#Love yourself violently
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All of this. I routinely get mad at my wife for treating herself like trash.
I don't know if it helps her mental health for me to be SO aggressively passionate about her treating herself well ....
But I can not help it. I see her shrink and I want to take whoever made her feel this way and rip their guts out.
This is the most brilliant light of my life. How dare the past haunt her and make her believe she should constantly punish herself.
How dare life treat this gorgeous human being like so much shit on a bathroom wall.
And I hold her while I apologize profusely for my aggressive support, that I'm never angry, but I will ALWAYS fight for her. Even against herself.
"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?
#Love yourself violently#love me enough to love yourself#believe in me who believes in you#my gf looks at me like she wants to murder me when i fight sometimes#i get it#all our feelings are valid#i gotta work on validating her feelings#but also#fuck that voice saying you gotta punish yourself constantly or itll happen again#ive got your back#i know you have mine too#relationship#couple things#polyamory#monogamy#mental health#self love#self care
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people who add non-autogenerated subtitles to videos are the most attractive people on this planet and allowed to steal one (1) thing from my home. including a kiss
#if they’re competently done and timed well it can be open mouth#I love subtitles#i say ‘yippee!! yeehaw!’ and dance a little jig whenever I can watch a video with closed captioning on#NOT autogenerated subtitles though. proper ones#if you have a budget for a youtube video there is no reason to not add subtitles.#yes it’s time consuming but you can pay a professional to caption them. OR do it yourself#also if you deliberately turn off autogen captions and don’t supply a sufficient replacement then I get to steal something from your house#and it will not be a smooch. but it might be violent#auditory processing disorder#APD#disabilities#hoh#deaf#youtube#subtitles#shut up riley
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actually. Louie poisoning himself compilation. there isn't as much as i thought there was but it's fun to read regardless
+ bonus olimar cringe bc he's not immune to eating the planet either:
#Rambles Into The Void#i really love how casually olimar mentions he's gotten violently sick from eating random plants#sir. why woulge you do this to yourself <3#actually. what's even funnier about it is like.... you only get louie's piklopedia notes AFTER defeating the titan dweevil#and olimar has plenty of treasure notes about eating stuff he's found before that point#(the Possessed Squash- described above- is actually one of the later ones since it's found in the Dream Den)#so for all we know. OLIMAR was the one who started eating random crap he found on PNF-404 first. not louie#which is just really funny to think about regardless of how accurate it may or may not be
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I uneldered Elder Faerie Cookie :D
I'd like to think back when things were just starting out with the virtues and him, he was named Moonflower before becoming, well, Elder Faerie- anyway here he is
not so elder Elder Faerie, or otherwise Moonflower as I'm gonna call him :>
enjoy elder faerie nation you get to see your boy at like maybe confused teen to young adult stage i dunno
tags for some moots I figure might wanna see it: @xaytheloser @undeadvinyls @snail-noodle @onesacrificiallamb
and for anyone who may want to turn him into a sticker and smack him onto an item-
here's the bordered version, you can now turn him into a sticker, if you can figure out how to do it (i have no clue how to do it myself good luck)
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cr kingdom#crk#cookie run fanart#crk fanart#cookie run kingdom fanart#elder faerie cookie#or as i will be calling this boyo;#moonflower cookie#fuckin' love this bugger i absolutely did hella good on this design#i am proud af of myself i am going to violently say fuck what anyone else has to say i did good#LOOK AT THAT MANS I FUCKING LOVE HIM I DID SO DAMN GOOD#WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-#but anyway yeah y'all are free to turn him into a sticker if he want#same with that dark choco drawing i did the other day#the white boarder is there for a reason to stickerfy the buggers if you wish to i ain't go no complaints#you don't even have to ask me if you can!!#just go ahead and make those stickers and give yourself some serotonin!! hell some dopamine!! make those braincells go brr!!#alright i'm out dumbasses (/lh /aff) i'm gonna go give myself serotonin over doodling ocs
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Armand's simpering little "and I never have" has taken on new dimensions for me. Technicality king and also I think very in keeping with his whole malign fairy creature deal. You can tell him not to hurt the bae, but you should really specify what "hurt" entails. Is chopping someone's hands off really hurting them? If they have annoyed you very much I mean.
