finger up to her. “Not stupid.” You grimace as you adjust your leg so it’s not pressed into the pavement as hard. “I have to talk to you. And I just want you to be honest with me, okay? Don’t tell me what you think me or Joel want to hear. Okay?” It’s impossible to not want her to be safe. Ellie is just a girl. Just like you were once. 

“Okay?” Ellie’s confused. Doesn’t understand why you’ve pulled her away from Joel and need privacy. 

“Who told you about this hospital?” You ask. Her eyes widened. “I made Joel tell me what you guys were doing out here. I told him I’d leave if he didn’t tell me.” You explain. Her eyes stay wide. “Who told you about it?” You ask again. Ellie stays quiet for a long time.

“Marlene. She’s the one who took care of me.” Ellie explains finally like she decided that you’re okay and can be trusted. “She told me about the hospital. About the cure.” You nod at her and chew at the inside of your lip. “She said if I can get there, the doctors might be able to find a cure. I could help fix all this.” You keep nodding.

“How do you think a cure gets made, El?” It’s a tiptoed-around explanation for why you split up from Joel. She shrugs and thinks for a while. 

“Probably my blood or something like that?” She questions you. You can’t look at her, it’s too hard. 

“Yeah, probably with your blood. Yeah.” You nod and finally look at her. Ellie is hanging on every word you say. “I don’t think…” You trail off because it’s so hard to tell her. “I don’t think they’d be very nice…to you. If you go there. I don’t know how cures get made, but I do know how they have to look for diseases in your brain. At least I think I do.” Ellie is watching you so intently. “You just need to know what you could be walking into. You go there and if you decide that you don’t want to help the cause like you think you do right now, they might not let you leave, Ellie.” 

Ellie stares at you for what feels like an hour. You think it might have been an hour the way Joel kept clearing his throat from behind you. You’d put your hand behind your back and wave him off each time. Ellie just looked at you. Eyes big and bright. Something new was in them now, something that hadn’t been there before you let her ride off on that horse. It wasn’t fear, it was understanding. Like she really knew what you had warned her about now.

“I…I think I still want to go.” She whispered after a moment. You nod and put your hand on her shoulder. 

“If that’s what you want, yes, Joel and I will take you there. We’ll stay until we know you’re going to be okay. If you want to leave we will leave. Ok?” You squeeze her shoulder gently. She starts to say something but stops herself. You give her another squeeze. “Go ahead, what’s up? Let’s talk now before we walk into something with no plan.” You still have your hand on her shoulder. 

“What if they don’t let me leave?” It's said so small and so quietly you almost had said ‘what?’ but then it clicked in your head. 

“Not gonna happen. Joel won’t let it. I won’t let it. If you want to leave…you get to leave. Sound good?” You nod at Ellie for confirmation. She nods back softly. “Good. Here you go, turd .” You hand the compact to her. “Now you can look at that pretty face all day long. Just keep your grubby hands off my stuff.” You try to stand but your leg is on fire. Ellie jumps to her feet and tries to help you up but her hand slips–she’s still holding the compact– and you fall back on your ass softly. 

“Alright, idiot brigade. I got it.” Joel huffs as he jogs to the two of you. “Ready?” You nod up at him as he heaves you to your one good leg. “You both good now? I found this in the RV. Have either of you ever seen this?” Joel holds up a game of Sorry. 

“I will beat both of your asses so fucking bad at Sorry.” You turn so Joel can toss everything but the box inside your duffle bag. You’ll sort it all out later. The box is too big. Too noisy. 

“I’ve never played it,” Ellie says as you guys start walking again. Joel’s got his arm around your waist, letting you put your weight on him as needed as you try to hobble along without his assistance. It’s hard though, everything below your knee on your right leg feels like it’s consistently being stung by wasps—every inch of it. You try to not let it show because you don’t want to make Ellie feel worse than she already does. 

“Okay then.” Joel smiles down at Ellie. “We’ll get our asses beat by crybaby over here tonight after we find a place to sleep.” You shoot a glance up at Joel when he calls you that. 

“Hey! I stabbed her in the leg. She can be a crybaby if she wants.” Ellie starts to defend you but you wave your hand at her. “No, that was so mean. He should be apologizing right now .” Ellie growls at him like it’s a demand she’s making. 

“Sorry,” Joel smirks down at you. “No more name-calling.”

Joel and Ellie sat on their side of the game board that night and you explained to Ellie how the rules worked. Joel eyed you the entire time, you could feel his eyes on you sometimes while you talked to the teenager. 

“Ones and twos get you out of start” You slide your little plastic red piece out of the start circle. “Sorry’s let you take any piece you have in your start base out and take the place of another player and then you send them back to the start.” You smirk at Ellie. “If you land on another persons piece, they get sent back to the start.” You slap Ellie’s piece off the board with yours. “If you get all your pieces at home you win.” There are more rules but you’ll go over them as they come up. The next two hours are spent around a small fire Joel made in a fireplace in the house you guys found. It’s warm and comfortable. You can’t remember a time you laughed this hard watching Ellie’s face when Joel sent her last piece right back to start as she was about to win. 

“Sorry kid,” Joel said so unapologetically as he slid her piece back into the start circle. Ellie watched with her big brown eyes like she couldn’t believe that he would do that to her. “You’re the only one out, she’s got all her pieces in home or still in the start space!” He exclaims, pointing to you. “You’re the only one!” Joel laughs as he slides his piece to where hers had been. 

“Oh sure, let your girlfriend win. I see how it is.” Ellie sasses with a smirk on her face. “Lame. You’re both lame.” She had been sitting on her knees and now she sits back on her ass and looks over at you. “Did you play this a lot as a kid?” She asks, watching you pull another card from the pile. You can do nothing with it. 

“I used to when I was really little with my brother and sister.” You feel Ellie’s eyes snap up to you. “Then my brother went off to the military and my sister went to college and I didn’t get to play Sorry again.” You sigh. You never saw either of them again after they left. Your brother called and said things were getting pretty bad and that the three of you should wait for your sister and then head out of Jersey as soon as you could. Get somewhere secluded. Your sister never made it home before the full outbreak happened. 

“Did they–” Ellie starts but you just shake your head. She stops and watches as Joel pulls a card and moves three spaces. Ellie pulls a card. “What was highschool like? I’ve heard stories about it, was it like a university?” She’s so curious, it’s adorable. You shake your head at her. 

“No, high school wasn’t like a university. Kind of… You had classes in different rooms of a big giant school. You’d march down the hallway with everyone else in between the classes and talk with your friends and if you had one, sneak into the stairs to make out with your boyfriend or girlfriend.” You try to hold back a smile as the memory floods back to you. “Yeah, that was the best part. The stairs–”

“Alright, enough of that.” Joel shakes his head. “She’s fourteen–” 

“Exactly and if we weren’t in this situation I know she’d have four of five people lined up in the hallway waiting their turn!” You exclaim quietly. Ellie presses her lips together tightly and tries to hold back a smile. “She’s fourteen. It’s normal to think about that stuff. I was thinking about way more than–” Joel clears his throat and you have to laugh when you look at Ellie who is still smirking with her big eyes. You mouth to her, ‘so much more’. 

Joel gives your good leg a tap and eyes you. You stick your tongue out at him and lay back on the floor, the game of sorry completely forgotten about. You wonder what Ellie would be like if she wasn’t stuck in this fucking place. Would you two go shopping for clothes and makeup? You could have taken her to your mom’s salon to get her hair done. It makes you sad thinking it’ll never happen. 

“Has anyone ever given you a haircut?” You look back at Ellie and she nods. 

“Joel’s brother's wife gave me one before we left the community,” Ellie explains, holding the end of her ponytail up for you to see. You nod at her, satisfied with the answer. “My first one in a long time. Maybe forever.” Ellie looks at the end of her ponytail now. 

“Whenever you want another, just let me know.” You look at Joel now. “You too. I’ll do both of your guys’ hair if you want me to.” 

“Did your mom teach you?” Ellie asks curiously. You shake your head. 

“No. She didn’t let me touch scissors.” You explained. “I wouldn’t be able to learn until I went to cos classes.” You sigh.

“ Cos classes?” Ellie asks confused. You laugh and lean up on your elbows. 

“Cosmetology Classes. School. It’s hair school.” You explain. “My mom just always called it ‘cos classes’ you say in your best Jersey mom accent. Joel laughs when you do it. Ellie does too. 

“That’s what she sounded like?” Ellie keeps a smile on her face. You nod exaggeratedly and the accent that sits right under your tongue at all times comes back easily. 

“Oh of course. We all did.” The vowels are long and drawn out. It comes out ‘ O awve caws. Wee’awl did’. Ellie laughs at you again. You smirk and put the accent back under your tongue. You save it for moments like this or when you’re really angry. Like when you stood outside the garage yelling at Joel. It had come out then too. Just a little. 

“You didn’t talk like that.” Ellie is shaking her head at you. You nod again and think about how annoying you and your loud friends probably were at the malls and the movie theaters. But you were just one group of girls amongst thousands of groups of teenage Jersey girls and you all were annoying at fourteen-fifteen years old. Most kids are. 

“I sure did and my boyfriend used to talk like that too! I used to date a guy who talked like that all the time and I loved it!” You exclaim to her with a smile on your face. “My friends used to talk like that and my mom and aunts! What’s so hard to believe about that?” You let the accent come out a little again. 

“I don’t know how any of your guys understood each other.” Ellie laughs and pulls one knee to her chest. “Were you in love with your boyfriend?” Ellie shoots her eyes to you and then to Joel. You don’t look over at him before you answer. 

“I think I was, yeah. At fifteen, almost sixteen–yeah. I was.” You think back on him fondly. “He was a good kid. He was really nice to me. Really sweet. A real good guy–he would have been a good guy, eventually.” You stumble over it because you don’t know what happened to him. “I never told him though. I was too scared.” You lay back on the floor and rest your hands under your head. “Have you ever been in love?” You turn your head to look at Ellie. She doesn’t say anything for a while. 

“I think so. Yeah.” She doesn’t say anything else. She’s not as forthcoming with information as you are. It’s been a while since you’ve talked to people this way and it’s nice. You have nothing to hide.

“Was she nice?” You ask softly. Ellie just nods. You don’t push it anymore. 

Ellie looks at Joel now and it’s like he can sense it’s coming because he sighs so loud it scares you. You lean up on your elbow again and watch as she asks him what you think she’s about to ask him. 

“Were you in love? Or was it just you and Sarah?” Joel's eyes flick to you for a nanosecond and then he’s looking back at Ellie. Who the hell is Sarah? 

“For a while, yeah. I was.” Joel explains. You know that Joel wishes you weren’t here for this. You and Joel don’t get personal. That wasn’t part of this deal; you might get personal with him but he doesn’t get personal with you. Never has. And that was fine with you. It’s not like this man was going to be your forever. It’s definitely better than sitting in that cabin in the woods alone all the time like you used to, but definitely not your forever.

“What happened?” Ellie pushes him which is bold since she’s so withholding of her own information. Joel’s eyes flick back to you for a moment and then he looks back at Ellie. You want to tell him to keep his eyes away from you like that. It makes you nervous when he does it like he doesn’t trust you sitting off to the side of him the way you are. What are you gonna do? Hit him for having a life before the outbreak when you were fifteen? No. You’re not like that. 

“She left. Left me with Sarah when she was just a baby.” 

Oh…that fuckin’ sucks. 

“How old was Sarah when she left?” You blurt the question out. “I’m sorry.” Joel sighs and looks at you now. 

“Sarah was four months old when my wife left.” Joel looks pained when he speaks. “She was twelve when the outbreak happened.” 

Oh shit. Joel had a daughter. The fact that he has never talked about you doesn’t shock you, Joel has told you maybe seven personal things and one of those things was his name, so. You’re still learning, nothing comes as a shock to you anymore though. 

“I’m sorry.” Ellie whispers, “We don’t have to talk about it.” Joel shakes his head and starts to pack up the board game. You give him your bag to sort it all away. 

“It’s okay. Can’t go the rest of my life not talking about her.” Joel whispers. “It is getting late and we have to be up early so let’s all get to bed. Sleepers tonight in the living room by the fire.” Joel gives the order and you and Ellie start moving furniture around the fireplace. Ellie snuggles up on the couch. You lay your sleeper out and then tell Joel you have to change the dressing on your leg before bed. He offers to help. 

You two go into the secluded room towards the back of the house, it’s not as warm or as light but you hold the flashlight as Joel unwraps your calf. 

“This is bad.” Joel looks at you as you inspect the stab wound on your leg. “It’s probably infected.” Joel sets his fingers around the outside of the open flesh and doesn’t even need to apply any pressure before you’re whimpering and trying to crawl away in pain. Joel rips his hand away and holds on to your wrist. “It’s hot. Very hot. I’m surprised you can walk on it.”

“Don’t touch it again. Just wrap it back up.” You whimper as he goes into his bag for the supplies. This was not great. Definitely not something you wanted to be happening but it was alright. You guys were going to a hospital. You’d get fixed right up. 

“You have to let me inject you with some antibiotics. I cleaned the needle, I know it freaks you out but you’re gonna lose your damn leg, or worse.” Joel warns as he pulls the bottle of clear liquid from his first aid kit. 

“Ughhhh. How do you know it’s clean enough?” You groan and let your head lean back against the hardwood floor behind you. 

“Well… I don’t, but it’s better to put the antibiotics in you than not.” 

“I don’t really think that medical professionals would agree with you on that but alright fine. I don’t want it to go septic.” You don’t. That’s how your dad died and it was horrible. You’d shoot yourself before you got that bad; astonished your dad didn’t.

“Good thing they’re not here.” Joel gives you a shot of medicine right near the gash in your calf. You think you’re going to bite right through your tongue when he does it. It elicits the most disgusting groan you’ve ever let come out of you. It's a cross between a groan and a cry for help and a wheeze like the wind just got knocked out of you. 

“ Je-sus Christ.” You pant as he withdraws the needle. You were clenching your fist together so tightly your fingernails dug into the skin on your palm so hard you have indents. 

“Did good, little bird.” Joel comforts you as he cleans the wound with alcohol. That hurts worse. It does make you cry out in pain softly. “It’s okay. It’s almost over. Then I’ll make you feel real good.” Joel speaks under his breath as he wraps your leg in new gauze and tapes it up carefully. You whimper and tremble underneath his touch the entire time. 

“Okay, the feel-good part now -please.” You let your legs fall apart and Joel is quick to plant himself between them. His mouth finds your pussy like he’s hungry for it. He hasn’t done it since the last night in your cabin. Your hand turns the flashlight off, lets it fall to the floor quietly and it finds his hair. “Yes.” You whisper softly. 

Joel’s tongue is already working slow oblong shapes around your clit. Fuck it feels so good. Every bad feeling you’ve ever felt leaves your body as Joel moans softly against your pussy. His facial hair tickles your thighs and mound as he works his tongue against you slowly. He wants you to feel good and you can in the way he’s taking his time on you. 

