#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother
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faaun · 8 months ago
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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do
#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down#and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more#and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir#youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother#im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg#just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful
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enochianribs · 4 years ago
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Chapter 2 of the Cabin AU is up now!
Read on Ao3 here, or under the cut. 
(Reblogs appreciated!)
The roof had a leak. Dean woke up to a growing wet spot on the pillow next to his. He laid still, eyes crossing as he stared at the ceiling, watching the bead of water run across one of the unfinished boards, suspending itself for an entire minute until it plopped right next to his head. Slowly, his mind pulled itself out of his dream, though the haze lingered.  The roof had a leak. Dean woke up to a growing wet spot on the pillow next to his. He laid still, eyes crossing as he stared at the ceiling, watching the bead of water run across one of the unfinished boards, suspending itself for an entire minute until it plopped right next to his head. Slowly, his mind pulled itself out of his dream, though the haze lingered. 
 “Mmm...great.” Another item on his to-do list. 
 Dean was willing to bet there were more leaks in the living room. 
For a moment he debated allowing himself to be lulled back to sleep. It was all too easy to slip back to that dream again: blurry hands, soft mouths, quiet murmurs, everything he missed and everything he’d never had. Not really. 
 Rain gently pattered against the outside of the cabin, the storm grinding in from the East and then settling its haunches right over the hills to stay for the night. The sun was rising, and the pink sky cast shadows from the drops on the window pane, little spots phantom dripping down his sheets. 
 It was the first morning since he’d gotten to the cabin that he’d slept in past sunrise. Sluggishly, he sat up, diggin the heel of his hand into his eyes as a yawn fought its way out of his chest. He turned his head, and reached out with a hand to wake his companion, before reality caught up with him and his hand fell to the mattress, going through the ghost.
 That’s right , he thought. His mouth tasted like ash.
 If he laid there any longer his chest would become heavy, and his breaths ragged, so he tossed the covers off, and trudged over to the shower. The cold water bit through the fog better than anything else could, and he leaned his temple against the glass door waiting for it to heat up and fill the room with steam. 
 Normally, he’d air dry, but it was chilly and an urgency hung around him. He grabbed the bleach-spotted towel hanging sadly by the door towelled off quickly. 
He wandered idly, picking his daily morning tasks up and dropping them before he’d complete them. Something pulled him around the house. He was forgetting something.
Dean was midway through folding the quilt and draping it on the sofa arm when they caught his eye. 
Two large feathers sat in the middle of the massive dining table (he still wondered who had built and what they’d been thinking—  the thing could seat the knights of the round table if necessary). Tugging the fridge door with one hand he reached blindly for the pot of coffee he kept iced, and nudged it closed with his knee, never taking his eyes off them. 
They were captivating. He continued to stare as he poured himself a cup, spilling some of the coffee onto the counter. He’d forget to clean it up, and it would stain, but that was okay. If they asked, he was experimenting with wood staining.
Dean could examine them once he made himself some kind of breakfast. Those were the rules: remember to feed yourself, and then you can do whatever you want to with your day. Breakfast ended up being toast and jam, and he plopped it down at the end seat of the table, and reached for the feathers before he took a bite. 
The color on the first one was so dark it looked heavy, but it was as light in his hand as any feather should be. He held it up and squinted, twisting his wrist back and forth. It caught the light and reflected a shimmering oil slick back at him. The colors shifted, hues iridescent.
 At first glance it could be a raven’s, but it was at least four times bigger than that.
 The second one was more muted, the black towards the base of it dappled into a brown and white, and it was downy soft where the other was sharp and precise. Yesterday he’d thought it was grey but better light proved that it was a grey-brown.
He’d assumed that it was from the same bird—  creature , but now he wasn’t so sure. Dean didn’t know the first thing about birds. However, he knew several people who did. 
▵▿▵
“Hey, Bobby. Can I talk to Rufus?”
