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quatschmachen · 8 years ago

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Limerence

2020 arc

Limerence:

lim·er·ence /limərəns/

noun: limerence; plural noun: limerences

“the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.”

If there was anything that could be said concerning meetings it is that often, on the very last day, between the back and forth, rustling of paper, and long winded speeches, progress was finally being made. The morning pulled on thick like molasses, and Ed was relieved when lunchtime was announced. Étienne had been following him around the past few days like a shadow, and today was no different as they entered the lunch room to heat up the leftover stew.

“Are we going to sit outside today?” Étienne asked as he looked around the lunchroom.

“Yeah,” Ed responded, “I have been trying not to stare out the window all morning, but the sunshine is haunting me. I need to get the D.”

“Calvin not providing?” Étienne responded coyly enjoying the confused, and then embarrassed expression upon Ed’s face as he realized what he had just said.

“Uhh… Vitamin D… uhm… well, looks like our lunches are warmed up.” He opened the microwave, and then produced two small kitchen towels. He swaddled the bottom of each of the dishes, and handed one to Étienne. “So we don’t burn our hands.” Placing his on the counter, he grabbed his bag and then picked it up again. “Any ideas for where to sit?”

“Hmmn, well why don’t we try on one of those benches on the other side of Churchill? Change things up a bit?”

“Sounds great.” In well practiced coordination they headed out of the building, their pace fast as they walked towards Churchill, attempting to beat the other office workers with a similar idea. Edward was sad that this would be the last lunch with Étienne, and while usually he did spend Fridays in the lunchroom he wanted to be able to savour this last time alone.

As they nabbed one of the benches, he made sure to sit not too far away from Étienne, he did not want to give the wrong impression of avoidance. When Calvin had sprung Étienne upon him a few days ago he had been conflicted as to how to feel. Yes they were friends, but he had not expected Calvin to pull a move like that. He had been trying to walk the tightrope between friend and lover. Did their level of friendship involve touching each other casually? Was he touching Étienne too much? Calvin did not seem to mind him playing with Étienne’s hair, so he had put that on the OK To Do list, but he was unsure whether hugging was alright. Perhaps it would be, but then he was not sure how he felt about the idea of hugging Étienne. Everything was so confusing and he hated that every time he assumed it was figured out Étienne would reappear and throw everything back into the air.

Staring towards rusted twisted sculpture of… he had forgotten what, he absentmindedly loosened his tie, and unbuttoned the first two buttons, loosening his collar, trying to cool down. The summer air hung hot around them, pressing in like an unwanted hug from the stinky uncle.

“Geez, I think I’m going to melt,” he said, “Regretting having a hot lunch, no matter how delicious it is.” He waved his hand over it in a futile attempt to cool it down.

Beside him Étienne had paused eating, his eyes locked upon the newly exposed neck. Slowly he brought the spoon to his mouth, as if thinking.

“What? Why are you staring at me?” Ed frowned feeling suddenly ridiculously exposed.

“Ahem…” Étienne set down the container beside him on the bench, and then reached over, his fingers rebuttoning the shirt, “I am not sure how to say this, but I think you having the shirt open may lead to an embarrassing situation for you… mainly because of the large hickeys on the side of your neck and lower collar bone which were being exposed.” Deftly he also moved the tie up into a closer knot, and smiled at the mortified look upon Ed’s face.

“Uerhh, thank you there, I had completely forgot about that.” He managed to respond, trying to figure out the meaning behind Étienne’s eyes; he felt like there was a message there he was not getting, but Étienne looked away, breaking the contact.

“No problem,” Étienne had picked up his container and was once more eating his food like a starving person.

One of the perks of Étienne visiting was the fact that he and Calvin had been having some very passionate sex. Edward’s mind reflected on how last night Calvin had spent a very thorough time going over his body, marking it, whispering sweet words of possession. The entire thing had been very hot, but he had not wanted Étienne to know or witness any aspects of that.

After a couple bites of his own food, Ed gave a snort of laughter, and upon Étienne’s glance, he said, “Well I guess now you do know, Calvin is providing the D?”

“Oh…” Étienne gave a small laugh. “True.”

