#Martian man Hunter

[confused-wanderer]

Contrary to popular belief Bruce SHOWS love.

He just.. has a very.. concerning way of expressing it.

He never really said it out loud.

Dick coaxed him into being more vulnerable, but afterwards he was mostly showing it through acts of service, gift giving, quality time or a few words they’d know was affection only if they knew his backstory and his thought process- a minor detail he overlooks. Literally everything but verbal affection, because Bruce couldn’t even fathom saying it. He didn’t know how. How could he even begin to express the amount of love he feels for them? So much so that if he tried he wouldn’t find the words, in any language even beyond this planet.

Martian Manhunter once peeked in his head while the other was drunk tired, bragging about his kids and had to sit in a dark, silent room for days afterwards because he’d never seen so much light, or felt the amount of pride, guilt, happiness, gratefulness and awe over flooding every one of his senses.

They were his light. His heart. The best parts of humanity that told him he was doing something right. They gave him hope.

But with having such expressive friends like Wonder Woman and Superman, he was slowly learning how to try.

When Jason goes missing for months (undercover and rioting) - all it takes is Bruce ending a voicemail with “on patrol- just remember I love you” for him to come with a bazooka ready to kill whoever was hurting Bruce.

[trainer-sean]

...why does the parts with Diana making it sound like she routinely is in Gotham? Though, id like that as apart of their routine. Considering Diana is blessed by the gods she is immune to the chemical weapons in Gotham so she wouldn't be indanger like most metas are

The Watchtower Office

Bruce Wayne/Batman : Jordan you’re going to have to stay late again. You misfiled your case from this week. If it’s not properly filed, it can’t properly be compensated by the government.

Hal: what? No it’s Friday!

Bruce: file it correctly next time. Also Monday we’re having a safety drill at 7 am sharp

Hal: for what?

Bruce: Uhh *checks clipboard* tornadoes *walks off*

Hal: why? We literally have a member who’s powers are tornadoes!

—————————

Barry: I hate staff meetings. That’s why I always volunteer to clean the office kitchen to avoid them. But sometimes, I wonder if I need hazard pay. Some of this stuff is literally glowing and if I didn’t have super speed, J’Onn’s lunch would have actually exploded in my face. It might be radioactive. The fridge is haunted.

————————

Clark: and that’s why I can’t miss Haybale day in Smallville. It’s a Kent family tradition. It’s also when we propagate turnips.

Bruce: *sigh* how many holidays can smallville have?

Clark: 43. Not counting loamy soil week.

—————————

Diana: I finally left Bruce take me on a date. He solved 3 murders.

—————————

Bruce: I went on a mission with Diana. She’s very affectionate to teammates. I’ll add that to her file. But the mission was a success and we closed 3 cases in one evening.

————————

Kyle Rayner/ Green Lantern: I caught Aquaman eating salt straight from the shaker at 3 am. He then went for jog. Is that an Atlantean thing?

—————————

Clark: Bruce talks about professionalism but yesterday he flipped me off under his cape so…

Clark: actually I just realized that was one of his kids.

Clark: under the cape….

———————

Oliver Queen/ Green Arrow: I’m in love with Dinah but how do I even ask her out?

Hal: just do it. Go out with me?

Oliver: *very loud across the office* DINAH, GO OUT WITH ME?

————————

Diana: I would never tell Bruce but he got the flu once and Nightwing took over for a whole week and honestly it was nice. We did mani-pedis after missions.

———————

J’Onn J’Onns/ Martian Manhunter: I think I understand the human mating patterns. The 4th season of 90 day fiancé is quite enlightening.

————————

Bring your kid to work day

Tim Drake/Robin: I’ve come to a hypothesis. I am in love with Superboy. But not Superman. Thus, I must be attracted to his Lex Luthor genes

(At same time)

Superman: hu

Batman: no

Kon Kent/Superboy: can we circle back to the love thing?

———————

———————

Another bring your kid to work day

Damian Wayne/ Robin: I have studied the patterns of Superman and Batman and have come to a conclusion that there is a sexual attraction between bat people and kryptonians. As you can see in this chart. Bruce and Clark, Jason and Kara, Tim and Kon, and…

Jon Kent/ Superboy: I will pay you to keep speaking

Bruce: I deny those allegations

Damian: denied. Too much substantiative proof

Hal: I thought this meeting was on safety

Barry: agreed. But now I’m invested and want to see how it turns out.

