#LIKE I KNOW I SHOULD IVE BEEN FUCKING ASKING FOR LITERAL YEARS AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT AGAIN IM GOING INSANE
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perilegs · 4 months ago
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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purpurussy · 4 months ago
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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maliciousmalfeasance · 1 month ago
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can't believe i have to wait til jan at the earliest to find out if i have the scary disease that causes silent heart attacks that i tick almost every symptom of..... if i die between now and then im going to haunt my doctors so hard
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girlivealwaysbean · 2 months ago
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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non-un-topo · 1 year ago
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Why does instagram keep giving me videos about grandparents like does it want me to fall on the floor sobbing today
#they're all gone! none left now#idk what happened this week but i've been trying SO hard not to think about my nana at all#it’s just a constant don't think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it#i did have a really violent nightmare about her the other night. that fucked me up...#maybe it's because i talked to my mom and she mentioned her for a minute. neither of us know how to talk about it.#i literally can't even think about it i'll start crying.#should visit my partner's nonna and nonno... but i will cry. still we need to see nonno because he's very unwell.#i can't fucking believe i found out my nana died and then immediately went to class.#mentioned it to my professor and the whole class gasped and asked if i was okay or if i needed to leave.#but if i didn't go to class then i would have just been home alone...#crying in front of my favourite prof a few days later was... yikes. but it was okay. she felt like a grandma to all of us#she was sincerely sorry. esp because that class was called 'women and aging'#she spend the entire year telling us to ask the older women in our families their stories#and now i have none left. didn’t get to ask.#i don't know why i didn't call when i wanted to#i can't think about it#glad my mom told me that she feels totally disconnected to family too. bc lately ive felt very alone.#like my nana getting sick and dying brought them together but only for a short while.#feels like we have no extended family and it's fucking me up a lot. im just glad im not the only one
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mxwhore · 2 years ago
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afraid for my brother hours
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salsflore · 1 year ago
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going to sleep soon ~ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)
#cw vent#this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that#this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky#my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know#my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school#this is one of them#its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or#something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has#literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever#i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh#its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place#so miserable i could just die#so miserable i think i SHOULD die#and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself#sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ~#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz
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heyitslapis · 7 months ago
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what fucking makes me want o rip my hair out when it comes to the security guy at work is that i'll even try to COMMUNICATE WITH HIM!!!!! (i know for people like us communication can be difficult & we often need specific clear wording and even then we have layers to peel back) When i cant tell if he's being sarcastic, i'll ask him genuinely, because as ive told him multiple times before the way he says things it literally cannot be interpreted as a joke (even neurotypicals at work have agreed with me in front of him) and always seems like he's being serious. i tell him this all the time and he acts like its fucking funny that im genuinely mad about the fact that he wont communicate back with me. Verbatim i have told him on multiple occasions "i genuinely cant tell when youre being sarcastic or making a joke because your tone is so flat and your face is so serious and deadpan and usually people will laugh or crack a smile a few seconds after the joke but you just stand there not expressing anything, even after i ask if its a joke because i genuinely cant tell"
YET HE CONTINUES TO FUCKING DO IT and then has the fucking GALL to laugh at me or call me gullible or naive when IM LITERALLY TRYING TO COMMUNICATE!!! bitch how tf am i supposed to know whats a joke and whats real when you act like im asking a fucking statue every time you say a lie or joke
