#Just finished The Secret History
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The kids yearn for the aesthetics. This comes back to bite them in the ass.
#Just finished The Secret History#My brain is still buzzing#What a gorgeous book#donna tartt#the secret history#henry winter#francis abernathy#richard papen#camilla macaulay#charles macaulay#bunny corcoran
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you have to be at least a little bit gay to be a main character in a donna tartt novel
#so I just finished the goldfinch#and you cannot tell me Theo and Boris were not boyfriends#and don’t even get me started on Richard and Henry#donna tartt#the goldfinch#the secret history#tsh#dark academia#literature#poetry#quotes#books#dps
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i haven't even finished tsh yet but the fact that there's people out there who genuinely like these characters so much, not within the context of how they're written but in an 'im in love with them way' is really absurd to me because every single one of these characters have filled me at times with the sort of terror and unease that i can only describe as a half-empty convenience store where the lights buzz and drone and are such a pallid shade of yellow that you feel quite sick and it feels like you've entered a realm so disconnected from your own reality that anything could happen and even just the sluggish, weary half-stand of the cashier is an act of hostility and you just want to get out of there as quickly as possible. does that make sense.
#the secret history#tsh#this is how i feel about henry winter#perhaps im being too dramatic but oh well!!!#i just don't understand what there is to obsess over#writing-wise they're all perfect#but like???? what?? why do people wanna kiss them#i need to finish it anyways im like 77% of the way through#i doubt my opinion will change#it might just cement itself even deeper into my brain
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does anyone else, when they look at a pretty person or sneak a glance at a friend when they’re not looking, get a sort of painful twinge in their chest? like the fleeting realisation that your hungry, but it’s in your heart instead? wanting something with more than want, but not knowing why, or how, or what.
imagining their touch, the softest most delicate touch, lasting just a moment. how much it’d make you jump, send lightning through you. and how much you crave it regardless. it’s something you haven’t really had the chance to experience before.
it makes your face run cold with tingles, too. and liquid mercury pouring down your back. and your cheeks burn and your hands feel so … physical. you’re so acutely aware of where and how your hands lie.
when you look at them and think “i just want to feel something positive. i wish you could give me that”
#this post is about a few things. it’s my feelings w gender envy. and how 18 month into hrt i still get this feelings#it’s about how i’ve looked at people when they’re not looking at me. just to look at them in secret. and thought about things.#and then dispelled all the thoughts the moment the glance ends#^ and that is a mixture of repressed and still being repressed in its entirety bisexuality. as well as my history of repressing crushes.#for various reasons#it’s also about evangelion#i just finished it#and this is definitely very shinji especially shinji and kaoru (? i think that’s his name)#last night i pretty much wrote all this in the tags of an art of shinji doing this. stealing that quick glance while kaoru isn’t looking#and you can just tell in his face#what he’s feeling#what he’s thinking sure#but what he’s physically feeling in his chest and in his face#so yeah
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about books
#i read secret history before and i’m not fan a lot but i liked writing and story little bit and i heard this book is so similar to this#i bought if we were villians after not reading loooong time…#and i didnt like it and i cant finish it 😭 the secret history much more better than this. if i dont like book and love writing i’d finish#but i dont wanna read this but i cant stop cuz its expensive book and it’s been long time to no read…#anyway i’ll read part part…my next book is bunny and if its dissappoints me too i’ll read just pdf…
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"But I can't know God's intentions... How could it depend on my decision... Who made me a judge of who shall live and who shall not?" - Crime and Punishment
#oc: sophia a. naumenko/sonya#I'm back with another moodboard for another little girl#i usually call ocs my daughters dont ask why#she's a rather old oc way pass 10 years old but i love revisiting old characters and give them a little upgrade bc my writing at the time#was shit or i didnt do enough research for them#i'm actually quite proud of myself she's the only oc who's over 30 years and was married#and divorced lol#her lore is crazy around those years#and she's my second jewish character#the pastries at the bottom left are hamantaschen they're served on purim and she was born during purim katan#i found this out yesterday when i checked the calendars but i'm happy with that detail she deserves to be born on a joyous holiday#although she's a hellsing oc her story is set during the dawn timeline bc as a history nerd i cant keep myself away from ww2#and the cold war#at least i have reasons to research the 60s and the 70s more#and since deep down i know that the dawn will never be finished i got a lot of room for worldbuilding and headcannons#bc i'm not that tied to cannon events#the old version of her had some supernatural abilities but now I decided that she'll be a regular human who's just a damn good sniper#it's way more fun to have a mortal character thrown into this story and setting and see how she interacts with all the stuff going on#and this also means she had to keep her involvement with the organization a secret to her ex-husband#i'm gonna put her in the tags yall have some damn good and pretty ocs out there its like releasing your child at the playgrounds#hellsing oc#my moodboards :3
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I need more Hoid.