Hal: same

————————

Jason Todd/Red Hood/Former Robin: as you can see in this chart, villains use swear words at a much higher percentage than heroes. In conclusion, I must be a villain.

Bruce: and that’s the last presentation for bring your kid to work day. Thank you

—————————

Unnamed justice league personnel: *bored tone* this is a sexual harassment seminar to educate you on types and prevention. Sexual harassment stops with your help.

Clark: this feels pretty targeted

J’Onn: I agree. I don’t even desire humans.

Bruce: you both can look through peoples clothes and I don’t like it

Clark: it was an x Ray of your ribs!

[deadsetobsessions]

Ghost King Phantom was an odd addition to the League. J’onn was often the last to find others odd but from the get-go, Phantom was the only quiet spot he’d have in his telepathic field. At first, it was off putting as most of the people that slipped beyond the reach of his immediate field tended to be villains and the like. But as Phantom remained in the Justice League, J’onn had come to learn to appreciate the calm spot in the turbulent sea of his friends’ and coworkers’ thoughts.

“You have taken to me faster than the others. Why is that?”

Phantom hummed purringly, another peculiar sound that J’onn had yet to see any of his human or alien heroes recreate with any success. They sat at their usual spot, face facing the cosmos and backs guarded by their friends. Plus, J’onn and Phantom could look directly into the sun without painfully loosing their sight.

“I guess I’ve always been fond of the stars. Of space, and everything in it. What about you? Why did we become friends so fast?”

J’onn shook his head, a human motion he’d learned a long time ago to imitate. “No, we became slower friends than most, as my telepathic abilities allow for easier communication and understanding of one another’s motives. With the exception of Batman but I have found he is often the exception to most expectations.”

“That checks out,” King Phantom laughed. “Well, I’m glad we became friends. It’s very cool to meet a Martian. Space is one of my Obsessions, you see.”

J’onn nodded. “I see. I am sorry that I am the only Martian you will meet.”

“You are?”

J’onn nodded again, slower. Sadder. His facial muscles, in this form, does not imitate human patterns well and he knew that most people could not pick out his emotions without his verbal expression.

Intuition tells J’onn that Phantom knew regardless.

“Would you mind telling me what happened?” His voice is gentle, the emotions that Phantom pushes at him are gentle and questing, but not demanding. It has been a long time since anyone has asked him of memories he clung to. And so, J’onn J’onzz speaks in the way that was natural to him, the way his people communicated.

With his mental voice flowing into Phantom’s head, J’onn tells him of the wonders that used to be his home. He provided images and sounds of how his home shone as the sun rose, how the shadows that fell when the sun dipped beneath the horizon felt as comforting as a Martian’s first telepathic cradle. He tells Phantom of his twin brother, grief and agony entwined in the memories of someone he had loved. He spoke of his wife and their daughter, and their cozy home on the windswept plains of Mars.

King Phantom sat still with him as the Watch-Tower moved along, around a king and his friend who was recounting the stagnant grief of his past.

J’onn tells him of the virus, borne of his twin’s hatred, and how he watched everything around him burn. How he had desperately tried to prevent his wife and daughter from using their telepathic abilities. He spoke of his failures. He wove together a tapestry of insanity and grief, built upon the burning bodies of his wife and their beloved daughter. He tells Phantom how the Mars now was just ashes and dust of his former home. How he could not look upon the planet and not see the shades of his wife and daughter and parents and friends, walking upon a barren planet that no longer held anything familiar to the last Martian.

Phantom had hummed again, a soothing rumble. Sadness dripped from the edges of his consciousness.

“If it was not for the Doctor, I would be dead and shattered.” J’onn spoke for the first time in three hours. “It is… less painful to live. I have purpose.”

“I am glad that you are not either of those things.” Phantom stood. “Come with me. I have to show you something.”

J’onn trusted Phantom, and thus followed the king into the glowing green portal.

They flew past many doors, Phantom often glancing at him before shaking his head and changing directions.

They stopped at a door that felt familiar. J’onn knew it from somewhere.

“Go ahead, open the door. But know that you can’t stay long. You don’t belong to this realm quite yet. Not for quite a while.” Phantom moves, hand gesturing towards the door without a knob.

“How..?”

“How else? You have telekinesis, don’t you?”

