#these two are so ridiculous lmao

[aspen-charminghearts]

The First Time Red Caught the Seasonal Auradonian Cold:

Chloe: Oh dear, you’re burning up a fever. You’re at 101.2 F if it gets any worse I’ll have to take you to the hospital-

Red: But I’m not sick, if I was sick would I be able to do this?? [Intensely stares at Chloe]

Chloe:

Chloe: Red what do you think you’re doing?

Red confused: Parkour. Am I not doing it?

Chloe: . . .

Chloe: No my dear you are not… But based in this I now know I should probably take you to the hospital now.

Red delirious and whiny: NO! NO hospital! I am NOT sick!

Chloe: Oh this is going to be a battle..

[mobius-m-mobius]

#Sir Derek Jacobi is just gonna keep getting away with it huh 😔 (insp)

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[guardian-angle22]

TK talking about himself vs. Other people talking about TK

[cometnoodle]

thought itd be fun to put edelgard in (vaguely) historical outfits from 1180s-ish, byzantine-ish and the holy roman emperors' coronation regalia lol

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

some chaotic glimmadora to make your day.

[hirazuki]

Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.

Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??

Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:

[hypnagogics]

i wanna show yall this rn because i'm excited about it tbh...it's gonna be cheesy and fluffy and silly. (can you tell i have way too much fun in picsart- that means i genuinely can't tell if the header thingy looks atrocious, cringe sure but legit can't decide just how bad). the imagine that inspired this.

[dustykneed]

who’s your most favorite non Star Trek blorbo? :)

hilariously non-fandom (ish) but... mr john keating (dead poets society)! keating/mcallister is one of my favorite ships actually hahah. i know most people ship the boys but i guess i just made a beeline for the old married couple (as always xDD). i have this whole fix-it au for dps... 6k words of complete self indulgence and counting <333

[spotaus]

Hey i am back with another thought.

Remember how ccino was unamused with nightmare bringing a serial killer home as possible knight?

Inagine his annoyance when it HAPPENS AGAIN with dust!

And dust needs like 4 magic dampers.

Nightmare just standing there: i found another possible knight

Ccino staring at the criminal: ... i will go prepare a room *leaves*

And then.

Later!

Ccino walks out to meet nightmare and stops because he sees a giant skeleton behind nightmare with a hole in his skull!

Ccino: ...

Nightmare who can feel that ccino is THIS close to snapping: ... this one isnt a criminal.

Ccino takes a deep breath. Nods. And leaves. He does not like this pattern.

And then cross gets caught

Killer: lmao. Wonder why nightmare is leaving him in the jailcell instead of just punishment

Dust and horror shooting each other knowing looks.

ccink just leaves because APPARENTLY he needs to prepare ANOTHER room now >:(

Some kids bring back rocks or plants or insects or wounded animals..

Nightmare brings back criminals. (Which is even funnier because nightmare also hires wrongly judged people as his servants).

No wonder the cats swarm the castle. It is already full of strays.

Hi I *know* you have another ask in my inbox that I need to address (because I love it to death and need to make a coherent answer that isn't just me key-smashing-) but I saw this one fresh off the send and I need to respond because this one !!!!! Is so silly but so true!!!

Yeah, Ccino is a very kind and loving soul but like. In the way parents can still get annoyed w/ their kids, this is Ccino's peev. Every single time Nightmare comes back with a criminal Ccino has to take a deep breath abd count to 5 before he can respond in any proper way. And he *knows* Night knows how worried abd frustrated he his! Because!! Of all the people to bring in when you're paranoid of getting murdered? The serial killers???

Dude I also love the thought that Dust had a couple dampeners so he couldn't harm anyone or run off, and the longer he behaves the more Night takes off. (And Night *really* wants to see Dust at his full power, but he can't risk being hasty-)

Horror, who arguably looks the most like a criminal, actually got into a heated argument with a friend as a teenager and ended up with a huge skull wound. He's actually a sweetheart! (<- to his family at least-) Ccino is just happy it's not another criminal frfr.

And then Cross.

The visual that Killer has yet to pick up on the signs of Night preparing to collect another knight is SO silly but also SO him. He's blind-sided when he's put in charge of Dust to train him for knighthood. He's blindsided when Horror is adopted into the Knights. He's also blindsided when Nightmare firmly tells everyone that Cross will be helping them. 🙏 (and then he becomes a Knight)

Poor Ccino putting up with these guys... <3

Oh yeah, stray city! Nightmare (if he did have godlike powers) definitely gives off a domain of safety for misfits + survivors. Like, Reaper's kingdom has a great reputation but. Nightmare is very specifically keen on helping people and taking care of them (even as they take care of him). So the cats, the wrongly-accused criminals, and the *rightly*-accused criminals who he thinks can change are all his now :] He attracts them like a beacon lol!

[last-in-line-for-hell]

// n$fw

Wei Wuxian loving being manhandled, loving riding Lan Wangji because it’s the position Lan Wangji hits him deepest, Wei Wuxian producing his own slick, teasing Lan Wangji that their “everydays” will lead to Wei Wuxian getting pregnant, him acting like a total brat to get Lan Wangji to snap and be as rough as he can…I love this ridiculous brat of a bottom.

[harrowscore]

why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip

[hella1975]

fuck it im gonna reread aftg

[gayabeilles]

me giving cooking advice: always go by the recipe the first time you make something so you have a control. you can always change things next time but it’s important to have a baseline.

me trying a new recipe: so I’m actually gonna put four five cloves of garlic, add a serrano pepper (they don’t even call for anything Spicy?????), and I’ve got this shallot that’ll go bad soon so I’ll throw that in too, plus there’s those scapes from last weekend I should try to use up,

[tragicotps]

Modern Masriel AU: in which Asriel forgets to buy Marisa a birthday present and makes up a fantastical story to make her laugh about it.

[the-spooky-children]

Can't stop thinking about unhealthy co-dependent teen!fireskulls..