-questions Armand might pose to Lestat that inspire him to leave the country
#I do think the root of what makes Lesmad so funny is that it is literally the one of two times Lestat has displayed good sense in love#both times his mother was standing right there telling him what to do so take from that what you will#but lestat does enjoy negative attention and fucking around to find out and needling powerful entities who are enamored with him#it takes so much for him to say yes you're hot. but still no#you are too good at fucking will my head and too willing to take liberties with my body i don't like this#though iirc part of it was having experienced Armand's mind whammy he didn't want to leave him in proximity to Gabrielle#once again mommy issues carry the day#anyway#press says iwtv#I have a post percolating in my heart about the reversal of Gabby telling Lestat she just wants to die knowing he's safe in Paris with his#boyfriend#explicitly severing their codependent you're my other half my twin me but a man thing#and Gabby telling him to leave Nicki with Armand and run#but it's actually half a post that amounts to a) this too is a perversion brought on by living past your own death and#b) actually though it's her being a good mom in both instances#like probably the two times she most clearly manages that are#leave this place and me and live your own best life without guilt or shame#and leave your boyfriend who has had a psychotic break and hates you now. do not involve yourself with the sewer creature who is violently#obsessed with you.#she packed up her kid and she left! also did some other things but we don't need to talk about that#cw: incest#interview with the vampire
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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do
#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down#and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more#and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir#youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother#im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg#just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful
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I LOVE when people have different interpretations and headcanons than me. We all see things so differently n it's great
#i personally have my own sexuality and gender hcs for the turtles but i love seeing different hcs from everyone#these are all just dolls we can play around with. none of it is canon and/or will ever be and that's okay#transmasc leo and transfem leo are friends always!!#who cares if people see things differently?? thats the beauty of fandom#we're all just doing our own thing#these are my dolls and those are your dolls and it doesn't necessarily mean we're playing in different spaces with a wall separating us#they can co-exist together:)#if i talk about a specific hc and then proceed to reblog something contradictory.... well isn't that just nice?#my blog MY whimsical rambles#basically: who cares. have fun. and kill the part of you that cringes at both yourself and others violently with hammers
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I don't want to be your lover
Or companion
I want to be you.
What you feel, what you think, what you see, what you hear, what you taste. I want to be you.
I want to be under your skin and know you. I want to understand you.
🩸🫀🎀
#:p#girl blogger#this is what makes us girls#cant sleep#poems on tumblr#not mine#lana is god#sharing#actually obsessive#going crazy#obsessed#insane#death is my end#death is a start#tumblr girls#tw disordered thoughts#nobody understands#crazy#violent love#fuck it i love you#what the fuck#i need sleep#this is insane#i hate everything#i hate men#love yourself#hospital anime girl
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one thing that is so funny is reading lowest reviews on letterboxd and then clicking the profiles to see their fave films and it's always dune or inception or la la land or matrix or a guy ritchie joint or like. good will hunting
without fail
#someone said monkey man was too violent#they also gave django 4 stars#i guess my point is: they always have boring white film bro films on there#i genuinely don't get how people choose faves#my faves are always the last few good films i saw#but it's really funny how the 5 films people choose to represent their taste or whatever are always always always so hwhite#i love everyone who says the movie is hollow but gives saltburn 4 stars#i'll accept differing opinions if they make logical sense and are based in the subject material#you need to have some actual proof from the text to back yourself up#most people do not#anyways. anyone want to link up on letterboxd? lmao
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Once i finally finish act three you guys WILL be hearing about my new silliest little gal. My Durge. I love her. One hundred evils upon her soul. But she kisses her buff tiefling wife and she feels better
For now take these drawings of her. I cannot stop drawing this bitch naked and covered in blood. also I've been trying to figure out why that top drawing looks off I FORGOT HER HIGHLIGHTS IN HER HAIR FUCK
