#Let’s Get Ridiculous

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Can’t decide what’s funnier- Benoit Blanc meeting his husband during a high stakes murder mystery or Benoit Blanc meeting his husband at like, the grocery store

[itscherryterry-again]

yea

[gay-jesus-probably]

I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

[aspen-charminghearts]

The First Time Red Caught the Seasonal Auradonian Cold:

Chloe: Oh dear, you’re burning up a fever. You’re at 101.2 F if it gets any worse I’ll have to take you to the hospital-

Red: But I’m not sick, if I was sick would I be able to do this?? [Intensely stares at Chloe]

Chloe:

Chloe: Red what do you think you’re doing?

Red confused: Parkour. Am I not doing it?

Chloe: . . .

Chloe: No my dear you are not… But based in this I now know I should probably take you to the hospital now.

Red delirious and whiny: NO! NO hospital! I am NOT sick!

Chloe: Oh this is going to be a battle..

[rt3nenbaum]

new addition to the stage 5 webbonso moment from yesterday, they were actually driving to the airport together because they shared a plane (george, valtteri and jack doohan were also there)

[meyerlansky]

#hboww2rewatch timestamp roulette: MASTERS OF THE AIR, PART TWO ↳ rank has its privileges, boys.

[bookshelfdreams]

oh for fucks sake

no, seeing someone in their undies is not, in general, sexual harassment. someone alluding to the fact that they think they're sexy or like to fuck is not sexual harassment. making lewd jokes in public, in front of an audience, isn't harassment either.

Sex and nudity aren't harmful on principle. You can say you disagree with someone without accusing them of very serious crimes. Like, I get that people are upset about a dude's opinions, but ultimately, it's not that important, you can't stop people from Reading The Text Wrong, and it would be extremely cool if we could all just chill.

[franeridart]

The Housecat Philosophy - Ep 37

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Read the next four episodes on Patreon || support me on ko-fi~✨

[stil-lindigo]

the flippancy people use to acknowledge the horrific genocide happening in Gaza and the West Bank right now in their haste to label any critique of Israel as anti-semitism while Israeli officials will go on live tv to assert for the millionth time that yes, they do in fact want to ethnically cleanse Palestine is so infuriating.

[cupidgnome]

Madison and Brent met a couple at the gym, Eden and Tyler! + going out for dinner, overcoming fears of unfulfilled dreams and... a unexpected ending...

+bonus pics!

But Madi rhymes with Baddie so she put Grim Reaper in his place and saved her man! 💅

[lilacthebooklover]

i love the joke about Pete looking like the homeless guy from downtown for all of its many layers but also,, richie said "he gets pretty scary sometimes".

i want to see richie and homeless ted interact. i want Midly Scary ted who has so many issues. i want richie to just sorta,,, walk by him on the way to school sometimes and make very awkward conversation with him and give him money bc ted is Pretty Scary yknow? i want ted to wind up living in his basement somehow. i want the nichest most random chatacter dynamics like this to be explored akdjksjdkfn

[eremin0109]

@vancityreynolds Have you considered a shot for shot remake of the Honda Odyssey scene but this time in the tiny ass bedroom of Wade's apartment?

They end up fighting on the bed, the last shot we see of Wade pinning Logan into the pillows while claws sink knuckle-deep into Wade's hip and the camera pans downwards to just show the bed rocking until day becomes night.

[corsairspade]

Halenthir scenario where they get married for tax benefits (in a platonic good friends sort of way) and fall in love long distance via sending each other letters with ideas on how to best leverage their marriage for tax evasion.

[bi-scottsummers]

Hi, hello, just came here to say that I love your fic "trending in Japan". I was wondering if you had headcanons regarding Kenji or Emi or interpersonal relationships and stuff. Many hugs for you.

hi hello, thank you for the encouragement and hugs! After some thought ive realized I do in fact have some hcs about some of the character dynamics in the movie as well as just kenji himself, cause hes captivated my entire brain:

Kenji & Emi

Emi does not have teeth but she does inexplicably have a teething phase. kenji is forced to hide all his (salvaged) fancy cars in the garage bc the corvette's already been chewed to hell and his heart is gonna give out if he has to watch any more classics get wrecked

he reads her bedtime stories. A lot of aesop's fables, because theyre short and fun and hes trying to raise his monster daughter with good morals. emi goes hogwild for these but its unclear if she actually understands what hes saying; kenji's pretty sure she just likes the silly voices he uses for different characters

they go flying together! they go first thing in the morning before breakfast - it helps kenji shake off the grogginess of sleep and emi gets to stretch her wings. shes not able to go very far for very long initially, but as she grows and gets those cardio gainz she almost gets to be quicker than him. they have races and play air tag :)

while she doesnt have the vocal range to speak english herself, it becomes clear that emi does understand it well. (kenji also develops an ear for her chirping/squawks, though body language & facial expressions play a big part in communication for both of them) during her (much later) rebellious phase she'll simply pretend not to know what's being said when kenji is telling her to do something she doesn't wanna do, which frustrates him to no end