#id give him the benefit of the doubt cause i know he's very autistic but doesnt know it#BUT BITCH I LITERALLY HAVE ASKED & TRIED TO COMMUNICATE. NO NUANCE. LITERAL CLEAR COMMUNICATION WITH NO ROOM FOR MISUNDERSTANDING#then he acted like i was fucking stupid for assuming he was lying when he said that he had dinner at tgi fridays with an astronaut#still gives me shit abt it like ''i think its funny that you thought that was a lie'' & i still stand by what i told him that day#''i assumed you were bs-ing bc idk about you but i personally dont know anyone who's actually met an astronaut & you said it like a joke''#IM SO SOS O SO SO T I R E D OF ALL MY COWORKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#not Cam tho. he's cool & at least i can tell when he's being sarcastic & he doesnt try to pull me into his guru cult#i cannot fucking WAIT for the other auditor to finally retire. she's going down to 3 days a week in july & full retirement in june 2025#and im fucking COUNTING the days. ive had to put up with her bs for two years now#and the security guard has been thinking about quitting the security company that our hotel contracts & i keep encouraging him to#as a ''friend''. i just keep saying that if he's not happy he should prioritize that cause he has to look out for himself cause work wont#see i can be nice & offer level-headed advice even if i cant fucking stand someone. really i just want his bigoted ass GONE#he talks about how K (my coworker) doesnt see shes in a cult & in the same breath he preaches to me that im wrong & were all born with sin#ive been SO WELL BEHAVED at work yall dont even know!!!!!#and theres no one to be proud of me for being so brave & so nice & so well-behaved!!!!#ripping tearinig biting evily with my fucking sharp teeth#emma rambles#emma rants#work tag#fuck my stupid baka life tbh
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readymades2002 · 8 months ago
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who even give a fuck. yknow
#getting drunk before work because who gives a shit ^_^d#yesterday was real fucking bad so im thinking like why am i even fucking trying you know none of these assholes even talk to me#unless its to go ermmmm i cant help noticing your department isnt achieving infinite growth when will you guys stop sucking#shit? just curious yhaha and if they want to talk about me they go behind my back and ask other people why im cutting#which a) i wear short sleeves this isnt a secret im keeping and 2) fuck you for deciding its your business and then NOT EVEN#ASKING /ME/ but whatever thy want to get pissy at me for their own failure to communicate fucking let them i dont care#ive been killing myself for this stupid job for a year now i wake up in the morning and my first thought is how bad my knee hurts#im one of the best we've got and what do i have to show for it no one fucking talks to me i dont care#no one will go 'hey did you get fucking sloshed before coming here' becaus etheyre scared of talking to m e for some reason#i literally dont know but if they ask then like who fucking cares this isnt on me i dont feel human doing this job i dont feel like a perso#no one treats me like one unless i waste time quote unquote to not do my job and talk to people who like care if i live or die or whatever#so like who fucking cares even ill do whatever i want ill get drunk before work ill do shit at my job ill talk to someone i love fuck it#whatever!!! should have acted like i was a person instead of ignoring the people youre throwing into a meatgrinder for profit i guess#who fucking cares!#already had my MOTHER get weird about me buyng booze for reasons that are none of her fucking business and that she#wouldnt know the details of anyway if she hadnt been snooping because i have no privacy and no space of my own lol#so might as well drink it i guess it was 30 bucks anyway and i dont have any fucking moneyyyyyyyy so what am i#who am i fucking KIDDINGGGGGGGGGG lol its fucked its all fucked!!! whatever!!! who give a shit!!! nothing fucking matters
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flamestar126 · 1 year ago
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Dentist/teeth venting lol
#turns out i have inflamed gums and the cleaning hurts like a bitch#the dentists are always so rough stabs and leaves me bleeding near the end#told the liquid to clean my mouth was gross then proceed to lift my chair without warning me i ended up swallowing some out of surprise#did x rays and they dig into my gums so bad i literally could taste blood during#“you need to floss more” i dont know how to care of braces! the first day of getting them you guys said ok and sent me off without any info#google doesnt tell you shit as a 17 y/o then questioning me using terms ive never heard of before im not a dentist im confused dumbass ;A;;#they dropped my wire theyre supposed to put back in my mouth and couldnt find it i saw it drop under the counter and struggled to pick it u#also struggled to put a new wire on and spent over 10 min trying to put back my rubber bands#i cant open my mouth bigger than that! my mouth is small im a tiny person please stop stabbing me with those sharp tools every 5 seconds#guess who just found that tiny lost broken wire in mouth as im writing this#when they cut my wire to fit in my mouth they lost them of both sides in my mouth and i could only found one until now#gave me mismatched color bands so i have black and red im not going to open my mouth until i go back loll#took 10 min to put my bands back and struggled so hard they were pacing back n forth and cursing shit motherfuck fuck damn instead 1 min#that part was amusing no matter how long it took them they kept asking if i was okay when i felt like i should be asking them that#my venting is out of order but the first dentist was so apologetic and kind joking with me and trying to calm down when I wasn't nervous#i couldn't stop smiling at their clumsiness but 2nd dentist was rough and wanted to speedrun me it hurt#ive been there for two hours i dont care if youre slow i just want it carefully#left there shaking and bleeding#not my worst experience ngl but doesnt make me feel less shitty#the place i go do not care about me for the almost past 2 years ive been there#my anger left im just being whiny now#flame vents#dentist
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hideawaysis · 8 months ago
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hello. absolutely hate involving myself in fandom drama, but ifeel this is an important post to make as i have seen a lot of people taking a certain post at face value and believing it.