#oc: yventa#i have been in act three for fucking DAYS now#and im on spring break and unemployed do you know how much of my day has been sunk into this game#i played so much that when i got off i started reading posts in characters voices#its not even bc im particularly having fun (i am but also. ough) i just want this run DONE so i can make more lore for yventa#sometimes you become obsessed with a game bc your little guy is in there#and sometimes that little guy is a character you made all yourself#crow rambles#my art#tw blood#tw nudity#i love her so much. i love tortured women. its becoming a pattern i fear#both her and Aviae have that haunted baddie look about them#mind you yventas haunts are more... violent ha#for personality she tends to be more quiet. but by god can she talk#warlock/bard multiclass. i think about half way through the game she picks up a lute as a way to distract from the urge#and just kind of sticks with it#its so funny she glares at you and looks mean as fuck. but her charisma... oh her charisma stat#truly and wholy believe she was a cult leader based purely on the fact she talked a devil into killing themselves. just on a whim#yventa voice 'have you heard about our bloody lord and torturer bhaal?'#i do love redeem urge. im a sucker for characters who have to fight to be good#also this sounds silly but the urges slightly remind me of my intrusive thoughts and idk. yventa not being defined by them is important tome#mind you the urge is very different from intrusive thoughts but idk. yk what i mean#anyways. woe eldritch blast be upon ye
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1. why is it even an option to not try lol. like, yeah, I didn't feel like being awake any longer anyway and would prefer to stress out my already-stressed-out bf. goodnight, Saeran
2. bro.. you can't just get on top of me like that, looking like an actual angel, when I was just gassed and have no idea where I am... gonna make me lose consciousness again looking all pretty like that


3. actual jumpscare. I usually love horror, but V you gotta give us a content warning for that kind of thing. Jesus
4. undoubtedly highly important information that V and his dark web hacker-for-hire can weaponize against us


I bet Rika saw him practicing his villain repertoire and rolled her eyes into the back of her skull. V also said Rika smelled like manure, and she said she's bored by having only him as company. love how these two actually want nothing to do with each other but insist on ruining each other's lives anyway


I might really have to attack this man. not even for the reasons most players would, either, but because if he wants crazy, I am more than happy to oblige given the current circumstances. maybe then he'll realize what's good for him. but since he's a pacifist: it's because you need therapy. there. now go put that secretly-loaded bank account to good use, love yourself, and get out of here before something truly awful happens. like, idk, going to prison


Chairman Han route when. everyone's like "where's the Vanderwood route at" but by the time we get more content, like a reboot, we'll be looking at Jumin's dad a different kinda way. we can fix him if we try hard enough


not a misunderstanding. I am unfortunately in love with you, just as I am with Saeran, which is why this AE pains me more than most. I even - like the unfaithful player that I am - told you that I liked you back in a previous call and didn't tell you off for being weird. let's not play coy now.
there's probably an uncomfortable and confusing tension in the house due to our shamelessness, and we should all - Rika included - just accept it before things get actually uncomfortable and confusing on day 3
#i guess this is more like days 1-2.5#lb#mysme spoilers#long post#rika#v#saeran#his stickers#especially the giggle one#are so cute that i gotta take .5 seconds to recover whenever he uses them#it almost gives me that same (concerning) reaction you sometimes get from things like kittens opening their eyes for the first time#where your inner violent caveman instinct takes over and you scare yourself bc you kinda wanna squeeze it#i googled this and it is a thing#it's called 'cute aggression'#i feared it was uncommon and that there was smth seriously wrong with me#there might still be BUT i am not alone in this particular reaction#do people exist on tumblr on tuesday nights? my dash is dead. well no harm can come from speaking into the ether i suppose#if anyone actually read all this you get a huge gold star lol#rip me when v lowkey comes onto you and says he was interested in you... as if the love triangle elsewhere wasn't torturous enough#i feel like most players didn't care here bc they hate him lol but i don't#and with his route and poor ray#and now you're gonna do this to me-#unethical#also.. @ saeran.. i am so sorry for being disloyal in a call#i didn't mean it baby pls take me back
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i hold so much more anger than anyone around me realizes
#like id beat my father to death with my bare hands if given the chance#and all those men for what they did to me#im so sick of ppl saying i need to forgive people who are not and never will be sorry. why should it be on ME to be the 'bigger person'#I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD WHEN IT STARTED.#im angry i never got to be a child and now its too late. now im 22 and just as fucked up as i was when it was still happening#i do not consider myself a violent person but thinking of what my abusers did all the time makes me so fucking mad#how can you do those things to a child & live with yourself. i dont fucking get it#i dont need to forgive ANYONE if i dont want to. the ppl telling me that dont even know All of what happened to begin with.#milo murmurs#csa vent#tw csa vent#csa tw#add that to being easily irritated due to ptsd and weve got a lovely mess here lol#im so tired of feeling like shit all the time but idk how not to rn#also. OBVIOUSLY i do not desire to commit murder. im just sad & pissed off that they got away w everything & i have to deal w it
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ok do i need to bring out the slides to discuss nicktoonsunite/10 years postcanon dark danny is phantomverse luo binghe? maybe i need slides
