#Julia Hurley

[weirdlookindog]

John Barrymore and Julia Hurley in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)

[badmovieihave]

Bad movie I have Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 1920

[bookjunkiez]

The Very Contrary Fairy Blitz

  The Enchanted Garden Series Book 1 Children’s books Date Published: December 1, 2023 Publisher: Jan-Carol Publishing, Inc.     The very contrary fairy sure has a lot to say about what she must do each day. But when she decides to run away, will she make it home in time and stay? About the Author When not writing books, hosting the Emmy nominated television series, Selling Knoxville,…

[assortedmelons]

Celebrity Melons

[sparkling-treasures]

Lesbihonest Casting | Merlin & Robin Hood Ladies

Morgan/a/e - Helena Bonham Carter & Katie McGrath

Elizabeth Hurley & Helen Mirren

Guinevere - Lena Headey & Julia Ormond

Maid Marian - Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio & Cate Blanchett

Uma Thurman & Jenna Louise Coleman

Lucy Griffiths & Amy Yasbeck

Keira Knightley

Guinevere

Robin Hood & Maid Marian's Daughter, Princess Of Thieves

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

anyway I know it's been said a million times but I do adore when people decide the most off the wall pair of characters are besties

[celebclippinz]

Magazine clippings

[autisticangus]

[youremyheaven]

Astrology & Voice : A Quick Study

1. Prominent 3h placements can give you a very distinct voice

2. People who have a deeper/huskier voice often have Mercury aspecting Pluto. Ex: Miley Cyrus & Whitney Houston (both have mercury conjunct pluto)

3. Mercury in a water sign can give the native a very sultry voice. They probably sound a lil intimidating and their voices will always be slightly low pitched (Zoe Saldana, Lana Del Rey, Pamela Anderson, Adriana Lima, Gisele Bundchen)

if Mercury is in Cancer, the voice tends to be soft and calming to hear. Ex: Margot Robbie, Elsa Pataky, Kate Beckinsale etc

Mercury in Scorpio gives the native a certain, almost nasally twang to their voice, it's not exactly nasally but i cant think of a good way to describe it, its deeper and fuller sounding but there's a certain twang to it.

Ex: Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, Julia Roberts, Madonna, Kris Jenner, Demi Moore, Gabrielle Union & Miley Cyrus

especially Miley & Demi have this very gravelly cigar smoking kinda voice

Mercury in Pisces gives a very intimidating, richer or fuller vocal timbre

Ex: Mariah Carey (her speaking voice), Sharon Stone, Liz Taylor, Alan Rickman, Lucy Lawless, Juliette Binoche, Fergie (her speaking voice)

4. Mercury in Fire signs gives a rather shrill voice, unless there are other aspects involved

Others may find their voice/talking irritating; they often have "vocal fry" esque tendencies

Mercury in Leo: Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Demi Lovato, Lindsay Lohan

Mercury in Sagittarius can give you either a very husky, sensuous voice or a very "loud" one, there's no in between

Ex: Scarlett Johansson, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Vanessa Paradis, Carla Bruni, Bjork etc

Mercury in Aries natives have a very tonal pitch, their voices have a very "radio announcer" quality, idk how to describe it 😭😭

Ex: Diana Ross, Jessica Chastain, Madison Beer, Carmen Electra, Jennifer Garner etc

5. Mercury in Earth signs

Mercury in Taurus also gives natives a very soulful, deep-ish husky voice. They're very sexy sounding

Ex: Gigi Hadid, Uma Thurman, Brooke Shields, Selena Quintanilla, Renee Zellwegger etc

Mercury in Virgo: these natives have a very "sing song-y" voice, they speak in a very rhythmic way and modulate their voice very well. if you listen to any of their interviews, they always speak like they're telling a story, if you know what I mean.