“He’s kinda in the middle of some’in’, Dean.” The roll of his eyes was audible, as someone yelped in the muffled background. “Can I call you back?”
“Please?” Dean asked, grinning cheekily even though he wasn’t there to warm Bobby over in person. 
Bobby made a disgruntled noise and paused, before sighing. “You’re doing the face aren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Fine. You never want to talk to me .” 
“You know that’s not true.”
“Hm.” Bobby replied. Out of spite, he kept the phone next to his face as he shouted for his attention. “Rufus! It’s Dean.” 
Ouch , Dean mouthed wincing at the volume, as he listened to the sound of two old men grumbling at each other before fabric shifted, and Rufus picked up the phone. 
“He lives.”
A smile burst its way through Dean’s concentration. “Hey Ruf, gotta question for you.”
“Coulda called us sooner. We were beginning to wonder if you’d sold the cabin and moved somewhere warmer with pink flamingos.”
The image made Dean snort. Him at the beach? Unlikely.
“Nope.” Dean quipped. “Still here and freezing my ass off. You guys ever think about installing a damn heater?”
“And pay that bill? Hell no. We added a fireplace, what more do you want from us.”
Good ol’ crabby Rufus. “What do you know about birds?” 
“A lot.” As per usual, he was being obtuse.
“Know of any big enough to leave behind two foot feathers?”
Rufus whistled. “Not in North America, unless you’ve got ostriches running around.”
“That’d be a negatory. So there’s nothing you can think of?”
“Nope. Did you find something, kid?”
“Holding one right now.”
“No shit.” He could hear the bewildered tone of his voice over the shitty connection. “Well, I guess keep an eye out. It’d be real hard for something that big to hide, and even harder for it to sit comfortable in those pine trees with the branches so dense. I’d say you’re about to make the biggest zoological discovery in North America in the past century. Keep us posted?” 
“Will do.” Dean said, and he heard Rufus handing the phone back over to Bobby. 
“Hope everything’s okay up there, Dean.”
“Everything’s peachy, honestly. Anyways—” He checked the clock on the stove. 8:30. The hardware store would be open in a half hour. “I’ve got some errands to run, so I’ll leave you to whatever it is a couple of old farts do in retirement.”
“Hey—” 
Dean grinned to himself. “See ya, Bobby.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
The line went silent, and Dean shoved his phone back into his pocket, bobbing his head to the side in thought. Though he didn’t get a definitive answer, at least the call had eliminated the options of native fauna. 
▵▿▵
At nine in the morning, Dean was usually one of a small line of people waiting outside Lafitte’s Goods to needle Benny’s brain for fixes and tools of the trade. Pamela was waiting against the brick wall, hand shielding the summer morning sun from her eyes, reading a 99 cent paper back with interest. 
“Hey, Pamela.”
“Dean-o. Call me Pammy.”
“Really?”
“No, of course not. But Pam works. I’m not your mother.”
“You call your mom by her first name?”
“Fair point. What’re you here for?” She nodded her head and bounced off the wall, as Benny unlocked the doors. A couple of grizzled old men shuffled in ahead of them, beelining it for the plywood. 
Porch season. 
“Roof’s got a leak.”
“Leak season.”
“Apparently. This is the third one since I got here.”
She squinted at him, like he was omitting something important, and popped the bubble of gum in her mouth. Dean started to itch under her scrutiny. He hated being studied like a lab rat.
What was the woman? A witch? Why was she peeling back layers of his get-up without warning.
Dean coughed, and used Benny’s presence as an excuse to wiggle out from under her gaze. “Gotta—  yeah, see you.” Turning on his heel he fled towards the adhesives, face contorting with embarrassment. 
Holy fuck, somehow he’d gotten even more awkward. 
Dear god, help me. 
Benny never pried unless Dean seemed interested in offering up information, and for that Dean was actually incredibly grateful. Most days he didn’t want to talk about anything, certainly not his past, but Benny and his bushy beard and warm eyes had managed to wiggle through his walls, just a little. 
