#Izzy made his points
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Izzy's death is fucking sad and so meaningful to me at the same time. we won't see him take care oh his guys or of him self anymore yes, but that doesn't mean his death is meaningless : he gets proper closure with Blackbeard, his last words are him voicing out the peace he gained during this season, he goes away proving what he did before was wrong, embracing the love and support of the community he finally treated well and took care of rather than try to end.
Izzy was a living nightmare and lived beautifully. I am sad to see him gone and I will never regret knowing him or having to say goodbye.
#I watched the ep a second time now and feel better about his death#I got spoiled and as always during this season everything goes so fast I need to watch each ep 2 or 3 times before making my mind on it#Izzy's death felt “lost” in the flow on my first watching#On my second watching I got to live it more freely#And I think it'll be even better on my 3 round#The anger I have is only for the British twattie prince of balls#Izzy made his points#He had lots left to make#But that's what so beautiful and tragic about death#The loved ones keep haunting the narrative even after they are gone#And Izzy rests right in front of gentlebeard's inn#If that's not haunting the narrative being there after you're gone?#Then I don't know anything#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#Izzy hands
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wait hang on 😭😭 are people seriously debating “he’s a complicated man” right now??
i agree that izzy’s an unreliable narrator, and i think that some of the things he’s said about ed aren’t necessarily true, much as many other things he’s said are also not necessarily true. he’s not really aware of the full picture the whole time, poor duck, as much as i adore him.
but like… besides the fact it really doesn’t have anything to do with wether or not you think izzy’s doing complex evil shit to ed on purpose, and people seem to be making it about that…
ed is VERY MUCH a complicated man. as someone who relates to ed probably more than stede or izzy… he’s absolutely a complicated man. ed can be violent, and suicidal, and he clearly experiences some form of emotional dysregulation, and he’s done things to people that weren’t justified. the crew was traumatised by ed’s behaviour and how much violence he placed them in a position to commit.
the way ed responds to rejection is so violent and out of proportion, his consecutive raids, his suicidal antagonism towards the crew… and for me and my personal issues, that’s extremely relatable… but it is NOT mentally well behaviour.
ed also exhibits patterns of disordered alcohol use, and his anger often causes him to lash out (yes, often at izzy who pushes his buttons, and yes, izzy’s behaviour is a factor in this. but it’s also worth noting ed has agency as a character and his violence is still violence, provoked or not) and one of his most integral traumas is how an act of violence saved him from the violent alcoholic who was his father.
there’s nothing about ed that’s not a complicated man. he’s done bad things that weren’t justified. that doesn’t make him a bad man. it makes him a complicated one. it’s very clear he knows how to be a better person. and that he can be. that the show left out a lot of that journey is really disappointing, but ed feels like he’s a monster and he does bad things to become the villain he thinks he deserves to be treated as, you know?
he is SUCH a complicated man. that doesn’t mean he’s irredeemable or bad, it doesn’t mean there’s a moral obligation to dislike him either. none of that’s the case. but izzy got it right when he called ed complicated. i think in some ways izzy had finally realised that he wasn’t always going to understand ed because ed wasn’t always going to think the way he did, but he was coming to accept that he didn’t need ed to be someone he could understand as long as ed was happy? does that make sense? i know that’s a sappy outlook on a canonically toxic relationship but i just cannot believe that there’s a genuinely widely accepted take going around which boils down to people thinking it’s wrong to call ed a complicated man. like, huh???? girl….
#izzy hands#ofmd critical#i mean the thing is that often when people point out how ed has moral complexities he’s done bad stuff#that he wasn��t necessarily justified for but he’s ultimately a sympathetic character#who can be a much better man than his father made him feel like he could#they’re often criticised for that#and particularly for the use of the word “violent” given ed is a man of colour#even though ed does do violent things onscreen#but the people who believe racism is holding ed accountable for his own actions#and suggesting he has agency outside of responding to izzy or being infatuated with stede#start to say it’s wrong to call ed a complicated man… dude.#WRONG TO CALL HIM C O M P L I C A T E D#i’m just saying 💀💀#how are more people not deciding that THAT is racism actually#why are we dehumanising ed by insisting he doesn’t have complexity and hasn’t done bad things ever#like guys. why the fuck are we doing that???