Ex: Madonna, Kylie Jenner, Hugh Grant, Monica Bellucci, Amy Winehouse, Salma Hayek, Dakota Johnson etc

Mercury in Capricorn gives natives a raspy voice, their voices tend to be very low pitched and some of them kind of sound like they have a perpetual cold

Ex: Taehyung, Zayn Malik, Shakira, Alex Turner, R Kelly, Alexa Demie

Sometimes however it can give the native a very "sugary girly" voice

Ex: Milla Jovovich, Taylor Swift, Zooey Deschanel, Ellen Degeneres

6. Mercury in Air signs

Mercury in Gemini natives are very verbose; they're articulate but they're very wordy; they also speak in a rather expressive manner; usually they're very well spoken

Ex: Angelina Jolie, Elizabeth Hurley, Helena Bonham Carter, Courteney Cox, Stevie Nicks, Cate Blanchett etc

Mercury in Libra natives often speak in a very expressive and animated way, its so cutee🥰

Ex: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Zendaya, Brigitte Bardot, Bella Hadid, Kate Winslet, Emma Stone, Gwen Stefani, Sophia Loren etc

Mercury in Aquarius: ive often noticed that these natives can sound a bit clueless or zoned out when they're speaking 🤭

Ex: Harry Styles, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Paris Hilton (in the 2000s at least)

[saintshigaraki]

my reading list currently looks like....

frankenstein* (ill probably finish this one up in a day or two)

the salt grows heavy by cassandra khaw

dracula

wuthering heights

the death of jane lawrence by caitlin starling

the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson

howls moving castle by dianna wynne jones

the secret history by donna tartt

jane eyre

drive your plow over the bones of the dead by olga tokarczuk

dune by frank herbert

we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson

birnam wood by eleanor catton

are prisons obsolete? by angela davis

a game of thrones* by grrm

daughter of smoke* and bone by laini taylor

a clash of kings* by grrm

days of blood and starlight by laini taylor

into the drowning deep by mira grant

dune messiah by frank herbert

their eyes were watching god by zora neale hurston

bunny by mona awad

a storm of swords* by grrm

the lottery and other stories by shirley jackson

a psalm for the wild-built by becky chamber

the poppy war by r.f. kuang

the ash family by molly dektar

project hail mary by andy weir

beartown by fredrik backman

a prayer for the crown shy by becky chamber

once there were wolves by charlotte mcconaghy

mother thing by ainslie hogarth

all’ s well by mona awad

the long way to a small and angry planet by becky chambers

the goblin emperor by katherine addison

the memory police by yoko ogawa

our wives under the sea by julia armfield

nightbitch by rachel yoder

the painter’s daughters by emily howes

the will of the many by james islington

a fig for all the devils by c.s. fritz

the devil and mrs davenport by paulette Kennedy

prophet song by paul lynch

our share of night by mariana enriquez

the unmaking of june farrow by adrienne young

the shadow of the gods by john gwynne

the other valley by scott alexander howard

whale fall by elizabeth o’connor

the sword of kaigen by m.l. wang

the cruel prince by holly black

the wicked king by holly black

the dragon republic by r.f. kuang

the burning god by r.f. kuang

starve acre by andrew michael hurley

the assassin's apprentice by robin hobb

the hunger of the gods by john gwynne

a secret history of witches by louisa morgan

the fury of the gods by john gwynne

the god of endings by jacqueline holland

a feast for crows* by grrm

*rereads

[goryhorroor]

Hi! No idea of this is your wheelhouse at all, but do you have any recs for horror novels? In particular more modern books. Not sure if this is your thing at all so no worries if the answer is no, just curious! Have a lovely day!!

sure! these are some of my favorites

Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt

Whisper by Chang Yu-ko, but you can find the translation by Roddy Flagg

Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez, translation by Megan McDowell

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

The Hole by Pyun Hye-Young, translation by Sora Kim-Russell

You've Lost a Lot of Blood by Eric LaRocca

My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones

A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay

Bad Cree by Jessica Johns

Orpheus Builds a Girl by Heather Parry

The Shadow of Book of Ji Yun, translated by Yi Izzy Yu & John Yu Branscum

Cursed Bunny by Bora Chung, translated by Anton Hur

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

The Book of Accidents by Chuck Wendig

A Good House for Children by Kate Collins

Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed by Mariana Enriquez, translated by Megan McDowell

