thelampisaflashlight

[thelampisaflashlight]

Me, crafting NPCs for d&d: "What if he was pretty, but also kind of a bitch?"

Also me, knowing my reputation for making the former: "I'm going to make a bitch on paper, but a sweetheart in practice to throw the people through a loop."

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Me, waking up 19 minutes before my alarm is due to go off: "I'll just keep lying here until it goes off... Wait." -checks phone, notices alarm was never set- "...I shall trust the universe and get up now I suppose-"

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Mountain, shivering: "I walked by the conference room earlier, and Copia and Perpetua were both simultaneously spinning on the office chairs at exactly the same speed, and stopped immediately to stare at me when I walked past the window, and now I am deeply afraid they're plotting to kill me." Dew, patting his shoulder: "Aw, Mount, if there was a set of twins that would try and kill you, it's not those two." -points at Sister Imperator's sisters- "Now those two-"

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Thinking about what my friend said after we discovered my bracelet was made of bone and was like, "You have a way of doing that." in regards to acquiring strange/cursed items, and I was mentally like, "I do n-Oh. Oh, yeah, I kind of do."

Because I have that weird bracelet with the names, a book called The Other Side of Death that is so old the letters are press printed into the paper, and a ring I've never worn that I acquired in a cemetery on my 21st birthday, the same day my friend fell in a gopher hole and heard slightly ominous whispering.

Add this to the weird shit about me category along with, "plays the kalimba" and "coin collector".

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The Fun Fact about this one, is that I got another bracelet the same day, that has a potentially coded message and a list of names inside of the band, that I didn't know was there until I opened the clasp.

Somehow that one is more sinister than the one with actual bone tied to it.

Me: "Man, I should make something for my lunch tomorrow, but I don't know what..."

The bracelet I bought from the antique shop that turned out to be partially made of bone: "PB&J is a solid choice, good balance of sugar and protein."

Me: "Thanks, Greg, 'preciate it."

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Me: "Man, I should make something for my lunch tomorrow, but I don't know what..."

The bracelet I bought from the antique shop that turned out to be partially made of bone: "PB&J is a solid choice, good balance of sugar and protein."

Me: "Thanks, Greg, 'preciate it."

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I joined my friends for D&D last night, and since my character is outside of the main party (I play a pseudo NPC that's the party's lawyer... I will not elaborate at this time.) I decided to mess around a bit and see where the adventure/chaos took me.

Yeahh...

I was spirited away by Dionysus.

My bunny bard (secret dragon) lawyer is now partying with Dionysus after getting really, really high in order to speak to the fates.

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The goal for today is to get through work so I can go see my friends play D&D later.

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Dew, after getting a text from Aether: "Your message finds me in the nude." Aether, hopeful: "Oh~? ;)" -thinks for a minute- "Why are you naked? You said you were taking a shower two hours ago... Did you do the thing again?" Dew, texting back: "The post shower introspective sitting on the bed thing? Yeah." Aether: "Baby no-"

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Boss: -texts me about a post made by a hatchery we were looking at-

Me, already out of work for three hours: "I could check it out, or I could say I didn't see the text until tomorrow morning..."

Also me, researching the hatchery and their chick bundles, texting my boss back: "They don't vaccinate for Marek's disease, and their 'surprise' chick bundles might have other birds like waterfowl or turkeys-"

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Realizing I have to get dressed for work, staring at the clock to maximize the amount of time I do not have to do that...

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Working retail, especially when it comes to the price setting side of things, you start to realize why certain things cost more, and you're like, either, "That's reasonable considering what it is." or "Bro, why the fuck does this cost so much??"

There are definitely products they boost up, because they know people have to/will 100% buy it regardless of the price; It's usually stuff that's necessary and/or popular enough for people to mentally justify the cost, but then there's the shit where it's like, "Why the fuck is this $11.99??"

Most stores use a x1.4 or x1.5 mark up based on their cost, so bigger retailers who can afford to do wholesale/get large amounts of a product at a time get it for a lower base cost, and thus can sell it for less.

The price has to make up for the cost, aka you have recoup the loss and make a profit on top of it in order to stay out of the red.

However, some products are definitely marked way, waaayyyy higher to maximize profit.

It's like, okay, You have a product that costs the store $40/per, so you sell it for, say, $56, cause that's an x1.4 mark up, it recoups your lost and, theoretically, you make a $16 profit, which means you have money to put into paying for more product/to pay your employees.

But, being realistic, it's not just $56, it's more likely $56.99,and then there's tax, and tax varies depending on where you're at, but let's say you're in Florida.

Florida (at least as far as I know) has a 6% sales tax, that's roughly 6 cents for every dollar, or .60 cents for every $10.