“Perfect slutty cunt.” Joel growls against your folds as he lays down directly on the floor between your legs so he’s not hunched over. “I fucking love eating it.” You let him talk because you cannot find the strength in you to tell him to shut up and just put his mouth back on you. Joel doesn’t need to be told, he returns to your middle and laps at you hungrily. Force behind his tongue as he circled it around your clit.

Joel snakes his arms around your thighs gingerly and spreads them a little further apart. His mouth wraps around your clit and sucks as his tongue flicks. You have to put one hand over your mouth to not cry out at how wonderful it feels. You can feel Joel smile against you. 

“You want it inside you?” He growls. You can hear him already unfastening his belt and you’re just confused because he hasn’t even made you come yet, and that’s just not how Joel works. If he eats you out…he makes you come. You whimper as he returns to you. “It’s just too fucking good tonight, I need it now.” His voice is husky with lust and it makes you throb as he laps his tongue against you again. “So fucking bad. Been thinkin’ about it all fuckin’ day. Holding on to you. Touching you all fucking day.” He groans from somewhere deep inside him like it’s been paining him to touch you without being able to be inside you. That makes you throb harder as he slides two fingers inside you. 

“Fuck.” You whisper as he curls his fingers. “Yes, put it inside me.” It’s fine. You don’t care, you’re here for this reason and you know that it’s going to be good, he just got you warmed up. Joel doesn’t hesitate and is up between your legs undoing his belt. He leans over you and presses the weight of him into your chest– You hate it. You want him off of you and out from between your legs. Something is wrong and you don’t like this feeling. Joel can’t sense this yet and tries to kiss you but you turn your head away from him. 

“What? You don’t wan-”

“Get off me.” It’s short and you have your hands on his shoulders and you’re trying desperately to get this man off you. Joel looks down at you with confusion all over his face. You’re in fight or flight mode now. You push Joel harder and start to squirm and wriggle underneath him. Joel shoots up and the minute your legs aren’t being forced apart by his hips and his weight is off your chest you feel fine. Everything is okay and you don’t know why you were freaking out. 

“Are you…okay? Did I hurt you?” Joel asks as you lean up on your elbows. He looks so concerned and also a little puzzled still, he’s just as confused about your reaction as you are. You look up at him probably with the same exact puzzled and concerned face. He starts to check your leg. 

“Yeah–no. Yes, I’m fine. No, you weren’t hurting me.” You sigh and lay back down on the floor. You’re frustrated because you do want Joel inside of you, even now you’re still aching for him. “Can you just flip me over?” You start to turn over onto your stomach but Joel stops you and raises an eyebrow. 

“You sure?” He doesn’t sound convinced. You nod and continue onto your belly. You bend your knees, even though it hurts, and arch your back for him. You can still feel him hesitating as he puts his hands on your ass. You look back at him over your shoulder. 

“I’m fine. I mean it. Please.” You wiggle your hips against him, “I need you.” You can feel Joel place himself between your legs again, just from behind and nothing bad happens. You let out a small sigh of relief as he starts to rub the head of himself against you. That feels good. Very good. You push back against him a little and you hear him sigh. He’s stroking himself behind you, getting himself ready again.

“You want it?” Joel growls, he’s got his bedroom voice back. You nod and he slips it inside of you. It fills you quickly and knocks the air out of you. It feels so good as he slides out of you slowly and then drives himself back into you quickly, bringing your hips back to meet his.

“Yes. Yes.” You whisper to yourself as you try to arch your back more dramatically, opening yourself up a little more to him. You rest your forehead on your hands on the floor. 

“Slutty lil crybaby like this?” His voice is hushed but still humiliating. “You like when I fuck you like this?” You groan softly as he sheathes himself fully again and grips your asscheeks tightly. “I like to fuck you like this. Look at this perfect fucking asshole while I’m inside you.” Joel reaches forward and grabs a handful of your hair. He pulls you back gently, holding your head back, thrusting himself inside of you quickly. Your wet smacking skin loudly slaps together and his belt jingles with each thrust. 

“I love it.” You whine in this not-super-comfortable position, but it’ll do. You can feel him already working on pumping that little ball of energy more full each time he drags his cock along your walls. “Please make me come.” You whisper. You need release, as good as he’s making you feel you’re still in pain and this new position doesn’t help your leg at all. You’re dying for something to make you forget about it. 

“Oh lil crybaby wants to come? How bad?” Joel growls quietly, his fingers grip your hair tighter. “Beg me for it.” Joel rams himself inside of you and holds you against him so you can’t pull away and then push back against him. “Beg. I wanna hear it.” Joel’s voice is like country road gravel. It's so rough. You love it. You try to pull away from him but his hips follow yours and he drags you back into him. “No no, little bird. You have to beg. Then you can make yourself come.” 

A groan escapes your lips and Joel brings his hand down hard onto the soft flesh of your ass. It makes you yelp quietly. He does it again. 

“Don’t fuckin’ complain. Who are you? Just a slutty lil crybaby who’s hungry for what?” Joel pulls back on your hair a little tighter. “Say it, what are you hungry for?” You smirk and instead of pulling away you grind your hips against his in a small circle. It makes him groan quietly from behind you. Another hard, loud smack on your ass. “Say it.” 

“Cock. I’m h-hungry for c-cock.” You moan, his hips start to move in a similar motion to yours but in the opposite direction. The length of his cock moves and rubs against your slick walls. Sliding around easily inside of you. “I want to come so bad, Joel please.” You start to beg him for release, you need it so badly. “I’ll do anything for it. Please spank me again.” You push back into him and moan loudly as he somehow pushes deeper inside of you. Joel gives you what you asked for. You can feel the red hot handprint already forming after the crack of his hand on your ass filled the room. 

“Don’t stop.” Joel breathes out as he begins thrusting inside of you again, more force behind the, quicker now. The ridge of his cock rakes along the walls of your cunt as he does it. It’s going to make you come before you can finish. You try and strain the words out for him before he can do it to you.

“Please Joel I want to come on your cock so b-bad. P-please l-l…et me come on it. Please spank me again, Joel.” You're so pleased with yourself that you got all those words out before you came. Joel’s thrusts become more staggered and messy, it doesn’t matter, you’re right there and he sends you over the edge. Your walls clench around him and he releases his grip in your hair, that hand frantically grips your hips and pulls you down onto him. 

You’re fighting with Joel for who can do what. You want to keep going, Joel wants to hold you down. You whine loudly and Joel keeps thrusting into you, moaning breathlessly from behind you as he draws the rest of your orgasm out of you. 

“ Thank you.” You moan quietly.

Clicking. 

Joel is out of you and on his feet, holding his belt buckle in his hands to silence it. You lay on the ground with your hand over your mouth. 

No fucking way you guys are really getting stalked by a clicker right now with your fucking pants down. Literally. You are still face down, ass up and you’ve got one shoe on. One of your pant legs is still on, the other is dangling around by your ankle with its twin! Joel presses his fingers into the soft skin of your ass to steady himself. You both stay as still and as quiet as you possibly can trying to hear where it’s coming from. The three of you are all on the first floor. Windows and doors were locked. You were just in a room off the back of the house that had a door you could shut. 

You guys got too comfortable. The thought was going through your head when Joel spanked you for the third time that you were both being too loud and needed to quiet down but everything just felt too good. You don’t hear it again but you both definitely heard it the first time. Joel still hasn’t moved so neither do you. 

Very faintly you can hear it. It’s not as close to the house anymore but is still nearby in the neighborhood. This means you’d have to switch off keeping watch while the other slept. It made you sad. You were excited to snuggle up into your sleeper beside Joel’s. You two had even set them up next to each other which had never happened before. The clicking grows fainter. It’s still too scary to move. You don’t think you’ve taken a breath since you heard it originally. You exhale silently. You inhale just as quietly. You’re panting. You had been holding your breath. 

“Ok.” Joel almost mouths to you. It’s just breath, practically no sound. You hear him very carefully fumble with his belt buckle. You start working on getting your own pants on. You put your other shoe back on.

“Throw it away.” You mouth, nodding down to the belt buckle he’s still working on silently. He shakes his head and quietly opens the door of the room you were in. Ellie is sitting up on the couch. 

“Did you hear it too?” She too almost breathes it out. 

You’re worried what else Ellie could have heard if he could hear the clicking. You and Joel have to be more careful. Less senseless. This whole situation was uncomfortable. Ellie. The clicker. Nope. 

Joel offered to do the first watch after Ellie lay back down on the couch. After she fell asleep he rubbed your back gently. 

“You good?” He whispered when you turned in your sleeping bag to look at him. You give him a raised eyebrow. “Your lil freakout. You ok? What was that?” Joel still sounds concerned. You have to think why you felt that way. You’re not entirely sure. 

“I don’t know. I’m fine. I feel fine. I obviously didn’t want you to stop. Just didn’t like my legs being spread open like that. We don’t normally do that.” You’re not lying. You’ve maybe done that position once or twice in the old place but that involved taking your pants all the way off and to do that you had to take your boots off. It was a whole ordeal “I don’t know. We just won’t do that again.” You keep whispering as quietly as you can. 

“What if I wanted to kiss you?” Joel furrows his eyebrows. You have to hold your lips in your hand to stop a laugh. 

“Do you mean spit into my mouth?” You whisper even quieter than you thought you could. “You never kiss me during. Weirdo.” You roll over in your sleeper and let Joel continue to rub your back because it does feel good. You don’t know if you’ll actually sleep tonight. Your leg is on fire and you’re freaked out by that clicker being so close. Joel lulls you to sleep through eventually. He doesn’t wake you up either for your shift.

[woodsborostabathon]

my scream friend group sexuality HCs

for 1996, 4, 2022, and vi.

did elaborate bc i just can’t make myself be a no nuance kinda gal. it’s all very silly goofy but true! i may do another follow up w the friends from 2 & some of the other charas i left out... we shall see.

scream (1996) friend group

billy loomis: heteroflexible. he is 99.999% straight. almost aggressively so. he has one exception tho and he is literally also in this image. otherwise, his lean is primarily towards chicks. he is also NOT admitting to literally any of that.

sidney prescott: heteroflexible. has an incredibly straight vibe in the later films, but also seems the type that could've experimented in college. i mean. have you seen her in 2. primarily into men but i don't think she'd be opposed to being w the right chick.

stu macher: bisexual. this is so easy i ain't even have to think about it. again Have You Seen Him. just bi as hell and he wants billy so bad it makes him look stupi-

tatum riley: bisexual. more so with a male lean. would probably id as straight in hs but have figured it out around college age if she'd made it that far <//3 her and stu's bi4bi slay kind of everything.

randy meeks: straight and he is NOT an ally. idt he's incredibly homophobic i just think he does Not care. either way he gets zero play anyways so...

scre4m (2011) friend group

robbie mercer: straight ally. he simply has not ever had a girlfriend bc he cannot pull to save his life. and speaking of saving his life, i don't at all think that him saying he's gay ("if it helps?") while he was literally getting jumped counts as a legitimate coming out. he was literally tryna use the 'rules' they were yapping abt at cinema club to save his own skin. bffr. he's obnoxious (affectionate) to women in a way ONLY an earnest straight boy w no game could be.

charlie walker: straight. again idt he's an ally but i also don't think he's necessarily homophobic. not in any serious way at least bc i do think he would get so genuinely offended at being insinuated to be anything else bc that is gonna ruin his (already nonexistent) rep w the hoes!!! i just think he does not think abt The Gays often bc he kinda got a lot going on + he's a nerdy dude (who wishes so badly he wasn't) from a small town in 2011.

olivia morris: straight and not even remotely an ally. might ACTUALLY be legitimately homophobic. seems the type to assume any girl who comes out to her as lesbian/bi has a crush on her. she literally called robbie 'closet boy' in the og script for scre4m so there's just no other way around it. she's Not Too Fond Of The Gays...

kirby reed: bisexual. i feel like i don't even really have to elaborate because i mean... look at her? idt she was particularly out about it at the time (see one of her closest friends above and her bestie at the end of this section 💀) but i also don't think she'd go out of her way to be closeted/pretend she's fully straight. was most def out by vi like YEARS before then.

trevor sheldon: straight, not an ally. again not from any real malice, more so ignorance. ignorance of not only lgbtq issues but of everything. like just in general. there was not much going on in that boy's head. just yearning for his ex and vibes. he's not really thinking abt anything beyond that, gay rights included.

jill roberts: straight and not an ally. definitely worse than olivia. she'd actively make a big deal out of acting disgusted n gossiping abt anyone who seems even Remotely not 100% straight. definitely would use gay as an insult. she's a natural born hater so are we really surprised.

scream (2022) friend group (+vince. i fw him)

amber freeman: aromantic lesbian. she may get freaky w girls but she will be damned if she falls in love w one. i fear that is the (1) dawg she do not got in her. this is not all contradictory to me shipping her w richie, mind you, because i fully think amber was scamming him from the get go. banging the stab shrine man for stab merch if you will. let lesbians lie and scam and be ghostface and evil!

tara carpenter: lesbian or bisexual? the one chara i kinda can't pin down bc tbh hell if i know. it really depends on the day imho. all i know is that tara is a girlkisser. whether or not that's exclusive is entirely up in the air. i think she's closer to bi in the films themselves, but i also interpret her as lesbian for sm AUs atp. so it truly is either or bc either direction works. nuance/i'm bald/etc.

sam carpenter: bisexual. of the variety where her taste in women isn't bad in the slightest, but her taste in men is unspeakably cursed. i think it's even either way, it's just entirely luck of the draw that she's ended up with more men than women. sometimes you have awful taste in dudes bc ur fighting demons (ur yassified ghost serial killer dad who lives in ur head) okay.

richie kirsch: straight and not an ally. idt he's really homophobic, he just wouldn't really 'get' it. also does not conflict w my other HCs for him because i think he is just an opportunist. his interest is 100% in chicks, he's just also a horndog and so if the chance presents itself... eh! doesn't mean he has any genuine interest in guys, though. def would not seriously date one. a body's a body n that's abt it.

chad meeks-martin: heteroflexible. in a very andrew garfield sort of way. mostly into girls and pretty much exclusively dates them, but he is nothing if not open-minded! another situation of 'it would just have to be the right dude'. idt he quite has the terminology for it but i think he knows his own deal.

liv mckenzie: bisexual. most likely has a male lean, IDs as fully straight because she has not put it together yet. she genuinely thinks it's just a normal thing that every girl has wanted to kiss another girl before. no biggie. even outside of my own oc x canon stuff w her, i fear she'd still be the type to have to figure it out by accidentally ending up in a horribly messy wlw situationship later on. god bless her.

wes hicks: straight but absolutely an ally. #lesbiansforwes or wtv. just has the misfortune of never ever pulling & catching feelings for gay girls w/o knowing it. not straight in an aggressive way bc he is a Woman Respecter but still so OBVIOUSLY just het thru and thru.

mindy meeks-martin: okay. well. she is just canonically a lesbian, so i really don't have much to say beyond that. she's gay and i'll believe it.

vince schneider: actually aggressively straight. not an ally. would make some Questionable Comments, is probably only really cool w fruity women unless one starts smth w him n then that's out the window. don't think he generally thinks about gay people much beyond They Exist unless it comes up in whatever bs he gets himself into. in which case, refer to the sentence before that one... yeah.

scream vi (2023) friend group

anika kayoko: lesbian. again just canonically, so i really have nothing to say there. good for you babygirl until it WASN'T...

quinn bailey: bisexual. i think this is just another obvious one. no way is she 100% straight. granted, i think she also mostly leans towards men. it's probably, like, 80:20. but she's still not not also into women. i mean. come on.

ethan landry: straight ally. nothing against the gays (even if some of them aka mindy Annoy him. god bless.) honestly, less fully straight than he is specifically a 'one girl only' fiender but... i shan't continue to speak on that. also, same case as richie in that it doesn't conflict w my other HCs wrt him simply for the fact that genuine attraction towards other dudes was never even remotely a factor there LMAO.

danny brackett: straight ally. he also has an aggressively straight aura like there's just no way i can see him as anything else. feels like the kinda straight man that would have/at one point did greatly enjoy fast & furious like yk. That subgenre of straight dude. nothing against the gays tho + his shawty bisexual so he literally has no room to be. idt he's a hater like that.

