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[thelampisaflashlight]

"A Familiar Flame" - Second conceptual piece I did where I thought it would be fun to play with scale again but in the opposite direction for the ghouls! No idea what they're thinking but they definitely are thinking...

ID in ALT text!

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My other Mountain design. I LOVE IT but I feel like if i add it into my fic people wont like it. sobs.

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Dew: "This one time, I had a really bad cold, so I was stuck in bed for a week and a half, just absolutely miserable, and I couldn't stand being alone with my thoughts, so I was binge watching movies, and on day four Cumulus brought me a collection of Barbie movies to watch..." -gives a long, thoughtful pause- "...Why do the animals look like that?" Cumulus, hands on her hips: "What, you don't like the front facing eyes elephant?" Dew: "Not when I'm full of Nyquil!" Cumulus: "But when you're not full of Nyquil-" Dew: "I still don't like it!"

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reblog to give a plushie to the person you reblogged this from

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reblog to fucking bite the person you reblog from

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Dew: "I was showing Aeon how to do tarot readings, because they were curious about how they worked, but I didn't have my deck on me, so..." Aeon, reading Swiss' fortune: "Ooh... the yellow three..." Swiss, looking at the array of Uno cards in front of him: "Is... Is that bad?" Aeon, drawing another card from the pile: "We'll just have to see what the fates hold for you..." -turns over the card- "Draw two... Tsk, it seems we need more clarity-"

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What Would You Dew?

[Been a while since I've done one of these. It's a choose your own adventure... featuring Dew! Let's go.]

There is no such thing as a haunted house; It's a silly thought, to assume the dead linger indefinitely in anything other than memory, but it is certainly a persistent one.

Despite having long since accepted the existence of the paranormal -And how could he not given what he was now?- Dew found that his fear of it was not so easily swayed.

Some would laugh to hear such a thing, because, really, what offspring of Hell should fear the things that go bump in the night?

Dew, that's who.

Call it human nature, because even if his father had been a monster in the truest sense, he'd inherited his mother's caution and sensibilities; If it's not a ghost, it could be a man, and, truly, is there anything more frightening than a man?

Perhaps, but Dew, already so put on edge by that thought, preferred not to dwell on it.

Walking the halls of the abbey as a new inductee into the church, Dew had quivered at the sight of shadows moving along the walls, cast by figures unseen, and had often run back to his room with his newly formed tail tucked between his legs when someone -usually Alpha or Ifrit- took him by surprise, but now?

Now things were... marginally better.

Returning towards the ghouls' wing of the abbey from the indoor pool, he is accompanied by nothing more than the steady pat of his bare feet on the cold, cold marble floor.

But...

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Terzo, helping a newly inducted Dewdrop fill out some paperwork: "And under special skills you've written... 'I can-'..." -looks at Dew over his reading glasses with concern, then back down at the paper- "...'I can track people's locations and discern their identities based off of their breathing'... Is this a newly acquired talent or something you've always possessed?" Dew, very innocently: "Been able to do it since I was a baby, why?" Terzo, smiling, writing in the additional notes section: "Learn how to breathe differently to avoid being pursued in case of accidental wronging-"

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While I was away on a trip with my friends last weekend, we discovered I cannot use a GameCube controller for the life of me, because the range of movement I have with my thumb is... frankly not so great.

It's funny, because I have a hitchhiker's thumb, and most of my other fingers are double jointed, but legitimately I cannot for the life of me quickly and/or accurately press the A button, and we discovered this in real time.

Like, even I didn't know this and was confused by it.

Moving it even slighter faster than a double click was difficult and caused a weird amount of tension/strain in my hand.

Ever since I discovered this, I've tried holding different controllers to see which ones actually feel right/work in my hand, and it seems like so far the ideal is the Switch's ones while they're still attached to the console.

I think certain controllers force my hand open more and that changes the grip (I mean, that's really obviously the case) but I never really thought about how the shape of a game controller could change my ability to actually play a video game, ya know?

Lowkey dodged a bullet though cause we were playing Mario Party 4, specifically Toad's Midway Madness, and, my god, that board is evil.