The Grip of It by Jac Jemc

The Last House on Needless Street by Catriona Ward

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

The Gingerbread Men by Joanna Corrance

Sisters by Daisy Johnson

The Lonely by Andrew Michael Hurley

Served by Scott Snyder, Scott Tuft & Attila Futaki

The Lost Ones by Anita Frank

Wilder Girls by Rory Power

Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand

From Below by Darcy Coates

The Fisherman by John Langen

[world-of-wales]

CONFIRMED ATTENDEES TO THE CORONATION OF

♚♛ KING CHARLES III & QUEEN CAMILLA ♛♚

───────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────────────

♔ ┆ Foreign Royalty

King Felipe & Queen Letizia 🇪🇸

King Philippe & Queen Mathilde and Princess Elisabeth, The Duchess of Brabant 🇧🇪

King Jigme Khesar & Queen Jetsun Pema 🇧🇹

Yang di-Pertuan Agong Abdullah & Raja Permaisuri Agong Tunku 🇲🇾

Kīngi Tūheitia & Makau Ariki Te Atawhai of the Māori

Grand Duke Henri & Grand Duchess Maria Teresa 🇱🇺

King Carl Gustaf and Crown Princess Victoria 🇸🇪

King Willem-Alexander & Queen Maxima, Princess Beatrix and Crown Princess Catharina-Amalia, The Princess of Orange 🇳🇱

Crown Prince Haakon & Crown Princess Mette-Marit 🇳🇴

Crown Prince Fumihito & Crown Princess Kiko 🇯🇵

Crown Prince Frederick & Crown Princess Mary 🇩🇰

Prince Albert & Princess Charlene 🇲🇨

King Vajiralongkorn & Queen Suthida 🇹🇭

King Abdullah II & Queen Rania 🇯🇴

King Tupou & Queen Nanasipau’u 🇹🇴

Hereditary Prince Alois & Hereditary Princess Sophie 🇱🇮

King Mswati III & Queen Sibonelo LaMbikiza 🇸🇿

Crown Prince Sheikh Mishal Al Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah 🇰🇼