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modern au where ed + jack have spent the last several decades buying izzy the absolute DUMBEST shirts for every occasion- its a competition between them at this point- whoever gets izzy the shirt that makes him groan louder wins. izzy complains about this ridiculous tradition but he secretly loves it, has kept every single shirt, and often even sleeps in them (he will kill anyone who ever finds out)
#i got an ad for one of those super specific shirts and it made me think of this#im just shitposting at this point but its real funny to me#ed tend to favour ultra specific shirts these days while jack tries to find ones with completely absurd or dirty things on them#they know izzy has kept them all (tucked at the back of his closet) because they literally wont let him throw them away but they have no#idea he actually wears them#one of them is gonna find out one day and its gonna be a whole Thing#(im not a writer though so just imagine that scenario for yourself)#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#Israel hands#calico jack#jack rackham#edward teach#jackedhands#i left it vague but my ideal end to this is some kind of relationship kfhejn#uh. i actually have a couple images so i might rb + add to this in a sec. tags will be included. u know the drill
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[post that directly states/implies that izzy saying ‘a shark did this’ was him admitting that he is responsible for everything ed did to him and thats part of his character growth]
good fucking lord
#i think there’s more nuanced takes that could be made#i think this is probably not the intended point of that scene#but at this point i dont trust the narrativs#to be able to handle nuance wrt trauma and abusive situations#which is like. its a comedy#idk#but victim blaming is not a good look#did izzy trigger ed??? yes#is he RESPONSIBLE for ed SHOOTING him??????#what??????#no?????#like im not a fan of lucius calling out the fictionalization of his trauma but not the self-blame#and the narrative reenforcing that he Deserved it. no one does#ed didnt deserve it when izzy said fucked up bad things to him#izzy didnt deserve being fed his toes#or shot#god. is this really like. not obvious. fuck!#ofmd s2#izzy hands#ed teach
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#thinking about Izzy Hands is making me feral about the position of first mate#it's such an interesting position because it's in such a weird liminal position#the strongest connection point between the captain and the crew when it comes to communication and management#I think what made Izzy's arc this season so surprising#while still hitting practically all the strongest fandom plot points that were generally used and speculated about with him#is that previously to s2 we only saw and mostly only imagined one half of that transitive position#we saw Izzy as first mate in service to his captain#but there's a whole other side to the job#which is service to the crew#and through context we were actually told that Izzy has got to embody that as well to at least some degree#because for all his missteps and questionable actions he's been Blackbeard's first mate for years#and also in spite of all of his aggressive actions towards the Revenge crew we see him just hanging out around them even in s1#and fandom just never really paid attention to that (completely understandable because he really is an asshole to everyone)#but I love how s2 leans so heavily into the 'people' aspect of people management#which is what Izzy's job is#and this kind of being twice beholden to something#no wonder he is the way he is#he's been ground up in that space of tension for decades#no wonder he longs to belong somewhere so deeply#his job is literally 'middle man who needs to play both sides'#what a fantastic position for a character#ofmd#ofmd spoilers#Izzy hands
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izzy says on his deathbed that he spent years pushing ed to be blackbeard despite knowing ed had outgrown blackbeard. i guess technically we don’t know what those past years looked like, but we know from s1 that he was willing to go to very emotionally violent (and physically violent, if we count izzy’s actions towards ed’s boyfriend) lengths to control ed’s behavior—and it is ed’s behavior he tries to control, bc even in e10 when ed says “i am still blackbeard” that’s not good enough for him. izzy demanded that ed behave according to izzy’s standards and he was willing to call the cops on ed’s boyfriend to make that happen. maybe the years izzy is referring to in his apology werent as extreme as his actions in s1, but izzy’s apology confirms that izzy’s actions in s1 were canonically part of a years-long pattern of trying to control ed’s behavior into behaving in a way that he knew made ed unhappy, even if he didn’t understand the extent to which being blackbeard was harmful to ed’s mental health.
so idk. if years of izzy enforcing ed’s behavior in a way that made ed miserable doesn’t qualify as emotional abuse, i don’t know what does. this isn’t really a headcanon as much as it’s just… what izzy literally admitted to on his deathbed. that’s the whole thing he was apologizing for.