im referring to this one, made by @/realultimatehater
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now, before i say these things, i feel the need to preface this by saying that i do not personally wish to align myself in this fandom debate. i am a tax-paying adult and do not have any energy or time to put into arguing about a tv show on the internet. nonetheless, i have seen people blindly spreading this post around and i feel this needs to be addressed.
this person is lying.
it feels like it should be obvious with the levels of "down with cis bus" energy pulsating off of this, but it's a huge fucking lie.
this person is a known harasser and has targeted children in the past. they will do anything, and i mean ANYTHING to rack up attention and internet points. they have made bold claims like this with little to no evidence in the past all so they can garner more hatred for certain fandoms on the internet. testimonies here and here, and some pretty damning screenshots here.
i advise you all to stop reblogging the post ive shown. it's disinformation, a story fabricated to direct more vitriol towards a fandom with little to no proof that it can somehow make people like this or attract people like this. this person is either a troll or just plain deranged. please stop believing what they say.
tags added for reach.
edit: i received an anonymous ask giving me extra information on this topic, apparently this person is in fact an internet troll who has gone under countless aliases and will often fake identities in order to ruin the reputations of others. more information here and here.
edit 2: another anon ask gave me a preserved version of a post from realultimatehater's first account, showing how they'd crop screenshots of dms in order to make it look like they were being harassed for simply having a negative opinion on hazbin hotel. here's the post, though do know the reblog is from a supporter of them, make of that what you will. here's another version of the post ifound showing how they'd bait people into saying these kinds of things in order to make them look bad. and here's another one! wow!
i also found a few asks showing how this person would literally approach hazbin fans and just blatantly insult them, rather than blocking them. because yeah, when you detest a fandom, you clearly must stir up conflict! that'll keep them away from you! said asks can be viewed here and here
edit 3: the anon i received telling me realultimatehater was an internet troll who'd been trolling people for years apparently was not being truthful, this does not discredit the other evidence ive listed but id really appreciate if people would stop spreading that ask around. ive removed the link to the ask, sincere apologies to anyone affected by that
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gamblersdoll · 4 months ago
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Is it possible for you to write an ex bf sukuna fic where he shows up at psychiatrist y/ns office, as a patient, to win her back after months of her not reaching back to him 😭
This could end up being fluff or smut wtv u prefer 😛
ogey! toxic! sukuna semi nsfw
oh my fucking god, dude.
you would think that because he is the one who broke of the relationship, sukuna would just leave you the fuck alone..
nope! instead of that, he just texts you when you leave him on read, an obvious sign that hes bothered by the fact that you dont reach to him anymore. he lived for it, it was pathetic for both of you.
merely pathetic of him, moreover.
you had more important things to worry about, like your patients at the hospital that were worried about their own health and needs.
“okay, how are we doing —“ you were looking at your little pretty notepad, thinking that you were attending to the same old man who dealt with hallucinations and voices, but no..
its your delusional ex boyfriend, sukuna.
“im doing better now, doc.” he grumbles, a shit eating grin and he crosses his legs. “why dont you respond anymore? aren’t psychiatrists supposed to do that?”
you could punch him.
literally. like, you could punch the fuck out of him.. and unfortunately, he would like that.
“to patients, not to ex flings. you grunt, turning your back to him to reorganize your desk. you feel a pair of hands on your hips, breathing on your neck.
had you both stayed together, you would be soaked.
“and to me, because im a patient now.” he chuckles, sitting back down and expecting a professional smile. “well, arent you going to help me, doc?” it wasnt really a question, more of a snide.
it takes everything to not break him.
“ohkay, ryomen.” you address, he hated when you called him by that. “what’s been going on? any new medication youve been taking.”
he sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes. “well, i have this asshole of an ex girlfriend.” he starts, noticing a vein popping out of your neck. “but, cant get mad.. had the best pussy ive had in years.”
how poetic.