#I just finished Secret History right after Tress of the Emerald Sea#Trying not to be Obsessed™️#Cosmere#Hoid#is he a shard? what was he doing on that plant (Mistborn)?#I only have Mistborn era 1 knowledge and tress knowledge#I’ll start era 2 as soon as it’s available#from the library
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I started reading crime and punishment last year and i fell so in love with that book but i had to stop reading halfway through because i was awfully burnt out from school and my brain wouldnt even have been able to handle reading dr seuss. Im so upset DJDJGD i need to pick it up again because guys 200 pages in i already knew that was going to be one of my favorite books ever. And i start school again next week and idk when im going to get the chance to read it again. This is so tragic
#like it was up there with the secret history and 1984 in my fave books ranking#crime and punishment#fyodor dostoevsky#maybe ill read it after i finish the one im reading now#which is frankenstein btw and im absolutely enamoured with this novel#i need someone to talk to about it#maybe ill read notes from the underground first as a warm-up which ive also been so excited to read#or just dive right in to crime and punishment who knows#rodion romanovich raskolnikov#rodya raskolnikov
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i have a really bad feeling henry is going to c***** s****** and i’m trying to resist the urge to just throw in the towel now because i know i won’t be able to handle it.
#what i mean is#i’m tempted to just not finish it#because i can feel it in my bones#i know there’s no world in which i should be this attached to him and yet#here we are#i will definitely cry#what about it#does anyone wanna be my emotional support tsh buddy <3#the secret history#henry winter#donna tartt#tsh#dark academia#bookblr
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One thing about Richard Papen is he will be doing homework
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The Secret History- Donna Tartt (1992)
#just finished tsh and wow#just wow#so unhinged#unpopular opinion didnt really like julian#i swear richard had a thing for henry#like we defo know he had a thing for francis#henry winter#richard papen#francis abernathy#charles macaulay#camilla macaulay#bunny corcoran#the secret history#dark academia#donna tartt
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richard is babygirl and also a dumb bitch and also he was right about everything
and henry fucking knew it, too
#hi ive just finished tsh#going insane over the whole poison thing. henry would it have KILLED YOU to listen to other ppl earlier. christ#listen ok they're all atrociously stupid but had richard been in charge it all would've been fine#cause he's the only one with a pragmatic bone in his body#ok that's unfair camilla and charles bone had some. until the end that is sdfjkls#but then again that couldn't have happened bc richard doesn't even know how right he is about things#cause all the knowledge comes to him at random through providence#i could go on about this but sth sth him and henry are foils sth sth#anyway#the secret history#the secret history shitposting#misc fandoms#richard papen#henry winter#camilla macaulay#charles macaulay#francis abernathy#gets an honorary tag bc he too could've fixed things if he wasn't a coward#if this sounds angry it's not i do love these characters. dunno what it says about me but i do#tw swearing#my posts
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the reason it’s taken me half a year to finish the secret history:
#the secret history#summarized my main gripe with her writing style in this one message lol#certainly not helping that I’ve got a lot on my mind already but I’ve finished several other books in the meantime#that were actually able to grip me#so donna tartt is simply never gonna be a favorite for me#even though i enjoy a lot of the themes and ideas#and there IS gripping storytelling in there#the pacing is just insane to me and especially in the goldfinch it had a huge problem with reiterating things we had already been told
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anyways it's been five days since i bought the secret history and i have 58 pages left and ummmm. what does one do with their life after finishing it. i think i went through it too fast because its all been over too fast and????? what do i do once its done??? die???
#the secret history#literally im going insane#i should finish it then keep it on a shelf for months#reread it all those months later just to experience it again#IM GOING CRAZY????#bunny corcoran im following in your path (over the edge of a ravine)
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anybody else in the “still thinking about the secret history” club or wanna start one? because my little brain is swimming in thoughts and revelations rn.
#finished it today and wow just wow it’s phenomenal#the secret history#donna tartt#dark academia#writing
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anyone else an absolute emotional wreck when they finish a book?,, like what am i supposed to do now, move on ??
#txt#ace’s silly thoughts#i just finished the secret history and idk how to feel#i cried like thrice#about to start shadow and bone im sorry for the person i might become#books and reading#the secret history#shadow and bone
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