“Benny.”
Benny stared at him from behind the register, inquisitive expression considerably easier to cope with than Barnes' hungry expression. A friendly smile danced across his face as he assessed Dean’s no-doubt rosey cheeks. 
“She’s got her claws in you, huh.”
Dean ducked his head, glancing sideways at the brunette woman still looking at the different kinds of rope. A tramp stamp peeked out from under the bottom edge of her tank top. Dean tapped his fingers on the pock-marked wood counter and turned his attention back to his friend. “Is she always like that?”
“Sure is,” Benny drawled, ringing up everything Dean had haphazardly shoved onto the counter in his escape. “You just happen to be the newest, prettiest , plaything in Pringle.” The burly man winked.
 Pink crawled up Dean’s neck  from his collarbones and spread into his cheeks once again. Christ, there was no escape from these people. Still stammering, Dean practically ran back to the Impala. 
▵▿▵
 The phone vibrated in his back pocket. By the third ring, Dean had parked Baby in her usual spot, and he struggled to tug it out of his pocket, checking the Caller ID. 
California. 
He pumped the window down, the air getting warm inside the car, and he flipped the phone open, inhaling sharply. He should have called before now. Shouldn’t have let so much time pass. In the fall, he’d be too busy to take any of Dean’s calls anyways. 
“Hello?”
“Dean?”
“Sammy.”
Several seconds of too-long silence passed between them. 
“Where have you been?”
Dean swallowed, thick, guilt permeating the small space. 
“Sorry, I just—” He didn’t have an excuse. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“You still could’ve picked up the phone. I tried to call you about six times. You don’t always need to have something to say, y’know…  It just would’ve been nice to know you’re still breathing.” His brother’s voice was basically a whisper at the end. 
“I know.” Dean closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing shakily. “I know.”
“I had to hear it from Bobby. Dean—” Sam’s voice pitched up to that octave it always did when he was upset. “Dad’s gone again.”
Fuck. 
“And that’s fine. It’s not like I’m ten and incapable of caring for myself but I thought—  I thought he’d be back by now. It’s been a couple of weeks.”
“Shit, Sammy.” 
“I think he’s fine. He sent a vague text a couple of days ago, it’s just with school starting in two months I get worried. Not even for him, just for us. I can’t pay for school myself, and I can’t afford to miss anything because of Dad. If my grades drop, I’m out.”
“I know.” God, Dean knew.
Sam was a late bloomer for college. The kid was brilliant, but he’d been dealt a bad hand, and it was a miracle Rufus and Bobby had invested in a saving fund for the two of them decades ago. At twenty-two, Dean knew that he’d already had trouble securing the scholarships. Stanford wanted the best and brightest, not the kid with seven schools on his high school transcript and an overabundance of unexcused absences. 
The guilt piled up and perched itself on his shoulders until he sagged into his seat under the heaviness. It was his job to keep John out of trouble, not Sammy’s. And instead he’d run away from that responsibility. 
The repair materials sat in the backseat, and his heart twisted in his chest. The meadow sat peacefully in the late afternoon sun, just across the short distance of woods, and it still kept its secret. He didn’t want to go back. Not yet. Not until he’d had his fill of independence.
“Look,” He could kick himself for how his voice cracked. “If John doesn’t turn up by the end of the week, I’ll come back. I’ll help. Promise.”
For what it was worth, a facet of his brother’s relieved sigh sounded apologetic.“Thank you, Dean. I don’t know how to do this without you.”
“Okay then.”
“Bye.”
“Talk to you soon, Sammy.” Dean’s jaw clenched involuntarily, as he flipped the phone closed and tossed it against the passenger door. His frustrated shout echoed between him and the trees, but he didn’t feel better.
Always this .
Historically, John would do something stupid and irresponsible and Dean would drop everythign to clean up the mess and no one would thank him. Not really. That was fine.