J’onn blinked. Right. He opened the door and- oh.

The door warped with the screaming storm of grief and love and oh-how-I’ve-missed-you that J’onn unleashed.

Because there in front of him were M’yri’ah and K’hym, his wife and daughter.

The door was an imitation of his home, back when he had not known true loss.

“Impossible,” he stumbled back.

“You are in the realm of the dead. You didn’t think the title of the Ghost King was for fun, did you, J’onn?” Phantom smiled and- a move J’onn would definitely engage in petty payback for, later after he’d gotten over the shock- pushed him flying right into the room.

M’yri’ah and K’hym cradled him with telepathic swirls of love and husband!-dad!-love-love-love-safe!

And J’onn shuddered and gathered the his world in his arms to say goodbye.

——

[ew-selfish-art]

DPxDC AU: Ellie was going to beat the shit out of this space cop if he was lying…she might just do it anyway but, like, fr she’ll throw down on Danny’s behalf.

Enter scene following a bad tandem clone + identity reveal where in Danny is captured and wounded, Ellie escaping just narrowly. She manages to get Sam and Tucker on her side and together the three of them save Danny. (Where was Jazz? Why couldn’t she find Jazz?)

Ellie has traveled all over the world, has seen its hospitality just as much as its hostility- besides Danny liked space right? Mostly, Ellie is panicking and, being unable to think of a place to take Danny while he’s bleeding out on her, she just goes… up. Out of the atmosphere and just beyond the satellites. It finally feels far enough away, tho she didn’t take them beyond the moon, she has limits to her paranoia thank you.

Imagine to her annoyance that apparently someone actually watches for biological materials leaving and re-entering the earth! Total Bullshit! She’s needed to make a number of trips back and forth to get Danny food and water and medical supplies- and she’s doing a damn good job of getting him stable. Too bad she hadn’t realized the ring guy following her sooner.

Turns out he’s “made a report” and “will find them justice” and “wants to help”. Yeah right. She throws down with him as best she can, and he clearly doesn’t want to hurt her so he keeps letting her get away with Danny in tow. Danny is sleeping through most of this but a few times he lets out a woop or a go get ‘em.

Eventually Hal calls the only person on the team with a single paternal bone in his body (even if it was only a single one most days). Pulling Batman into a spacesuit, into a ship and across the atmosphere shouldn’t have been that easy- though it was obvious how his agreement came immediately after Hal mentioned the wounded and entirely isolated twins he’d found.

[hypewinter]

Danny gets summoned and is expecting to find a cult demanding favors on the other side. Instead he sees 7 babies all dressed in cute costumes. There's what appears to be the head cultists unconscious besides them. There's some weird device in his hands but Danny is too focused on the babies. Thinking that the cultists had planned on sacrificing the babies and not knowing what else to do, Danny takes the babies with him.

The heroes are freaking out. Their 7 main JLA members including Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman have all disappeared. There is no trace of them at their last known location. Did they get trapped in a prison dimension? Flung halfway across the galaxy? Killed!? No one knows. What they do know, is that they can't let the rest of the world find out.

[airis-hunter]

I'm watch the series right now, and I fucking love it!!💙💙💙

Reasons to watch Justice League Action

Joker, voiced by Mark Hamill, and Trickster, also voiced by Mark Hamill, kidnap Mark Hamill (also voiced by Mark Hamill).

A giant cat attacks (long story). Everyone is struggling with it, and Batman just casually uses a laser pointer to distract it. Did I mention the laser pointer beam was bat-shaped?

Batman attempts to be the “good cop” and Superman attempts to be the “bad cop” when they interrogate Deadshot. As you can imagine, Batman offering coffee and a chocolate doughnut is absolutely terrifying.

Villains fear Batman and heroes are afraid to mess up in front of him, but he still has some really sweet moments.

Batman knows what a videogame called “Boulevard Brawler 2” is because “Robin plays it all the time on the batcomputer.”

Same episode, Batman’s trapped in the game and Toyman uses Wonder Woman to beat the hell out of him. Batman is lying on the ground, likely in pain, and he just glares at Toyman and says “Robin’s better [at playing the game].” This man is so proud of everything his children do.

Same episode, we get a peek into the Batcave. Along with some other costumes there is a Robin one, likely Jason’s (*cri*), which means the aforementioned Robin is Tim.