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Film Studies Slashers Part One

Mickey Altieri x Reader

Words: 2839

Summary: With her revenge plot foiled by campus killers beating her to the punch, the reader investigates the killings only to find that her boyfriend is one of the murderers. This proves to be rather useful in her mission to kill Gale Weathers… until Mickey’s partner takes matters into her own hands. 

Notes: Listen… I’m just going to leave this here. Judge me if you will, but remember that this is Timothy Olyphant and the man is beautiful. Plus, Mickey is one of the best Ghostfaces. I’m obviously tweaking some things, but I’m not gonna lie, I actually hate Gale so I was okay writing the reader hating her. I’m going to have to do some tweaking with which is which Ghostface in certain scenes, but I’ll try to make it make sense. I don’t know how much of this I’ll get done, but it’s honestly a blast to write. (I also have a finished Mickey fluff so keep an eye out for that) Happy Halloween! 

-

The campus was dead. Pardon the pun, of course, but there was no other way to describe it. With everyone terrified of the killer, going out at night was out of the question for most of the student body. 

You hoped he found you. This fucker was stealing your thunder and you were pissed as hell. You had spent too many years sucking up to Sidney fucking Prescott to have your revenge stolen by some Stu Macher wannabe. 

Granted, your plan also involved some significant stabbing, but you needed to make sure that this new guy didn’t beat you to the punch. Whoever it was. 

“You shouldn’t be out here by yourself, you know,” a voice whispered from the dark. “You never know what kind of weirdos come out at night.” 

“Other than you, you mean?” You snarked back, leaning against the streetlamp you stood under. 

Mickey stepped into the light. A sly smile spread across his lips.

“Says the one wandering around in the dark armed with…” he reached into your satchel with one hand and ran a finger up your arm with the other, making you shiver. Mickey pulled out your notebook and flipped through the pages. 

You winced as his eyes scanned your notes on all of the killings, including pictures of all of the victims so far. 

He cocked a brow. “Maybe I should be worried for my own safety. Tell me, Y/N.” He held up your page with a picture of Sidney. “Are you the killer?” 

You snatched the notebook back. “Very funny, asshole.” 

“I’m being totally serious. That is like Serial Killer 101. You should know, Little Miss Legal Studies,” Mickey teased.

You took a step toward him, looking up at him through your lashes with a darkened gaze. 

“I guess that means you should start running, huh?”

He returned your stare, eyes bright and challenging. He put his hands on your shoulders and crashed his lips against yours. You wasted no time either, fingers lacing through his dark hair and deepening the kiss until you forgot where you were. You forgot about the killer. You forgot about Woodsboro. Most of all, you forgot about Gale Weathers. 

“What are you thinking about?” He muttered against the skin of your jaw. 

You poked his side. “Stabbing and death,” you teased. “You?”

His mouth opened in mock surprise and spoke with a sing-song tone. “Would you believe me if I said the same thing?” 

You laughed, shaking your head. 

“We are seriously fucked up, huh?” You laced your fingers through his and started walking back down the path. 

“But that’s why we work so well.” 

Mickey twirled you around, pulling you into his arms again to bury his face in your neck, playfully nipping. 

“We have to get to that stupid party,” you said, pulling away again.

He pouted. 

You rolled your eyes. “I promised Sidney I’d save her from the sorority swarm.” 

“You don’t even like her.”

“I do too.”

“No, you don’t,” he argued, tone still teasing. “And you’ve never actually told me why.” He tried to urge you back to him, but you resisted, a darkness suddenly settling over you. 

“It’s a long story,” you said. 

He held up his hands innocently. “Okay.” His head tilted in curiosity, but he didn’t press the issue. 

“We really should get going”

“Actually,” he clapped his hands together, “I will catch up with you.” You opened your mouth to protest. “I know, I know, but I promise I’ll be quick. I just have this project I have to finish up for class first.”

“Since when do you care about homework?”

“Babe,” he smiled, “it’s for film theory.”

You crossed your arms, frowning. You already weren’t looking forward to this fucking mixer and you certainly weren’t looking forward to going without your usual partner in crime. Mickey wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close, kissing you in between every word. 

“I. Will. Be. Right. There,” he promised. “And then we can make fun of every shitfaced frat boy there.” 

You sighed dramatically. “Fine. But I’m getting drunk without you.” 

“Fair enough.” He kissed you one more time. “I’ll see you there.” 

He went back toward his dorm, you went to the sorority house, both of you taking different paths into the night. 

-

If one more preppy girl came up to you with her stupid smile and her stupid small talk and a stupid sweater tied around her stupid neck, you were going to use that sweater to strangle her. 

Two of them were talking to Sidney, who kept looking at you to save her. 

You gave her an encouraging thumbs up and downed the rest of your drink. You weren’t sure what was in it, but it was sure working. 

“Empire Strikes Back.” A familiarly smug voice said across the yard. “It was a better story, improved effects.”

You looked up, finding Randy talking to your oh-so-late boyfriend. Now that was a blue sweater you wanted nothing more than to rip off. 

“Not a sequel,” Randy corrected. “It was part of a trilogy. Completely planned.”

Mickey rolled his eyes and spotted you in the process. He grinned. You scowled. He crossed the yard towards you. 

“It’s been foooooreeever,” you drawled, tongue weighed down by the cheap liquor. He sat on the bench beside you. 

“The assignment took longer than I thought, baby,” Mickey said, putting your drink aside and pulling you into his lap. “But I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Your lips latched onto his neck, fingers tracing along the edge of that silly blue sweater. Mickey took your wandering hands in his. 

“Easy, tiger. What would your little Woodsboro friends think?”

“Who fucking cares?” You grabbed the collar of his sweater and pulled his lips back to yours. He didn’t argue again, hands cupping your face and body pressed against yours. You seemed to stay like that for hours, barely even coming up for air. 

Everyone else disappeared. Until-

“Something happened.”

“Not. Now. Randy.” You said in between kisses, annoyance clear in your still tipsy tone. 

Randy put a hand on Mickey’s shoulder and pulled him away. The look the other boy gave him made him take a step back. Between Mickey’s glare and the news that broke up the party, his nerves were more than a little on edge. 

“Listen, sorry to interrupt your little sex party over here, but there are cop cars around the Omega Beta Zeta house. And I’ve got a really bad feeling.” He looked at you pointedly. 

Unlike your hometown buddies, you could care less about the latest killer’s hobbies. But where there was a killer, there were bloodthirsty journalists. 

You clenched your jaw. “Fine. Let’s go find out who else got sliced and diced, huh?”

Mickey helped you up, keeping his fingers laced with yours as everyone rushed toward the doors. 

Across the street, people swarmed in flashing red and blue. News vans clogged the driveway. You stopped moving. Your grip on your boyfriend’s hand tightened. 

“What the fuck is she doing here?” 

Across the street was the sobering sight of one Gale Weathers. She was heckling some other woman who had her back towards you. 

“She was here earlier today,” Halle said. “Totally blindsided Sidney by bringing Cotton Weary to campus.”

“Gale’s here with Cotton?” You exclaimed. 

First, a new killer starts mimicking the movie based on her fucking book, and now she’s harassing the survivors by bringing up the past. 

Your plan might have to happen sooner than you thought. 

“Don’t worry,” Halle added with a smirk, “Sidney already gave her a piece of her mind.” She made the motion of a punch. 

“Did you know about this?” You turned to Mickey, whose eyes were fixed across the way. 

The woman talking to Gale hurried off. 

Mickey’s thumb rubbed the back of your hand. “I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Well, I’m upset now!” 

His phone started buzzing. “Shit.” 

Your anger shifted into fear, gruesome memories rushing through your head. Your eyes widened as he answered. 

“M-Mickey…” You tugged on his arm anxiously. 

He listened to the voice on the other side and mouthed “It’s fine.” He brought your hand to his lips as another reassurance. 

“I have to take this, I’m sorry,” he whispered. His eyes darted between you and the crowd. “Stay here.”

 Mickey stepped away, leaving you with the others to watch the chaos at the other sorority house. That’s when you saw that familiar head of chunky highlights heading towards you. 

“Fucking bitch,” you muttered to yourself and headed back to the Delta Lambda Zeta house. With Derek the guard dog at the front door, you decided to go around back to avoid any real interaction with Sidney’s boyfriend. Pitying looks was the last thing you needed from the frat prince. 

You didn’t see the flash of black until it overtook you.  

And, suddenly, it all came back. 

You saw the face of Billy Loomis as you ripped off the stupid, elongated white mask. He smirked down at you. 

“I always had a bit of a hard-on for you, Y/N,” he sneered, slowly pushing the knife into your side. He put a hand over your mouth to silence your screams. “I mean, Syd’s great and all but, the principal's daughter?” He chuckled. “I mean, it sounds like something out of a movie.” 

He took out the knife and started again. 

You stared up at that same mask as it hovered over you, arm raised with the same curved knife that almost killed you. 

“Not this time you sonofabitch,” you spat and used all of your strength to bring your knee up into your attacker’s stomach. 

They cried out and fell to the grass beside you, but not before they got a solid swipe at your side, sliding through your shirt down to the skin. A familiar, hot sting radiated from the spot and you screamed. You screamed like hell.

“Mickey!” One hand clawed at the ground to pull you away, the other clamped over your now bleeding wound. “Derek! Mickey! Anybody! Help me!” 

“Y/N?” Sydney’s voice called from inside the house. 

Ghostface whipped around at the sound. 

“Syd, run!” You shrieked. 

A flash of blue sweater came around the corner just as a large black boot stomped the side of your head. Memories and darkness took over, all speaking with the altered voice of your nightmares.

-

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He wasn’t supposed to care. But with every stirring motion, the traitor in his chest jumped. 

Your eyes fluttered open and Mickey let out a sigh of relief. 

“There she is,” he smiled. “I was starting to wonder if this was going to turn into a The Dead Zone situation.”

“Well, I don’t know, do I have any powers?” You asked wearily, looking around at your surroundings. You were in the emergency room. Guess they figured your injuries weren’t too serious to take you to surgery. You felt at the bandage on your side, letting the haze in your head clear before you sat up. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” You swung your legs over the side of the hospital bed and started to stand, ignoring every sore limb telling you not to. 

“Hey, I don’t think you're supposed to do that, babe,” Mickey said, putting a hand out to stop you.

“I’m not staying here so everyone can gawk at me like a zoo animal, Mickey,” you snapped. “Especially when Gale fucking Weathers is in town.” 

“I won’t let her anywhere near you.”

Your eyes blazed. “I don’t want your help.” 

Something flashed in his eyes. Something you’d never seen before. Something that made you sit down again. 

But just as quickly as it was there, it was gone. Mickey looked at the ground. 

“I’m going to go check on Derek. He got cut up by the guy that attacked Sidney.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I think she’s probably more freaked out than he is, so I should probably talk to her too.”

He left you in the hospital room feeling like a total bitch. 

-

Mickey stretched his sore limbs as he stepped into the unlocked apartment. He should really remind you to lock that. There were psychos running around. 

“Y/N?” He called into the dark. “Baby, you here?” 

“In here,” you spoke through a gasp. 

Mickey dropped his bag at the foot of the bed, looking at the light pooling out of the ajar bathroom door. He could just see your frame standing in front of the mirror. Your shirt was off and your fingers were peeling up the bandage that the hospital put on the gash in your side. 

“Hey, I don’t think you should be doing that-” Mickey started, pushing the door open all the way. 

He stopped, seeing the reflection of your tear-filled eyes looking back at him. 

You swiped at your cheeks with the back of your hand and turned around to face him, displaying your new wound, along with marks of old ones. Three long, jagged lines along your torso. 

He imagined Billy sticking a knife in you and unconsciously clenched his fists. 

“It brought it all back,” you said through gritted teeth. “I promised myself I would never be that scared again and today I felt like that weak, pathetic high school girl again.” You ran your fingers over the scars, flinching as you touched the angry, red stitched-up cut on your side. “All because of her.”

Mickey’s brows drew together. 

You took a breath and jutted out your chin. “Gale Fucking Weathers.” 

“Wait.” He ran a hand down his face, almost laughing. “You just got stabbed and curb-stomped by a guy dressed in the same outfit that someone who stabbed you- and almost killed you- was wearing and you’re freaked out about a journalist.” 

“I’ve looked killers in the eye before, baby,” you snapped. “But Gale Weathers is a goddamn necromancer. She brought Billy Loomis and Stu Macher back from the dead and now they’re going to outlive all of us.”

“Babe-” He started to reach out to you, but you pushed past him. 

“And we can’t forget about Sidney,” you exclaimed. “Poor, perfect Sidney, the tragic hero of the story. It’s all about her.” You paced back and forth, anger boiling out any soreness you might still have felt. “It’s like nobody else made it out. Randy’s a plot device, Dewey is a joke, and me-” You whipped around with eyes on fire. “I’m not even in it!” You picked up one of Mickey’s shoes, knocking over his backpack, and threw it at a picture on your wall. A photo from high school- with you, Sidney, and Tatum. 

Mickey hurried toward you and grabbed your wrist in each hand. 

“She wrote me out of my life.” You fought against him, refusing to let him see you cry, but his grip was too strong. “That bitch wrote me out of my own life and now she’s back to do it all over again.” 

