#My blorbos are gonna lose bad

[bestqprshipbracket]

Best Polyamorous Ship Group 4 Round 1

[crewofthegoldrush]

get early access or leave a tip!

its over for you bitches

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Types of Obey Me Character Fans:

(All of you are valid, and I am equally afraid of all of you)

Lucifer

“Look at this tragic, broken, man, I am either going to fix him or irreversibly damage him, I haven’t decided yet.”

OH YOU FUCKING KNOW THE OTHER TYPE.

“You are my daaaaaad! You’re my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!”

Mammon

This man is innocent. He has done nothing wrong ever. I love him. I will pet him gently for 88 minutes straight. That is my husband. That is my sweet blorbo.

This man is guilty of all crimes and I will be persecuting him to the fullest extent of the angst laws.

Haha funny greed boy hangs from the ceiling :3

Leviathan

I will be this man’s discord kitten. I want to sit on his lap while he plays God of War and does a bad impression of Kratos. I will let him infodump to me until the inevitable heat death of the universe because I love him so much.

WHEN ARE WE GONNA SEE LEVI IN HIS UNIFORM-

I’m forcibly shoving him outside to touch some grass out of love for him.

Satan

My husband is done so dirty by the writing, I will write essay after essay dissecting and explaining his character to a cold, uncaring internet, but that’s okay because my love for him will keep this fire burning-

Heehoo angry catboy nerd annoys Lucifer, and I love him

Satan please lose your shit and go feral, it’s sexy.

Asmodeus

That is my wife, my boyfriend, my side bitch, my everything. I want to be him. I love him. He’s done so dirty by the writing of the game and by a good chunk of the fanbase, I will love and cherish him as he deserves and destroy all his insecurities… or write a depressing amount of angst for him.

What a fine young man.

I would love to see him covered in the blood of his enemies.

He may not be my favourite but BOY HOWDY IS HE IN THE TOP THREE AND I WONT SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

Beelzebub

I love him deeply but how in the ever loving FUCK do I write for him-

Food himbo who’s pure and innocent and has never done anything wrong in his life-

THIS MAN HAS MADE NUMEROUS COMMENTS ABOUT EATING MC BUT I DONT CARE BECAUSE LOOK AT THAT PRECIOUS FACE-

Belphegor

Ugh, look at him. Disgusting. He has not bathed in seven years. I’m going to spray him with the hose.

I am single handedly the kinkiest fuck in this fandom. The horny Lucifer stans WISH they were as depraved as me.

I love him so much and I will cherish him above all things.

————————-

Tag yourself, I’m every kind of Mammon fan and 1 and 2 of Asmo’s fans.

[soft-cristobalite]

Watched arcane season 2 act 1, thought abt it, so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order. Obvious spoilers.

Also, i watched in dub. Important to know when i am quoting charaters + when i am talking about their tone.

Starting of with something that is directly affected by dub �� ukrainian Jayce is my Jayce. Ppl said he sounded condesending while talking to Ekko — not. at. alllll. true for my Jayce. My Jayce sounded tired, emotionaly burn out. "You drink tea, Ekko?" said with no though to it, in a context of continues talking of "Haha do i live here? Hahah....... Do you guys want tea? Want some tea? I'll make tea. Do you drink tea, Ekko?". But d-dub is supposed to stay true to the original— I DONT CAREEE. I love my blorbo almost-himbo Jayce, never changing his characterisation in my mind.

And i will hold Jayce's hand when i say this — you were. Just so gay for like... Essentialy going "Are you okay? Good, good" to lady Mel Medarda HERSELF and then seeing Victor and losing your mind. Sprinting with him in your hands to your lab. LIVING in your lab to monitor him. I just... I get it, you don't have many friends. But like...... Really dude. Reaally.

Give Mel and Ekko thirty minutes. I promise you they would work it out. Eternal piece would be achieved.

I know there are a lot of different opinions regarding Caitlyn. I will not be explaining in-depts what i think about her acr, because a) who cares and b) i like to see her go cray-cray. But like — why isnt anybody exept for Vi attempting to stop her??? Like why is Jayce mourning Victor's twink death instead of, yk, stopping his childhood-best-friend-kinda-younger-sister from killing ppl of Zaun, the last thing Victor wants btw? She and Vi are twenty-ish — WHYYYY are they going through it by themselves??? Why doesnt baby yoda guy with German name that i dont dare to write trying to stop the daughtrer of his ex-collegue? He is 600 or something, im sure he could've come up with advice.

Cait pointing her gun at a child is terrifying, it opens up the possibilities of her going even more blinded with anger, doing even more horrific things, and Vi is right to try and stop her. However... I know damn right i would've believe her when she said she will not miss 😭 Every single time she fired her gun she was very precise. Even in that scene she aimed at the gun the girl was holding like two seconds ago and got a perfect. fucking. score. Like i dont remember her missing at all, actually.

"Ohhhhh you're gonnnaaa haaaaaattteeee Maddie after act two—" says who? On that note, i hope both Cait AND Vi will sleep with a few random people. Good for them. Let them try to forget about each other only to realise just how down bad they are for one another. Let the scenes of Cait and Maddie hooking up intertwine with Vi's one night stand.

"Maddie is just gonna be a victim of comander Cait :(((" and i do not have any thing to say to that — we dont yet KNOW what will happen — but I dont think Cait will try to manipulate her into this. I think Maddie will flirt a bit, Cait will try and seek salvage and vulnerability in someone, especially since she is now constantly in public's eye and needs to project hope™ and stoicism™. It will be a genuine attempt to move on — not anybody's fault she can't.

But oh god, oh goooddd i cant wait for Maddie to loose the spark in her eyes due to lesbian situationship.

[bbgliker-teehee]

i genuinely hate how the only plus size/ fat rep in both shows is given to either BG characters viv wasn't involved in or just the "evil guys". you cannot tell me that woman has any respect for plus sized people at all.. she enforces harmful stereotypes and outright refuses to add ANY diversity to her characters (the "i'm afraid to draw muscles" bs for example)

• literally how can you make the embodiment of gluttony not at least a little bit chubby?? she literally can summon all types of foods & drinks?? thats her entire thing?? she is built like a kardashian.. how. if you're gonna depict the main two fat ppl in your shows as food addicted a-holes why not stay consistent (impossible for her)

•both main fat characters (adam, mammon) are always seen eating unhealthy stuff in masses. a very harmful stereotype. and also adding to the stigma plus sized ppl face on a daily basis.

