yet-another-autism-blog

[yet-another-autism-blog]

In a move that surprises no one, the autism warrior moms are defending elon musk's nazi salute on the grounds that "he has autism😢 he was just overstimulated😢😢😢 have some compassion and patienc😢"

And I'm here to say, no! That is a grown man who willingly got on stage, in front of thousands of people and a live TV audience, and performed a nazi salute. Not once, but twice.

There is no excuse. There is no justification. And I will have no compassion.

[yet-another-autism-blog]

Neurodivergent sentence of the day: "I finished my coffee, now it's time to go to bed."

[yet-another-autism-blog]

Been talking with my therapist and slowly coming to terms with the fact that it might actually be impossible for me to form a close relationship with another person

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I used to get cleaning done by having my sister come over and do the whole accountability partner thing, where she would just come over and hang out while I cleaned.

But now my sister and I live in different states, and the only person I know here who could do that for me is my mother. And she's incapable of not criticizing everything I do. So now I don't know what to do

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I leave every social interaction feeling like I should be banned from ever speaking to or interacting with another person ever again because I am normal, healthy, and well-adjusted

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I think some of you forgot that autistic people sometimes act strange and say things that are poorly worded and speak with incorrect tone and misunderstand or miss social cues because they are autistic

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I feel like there's this idea that if you are autistic then you will be able to ignore social/communication difficulties if you join communities composed of other autistic people, and unfortunately based on what I've seen this is absolutely not reliably the case.

Sure, a group of autistic people will probably be better at proactively navigating communication difficulties, and many people might have certain baselines in common, but everyone's brain works differently, and there is just as much room for autistic people to misunderstand or misinterpret each other in ways in that neurodivergence makes one more prone to as there are with allistic people. Especially given that many of the intuitive social subtexts that will ease things between allistic people are not present on either side of the conversation.

In fact, diverse communication needs can sometimes cause social fallouts between autistic people to be even more catastrophic when they occur.

[yet-another-autism-blog]

Special interest ask game!

What first got you into your special interest?

What is your favourite part about your special interest?

Does it make you happy or sad when other people have the same special interest as you?

If someone wanted to get into your special interest for the first time, where would you recommend they start?

Share something cool about your special interest with us?

How long have you had this special interest?

Have you had any other special interests before? What were they?

Do other people usually find your special interest cool, or do they think its cringey/offputting?

Are there any parts of your special interest that you dont like?

Who is your favourite person to talk about your special interest with? (If they're on tumblr, tag them!)

[yet-another-autism-blog]

raise your hand if youve been personally victimized by noise

[yet-another-autism-blog]

So i work nights and split my sleep, a few hours in the morning after work, and a few hours in the evening before work.

Today, I'm spending the middle part of the afternoon at my mother's house because they want to play a board game.

I asked if they wanted me to grab lunch for them on my way over, they said no.

So I can't bring something for them. But if I show up with something for myself but nothing for them, my step mom gets mad because I'm being "inconsiderate."

So am I just not allowed to eat today? I mean, I'm spending all the awake time I have with them so...

[yet-another-autism-blog]

Sometimes, I think I'm not that autistic. Then I say something like, "I should make a chart of all the airports I've been to." And welp, there it is.

[yet-another-autism-blog]

What kind of joke was it making me both autistic and extroverted?

Like, hey, let's make this guys mental health dependent on having a robust and diverse social circle full of people he can joke with, share viewpoints, try new activities with, and learn from...

Then let's make him completely incapable of forming a relationship with another person, starting a conversation, and understanding social cues!

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I separated needing reminders and needing support because there is a very drastic difference between someone reminding you to pay bills and someone having the financial control over you that comes with true support for managing finances

edit: after posting I wish I had expanded this to all developmentally disabled adults so if you're developmentally disabled in a way other than autism you can still vote, just pretend it doesn't say autism

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I still don't think it's an acceptable justification for using person first language for someone who hasn't said they're okay with that, but the older I get the more I understand the whole "youre more than your autism" and the more annoyed I am by people's assertion that any given thing about me must be because I'm autistic.

Like, I am a whole entire person and not simply a walking diagnosis. I would prefer if people liked me for who I am and not because they think we have some special "neurodivergent bond."

[yet-another-autism-blog]

I wasn't diagnosed until I was a teen, but as a kid, they knew something was going on.

Social skills was something that I struggled with and was widely recognized to be struggling with, but I was mostly left alone under the assumption that I'd figure it out eventually.

The 'support' I got was mostly around how to recognize and cope with different emotions. Which largely consisted of showing me flashcards with different emojis and labels on them and trying to get me to associate those words and faces with my own feelings. I never managed to do that, so it didn't get far.

I'm curious to know, to any autistic people who received support for their autism as a child, was the support mostly focusing on how to improve your "social skills"?

[yet-another-autism-blog]

Sticky is like my number 1 sensory No. Doesn't even have to be touching my skin, having something sticky on my clothes or stepping on something sticky with shoes on. I can't handle it.

So naturally today, I get stuck working the aisle that someone spilled something on and then "cleaned up" by spreading it all over the floor, so the entire floor is sticky. Like so sticky, it's hard to walk because you stick to the floor.

[yet-another-autism-blog]

^this is my main blog. This applies here as well.

Prelude to goodbye

Decisions have been made, or rather, plans, backup plans, and backup backup plans all fell through, and I've run out of time to make a decision.

So sometime in the coming weeks, I'll be moving out of my mothers house and into an apartment here in hell. Because I'll still be in the same small city as my mothers, I'm still beholden to their rules. This means I will be forced to functionally detransition, drop my "nickname," and be known only by my birth name, give up any dreams of top surgery, etc. I'm not sure yet if I'll be able to continue testosterone, but I'm not optimistic.

I can say goodbye to the hope that I'll ever have friends again. Or date, or even just momentarily enjoy the company of another person.

Additionally, I have to give up acting. Through everything with my roommate, the thing that kept me going was the knowledge that at the end of it, I'd be one step closer to becoming an actor. It has, for years, been the single most important thing to me. At times, it was the only thing that mattered. And now it's gone.

I'll be around as usual for the next couple of weeks. I don't have an exact time frame yet. But once that move happens, I'll be logging out of this account for good. I can't, in good faith, continue talking about trans issues, trans joy, and my experiences therein while knowing I'm living a lie. I plan on leaving my blog in place, and I will make a final farewell post before I go. I just wanted to explain beforehand