“Izzy emotionally abused Ed into being Blackbeard for years”
My sibling in Calypso, that is your headcanon. That is not information we were given in the show. It’s fine to have headcanons but please don’t act like other people are wrong for having different headcanons for periods of time that we did not see in the show.
#txt#mine#rb#izzy hands#the izcourse#s2e08#meta#there are other threads on this post elaborating on all the evidence of izzy’s abuse in the show#and they are very good threads#but idk like the original point that u made abt this being a headcanon bc we don’t know what happened before the show…#we DO know. izzy admitted it on his deathbed. he controlled ed’s behavior and pushed him to behave in ways ed hated#izzy Says This On His Literal Actual Deathbed#and if there’s any time when a story is telling you “what this character is saying is true”#it’s gonna be on that character’s death bed lmao#like there is no narrative reason izzy ed be lying here. in no way does that add to the story or support the themes or anything#there is no reason to doubt izzy when he says he has been doing this to ed. For Years.
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i procrastinated on this for months and it didn't even take that long to finish lol things got very bad at work this year and i just didn't have the energy but i'm really happy with how it turned out!
(edit: thank you so much to everyone enjoying this piece! i'm so happy there are more people thinking about his prosthetic leg.)
some of my favourite details and long self-indulgent ramble below the cut.
as much as i love the unicorn leg in the show i really wish they gave izzy an actual post-amputation swordfight scene, which probably would imply a more practical prosthesis because honestly that candle scene looks very painful and pretty difficult to adapt in combat. so basically i wanted him to have a prosthesis that could work.
for the poses i mostly just took basic right-handed cavalry sabre movements that would need lots of force and/or mobility from the left leg (actually all of them do otherwise he'd lose stability which is a big no but well i did not consider the basic steps or special ones such as the palestra because they're not very clear to draw. i included a flèche though because i just really, really want to see him do flèches (no more modern competition rules aha!!); i doubt he'd like it since it's very risky but it would be so fucking awesome. imagine him just darting full-speed at the opponent and passing through them sliding the sabre right between their ribs. the sabre isn't a pointy weapon especially since his is quite curved which makes precise piercing trickier (it would be a lot easier with a rapier or an épée; i like to imagine that stede prefers the rapier and makes every opponent who believes rapiers aren't fit for combat reconsider it) but hell that would just look amazing. although looking at it again i probably drew it more like a pass forward …). now thinking about it i should have included a salute because he'd absolutely do that and make everyone do it in unison at the start of training sessions and it's just a cool series of gestures (i haven't gone through the historical documents yet but the salute our historic fencing club do consists of two appels (striking the ground with the forward foot which in izzy's case is the right foot), then raising the sword to the sky, then pulling the guard of the sword near the jaw with the tip pointing upwards, then pointing the sword down forward, usually a bit to the exterior for single-handed swords, and i think that's the french navy's salute if i remember correctly). also i feel like the dagger doesn't really look right ever since i saw the daggers and little swords at the exhibition about knights in nantes … anyway.
the prosthesis is loosely based on those 16th-century moveable leg prostheses by ambroise paré (on a side note, he made hand prostheses too and i think it's a good reference for spanish jackie's hand), douglas bly's above-knee prosthesis in the 19th century and modern running prosthetic legs (for the need of explosive force typically in lunges) as well as historic fencing and buhurt (full-armour medieval combat) gears. although i'm horrible at physics and have forgotten what little ergonomics i learned at university so it probably won't work in reality lol.