•not to mention the constant fat "jokes" directed at moxxie, which are a) unnecessary and b) blatantly wrong?? moxxie isn't even fat?? and even then its always implied fat people are fat because they can't stop eating or only eat junk food, like blitz telling moxxie to eat a salad. or loona.

• husk. that man literally consumes alcohol like it's water and he doesn't have an alcohol belly??? hello??? thats...not avoidable when you're an alcoholic... SAME FOR VEROSIKA.

•the mammon & fizz bs. a fat character telling an already skinny person they're "chungo?" and he should lose weight cause people find it sexy af? and its outright implied its bad behavior? she's just immensly hypocritical with this. loona & blitz said similar things towards moxxie but there it's funny & acceptable? f off.

•mimzy is the only fat character that she designed that is close to the HH main cast and she's also portrayed as a shitty person. every fat character is a shitty person and called out for it.(adam with charlie, mammon with fizz, and mimzie with alastor) everyone else literally looks the same and is equally shitty as a person but is never called out because its her blorbos.

but we're talking about the woman who turned st. peter into a blue eyes, blone haired anime twink and refuses to draw BIPOC- or any diversity for that matter....

Adam and Mammon are so similar that Vivianne might as well make them the same character...

And Mimzy my love....they did you dirty

[foxsoulart]

Blorbo for Mystic Summons au, takes place after Leo loses his arm.

Leo opened his eyes, half-lidded and drowsy still. The world spun in a kaleidescope of blurred colors and shapes. He scrunched his eyes shut, tensed, and willed it to go away. It did. Gradually. Once the spinning and subsequent nausau stopped, Leo reopened his eyes and settled into his body. The crinkle of sheets under him and the shift of a blanket when he moved told him he was in a bed. Not his though if the scent and color choice said anything. Which it didn't literally but still.

The dimmed lighting either meant it was night or someone was worried about waking him.

Tilting his head to look on either side of him felt like a momentous task. Muscles aching in tandem with his brain fog. Geez, what did I do before this? Run a marathon or six? I am so tired.

To his left was the rest of the room. Which if his eyes would focus he could tell what that was, but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

To the right was the door. And a slumbering figure in a chair that looked like it was dragged in from another room. Because, wow, that does not match the decor in here that I can see at all. I hope it is not normally in here. Otherwise I'm gonna need to have a talk with somebody.

After straining to pick out details with his still unfocused eyes for far too long, Leo gave up and closed his eyes with a sigh. Letting his head flop back onto the pillow with a thump. The motion jolted awake the guy in the, absolutely hideous, chair.

A grey sweatshirt over baggy worn blue jeans, long black hair pulled in a messy half pony, and startingly blue eyes.

Ah, I know this guy. Casey.

"Still a walking self-care disaster." Leo mumbled outloud, potentionaly unintentional.

Casey heard but elected to ignore that comment. He instead slipped around the end of the bed and checked Leo's pulse using his left wrist. Comparing and counting with a watch he was wearing.

The yokai scrunched his brow in confusion.

"Dude, you could have just done that with my right. Less work."

He lifted his right to wave it around to prove his point. Or tried to anyway.

He was met with the sensation of.....nothing. He felt his shoulder move, but nothing after that. Feeling just.....ended. Leo's beak twisted in further confusion, his mind on the brink, the precipice of remembering something important, of clearing his fuzzy head.

Casey was saying something but Leo wasn't paying attention, too preoccupied with the mystery of why his right arm wasn't responding. He turned his head and lifted it to see better, ignoring his body's aching protests. What he saw...was nothing. A small bit swathed in white bandages extended a little past his shoulder. But that was it. His arm just ended. It wasn't there.

What. Why isn't...

Then the brain fog cleared and let the memories come crashing back in.

The glint of metal, the all consuming burning pain, a horned face cruel and cold.

Horrible re-realization and panic pulled him into a sitting position, lurching up. His left arm held onto his shoulder, feeling the absence of that arm. He hunched forward, eyes blown wide, pupils pinpricks, his breathing shook and convulsed in his chest. Tears fell unbidden. He leaned forward pulling his knees up to grind his forhead on. His whole body tensed, fingers and toes curling in, then released inone long shuddering breath.

"I'm never going to see a triceratops the same again, am I?"

".....No." Casey said, remorseful. The experience had already been ruined for him, but it must be 10x worse for Leo and his brothers.

".....Cool." It wasn't. "My favorite was brachiosaurus anyway." Leo tried to joke. Emphasis on tried.

He really needed a better coping mechanism. But laughter was supposed to be the best medicine right? Too bad his laughter died deep in his chest. And dang, the tears just wouldn't stop. No matter how hard he tried. So he dropped his resistance and let them flow. He just lost his entire freaking arm, facade be damned.

This felt better that holding it back anyway.

Leo was a quiet cryer, quieter that even Donnie(who wasn't as quiet as he thought himself) He didn't sob loudly, it was just silent anguish. Over time his brothers figured this out and learned how to tell. Leo would say he preffered to cry alone if it wasn't a lie, he absolutely hated it. It was just so hard to take that first step. Once he started, moving anywhere by himself was out of the question; he just couldn't.

Leo had curled further into himself. The solitary arm hugging his knees to his chest had him crying harder.

Now a Leo from another time might be thinking himself selfish for crying over his arm before making sure his brothers were okay; but those same brothers had drilled into his brain (and their own) that if no one was dying right that second, to take care of himself first. They were all still working on that, but they were working on it.

Casey was panicing.

"Um, it's okay. I'll uh I'll go get your brothers? Would that help?" I have no idea what I'm doing.

Every action was faltering, not sure what would help or make it worse. He moved toward the door, deciding to find someone else who would know what to do, at least more than he did.

Leo noticed Casey leaving and was clutched by fear, he hated crying alone.