“Thank god this transit meeting is nearly over,” Ed switched topics, not liking how Étienne’s voice seemed a little forced. The past three days he had felt helpless around Étienne, where before he knew exactly what to do, now it was like watching his friend slowly crumble in front of him, with no amount of masonry to put him back together. Étienne was secretive around him, he could tell he was holding back, words between them that once were so easy now tightly held secrets. It made Ed wonder how much they had managed to ignore by having sex. Had sex been connecting or separating? A method to not say anything that needed to be said? Having taken sex out of the equation, the gaps between them were achingly obvious, and he had no idea of how to bridge them. Was it actually possible to be friends from lovers?

“Yeah, I am glad Edith has decided to spare my life today,” Étienne lightly joked as his spoon scraped around the container searching for the remaining food.

Ed wished there could be some way where he could travel back in time, and begin at square one with Étienne, begin simply as friends and develop that way. The thing with Calvin is he had not really needed to act around him, hell he did not think he had anything to lose on that end. It made the relationship easier, Calvin already knew about his odd habits. Their relationship was comfortable, like pulling on a pair of favourite boots. With Étienne… well they had embarked on things at probably the worst time. Still he was thankful for him, thankful for what they had. The experience at least had been worth it, even if now the gaps between them hung suspended like unexploded bombs.

“Mmm, I think she probably had a good breakfast, I’ve noticed that when she doesn’t she is really nasty.” Ed was eating his food slower, and he watched as Étienne placed the container away into the lunch pack and took out the bag of cookies.

“I will thank her breakfast then, I was concerned I would not escape this city alive with her breathing fire down my back.”

“I don’t blame you. I would have used your body to fertilize my plants at least, give you one last purpose in life,” Ed teased.

“Oh, is that the purpose of my life Edward? To fertilize your garden? And here I thought it was to have sex with everybody, I must have been doing it wrong.”

“Well, you seem to be having sex with everybody wrong Étienne... you are missing a huge swath of the population.” Ed had finished his stew, and grabbed a cookie from the bag.

“Thank you for shitting upon my one life ambition there, Edward.” Étienne dramatically sighed.

“If it really was your life ambition, you really are messing up. There are so many people in the world, with limited life spans, so it would not make sense for you to have repeat partners, just saying,” Ed shrugged, “So you should have just had sex with me once, and then moved onto the next person in line.”

“I suppose you have pointed out the major flaw in my plans,” Étienne mused, “But you know, I only have repeat performances if I enjoyed the company. Call it a fatal indulgence?”

Edward shifted, the words somehow taking him by surprise, trying to keep his tone light, hating how his voice shook a little, he said, “Can’t blame you there, glad I was included on that list.”

“Mmm…” Étienne focused upon his second cookie, his posture a little awkward, as if he was not sure whether to be tense or relaxed.

Had he fucked up? Should he switch topics? Edward was stopped by Étienne speaking up.

“I still enjoy your company,” Étienne gave him a brief smile, “Even without any sex.”

Swallowing rather hard, Edward accidentally crumbled the rest of the cookie in his hand; embarrassed, he tossed it onto the pavement for some nearby pigeons, hoping that it looked like he had planned that on purpose.

“I enjoy you too, even without the sex,” he managed to finally respond, not looking at Étienne, fairly certain that the back of his neck was heating up from extreme embarrassment.

“If you didn’t want that cookie I would have eaten it, I don’t see why you should have given it to the pigeons. Am I not more deserving of the last cookie than the pigeons?”

“Last cookie? Weren’t there six? I had only grabbed one?”

“Ah, well you see, you were so slow I ended up eating them all.” Étienne did not look one bit repentant about this fact, “Figured I won’t have access to them after tomorrow, so might as well indulge now?”

“You make it sound like you are flying to the moon, Étienne. Are you really planning on never visiting again?” Edward realized a little too late that his joke was in fact a rather earnest question, one that ventured into the unknown minefield he had been so desperately avoiding.

“I meant for the foreseeable future, of course I plan to visit… I hope you plan to visit as well? You seem to have been… avoiding m- Montréal?” the question was carefully said, Étienne looking at the pigeons who had all crowded around the cookie crumbs.