Crown Prince Theyazin bin Haitham Al Said 🇴🇲

Emir Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani 🇶🇦

Princess Lalla Meryem 🇲🇦

Prince Turki bin Mohammed bin Fahd Minister of State 🇸🇦

Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed 🇦🇪

King Letsie III & Queen Masenate 🇱🇸

Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah 🇧🇳

King Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa 🇧🇭

Asantehene Otumfuo Osei Tutu II & Lady Julia of the Ashanti

♔ ┆ Deposed Royalty & Distant Family Relations

Queen Anne-Marie, Crown Prince Pavlos & Crown Princess Mary Chantal 🇬🇷

Margrave Bernhard & Margravine Stephanie of Baden

Landgrave Donatus of Hesse

Prince Philipp & Princess Saskia of Hohenlohe - Langenburg

Margareta (Custodian of the Crown) and Prince Radu 🇷🇴

Crown Prince Alexander & Crown Princess Katherine 🇷🇸

Tsar Simeon & Tsaritsa Margarita 🇧🇬

Annoying Ginger from Montecito

♔ ┆ Governor-Generals of Commonwealth Realms

Governor-General David Hurley & Linda Hurley 🇦🇺

Governor-General Sir Rodney Williams & Lady Williams 🇦🇬

Governor-General Sir Cornelius A. Smith & Lady Smith 🇧🇸

Governor-General Dame Cindy Kiro & Richard Davies 🇳🇿

Governor-General Mary Simon & Whit Fraser 🇨🇦

Governor-General Sir Patrick Allen & Lady Allen 🇯🇲

Governor-General Dame Froyla Tzalam 🇧🇿

Governor-General Dame Cécile La Grenade 🇬🇩

King's Representative Sir Tom Marsters & Lady Tuaine Marsters 🇨🇰

Governor-General Sir David Vunagi & Lady Vunagi 🇸🇧

Governor-General Sir Bob Dadae 🇵🇬

Governor-General Dame Marcella Liburd 🇰🇳

Deputy Governor-General Hyleta Liburd of Nevis

Acting Governor-General Errol Charles 🇱🇨

Governor-General Dame Susan Dougan 🇻🇨

Governor-General Sir Tofiga Vaevalu Falani 🇹🇻

♔ ┆ Heads of Governments of Commonwealth Realms

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese & Jodie Haydon 🇦🇺

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau & Sophie Grégoire Trudeau 🇨🇦

Prime Minister Philip Davis 🇧🇸

Prime Minister Dickon Mitchell 🇬🇩

Prime Minister Chris Hipkins 🇳🇿

Prime Minister Terrance Drew 🇰🇳

Prime Minister Ralph Gonsalves 🇻🇨

♔ ┆ Governmental Representatives of Commonwealth Realms

Margaret Beazley, Governor of New South Wales 🇦🇺

Linda Dessau, Governor of Victoria 🇦🇺

Jeannette Young, Governor of Queensland 🇦🇺

Chris Dawson, Governor of Western Australia 🇦🇺

Frances Adamson, Governor of South Australia 🇦🇺

Barbara Baker, Governor of Tasmania 🇦🇺

Former Prime Minister Hubert Ingraham 🇧🇸

Former Prime Minister Perry Christie 🇧🇸

Michael Pintard, Leader of the Opposition 🇧🇸

Janice Charette, Clerk to the Privy Council of Canada and Secretary to the Cabinet 🇨🇦

High Commissioner Kisha Abba Grant 🇬🇩

High Commissioner Phil Goff 🇳🇿

Christopher Luxon, Leader of the Opposition 🇳🇿

Koni Iguan, Deputy Speaker of the National Parliament 🇵🇬

Justin Tkatchenko, Minister for Foreign Affairs 🇵🇬

Rainbo Paita, Minister for Finance and National Planning 🇵🇬

Taies Sansan, Secretary for the Department of Personnel Management 🇵🇬

Gisuwat Siniwin, former Member of the National Parliament 🇵🇬

Premier Mark Brantley of Nevis

High Commissioner Moses Kouni Mose 🇸🇧

Jeremiah Manele, Minister of Foreign Affairs and External Trade 🇸🇧

♔ ┆ Foreign Heads of States + Governments

President Andrzej Duda & First Lady Agata Kornhauser-Duda 🇵🇱

President Petr Pavel and First Lady Eva Pavlová 🇨🇿

President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. and First Lady Louise Araneta-Marcos 🇵🇭

President Katalin Novák & First Gentleman István Attila Veres 🇭🇺

President Guðni Th. Jóhannesson and First Lady Eliza Reid 🇮🇸

President Michael D. Higgins & First Lady Sabina Higgins and Leo Varadkar, Taoiseach 🇮🇪

President Herzog & First Lady Michal Herzog 🇮🇱

President Egils Levits & First Lady Andra Levite 🇱🇻

President Ali Bongo Ondimba & First Lady Sylvia Bongo Ondimba 🇬🇦

President Mario Abdo Benítez & First Lady Silvana López Moreira 🇵🇾

O le Ao o le Malo Tuimalealiʻifano Vaʻaletoʻa Sualauvi II & Masiofo Faʻamausili Leinafo 🇼🇸