“hmm, okay, and how does that make you feel?” you coo, seeing three veins pop from his knuckles. seems like he could lose this game he started.
“it pisses me off,” he starts. tapping his foot, he stares into you. “she acts as if she can win this little ‘ill have him crawling’ game. yet, shes using her pussy as some pawn.”
now that confused you, but, if he says so.
“has it made you feel.. down? blue?”
“the fuck are you asking me?” he growls, a eye twitch and his fist balls up. you hold back a chuckle, professional, professional.
“have you been having suicidal thoughts, ryomen?” you mask your voice with that customer service voice, knowing damn well it pisses him off so bad.
“no, i havent had— fuck you!”
“ryomen, why are we angry?” you press again, eyes lowering to his and a small smile.
youre fucking with him, he knows that. he knows that you are toying with him, he knows that. why does it make him angry? he used to do the–
fuck, he taught you that shit.
“fuck you, ill have you lose your job.” he growled.
“for what? being too nice? for good customer service?” you chuckle, “ryomen, is there someone i should call to come retrieve you?” you suggest, “any nephews? brothers?”
oh, you fucking bitch.
“we aint done.” he says, storming out and slamming the office building door. you chuckle, immediately looking at your phone to see the missed calls and texts from him.
you pussywhipped fucker, sukuna.
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thelampisaflashlight · 4 months ago
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Dress Down
[Based on this ask I sent @iamthecomet , Rain is more than a little obsessed with the way Dew is dressed for their ghouls night out at the bar.] Below the cut.
If there's one thing Aether's good at, it's finding a decent bar in the middle of nowhere; He's like a bloodhound for booze, if such a thing could exist, and, while any place would do given how long it has been since the pack has gotten to go out in full force like this, he doesn't settle for anything less than the best.
"Best" being pretty much anywhere that can tolerate their loud, obnoxious asses for more than an hour before trying to kick them out.
Admittedly, though, this outing isn't exactly a celebratory one -some of them might be celebrating, but if they are, they won't dare to say it out loud- really, it's more of a means of destressing and perhaps unpacking a bit of the events that unfolded while they were on tour.
Sister Imperator's death, Copia stepping down from the title of Papa and stepping up to take his mother's place as Frater Imperator... Really, it's a mixed bag of emotions all around, and none of them are quite sure how to feel about, well... everything.
Least of all the older, more seasoned ghouls, who had already witnessed what "retirement" had meant for the previous Papas, though they were mostly hopeful that Copia would not meet the same fate as his predecessors now that his new position was solidified.
Mountain, for example, had breathed a sigh of relief seeing the placard on his office door change from Papa IV to Frater Imperator and not "Papa V", not quite ready to accept life under new leadership just yet.
Now nursing a bottle of lager, the earth ghoul has pressed himself into the corner of the cozy, red pleather bench he's sharing with Cumulus and Cirrus, looking more flushed in the face than expected after only one drink, but, despite appearances, the man's always been a lightweight.
On the opposite side, Swiss is talking to Aeon and Aurora in an animated fashion, hands gesturing wildly as he tells some tall tale or another that's probably only a hair away from the truth, and Dew can't help but roll his eyes when he sees the younger quintessence ghoul looking at the multi ghoul all doe-eyed, thoroughly enraptured by his story.
Personally, Dew's not really in the mood to be out on the town tonight, like Mountain, he's thinking a bit too much about what's to come, too stuck in his head about the what ifs and when's of the situation to really relax and enjoy himself.
He's trying though; Holding a sweaty glass of whatever cheap piss the bar had on tap, because- "No, Aeth, I'm not doing shots with you after what happened last time!"- he'd rather drink something closer to water than relive that experience again, he takes little sips, cringing at the bitter taste.
He's never been much of a beer drinker, he used to be, kind of, he was really more of a "anything that gets me wasted" drinker, but he's toned it down over the last couple of years to the point that certain types of alcohol just don't appeal to him at all anymore, beer least of all.
He gives a bigger sip and sticks his tongue out, hearing Swiss laughing at him from the booth, flipping him off when he sees him whisper the word "princess" under his breath.