"Don't leave!" was choked out past his tears in desperation.

The utter and absolute panic in the slider's eyes told Casey that the best course of action would be to stay. So he did. His hand lifting off the doorknob to hang awkwardly at his side. Casey came back around to sit back down in the chair Leo had first seen him in.

"I won't." He promised.

Leo sagged in relief. Silence only broken by shuddering breathes settled over the room. Surprisingly the atmosphere was not negative.

Casey was still uncertain if he should be doing something more, so he fidgeted nervously. Carefully studying Leo when he sat back up, wiping away his remaining tears with his remaining hand, sniffling.

"Do you....um.....do you want a hug?"

For Casey a hug always made him feel better after crying.

Leo looked surprised by the offer but recovered quickly, smiling softly and shy. "Sure, I'd love one."

Casey stood and leaned over, wrapping his arms around Leo. He gave his best, most comforting hug he could, mindful of Leo's injuries.

It reminded Leo of Raph's hugs. Of a big brother. Of warmth and safety. It wasn't nearly as crushing and all-encompassing, but it was still absolutely amazing and exactly what he needed.

[livingthedragonlife]

i make good playlists too sometimes. listen to it maybe?

explanations for why i chose the songs under the cut because i miss 8tracks. BIG HUGE SPOILER WARNING if you haven’t read/finished the manga!!!

Pure Love by Mother Mother — I always liked this song as a comforting presence but you could also read it as a sinister one. Definitely leaning into the sinister version here. I was also thinking of the innocent beginnings of the Winged Lion, just a little speck granting tiny desires before it was drawn "like a moth to a flame" to bigger ones. And the rest is history.

Remain Nameless by Florence + the Machine —

But know I'll always be around This can remain the same

Call me when you need me Call me anything you want Darling, believe me Nothing I haven't done before

The King by Anjimile — This one just gives me the vibes of how the power of being a dungeon lord drives everyone insane.

The Cage by Vera Sola — Deeply Mithrun

Under A Dome by Of Monsters and Men —

I'm taking over my own throne I’m holding my heart and it's overgrown I'm kicking out and I’m full of life So why should I cry over northern lights? And it's over now and I'm falling

It Will Come Back by Hozier — This WHOLLEE song is just. The Winged Lion in a nutshell. It's the entire premise.

Thousand Eyes by Of Monsters and Men — The dungeon lords can see through all their monster servants. A thousand of them even

Everybody Wants to Rule The World by Lorde — "uh oh shit is getting real"

Moderation by Florence + the Machine — The Winged Lion having absolutely no chill

Never Pleased by Portugal. The Man —

No I'm not Jesus but I'm more than a man I'll never grow old or lonely or sad Still I'm never pleased I'm never pleased

From the corners until I wake up walking as careful can be Careful to miss out on all that I see I'm never pleased

Tethered to the Dark by Anya Marina — The way the Winged Lion can manipulate you in fucked up ways you didn't even know were possible

Dangerous by Son Lux —

Are you dangerous? Carved right into my bed Quick lobotomy Then left me for dead

Mr. Lonely (feat. Fat Lip) by Portugal. The Man — Ultimately, being a dungeon lord leaves you alone and obsessed and with ultimate power that you don't even have full control over.

Forever by Mother Mother — Marcille's motivation but also the Winged Lion's? Marcille essentially never wants to see anyone her loves die ever again, and the Winged Lion wants to feast on desires forever. Unfortunately, entropy.

Guilty Filthy Soul by AWOLNATION — The Winged Lion doing some more crazy manipulation.

Propaganda by Muse — Obviously the dungeon lords are taken in by the Winged Lion's "propaganda," it "eats souls," it "toys with the truth." BUT!! Mortal desire is also something the Winged Lion "can't refuse." It's convinced by its own lies. Did I just blow your mind

Carnivorous by Band of Skulls — Eating yummy desires om nomnomnom

Little Monster by Royal Blood — The Winged Lion wants to eat Laios sooooo bad and this is a song about that.

Animals by Muse — LAIOS IS GONNA ENSURE HIS OWN SURVIVAL!!!!!!!!

Leave My Body by Florence + the Machine — The Winged Lion leaves its own body to steal Laios', for "one grand moment." Laios leaves his own body to be become a monster. But the Winged Lion loses a lot more than its mind in that arrangement! I feel like the "Your history keeps pulling me, pulling me down" part can be interpreted in this context as like... the history of life. Of survival. Finite resources, something the Winged Lion will never understand. Florence Welch did not intend for this to be what her song was about but I don't care it's blorbo time

[jasontoddspussy]

why dont you make more jaytim content? if you like trans guys so much tim would be perfect for you to make shipping content of. hes a total twink.

...What

..Okay, feel like there's a lot of things to unpack here.

So let's start with;

Jaytim "content"

Now I'm just gonna tell ya right here that I don't create ''content''. I create ''art'' - be it my writings or artwork.

I do create Jaytim work, still. However, the way I enjoy the ship isn't the way I see alotta other people enjoy it. It's cool that there's so many ways we can all play with our characters::,)

I'm not just creating Jaytim stuff tho. I really like Jaytimdick, or dickjaytim, or timdickjay, whatever the hell the name actually is, I sure as hecc don't know lol - because

1) Jason's my blorbo. I love him, he's my fave and I want to see him be loved. He deserves it.

2) I enjoy jaydick's dynamic in that there's a lot of angst potential. I don't believe they're in love with each other. The same goes for Jaytim, tho. I believe that Tim *could* have a crush on Jason, but tbh I think he's more likely to have a crush on Dick.

3) Tim isn't actually a fave of mine. I really don't like the majority of his characterisation in this fandom, and that means creating my own works where I do like it. Fandom is a conversation, and I want to share what I love and why I love it. Sadly, not many people share my views of Tim, and thus it makes it.. harder for me to create sometimes - Fandom, fanfic, art, is a conversation, and it's.. Not exactly fun talking when no one is replying.

I don't blame anyone for not enjoying or sharing my views! That's totally fine, but that makes me less likely to focus on tim-works, such as Jaytim-only stuff.