We get to see Batman on his first case (wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey), in which he watches his past self try and fail to use a grappling hook.

The Joker is such an icon in this. In most media I despise him (mostly the character, not the characterization) (except for in Suicide Squad, no more of that characterization please), but in JLA he’s hysterical. Goes to the watchtower to genuinely appreciate a tour.

Martian Man Hunter, turning to Batman after making a pun: [It was] my attempt at humor. How did I do?

Batman, deadpan: I’m the wrong one to ask.

Djinn, with a creepy and triumphant grin: I am Uthool!

Batman, ready to fight: I don’t care.

Zatanna, to Batman: Don’t underestimate yourself. Little secret: when goblins want to scare themselves, they tell Batman stories.

Green Arrow, to Batman: *sigh* I know it’s generous, but we’re both in the billionaire masked vigilante “making the world a better place game,” so I figure—

Batman: *ejects him from the batmobile*

Solomon Grundy: That’s how servants treat their king!

Batman, with narrowed eyes: You’ll forgive me if I don’t curtsy.

Superman: *briefly loses his powers, breaks his leg*

Batman, with absolutely no sympathy: Hurts, doesn’t it?

“I…. AM…. BATMAN!”

Wonder Woman. Just Wonder Woman being an absolute icon.

Booster gold wearing this:

And there are so many more hilarious interactions like this. If I had a week this post would be longer than the “color of the sky” post.

[piedpiperart]

Fanart for my fic Demon of Gotham ❤️💙

@faeriekit If my classes are boring tomorrow I’ll be writing the next chapter during them👀

[foolsocracy]

are u @/martinimanhuntr on twitter?

yeeeaah but I don’t really have much on there rn. I’ve been using it just to see other dc happenings on twt & lurking but maybe I’ll try to post more art there if I remember to 😭

[the-might-v]

Mr.X/ ManHunter X

On the planet Mars lays a species of powerful Martian’s. However, between the long departed rights between the supreme Green race over the White lower 2nd class system and civil war lead to the planets greatest lost at the hands of Darkseid.

Only one Martian escaped X. A criminal of both Green & White decent X had dealt with the difficulties of being welcomed to either side from the Martian race accused of a crime he didn't comment the alien made if way towards the Planet Earth. And came into contact with Mr.X a special agent working for the government upon, accident killed the human with a mix of guilt and fear of this unknown planet the Martian did the unthinkable.

Performing a forbidden mind technique the halfbreed alien absorbed all the dying humans memories and being into his own allowing it to steal the former agents life for itself. Now as Mr.X the Martian has made a life for itself while also upholding conscience and morality for meta-humans such as SuperWoman and greater threats believing Darkseid may come for Earth.

Powers & Abilities

Martian Physiology: The average Martian possesses the potential for the following power set.

Shape-Shifting: Martians have psionic control of their physical for down to the molecular level. This allows them to a form of shape-shifting that allows them to mimic other forms, elongate aspects of their body, increase or decrease their physical size, and so on.

Size Alteration: As an extension of their shape-shifting abilities, Martians can easily alter their size, shrinking or growing to gigantic size.

Invisibility: Martians can cause the biopolymers in their bodies to lose their ability to reflect light, making the Martians invisible to normal light and human sight.

Phasing: Martians can go through solid matter.

Superhuman Strength: Martians possess vast levels of superhuman strength and are among the few races that are able to match SuperWoman in terms of raw strength. Martians can easily shatter reinforced concrete and steel, lift and carry hundreds of tons with ease and deliver incredible damage with their blows.

Superhuman Stamina

Superhuman Durability

Superhuman Speed

Superhuman Agility

Superhuman Reflexes

Regeneration: Martians have powerful regenerative powers that enable them to regenerate their entire body from a severed limb, they can further enhance their regenerative powers by drawing mass from nearby sources.

Telepathy: Martians have the ability to read the minds of others and project their thoughts to varying degrees. They can also project their mental essences into a gestalt community known as the "Great Mind". Through this, the community can enhance the telepathic strength of other Martians. This power can also enable them to reverse the effects of amnesia or psychological brainwashing.