President Paul Kagame & First Lady Jeannette Kagame 🇷🇼

President Wavel Ramkalawan, & First Lady Linda Ramkalawan 🇸🇨

President George Vella & First Lady Miriam Vella 🇲🇹

President Julius Maada Bio & First Lady Fatima Bio 🇸🇱

Hakainde Hichilema & First Lady Mutinta Hichilema 🇿🇲

President Sergio Mattarella 🇮🇹

President Ranil Wickremesinghe 🇱🇰

President Halimah Yacob 🇸🇬

President Faure Gnassingbé 🇹🇬

President Muhammadu Buhari 🇳🇬

President Filipe Nyusi 🇲🇿

President Frank-Walter Steinmeier 🇩🇪

President Vahagn Khachaturyan 🇦🇱

President Alar Karis 🇪🇪

President Sauli Niinistö 🇫🇮

President Emmanuel Macron 🇫🇷

President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva 🇧🇷

President Alexander Van der Bellen 🇦🇹

President Vahagn Khachaturyan 🇦🇲

President Salome Zourabichvili 🇬🇪

President Katerina Sakellaropoulou 🇬🇷

President Abdul Latif Rashid 🇮🇶

President Vjosa Osmani 🇽🇰

President George Weah 🇱🇷

President Gitanas Nausėda 🇱🇹

President Mohamed Ould Ghazouani 🇲🇷

President Maia Sandu 🇲🇩

President Stevo Pendarovski 🇲🇰

President Lazarus McCarthy Chakwera 🇲🇼

President Ibrahim Mohamed Solih 🇲🇻

President William Ruto 🇰🇪

President Irfaan Ali 🇬🇾

President Wiliame Katonivere 🇫🇯

President Paul Biya 🇨🇲

President Nikos Christodoulides 🇨🇾

President Mohamed Bazoum 🇳🇪

President Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa 🇵🇹

President Klaus Iohannis 🇷🇴

President Macky Sall 🇸🇳

President Zuzana Čaputová 🇸🇰

President Nataša Pirc Musar 🇸🇮

President Võ Văn Thưởng 🇻🇳

Emmerson Mnangagwa 🇿🇼

Chairwoman of the Council of Ministers Borjana Krišto 🇧🇦

Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina 🇧🇩

Prime Minister Han Duck-soo 🇰🇷

Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif 🇵🇰

President Alain Berset of the Swiss Confederation & Muriel Zeender 🇨🇭

Prime Minister Galab Donev 🇧🇬

♔ ┆ Governmental Representatives

First Lady Jill Biden & Finnegan Biden and John Kerry, Special Presidential Envoy for Climate 🇺🇸

First Lady Olena Zelenska 🇺🇦

First Lady Verónica Alcocer 🇨🇴

Vice President Jagdeep Dhankar 🇮🇳

Vice President Fuat Oktay 🇹🇷

Vice President Tiémoko Meyliet Koné 🇨🇮

Vice President Han Zeng 🇨🇳

Vice President Mohammed B.S Jallow 🇬🇲

Sahiba Gafarova, Speaker of the National Assembly 🇦🇿

Christophe Mboso N'Kodia Pwanga, President of the National Assembly 🇨🇩

Arnoldo André, Minister of Foreign Affairs 🇨🇷

Naledi Pandor, Minister of International Relations and Cooperation 🇿🇦

Nabil Ammar, Minister of Foreign Affairs 🇹🇳

Narayan Prakash Saud, Minister of Foreign Affairs 🇳🇵

Gustavo Manrique, Foreign Minister 🇪🇨

Ahmed Attaf, Foreign Minister 🇩🇿

Frederick Shava, Foreign Minister & Mthuli Ncube, Finance Minister 🇿🇼

Cardinal Pietro Parolin, Cardinal Secretary of State 🇻🇦

Ambassador José Alberto Briz Gutiérrez 🇬🇹

♔ ┆ Representatives from International Organizations

Amina Jane Mohammed, Deputy Secretary General 🇺🇳

Ursula von der Leyen, President of EU Commission 🇪🇺

Charles Michel, EU Council President 🇪🇺

Roberta Metsola, President of the European Parliament 🇪🇺

[augustinajosefina]

A request

Please suggest books to me! Preferably in the glove kink/lesbian space atrocities, urban fantasy or dark academia genres but I'll happily try any SF/fantasy at least once.