Family was supposed to break your heart. 
 ▵▿▵
 The leak proved to be an easy fix. 
Dean fought the attic door that led to the roof, following the small staircase up until he was on the balls of his feet, head sticking out as he pulled himself onto it. The shingles were rough, cracked and damaged from the winters, and he scrapped the length of his arm against it.
 The source of the leak took only a minute to find. Five or so shingles were missing, leaving nothing but the wood underneath, which did nothing but absorb any and all precipitation. The rubber sealant smelled terrible, and he gagged dramatically, almost dropping the metal can in the process. Done applying, he plopped his ass down, determined to see it dry properly before he went back inside.
Half assing things had always resulted in a stern talking to in the least, and it had been something he’d struggled with growing up, his mind yanking him a thousand directions until his head was spinning and John was disappointed. 
Dean grit his teeth, purposefully dragging the raw scrape against the rough roofing, the burn biting through the thought, bringing him back down from that far off place he so frequently wandered to. He didn’t even know how he got there, but he found himself lost, shrunk down, smaller than the hand-me-down leather jacket he tried to fill.
From the roof he could see almost everything. It turned out that Rufus and Bobby’s cabin foundation was built onto a gentle slope.
The rain clouds had dissipated, migrating to the flat plains further south, and it left a crisp atmosphere behind. The sun poked through the remaining gargantuan cumulonimbus clouds, sunbeams gently caressing the grass. Grey mist rose from where the creek beds greedily absorbed the heat. It reminded him of the paintings of cowboys, sitting on a stallion, bathed in golden light, their backs to the audience, all the edges illuminated and throwing everything else into stark purple shadows. 
 The burn of the scrape subsided as a sense of peace settled Dean, his body melting into the shingles. An hour passed before his stomach growled, and he climbed back down for lunch.
 ▵▿▵
 Tapping. 
Tapping at the window pane only inches from his face. 
Groggy and only slightly encrusted (gross) Dean opened his eyes and was met by dark blue ones, a tawny human hand pressed up against the glass. 
 Dean’s soul evaporated out of his body, back pressed to the headboard as he scrabbled for the small knife he kept under his pillow. Before he could look again, it was gone.He launched himself out of bed, so very entirely grateful that he’d had enough sense to go to sleep in his boxers and his worn-out threadbare Kansas shirt. 
Holy hell.  
Fingers trembling, he opened the window, leaning almost all the way out, hovering a few feet above the ground.A single feather slowly came to rest soundlessly on the pine-needle carpet. The view from the window remained unyieldingly motionless. 
Black-eyed susans had begun to sprout in the shade, despite themselves, and now they quivered where they grew between the pine-roots even though the morning wind had not pierced through the woods yet. 
Craning his neck, he glanced up, half expecting the last thing he’d ever see to be a terrifying bird man staring down at him like he was lunch. Nothing. 
Dean practically fell out of his room, chanting under his breath in a poor attempt to calm himself down as he stumbled down the short hall to the living room. 
It’s human.
“No,” Dean spoke to the picture frames on the walls. He had no idea what he was denying, but the situation begged to be denied. He paced back and forth in the living room, no doubt wearing the floor down despite the fact that he was wearing socks—  the ones with the holes in the heel. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
Oh my God, it was so very not okay. 
Suddenly, the couch seemed like the perfect place to suffocate himself to unconsciousness. Someone else could deal with this. 
 No , he thought. You wanted this to happen, you dirty liar. Stop panicking and deal with it. 
Wings was human- or at least partially human. He looked like a man. Dean’s thin eyelids fluttered closed, and the image was painted on the backside of them with crystal clarity. Square jawline, arrow-straight nose, curiously arched eyebrows…  and the eyes . They were so blue. And they had been looking right at him. Watching him. 
It was entirely ridiculous that his eyes overshadowed the massive lurking darkness behind him, of what had to have been his wings. 