Longevity

Flight

Telekinesis:Martians have mind-over-matter abilities and can lift and move objects with their minds. They can also employ their telekinesis in an offensive way by discharging telekinetic blasts capable of great concussive power

Weaknesses

Vulnerability to Fire: Martians are much more vulnerable to fire than the average Earth human. At times this has been portrayed as physical, psychological, or a combination of the two. The effect of this is to strip any Martian of their powers as they involuntarily lose control of their body. X has stated that his reaction is relative to the flame, a birthday cake will make him tense but won't make him wilt.

Chocolate: While on Earth, X has found a great love for the human treat of chocolate due to his physiology making him addicted to the chemicals used in the Earth snack, Chocos. Withdrawal symptoms include violent bursts of rage and loss of intellect. However, this addiction is treatable due to Mr.X's love for Kombucha the fermented drink has a canceling effect on the chocolate though it will leave X with discomforts until his strength is regained

[tardigradetheking]

Dceased was good because it took away the heroes plot armor

DC vs vampires is bad because it gave that plot armor to the vampires

[upwards-descent]

I'd love to write SuperBats fanfiction despite really only ever watching Batman Beyond and that was ages ago and having seen all three Christopher Nolan movies at least twice each and the 2001 animated Justice League series

[scootatwoni]

I've been rewatching justice league unlimited after finishing the justice league and I don't think the flash has had a single speaking line despite...y'know...being a member of the og team

[billyb4ts0n]

Today Ive been informed that a cowor- FRIEND of mine is allergic to Oreos. And fire.

I think everyone is allergic to fire though.

[zaim8778]

Lex Luthor is not an unknown name in the world, especially Metropolis. It's just that for the past half decade he has been very quiet. The cause? Maybe because he just found out that he has a son.

Enter Daniel James Luthor. A bright young man with a genius intellect rivaling his father. Daniel or Danny as he prefers to be called is very famous among the people of Metropolis. People would think as the son of Lex, he would be an arrogant young man. But he is in fact very friendly and kind. He is often seen helping some old lady's cross the street or hanging around with other kids . There are also pictures of him online, asking Cassandra Cain-Wayne, the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne out on a date. The way he smiles nervously and blushes in embarrassment makes people laugh and sees him just as another citizen of Metropolis.

People also attributed the massive changes in Lexcorp as Danny's. Lexcorp has been climbing the worker friendly environment ranking and almost being ranked the same with Wayne Enterprise. Lex Luthor has also made less derogatory comments on aliens and metas. Of course he sometimes still insults Superman in an interview but the insults now sound more personal than before.

At the same time all of this is happening, a new hero has entered Metropolis. He calls himself Phantom. With multiple powers that might make people mistake him as a martian if not for his white skin and black and white clothing, he has helped Metropolis many times and is very popular among the people.

His first appearance was during the invasion of Darkseid and he played a major role in making Darkseid retreat back to his planet. His popularity continues to rise as he is much more friendly than other heroes in Metropolis. Unlike other heroes, he stays to chat with them whenever he helps people. It makes the people of Metropolis connect to him on a higher level than the likes of Superman.

Another thing that puzzles the people of Metropolis is the connection between Lexcorp and Phantom. Whenever Phantom fought, the property damages are never high. But if there are ever any property damages, they are often handled by Lexcorp.

The mystery doesn't last long as one day, Phantom is shot by a green energy beam by a group called Ghost hunter. When the beam hits him, Phantom screams the most gut wrenching scream anyone has ever heard. Phantom then collapses on the floor unconscious. The Ghost hunters just about to capture Phantom when thankfully Superman arrives having heard the scream from the Watchtower.

The Ghost hunters use some unknown device and teleport away before Superman can capture them. Superman turns towards the crowd as he sees them crowding the body of Phantom with some of them taking pictures. Superman freezes as he sees in the place of where Phantom has collapsed, a young very well known boy is in place.

Superman is just about to disperse the crowd when multiple cars and a helicopter flies into close proximity. He ready himself for any battle but all he gets is a glare from a very angry Lex Luthor who is screaming at his subordinates to carry Danny to his hospital as fast as possible.

As much as Superman hates Lex, he can't let personal vendetta get in his way of helping out a kid. Even if the kid is Lex's. Superman offers to fly him there instead since he is faster than even a helicopter and surprisingly, Lex immediately accepts the offers and even gives him a coordinate that he doesn't even know was supposed to be a hospital.