So far I've read and loved:

Before 2023

The Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice/Sword/Mercy) - Ann Leckie

Jean le Flambeur (The Quantum Thief/The Fractal Prince/The Causal Angel) - Hannu Rajaniemi

The Windup Girl/The Water Knife - Paolo Bagicalupi

Memory of Water/The City of Woven Streets - Emmi Itäranta

2023

The Locked Tomb (Gideon/Harrow/Nona the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir

The Masquerade (Traitor/Monster/Tyrant Baru Cormorant) - Seth Dickinson

Teixcalaan series (A Memory Called Empire/A Desolation Called Peace) - Arkady Martine

Machineries of Empire (Ninefox Gambit/Raven Stratagem/Revenant Gun/Hexarchate Stories) - Yoon Ha Lee

The Murderbot Diaries (All Systems Red to System Collapse) - Martha Wells

The Broken Earth (The Fifth Season/The Obelisk Gate/The Stone Sky) - N. K. Jemisin

Klara And The Sun - Kazuo Ishiguro

Xuya universe (The Citadel of Weeping Pearls/The Tea Master and the Detective/Seven of Infinities plus short stories) - Aliette de Bodard

This is How You Lose the Time War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

The Goblin Emperor/The Witness for the Dead/Grief of Stones - Katherine Addison

Some Desperate Glory - Emily Tesh

2024

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - V. E. Schwab

The Craft Sequence (Three Parts Dead/Two Serpents Rise/Full Fathom Five/Last First Snow/Four Roads Cross/Ruin of Angels) - Max Gladstone

Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution - R. F. Kuang

Dead Country - Max Gladstone

Hands of the Emperor - Victoria Goddard

Read and liked:

The Moonday Letters - Emmi Itäranta

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke

Great Cities (The City We Became/The World We Make) - N. K. Jemisin

Autonomous - Annalee Newitz

Dead Djinn universe (A Master of Djinn/The Haunting of Tram Car 015/A Dead Djinn in Cairo/The Angel of Khan el-Khalili) - P. Djèlí Clark

Even Though I Knew the End - C. L. Polk

Station Eternity - Mur Lafferty

The Mythic Dream - Dominik Parisien & Navah Wolfe

Shades of Magic (A Darker Shade of Magic/A Gathering of Shadows/A Conjuring of Light/Fragile Threads of Power) - V. E. Schwab

The Luminous Dead - Caitlin Starling

Last Exit - Max Gladstone

The Stars Are Legion - Kameron Hurley

Ninth House/Hell Bent - Leigh Bardugo

Machine - Elizabeth Bear

Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield

She Is A Haunting - Trang Thanh Tran

Sisters of the Revolution - Jeff & Ann Vandermeer

Station Eleven - Emily St John Mandel

Nettle & Bone - T. Kingfisher

Monstrilio - Gerardo Samano Córdova

Was uncertain about:

Light From Uncommon Stars - Ryka Aoki

The Kaiju Preservation Society - John Scalzi

Paladin's Grace - T. Kingfisher

The House in the Cerulean Sea - TJ Klune

In the Vanishers Palace - Aliette de Bodard

Uprooted - Naomi Novik

What Moves The Dead - T. Kingfisher

All The Birds In The Sky - Charlie Jane Anders

And read and disliked:

To Be Taught, if Fortunate - Becky Chambers

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon

The Calculating Stars - Mary Robinette Kowal

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson

How High We Go in the Dark - Sequoia Nagamatsu

Shadow and Bone - Leigh Bardugo

The Passage - Justin Cronin

In Ascension - Martin MacInnes

(My pride insists I add that I have, in fact, read other books as well. Just to be clear.)

[noodyl-blasstal]

Hallmark Hate Club

Hey, hey you? Every considered what might happen if you lived in one of the small towns where every Christmas comes with endless big city professionals in search of romance? Ever thought about how you might feel if your friends were picked off one by one? Wanna read a silly festive fic about just that?