#ntu tag#going through horrible trauma but pulling yourself out of it and using it to fuel your violent inexorable rise to power#getting to the top and being like awww yeah i made it. I'm the Good End. I Won!#and then seeing just a glimpse of yourself had things been just a little different#a version of yourself that may be weaker and more pathetic but is LOVED. and SURROUNDED by love. and is able to love in return#and having the horrible realization that youre the alternate version where things Went Wrong. YOU were never the good end. you are ALONE#and... if you can't have what the other you has.... maybe you can ruin it for them too#bring him down to your level. prove that what you went through would have mad ANYONE horrible. even him#also you know dan would casually catastrophically merge the ghost zone n the real world for logistics#you KNOWWWWWWWWW he covets dannys kind of depressing ass life. his family. his friends. his lame ass catboyfriend#anyways. in this au of an au of an au. the parallels are paralleling#also now that im thinking about it: dan with tiddies OUUUTT
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. It’s not too bad home. I’m over dramatic. It’s not bad and it won’t be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldn’t have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldn’t have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents aren’t in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. I’m sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didn’t go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents weren’t both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I don’t know if my scholarship would have held I don’t know if my financial aid would have held. I couldn’t have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I weren’t able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldn’t survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They aren’t going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents won’t feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my father’s gas eater truck. We couldn’t be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didn’t get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I don’t regret it. But a kid shouldn’t have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning ‘home’ for the breaks. I don’t know what I’m going to do.#If I can’t work all of the breaks then I either won’t be able to pay next semester#Or I’ll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Can’t buy gas. Can’t do anything. Can’t buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff I’m doing pulls through. But I’m willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldn’t that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldn’t you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But you’re leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You don’t want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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major ofmd s2 spoilers but it’s kind of beautiful in a way to see the youngins call That character dying a “typical” bury your gays trope, in a show that is specifically about queer love filled with queer characters who have happy endings, where both casual and passionate gay affection is shown again and again, and always portrayed as something beautiful and tender and good to be embraced
#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#‘typical’ bury your gays.......... 😭#y’all rly have no idea what it’s like to NEVER see yourself portrayed unless it ends in a violent tragic death huh#specifically targeted BECAUSE the character is queer#and i say this genuinely with love like that’s why it’s also pretty nice. i’m glad such a point has been reached#but also omg. experiencing sadness and disappointment over a writing decision for your fav doesn’t make it a hate crime#personally i thought it happening was rly uninspired and predictable so kind of feel nothing over it because it’s so blah#feel like they just straight up didn’t know what to do with him#also s3 hasn’t been confirmed has it?? bc this season def felt like they shoved what was supposed to be a 20eps arc into 8eps#and there won’t be more. idk#but IF there is i need him to come back as the ship’s ghost fucking with everyone lmao#anyway i'm not even that old and when i was 12 i watched brokeback mountain and when i was 13 it was boys don't cry#and that was basically ALL i'd seen for big queer rep in media. like literally only thing ever#and the fear it instilled truly was part of me rejecting my own queerness for so long#who would look at izzy hands & go welp better stay cishet for the rest of my life or the devil will come for me; thats def the lesson here#if anything the end scene was about how happy he could’ve been if he’d realized earlier he had a whole queer fam who loved & accepted him#just as he is#END ESSAY
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YOU ARE KNOWN AS THE GUY WITH BAD BIOSHOCK OPINIONS. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#THE ONLY BIG BIOSHOCK BLOGGER IS MOLLY. GET REAL#and get porter OUT of your icon good LORDDDD. ''i love porter i just wish he was more violent and what the fuck ever'' DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF#HES THE ONLY BLACK PROTAGONIST. NO HE SHOULD NOT BE MORE VIOLENT ARE YOU INSANE#and your porter/reed ship is INSANE. REED WAHL IS RACIST. THAT IS WHY HE HAD PORTER ARRESTED#HE COULD NOT HANDLE THAT A BLACK MAN WAS SEEN AS HIS EQUAL (EVEN IF SAID BLACK MAN WAS DEMEANED CONSTANTLY BY HIS PEERS)#HIS HATRED OF CHARLES WAS NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF THEIR DISAGREEMENT ON HOW THE THINKER SHOULD BE USED. HE HATED PORTER#BECAUSE HE IS RACIST. THEIR RACES PLAY A HUGE ROLE IN THIS. YOU ARE INSANE AND YOU HAVE BAD OPINIONS
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