A human with wings. 
This was crazy. Everything was crazy.
The way he saw it, there were two directions this could go: he could pretend he hadn’t seen anything, and this would be tucked away into the delusion box that he kept under lock and key at the back of his mind and he could grow old being none the wiser of whatever breach of reality this was, or he could go find it. 
The first option was sounding real nice. Normal. Well adjusted. 
He was well adjusted. 
Besides, Dean wasn’t entirely convinced it wasn’t a dream.  this entire thing was a fever dream and he was in some hospital bed back in Lawrence, stuck in a coma. Dean pinched himself, viciously and stared at the white marks left on his forearm, helpless. 
Nope. 
“Okay.” He barked out a laugh. 
He should call Jo. 
After a few more minutes of pacing and hyperventilating, he decided against it. He would tell her—  of course he would! —but when it came up.
The Harvelle’s were good people and they’d shown him nothing but kindness. 
The situation had to be broached with care, or the small home he’d built in the life he wanted to live would topple in on itself, and the rubble and dust would drown him.
Trust issues were a problem of his, and he’d been aware of them since high school, when he’d had too many secrets to keep and any semblance of a support system was states away. 
God, he knew the way he clammed up was obvious, but sometimes he surprised even himself. If he was being honest, there was a lot more to it than a strong need for privacy. Didn’t matter though. In the end, after all the nit-picking and self beratement, it boiled down to fear. 
Jo could keep her mouth closed, but there was always a chance she’d accidentally tell someone, and there was a high chance it would be the wrong person. If he let it slip that this thing existed, who knew what would come packing. And he knew sooner or later, someone would bring the heat. Words got around easily in a small town like Pringle and he knew everyone would be at his door, wanting a chance to see the freak of the week. 
Which… was a thing that existed. A human with wings, that called the small clearing his home.
His heart skipped a beat at the thought. He felt protective over the man, almost ferociously so. 
The day’s hunting trip wasn’t happening— now Dean was paranoid.
What if he accidently shot him? Or scared him off permanently? 
His stomach churned, acid and bile climbing their way up his throat. The burn was familiar. Half his childhood had been spent subsiding panic attacks and anxiety, calming down Dad or Sam or both at the same time. 
▵▿▵
The tin echo of a gunshot managed to penetrate through the thick log walls of the cabin.In a heartbeat, he was scrambling for the ancient shotgun. The front door swung open, the little voice in his head told him to close it behind him, but his feet carried him quicker than his mind and so he left it swinging on its hinges at his back. 
An anguished scream gargled its way from somewhere deeper into the woods, due south of the cabin. Rocks dashed the soles of Dean’s feat and he swore out loud, having forgotten his boots at the door. 
Shit shit shit.  
Someone was nearby, and they were ballsy enough to fire a weapon despite the illegality of hunting on private property. His mind raced at the same speed he ran towards it, a limp skewing his gate every few steps. Stray branches caught the sleeves of his shirt, tearing through the fabric as he refused to slow down. 
It’s just a deer. 
He knew better. 
They’re just after a deer, or a bison that wandered away from the heard or an elk or something—  
Another blood curdling scream erupted from amongst the pine, this one loud enough to rattle the crows out of their nests. They cawed, the sound of dozens of pairs of wings taking flight muting the pained groans. 
He knew better. 
Please—  please. Not Wings.
He faltered over a boulder, panic overtaking muscle memory and skidded to a halt at the crest of a ledge. The scene below knocked the breath out of his chest, leaving a vacuum in its wake. 
Campbell, one of the more elderly hunters of the area was standing over another tawny body. Giant black wings sprawled out, twisting and twitching in the dirt and mud, feathers slightly splayed underneath his back. 
Campbell’s face distorted in pain, a tense moment passing before his wild eyes landed on Dean, the whites of his too visible, even from ten yards away. Blood pumped out from a wound on his neck, and he had a hand clamped down onto it, slick with red, he held a shotgun limply in his left hand, the butt of it dropped heavily to the ground. 