Superman ignores his suspicion and flies as fast as possible towards the area and lo and beholds, a small building is standing there inconspicuously. Just as Superman lands, multiple medical personnel rushes out of the door and one of them takes Danny away from him. Superman is about to follow them in since he can't see inside with the whole building covered in lead until he hears Lex's helicopter flying in. When the helicopter lands, Lex and Superman give each other a nod and Superman flies back up to the Watchtower.

Superman then reports back what happened since he kinda dipped the JL official monthly meeting to see what happened. The other heroes are kinda worried and also a little baffled because on one hand, Phantom's current state is unknown and everyone has met him and likes him one way or another. On the other hand, they just find out that Phantom is Lex's kid and has been running around helping Superman fight crimes and aliens alike.

Although Superman has vouched for Lex (which very concerns other heroes because like, this is Superman, vouching for Lex Luthor) the other heroes still decides that it is better to investigate what happens to Phantom. Especially this Ghost hunter group.

The next 6 months have been rather quiet in Superman's opinion. There is no news about the Ghost hunter (which is insane in Superman's opinion because like this is Batman investigating) and the only news that has been received about Phantom is from the Lexcorp PR group and Cass since she is the only outsider that is allowed to visit Danny.

On another news though, Lex has completely resigned from his CEO position and has been seen since he first entered the hospital that Danny is in. No one knows where, what or how he is doing. Currently the CEO of Lexcorp is his sister and the only news anyone has about him is that he is fine(He knows she is hiding something but it's more of worried lying rather than evil lying).

That is of course until a few days ago when millions of nanobots sprung out of nowhere from all across the planet. The nanobots just fly out into the sky in multiple little patches and just stay unmoved. The next 24 hours has probably been the most stressed any of the JL members has been for the past 6 months. Suddenly, just as if on a timer, all the nanobots move and swarm down towards the ground.

Mass panic happens all around the world except people realize that the nanobots don't do anything to them. They merely pass through them except a few people every once in a while. The JL members rush to stop the nanobots from whatever they are doing but no matter how they try, it is just impossible to find a way to destroy all of them or deactivate them in a short time.

Suddenly multiple screams sounded all around the world. All of them come from people that had the nanobots enter their body. The JL is powerless to stop whatever is happening and can only watch in horror as one by one people fall to the ground screaming in pain. The more proficient JL members check their condition and find out that all these people have one of their back bones broken into complete powder, making them into vegetables.

The 1 hour of horror ended exactly as the remaining nanobots declare loudly in a robotic voice

"GHOST HUNTERS EXTERMINATED"

And then, all of the nanobots just turn to dust like none of them ever existed. A few days later, the Lexcorp PR group came out to announce that Danny has successfully awoken thanks to Lex's dedicated research.

All the JL members have suspicion that Lex is behind the nanobots but they can't find any evidence that he is the one behind them. Later that month, Phantom is seen back in action and people later forget about the incident.

The underworld though never forgets and they all have reached a common consensus. Never pissed off Lex again.

[satoshy12]

After clockwork allowed Danny to use his time portals, he started to have fun with them.

Danny was playing with time, or better yet, just making the time line how it was supposed to be.

Like

Danny is in the past and meets Hippolyta and the Amazon while in a battle against Hercules and the monsters of Hades.

Hades was on vacation; let Hercules take care of the Underworld. (Never TRUST A CHILD OF Zeus. ONLY WHEN SHE IS YOUR wife.)

 Or the times he fought against Blackbeard (Vandal Savage) or helped Genghis Khan as a Ghost tried to kill him. (Again Vandal Savage) 

He trained under an old man after he was saved from a cage in the desert for many years too, with his dead wife inside of it with him.

Or the time he worked with Martian Manhunter, Dr. Fate, and a few others against an invasion by Darkseid in the past.

So back in the present, Danny notices the painting he saw a few days ago and thinks it's similar to him: It Was Actually Him The Whole Time.

Danny had not changed to a different time line; it was the original time line.

Clockwork explained it to him: Danny changed the past; it was the whole time. He is outside of it, but not fully; it happened after his fight with Dan.

+

Well, someone should have told Dani about the kind of Chaos her Genetic donor had caused in the past. So she wouldn't be on such a run from so many people! After they only met her once!

Many people Danny has met in the past are very interested as they saw and meet Dani.

+

Short.

Clockwork pulls absolutely favor Danny and Dani over the rest of beings. So they are part of time, like him.