Look no further! Find Hallmark Hate Club here.

Need more convincing? Read chapter one below:

At its peak, the Hallmark Hate Club had thrived. Seven years in though? Membership was thin on the ground.

It was easy to set up back then, December in Rockport was characterised by the inability to move without stumbling into busy professionals from Neverwinter looking for lumberjacks and bakers to save them from burnout. It was understanding that people were peeved to find the streets littered with big city adults with big city jobs who didn’t understand small town charm. Taako, and Lup hated it. Passionately. Magnus and Sloane used to hate it too… December was already busy, what with trying to get last minute orders together; baking endless sugar cookies; brewing endless cups of cocoa for cold nosed ice skaters who were giggly and love drunk; and definitely absolutely positively not laundering any money. It sucked, it sucked hard.

Taako and Lup were the founding members, Magnus joined soon after, and Sloane was a shoo in when she explained to Taako that she’d need to set up a regular cookie order with him because of the amount of lawyers who had suddenly started hanging around her cocoa stand (which definitely wasn’t a front for anything illegal, she just didn’t want a load of lawyers in her hair all the time - that was perfectly reasonable) relentlessly ordering things.

They’d had fifteen in their heyday and it was great, they supported each other whenever someone from the business factory skidded adorkably on their floors, or when they had to refuse to take anyone from out of town anywhere near an ice rink. It worked too. They watched horror movies and ate anti-romance snacks (Taako developed a whole menu), and bitched about how gullible everyone else was. And then it happened.

Or, more specifically, Julia happened.

They didn’t notice at first, they never did. That was a pattern. He mentioned someone he’d met at work, someone who’d come to his ancestral christmas tree farm who wasn’t like the other city slickers. She was interested in wood composition because of her research, she had career aspirations and loved her job and wasn’t stressed at all. They thought he was safe. He wasn’t. Magnus mentioned that it was refreshing to have someone come through town who wasn’t aggressively looking for romance. She’d told him that she didn’t buy into all that nonsense. They’d all found it refreshing too. Until it wasn’t. Until he started missing Hate Club nights. Until he told them she was different in a new way, in a lovesick way, in exactly the way they were all used to hearing from the people who got got. And sure, Julia had moved here but kept her job, she went back on research projects but largely worked from home. And sure, Taako liked her, thought she was great in fact. But none of that changed anything. None of that altered the fact that Magnus betrayed them.

Sloane went last year.

Lup said she didn’t blame her, that it could happen to anyone, but Taako wasn’t convinced. He’d seen the beginnings of it. She could have avoided it. Sloane handed over a cocoa to one of the many interchangeable lawyers circling her stand, he turned too fast - enraptured by the sound of jingle bells on one of the sleigh rides shooting about town and making the roads dangerous (no one knew where the fuck the things came from. He’d brought it up at town meetings and there were no permits, no permissions, and no one recognised the drivers, but the ‘Garfield’s showed up every year to clog up the roads and leave horse shit everywhere.) The cocoa spilled all over Hurley. A complete stranger. Someone Sloane had absolutely no need to concern herself with. Instead, she offered her a towel. That was it.

Taako thought it was done once Hurley mentioned that she was chief of police in Goldcliff. Double done once she started talking about feeling burnt out. Taako tried valiantly to derail things while he finished delivering and racking the cookies for Sloane each day and she ignored him. Just like Magnus had ignored him. Sloane started to just be around less, and less, and less again, until they realised that she hadn’t come to a meeting in six weeks. Then they knew. They got married in Spring. Taako made the cake. It had ten layers. It was fucking delicious.

And now, so what if there were only three of them left? So what if Johnann hadn’t been to a meeting in weeks? It probably didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean he’d been got.

Lup sighs heavily and leans against him. "It got Johann." She turns her phone to Taako.

“Wait, what? Avi’s famous? Avi’s famous famous??? Fuck. How did we not notice?”