On that note, lets move on to "Tim content"

Specifically, "trans tim". To which, as you say "would be right up my alley"

And to some extent, it is. I headcanon him as genderfluid, using he/she depending on what earrings he's wearing. Sometimes he's a guy, sometimes he's a girl, sometimes he's neither, cool. However, and this isn't really important, to me he's AMAB. Dick'n'balls.

A lot of people headcanon him as transmasculine or just a trans guy. Which, kudos to you!

I personally don't do that. I headcanon Jason as a trans guy though. Which...A lot of people don't lol.

I wouldn't say I dislike this headcanon of Tim. However...

As you yourself said, he's "a twink" (although he's not a twink in my head), and I personally find that a lot of people tend to headcanon characters who "are twinks" because they look more feminine. Not to say that transmen can't be feminine, but if you headcanon a character as a trans man *solely* because he looks fem? Yeahhhhhh that's... I'm not really into that.

It's why I tend to headcanon larger, burlier guys, as transmen. Because we rarely see those in fandom.

I used to like Tim, but honestly seeing how fanon turned him into a wimpy sad kid who hates himself took away some of the enjoyment of him. I block tim-centric, and a lot of tim-related tags on Ao3 now. Again, no shade if this is something you enjoy, it just means I'm making my own stuff.

Which brings me to my conclusion, and basically the answer;

I want to have fun with these characters. To me, they're so... Much more complex than what you see in other fanworks. I'm not gonna say I'm perfect and that my interpretation is the only correct one, of course not! But it does mean that my peculiar taste isn't really popular.

I have a bad habit of being hard on myself, and when I see how none of the works I really enjoyed working on is all that popular, I sorta lose motivation. Again, it's a conversation but there's no one to talk to.

So I'm just trying to make what I find fun while this hyperfixation still lasts. I want to write Jason-focused stories. I want to write more Jaytimdick stories. Even if it's not popular, or what you want in particular, anon.

But hey, if you don't enjoy what I'm making, you can always make your own stuff.

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 6

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

propaganda under the cut

Jesper Fahey (Six of Crows)

No Propaganda

Crowley (Good Omens)

"He's gender. He's been in love with one guy for literally 6000 years and then royally fucks up his entire confession. He yells at his plants. He drapes himself over every fucking surface he sits on. He walks like *that*. He just fuckin makes sounds sometimes. He's me fr."

Dave Strider (Homestuck)

"everything that can be said about Dave's relatability will probably sound redundant, clichéd, or overdone if you are at all familiar with tumblrs sort of blorbo culture. this is exactly why he should be in this tournament.

stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: he hides his genuine emotions behind a persona, deflects sincerity with jokes, but also has a deep desire for validation and connection, so that his persona has many cracks where little bits of his true self slip through. deeply insecure, compares himself to others. a defeatist streak, avoids responsibility. does not wish to be troubled by The Horrors. he just wants to hang out and do his lil creative hobbies (making music and drawing comics). talks a lot to the point of being pretty awkward, rambling, and accidentally saying stuff he shouldnt.

all these things I think tend to resonate deeply with a lot of people, especially on Tumblr - that "person who is insecure and struggles with emotional openness so copes by making jokes" sort of trope, it's just like kin bait (affectionate). he also has a complicated relationship with gender which I know many find relatable (shout out to the "Dave homestuck was my trans awakening" homies) but whether it's about figuring out gender or sexuality or trauma or the apocalypse or anything else, Dave comes at it with an initial, learned, fear and reluctance that I think a lot of people have experienced, because it's very human and very much a part of many readers experiences (we live in a society). but he's always good, and likeable and that makes for a very important sort of relatable character. very comforting. even if he's a mess and he's an idiot you can believe he can get to something better, and you can watch him develop and grow.

also, I think he's extremely relatable because he never really knows what's going on in the comic either. I mean, that's gonna be relatable to most people Vis a vis homestuck. he's confused and he just wants to vibe and make his friends laugh. WHO AMONG US cannot relate?? I do not believe you if you say no.

I wrote too much and got way too weird about it. I'm sorry it's late I'd edit down but I really don't have the brain capacity.. which is very Dave core of me actually"

Junior (Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race)

"i relate to him a lot because his whole character is being embarrassed of his dad who tries too hard to be cool, but still loves him anyways. that is literally me"

Kim Dokja (Omnicient Reader's Viewpoint)

"kim dokja. oh kim dokja. so, without going into spoilers too much, kim dokja is very much a character you are expected to relate to and it makes the novel DEVASTATING. here's just a few things about him: - he is obsessed with a particular piece of media, and finds comfort in it when real life doesn't give him any. he's constantly thinking about it and defending it and trying to recommend it to other people (even though no one else bothers reading it, because it is an objectively bad 3000-chapter webnovel). even beyond that one novel, he's been using fiction as an escape for just about his entire life, something that rings true for a lot of people, especially in the modern world. - he struggles with socializing with other people. the first chapter alone gave me so much second hand embarrassment. it's so real but god it's So bad. he has zero friends and has that sort of loneliness where you're miserable but you can't really bring yourself to feel anything but resigned to it. in general he is just very Resigned to his unfortunate life and can't fully understand or accept it when it finally does get better - he has a complicated relationship with his mother. it's the kind of relationship where the parent genuinely does love their child, but they fail to give them what they need & have to accept that they hurt their kid and that they cannot be the most important person in their life. it's certainly not a universal experience but those sorts of parent-child relationships are woefully common but scarcely acknowledged -the insecurity. god there is so much insecurity in that man. it's hard to even completely tell it's there at first, because it's so ingrained in how he thinks that you don't question it until you know more about his character and suddenly it's all too apparent. he cannot believe that he can be loved (or, if that he can be, that they certainly would not be able to love all of him, only what he chooses to show them), and is selfless but like. the literal meaning of the word, where he will throw away all of his being for the people he loves. in general there is a lot of sacrifice as a love language which like. while i'm not off around throwing myself in front of magic death beams for people or anything i sure would give up everything i could if it meant helping the people i love - ok enough of that. here's some funny things i can relate to. the guy meets his favorite fictional blorbo and instead of worshipping him instead he bullies him constantly and internally complains about how unbearable he is both in the book and in real life. it's like a "i love my blorbo. i would not last 2 seconds in a room with him." You know. he gets so caught up in his fanon characterizations and biases about characters that he completely mischaracterizes them like constantly. he literally kills a guy half because he was his least favorite character. -this is a poll about blorbo relatability. therefore i must mention that kim dokja too related to his blorbo (or at least attempted to) and what is more relatable than that. anyways. kdj made me realize far too much about myself and is by far the most i have ever related to a character (and i Hate it). and tumblr would definitely relate to him too so :thumbs-up:"

"(SPOILERS) He is literally all of us. Reader. Just some guy. And then insane tragic backstory. But he’s also just some guy. He’s special and also just a guy. He’s also god. He can be shipped w anyone. He has versatility and interests and motivations. He also never tells anyone anything ever. He is so me."