“Not avoiding,” Ed sighed, “I just was not sure if you wanted me to crash your everlasting party.”

“Really, Edward? You have not been visiting for such a stupid reason? You think I only wanted you around for sex?” Étienne’s face froze as the words slipped out, the last part no doubt not meant to be said aloud.

Edward, if he was wanting to be honest, would have replied Yes. However, he had the gut feeling if he simply said Yes, it would really hurt the other man, and he simply did not have the heart to drive a knife through his middle. He worried it would be a killing blow.

“No, not that,” Edward shifted a little closer, somehow thinking that a closer proximity would make what he was about to say better somehow. Awkwardly, he placed his hand on top of Étienne’s which was splayed atop the bench, “I just have no idea where we stand. What permissions do I still have, and where do I not? Would I even be welcome to drop by?”

“Hmmm,” Étienne thankfully did not pull his hand away, “Well, just for the record you can drop by any time. Even if we are no longer lovers, we are still friends.”

“Are we?” Ed asked the question softly, intensely staring at Étienne, “Because I feel like somehow we are still caught in between those two poles, not sure how the hell to move on.”

The seconds were silence, Edward fearing he had said too much, wishing he could take out the mixtape and manually rewind it, then tape over it again with something less idiotic.

Étienne however, finally slid his gaze towards Edward’s face away from the pigeon party on the sidewalk. Subtly he shifted so that he could look at Edward straight on, but he made sure not to move his hand from underneath Ed’s. He reached out with his other hand, and brushed a strand of hair which had fallen forward out of Ed’s face, his action deliberate, his fingers moving on to settle upon Edward’s shoulder.

“Edward. You are overthinking things. I am sorry you feel that way, but I am fine with us being friends. Caught between poles of what? I have many friends who were past lovers, perhaps this is new for you, but trust me it is not for myself.” He gave a firm squeeze to Ed’s shoulder, and he gave a reassuring smile, “This is awkward for you no doubt, especially since you had developed… feelings. But that’s all in the past now.” His fingers were pressing tightly into Ed’s shoulder now, as if he had forgotten to let go. “You know me, I fly like a butterfly from flower to flower, enjoying the gifts of every type. Do not worry so much about me. The awkwardness is mainly on your part of overthinking, we are friends. It is fine.”

Almost as if an afterthought, Étienne removed his hand from Edward’s shoulder. “Anyways, shouldn’t we be heading back to the meeting? I think the clock is about to toll our late arrival.” Casually he removed his hand out from under Ed’s and stood up, brushing any crumbs off his shirt. Barely looking at Ed, he gathered his lunch and briefcase. “Hurry up.”

Slowly, in a state like waking up from an icy shower, Ed followed suite, and gathered his items, not saying a word as they walked back to the office. He knew he should, he could feel the tensions between them building once more, but he had no idea what to say. Of course he was being idiotic about this, Étienne was right. Étienne was Étienne, able to fly away from any situation unscathed, continue on like some eternal butterfly, touching briefly but never settling. He should simply be satisfied that the butterfly had decided to linger around him, he should not have expected any more than that.

XXXXX

Étienne wondered when he had become such a proficient liar. As far back as he could remember he was lying. He knew he had started as a small child lying over simple things, to the more proficient lies of an adult kindly spoken for the benefit of someone else. Today’s lie had felt as if he was purposely rubbing powdered glass into Edward’s sudden outpouring of confidence, but Étienne comforted himself by saying that it was for the best. As much as he was annoyed at how things had turned out, he could see how happy Edward was in his life. What did he have to offer? He simply was not able to compete with Edward’s new life, and he did not even want to. He was glad that on the way back Edward had been silent, he knew he had hurt him, but he knew that if a conversation had been tried to be carried he would have failed.

Telling these sorts of lies never came easily to him, and he knew that if he had been asked to speak as they walked up towards the Edmonton Tower he might have slipped up to reveal his crumbling resolve. It was not Edward’s job anymore to patch over his mistakes, that was quite clear, and quite frankly unfair. Edward did not need to know about his feelings, nor was he obligated to extend beyond the basic courtesies of friendship. What he did not like was how much he had grown to depend on Edward to do exactly that over the years. There was a point in their… friendship, that like clockwork if something went Wrong, and he did not handle it Well, Edward would appear as if out of the black ether and pull him together, patching together the broken masonry like an expert builder.