Something like that Vlad would never get away with, and other ghosts would have been just erased or, worse, hunted down by time hunters.

Like a Hound of Tindalos.

I like them; they are cute.

[sully-s]

Batman Quest To Get A Birkin Bag

Ok so I have a very indulgent, SuperBats head fanfic that keeps me company on days that I forget to charge my earphones while walking my dog and to bore my wonderfully accommodating friends over dinner.

Long story short it’s a character study about Clark after his death. Doomsday kills him becuase we do not subscribe to Synder movies in this household.

Mostly its about Bruce grieving and reflecting on his ten+ year marriage with the man of steel with a large helping of the Justice League members bonding and finally getting to know Bruce and in turn Clark. (Kal never really got to say specifics about his life because Bruce wanted to keep his identity secret therefore a lot of Clark's life was private.)

For most of the fic Clark’s dead. But I'm one for angst with a happy ending so he comes back. How he comes back I have all kinds of versions but I just want to share this really silly one that I’m slightly obsessed with.

It’s about two years after Clark died. Currently, Bruce and Hal are off-world for a two-month mission. Shortly after they leave the League are battling some sorcerer who's in possession of a Jinn. During the battle two of the three wishes are used and at the end it's Flash who gets to use the last one.

He wishes for Clark to be revived back to life.

Jinn says he can't do that

Flash thinks of course just like in Aladdin you can't bring the dead back, make someone fall in love or wish for more wishes.

The Jinn is like how dare you think that's not within my power of course I can bring back the dead, I can't bring back Superman because Clark's not dead. he's just in his grave too weak to break out of his grave due to the lack of sunlight.

Flash hears this and immediately rushes over to dig up Kal.

The next month and a half are all about Clark adjusting to the changes over the last three years (Like having a new kid at the manor: Tim) Meeting new members (Green Arrow, Martian Man Hunter), and really bonding with his teammates ect.

While waiting for Bruce's return Clark asks Barry what he'd like.

Barry is confused

Clark clarifies that Barry was able to bring back one of Bruce's loved ones “to life.“ That’s never happened and for a man like Bruce who loves deeply for his family he going to be very grateful and he will not take “I’m just glad I could help” for an answer. So Barry needs to think of something or Batman will.

Barry doesn't know what to ask for but knows that Bruce is rich. He figures this would be a great time to get that designer bag that Iris always wanted but they could never justify ever buying. (Listen I don’t know if Iris is a designer girly but in this fic she really just likes this one bag.)

So Bruce and Hal get back and after the big celebration party, the JL held for Clark and Bruce's reunion. Bruce approaches Barry thanks him and asks if there’s anything he can do.

Thinking Barry is going to ask for a house, pull some strings with his Brucie persona so he can better his life at his job or status. Maybe ask for Bruce to fund or set up a wellness program for people in Central City.

But Barry is just like: Uh well Iris has always liked this bag.

And Bruce is thinking Really Barry You brought the love of my life back to life I’d move mountains (without Clark’s help) for you and you want some designer bag for your wife?

Bruce: Do you have a picture?

And as soon as Barry shows him the bag Bruce knows moving mountains would be so much easier.

The bag Barry wants to get is a Birkin Bag.

Now if you know anything about Birkin bags 1. they’re stupid expensive. 2. If you can afford one that doesn't mean you get to buy one. Hermes the company that makes them has this irate practice that you have to work up a good relationship with the store and the sales associates in said store to even get the privilege to buy a Birkin (usually by buying a ton of other Hermes products you don’t want.) Sometimes you buy half the store but if you’re not a high-profile client or they don't like your image they just brush you off and postpone your chance to ”buy” a Birkin. And if you do all of the above prerequisites You don't even get to pick the bag they "give" you one. Want a pink colorway? Sorry here's lime green you're welcome.

Now Barry has no knowledge of any of this and just thinks a Birkin is just some overpriced bag. The problem is Iris only likes this one colorway ( Size 35cm, Red Alligator Exterior, Gold hardware, Yellow Slik interior ect.)

This is going to be near impossible.

But In Bruce's mind, Flash did the impossible in bringing back Clark (Bruce thinks Clark was wished back to life because that's the story everyone is sticking to. Because the emotional trauma of letting Bruce know that Clark was alive the whole time rotting away in a grave for 2 years is not on anyone’s todo list.) So he will get this bag Even if it kills him. He's the goddamn Batman.