"You should get something you'll actually like instead of trying to impress literally no one by drinking shitty beer." Aether says, slipping the glass from his palm and downing it himself, "Eugh, at least something better than this swill... Try a cocktail or something."
Dew grimaces, "Fuck no, I feel sick just smelling anything sweet anymore, plus I don't want a nasty hangover tomorrow..."
"Just switch it up, yeah?" Aether suggests, then whispers, "If you just want a fancy soda, I won't tell anyone else otherwise... I know it's hard not to drink when everyone else is."
"I appreciate that..." Dew says, giving his friend a genuine smile, "I'm okay drinking tonight, since it's a special occasion, kind of, just gonna take it easy though, ya know?"
Aether nods and claps him on the shoulder once before heading off to join the others, scooting a chair over to the table so he doesn't have to take a seat away from them.
Dew considers his options.
He could just order a fancy soda or a mocktail, Hell, the bar even had that weird canned water that looks like a tallboy can of beer, but he keeps the idea in his pocket for later, and instead orders himself the sweetest looking glass of rosé he can find on the drink menu.
He sips it slowly and lets the liquid coat his tongue.
Sitting at the bar with his drink, Dew can't help but feel like a bit of wallflower; Everyone else around him seems to be having a good time, and even went through the trouble of dressing up for the occasion and he's just...
Dew looks down at his outfit, at his lightly stained hoodie, his black skinny jeans with holes in the knees -and another, smaller one near his crotch that is subtly hidden by the black of his boxers beneath- that have seen better days, and his ratty Converse sneakers with dark smudges on the white rubber tips.
He doesn't exactly scream fashion when compared to Swiss, who's wearing a borderline gaudy silk shirt and tight slacks that leave little to the imagination, or Cirrus, who is absolutely rocking a very low cut shirt, braless, and jeans that could very well just be painted on with how closely they hug her curves...
...Or Rain, who took two whole hours to get ready and now looks like the goth nightmare queen of his fucking dreams.
Rain, who has been cozying up to the bartender for the last hour or so, giggling and batting his long lashes at her in an incredibly unsubtle way that is certainly NOT making Dew jealous whatsoever and-
"Aw, fuck."
Dew curses as a bit of his wine sloshes out onto his pant leg, not enough to lose his drink entirely, but enough for him to feel the splash of it against his thigh as it all seems to hit exactly where the rip in his pants is.
Standing up almost urgently, Dew makes his way to the bathroom in hopes of blotting up the mess before it can trickle down his leg and make it look like he pissed himself, but, as soon as he manages to slip inside and shut the door... he hears it open behind him just as quickly.
"You alright?" Rain asks, looking less concerned and more... Dew isn't really sure how to place the expression on the water ghoul's face.
Between his glamour and the make-up obscuring his familiar features, Dew's a little at a loss for what the face he could be making could mean, but the tone...
"I'm fine."
"Good."
Rain closes the door behind them and locks it in one swift motion, briefly walking over to examine the stalls before returning to Dew and-
"Rainy, what are you doing-"
-dropping onto his knees in front of him.
"You've been driving me crazy all night, baby." Rain purrs, running a hand down both his legs, pressing a kiss to his knee, "Dressed up all cute..."
Dew feels a heat creeping up over his face.
"Me? Cute? What, no, I'm..." Dew flusters, "You're the one that's driving ME crazy, Rainy. Look at you."
"Yeah?" Rain coos, "You like what you see?"
He leans back for a moment, putting himself on full display; The flouncy white shirt with the ruffled sleeves, the black corset, the lacy skirt rucked up to expose the black and white socks underneath, and Satanas, the heels...
Rain looks sinfully gorgeous, and here he is, on his knees, telling Dew that HE looks cute, no, there's just no way-
"Can I taste you, Gumdrop?" he asks, leaning in to squish his face against the wet patch on his inner thigh, inhaling deeply, "Please?"
What kind of man would Dew be to deny someone as pretty as Rain what he wants?
"O-Okay..." he whispers, and no sooner do the words leave his mouth, than does Rain's latch onto him, nibbling at him through the whole in his jeans, "Rainy!"
"Shhh..." Rain shushes him, "You have to be quiet, okay, sweetheart? Or do you want the whole bar to hear you, hm? Make a big scene of the door being locked and have them wondering what's happening in here..."