"He reads a trashy, long-ass novel as a coping mechanism and doesn't think he's capable of being loved. Bro dissociates when he's emoting too much."

"I'm a homestuck fan, a Dave Strider fan even Never heard of Omnicient Reader's before Voted for the kim fellow because judging by the propaganda it looks like he himself would be a homestuck reader therefore making him more relatable than the homsetuck character himself"

"This guy’s been my companion since I was 11, I’ve grown up with Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint and I think that’s pretty funny since he grew up with Ways of Survival (the 3149 chapter novel) and therefore I’m straight up mirroring him. I, too, scare everyone off by being too enthusiastic whenever the webnovel is brought up! His insecurities are severe but I do see myself in some parts of him (which is worrying but whatever.) He is absolutely The Guy Ever. Utterly pathetic wet cat of a man. I love him. He represents the crazy fandom tumblrina in all of us."

Donutella (Tokidoki)

"she's made of donuts basically like me at this point"

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Jojolands 13: Ohana Means I'll Set Your Ass on Fire

Dragona dropping some great truth about the absurd in this bizarre adventure. We finally got a peak behind that mask. I love it and I hate it, if you've read the chapter already you know what I mean. We'll get to that, because this right here isn't spoilery and it was such a cool nugget.

I love the way Dragona talks about the "absurd." Chance moments that alter one's life for better or for worse. The things that just don't make sense. Especially paired with Dragona opining about nearly losing their heart in the same chapter that last part about hearts being destroyed hits hard. I'm definitely sure we're looking at a trans narrative here and one we'll see play out. The chapter does a good job of implying what we need to know. Nudges at an early theory you've been changing your body with Smooth Operator. We ready? What follows is no place for beginners or sensitive hearts:

Oh HELL yes! As if I needed a reason, these two were well on their way to top Jojo status and now the dynamic duo of the Joestar Siblings are definitely there. Mean girl sets her sights on a much more timid Dragona who we now know looked way more masculine at 14 than 18. Talking physical build and not just fashion. You know, I don't expect an 18yo to have all that figured out and with this I do think we'll see her keep coming into her own. But holy shit that was fucked up and I sincerely hope we can get through the rest of this with no more sexual assault on my Jojos blorbo.

If they do...Jodio will fuck you up. Set a whole damn bus on fire! And while I'm not looking forward to having to relive the impetus in the inevitable anime adaptation, since we've already had the cop I kinda like the perpetrator being a girl here. For one because it shows a side of this kind of bigotry that often goes underrepresented. You see a little more space made typically for trans men who had bad experiences with men prior to coming out, largely because it tends to overlap with those who found a comfortable half-step in something like a radical feminist group. But this sets up Dragona pretty well for a realistic other side of the coin to that. Your experiences with bullying might make you a little skittish of girls your age, you keep a foot in this criminal world even if we keep showing you (not unlike Okiku) as someone who doesn't fit super well, all this would certainly explain why you'd gravitate towards a figure like Meryl Mei. Why there's great potential for drama if she shows a nastier side. It's all great for a trans story that justifies still figuring yourself out through it...but sticks to a fairly realistic path for a lot of young women who find themselves running with gangs.

All that said, Jodio you absolute freak. Burning the whole bus is metal, it's scruffy, he's protecting family. Doooooope. These two are fantastic and I can't wait to explore their story, their dynamic more. Jodio & Dragona's sibling bond is the beating heart of this part. As much as I love Kiku/Izo & Killua/Alluka yeah this is gonna be a banger. Speaking of, this chapter was also the second time we nudged at Jodio getting shit for looking fey too. These two are ride or die for each other and their awesome mom Barbara Ann. How this all ties into their family falling apart and their desire to become filthy rich? No need to ask...

In lighter news. They. When Meryl learns of the other lava rock that got smashed. We're all clear on who's the brains and who's the firepower in the dynamic duo right? I trust Meryl as far as I can throw her and she's a big lady. But for now everything seems on the up-and-up. Charmingman seems to have passed the sniff test and yeah it looks like he's just going to hang around. I like this new setup. Scouting a shadowy company to see if we can get more lava rock.

All in all one of the best chapters of Jojolands so far. I'm loving it, this is the exact direction I hoped it'd go. The backstory made this pretty heavy and I hope we can have more fun with this gang on the new excursion.

[loud-whistling-yes]

beloved mutual loud-whistling-yes please tell me the story on how pearl found your blog I am so curious now /nf

ok its been like 2 years since this happened i barely said a word about it but ok whatever pearl probably forgot about it i think i can say it now

October 24th, 2022

Pearl announces the release of her dl plushie

It's several months after dl's finale and 2 weeks until my birthday

My mental state in this period of time was solidly parked in the Pearl Insanity Zone

I want- no, I need that plushie

It's 138 ringgit

The plushie is 138 fucking ringgit

My mother refuses to let me buy the plushie

Not even as my birthday present

Not even if I offer to pay with my own money

I was this close to chewing up the furniture

I am not allowed to chew up the furniture

I choose instead to scream and cry on tumblr about it because well where else was I gonna cry about it

In a moment of stupidity and plushie-mourning grief

I maintag the post for personal sorting reasons

October 30th, 2022

It's exactly one week until my birthday

I get an ask in my inbox

It's tumblr user pearlescentmoo

Wait

TUMBLR USER PEARLESCENTMOO????????????????

