Labels are like jackets
If it doesn't fit you, you don't have to keep it. You can find another, and you don't have to wear an uncomfortable one in the meantime.
You shouldn't try to change yourself to fit what you wear; it's there to help you, not to box you in.
It's okay if you're still looking for the right thing to wear. You'll always be yourself on the inside. You have time.
You don't need one if you don't want it. It's okay to not wear them. They're for helping to explain what you are to yourself and others. They are not for restricting yourself in a different way.
Sometimes you're forced to wear something even when it doesn't fit you. Some people won't tolerate you for who you are. Fuck them!
You choose what you wear! It's yours and it's your right to wear what you want.
Proofread by @moonmerchant
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color spending quality time with his dad 💗 and killer is also there ig.
Color belongs to superyoumna
Killer belongs to rahafwabas
I think color would despise going back to the void cause it just reminds him of all the times he went batshit crazy in there. But ofc he has to visit his dad 💗💗
speaking of, I think in color’s past when he was a scientist n stuff, Gaster used to pay a lot of attention to sans and papyrus when they were his main focus, his main experiments, but then he shifted his focus to undyne when he apparently failed with sans. so he was neglectful to the both of them, and sans had to take care of papyrus obviously, until Gaster disappeared.
when color was dropped into the void, he was happy to see Gaster but also angry at him and confused and frustrated. he canonically attempted to get out of the void in a certain manner that almost killed him, and Gaster was “left to pick up the pieces.” I think after that, they became a little less tense with each other in mutual understanding of being trapped in a place with no exit. with the many years color spent in there, they eventually kind of patched things up and acted as family again, as it was kind of inevitable with that close proximity.
Anyway color visits him weekly because he still yearns for that fatherly love .. I think he was hesitant at first to bring Killer along because he wasn’t sure how he’d act towards a Gaster AU. I personally think killer doesn’t remember anything about his Gaster, much like how the rest of the canon undertale universe forgot about him. He also had many other things to worry about and Gaster was NOT his main concern 😭😭
Maybe he just stares at Gaster and gets some sort of nostalgia, but he doesn’t know where it comes from, and he doesn’t like how it feels so he tries to ignore it.
But ya I am very tired I eep ya 💔🙁💔😔😔🙁🙁
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sometimes i think of how the world would be so much better if being aroace was seeing as something completely normal/common. If being aro was much more normalized, it wouldn't be settled that you're looking for a romantic partner and annoying questions like "oh you don't have a partner yet? that must be so sad" are asked to both aro and allo people and it's really annoying for both of them. If asexuality were much more normalized, things like using the words "virgin" or "slut" wouldn't actually be a thing because, if being ace was normalized we wouldn't be pressured or mocked about being active or inactive sexually.
I'm not talking about aroace being seen as "the norm", but if being on the aroace spectrum was a lot more normalized it would be much more easy and not just for us.
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Inuyasha & Demisexuality
i think halfway into writing this i thought about just cramming all my thoughts into a semi-coherent rant due to a combination of a.) lack of access to decent translations of the manga and b.) paranoia about over-analyzing scenes and coming off as delusional (i think by now it's probably too late to thwart that claim) buuut this headcanon in particular is near and dear to me so i want to try and get as in depth as possible.
what is demisexuality?
in simple terms, demisexuality is when an individual doesn't experience primary attraction - that is, the sort of attraction based on immediate observable (often physical) characteristics - and instead only experiences secondary attraction first: the type of attraction that forms after the development of a deep emotional bond.
inuyasha and kikyo
this aforementioned term perfectly describes inuyasha and his relationships with the only women he's ever loved romantically. you could make the claim that his inability to feel primary attraction first stems from his trust issues and not inherent sexual orientation. and to that, i would disagree - he and kikyo develop an emotional bond despite an unspoken lack of trust, which may have improved had naraku not meddled in their lives. still, both find solace in each other's similarities, loneliness, and "outlier" status (though the similarities are in isolation only, if i'm being completely honest) and establish a connection that persists post-revival.
inuyasha eventually did start to feel primary attraction to kikyo during their time together - in the second chapter of the manga, when he compares kagome to her, he states that kikyo "looked pretty."