Semi-satisfied that Campbell didn’t seem interested in shooting again, Dean fixated every ounce of attention on Wings and his breath hitched. Smeared across his mouth and chin was a copious amount of blood. He’d bitten Campbell. Dean’s heart swelled with pride.
Good . 
His short encounter with Campbell prior had proved that the man was a bag of dicks, cocky and far too keen on the killing aspect of hunting. It skeeved Dean out then, and it certainly did now. Campbell was still looking at Wings like he was prey. Though no component of the scene begged to differ: the man was naked, teeth bared, but he was incapable of escaping, the gunshot wound in his abdomen bleeding him dry. 
Dean leveled the end of his shotgun at Campbell’s head. “Get the fuck away from him.”
Campbell backed away from Wings, the muscles in his right arm tensed, like he wanted to put it up defensively, but it was necessary he kept pressure on the wound. It looked like Wings had gone for the jugular. “It attacked me, Winchester.”
“And?” 
“You’re fucking crazy.”
Dean would put money on the fact that he looked the part, he could feel his chest heaving, something akin to dull rage pumping through his veins. He prayed the tremor in his hand didn’t betray his hesitation. “I said move .”
Obeying his orders, Campbell stepped back, never taking his eyes off of the strange man. Agony flashed across his face where he laid in the dirt.In his hands, he held a silver blade. Wings looked from Campbell to Dean, expression visibly softening.
“Give me your coat.” Dean didn’t have much time, glancing at Wings, he saw that a red gleam of blood was starting to trickle from the corner of his mouth and his eyes moved frantically. He slid down the slope and went to take off his jacket and remembered his was only in his boxers. “ NOW .” 
Campbell shirked it off and threw it at Dean, staying exactly where he was. Moving quickly, Dean pressed the thick fabric to the wound, moving his other hand to the back side to see where the bullet went. There was no opening there, and he was thankful that Wings was naked. He could skip the sometimes detrimental process of removing his clothes to assess the wound better.
 He tied the jacket around him and slid one arm under his legs and the other across his shoulder blades, lifting him up carefully. Dean had to get him back to his house immediately, before Wings lost too much blood.
One last time, he regarded Campbell. He felt the sneer tug his lip up, his voice like acid trying to eat through the other man’s bones until he was nothing. “Get the fuck off my property. And don’t tell anyone about this. He’ll be fine, not that you care. But you won’t be if I see you here again, or if I hear about this from anyone. Do I make myself clear?”  
Samuel’s eyes darkened clearly at war with Dean’s threat, but his skin was taking on a pallor akin to lethal blood loss. He nodded curtly, acknowledging the agreement, at least for the moment. 
Reasonably satisfied that Campbell wouldn’t shoot them in the back, Dean turned and left, the body draped over his shoulder too warm.Dean’s hand wrapped around, hand feathering over his taut side, avoiding the wound. He could feel his fingers wet with blood. 
Wings was whispering something feverishly, though Dean couldn’t catch a word of it, his eyes glazed over with pain, searching the sky for something with a fervor of a religious man with hell hounds on his heels. 
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Dean murmured, straining to carry the both of them the distance to the cabin. “I’ve got you.” 
Wing’s head lolled to the side, and his body went slack. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, but Dean couldn’t afford to cry now. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to get them inside safely. He swallowed the terror. He ducked and wove through the undergrowth, fearing that the drooping wings would catch on a branch or boulder. 
The time it took until he could lay Wings down on his dining room table felt like hell had manifested on Earth, keenly able to feel life slipping away in his arms.
Once Dean managed to put Wings on the table without his head smacking the wood, he tore the kitchen apart for salt and a bowl of water and some clean washcloths, and sprinted to the bathroom, yanking the drawers out and emptying their contents onto the counter and sink until his eyes landed on the tweezers and isopropyl alcohol.