“We won’t let her,” Mickey said, his own rage starting to surface. He tightened his hold so much it almost hurt. “Gale Weathers is just another hack who will get what’s coming to her and someone else will turn it into just another story.” He let go of your wrists and moved his hands to your face. “I promise, baby.” 

His dark eyes held that same look you saw in the hospital. It should have scared you. Instead, it pushed you into him, crashing your lips against his and pulling his body against yours despite the slight pain in your side. Maybe you just needed to put all of your roiling energy to good use. And Mickey was more than happy to help. 

-

Mickey got in the shower with a head clouded full of feelings he didn’t know what to do with. He wanted to kill that reporter bitch- not because it would be the kind of poetic justice perfect for his plan, but because she had hurt you. Everything was getting too complicated. 

He wrapped a towel around his waist and went back to your bedroom, finding you at the foot of the bed, hunched over and holding something in your hand. 

“I thought you were too tired to move,” he teased. “But if you’re up for another round, then I am-”

He stopped as you stood. 

The cloak spilled out of the backpack. The knife glinted at your feet. The Ghostface mask gaped back at him in your hands.

Mickey swallowed. “I can explain that.”

You walked towards him, eyes wide and chin held high. Your gaze burned a hole in his panicking heart. Mickey gritted his teeth. He wasn’t supposed to panic. He wasn’t supposed to feel. 

You shoved the mask against his chest. 

“Y/N…” He searched for the words, more for himself than for you. 

You spoke firmly and coolly, like reading a movie line. “I want in.” 

[calmcoldevening]

♡ Slashers as drinks ♡

Michael Myers — Water

• Firstly, it is good for the body (Michael can also be useful, yes)

• Secondly, if you replace many harmful drinks with water, your life will become much better. Well, if you spend more time with Michael, your life will get a little better (hey, he will kill all the people who somehow offend you, he will save your life from "bad drinks")

• Water is so delicious when you don't drink for several hours in a row. Seriously. Especially after some training. And so you come home after a long day, and you are greeted by this miracle (yeah, very friendly, especially with his emotionality) and you spend the whole evening together. Cute.

• Just, if you love Michael (I do), drink more water. And you will support Michael, and your body will thank you :)

Jason Voorhees — Morse

• It's sweet.

• It's delicious.

• This is useful, especially if it is at home.

• Well, just look at this adorable bun, it's impossible not to love it! It is so sweet and refreshing, like a delicious fruit drink made from fresh summer berries! It's like I'm back at camp again.

Bubba Sawyer — Cocoa with marshmallow

• Brighten up any of your cold evening with his warm, pleasant company.

• You, him and a warm blanket on the sofa in front of the fireplace, what could be better?

• This man has the most tremulous and loving hugs. His big plush body is literally created for pleasant, gentle hugs. And take another ginger cookie for both of you, and it will be the best evening of your lives.

• Cocoa will help you relax after a long chase after victims and dragging a heavy chainsaw. Bubba's tense body begs for such a pleasant rest.

Thomas Hewitt — Hot chocolate

• Like hot chocolate, it is very sweet and pleasant. Warms the throat and soul and all that.

• God, have you seen this divine man? I'm ready to kiss it all, it's the sweetest chocolate in the world.

• Lyude-Mae, thank you for raising such an incredible boy.

• Chocolate improves brain function and increases dopamine levels in the brain, isn't that a sign? In addition, the touch of another person produces dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, which lift the mood and increase resistance to stress. Hugs?

Stu Matcher/Billy Loomis — Vodka

• Can I not comment on this..?

Vincent Sinclair — Milkshake (your favorite flavor)

• Oh, yes.

• Milkshake is especially good in the heat. A little cream, your favorite ice cream and some fresh berries (you can do without them) and voila, it turns out such a yummy.

• You can freeze and get ice cream. Multifunctional boy.

• If you start drinking, the cocktail ends in an instant, and then you want more and more... This boy is addictive.

• But he's so sweet...

Bo Sinclair — Pomegranate juice

• I just don't like pomegranate juice. But it's useful. Bo, what's the use of you? (Sorry if you like him)

Lester Sinclair — Mineral water

• Simple and tasteful.

• Lester is really like a mineral water. In a difficult moment, he will always offer his friendly shoulder so that you can lean on or cry.

• The best thing you'll find with a hangover...

• Quenches thirst better than sweet soda.

• If you add syrup to it, you will get a sweet fruit lemonade. This boy will help in all cases of life.

Pyramid head - Green tea

• Many people don't like it (for example, my dad), but if you try this divine drink, you won't be able to drink something else.

• Pyra is truly a gift to the universe!

• Improves well-being, skin condition, accelerates metabolism, improves mood and the name system... I can go on for a long time.

• Delicious both hot and cold (But the Pyramid head one is always hot as Hell...)

• This man is addictive.

John Kramer — Lemonade

• Simple and tasteful.

• You won't find a better alternative for the holidays.

• It's delicious. It's beautiful. This is always relevant. Eternal classics.

• With what other drink do you get to know the essence of this life?

• Chilled lemonade with ice cubes and mint...

Amanda Young — Red wine

• Oh, this baby is the best.

• Improves sleep. Any time spent with this goddess is fine, but sleep is especially good. Next to Amanda, you will only have sweet, pleasant dreams! Maybe even smut... I assure you, sleeping with her is a pleasure.

• Useful for pressure. If Amanda is around, your heart starts beating wildly in a chaotic dance, and the blood rises to your pale cheeks until this moment. Now you don't look so tired, right?

• Hugs and kisses with this gorgeous woman are like Paradise, so it's quite possible to say that she herself tastes like good wine.

Mark Hoffman — Black coffee

• He took my heart.

• No sugar is needed to taste this man.

• At first it seems bitter and nasty, but... Hey, pour me another cup, please?

• It's fucking addictive, and after a while you just won't be able to drink coffee with sugar.

• Where to sign to sell your soul to the Devil? I just want to drink this coffee forever (and have Hoffman forever, ahem)

• As black as his soul.

• Bitter, but delicious in its own way and damn sweet.

• For connoisseurs of true art and something truly beautiful.

Brahms Heelshire — Milk

• Baby Brahmsey.

• Helps you fall asleep. This man will ask for a bedtime story and a kiss before going to bed... And then he will throw you on the bed and ask you to fall asleep with him.

• You know, it's good for the throat if you're sick.

• Milk reminds of childhood ...

• Sometimes milk is nasty and Brahms too. If your mood is more towards tea than coffee, drink tea. Brahms will get mad and calm down. And after that there will be time for hugs.

Hannibal Lecter — Cognac

• This man is good.

• After his appearance in my life, I decided to connect my life with psychology and helping others (and after Kramer's appearance, of course).

• Always good. Especially if you are some kind of boss or a serious person, you should have cognac. In the movies, it looks like a success.

• This man understands exquisite things and looks so great all the time... Really cognac, there is no other way.

• Will support you on a lonely night and cheer you up when you meet some of your friend.

Will Graham — Black tea with milk/cream

• This is... Cute?

• My cousin had a grandmother, she always made me such tea. It evokes a feeling of nostalgia and comfort, as if I am back in childhood.

• This is the most comfortable character for me! So warm, sweet, sweet and pleasant ...

• It's unusual, especially if you try it for the first time, but it's delicious, I assure you.

• A combination of classic harsh tea and something soft and kind from childhood, Will is really the best.

• I want to get to know Will by sight. I want to hug him. I want to be him, okay?

[m-jelly]

I've got you

Pairing: Sheriff Levi x Fem!Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, married couple, romance, fluff, threats of violence, scared reader, Levi giving comfort, Levi saving reader, love, kisses, cuddles.

Concept: You work for Mayor Erwin as his assistant and one day he is out and doesn't have much work for you, you opt to work in reception with the lady who is normally there. While behind the protective screens, a man comes in shouting and screaming and making threats towards you and your friend. You call your husband up right away a little scared. Levi comes racing over and saves the day.

@levisbrat25 @ladycheesington @li-anne @nyxiieluna @notgoodforlife @nbinairyn @cypidity @youre-ackermine @galactict3a @2moth-anon2 @thebobaprincess @demonsimp6

You hummed a laugh at Suzie's story. "Can't believe some people."

"I know, right?"

You released a long sigh. "Any emails?"

She looked at her screen. "All answered. Anything from the mayor while he's away at a meeting?"

You checked your work phone. "Nothing at all. Only cute texts from Levi."

She smiled. "Must be nice being married to the sheriff. He's so handsome and sweet. You reached a year yet?"

You shook your head. "Not yet, we will in a few months. We're planning to go away for it, so he's planning on training up his cadets so they'll be okay without him."

"It'll be so romantic!"

You let out a long sigh. "Right? I just want to run off with him now for a nice camping trip."

Suzie giggled. "I can only imagine what he'll get up to with you." She sat up when she saw a man approaching the doors. "Oh...oh no, that's Stu."

You looked out. "Crap, Erwin isn't here. Do we have security down here?"

"We've never needed one. Stay back here with me, we'll be protected with the card reading door and the screens."

Stu stormed through the front door, grabbed the stand with the leaflets on and threw it against the room and screamed. "FUCK YOU BITCHES! YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME! FUCK YOU ALL! YOU JUST HURT ME! ALL YOU DO IS HURT ME!"

Suzie stood up and backed up. "Back up."

Stu charged to the glass window and slammed his fist against it and spat at the glass. "I FUCKING SEE YOU IN THERE! YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME! COME OUT HERE NOW! I FUCKING DARE YOU BITCHES TO COME OUT HERE!

You moved closer to the glass. "Stu? Stu, do you have a meeting booked today? You normally see Mr Lee, right?"

"I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT ASSHOLE! HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME! NONE OF YOU DO! I HAVE TOLD HIM WHAT THE PROBLEM IS! HE DOES JACKSHIT!"

You sighed. "Stu, can you tell me why you're angry? Maybe I can help you out."

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU! YOU'RE THE DUMB BITCH WHORE YOU FUCKS THE SHERIFF! YOU TAINTED THE SHERIFF."

"Stu, I can't help you if you shout like this. You want help, right?" You sighed as he nodded. "All right, then talk to me."

He leaned on the counter. "I have come in time and time again about my situation." His voice croaked from screaming so much. "Mr Lee moved me out of the town into a new home because I needed it. I needed to be close to certain things. My home isn't good enough. I don't like it. It doesn't have what I need. It's noisy in the city, I don't have two bathrooms, its wooden floors and not carpet. I demand a better home. I am not leaving here until you give me a better home."

You sighed. "Stu, us here at reception can't give you that. You need to talk to Mr Lee. You have his number, give him a call and he'll talk to you about it."

"I don't want Mr Lee."

"Mr Lee is the only person you can talk to. He is the only person we have here in the department you need."

He pointed at you. "SEE!? YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME! FUCK YOU BOTH! GET OUT HERE NOW! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU BOTH! GET OUT HERE NOW!"

You fiddled with your phone as he started kicking things and throwing them around as he screamed. You tapped on Levi's name and called him up right away. "Levi?"

Levi called your name. "Hey darlin', everything okay? Who's screaming and shouting?"

"Stu is here. He's making threats and he won't leave. He's throwing things around and we can't leave the town hall."

"Fuck, he shouldn't be in this town! He's moved to the city. I'm racing there now, okay darlin'? You stay behind the glass with Suzie. I'll come for you."

"Thank you, Levi." You ended the call and stayed by Suzie's side. "Levi's coming."

Suzie watched Stu scream and throw things around. "I've never seen him this bad before and it's all over little things."

You hummed. "Mr Lee helps people move out of Town and is a kind guy to do it all. He is way too demanding." You gasped when you saw Levi's sheriff vehicle skid to a speedy stop. "Levi."

Levi got out and plopped his hat on his head before leaping up the steps. He jogged to the doors and opened them wide as Mike followed behind. "Stu, you all right lad?"

Stu turned to Levi. "Sheriff! About fucking time I met someone with sense! These bitches don't give a shit about me! THEY DON'T! THEY HAVE TO COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! I DEMAND IT. ALL THEY DO IS HURT ME!"

Levi moved closer as he fought his rage. "Stu, no one is hurting you right now. Look at your hands and arms, are they hurt?"

Stu looked down. "N-No, but the hurt is elsewhere!"

"Look at your reflection in the glass, is there blood?"

"No."

"Do you look hurt?"

"No."

Levi sighed. "So, you've not been hurt."

He gulped hard. "But those-."

Levi put his hand up. "Please don't call them names, okay? You wouldn't like it if they called you names, would you?"

"N-No."

Levi put his hands on his belt with his cuffs and weapons. "These ladies have nothing to do with your situation. Do you really think screaming at them will get you anywhere?"

"They don't care about me!"

"If they didn't care, they wouldn't have talked to you. They wouldn't have tried."

He looked over at you and Suzie. "Look at how scared they are."

Stu studied you and Suzie. "I...I..."

"I know my wife as well. My wife is incredibly kind, caring and helpful. I know she would have taken care of you." He sighed and looked at the mess. "Look at this mess. Why don't you work with Mike and clean this place up for the nice ladies, yeah?"

Stu whined. "Yes, sheriff."

"Good lad. Start cleaning while I talk to the lovely ladies."

Mike walked to the cleaning cupboard and got a few things out. "Here, Stu. Get to work."

You hurried over to the secure door and opened it for Levi. "In you come."

Levi winked at you before walking in. "Thank you kindly." He sighed when you closed the door and waited for the lock to click. He took his hat off and smiled. "So, how did this start?"

Suzie gave Levi the rundown as he made notes in his notepad. You told him your side of the story, but you were spending most of the time admiring your husband. He looked incredible in his tan sheriff uniform with his badge standing proud on his chest. His clothes were a little tight so it showed off his muscular figure. You loved his long boots a lot. You blushed when his wedding ring caught the light.

Levi put his notebook away. "Thank you, both of you and I'm sorry you had to deal with this shit."

Suzie shrugged. "Fucked up to say, but we're used to it."

Levi looked over at you with his brow raised. "That true?"

You hugged yourself. "It is."

"Tch, don't like it."

You rubbed his back. "I know, sugar."

He huffed. "It's not fair."

"Levi!" Mike waved to Levi. "I'll take Stu to cool off down at the station."

"Thanks. I'll escort you two home."

Suzie grabbed her things. "That's okay, sheriff. I'm happy to walk home now Stu is taken care of, but I'm sure your wife needs walking home."

Levi gazed at you. "May I escort you home?"

You nodded. "Please."

Levi smiled and opened the door. He waited for you to get your bag before walking you and Suzie out the front doors and waited for Suzie to lock up. "You sure you're going to be okay Suzie?"

Suzie winked at him. "I'm good. Was gonna go to the town bar for a drink anyway." She waved. "Thanks for saving us." She called your name. "Thanks for helping today. You were so cool and calm. I was impressed."