Now he was creating his own lasting buildings, developing his own plans. Étienne a mere speck in the shadows of them, watching helplessly as he turned into a bittersweet memory of the past, as growth twined around Edward, his roots merging so deep down that he could hardly be moved. When it came to Étienne, he was adrift, his own city a stranger to him. Each day he spent there the more foreign it became, the people who he used to know so well changing so much he was seeing faces from the past who had long since been dead. How many times had he rebuilt himself, only to crumble, break down… Tiredness ached his bones and he wanted to lay down, take a well deserved nap.

The source of his drifting misery he was unable to pinpoint. It had slowly grown inside of him after the large 375, asked by the most innocent of questions from Ludovico. They had been sitting outside on the step smoking, the others having left; Ludovico, who had decided to tour Canada while he was there, had lingered. Their bodies were in that state of pleasant ache after good sex. It was one of those moments of the evening where the sun had set but the last of its rays lingered creating a pink bloom across the sky.

Ludovico had been lazily sprawled across the step, his long legs spread out like ancient bridges. “375, you are so young still… I barely remember mine… it wasn’t such a big deal back then. I have seen so many people come and go… those who you think could never leave gone overnight it seems… others slowly drifting into nothing, the buildings bones of their bustling past…” taking a long drag of his cigarette, he looked over to Étienne, who had been contentedly staring at him, used to the other man’s rambling.

“Tell me Étienne… what’s next?” the question while innocent carried an undercurrent, something inscrutable which Étienne could not quite place.

“Next? Well… perhaps a nap before the next round of sex?” he had responded with a tease.

“No, no, you cannot just go through life as if it’s a joke, Étienne, you need to seriously consider this,” Ludovico had waved his cigarette expressively, “What is next for you? You have accomplished much yes, but there is the future to think of as well.”

“Do I really need to think about that now?” Étienne had asked fluttering his eyelashes.

“Allora, you are very frustrating,” Ludovico however had smiled at him, “I see you do not want to take this seriously, but here is my warning, if you do not take care, Étienne, one day I will be remembering you as the past while someone else takes over. Things happen like so... pouf,” here he stubbed the cigarette out onto the stair, “To people who kept looking the other way, ignoring their problems.”

“I am not particularly worried,” Étienne responded with a small laugh, “I know how to survive, now then… perhaps we can renew our physical acquaintances?”

“Oh Étienne, you have much to learn,” Ludovico had shifted closer, his hand drifting up and settling upon Étienne’s inner thigh, “You are so sweet…”

The conversation, which at the time he had wanted to forget, kept resurging. What was next for him?

From afar, he had watched with jealousy how the other cities continued to evolve, grow, the life seeming to spring up like newly born plants. At home, he had grown annoyed at Élyse bustling about, her phone constantly seeming to ring whenever he wanted to spend time with her, her mouth moving a mile a minute as she made plans. When he tried to help her she had shrugged him off, “You wouldn’t want to deal with the fucking mess of…” Fill in the blank.

The feeling of uselessness had continued to grow, a suffocating vine from the smallest part of his brain and twining around inside of him, spreading out until he felt immobile, where everything he touched did not matter. Being in Edmonton was not helping him at all, watching how much Ed had grown and changed built up such a good life for himself. Bitterly he reflected on their time together, when he thought that perhaps they could have been something more, where he could have been the man fulfilling Ed’s needs. Could he have been able to step up like Calvin? Would he have kept their relationship at a distance, the kilometres a comfortable space between them, where they could be together but also not at all? If things had been different… would Ed even have chickens? Would Ed actually be any better or would he have just been detrimental to other man? Étienne moodily thought, detrimental. He was absentmindedly scribbling on a piece of paper so consumed by thoughts that he jumped when Ed jabbed him in the side.

Someone was addressing him, and he realized guiltily he had not at all been paying attention to the meeting. Stuffing these thoughts aside, he asked them to repeat the question.

XXXX

He had entered quietly, not wanting to disturb Ed. Originally he meant to announce his presence, but he realized that Ed was not moving, simply standing there staring out the window, gloved hands elbow deep in the water immobile.

