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So I was talking with my therapist the other day about alexythemia, and how I essentially fit the description from an emotions standpoint. But one thing he said was that one of the big symptoms of alexythemia is lacking creativity. And I don't fit that.
And like, sure, okay, whatever. I can see it to a point. I definitely feel that I'm not as creative as I wish I was, or I'm not as creative as the people around me in the artists circles I like to be in. So maybe.
But at the same time, that requires you to view creativity as something innate, that you either have or you don't. And I don't think that's necessarily accurate. Creativity is a skill. And, like any other skill, it's something you can develop and practice. Sure, some people's starting point is more 'advanced' than others but ultimately I think the most creative people are going to be the people who put the effort into it.
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#alexythymia#at least thats what i want to think#theres still a part of me that thinks this is another sign that i need to give up#im not going to be an actor or anything else artistic#i need to give up on that and just accept that i work in a grocery store and thats all im ever going to do#i need to give up the dream of moving to a city where i have the freedom to live my life#and im not constrained by my mother or the deeply deeply conservative homophobic and transphobic population of the small town im stuck in#its never going to happen#im just stuck here#and i have to live with that
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In a move that surprises no one, the autism warrior moms are defending elon musk's nazi salute on the grounds that "he has autism馃槩 he was just overstimulated馃槩馃槩馃槩 have some compassion and patienc馃槩"
And I'm here to say, no! That is a grown man who willingly got on stage, in front of thousands of people and a live TV audience, and performed a nazi salute. Not once, but twice.
There is no excuse. There is no justification. And I will have no compassion.
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Neurodivergent sentence of the day: "I finished my coffee, now it's time to go to bed."
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Been talking with my therapist and slowly coming to terms with the fact that it might actually be impossible for me to form a close relationship with another person
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#like#people form close bonds through emotional connection#and i dont express#relate to or even feel emotions#in a way that others can connect to#that just leaves me with one sided transactional relationships#in which i show i care for someone by doing things for them#and i get nothing in return#because even if they want to return the gesture#i cant allow myself to accept it#which is an incredibly isolating and lonely way to live#and the idea of spending the rest of my life like this is devastating
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I used to get cleaning done by having my sister come over and do the whole accountability partner thing, where she would just come over and hang out while I cleaned.
But now my sister and I live in different states, and the only person I know here who could do that for me is my mother. And she's incapable of not criticizing everything I do. So now I don't know what to do
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#executive disfunction#that was the only thing ive found that works
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I leave every social interaction feeling like I should be banned from ever speaking to or interacting with another person ever again because I am normal, healthy, and well-adjusted
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#this is sarcasm#well the part about being well adjusted is
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I think some of you forgot that autistic people sometimes act strange and say things that are poorly worded and speak with incorrect tone and misunderstand or miss social cues because they are autistic
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I feel like there's this idea that if you are autistic then you will be able to ignore social/communication difficulties if you join communities composed of other autistic people, and unfortunately based on what I've seen this is absolutely not reliably the case.
Sure, a group of autistic people will probably be better at proactively navigating communication difficulties, and many people might have certain baselines in common, but everyone's brain works differently, and there is just as much room for autistic people to misunderstand or misinterpret each other in ways in that neurodivergence makes one more prone to as there are with allistic people. Especially given that many of the intuitive social subtexts that will ease things between allistic people are not present on either side of the conversation.
In fact, diverse communication needs can sometimes cause social fallouts between autistic people to be even more catastrophic when they occur.
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Special interest ask game!
What first got you into your special interest?
What is your favourite part about your special interest?
Does it make you happy or sad when other people have the same special interest as you?
If someone wanted to get into your special interest for the first time, where would you recommend they start?
Share something cool about your special interest with us?
How long have you had this special interest?
Have you had any other special interests before? What were they?
Do other people usually find your special interest cool, or do they think its cringey/offputting?
Are there any parts of your special interest that you dont like?
Who is your favourite person to talk about your special interest with? (If they're on tumblr, tag them!)
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raise your hand if youve been personally victimized by noise
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So i work nights and split my sleep, a few hours in the morning after work, and a few hours in the evening before work.
Today, I'm spending the middle part of the afternoon at my mother's house because they want to play a board game.
I asked if they wanted me to grab lunch for them on my way over, they said no.
So I can't bring something for them. But if I show up with something for myself but nothing for them, my step mom gets mad because I'm being "inconsiderate."
So am I just not allowed to eat today? I mean, I'm spending all the awake time I have with them so...
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#social rules#i dont understand#why do i have to 'be considerate' of them but no one has to 'be considerate' of me#i dont get it
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Sometimes, I think I'm not that autistic. Then I say something like, "I should make a chart of all the airports I've been to." And welp, there it is.
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#jokes#i like airports okay
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What kind of joke was it making me both autistic and extroverted?
Like, hey, let's make this guys mental health dependent on having a robust and diverse social circle full of people he can joke with, share viewpoints, try new activities with, and learn from...
Then let's make him completely incapable of forming a relationship with another person, starting a conversation, and understanding social cues!
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#i love talking to people#but im so painfully bad at it
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I separated needing reminders and needing support because there is a very drastic difference between someone reminding you to pay bills and someone having the financial control over you that comes with true support for managing finances
edit: after posting I wish I had expanded this to all developmentally disabled adults so if you're developmentally disabled in a way other than autism you can still vote, just pretend it doesn't say autism
#its hard to say#i do okay on my own#it feels like its harder for me#like i put more effort into it that others#but talking to my coworkers and my sister#i seem to be doing better at it#so it could be that if i put the amount of effort they do id be at their level#but i also have more financial responsibilities#and get paid more than any of them#so it takes more effort to manage#i went with i have a more difficult time but am aboe to manage#i probably do need help with it#but i don't have anyone who can help so...#Basically i can do enough to get by#but not enough to get ahead#or to get to where i want to be
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I still don't think it's an acceptable justification for using person first language for someone who hasn't said they're okay with that, but the older I get the more I understand the whole "youre more than your autism" and the more annoyed I am by people's assertion that any given thing about me must be because I'm autistic.
Like, I am a whole entire person and not simply a walking diagnosis. I would prefer if people liked me for who I am and not because they think we have some special "neurodivergent bond."
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I wasn't diagnosed until I was a teen, but as a kid, they knew something was going on.
Social skills was something that I struggled with and was widely recognized to be struggling with, but I was mostly left alone under the assumption that I'd figure it out eventually.
The 'support' I got was mostly around how to recognize and cope with different emotions. Which largely consisted of showing me flashcards with different emojis and labels on them and trying to get me to associate those words and faces with my own feelings. I never managed to do that, so it didn't get far.
I'm curious to know, to any autistic people who received support for their autism as a child, was the support mostly focusing on how to improve your "social skills"?
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Sticky is like my number 1 sensory No. Doesn't even have to be touching my skin, having something sticky on my clothes or stepping on something sticky with shoes on. I can't handle it.
So naturally today, I get stuck working the aisle that someone spilled something on and then "cleaned up" by spreading it all over the floor, so the entire floor is sticky. Like so sticky, it's hard to walk because you stick to the floor.
#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism spectrum disorder#sensory issues#sensory processing disorder#and im already having a bad day
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