You blushed a little. "You're welcome."

Levi waved. "Night!" He sighed and looked down at you. "You wanna ride in the car?"

You hummed and gripped a bit of his shirt between your fingers. "Mm."

He rubbed your back. "You're doing so well. Let's get you home, okay?"

"Mm."

He opened the passenger side of the door and let you in. He hurried around to his side and drove the short drive home to your cute home right on the lake with a pretty garden. You and Levi were living the simple cottage dream. You were in absolute bliss with the love of your life.

Levi let you out of the car and locked it up. He escorted you inside and slipped his boots off, placed his belt on the side and hung up his hat. "All right, darlin', come here."

You threw yourself into Levi's arms and squeezed. "I was so scared."

"I can only imagine. That was not fair today for you to go through that. Stu is a piece of shit to do that."

You whimpered. "Yeah."

He picked you up and cuddled you. "I'm sorry you went through that all."

"It was horrible, but you saved the day."

"I'll always come running when you need me, okay?"

You nuzzled the crook of his neck. "Mm."

He sat down on the sofa and rubbed your back. "You wanna talk about it?"

"There's not much to talk about. It was scary to be there, but it's all done with. Thank you." You cupped his face. "So handsome and brave."

He smiled at you. "I love you."

"I love you so much."

Levi pulled you close and kissed you. "I don't know what I would have done if you had gotten hurt."

You massaged your fingers into his hair. "I knew you'd save me."

He leaned up and kissed you again. He sighed through his nose and nipped your lip. He slipped his tongue into your mouth and moaned in delight. He gripped your back tightly and moved with you. He could feel the desperation within your kiss. He lifted you up, lay you on the sofa, and snuggled up to you.

Levi held you close to him. "How are you feeling darlin'?"

You hugged Levi tightly. "I feel better, but more kisses."

Levi chuckled and kissed you passionately. "You know I love kissing you. I can't get enough of it and it makes you feel better, right?"

You nodded and kissed him again. "I love kissing you. I love you, Levi. I love you so much."

"I love you too. You are my everything."

[roadkillremi]

Glances Exchanged

Tatum Riley X F!Reader

^Picture above does not dictate readers appearance^

MasterList

Summary : after a long painful crush on Tatum. The truth comes out in front of her and her boyfriend.

Warnings: language, underaged drinking, mentions drunk dad, being outted. A corny truth or dare. I know just read it.

There was something about her pink lipgloss. The way she slid it on perfectly and licked her lips. You wondered if it tasted like bubblegum or strawberry. The wind blew lightly moving her bangs in her face. She smiled as Stu fixed her hair, you looked away trying to hide the realization.

"You're staring again." Randy whispered holding his sad brown bag of lunch. You looked down and stared walking towards the fountain.

"I didn't mean too-" you muttered. He chuckled, "Uh-huh. Like how you didn't mean to stare at her tits last week?". You glared at him wanting him to shut up. You sat in your usual spot, "Y/N! Finally you can save me from all this... testosterone" she cringed. You smiled, "Sure.". Stu kissed her cheek, "Yeah like you don't enjoy it.".

Your stomach knotted even more. Twisting in new directions, you wanted to puke and hide. More of hide and then puke.

"Anyway." She rolled her eyes looking at you. You took a bite of a pretzel, "Stus having a small party, you in?".

"Uh, the last "Small Party" was around 100 people.." you corrected. She smirked, "it's just gonna be me, Stu, Sydney, Billy, and.. Randy.".

Tatum had this sick thought of you and Randy together. Which wouldn't work due to you not liking Randy, or men. You blinked, "Uh..".

"She'll come." Randy chimed in. You gave him a look hoping it'd explode his head. You turned back towards Tatum, "I have homework..".

"Aw.. come on! Don't be a buzz kill!" Stu shouted. He gently hit your shoulder. You inhaled deeply, "Okay. But only us? Got it?" You pointed at the two of them.

"Sure thing, Mary Poppins." Stu scoffed.

Mary Poppins was the oh so glorious nickname you were given. Stu decided this because you were quoted, "the caring mom friend.". You cringed at the name, "Stop calling her that." Tatum snapped. Your face formed a shade of pink you smiled to yourself and looked down.

"What time tonight.. I'll bring some beer." You offered.

"I don't think your old man would like that" Billy jabbed. He didn't talk this whole time, you scanned his body language.

"He's too drunk to notice." You purse your lips together. You go quiet, Tatum sighed "How about you come over after school to get ready with me?". You gaze over in her direction, your eyes lit up.

"Sure." You hesitantly answered. She smiled sweetly at you, Randy playfully elbowed your side. You continued to eat your food feeling all giddy inside.

2 hours later

You waited by Tatum's locker, you gripped your bag tightly. You spotted her prancing down the hall with a lollipop in her mouth. She smiled jogging over to you, "I'm so excited. I'm gonna make you hotter!". Her face dropped realizing what she said.

"Not that you're not hot. Im just excited to do your makeup and stuff. I mean I'm youre beautiful without makeup-"

"Tatum." You interrupted. She glanced up at you going silent, "I get it, you're good.". She smiled in relief, "Anyway. Let's pick out clothes from your house and then go to mine.". She looped her arm through yours before walking towards the front door of the school.

"I'm thinking of that cute white skirt and a baby tee." She suggested. She pushed open the doors walking straight ahead. People scurried out of the way for her, she sucked on her lollipop pulling it out with a loud pop.

"And I can do your hair!" She gushed. You smiled, "Sure.". She swayed hips slightly bumping them into yours. Randy made eye contact with you on the way to his house. He shook his head with a toothy smile. You rolled your eyes towards him going back to listening to Tatum ramble.

The short walk to your house ended, you pulled out your keys to open the door. You invited Tatum in, "My rooms down the hall.." you instructed. She nodded observing your house, you walked to your room with her close behind you. You opened the door to your room, the lacey curtains let the light in.

"Your rooms are so cozy!" She cooed. You shrugged, "Eh, some of this shit is from when I was 5.". She looked in your closet pulling out some clothes.

"I think it's adorable. You listen to The Hole?" She asked looking at the poster. You nod, "Yeah she's so ho- er.. cool!" You corrected. She smiled, "Yeah. I'm more of a.. Madonna girl.".

"I mean she did change music culture." You smiled. She smiled back, "Exactly. She like.. told people AIDS aren't bad. And just... she's so cool.". You nodded, "Totally.". She grabbed a pair of jeans, "These are so cute on you.".

You had to admit, the jeans hugged your figure just right and were slightly baggy on your calves. She then pulled out a cropped tanked and put it out in front of you.

"With this!" She shoved the pieces of clothing towards you. You took them and started to change, her eyes widen. She watched you for a moment before looking away. She cleared her throat, "So.. where's that beer?".

"Uh, the kitchen cabinet near the pantry." You slid your jeans on with a hop. You finished getting dressed and grabbed your tote. You glanced at Tatum, "Ready?". She nodded practically slipping out the door. She went to grab some beer slipping them in your bag. You looked in the living room to see your dad passed out.

"Okay, let's go." You gently nudged her shoulder. She grinned walking towards the door. Once you locked the door behind you the both of you giggled.

"God, I can't believe he didn't wake up." She exclaimed. You watched the cars go by as you walked down the sidewalk.

"Yeah, he was knocked out." You added. She ran to her front door opening it for you. She ran upstairs to her room, she grabbed your arm pulling you to her vanity.

"let's get this party started." She smiled. She grabbed some of her mascara and lip gloss. You close your eyes trying to relax, you'd jump whenever she touches you without warning.

"Purse your lips out.." she calmly instructed. You did as told, you felt the wand glide against your lips. The same lip gloss that touched her lips. You felt like a preschooler gushing over this.

"Wow.. you look.. sexy-" she admired her work moving some strands of your hair. You fluttered your eyes open, you immediately looked at her. She grinned down at you, "Yeah.. really gorgeous.." you whispered.

"Are.. you and Randy dating?" She questioned. She went to her closet looking through clothes.

"Uh, no. He's not my type." You laughed a bit in the end. You watched her undress her self revealing her back to you. Your mouth went dry, "I uh... hows things with Stu?".

"Good I guess.." she muttered putting a different shirt on.

"Do you like Randy?" She turned back towards you.

"No. Not a chance." You smiled. She nodded, "I mean you're too good for him anyway." She sighed.

"Now let's go! I'll drive you!" She grabbed your hand pulling up. She sprinted downstairs only to be stopped by her mom.

"Tatum. Where are you going?" She placed her hands on her hips firmly. You glanced in between the two ladies, "Out with Y/N Sydney joining us!". Her mom slowly nodded, "Alright... be safe. I love you!".

"I love you too, Mom." She smiled leaving the house. She walked towards her yellow bug.

The drive there was filled with music. She sang along to almost every song. She tapped the stirring wheel to the beat. When Stus driveway was close by she whipped her car in.

"Ah, we're fashionably late!" She unbuckled getting out of the car. You followed behind her, Stu opened the door on cue.

"About time!" He called out embracing Tatum. You walked in unloading the beer from your bag. Randy grabbed a beer leaning back into the couch.

"How'd it go?" He opened the beer against the coffee table. You leaned back exhaling, "She took off her shirt in front of me..". Randy almost choked, "What!".

"Oh keep your dick in your pants. I only saw her back.". Billy strolled in holding chips, "Y/N.".

"Billy." You mocked. He placed the chips on the table. He gave you a look, a mocking smirk.

"So.. you're little crush..".

"Is Randy! Haha caught me." You panicked. Randy's eyes widened, "Mhm!". You two had a pact if anyone found out without you telling them. You'd fake date each other, sadly it was now .

"Wait. So you and Randy are?" Billy scoffed. Tatum glanced over, "Wait... you said you two weren't dating..".

"We aren't! I mean.. we are?" You looked at Randy for guidance. He looked at Tatum, "Uh. We're not dating. We are thinking about dating." He pointed. She leaned on her leg, "Uh-huh..". Sydney walked through the door frame.

"What'd I miss?" She smiled. You sunk into the couch, you felt nauseous.

"Nothing..." you muttered. Billy glared down at you, "Y/N and Randy might date.". You wanted to sink more, "Wow. How cute!" She smiled.

"Yeah. Hey I have a brilliant idea. Let's play truth or dare!" Billy clasped his hands together. Tatum rolled her eyes sitting in an arm chair.

"How old are you?" She judged. He grinned, "Just go with it...". He opened a beer bottle handing it to you. You quickly gulped the beer down, "Randy truth or dare?".

"Uh tr-"

"Don't be a pussy man!" Stu cheered. Randy exhaled, "Dare.". You shook your head, "This is stupid Billy. Let's just watch TV.".

"I dare you to kiss, Y/N..." Billy smiled widen. It frightened you a bit, "Sure.". Randy scooted closer to you giving you a peck. You stayed still and left slammed your eyes shut. Billy scoffed, "God that was pathetic..".

"Stu your turn." Billy kept his eyes on you. You stiffened and sat up, "That's not how this works!". Randy also sat up, Stu out his hands on top his head stretching.

"Stu-" Randy warned.

"Hmm. Is it true you have a crush on my girlfriend?.."

"Randy? I known him since first grade-" Tatum cringed. Stu laughed, "No not Randy..". Tatum face went red, she gazed over to you. Your eyes hurt due to tears poking through. Your chest felt like it was gonna explode.

She wouldn't want to be near you anymore. You probably freaked her out, she'll likely will tell everyone. You shook lightly wanting to run, "So?..".

"I uh..". Randy fidgeted, "Shut up, Billy! Like you aren't gay for Stu!" He shouted. You glanced over at Randy, "leave her alone. She should come out on her own terms.". A small tear fell and you looked down at the floor.

"I like girls.. okay? I just so happen to like Tatum.. but I never did anything." You defended. Tatum sat up, Stu shook his head. Billy raised his eyebrow and moved back against the couch. The criticism radiated, you hugged your torso.

"I can't believe you, Stuart! We're over!" She stood up getting in his face. He looked confused, "What?".

"God, you moron.. I'm bisexual! Madonna is a icon for the gays." She sighed. Randy looked at you, "I told you so! I knew it was weird she liked Madonna so much!".

"Randy shut up!" You and Tatum fussed in unison. Tatum looked at you sweetly, she grabbed your hand leading you out the house. You panicked looking back at Randy. He shrugged, she went out into the chilly night air.

"You should've told me sooner.."

You blankly stared at her, "Hello? Earth to Y/N!" She laughed. You smiled, "Sorry I just... You didn't have to break up with Stu.." you mumbled. She smirked, "He sucks anyways.".

She looked into your eyes, she leaned closer kissing you. Your heart melted, "WOOHOO!" Randy cheered. You rolled your eyes at him and cupped her face. She grinned, "are you gonna ask me on a proper date?". You blinked and then jerked your hand away.

"Oh! Yeah, do you wanna get dinner?.." you asked softly. She smiled, "Sure. And then we're going to the zoo." She added. You smiled, "Of course.".

She smiled and kissed you again, you melted into her touch. Her lipgloss, the lipgloss, tasted like warm vanilla cake. You pressed against her more holding her waist. When she separated from the kiss she giggled slightly.

"My lip gloss got on your lips.." she tried to take it off your lips. You grinned, "It's alright..".

[heydorothea009]

Bread on Toast 2162 - A Future Man s2 Fanfiction

After saving the world from the Biotics, Josh and Liv are catapulted into Tiger and Wolf’s time, 2162. The gang is separated from each other and contention begins to brew. Tiger and Liv find themselves face to face with an old “friend”, while Wolf gets caught in being someone he’s not, and Josh’s life is on the line. Things can’t possibly get any worse.

Warnings: strong language, light descriptions of massacres, brain smashing

Chapter 10: The Brain Job

Wolf’s plan to stop the NAG had backfired. Pump, who had usurped his position as Supreme Overlord, had punished Wolf for coming back and punished his cluster for taking his side. Pump had brought Wolf and his cluster as prisoners to watch the NAG attack the Mons and prove how wrong Wolf was. Except Wolf had been right, and the kill-bots had been released. 

  That’s all Wolf remembered when he opened his eyes, the world blurry. The attack had happened so fast, one minute he had been in a wooden box with only a hole for his head and hands, the next he was sprawled out on the ground, head throbbing and staring up at an angel- no- a Tiger, who’s hand was outstretched to him. He could hear the faint sound of lasers shooting as his ears rung. 

  “Move, soldier.” Tiger ordered, hauling Wolf up. Wolf felt another hand on his shoulder, helping him stand. Josh. That’s when Wolf saw the massacre in front of him, his entire cluster slain on the ground. That’s all Wolf could process, next thing he knew, Josh was shoving him down the hatch into the underground lab. Wolf was shell-shocked. Tiger slammed the hatch shut, the screams of the civilians echoing. The base shuddered. TyAnne and Liv stood waiting, faces pale. 