Dinner had started out fine, Étienne settling into his chair, eyes widening as he took in the fried rice, ginger beef, deep fried wontons and veggies. He had looked at Calvin as if he had somehow turned into a god. When Calvin had explained that these had mainly all been premade freezer meals – except for the rice and veggies - Étienne’s expression was even more surprised.

Ed had chimed in then, mentioning how tedious making wontons was, so they simply put them together when watching sports to keep their hands busy, and then froze them in small batches so they could lazily fry them up when needed.

Calvin had been carefully observing Étienne the past three days, noticing how sometimes, probably even unrealized by Étienne, he would be sitting there attentively listening and looking at Ed, his careworn expression, which he had noticed had been carefully schooled, changing subtly. It was difficult to explain it, but usually after a beer, when Étienne had managed to loosen up after dinner as they talked, the expression he sometimes got when he glanced over to Ed, was… would tender be the right word? When he had first witnessed it Calvin had felt his mouth go dry.

Really, after all this time? He had thought. Honestly he had wanted to ignore it, but today had simply confirmed it. The incident was small, so obscure that on a long timeline of incidents it would probably not even be written in. They had been sitting at the table, when Ed had looked up towards Calvin and cleared his throat. “Could you- ?”

In response Calvin had handed over the soy sauce, knowing exactly what he was about to ask. Across from him Étienne who had been watching had dropped his chopsticks, hastily picking them up, his expression momentarily irritated.

“You alright there?” he had asked.

Étienne had looked at him, then towards Ed, taking a moment, as if to weaken his mood, “Do you think you two could tone down the gay? Getting blasted here.”

Ed had awkwardly laughed, “What do you mean? I just asked for soy sauce?”

“With just a look?” Étienne had responded, “Not all of us can tolerate such mind reading powers…”

“Étienne, you are being silly,” Edward had looked back at his food, dismissing the other man.

Calvin however had sensed the change in Étienne’s mood, watched how as he quickly finished his meal, Étienne after placing his dish in the sink had left the kitchen, the back door opening as he stepped out into the garden as if to escape them.

Hands in water, Edward had become distracted from washing the dishes. Intently he was staring outside into his backyard, at the odd scene before him. Étienne had drifted outside after dinner, unusually quiet. Ed had simply assumed he was going to sit in one of the chairs drinking, but he had been wrong. Calvin had mentioned to him that yesterday he had found Étienne amongst the chickens, but Edward had not thought there would be a repeat performance. However, there was Étienne, lounging under a tree, Henrietta upon his lap, staring up towards the leafy canopy. Mary-Anne was pecking nearby, while Esther was sitting by a raspberry bush sleeping. It should have been a scene of peace and pleasure, but Edward felt sad looking at his friend.

“What are you staring at?”

“Ah jeez, you startled me,” Ed looked towards Calvin, his worried expression clear, “I’m looking at Étienne…” slowly he began to wash the pot in his hand.

“Mm? Petting Henrietta again? When he goes we will have to count the chickens and make sure we have all three.”

“Calvin…” a tentative beginning, “Do… do you think that there might be something… wrong with Étienne?”

The question he had been dreading. Leaning against the counter, looking out at the man, Calvin took a moment to answer, “What do you mean?” Curiously he looked over to Ed, admiring how the slow setting of the sun brightened the brown in his hazel eyes.

“Just… he has not seemed himself while here, it’s hard to explain.” Edward sighed, remembering Étienne’s words from before, “I could be overthinking.”

Arms folded, Calvin considered the situation, wondering how far he should go. “N-no. I mean I don’t think you are overthinking. I agree.”

“You agree?” Edward placed the pot in the drying rack, “What do you mean?”

“Ah well y’know, tired?”

“I think he needs more than a nap,” Ed responded as he placed the last dish onto the rack, and removed his gloves.

“You know I’m not good with this wishy-washy stuff Ed, but, maybe Étienne needs to figure out who he is now. Times change and he needs to change with them.”

“Very practical of you to say that, but I am not surprised,” Ed paused as if he intended to say something more, instead he switched topic entirely, “Do you think he would like the freshly made brownies with ice cream?”