I check the blog to see if this is a troll blog or something

NOPE

IT'S REAL

PEARLESCENT FUCKING MOON JUST SENT ME AN ASK

She says she feels bad that I can't get the plushie cause of the price

She wants to send me a discount code so I can get the plushie for free

Wait what

SHE WANTS TO SEND ME A DISCOUNT CODE SO I CAN GET THE PLUSHIE FOR FREE?????????????

I distinctly remember feeling like I was gonna throw up on my laptop

Oh yeah also losing my mind on whatsapp with my irl friends who have no idea what the fuck was going on

Problem is

She sent this to me via an ask

I'm pretty sure her DMs were closed at the time

Look man I wasn't gonna blast the fact Pearl's giving out plushies for free all willy nilly like that I have standards

I tried responding to her via answering the ask privately

The answer gets sent

I never get a reply

I'm pretty sure that tumblr, in it's true tumblr fashion, ate the ask

I never got the plushie

And that's the story of why Pearl definitely knows that my blog was titled "pearl my blorbo skrunkly poor pathetic meow meow"

It's been 2 years and I still want to die

[locution-youngster-enjoyer]

Haven’t really done an episode review in a while. This isn’t really an episode review and more of a character analysis of my favorite blorbo.

I think it can be argued that Seymour writing is honestly kinda sad, and he’s also written in a way that he honestly makes more sense if you watch all his episodes in order.

His debut episode shows him doing pretty well, and it can assume that his original show “Answer All My Questions and Win Stuff” has been running for pretty long on the whole bank accounts scam thing. He owns (and is defeated by) a diamond ring, and if we assume it’s legit, he’s definitely got money to throw around.

Over time, we visibly see him lose all his money. His studio is run down and dusty. All his stuff, like the popcorn machine for example, is dusty and in poor condition. Also, we never see any of the people that are supposed to be helping, like the producers or camera people. It’s basically confirmed later on that Seymour does all his tv stuff by himself.

The only people he’s ever has technically collabed with are his brothers. I guess Who Wants To Get Rid Of Wordgirl was a collab, but he fully intended on throwing them all under the bus. Plus, even if he’s seen talking to other villains in the background, it’s easy to assume that His brothers are basically his only friends.

I’d like to argue that Tell Her What She’s Won is when he’s at his pettiest. He kidnaps the host of a different game show and throws the heroes into what’s implied to be a death trap (I don’t think he meant well when he put giant, angry wild animals behind the ‘exit’ doors). Why? Because he was jealous that the other host was more successful than him. Also they are heavily implied to have history with each other but I’m not gonna delve on that.

Fortune Crookie is where we see him hit rock bottom. The network doesn’t even let him have a show, not because he’s committed several crimes, but because him begging on the street was considered boring. I brought up him having no workers for the show, which was proved true when his only writer was a dog who he ditched. His studio is completely shut down, he literally lives and sits in a dumpster.

He’s also incredibly desperate throughout the whole episode. He got so enveloped in his own plan he completely forgot that he had to put up an act and was just begging for stuff he needed (clothes). The thing that finally outs him is the fact he was so scared over his image. Wordgirl pretends that Huggy is actually a fortune teller, and Seymour *rushes* over, with a lot of his stolen cash, just to see if he will be ok.

Not to mention he’s in terrible condition. Aren’t his teeth dentures? How do you manage to mess up dentures so bad?

All in all, I think Seymour in reality is just sad. He’s not some insanely superpowered force or a genius like some of the other villains are, he’s just a desperate guy scrambling for money and fame. That is to say, I don’t think Seymour is *dumb* per se. He’s blinded by himself sometimes, but he has come up with plans that would have most likely worked had it not been for Wordgirl being the most competent person in the city. He’s also shown to have some knowledge with technology, as he makes all these elaborate traps himself. Plus, we don’t know how long he was left to record his own shows, so he’d know a lot about working with tv.

Seymour’s a pretty smart guy, but him hitting rock bottom put him on stress. I’m choosing to ignore the episode As Something As Something because it’s ehhhh.

Thanks for coming to be strange Ted talk

[nyxronomicon]

ever since you posted that choso bartender thing i've been losing my mindddd, him being half awkward and cute, you guys start vibing and your friend catches on and leaves you there with him while he closes out, next thing you know he's fucking you on the bar (¤﹏¤) and afterwards he's back to being all shy when he asked for your number ;-; bye-

YES I'm not gonna lie I've been having bartender fantasies for YEARS bc I had a really bad crush on this bartender at the bar I was a regular at for ages... Anyway I'm gonna treat you to something I've imagined with literally all of my blorbos...

cw: spit, alcohol

.

"do a shot with me." He grinned. Your friend had left only ten minutes ago, so it was just you and him left at the bar.

"okay." You smile back, watching as he grabbed a bottle of liquor and jumped up on the bar. He swung his legs around, dangling his feet on either side of you. It was only just now you were able to see the black combat boots he wore.

"a little close, don't you think?" You shrunk back a little, surprised that he was being so forward after avoiding you all night.

"your friend left without you. I know what that means." He smirked.

"oh? And what does that mean?" You couldn't help but notice he did not bring any shot glasses.

"you're here for me." His smile softened. There was a brief pause. "Trust me, ok?"

"just this once." You smirked back at him.

Choso's hands lightly trailed up your neck, gently stopping on your jaw. He tilted your head up and opened your mouth. You started to giggle, making him laugh too. "Stay still." He grinned. "Seriously."

You nodded slightly, watching as he poured whiskey from the bottle into his mouth. You assumed he'd do the same to you. Instead, he suddenly crashed his lips against yours. The whiskey that filled your mouth was chased by his tongue. You swallowed the liquid, now only left with the kiss that became deeper.

Choso braced a hand on the back of your neck as he leaned over you. Your lips were so sweet, almost like he imagined. Better than he imagined. He bit your lip, tugging it back as he pulled away. You looked into each other's eyes, and he murmured, "good girl."