Dew groans as Rain moves to undo his zipper.
"You're so sensitive, you know that?" he teases, "I haven't even gotten my mouth on you properly and you're already ready to give me everything, aren't you?"
"Can't help it...You're just so... so beautiful..." Dew whines as Rain eases his pants and underwear down just enough to expose his ass -and disappointingly not his cock- to the cool air of the bathroom- "Rainy-"
"Said I wanted to taste you, didn't say which part~" Rain says, standing smoothly and bullying Dew up against the counter between the sinks, he stumbles a bit as the other tugs his jeans down further and flushes when the other drags him up with an almost comical, "Upsie-daisy."
Dew feels his back press into the mirror behind him as Rain forces his legs up in the air, and has to slap his hands down on the marble to keep himself from sliding down, "Really, this is-"
He doesn't quite get to finish his sentence before Rain dives in, earning a gurgled moan from Dew as he feels Rain's clever tongue lap at his hole.
"Not fair, Rain, I should be-"
Rain pauses, breathing hot, wet air onto his skin, chuckling, "You should be what? The one fucking me?"
Dew sinks into his hood a bit, mumbling, "Y-Yeah..."
"Hm... Let me think about it..." Rain pretends to consider Dew's request, then with a happy chirp, dismisses the idea entirely, "No, sorry, don't think so, love. Maybe later, but you're not the one who paid off the bartender to make people use the other restroom for the next hour."
"You d-did that...?" if Dew wasn't blushing before, he was certainly pinker than his rosé now, "That means-"
Rain leans over top of him, coming nose to nose with the ghoul on the counter, "She knows I'm fucking you? Yeah."
"Told her you were gonna spill your drink on yourself as an excuse to sneak into the bathroom with me in case she didn't believe me, and then you just happened to pour just a liiiittle bit of wine on your pants and run off..." he says, rubbing their faces together lightly as Dew feels Rain's long fingers tickle his sides, "...Just a tiny wave of my hand and just like that, you're all mine."
"You-"
"So if you think I'm going to let you top after all the effort I went through putting together this outfit and locking this place down, you are sorely mistake, mon cheri~"
"Oh no..." is all Dew manages to say before Rain sets about taking him apart with his mouth again.
It's not long before he's moved again, pressed against the wall, legs spread with his pants pulled down awkwardly to give Rain enough access to slam inside of him as he holds onto him for fear he might tumble onto the floor, unable to bring his legs together to wrap them around Rain's lithe form thanks to his strong arms holding them apart.
Rain is relentless as he pounds into him, and Dew feels the back of his head bump into the tile with every other motion, until Rain shows mercy and hooks one of his legs over his hip and cushions the blow with his hand.
It's a difficult position to maintain, and Dew's pretty sure aside from Rain's impressive grip strength, the other thing keeping him aloft right now is his dick, and something about that has Dew's brain going more than a little screwy.
He's entirely unprepared for when Rain cums inside of him, shockingly cold and a reminder that, right, even in his glamour, Rain's still a water ghoul, and his seed is nothing if not colder than the depths of Hell's frozen lake.
Dew shivers and latches onto Rain, curling against him in a desperate search for warmth, and he finds it in the gentle kisses Rain gives the side of his face.
"Come on, baby, your turn, your turn, Dewdrop."
It's hardly the most impressive orgasm he's ever had, but it's certainly one of the gentlest, and as he dully becomes aware of how he's managed to cum so hard he's painted the front of Rain's silly, flouncy blouse, he can't help but laugh a little.
"You're going to get punished for that later..." Rain clicks his tongue, "For now... gimme your hoodie."
"Can't..."
"Oh? Why not?"
Dew looks up at him coyly, "'m not wearing anything underneath it..."
Rain makes a hurt sound in the back of his throat, "If I'd known that, I would have insisted you took it off first... Oh well, let's see..."
He slides his phone out of his shirt, checking the time, "We still have another fifteen minutes..."
"Rain?"
"How about I give you your punishment now?"
"O-Oh-"
.
.
.