“Honey, if he doesn’t I will eat his share.”

XXXX

The breeze was cool, a relief from the heat of the day. He had rolled over to face plant into the grass, stretching out his fingers as he grasped the blades, the shade of the large white birch half upon him, shifting as the sun slowly moved across the sky. If he could suffocate in the dirt that would probably somehow make him feel a little better over exploding like that over dinner. Mortified would not even be able to cover his turbulent emotions. He thought he was keeping it together fine, managing to ignore how intimate they were, how well they read each others emotions and thoughts, but goddam. Getting soy sauce without saying a damn word? Actions that were so smooth it was not even doubted they had been enacted many times before.

He could feel a chicken settle on him, but he did not have any willpower to move. It was fine, his life purpose was to be a chicken bed now.

There was a time where he had been that person, able to read Ed’s moods, understand what he wanted. Now though… now…

A sharp painful tug of his hair made him swat the attacker, his hand landing on feathers and a sharp beak which had swung over to defend itself. The loud squawk made him look up to be confronted with a very angry Esther who looked out for blood, her beady eye peering into his, feathers ruffled ready to fight. The bird which had been gently napping on his back hopped off, sensing danger.

“Excuse me, you are not allowed to eat my hair,” Étienne felt bad for hitting the bird, but that soon passed as she leant forward and took a chunk of his hair and tugged hard. “OW WHAT THE FUCK.” Violently he pulled away and sat up, mortified when he realized she had managed to pull a chunk of his hair out of his head. Rubbing the sore spot, he watched as she triumphantly waddled towards the chicken coop, hair waving in the wind like some macabre trophy. “Fucking bird.” He grumbled.

Hearing laughter from the back porch, he looked over to see Edward setting some dessert on the table.

“This is not funny, Edward!” he snapped. “If I had not defended myself I would be bald!”

“Can’t blame her, your hair is so curly it’s perfect for nesting,” came the response, “Now, would you care for some ice cream and a freshly baked brownie?”

Standing up, and brushing himself off, Étienne restrained his initial reaction (vault himself to the table and eat the food), to look more calm and collected. “Freshly baked? When did this happen?”

“Just now? While I was washing dishes figured I would cook up a little dessert for your last night here, there’s a secret ingredient.”

As he slowly sauntered up the stairs Étienne looked at them suspiciously. “It’s not… not pineapple, is it?”

“Oh my god, why would I even… no, it’s cinnamon.”

There were three plates laid out, each with a little spoon. Grabbing it from off the table, he settled into the chair (which he had claimed as his), and dipped the spoon into the rich chocolatey brownie. At first the cinnamon was not obvious, the rich dark chocolate of the brownie warm upon his tongue, then he tasted the cinnamon, a compliment to the chocolate. Taking another bite including the vanilla ice cream, Étienne made a soft moaning sound. This was so delicious he was already regretting that he had to return home tomorrow. No doubt after he left Calvin would be consuming vast amounts of this delicious food, and he felt his stomach twist in discontent.

“Looks like you enjoy this combination,” Ed said with some amusement.

Opening his eyes (when had he closed them?), Étienne responded, “Very much so. I have decided I love your cooking, it is always perfect… even when you were taking care of me back in the day. Your soups always made me feel better.”

Blushing in pleasure, Edward busied himself with eating his own dessert.

Behind them Calvin appeared carrying a guitar, which he carefully tilted against the wall before grabbing his dessert from the table.

“My favourite!” he exclaimed as he dug in and literally inhaled the dessert in about five seconds.

“Oh my god Calvin, you need to savour things!” Edward admonished, however the effect was lost due to his laughter.

Taking a sip of his beer, Calvin winked at Ed. “But there is more inside, and I have already decided the rest of that pan is mine?”

“Calvin! We have a guest, maybe Étienne wants seconds?”

“Ehh… but does he?” Calvin innocently looked over to Étienne who was halfway through his dessert.

“Yes. I do.” came the firm response.

“You’ll have to fight me for it,” Calvin smirked, “I doubt you could even take me.”

“You wanna bet?” Étienne raised his eyebrows at the challenge. Punching Calvin in the face would be something he would truly enjoy at the moment, especially if it meant more of this brownie.