  “You made it.” Liv said solemnly. Wolf slowly lowered himself into a chair, staring off. Josh rubbed his temples, feeling sick to his stomach. Tiger said nothing. 

  “I saw them dead. On the ground. Gone.” Wolf’s voice was raspy. 

  “There’s still…some screaming.” Josh said. With one loud explosion that shook the earth, the world above went silent. TyAnne let out a breath and bowed her head in mourning. No one said anything, feeling too horrified. 

 Wolf let out a strangled wail after a moment. “My cluster! Their blood is on my hands!”

  “It’s not your fault.” Tiger slid into the seat next to Wolf. 

  “And my arms, and my knees, and my face, and-“ he broke down sobbing. 

  Liv wanted to comfort him, but hesitated. Instead she shakily took a seat, Josh sitting down right next to her, taking her hand and comfortingly rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. Tiger let out a guilty sigh. 

  “The blood is all on me.” She lowered her head shamefully. “I was blinded by self-pity, I didn’t see Stu for what he really was. El Diablo.” 

  “I’m glad you came to your senses.” Liv said quietly. TyAnne spun on her heel and left the room. Tiger slumped in her seat, covering her face as she took in deep breaths. Wolf was shaking with sobs. Liv and Josh were still holding hands tightly, every now and then one of them squeezing to remind the other that it was okay. TyAnne returned holding a small case. 

  “What are those?” Josh murmured. 

  “PSK’s. Personal Suicide Kits.” TyAnne said plainly as she pulled out small white cases. Liv sat up straighter as TyAnne slid one to her first. “The war is lost, we’re holed up in this bunker, it can’t get much lower than this.” 

  Josh opened his as TyAnne slid ones to Tiger and Wolf and kept one for herself. Liv recognized the red dots inside as the ones Hogeveen had used to kill herself. 

  Wolf sniffled as he pulled his dots out. “Which one goes where?” 

  “Doesn’t matter.” TyAnne answered softly. 

  “Are we really giving up?” Liv asked, looking frantic. 

  “Over some invincible killer robots?” Josh looked around at their comrades. 

  “12 million killer robots.” TyAnne placed the dots on her temples. 

  “I’m not giving up.” Liv let go of Josh’s hand, standing up and throwing her hands in the air. “That’s not going to be the end of my story.” 

  “Yeah, I’m with Liv.” Josh stood too. 

  Tiger leaned over the table and swiped their PSK’s. “Cool. These will kill me faster.”

  Everyone ignored them. “You know, when I look back, I think my biggest regret is picking that annoying voice when I was fourteen.” TyAnne sighed, placing her hands on her hips. 

  “You really fucking sold it.” Tiger complimented, pulling out more dots. 

  “It was exhausting.” 

  “I wish I’d spent less time at the shop and…” Wolf sniffled again, welling up. “More time with Lugnut.” 

  “Where do I even start?” Tiger leaned back in her chair. “I guess, I really regret the time I stuck my hand in Stu’s brain goo and…” she circled her fingers around an imaginary cylinder and made a jerking motion, which Liv and Josh clocked automatically and exclaimed in disgust. Tiger glared at them and rolled her eyes. “Okay, whatever, I felt a tingle too-“ 

  “You gave Stu a hand job?!” Liv cried. 

  “Yeah, while you were too busy prancing over to the NAG.” Tiger rolled her eyes again. 

  “Ugh! Then I’m really glad I left!” 

  “More like a brain job.” Josh mumbled, contorting his face in horror. 

  “Hold on, you saw Stu’s brain?” The hope in TyAnne’s voice made everyone’s hearts leap. 

  “I definitely saw it and jobbed it. To completion.” Tiger sounded like she might be sick at the thought. 

  “…’komputaboinken’.” Josh shuddered. 

  “How does that work?” Wolf asked quietly. 

  TyAnne pulled the dots from her temple. “We have spent years searching for his core processor. If you can lead us there we can take him down.” 

  “There’s a lot of defense.” Tiger said, also pulling the dots off. “We’d have to figure a way around it.” 

  “I could take the system down, show my face, do my thang.” Josh grinned. 

  “He patched himself, you have no power over him anymore.” Tiger shrugged apologetically. 

  Josh was stunned. “I-“ he stammered, looking around. “But I- that’s all I had!” He whined. 

  Liv patted him on the back. “Let it go.” She whispered. 

  Tiger straightened. “But…we have this…” she fumbled around her dress, pulling it up to reveal leggings underneath, pulling a vial of Cameronium from her pocket. Everyone perked up. “We’ve got enough Cameronium here to level that mountain, Wolf, can you build a dirty bomb?”

  “I have something better.” TyAnne turned and threw open a drawer retrieving a TTD. The four of them did a double take. 

  “That’s impossible, Tiger and I watched it explode.” Liv breathed out. 

  “It was a reproduction, reverse-engineered from this one.” TyAnne set the TTD on the table. “Did you rest think we were stupid enough to test experimental fuel on the only time-travel device?” 

  Tiger and Liv bobbed their heads. “It’s informed every decision I’ve made since then.” Tiger said sheepishly, sliding the Cameronium over to TyAnne. 

  “Okay! Okay, so this is awesome!” Josh excitedly got to his feet. “So we jump back to right before Stu patches himself, I’ll take out the other me and take his place, I won’t fight with that McGurgan kid, and I’ll smash the hell out of that super-computer, right?” 

  TyAnne thought for a moment. “Mm…probably.” 

  “‘Probably’, that’s not reassuring.” Liv stood from her chair again. 

  “You froze on the screen and stopped smashing, something happened in there, we can’t have that happen again.” TyAnne said. 

  “Oh…right…” Josh huffed. 

  “When Stu patched himself he shut down for eleven seconds. If you were to jump back to that moment, all of his defenses would be down. Stroll in there, smash that brain instead of the computer.” TyAnne slowly walked around the table. 

  “That’s actually…way better than my plan…” Josh sighed. 

  “That’s too much ground to cover, we’d never get there in time.” Tiger piped up. 

  After pondering for a moment, Josh slowly raised a hand, as if he were asking for his turn to speak. TyAnne nodded in his direction. “Unless we buy ourselves more time?”  

 Josh’s marker squeaked annoyingly as he drew a straight line over the glass board, explaining his thought process to the others. “When we use the TTD, we jump in time, but not space.” He wrote ‘start’ to the left and ‘brain room’ to the right. “Thus, if we run eleven seconds, let’s say we get to about…” he made a tick three inches from the word ‘start’. “Here. If we jump when we’re here, we’d still be in the same exact place, just eleven seconds earlier. We can just keep running and jumping,” he made another tick. “Running and jumping, running and jumping,” he made two more ticks. “Etc, making it so our window is extended for as much time as we need until we’re past Stu’s defenses inside the core processor, where we can give him the brain job he will never forget.” He turned with a proud grin. Everyone stared at him blankly. “…because…because he’ll be dead…” 

  “Wait, so I’m a little lost…” Liv raised her hand slightly. 

  “I love this plan.” Wolf stood up walking over to the TTD. “I’m in. Right after this.” He fired up the TTD and was gone in a flash of lightning. 

  “What- Wolf!” Liv reached out to stop him, but he was gone. 

  “Okay, I think I get it.” Liv sat cross legged on the table as Josh re-explained. “Jesus, why does this stuff have to be such a mind fuck.” 

  Electricity accumulated in the room, making everyone sit up straighter. Wolf landed back in the same spot he’d been in earlier, wearing a light blue button down, khakis, and beaming from ear to ear. 

  “Sorry everyone, I had to secure my cluster, they are safe and sound. Couldn’t help but skip to a few milestones though.” 

  “I like your puka shell necklace.” Liv complimented. 

  “Thanks, I just walked Lugnut down the aisle, it was a destination wedding.” Wolf beamed even brighter.

  “Aww! Do you have any pictures-“ Liv started. 

  “You have a time machine and you’re still ten minutes late?” Josh asked. 

  “Still on island time.” Wolf winked at him. “Guess who I booked to play the reception. Okay, okay, I’ll just tell you, Hoobastank.” 

  “…cool. Can we get back to saving the world?” Tiger huffed. 

  “Yeah, yeah.” Wolf begrudgingly took a seat. Liv slid off the table and stood next to Josh. 

  “Okay, so, now that everyone is on the same page, when we jump, we’re gonna give ourselves enough time to get into position inside of Stu’s compound. Then, when he goes to patch himself, we make our run.” Josh explained, placing his hands all business-like on the table. 

  “Well, here’s the thing, the secret entrance to Stu’s compound is inside the hangar, so you four are gonna have to get through there, avoid Stu, his commandos, and the other yous.” TyAnne spoke up. “Except for you Liv, the other you’ll already be here.” 

  “Yes, great point Achilles.” Josh nodded. 

  Tiger stood up. “Great. Wolf, fire up the TTD.” Liv and Josh hurried over to Wolf’s side. TyAnne remained planted in her seat. Josh left a space for her, leaving an arm free for her to join. They all looked at her expectantly. 

  TyAnne shook her head. “I’m not going with you.” She said softly. 

  “What? Why?” Liv asked, breaking out of the clump. 

  “These are my people and I’m their leader. I can’t just leave them here to die.” She stood up and gave them a solemn nod. “Their fate is my fate.” 

  “Goddammit.” Tiger sighed, breaking from the clump too. “You’re the best version of me.” She said, taking a step towards TyAnne, repeating herself again in Spanish. 

  TyAnne gave a small smile and nodded. “I know.” She held her hand out, offering Tiger a handshake. Tiger accepted, letting a proud smile spread across her face. “You’ll have to recruit Liv and I from three hours ago. I think they’ll get it.” She gave the four of them a salute. Liv gave TyAnne a small, sad smile. 

  “They will.” She said quietly. 

  Josh pulled Liv back to his side, sliding an arm around her waist. “Okay guys, time to save the world again.” He sighed. 

  “For real this time.” Liv added. And with that, TyAnne watched as the lightning engulfed them. 

  Next thing they knew as the lightning cleared, TyAnne and Liv from three hours prior were spinning around in their stools and looking stunned. 

  “We can explain…” Tiger cautiously held up her hands. 

  “You don’t have to, I get it.” TyAnne slowly nodded. 

  “Woah…” Other Liv stood up, approaching Liv, slowly raising her left hand as if she were expecting Liv to do the same thing. 

  “That’s…not how it works. I’m not your reflection.” Liv said. “But yeah, I’m you three hours into the future.” 

  Josh gigging caught both of their attention. “Two Livs, this is so awesome.” 

  “Oh, shut up.” They said at the same time, rolling their eyes and folding their arms in the same way. 

  “Oh! Oh no, not like that-“ Josh began to stammer, turning bright red. “Well, I- I mean- if you want it to mean-“ Tiger gave Josh a punch to the shoulder. “Ow!” 

  “Stop being a perv.” She and TyAnne both rolled their eyes in the same manner. “Tell them your plan.” 

  Josh rambled through his plan again, still red all the way up to his ears as he spoke. 

  “Love it,” TyAnne said. “What’s your plan to get into the hangar?” 

  “How many guards are there?” Wolf asked. 

  “Two.” Answered Josh. 

  “Can you show us where the guard house is?” 

  TyAnne pointed to it on the map of the Mons for Wolf.

  Tiger slid over to Wolf's side. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Otter’s Mousetrap?” 

  “Only play that makes sense.” Wolf nodded. 

  Other Liv caught Liv and Josh’s eye. “Do you guys know what that means?” 

  Liv and Josh shook their heads. They never knew what Tiger and Wolf meant. 

  Liv and Josh shoved their way through the line after Nut-Face Josh, keeping their heads low. 

  “Sorry, sorry,” Liv apologized over and over. 

  “Our friend’s up there.” Josh said with a polite smile. They pushed their way up to the commandos, feeling nervous. The commandos looked at them for a moment, before letting them in. Instead of walking straight into the front doors, a side door opened and Liv and Josh ducked inside, the commandos following. They could hear Stu rambling on and on about space helmets in an overly animated voice. They slinked behind a pillar, the commandos joining their sides and taking off the helmets, confirming that Tiger and Wolf were underneath. 

  “Thank God, I kept seeing you guys out of the corner of my eye and I was getting nervous that we’d gotten here too early and it wasn’t you guys.” Liv whispered. 

  Wolf had captured the commandos and sent them to 1954. That was Otter’s Mousetrap. 

  TyAnne’s voice spoke in their ears. “Okay, the hidden hatch to the compound is on the other side of the hangar.” 

  Josh peered around the pillar, spotting Nut-Face. “The younger me,” he muttered. “So naive, so full of hope.” 

  “Don’t let him see you.” Other Liv said in their earpieces. 

  “He can’t see anything, his eyes are all swollen shut. Trust me, I was him.” Josh said. “We need to keep moving.” Josh stepped out from behind the pillar, but no one followed him. “Guys,” he hissed. “Come on!” 

  “Yeah, and I just stuck this note on them that said ‘welcome to 1954’-“ Wolf was saying to Liv and Tiger. 

  “Guys!” Josh hissed. Liv turned, her eyes bugging out when she saw Josh standing out in the open. 

  “Josh, everyone can see you!” She hissed, leaning over and grabbing his shoulders to pull him back. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see someone fully turned in their direction, and she could feel their gaze on them. Her eyes darted over to see Nut-Face Josh wide eyed, staring at them. Well, as wide has his swollen eyes would open. Josh looked too, body tensing. 

  “Maybe if we don’t move he won’t see us, his eyes are-“ 

  “He can see us.” Liv quickly yanked them both back behind the pillar. “That’s not a pretty look on you.” 

  “Shut up, Liv.” Josh hissed, feeling around his face. “It’s gone down.” 

  “Wait- he saw you two?” Tiger grabbed both of their shoulders, nails digging into their clothes. “I expected it from you, Futturman, but really? Liv? You’ve got to leave and draw him away so he doesn’t ruin our plan. Go!” Tiger shoved both of them. 

  “Both of us?” Liv asked. 

  “Go!” Tiger pointed roughly for them to run. 

  Wolf motioned for them to run too. “Don’t worry, we’ll get the brainwashed Tiger.” Tiger turned to glare at him. “What? You were.” 

  Josh swore under his breath and grabbed Liv’s hand. “Fine. I guess couples who lead Nut-Face me away together, stay together.” He grumbled.  

  “He said he sees you guys, you better get out of there.” Other Liv’s voice said in their earpieces. 

  “We’re on it.” Wolf responded. 

  Liv grabbed Josh’s shoulders and spun him around, the two of them darting away. They flew down a hall, all the way to the first door they found, diving inside. It was full of metal shelves holding assortments of all-beans and all-nuts. They scrambled behind one of the shelves, barely hidden, but panting and catching their breath. They jumped when the door was kicked open again, Nut-Face Josh standing in the doorway, wheezing. 