Kenji

developed a pretty massive chip on his shoulder after moving to the states. it wasn't just bitterness over his dad staying behind, though that was a part of it. this is canon but he was picked on in school for "how [he talked], how [he looked] and what [he ate]." he felt like he had something to prove to both his father and the world. he threw himself into sports - specifically baseball - and his academics, and he did so well that it forced everyone to shut up about how he was different from them and focus on how he was better than them

^ playing off this: kenji had a bonkers fucking yonkers routine when he was a kid/in highschool. he'd get up hours before school started to practice his swing, go for a ~1hr run, workout, study, etc. He'd go to school, come home, and do it all again. this is exaggerated but my point is that this kid was DETERMINED and had the discipline to see that determination through to the end

didnt have many friends because of all aforementioned things. he had acquaintances, and he was invited to parties and outings and stuff (never went), but he spent most of his free time hanging out with his mom. he never really had a "parents are so embarrassing" phase. he always liked to do anything with his mother: going to the bank, going grocery shopping, watching cheesy telenovelas till ungodly hours in the morning, etc. she was his no.1 supporter, confidant, and best friend

he played for his university's baseball team and got scouted at 19. his mom forced him to finish his bachelor's first so once he graduated with his degree in kinesiology at 21, he was drafted to the dodgers

Kenji & Ami

both of them, up until meeting each other, were totally dedicated to their career (and child) so they had basically 0 time for friends. theyre both borderline losers but theyre juuust good enough at what they do for people to admire them instead of finding them sad and lowkey pathetic

kenji is way more into the idea of being friends than ami is. hes pretty enthusiastic about it; he thinks that they have a kind of rapport, since they share a similar work ethic and are both (unbeknownst to ami) single parents. he calls her to chat abt random things. ami initially isnt superrrr into it; she thinks kenji is kinda lonely and desperate for human connection, & it isnt until her mom points out that she has not spoken to anyone outside of work-related reasons in 10+ years that shes like oh shit, i am also lonely and desperate for human connection. so she grudgingly acquires a friend. theyre both really bad at it

need to clarify that in my mind their dynamic is 95% kenji yapping about work and drama in his personal life (circumventing the 8m baby kaiju hes raising) while ami goes "mhm mhm" and takes notes until kenji notices and is like What are you doing. at which point ami is like...... right . nothing. im listening. and forces herself to put the notepad away. she has a hard time disengaging from the reporter mindset and just hearing something intriguing without turning it into an article. the other 5% are the rare moments where theyre connecting super well - ami's psychoanalyzing the hell out of whatever kenji just said and hes like what are you my therapist. over time she starts opening up to him, too, and eventually theyre comfortable enough to be having philosophical discussions over breakfast just for funsies

before kenji reveals that hes ultraman, ami thinks hes in a gang. he keeps showing up to their lunch "dates" with like bruised eyes and fractured bones and gets all shifty when she tries to ask about what happened. when she eventually confronts him about it, hes so offended that she thinks hed be involved in something like that that he tells her about being ultraman

thats about all i can think of rn, though im sure ill think of more after rotating all the characters in my head for a while. thanks again for stopping in, i appreciate the support :)

[moonkhao]

hi.

[martybaker]

I aboslutely want Jenny to go with dead boy detectives to London but I don’t think she’s the spontaneous type, and moreover, it would be funnier if one day when she’s getting ready for bed, she has a melancholic music on and is taking off her makeup in the bathroom, definitely not missing her friends former lodgers, Edwin’s head pop’s out of the mirror

Jenny, nearly jumping out of her skin: “For fuck’s sake! Are you fucking kidding me!”

Edwin: “I’m terribly sorry for the interruption, but we’re in need of your assistance” - and he yanks her through the mirror into their London office, in her night shirt, one eye without makeup

I’m not sure what they need her butcher’s expertise for exactly, but it has to do with a gruesome case, and the first day she is jet-lagged and has to borrow Crystal’s clothes because “I got pulled here against my will in nothing but my night shirt!”

Anyways she stays forever and gets a job as a bartender at The New Inn