And all this lead up is to what I'm actually obsessed with

I just love the idea that Bruce is running around Brucie-ing it up to try to get in Hermes' good graces but his image of being a drunk playboy is activity stopping him from buying any bag.

He calls up the Daily Planet and starts setting up all these puff PR-boosting articles to up his image. Which starts rumors becuase Burce Wayne doesn’t do interviews so why now?

Gotham elite catches wind that Burcie Wayne wants a Birkin richest man in America can't get one. So they all start getting Birkins. They ware them to his galas, just to troll Burcie. The elite jump on the waitlist inflating the list to stupid long. Hermes starts to wear the exclusivity of Brucie Wayne as a sign of good taste and prestige. Bruce searches the second-hand market and can't find the colorway Iris's wants.

Bruce goes undercover as a worker for a local Hermes store to become his own sales associate just so he can get around the prejudices of Bruce Wayne image and start racking up a sales history. (He just selling and buying to himself lol.)

So Bruce is playing a luxury salesman using his background of old money and Alfred’s butlering to woo potential buyers. Working his first retail job ever. Having to suck up to management so he can plead his case about Bruce Wayne. Using his access to get informed on what bags are currently available, who’s on the waitlist, where they rank, and criteria on how and what moves you up the list ect.

After months and becoming the number one salesman, he makes his case to allow Brucie Wayne to buy a bag.

It’s declined.

So he switches tactics.

He just makes a new cover as a recently won lottery winner looking to burn cash and wants to burn it with Hermes. And starts a new sale history. Using all of his knowledge and intel about what gets you on the waiting list.

He gets stonewalled a few times by former co-workers that he gets around by blackmailing them with gossip and infractions he witnessed or was told In confidence when he was a fellow sales associate.

Finally, his lottery winner persona is put on a waitlist. The only problem is he’s at the very bottom.

So what does he do?

He suties up As Batman and starts intimidating all those who are higher on the list than his lottery winner cover rocketing him up the list.

He hits a roadblock when he tries to scrace a woman on the list who doesn’t believe he’s actually Batman becuase “Why would Batman even want with a Birkin?”

Which leads to an escalation that gets him an earful from Superman who’s called to the scene by said woman whos terrified after Batman strings her upside down over the edge of her high-rise penthouse.

Clark offers to buy the bag becuase who wouldn’t want that kinda of PR endorsement?

Which Bruce vittamently refuses becuase it would cheapen the gift.

Finally, after a week of terrorizing wait-listers, his lottery winner persona is “given“ the opportunity to buy a bag.

But disaster strikes when that lucky break he thought he got because he was next on the list was actually bad luck becuase the person was bumped off becuase they bought the bag that Bruce had painfully calculated to purchase which was the only bag that would be made in the next 3 years that has the colorway that Iris wanted.

So Bruce tracks down and comforts the buyer in the dead of night as Batman. The buyer freaks out and says they didn't even want this colorway and really wanted a Caranery yellow ostrich skin colorway and if he could get her that one she'd trade for it.

This leads Bruce to play matchmaker for a series of buyers that have Birken Bags they don't love and would trade for their dream bag. And after months of fetch questing and matching sad Birken owners around the world with their dream bags Bruce he pulls it off. He finally gets a Canary, yellow ostrich skin colorway Birkin bag trades it for Iris’s dream bag. Only to find out it was ruined in a car crash that was caused by an alien invasion 2 months before that the JL had a particularly nasty time with and it was Bruce’s Batmobile that was thrown into her parked car.

The bag is a mess the zipper borken, missing hardware, leather scratched. But Bruce so done with everything accepts the trade and takes it back to the cave. Where he proceeds to 3D scan the bag then composite a CAD model and starts to collect all the raw components of the bag himself.

Getting only the best materials (much better than what Hermes was using) Talking to Killer Corc on how to find the best alligator pelts. Flying to India to personally pick out the red dye for the color. Mining the gold for the hardware from an asteroid that was threatening the Watchtower.

After he has everything Bruce proceeds to by hand construct an exact replica of Iris's dream bag. Essentially making the most over-budgeted fake to exist. Where he finally gives it to Barry (who has no inkling of the time and effort Bruce has put into this side project that has taken the better part of a whole year) who jokes in saying “Oh wow takes 12 months to run to the store huh?”