"Geezus, Froggy, you doin' okay, you keep looking like you're gonna fall off the sidewalk the way you're moving..." Aether sighs, pulling Dew upright as the shorter ghoul lurches forward for the third time on their walk home -none of the local cabs would take them... shocker- "I thought you weren't going to drink that much tonight?"
"Didn't..." Dew cringes, pinching his eyes shut and stopping entirely for a moment before regaining his composure, "...Remind me to get rid of these pants..."
Aether furrows his brow, then whispers, "Did you fucking piss yourself or-"
"No!" Dew shouts, drawing the sluggish attention of their drunken friends and one all too pleased looking water ghoul, lowering his voice, "No... It's just... Rain... Inside... and it's..."
The quintessence ghoul looks between Dew's flushed face and Rain's smug grin and puts two and two together easily, "While we were at the bar-"
"No, while we were walking home just now- Yes at the fucking bar!" Dew hisses, "...Twice."
"Rain!" Aether calls over to the ghoul, earning a panicked, squeaky, "Whatareyoudoing-" from Dew before the ghoul motions for him to come over and, "Take some responsibility and carry your boy home, will ya??"
And that's how Dew finds himself hoisted up onto Rain's back -thankfully not fully up onto his shoulders- and, in a way, getting to be on "top" for the first time that evening.
Swiss, despite being piss drunk, takes time out of his busy schedule -trying to climb every light post they pass by- to walk beside them and tease him about just that, albeit none the wiser to the events that unfolded in the bathroom.
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2024skin · 11 months ago
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I'm actually kind of peeved about this like he just seriously asked me to spend thousands of dollars on a whim. I don't even have a passport or a birth certificate
bf messages me out of nowhere to be like "we should go to Asia this year" boy you can't even commit to a phone call
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sparklecarehospital · 11 months ago
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been reflecting on my year a bit, and i was thinking about something. i think i know what the best thing i did for myself this year was.
making cometcare public. making the ask blog.
ive had this AU stirring in my brain since 2019, ever since i got really attached to doomi during the haunted arc. one reason i went so long without revealing pollarrydoomi as a ship to readers was because doom's crush wasn't public information until late 2021.
i had kept his crush a mystery for 3 years, but revealed it after a fun experience where people figured out who it was through guessing. i'm pretty sure i did a poll about it? asking people to guess who they thought it was, and uni won the vote, meaning everyone had already figured it out.
after pollarrydoomi was revealed and i started drawing art for it and people made fanart for it, i still couldn't post any of my AU art because ally wasn't public and she and howie were in the AU. in july 2022, for the comic's birthday, i revealed ally as a character to the readers. others around the time had started to notice characters i had in pfps and i ended up telling everyone i did have pollarrydoomi ship kids, but i didn't make them public.
in november 2022, i revealed eve on toyhouse. after her reveal, i would soon reveal sly as well in december 2022 on my birthday (revealing sly as a birthday present to myself is such a funny gesture now that you guys know how important he is to me). over the next few weeks i revealed cream, frosty, and marco as well. all of the main cometkids except chem.
then one day someone out there suggested that i make an ask blog for the cometcare AU. it was such a spontaneous decision, and i didn't even really know what i was gonna do with it at first. i was just kinda messing around. but when i made the blog i realized that if i wanted this AU to be experienced in complete authenticity, i couldn't make uni cis.
so i revealed uni being trans through the blog, despite the fact i'd gone so many years without ever revealing her identity. why did i do it? there's a lot of reasons. not wanting to make her a "dad" in the AU contributed, but also i felt like it wouldn't be detrimental to the story to confirm a character being trans. it also made me (and the crew in general) a lot more comfortable being able to properly refer to uni with her actual pronouns.
making the ask blog really changed me, because finally i could share this little family and comfort story i'd built in my brain with the world and make it real and make content for it and let people consume it.
but what stopped me most of all?
i've said it many times before... but i felt like it was cringey.
i felt like making an AU with 93985893844 fankids in a ridiculous complicated polycule wasn't something a Serious content creator should do, and i was really worried the reception would be negative or people would think it was stupid or something. i did NOT expect it to become as popular as it is. the blog actually has more followers than the MAIN ASK BLOG for the canon comic. it was received SO POSITIVELY and the fact it was just kind of blows me away.