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Dew, recording on his phone, holding a measuring tape: "Hey, Aeth, without looking, pull out six inches-" Aether, without looking, starts taking his belt off: "Aight-" Dew, panicking: "ON THE MEASURING TAPE! ON THE MEASURING TAPE-"

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Dew, trying to send a spicy text, struggling to come up with the right words: "Dammit..." -looks at Cumulus- "Hey, Lus, I'm trying to send a text to Mount that I wanna... you know... but words are not wording, can you help?" Cumulus, takes Dew's phone, typing: -hits send and sets the phone down- Dew, picking his phone up: "What did you s... 'Thog want smash. Come smash, Thog's Thogussy.'...Lus, what the f-" Cumulus, holds up a hand: "Wait for it." -distant sounds of a phone dinging followed by loud, quickly approaching footsteps- "You're welcome." Dew: "What-" Mountain, out of breath: "Call me Fred Flintstone, baby, because I'm gonna make your Bedro-" -wheezes, hits inhaler- "...I got a little too excited, gimme... gimme a minute... Guh, fuck... rock." Dew, looks at Cumulus: "Look what you've done to my boy... Also, that song reference was pretty dated, but I'll take it."

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I just got home from a trip with my friends, and now all the energy in my body is gone and I am... the sleepy.

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If I were a character in a sitcom, I would like for every time I appeared in the background/was spotted/appeared suddenly for the first seven seconds of the X-Files theme to play, even if I am simply doing mundane tasks.

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Dew: "Basically, a lot of people decided I'm some kind of dickish asshole, and instead of course correcting and trying to 'prove myself' and show that I'm not, or, rather, that I'm just some guy -because really I am just some guy- I've just kind of let people believe what they want to believe. Has it caused me irreparable self esteem issues and caused me to have a divorced sense of who I am verses who people tell me I am?" -hands on hips- "...Yes." -long pause- Dew, clears throat, looks at ghostly camera crew: "You'll be dead twice over if anyone finds this footage." Ghost Cameraman: "uUurgHhh..." Dew: "You're right, I'm sorry, that was unnecessary and mean, I apologize, you didn't deserve that." Ghost Cameraman: "Uurgh, rrgh..." Dew: "That's a relief."

[thelampisaflashlight]

Some recent customer moments that almost had me break and question my sanity. Let's go.

-Obligatory, "Why, yes, Karen, we were closed on those days, because they were holidays and we are humans with families and friends as well." blanket statement for Christmas and New Years. Ad nauseum.

-A customer asks me if we have a certain product, I tell them we do and where to find it; The customer goes in the opposite direction and grabs the wrong thing and is told as such.

Despite physically showing them where the product was again and explaining that NONE of the ones on the shelf they keep going to are it, they repeat this three more times.

They then proceed to ask me to punch their frequent flyer card for transactions made over the weekend, but cannot recall what they got or how many bags.

I inform they I cannot do that, they become upset and tell me they'll shop elsewhere from now on.

I saw them again yesterday.

-I put up MULTIPLE signs explaining why our shop cat might be in her crate, woman proceeds to get upset that the cat is in her crate.

I mention the signs, woman said she didn't read them because she was busy getting corn; Cat's crate is tucked away in an aisle and is often walked past by customers, so in order to see the cat, she had to be in front of it... the signs are on top of and in front of her crate.

Woman also proceeded to talk about how our old cat used to be allowed outside etc.

-Encountered the woman my former boss dragged me into a psychic ritual on a duck with post dealing with the previous customer.

Somehow a much more sane and sensible conversation; Psychic woman agreed the cat was safest in her crate given the circumstances.

-Had to politely explain to a customer over the phone that I am not qualified to treat and/or diagnose her chickens' illness as I am not a vet, however I was able to tell her how to proceed with preventative care; Quarantining the affected birds, cleaning everything, etc.

Customer keeps asking what she can do to cure her birds, wants a magic fix it all medicine.

I suggest electrolytes since she won't take, "I would speak to a veterinarian." as a valid response.

I am a cashier.

-The sheer amount of customers that lick their fingers to separate bills or even credit cards are exactly why I make people walk around to use the card reader. It's nasty.

And lastly;

-Customers bringing their dogs into the store on leash, but refusing to actually hold said leash, creating a tripping hazard and allowing them to go wherever they want and approach anyone and anything without restriction.

Mind you, we allow dogs on leash, if the animal is being handled properly.

Additional, mind you, that I was attacked by a dog that was on a leash before.

Bonus: Most of this happened yesterday.

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A concept.

Dew, waxing poetic about his lover (whomever you choose), like, the most heartachingly beautiful, adoring sentiments you've ever heard, without shame or embarrassment, just so, so very loving.

But also.

Dew being unable to articulate a single word in the heat of the moment, just absolutely incapable of doing anything save for mumble and whine, and paw at them in the most pathetic way, making the prettiest little sounds...

Something, something, "I'm a poetic in theory, but a fool in practice."

Anyway.

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...

To whatever being cursed me to be sick and on my period at the same time, please know the payback will be three fold.