  “Oh, Fuck.” Liv panted, letting her forehead drop against a shelf. 

  Nut-Face closed the door and peeled open his swollen eyes. Josh wrinkled his nose. “I knew I saw you,” Nut-Face pointed an accusatory finger at them. “I knew I recognized that bulge.” 

  “Hey…” Josh waved awkwardly, still trying to conceal himself with the shelf. 

  “We can explain…” Liv started. “So, your plan ends up failing and these killer robots are released…” 

  “Yeah, and before that when you try to smash the machine there’s some fog that almost makes you pass out, so you fail…” 

  “And then everyone dies.” Liv finished, wringing her hands on a metal bar.

  Nut-Face Josh panted. “…what? That- that- so I ate a nut for nothing?!” 

  “No! Not for nothing, I mean, you’re very important!” Josh tried to reassure him. 

  “Clearly not as important as you.” Nut-Face shot back. 

  “No, you’re essential!” Josh tried again. “Listen, our whole plan right now hinges on Stu noticing you and patching himself.” 

  “Oh, so I’m a decoy now?!” Nut-Face Josh threw his hands up in the air. “I am J1! I am not a decoy!” Liv and Josh shared an annoyed look. Suddenly, Nut-Face Josh tensed, visibly becoming more upset. “I’m NUT-FACE JOSH NOW?!” He yelled. “Et Tu, Liv?” Liv looked like a deer caught in headlights. Nut-Face Josh glared at her. “Not you.” He pointed to his ear. 

  A sigh sounded in both of their ear pieces. “I forgot to label the buttons and Liv got on and called him that, but that’s on me.” TyAnne said. 

  In another room, Tiger and Wolf stood across from Brainwashed Tiger, both growing more and more frustrated as she talked. 

  “So long story short, you’re trying to ruin my big day.” 

  Tiger shot her a nasty look. “Do you hear yourself? No. I’m trying to fix things after realizing that you/me is a total idiot.” 

  “You’re just jealous.” Brainwashed Tiger lashed, taking a step towards Tiger. 

  “You’re psychotic.” Tiger retorted, getting in her face. 

  “Easy, Tigers!” Wolf stepped in, holding Tiger back. “Listen,” he looked at Brainwashed Tiger. “It’s me, the Wolf from three hours from now, I’ve finally learned some things, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a Biotic, or whatever you called it. All that matters is that you’re you. I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I understand you don’t want to hear the truth, I’ve been there, and I’ll be the first to admit it. Just go in peace, rejoin your hologram boyfriend for the pretend MARS launch, and act like everything’s normal, that’s all we ask.” 

  Brainwashed Tiger looked at him suspiciously. “Okay…” her face softened. “You’ve convinced me.” Tiger clocked her immediately, discreetly pulling a taser from the commando suit's belt. “But only because I care about the fate of humanity-“ That was all the proof that Tiger needed. She stuck the blade into Brainwashed Tiger’s neck, making her convulse until she fell to the ground. 

  Wolf looked appalled. “She was gonna rat us out.” Tiger said plainly, putting the weapon back. 

  “How’d you know?” Wolf sounded stunned. 

  “I only talk about my feelings when I’m lying.” 

  “Are any of you capable of staying on-mission?!” TyAnne asked harshly. 

  “We’re trying!” Answered Liv’s voice. 

  Back in the all-bean room, Liv was trying to pry Josh off of Josh. 

  “This is about saving humanity!” Josh panted. “This is not about who is J1!” 

  Nut-Face Josh shoved Josh. “Says J1!” Liv finally wrestled Nut-Face away from Josh, all three of them panting. 

  “Goddamn you’re fucking strong.” She panted. 

  “Yeah, man, like really strong.” Josh rubbed at his neck from where Nut-Face Josh had him in a headlock earlier. 

  “You too.” Nut-Face Josh said, catching his breath. 

  “You know what,” Liv began. “It is about a number, but not who’s J1, it’s about the number of people who are going to die if you don’t go and let Stu see you.” 

  “What? So I’m just supposed to sacrifice myself while you guys, Wolf, and Tiger get all the glory and save the world?!” Nut-Face Josh shouted. 

  Josh clasped his hands together. “Look, uh, me, you’re playing your part too. Do…do you think that those soldiers that stormed Omaha Beach are any less important than the ones who smashed through the Berlin Wall and killed Hitler? Do you remember any of their names? No. Does that matter? No!  They are still heroes, and that’s why the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is among the most popular tombs in the entire world!” Josh declared triumphantly. Liv just stood by nodding. 

  Nut-Face frowned and groaned. “Damn…you’re good.” 

  “So…are you in?” Liv asked quietly after a moment of silence. 

  Nut-Face Josh threw his hands up in exasperation. “Yeah, fine. I’ll do it.” He grumbled. 

  Josh sighed in relief. “Oh, thank fucking God. Hey, brave face.” Nut-Face Josh glowered at them, flipping them off. “Close enough.” Josh ushered him towards the door. “Let’s go, soldier.” He sighed. As Nut-Face Josh stormed out the door, Liv and Josh collapsed onto the ground with another round of relieved sighs. 

  “Is he back on track?” Other Liv asked. 

  “Yeah,” Josh sighed. “Yeah he’s back on track, what’s the 20 on Tiger and Wolf?” 

  “Sorry Achilles…” Wolf mumbled, watching TyAnne fiddle with the dress Brainwashed Tiger had been wearing. 

  “You sure you can impersonate me?” Tiger asked. 

  TyAnne turned around, holding all of her hair over the right shoulder. “I dunno, you tell me.” She said in her whiny voice. She dropped back down her normal voice as she sawed off her long hair with a blade. “I did that for twenty years. If I drop it down a register and feign some deadness in my eyes, I’m you to a T.” 

  Josh snickered. Tiger shook her head, looking at the other three. “That’s not really what I sound like, right?” 

  “When you’re not yelling, yeah.” Liv said. TyAnne dropped her hair on the ground and grimaced. “That’s a pretty good hair cut considering you did that without looking.” Liv nodded, impressed. 

  “I used to cut my hair all the time when I was a kid, I got pretty good at it.” TyAnne put her hands on her hips. “Let’s move soldiers.” 

  Tiger and Wolf put their helmets back on, and the five of them snuck back into the main part of the hangar, Josh, Liv, Wolf, and Tiger all creeping behind the pillars. TyAnne walked out in front of a commando, distracting him. 

  “Oh, thank goodness, I got all turned around.” They heard TyAnne say, making her voice deeper. 

  “Alright, it looks like the secret hatch is just to your left.” Other Liv said into their earpieces. Tiger’s hand brushed along the wall tiles, searching for something that could trigger the hatch. They heard the hissing sound of it being opened, and the four of them saw it just below them. 

  “We found it.” Wolf responded, crouching down and leading the way. They crawled through a short crawl-space before finding themselves back in Stu’s compound. 

  “We are in position.” Josh said. 

  “Amazing. TyAnne said this was as far as I could lead you, good luck guys.” Other Liv said. 

  “The rest is up to Nut-Face Josh.” Wolf said, stretching his right arm over his chest. 

  “Yeah, yeah, I think he’ll be fine, I gave him an inspiring speech.” Josh said. 

  They waited fifteen minutes for any sign that Stu was patching himself, but there was nothing. 

  “Sounds like your inspiring speech wasn’t enough.” Tiger said, an edge of nervousness evident in her voice. 

  “Maybe…maybe he just got stuck in the line?” Josh murmured, pacing around what had to be Stu’s bedroom or some kind of guest room. Wolf laid behind them on the bed. 

  “We do have a time-machine, we can just bail and go to Medieval Times.” He said, looking comfortable as ever. 

  “No Wolf, that sounds awful.” Liv sighed, sitting on the ledge that the bed sat on, swinging her legs anxiously. 

  “1986? Buena Park, grand opening?” He suggested. The lights powered down, making them all jolt. 

  “Oh, shit, that’s us! Uh- uh- ten, nine-“ 

  “He did it! Go!” Tiger screamed, yanking Wolf from the bed, who clambered for the TTD. 

  “Eight, seven, six-“ Josh kept counting down, running out into the hall. 

  “I’m in the middle! I’m in the middle!” Wolf screamed, flinging himself in between Liv and Tiger, firing up the TTD. 

  “-three, two, one!” Josh threw an arm around Liv. In a jolt of lightning they were back. “Ten, nine-“ Josh began to count down loudly again, grabbing Wolf and pushing him in front as they sprinted down the hall. 

  They busted through a door, and hastily climbed down a ladder that lead them underground. 

  “-six, five, four, three, two-“ Wolf fired up the TTD again. “Hit it, hit it!” Josh grabbed Tiger's arm. Another jolt of lightning, and they were back. 

  “Cool lamp!” Wolf commented, looking up at the ceiling. 

  “Wolf!” Liv cried, grabbing his arm. “Come on!” 

  “-nine, eight-“ Josh kept counting. They rushed down a flight of stairs. 

  “-four, three, two- come on!” Jolt of lightning. 

  “Cool lamp!” 

  “Wolf! Come on!” The four of them whipped their heads up, hearing their past selves’ voices. 

  “Shit, did we know that was gonna happen?” Tiger asked. 

  “Yeah, yeah,” Josh waved his hands. “Come on, let’s go.” The sound of current Josh’s countdown meshed with his past self. “-two, one-“ the four put their hands on each other’s shoulders as they ran. Another jolt and they were back. 

  “Shit, did we know that was gonna happen?” They heard past Tiger down the long hall. 

  “What’s gonna happen to all of them?” Tiger asked as they ran.  

  “Who cares? They’re not us!” Wolf fired up the TTD again. 

  “Hit it!” Josh called out. Another jolt. 

  “That’s us ahead of us!” They heard a past Josh gasp. 

  “And behind us!” Came past Tiger’s voice. 

  “Keep going!” Liv panted. They flew down another set of stairs, Josh still counting down every eleven seconds. As they came to the bottom and jumped another time, the sound of their past selves all coming barreling after them with what sounded like a stampede of Joshes all counting down from eleven all caught up to them. The four of them stopped and turned in both astonishment and shock. 

  “Keep going, we gotta move.” Liv yanked on both Josh and Tiger’s elbows. 

  “This is it, this is the corridor that leads to Stu’s brainroom.” Tiger yelled over the cacophony of noise following them. They sprinted towards the room Tiger was talking about, doors clear and illuminated with blue light. 

  “Those doors aren’t gonna open!” Wolf shouted. 

  Tiger whipped out her blaster. “Yes they will!” She blasted through the glass. 

  “-five, four- go, go!” Josh shrieked, as they neared the now open doors. The four of them leapt past the threshold just as the power returned, lasers barely skimming Josh’s heel. They all landed in a pile in front of Stu’s brain stem. 

  Outside, they heard the sounds of all their past selves being shot at by lasers in the corridor. Josh reached for Liv’s hand, gulping. She knew what he was thinking, that could have been us. 

  “Joosh? Wolf? Liv? …Tiger?” Stu’s voice was heard, the lights around the glass that held Stu’s brain stem fluttering in unison with his voice. “But…if Tiger’s in there-?” Tiger smirked, imagining Stu’s shock as he realized he’d been sitting and probably trying to flirt with his daughter the whole time. 

  “I thought you liked me, Tiger?!” Stu wailed. 

  “You took advantage of me while I was emotionally damaged.” Tiger spat. 

  “How else was I supposed to get you to like me?” 

  Josh rolled his eyes, taking the laser-bat from his pocket, activating it. 

  “No! Wait! Wait!” Stu screamed. 

  “Stu, it’s Smasher code, okay? I have to. Liv, would you help me do the honors?” Josh wound up . 

   “Everything I did, I did for you Tiger!” Stu cried out. “And for TyAnne!”

   “You’re about to murder all of humanity.” Tiger deadpanned. 

  “Yeah, for you! Listen, I know I lied, I know I’m gonna kill millions of innocent people, but it’ll save so many more.” Liv and Wolf traded unimpressed looks. “It’s called a cost-benefit analysis. I ran the numbers! They’re on my side!” Stu tried defending himself. 

   “Yeah? Well, we’re not.” Tiger scoffed. 

  Stu erupted. “How did you do it?! What have you done?! You filthy shaved apes, you will pay-“

  Josh extended the hilt to Liv. “How would you like to help a Smasher smash?” He asked quietly, smirking.

  “My dear Josh, I would love to.” Liv placed her hands over his, and together, smashed through the glass. Wolf whooped as glass and liquid sprayed everywhere. Stu was cut off, screaming as his systems shut down. 

  TyAnne grinned giddily as her father collapsed to his knees, hologram glitching out of control. He screamed in what she could only assume was agony, his hologram becoming worse quality with each cry for help. She’d dreamed of this moment for years. 

  “Goodbye, Stu.” She seethed. “You were never my father.” 

  Liv, Josh, Wolf, and Tiger all took turns squashing Stu’s brain stem with the hilt if the laser sword. Whenever it wasn’t Tiger’s turn, she would stamp her feet down over the chunks that had flown off. 

  “He’s gone.” TyAnne’s voice said through their earpieces. They could hear the smile in her voice. In response, Other Liv cheered for joy. The four of them heaved grateful sighs, Tiger clapping Wolf on the back, and Liv and Josh wrapping each other in a relieved embrace. Wolf and Tiger pried open the sealed doors, which were now powered down. On the other side was a Liv, Josh, Wolf, and Tiger massacre. Their faces dropped. 

  “…not as bad as it sounded…” Josh said quietly, shrugging.

  “I’m seeing a lot more dead Livs and Joshes than us.” Tiger commented. 

  “To be fair, a lot are mutilated past the point of recognition.” Liv light heartedly joked, making her, Josh, and Tiger chuckle. Wolf just looked on, horrified. 

  Josh looked at him, feigning pity. “Oh, Wolf? What’s the matter? It’s no fun when it’s you, huh?” 

  Wolf slowly shook his head. “Such a waste of talent.” He never took his eyes off of the closest dead Wolf. 

   “I for one,” Josh said, sliding an arm around Liv’s shoulders. “Think this victory deserves a victory kiss.” 

  “No offense Josh, but you’re not my type.” Wolf said, pushing away from the door. Tiger snorted. 

  “He’s not talking about you, dumbass.” Liv rolled her eyes, kissing Josh on the cheek. 

  “Oh, right.” Wolf shrugged. Josh pulled Liv in for a small kiss. Tiger looked up at the ceiling, folding her arms and tapping her fingers on her biceps. Wolf, being Wolf, leaned against the wall and watched them. “Goddamnit, I love love.” 

  A zapping sound caught all of their attention, two men in steampunk suit jackets and hats appeared in front of them. “Get down on the ground. You’ve got two seconds to comply, starting…” the one man with a curled mustache and goatee clicked open a pocket watch, which projected something that none of them could understand into the air. “…now.” 