it means so much to me. being able to share the most special thing in my life with people and for people to actually like it and have fun with me and want to see it, and for me to be able to not have to follow strict professionalism about spoilers and chronological storytelling, and being able to change and add in things whenever i felt like it. it's such a freeing experience.
when i was a kid, i used to make stories and OCs and i didn't take them as seriously as i do the sparklecare reboot. this kind of turned into my entire life and career kinda, so i had to take it more seriously. but making this AU honestly just makes me feel like i'm a kid again, it makes me feel like i can have fun and literally do whatever the fuck i want without worrying what people think or if it's realistic or if it makes any sense.
i know though, that some people don't like pollarrydoomi. and i know why. whether it's because of being attached to barruni (of course, they're the canon ship and main characters, i get it) or just having discomfort with the idea of shipping doom with anyone when canonically he hasn't experienced a redemption arc... i get it. i know not everyone likes it.
and that's okay! people are entitled to having their own feelings about content. i understand it. and i've come to accept that's always going to be the case with anything i do with these characters.
but i'm still going to do this for myself. i do this because it makes me happy to just have fun and not worry about being serious all the time. it feels good, especially when it's with characters that are really really important to me.
cometcare is genuinely the most special and important thing i've ever made for myself, it's such a huge piece of my identity and it makes me who i am. and being able to make this story public and share it with people and share these things that have been in my brain for so long with others means so much to me.
that's why i think it was the best thing i've done this year. it's kind of literally changed my life to be able to talk about them. it's made me happier than i've ever been making content. i'm not just making it to entertain myself alone anymore, i'm making it to entertain others like i do with other stuff. and the fact people actually like it still is unbelievable to me.
so, i guess my outlook for next year as it comes is to continue to stop taking everything so seriously. i can tell my stories however i want to. i hope others can realize they can do this too.
please make whatever you want, whenever you what, as much as you want, even if it doesn't make sense or if it's "cringe". you will be so much happier when you realize as a creator you DON'T have to take all of this so seriously. the comic still exists and people read it even if i'm doing this. You Can Do Whatever You Want And Nobody Can Ever Stop You. the only person who can stop you is yourself when you let your inhibitions get in the way of your ability to create things for yourself.
have fun! life is too short to take everything you do seriously
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starry-bi-sky · 11 months ago
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ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.
RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.
(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)
(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")
Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.
and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,
and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!
i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.
Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.
And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.
And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.
there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.
and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.
Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.
and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.
Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.
Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.
Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.
Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#cfau#childhood friends au#danny and jason are such best friends i love them so much#BUT YEAH ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT CFAU I'LL SCREAM#AND THEN TRY AND ANSWER THEM TO MY BEST ABILITY#like i could go on RANTS almost SPECIFICALLY about rath (dan) and then about jason and danny#and their friendship like i've thought about this au with a combined soulmate au and immediately hated the idea because no!#no! i can't call them soulmates. i can't it doesnt fit. their bond goes DEEPER than that. its *better* than that#this wasn't written in the stars it was forged in the back alley streets of gotham with all the broken glass under their feet#and the smell of nicotine weaving itself into the fabrics of their shirts. their souls aren't intertwined because the universe said so#they're two balls of yarn tangled together because they batted it at each other and decided to play cats cradle. and then never bothered#to untangle the string from one another. you'll never know where one ends and the other begins#i actually have a cfau miscellaneous facts post in my drafts that i need to finish too and i might do that today because of this ask <33#the fastest way to starry's heart is through her ask box#asking me questions about my aus is the fastest way to make me make more content about them ajshld#see: clone^2 (i've been coasting off the fanart i got from them for the last two days) and now this#i need to stop more before i start waxing more poetic about jason and danny's bond with one another.#also also jason is equally as feral about danny as danny is about him (see: him plotting joker's demise since he was 14) its just not#showing as much since a lot of this is from danny's pov. like dw this isn't one-sided obsession its mutual.#see: jason seeing danny's scars and immediately wanting to find out who caused it and getting murderously angry about it#its not a starry post unless its long#idk maybe im just obsessed with the idea that relationships are chosen and forged with time and that the bonds we have arent because they#were predetermined but because we made them to be. Like how clone^2 said 'i choose to be brothers' and how danny and jason said#'i choose you. i will always choose you. you're my other half. the one who watches my back. i choose you.'
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