[source - viz. i haven't been in this fandom long, but what i've gathered is that there are a lot of mis-translations of this manga, even from viz. since i have yet to buy physical copies of the manga and don't have an account for the site, i'm going to be using fan-scans for the rest of these, which hopefully won't really affect what i'm trying to convey since i'll be looking at character expressions rather than dialogue for most of them.]
i'd also note the order in which he lists those traits: kikyo looked intelligent and pretty. her intelligent appearance is the first part of her he remembers, which i think underscores his priorities in this regard. he values things like intelligence and companionship - facets that come to light when developing secondary attraction towards someone - more than aspects of primary attraction.
inuyasha and kagome
as mentioned before, demisexuals don't feel physical attraction before establishing a tight emotional bond. the most blatant examples i could think of this were any instances in which inuyasha sees kagome nude and his difference in reaction - in particular, during the yura of the hair and togenkyo arcs, which are roughly seventy-three chapters apart. there are two new moons in that time, and from that we can say at least two months have passed.
chapter six: yura of the hair
kagome's bathing below him, and i'm sorry, but this expression literally screams "zero fucks given." he does not care in the slightest. not a blush. not a spot of red on his cheeks. not a sweatdrop. not a tee-hee. if i were to describe what he's feeling in this moment i would say "extreme ire." when she uses the sit command on him, it's on the assumption that he's "peeking," but kaede understands that it's actually because inuyasha is trying to steal a shard of the shikon jewel.
"huh?" - he sounds genuinely confused that she reached that conclusion, even though he was quite literally peering over the cliff's edge in what obviously has very perverse connotations. it's almost like he doesn't understand why kagome would think his actions come from a place of sexual attraction because that sort of thing just isn't on his mind at all, and he doesn't get why it would be in the first place.
another extremely blatant example can be see in miroku's introductory chapter: chapter 51, the delinquent priest:
do i even have to say anything. this scene also further emphasizes my previous point - before, the only reason he was there was to try and steal kagome's jewel shard. if his true intentions had been driven by primary attraction, this would have been an opportune moment to "peep." in his words, however, he just isn't interested. note that he could have said something along the lines of "i wouldn't do something like that" (which, if he was attracted to her in that way from the start, wouldn't have done anyway) but specifically i'm not interested. the primary attraction is not there in the slightest. at least, not until:
chapter eighty two: fateful night in togenkyo
the scene i'm talking about needs no introduction, but for context: kagome's half-freaking out after having woken up in a sake bath. inuyasha breaks down the door to come and rescue her, accidentally seeing her naked in the process. well, i'm sure his reaction won't be that dif-
...it's only one panel-
okay, two-
i think at this point it's fairly obvious that primary attraction has developed. besides the fact that he's spent three panels trying not to look like he's having a quasi allergic reaction, it's been approximately two months since they've met, and by now they've definitely formed the deep emotional bond required for him to begin feeling any primary attraction at all. in fact, the chapter where he tells kagome "there's no replacement for you" - that chapter, where he's vulnerable and honest and opening up to her, strengthening their bond further, (ch. 78, a tender smell) is directly before the togenkyo arc begins, and, thus, just before these scenes occur. these chapters have all been building up secondary attraction, and now that primary attraction is just starting to show up.
several chapters later we have this iconic panel from 173:
this is such a look of awe, as though he's gazing up at a goddess. jaw dropped, eyes-wide, words trailing off awe. he's entranced. fully head-over-heels in love, feeling both primary and secondary attraction in regards to kagome, and this trend only continues throughout the entirety of the manga.
conclusion + extra thoughts
my belief in this headcanon comes from not just the evidence depicted above, but because i just related a ton reading those scenes. i found myself just nodding along (as someone who's demisexual themselves!) plus, since ace-spectrum representation is so rare, it's nice to see it reflected in a character whose story and relationships i love dearly.
tags: @nightshade-lullaby
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