There was a long pause as your thoughts caught up with you. "I didn't realize we'd be sharing the same shot."

"yeah?" He smiled softly. "Means we can take another."

[year2000electronics]

what were your thoughts on isat, if you’d like to talk about it? it’s one of my favorite timeloop games so i love hearing others talk about it :)

AH YES lemme copy and paste some of my thoughts from discord

that was quite good i liked it! definitely up there with undertale and oneshot as a Real Good Meta Game. i think i *just* miss the target audience who really REALLY enjoyed it (i have a couple friends who loved it too) where the types of characters siffrin and the gang are just remind me of ocs that maybe some friends of mine would have but not me. but i say that very fondly.

likes:

- combat system! both simple and engaging

- art/character design! like i said, they feel more like ocs of a friend than true blorbos but i loved the aesthetics of the sadnesses. my favourite character design is odile!

- looping game mechanics! everything that was purposely designed to be tedious felt tedious in the exact “oh god i’m stuck in a time loop” way. i enjoyed how all the things you needed to get were scattered through different bits of time so eventually, every last bit of new stuff was squeezed away from me. it was neat. i remember doing odile’s companion quest too early and my heart sank as i realized i would have to do it *again* at some point. the act 5 stuff especially was neat because i saw my own mid-grinding thoughts being reflected in siffrin’s own dialogue and monologue towards our “friends” (who were exp-losing obstacles at that point!)

dislikes/neutral:

- this is my only real actual *game design* gripe, but i felt like some of the puzzles in act 3-early act 4 were a bit obtuse. a lot of them required talking to loop at a specific moment, or warping back and forth between the king. but the issue is that loop’s required text is often still greyed out! and also, they give you a “call loop for convenience” button but you can’t use it for the IMPORTANT conversations? idk. it was a little frustrating.

- some of the games dialogue/moments didn’t land for me quite as impactfully as i know it would for some others (namely just some stuff about the group dynamic, the way they interact, how they deal with the de-escalation at the end) but again like i said i think that’s just another side effect of the game catering to a niche of people that i’m very close with, sometimes even belonging to, but i’m also a “little to the left” of. i thought siffrin’s family was sweet, even if i’m not exactly like “i would die for them” so i think it does its job well despite siffrin the character clearly caring for these people way more than i do

- i was originally a bit confused and miffed that there were SO many unanswered questions about siffrin and the king’s country, about colours, about LOOP, and when act 6 ended i was like “wait hold on. WAIT COME BACK I HAVE QUESTIONS.” evidently, some of my friends let me know you do get answers WRT loop if you do secret stuff, so i know about Them now, and as i sit with the game more i do understand that it’s very much a “does it really matter what happened?” thing. but i want to know :( (also i thought the twist was gonna be that the king was another version of siffrin. uh oops that one was my bad.)

overall though it was very fun. i liked the story!

[mad-c1oud]

“Don’t play the hero all the time.” with Etoiles and Slime if you'd like!!! They truly are blorbos <3

nonnie they really are, you're sooooooooo right

Charlie pov starcicle for a change

(more dialogue prompts here and here!! Thank you sm for this one anon <3)

+++++

“Don’t play the hero all the time.”

Charlie would feel bad for making Étoiles wince with how rough he’s being as he plays nurse, but he can’t find it in himself to calm down. Not after everything that just happened. He’s tired of almost losing this stupid fucking cucumber with a death-is-noble complex. It’s gonna give him grey hairs at this point. Grey slime. Whatever.

Étoiles hisses when Charlie accidentally brushes against an open wound along his arm in his haste to wrap the gouge in his shoulder. Fuck. He presses a warm but angry kiss to the back of his skull in an apology and the fighter hums happily. Idiot. Stupidstupidstupid-

“Then what other part am I going to play? You already have damsel in distress covered.”

Charlie rolls his eyes. “Har har, maybe consider the court jester route then, your jokes are getting better.” Étoiles snorts quietly, drooping forward tiredly. Charlie worries his lip between his teeth as he gently rights the fighter. He has to be exhausted after that fight. Pleased, content, and beyond satisfied with the outcome but tired. There’s a slump to his shoulders that Charlie rarely sees and it’s… it worries him. Étoiles is more than capable of doing what he does best, but Charlie wants to protect him too, he just has no idea how.

“Nothing compared to yours, Charlie,” The fighter probably means for it to come out sarcastically but his tone is sugary sweet and just so full of fondness that it has Charlie pausing where he’s winding gauze around the other’s torso to lean heavily into his back, arms coming up to wind around his waist carefully, mindful of the burns to his chest.

Charlie takes a moment to just breathe with the other, forehead pressed to the nape of his neck as they sit in silence. The stress of the day should be over, washed down the drain of the shower Charlie shoved Étoiles into the moment he won his fight, was out of arms way and in the circle of Charlie’s arms, back at home. Whole. Warm. Safe.

But there’s a lingering anxiety there, knowing this isn’t the last time they’ll be like this, but in all honesty, it’s an annoyingly fair trade. For all the times Charlie has to heal sew-up cuts and ice burns, Étoiles has to turn around and pull arrows out, replace broken bones. Back and forth. Around and around they go.

“You suck. Next time, let me play the plucky sidekick yeah? They always get cool deaths or super awesome heroic moments in the final battle. I need to complete my arc bro, lemme have that.”

Étoiles turns a little when Charlie finishes tucking the gauze into itself, wrappings bandaged limbs around the slime in as tight a hug as he can manage. Charlie tries to not actually melt into the embrace, sinking into the blissful warmth radiating from the star of the show. His star.

This is good. This is worth it all.

“Okay. Next time, Charlie.”

“Cool beans. Now unhand me, we’re not done with your boo-boos, babe.”

Étoiles giggles into Charlie’s hair, warm and happy and loose-limbed and safe. He’s safe. “No, I'm the hero and I won,so I am claiming my prize.”

Oh, this suave motherfuck- “That’s it, I’m going to bury you in the garden and see what happens. Say hi to the worms for me, dick.”

“Nononono Charlie haha please- not the dirt-“

Etoiles isn’t buried alive, but Charlie makes sure to bury him in kisses at least. Serves him right.