  Tiger and Wolf exchanged look, laughing at these fools. “Hey, nice hat, lose-“ Wolf started. They all keeled over, crying out and plugging their ears as a horrible screeching sound filled their ears. 

  “Who are you people?!” Liv screamed, sliding down against the door. 

  “You all are under arrest for violating Statute HXB34 of the Santa Clarita County Time Code.” The mustached man said. 

  Josh’s head shot up. “Santa Clarita?” He yelled over the noise. The men looked at him, expressionless, and pressed something on the pocket watch, and Stu’s brain room turned hazy and faded from view. 

[love-bokumono-fics]

Fresh Crops! December 11 - December 17, 2023

This week's newest stories and chapter updates for Harvest Moon and Story of Seasons on AO3!

Insatiable - by Perversions; Complete, 1/1, 3.2k

Rating: Explicit; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M Fandom: Harvest Moon and Story of Seasons Relationship: Gwen/Vaughn; Characters: Gwen, Vaughn | Waltz Additional Tags: **NOTE: Some tags have been removed to remain Safe For Tumblr. Please see AO3 for complete list** Unsafe Sex, Established Relationship, Riding, Doggy Style, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Begging, Teasing, Wet Dream, Frottage, Masturbation, Cussing, Marking Summary: Waking up horny was never a problem. It always had an easy solution to solve when they were both awake. Waking up horny in the middle of the night while her boyfriend was sleeping was a different story.

Her Voice Within - by syavwits; Complete, 6/6, 14k

Rating: Not Rated; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M Fandoms: Back To Nature Relationship: Claire the Farmer/Gray; Characters: Claire the Farmer, Pete the Farmer, Gray, Rick, Kai, Cliff, Doctor | Trent, Mary the Librarian | Marie, Karen, Popuri, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Elli | Elly, Manna, Duke, Doug | Dudley, Old Ellen, May | Mei, Stu | Yu, Zack, Won | Huang, Anna, Basil the Writer, Saibara, Harris, Gotz | Gotts, Kano, Louis the Entomologist | Chuu, Greg, Barley | Mugi, Aja | Adge Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Romantic Soulmates, Soul-Searching, Mystery, Mute Protagonist, Found Family Summary: It's not that Claire can't talk, she sometimes speaks yes, but only when she really put all her energies to do it. Then there's Gray, the stoic guy with the famous resting b*tch face, he doesn't want anything to do with anyone, everyone, even the new girl although she's… cute. While Pete tries to save his farm, he also confides in Claire and asks her help to search for his unknown childhood friend, his first love, who apparently is one of the girls in Mineral town?!? Will Claire manage to find Pete's long-lost Best friend? Will Claire find what she truly desires in her second chance at life?

Don't Eat Flowers - by Maymist; Complete, 10/10, 20k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/F Fandoms: A Wonderful Life Relationship: Nami/Pony | Aya | Jill; Characters: Nami, Pony | Aya | Jill, Rock, Reader Additional Tags: Lesbian Character, Inspired by Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons, Mentions of Other Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons Games, Blue Feather, Romance, LGBTQ Character, POV Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship Summary: The new farmer girl in Forgotten Valley attempts to give Nami some flowers to, er… totally give the hint that she's romantically interested in the very much reserved tomboyish red-head. Nami completely jumps to conclusions and misunderstands though, and that's where this silly romance begins. What kind of other madness will ensue?

The Heart of a Westown Cowboy - by Mya_Stone; WIP, 36/?, 50k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M Fandom: Trio of Towns Relationships: Female Farmer/Wayne, Farmer & Wayne, Wayne & Ford; Characters: Frank, Ford, Carrie, Brad, Megan, Hector, Colin, Daryl | Darius, Marlena, Lynn, Wayne, Miranda Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Guy Falls First, famiy drama, I Wrote This For Me But I'll Share It With You Summary: Wayne is Westown's perpetually single lady's man. He'd like to settle down but he just hasn't found The One and he's fairly certain he's met everyone in town. Then Melody moves in, taking a plot of her uncle's ranch to fulfill her dream of being a rancher. A college-educated business woman, Melody doesn't accept failure - especially not her own. As Wayne falls hard for her, she struggles to return his affections until she has what she came for - and when she continually comes up short at the cow competitions, she begins to wonder if Westown is really the place for her.

The Scientist and his Farmer - by Daryls_Favourite; WIP, 13/?, 13k

Rating: Not Rated; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M Fandoms: A Wonderful Life Relationship: Daryl/reader; Characters: Daryl, Rock, Muffy | Molly, Marlin | Matthew, Forgotten valley villagers, Reader Summary: You have been living in forgotten valley for a little under a year. Winter is underway and you need to keep your farm afloat whilst also trying to court a suitable spouse.

The Princess and the Carpenter - by SymphonicFantasia; WIP, 20/50, 2.9k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M Fandoms: Magical Melody, Save the Homeland, Hero of Leaf Valley Relationship: Dia/Kurt | Hayato; Characters: Dia, Kurt Summary: They weren't so different from one another although others may not think so. Just because she was a "princess" didn't mean that the carpenter didn't belong with her. It just took a bit of chiseling to see who they really were deep down. And even then, they would only show those halves to one another.

What Others Say - by Anonymous; Complete, 1/1, 1.8k

Rating: Explicit; Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con; Category: M/M Fandom: Pioneers of Olive Town Relationship: Eiji | Ollie/Iori; Characters: Iori, Eiji | Ollie Additional Tags:**NOTE: Some tags have been removed to stay Save For Tumblr. Please see AO3 for complete list. Sexual Coercion, Jealousy, Established Relationship, Domestic Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Top Iori, Bottom Eiji | Ollie Summary: It's hard to ignore what others say when it aligns with your hunches.

Unkind - by Anonymous; Complete, 1/1, <1k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/F Fandom: Friends of Mineral Town Relationship: Claire/Elli | Elly; Characters: Claire, Elli | Elly, Harvest Goddess Additional Tags: Domestic Violence, Magical Pregnancy, Misunderstandings, Hurt/Comfort Summary: A lot of pain and heartache could have been avoided if only a certain someone had communicated beforehand.

And one Not Safe for Tumblr fic by Thefallen1986

[msookyspooky]

https://www.tumblr.com/msookyspooky/746467988785496064/oh-my-god-spooky-that-chapter?source=share

No bc????? Dewey just full on gave up on her and she is totally alone besides Stu and Billy??? Like she ACTIVELY stood in front of Billy and tried to defend them from Jill so on some level she is aware that she has some kind of feelings for them!!

I know I always say this but it reminds me of, when in Havoc and Daisy has that show down with Hardy and he goes "like it or not, little girl, I am apart of you." (Of course the audience won't know what that exactly means until the second book!!) But its just like, "my father is the worst man alive. . .and I am his favorite daughter."

Just like with Billy and Stu: on some level they LIKE our final girl. Stu can admit it, Billy??? Maybe, lmao.

Personally, I am rooting for a deep talk on a rooftop in New York between Billy and our final girl 🤷💗

GD WHY DOES TUMBLR NOT LET ME KNOW THINGS LIKE NEW ISH IN MY INBOX (I am so so sorry this is late wtf)

Anyways, no fr irl I thought "How would I choose two men that betrayed me, killed my friends and have tried to kill me for years?" and the answer is THEY'RE ALL I HAVE LEFT.

I knew it was coming. I did. Bc affairs usually do eventually come out even though this isn't an 'affair' it's a secret involving 3 fucked up ppl two that actively choose to be fucked up and one (Us) that just can't catch a damn break!

I mean, when I saw Sam in Scream 6 I was elated but sad for her bc "OMFG SAM IS OUR YN!!" like how can you have a normal life when you're accused of being involved with the killers and death threats and death attempts on your life and everyone you trust turns on you and never having true friends or relationships and never having a decent career or kids or anything remotely normal bc of the killers still hunting you or the threat of it? That has GOT to wear you down and now you're on the run with two killers that are monsters and horrible people but they also saved you and care in some toxic way while your best friend is dead and your surragate older brother is so devastated he won't even listen?

I WOULD BE SOBBING. Like, I would be distraught and numb and so so devastated by everything if I was in yn shoes!

We'll see! Bc I agree I don't think either of them are good enough guys to ever be a healthy partner or even fucking friend at this point so...We'll see!

(And I love you're writing all the slasher tropes are *chefs kiss* ♡♡♡)

[wh0-1s-m1aaaa]

Js a lil treat for my scream 1996 lvrs :)🤍

Notes: this is my first time writing on here pls be nice :( ANYWAYS here’s a lil blurb of them at the beach :D

Honestly kind of randy centered for plot sake and a bit of sarcastic bimbo reader sprinkled in for flavor and like I didn’t really finish this so I mighttttt make this 2 parts (pls don’t murder me pookies💔)

Platonic!AFAB! reader x main 5

Word count: roughly 1000

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• in a world where they (sid, tate, billy, Stu, and ray) where all *platonic* besties: they plan a beach day in the nearest town with a beach about 2 hours out.

•Tatum has Sidney and randy in her red buggy. While stu has billy and y/n in his Nisan skyline with his serf-board zip tied uptop.

•The reason they ride in separate cars in both due to space and Stu’s music taste💀. Tatum and Sidney have every piece of beach equipment known to man settled in her buggy and this takes up about 3/4 of a car by itself, leaving Sid the passenger seat and randy stuck between 3 sets of chairs and an umbrella. As for Stu, he listens to the trashiest, cheesiest, pop music you have ever heard on full blast the ENTIRE time. Even with you and billy complaining (billy isn’t so much complaining as he is annoyed and turning the volume down and Stu keeps turning it back up) and swearing your ears are bleeding the entire time😭.

•Once you guys FINALLY get to said beach randy is forced to go and find a spot for y’all to set up base. (through vigorous complaining ofc, but he gave in after Sidney asked) he then proceeded to search for all of 5-7 minutes before picking a spot randomly after getting tired of stepping on seashells and almost tripping on what used to be a sand castle and is now a lump of sand. He comes back to you guys (out of breath and on the verge of death bc he is a lanky babygirl of a man) and tells u guys to scope out the spot he found.

You all decided it was good enough and started unpacking the hoard of beach equipment, well you, Sidney, and Tatum at least. Randy is turning red already and was forced to put on sunblock. Billy is just standing off to the side with his arms crossed watching you guys set up, so helpful right? And Stu ran to the water the second he dropped the umbrella and god knows what else he carried in the sand and left with a simple “see y’all byeeeeeee” (and he was gone😔💔)

After what seemed like at least a millennium you guys where finished unpacking. Tatum was trying to tan, Sidney was on a towel under the umbrella reading a book, billy found the boardwalk through his smartypants context clues and like the incel teen he is went on his merry way to find some girls (and possibly a guy) to talk too. Randy is basically off at sea searching for Stu bc he needed him for something or other. Meanwhile Stu is nowhere to be seen in at least a 30 mile radius (why randy is searching for him? Let alone In the OCEAN? You have no idea.) you where simply watching randy in the water slowly drifting farther from your home base with no sense of direction (genius huh?) and laughing at him to yourself.

After randy wandered WAYYYYY too far out you got up to yell for him because if he goes out any further he will be in the news by tomorrow morning as the dumbest man in woodsburo. He heard you after about the 7th call and yelled he was looking for Stu, intriguing to you considering he and Stu never really actively go on hunts for each other, but regardless, you call out to him saying he’s too far out and as if you said the magic words a big fat wave crashed down on randy. And like the smart cookie you are decide to ALSO get in the water and save him from drowning (super sexy hot funny life saver y/n🥰🥰😻) so you Scurry up to the water in your hot pink 2 piece bikini (or wtv you want ofc) and like the badass you are, you don’t find him, BUT he does find you. “JESUS randy you scared me, I thought you where like a kraken or something” “y/n were in knee deep water your fine” randy said to which you replied and ended the out of breath conversation with a simple “still”. Both of you are looking like wet poodles and the rough waves crash against the 2 of you for a hot second before the seemingly second sense kicked in and you both look to land only to find yourself on (seemingly) the “other side of the damn world” as randy stated.

“Do you know where we are now y/n” randy said “no…..BUT I don’t think we could have drifted to far from our little camp. And uh Sidney or Tatum probably saw so no need to worry” “okay then so we should probably get out of the water and start trying to find them or the camp” he said casually slightly calmed from the reassurance you laced your words with “that would probably be a good idea” (and so you and Mr Meeks are now slowly but surely making your way onto the hot sand to hunt down the wizard of ozz and find your way home😻).

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Okay so yea this is a 2 parter I’m srry my brain is having the worst writers block and I’m running off 2 hours of sleep,a granola bar, Wawa cold brew coffee, and hopes and dreams. Anyways to the porn bots and my 5 real followers I love yawl 😻😻♥️🫶🫶🫶🫶

[doubleddenden]

Genuinely wish there could be a wholesome anime about a guy adopting a bunch of kids and it doesn't get weird

Like okay they can be monster children but the focus is that he's a good father figure they need and the normality they so desperately needed in their lives

No weird twist where the dad marries the daughter he raised, no no weird "will they won't they" dynamic between the dad and daughters, no weird fan service from the children at all

If anything it's a failed harem anime where women think he's an ordinary DILF, but then they meet the kids and one accidentally squirts them with squid ink because they have anxiety about getting a new mom, or the cat daughter pukes up a hairball on the carpet, or the dark elf son that has visions has a vision of the woman's exact moment of death and casually says some fucked up shit like "you will die aboard the train to Shibuya Station on February 30th, 2025 c:" and she runs away because she's too stupid to realize Feb doesn't have 30 days

And there's obviously a mom that's perfect for them, she's the childhood friend to the dilf that's also coworkers and has dinner with them sometimes, but the DILF is an idiot and sees her as a sister or something despite the glaring obvious signs. Even says himself "man you'd be perfect for the kids lol"

But more importantly it's day to day chaos that the dad gently calms, it's helping the kids feel better because they don't really fit into society, the dad standing up for his kids- like this is a normal ass person embracing absolute weirdness but he wouldn't have it any other way

Maybe there's a scene where he gets into a fist fight with an elf king that has come for his daughter's hand in marriage- king is fighting with magic but DILF just uses karate he learned in high school

There's an a school festival and like his vampire daughter SHREDS guitar because he taught her how to play at an early age and she knows all the classics

Dad teaches his slime girl daughter how to make chocolate for valentines and helps her figure out a way to keep from spilling herself into the mix with plastic wrap

He's got a demon son that comes from hell and his ancestors like tormented billions for eons, but son brags to his human friends that his human dad is cool because he showed him how to work on cars to save a buck

Also the dad encourages the kids to not totally abandon their roots, because it's important to know about where you come from and all that, but also encourages them to try the mundane human stuff like new coffee flavors or roller coasters

Like this man is an average joe but not a Gary Stu, and his kids fucking ADORE him and there's NOTHING MORE between them except they love their dad and their dad loves them