Placing his bowl on the table, Calvin moved and picked up his guitar. “Country rap battle, right here right now.”

Étienne nearly choked on his last bite. Coughing, he managed to finally get everything going down correctly. “C-country rap battle? That is laying the table heavily in your favour. Edward, this is not fair.”

Ed who had been watching this with amusement gave a shrug, “Well, what would you prefer?”

“Hmm… music is not bad, but we can battle it out using styles suited to us?”

“That sounds alright, I mean if Calvin isn’t scared?” Ed teased lightly, and Calvin smirked.

“I ain’t scared.” He strummed the guitar, setting out a lively tune, his voice picking up, “Oh I am Calvin from the city, ready to fight, I am –”

Edward started to laugh really hard, apparently unable to keep it together to even be supportive.

“- going to take you down, after showin’ the town. You try to steal my brownie out of guestful spite, but my buddy pal, y’aint got a man, y’aint got a gal.” He gave a little flourish on the guitar and looked at Étienne with expectation.

Étienne frowned, how was he supposed to compete with a guitar? Licking his spoon in thought an idea came to him, and he grabbed Calvin’s spoon. Fitting them into the proper position he gave Calvin a challenging look, ignored the hiccoughing giggles of Edward, and struck up a firm rhythm with them, as he saucily began to sing a well known folk tune, “Guest rights gives me the food, you get it everyday. Having no guy, nor gal doesn’t stop the way. Your song is ridiculous, as much as your hair. Not giving me a guitar, that is no fair.”

Calvin strummed to pick up again, when finally, Edward choked out, “Stop stop, oh my god, I can’t breathe, please. You both win.” He was wiping tears from his eyes, his face red from how much he had been laughing. He glanced over to Étienne’s spoons, “Spoons,” and began to laugh again, clutching his side. Apparently the fact Étienne had decided to play the spoons was the killing blow for Ed, who was gasping for air as he laughed. It was contagious, and Étienne began to laugh, realizing how ridiculous they must look, fighting over the brownies. He lost it when Calvin let out a rather forceful snort of laugher, and any thought of continuing the battle was lost as they collectively gasped for air, the laughter hard and true. The moment it would die down, someone would catch the eye of one of the others and it would start up again.

What felt like an eternity of aching sides later, when no more air was to be had, and the sky had turned a brilliant orange as the sun finally reached its lowest point before saying goodbye, the laughter had finally subsided.

“Oh my god,” Ed stood up, “I’m getting us water and just bringing the tray out… and maybe some more…” he eyed the spoons, his mouth twitching up in a smile, “utensils…” he made his escape, but they heard him give a short laugh as he entered the house.

Étienne drew his fond gaze from the retreating figure, and was surprised to have Calvin giving him a rather serious look.

“It’s been nice having you here.” The tone was serious, and Calvin was leaning forward, arm casually laying across his guitar, “You shouldn’t be such a stranger, Étienne.”

He opened his mouth in surprise, not sure what to reply. Sure thing? Fly right on over to witness more perfect gay love?

“Look, I know things are a little… difficult,” Calvin continued, “But hey, ain’t no use crying over the past when the future is here for the taking, right?”

He was unable to respond because Ed had reappeared, and the serious Calvin had quickly dissolved into the hungry-for-more-brownie Calvin.

The addition surprised Étienne, he had not expected Calvin to be so welcoming. It felt as if any issues of the past had been resolved between them, which made him annoyed. Why was Calvin so easy to forgive and forget? Was he really as smart as Ed said? Forgiving so easily made him suspicious, as if Calvin had other plans in mind, something that could result in an even worse situation for himself. What that could be, Étienne had no idea. These thoughts dispersed however as he began to eat more of the brownie, and as Calvin lit the fire and picked up his guitar to actually sing some cowboy songs, joined in by Ed now and then for the chorus, he felt his mood mellow, no doubt aided by the beer. Hell, he even beat out a rhythm with the spoons and joined in, the fire crackling sending sparks up into the navy night sky, where spark turned into star.

Later that night, when he was in bed drifting off to sleep, he thought, it wasn’t so bad being here. He could understand why Calvin stayed.

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