[disabilityshowdown]

Disability Showdown Full Bracket

Alright! No more mystery, we've got our list for the tournament!

For people new to this tournament, how this works is this: We narrowed our character list down from about 600 to 131 (it was gonna be 128 but we had three ties, so those have been reworked into three-character polls). The top 64 have been seeded into the bracket by number of nominations. The bottom 67 however, all got roughly the same amount of nominations, so those have been assigned places via random number generator, to remove any bias that I the poll runner may have about which characters I want to succeed

(I am so sorry if your obscure blorbo ends up against a super popular kid in round one, that's unfortunately the luck of the draw here, but I am keeping a record of characters that lose but whose fans fight the hardest for them, and we may do something with those kids later, so it's still worth campaigning for your faves!)

I will make an image for the bracket once we get past the first round or two, but right now I have no idea how to make a visual bracket containing 131 characters, upload it to tumblr, and still have it be at all useful

So for the first round, I'll just give the matchups by name, in a list under the cut. We'll be working through this list 8 polls at a time (my pinned post will stay updated with the current 8 once the tournament starts), and good luck everyone!

Eda Clawthorne (Owl House) vs Cassandra Cain (DC)

Hiccup and Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon) vs Peppermint (Hi-Fi Rush)

Barbara Gordon (DC) vs Demoman (Team Fortress 2)

Toph Beifong (Avatar: the Last Airbender) vs Finn Tidestrider (Just Roll With It)

Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs Red (Pokemon)

Ashton Greymoore (Critical Role) vs Walter White Jr (Breaking Bad)

Finn Mertens (Adventure Time) vs Wade Wilson (Marvel)

Kitty Softpaws (Puss in Boots) vs Jean Havoc (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Matt Murdock (Marvel) vs Ellen (The Witch's House)

Clint Barton (Marvel) vs Maedhros (The Silmarillion)

Nicholas Benedict (The Mysterious Benedict Society) vs Jancy True (Drawtectives)

Donatello (TMNT: Rise, IDW) vs Black Raisin Cookie (Cookie Run)

Octavio Silva (Apex Legends) vs Dr Carmilla (The Mechanisms)

Crutchie (Newsies) vs Nemo (Finding Nemo)

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) vs Renarin Kholin (Stormlight Archives)

Amaya (The Dragon Prince) vs Long John Silver (Treasure Planet)

Charles Xavier (Marvel) vs Dagen Underthorn (Critical Role)

Viktor (Arcane) vs Cecil Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)

Taimi (Guild Wars 2) vs Eli Vance (Half Life)

Johnny Joestar (JJBA) vs Floofty Fizzlebean (Bugsnax)

Vash the Stampede (Trigun Stampede) vs Sunny (OMORI)

Drey Ferin (Just Roll With It) vs Kizuna Chieda (AI: The Somnium Files)

Geordi LaForge (Star Trek) vs Phosphophyllite (Houseki No Kuni)

Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows) vs Zuko (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

Melanie King (The Magnus Archives) vs Eugenides (Queen's Thief)

Snake (Zero Escape) vs Malenia (Elden Ring)

Future Leo (ROTTMNT) vs Edgar Jomfru (Metalocalypse)

Janice Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale) vs Jet Black (Cowboy Bebop)

Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) vs Wylan Van Eck (Six of Crows) vs Linh Cinder (Lunar Chronicles)

Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs Peter Sqloint (Just Roll With It)

Bucky Barnes (Marvel) vs All Might (Boku No Hero Academia)

Della Duck (Ducktales) vs Maya Lopez (Marvel)

Jayfeather (Warrior Cats) vs Isabella Paretti (ValorPUNK)

Shouko Nishimiya (A Silent Voice) vs Gary Goodspeed (Final Space)

Violet Evergarden (Violet Evergarden) vs Brightheart (Warrior Cats)

Briarlight (Warrior Cats) vs Jinx (Arcane)

Ticket Jerry (Dialtown) vs Darth Maul (Star Wars)

Yang Xiao Long (RWBY) vs Dulcinea Septimus (Locked Tomb)

Ricky Potts (Ride the Cyclone) vs Helena Adams (Identity V) vs Antonio (Identity V)

Jimmy Valmer (South Park) vs Vanellope (Wreck-It Ralph)

Terezi Pyrope (Homestuck) vs Sam Vimes (Discworld)

Bruno Madrigal (Encanto) vs Custas (Witch Hat Atelier)

Gregory House (House MD) vs Gunthrie Miggles-Rashbax (Dimension 20)

Moon Knight (Marvel) vs Splinter (TMNT)

Shanks (One Piece) vs Goro Majima (Yakuza)

Chai (Hi-Fi Rush) vs Maria Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Kazuhira Miller (Metal Gear Solid) vs Sir Marc (Penumbra Podcast)

Izaya Orihara (Durarara) vs Hermann Gottlieb (Pacific Rim)

Finnegan Wake (Monster High) vs Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Frankie Stein (Monster High) vs Charlotte Webber (Marvel)

Sage Beldaruit (Witch Hat Atelier) vs Susie (Flight Rising)

Urakawa Mamoru (Mega Man) vs Undyne (Undertale)

Teo (Avatar: the Last Airbender) vs Gazelle (Kingsman)

Tavros Nitram (Homestuck) vs Dunban (Xenoblade Chronicles)

Hearthstone (Magnus Chase) vs Gabriella (Little Mermaid)

Tony Stark (Marvel) vs Mera Salamin (Epithet Erased)

Rani (Pixie Hollow) vs Haruka Sakurai (MILGRAM)

Wilt (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends) vs Handy (Happy Tree Friends)

Izumi Curtis (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs Nog (Star Trek: DS9) vs Spock (Star Trek: Discovery)

Juno Steel (Penumbra Podcast) vs Merle Highchurch (The Adventure Zone)

Furiosa (Mad Max) vs Massimo (Luca)

Bentley (Sly Cooper) vs Symmetra (Overwatch)

Quasimodo (Hunchback of Notre Dame) vs Cyborg (Teen Titans)

Nagito Komaeda (Dangan Ronpa) vs Link (Legend of Zelda)