It wasn’t a perfect med kit, but there was no other choice. It had to do. 
Dean approached the table cautiously, worried that too much movement would set him off. The dark wingspan spread out almost three feet on either side of the table and Dean swallowed a stone.
He had no idea what to do next, not really. The closest experience he’d had to being a doctor had been treating John’s stab wound when he was thirteen and John had come home more beaten than usual.  
He stared helplessly down at Wings.  
“He...help.” Wings voice was like a ghost’s, he barely heard it, and he was standing right next to him. He looked up at the cobwebbed chandelier lighting like it was something holy and mesmerizing and Dean realized he was losing him. 
“Shhh… it’s okay.” His forehead was sticky with sweat and drying blood, and Dean pushed some of the unruly black wisps from his eyes, humming low. “I’m gonna help you.” 
Wings hand shook, following the edge of the table, feverishly searching for something to hold onto. Tentatively, Dean slid his fingers between his, feeling his calloused palm against his own. “Wings. Wings, you gotta listen to me. Wings, please . You have to lay still.”
He had no idea if the man understood a single word he was saying, but it seemed to do the trick. Over the span of a terrible minute, his breathing slowed down, and his grip on Dean’s hand went from frail to almost bone crushingly alive. 
Wings’ blue eyes were on him, flickering a little in the low light. Dean waited, untrained, unable and unwilling to play operation on him while he was still conscious, eyes desperate to look at anything but the daunting task before him. 
Eventually, he passed out, his painful grimace replaced by a soft one, and Dean began to remove the shrapnel bullet, praying to anyone who was listening that it had not shredded his insides beyond repair. 
 ▵▿▵
 At some point in the night, Dean had gotten up to draw the curtains and lock the door, willing to sacrifice only a moment to seal them away from the rest of the world. 
 Now, sunlight pierced through the cracks, illuminating them both in thin lines of white light. He watched Wings toss and turn, his face gnarling into pain each time he moved.
 What if Dean had fucked it up? What if the next breath he drew was his last? His mind raced, punishing him for every moment’s hesitation that could very well lead to his death. 
 Dean caught himself following Wings jawline, examining the stark contours of his face like he would never see them again. Please, just please make it out alive.
 “Don’t die on me, Wings.” The words slipped out subconsciously. “Please, God, don’t die on me.”
 Dean had the decency to cover him up with the quilt. The two’s hands were still tightly entwined long after the heartbeat in Wing’s wrist lulled Dean into sleep, tumbling heart over head. 
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ryan87potter-blog · 6 years ago
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How To Do well With Residence Advancement Projects Today!
When ΗΛΕΚΤΡΟΛΟΓΟΙ comes time for you to start bettering your residence, you may surprise in which to start, as there are so many factors to think about when buying equipment, studying laws, and learning strategies. The suggestions in this write-up can give you with what you want to know to aid you get commenced. Replacing ΗΛΕΚΤΡΟΛΟΓΟΙ can be a breath of fresh air. Carpets can be a hotbed of allergens making your own home hard to reside in. Consider changing your carpets with hardwood, tile, or laminate flooring for a more healthy residing surroundings. Difficult floor flooring will also give an up to date seem to your property. You have to have a drill if you are doing home enhancements. You can make holes and even attach screws. Make certain you have a drill that is cordless and battery operated with a least of 9 volts. You should also have drill bits of various dimensions and screw attachments. A great way to allow outside mild inside your kitchen area is by utilizing small window coverings. Making use of dark drapery and valances can block out normal lighting and make your kitchen area seem dim. Employing a mild coloured curtain or sheer, can be a wonderful support in lights up your kitchen area, the all-natural way. Create a visually satisfying bookcase with the use of some wallpaper. First, choose a design and style that you like. Then you simply fix the wallpaper into the rear of the bookcase, so that it will be obvious driving your publications. This small glimpse of wallpaper will draw in consideration from throughout the area. Clean up the exterior of your home. Sometimes all it will take to make your property look and come to feel better is a little TLC on the outdoors. Trim the shrubs and pull the weeds out of the flower mattress. Incorporate some decorative landscape lighting