So the actual cost to the customer is closer to $60.41, because you'd be paying roughly 3.40~3.42 for tax.

That's why that bag of peanuts that's $21.99 comes out to $23.31 at check out.

Something, something, math.

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At work, since our change of service providers, whenever our phone line goes out, it sets off our alarm, which means I have to very quickly reset it so it doesn't call out, but also, in order to reset the whole system and get the phones back on, I have to unplug the modem and remove the battery.

This was the instruction I was given on day one of having this new system and I'm just... Hhh... =_=

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Abstract

[No one asked for more Ripley content, in fact I think people would rather I just write something about the main ghouls, but my boy is back on my mind, and so is his dynamic with Omega and Copia so here we are.]

He's a sinner with a loose grasp of a the saints, who calls upon Saint Benedict when he drinks, and Saint Christopher when he stumbles home; Headlong into the bushes, crashing down and cursing Saint Francis, begging Mother Mary for forgiveness when all he can do is lay there and cry.

The stars overhead, a peek at the heavens, become obscured by clouds, like his doubts fogging his belief.

And then he's drawn up.

Hands under his arms, pulled up like he weighs nothing, nothing at all.

"Get yourself together, Champ, you're halfway home." a voice tells him, followed by a solid thump on the back, "There's a lad, keep on going."

He stops.

"I don't know where that is..." he whispers, "I don't..."

"I'll show you then." the voice tells him, "Though I'll need you to stand up a little straighter so we can walk together."

The walk is long, but short, but just the right length to clear his head enough to gaze upon his savior with glassy eyes.

"Are you Saint Anthony?" he questions, and a laugh that is not entirely his own shakes his body, "No?"

"Hardly." comes a gentle reply, and suddenly the grip on him loosens, and he's tumbling down, down, down, "Careful now, the floor is not as forgiving as the hedges."

He hums dumbly, knees pressing to cold stone.

"Perhaps I don't want to be forgiven." he remarks, mind in a swirl, eyes watering, "Perhaps..."

"For someone who doesn't want to be forgiven, you seem rather remorseful down there on your knees." the other says, coming to crouch beside him, just out of view, "What grave sin have you committed that you've come to be in such a state, hm~?"

His confession comes out in a nonsensical babble that even great scholars could not decipher, a messy spew of emotions hard to dissect from one another, and a hand comes down to cup his face.

"Ah, oh goodness, look at you..." Pitying purple eyes bore into his soul, "Sweet little lamb..."

"'m not a sh... sheep." he manages, a hiccup in-between, "'m... Mega 'm not a sheep..."

Omega squeezes the man's face, some strange emotion flitting across his face.

"Than what are you? Who are you?" he questions -taunts, teases- tilting his horned head, white hairs catching the light of the grand chandelier overhead, the one that has only just come back into his world view, and glittering like snow, "Hm? Can you tell me that?"

Shaking hands grasp the wrist of the one squishing his face, and he tries to remain focused.

"Noo..." he slurs dismissively, "Don't wanna..."

The ghoul scoffs and throws his head back with a dry laugh before letting out a sigh.

"You're being petulant."

"Mn... don't use such big words..." the man whines, "...you're so mean to me..."

"I'm being mean?" Omega asks, forcibly turning his head to the side, having maintained his grasp on his cheeks, "You're the one slipping away to drink away his sorrows in a dive, making me have to run all over creation to find you and bring you home, now tell me who's being mean? Hm?"

A true puzzle.

He paws at the ground, dodging eye contact.

"Oh dear, what have we here?" another voice interrupts, follows by the tack, tack, tack, of descending footfalls on wooden stairs, "Oh, Ripley..."

He blinks.

Ripley.

Right, right that's...

"I don't... I don't know..." Ripley sniffles, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

"Oh, sweet, sweet lamb..." Omega coos, drawing the smaller man into his arms, rubbing away the indent from his fingers on his face, "I know you are."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

"Shh... shh, no, no, I know you are... Poor little thing..."

Ripley presses his face into Omega's chest, breathing in the scent of old linen that clings to him.

"I want it to stop..." he whispers into cloth, fur, and flesh, directly to the heart of him, "Make it stop..."

Omega pets his hair gently, speaking softly as the figure from the stairs comes to stand beside them.

"He's getting worse." they say without fear of being heard, "Every day he's getting worse."

"He's very sick." Omega says, the frown evident in his tone, "I worry that... Cardinal, he's your protégé, what would you have me do about it?"

Copia gives pause, but, ultimately, says nothing more.

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I was watching the show Evil, and the scene in the first episode where the demon shows up came on and I was like, "Well, Kristen, on one hand, I get why you're freaked out and also what the fuck, George, but, on the other hand, if a demon went down on me-"

Something, something you know where my head's at, and George's in that scene for that matter.