“It says here that he specifically didn’t tell anyone because he wanted to stay “low key” while he was in town.” Lup points to the line in the article.

Taako’s wants desperately to bite something. Hard. “Uh huh.”

“But then he saw Johann playing at the coffee shop open mic.”

“Of course he did.”

“And now they’re married and living in his penthouse apartment and Johann’s got a sell out world tour booked in.”

“It’s only been two weeks!”

Lup shrugs. “You know how it goes.”

“He didn’t even invite us to the wedding!”

“It says here they kept it small.” Lup points to the caption underneath a photo of Johann and Avi on a beach looking disgustingly happy.

“Sometimes I think this place is cursed.”

“I think they enjoy it, Taako. They seem happy.”

“Well Taako certainly doesn’t, and neither do you, right?”

“Right.” Says Lup. “It’s gross.”

Taako puts his serious face on. “This year we need to be extra careful, LuLu. We’re the only ones left.”

“Of course, we’ll be on top of it. We know the signs. No one’s coming for the Tacco twins.”

“Hey now, that’s not fair, Taako’s excellent with his ha…”

“No! Gross! Bad! You will not finish that sentence.” Lup nudges Taako hard with her elbow.

Taako snorts out a laugh and shoves her sideways. “Not getting got pact?” He offers out a crooked little finger for the traditional deal.

“Not getting got.” Lup sits up and hooks her finger round his.

“One! Two! Three! No romance!"

--

Chapter 2 here.

[incorrect-zone-quotes]

Best TAZ Balance NPC poll

After a little messing around, I've decided to conduct a very scientific poll.

This will include every TAZ Balance NPC that I remember/care about so I apologize deeply if your favorite NPC isn't on here but there's 60 total so I feel that's pretty comprehensive.

Matchups under the read more (These have been randomized so I'm sorry for any tough choices)

Artemis Sterling vs Hurley

Kravitz vs Klarg

Angus McDonald vs Robbie

Graham the Juicy Wizard vs Mr. Upsy

Johann vs Davenport

Roswell vs Dracula

Antonia vs Rowan

Lucas Miller vs Hodge Podge

Hekuba Roughridge vs Cassidy

Steven vs Brad Bradson

Greg Grimaldis vs Jenkins

Trent the Treant vs Little Jerry and Jerreeeeee

Cam vs Paloma

Voidfish vs Garyl

Barry Bluejeans vs Istus

Gundren Rockseeker vs Lucretia

Maarvey vs Sloane

Joaquin Terrero vs Edward

Mookie vs Lup

Ash vs Jeff Angel

Lydia vs Avi

Ren Mol'diira vs The Raven Queen

Clint McElroy (the Plane Walker) vs Boyland

June vs Pan

Brody vs Magic Brian

Garfield the Deals Warlock vs John

Leon the Artificer vs Carey Fangbattle

Mavis vs Killian

Maureen Miller vs Julia Burnsides

Jess the Beheader vs NO-3113

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

TAZ balance theme park au :O?? -ise

okay I had to twirl this around my noggin for a bit but! i believe I've figured it out

the premise: six flags over goldcliffe runs one hell of a business over the summer

1. Julia is a ride operator for like, a fairly intense rollercoaster. she thinks it's fun, her coworker Hurley lets her do the ride announcements. it's pretty cool

2. Hurley points out that there's been this one guy methodically testing out every seat of each car of the rollercoaster. it's kinda weird but she kinda hopes he might hurl or maybe he's going for a world record or something

3. Julia asks if he is, in fact, going for a world record or something

4. coaster guy says he isn't but that would be so cool. no actually he's trying to find the least intense car because he's bringing some friends to the park tomorrow and really wants them to ride this ride but they're uhmmmmm kinda weenies

5. Julia respects the commitment, also says the third one from the back would probably be the best bet

6. also Merle works as one of the costumed actors. this has no bearing on the above, I just thought you should know