and make sure that all of the outdoors gentle fixtures are in appropriate working get. If you are renting out a home, be confident to reply instantly to your tenant. If your tenant phone calls to permit you know about a dilemma, try to have it fixed as shortly as attainable. When you repair a dilemma instantly it can help you prevent additional hurt. It can also have a positive influence on your romantic relationship with your tenant. If you have older ceiling enthusiasts in your residence, a basic house advancement is to substitute the blades of the supporter. This is cheaper than buying a new fixture. Also, if your fixtures match, changing just the blades permits you to preserve the established intact. New ceiling supporter blades can give your place a just-renovated search with nominal hard work and expenditure. If you have an in-floor or over-ground swimming pool, make investments the additional funds to develop a safe, gated fence all around the perimeter of the pool. This will increase the price of your property, but its most crucial perform is to avert youngsters or animals from wandering also shut to the pool and jeopardizing accidental falls or drowning. As soon as you've got laid tile, you ought to usually take the time to seal your grout. The grout you use will be porous. When it isn't sealed, it can become moldy. In addition, grout that isn't sealed will stain really effortlessly. ΗΛΕΚΤΡΟΛΟΓΟΙ is sealed grout easier to thoroughly clean and much more attractive, it may preserve you a whole lot of money by stopping high-priced-to-mend mildew problems. You need to make an effort to drain the h2o out of your very hot water at the very least two times for each calendar year. Hot drinking water heaters that get suitable servicing expense less to run and have a for a longer time provider existence. This tasks just demands you to find the drain valve, connect your hose and flip the valve just as you would a spigot. Try portray your doorways and shutters with high gloss paint for pizazz. A home with a light-weight exterior siding shade is complemented properly with a darker shade paint. Contemplate introducing a lighter paint to shutters or doorways when you have a dim exterior colour to your property. Find a contractor who is easy to operate with and is reputable. Having a contractor that you have confidence in is really essential, but you also want to be certain that they are listening to any worries you have. If a contractor does not pay attention, they might do some thing that you advised them not to do. Your contractor should be obtainable to listen to every thing you have to say. Just before generating renovations on your house, you must make confident that you know your price range. Or else, you could stop up with a house renovation project that you can not find the money for to comprehensive. Producing a spending budget is vital to producing sure you can safely and securely find the money for likely by way of on a renovation task. Buy your developing components at re-use shops this sort of as Habitat For Humanity's Re-Store. When you do this, you are conserving sources and recycling your income by investing it in your possess property and in offering residences for the homeless. If you employ the service of a contractor, make sure s/he does not toss out usable resources. Both re-use them oneself or donate them to the Re-Retailer. If you have a minimal price range for updating your residence and want to make the biggest influence benefit-clever, tackle your kitchen area. New counter tops, cupboards, flooring, fixtures and appliances can add each worth and attraction to your home if you choose to market it, and you can appreciate the updates oneself if you strategy on remaining a whilst. If you have selected to substitute your roof with a metallic one particular and need a vent there are different kinds that you can use. For every single kind of roof type you will need to select the 1 that will be the most efficient for you. Do your analysis and choose sensibly. Some men and women listen to the phrases home advancement and instantly think disaster, but this isn't going to always have to be the circumstance. You are going to strike snags in most residence improvement projects, so if you are making an attempt to tackle the plumbing, you may want to go away that to the specialists, to steer clear of a key house enhancement blunder. A excellent rule of thumb is if your not positive inquire. As you have observed, house-improvement tactics, even though various, share many fundamentals. They just vary in conditions of positions and charges. All it will take to choose in between them is some research and frequent sense to discover the greatest tools and tactics that will work with you, your funds, and your property.
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