the text is in french simply because i learned fencing in french and didn't want to make mistakes in the vocabulary. the small words from left to right top to bottom are: motion (movement?), knee (front), knee (back), ankle & foot, locked, flèche (as in fencing; the word itself means “arrow”), unlocked (middle french spelling because i like it), lunge, en garde position in tierce (i somehow can't find any fixed way to say this in english; it's just the basic stance with the third hand position). the text on the left is probably quite awkward honestly but i can't not put it there because it's fun lol it reads “leg and foot prosthesis designed for first mate hands, by doctor roach with the assistance of frenchie, realised (built? made? constructed? manufactured?) by black pete and wee john feeney and the entirety of the crew of the revenge under co-captains stede bonnet and edward teach, illustrated by lucius spriggs”. so yes any mistake in there is theirs and not mine lmao (no). the font is very loosely based on my memory of jean jannon's regular and italic typefaces. i adore his italics; it's the prettiest, most delicate italics i've ever seen.
i still have other drawing ideas for ofmd but i'm also into a lot of other things now … i'll probably get to them a few months later.
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Man, there’s all these little beats in OFMD S2 1-3 where people keep EXPECTING Stede to be upset or horrified about Ed’s actions and then he’s just. Not. In a way that reminded me of how a lot of fanon kept softening Stede into someone who doesn’t swear and is horrified at Ed for setting those ships on fire when imo to my eyes he was horrified for Ed because Ed was still so clearly distressed about it.
- Zheng Yi Sao asks Stede how he’s doing now that he knows Ed did horrible things to his crew and there’s this beat and Stede just pivots to, oh yeah, sometimes Ed is troubled. Like it didn’t occur to him to be upset on the crew’s behalf he’s worried about Ed.
- Izzy keeps trying to spare Stede’s feelings and cover up Ed’s spiral, but Stede clocked what was going on with Ed immediately and wasn’t the least bit intimidated or bothered. The knives brought the room together. Of course Ed’s trying to burn the world down or die trying. Duh. And I genuinely don’t think the STUFF in the Revenge mattered even a fraction to Stede as much as the signs of Ed’s breakdown broke his heart. It’s just STUFF, who cares.
- Lucius had to SPECIFICALLY call out Stede for not being surprised or bothered by what happened to him. What Ed did. Stede has to almost consciously remind himself to express polite concern. He just doesn’t actually care, instinctively or automatically, about what happened to Lucius. Part of it is he blames himself more than Ed. Part of it is he just doesn’t care, Ed is the priority.
They’re little blink and you’ll miss it pauses in some cases. Micro-expressions. The absence of a reaction. But honestly, I will scream it to the end of time, Stede is not some nonviolent creampuff scared or upset by Ed’s evil ways. He wants to join Ed in the atrocities. The man ran away to become a pirate. He asked if Lucius was taking notes during a murderous raid.
Stede’s at least a little on some kind of whackadoodle pirate comedy neurodivergence spectrum to the point where he actually really actually struggles to empathize with people, even people he cares about!, if their feelings conflict with his hyperfixation (piracy) and the love of his life (Ed Teach). He’s always, ALWAYS going to pick Ed over Lucius or Izzy or his crew or even his own feelings, if the option is there. He will literally throw himself overboard to get to Ed’s side. No pause. No consideration of anyone else or even his own safety.
Stede sometimes seems to have to consciously remind himself things like, oh yeah, the crew, I need to see to them. Not because he’s heartless or doesn’t care, but because it takes a bit of conscious effort for him to see beyond the laser-focused spotlight of what and who he does care most about, he has to remind himself of social niceties and other people’s feelings (just see him running away in the first place!) when he gets an idea in his head. It’s as if he had to train himself to consciously care about some things other people care about and as a neurodivergent person myself, that felt very familiar in a comedically writ large sort of way. I’d even argue that’s where all his aristocratic social niceties come from. They were his guidebook for how to do things “right” in a world that otherwise made no sense to him outside his hyperfixations. He practiced being a person through the aristocratic training because it was all so foreign to him from the start, including caring, actually caring, about the needs of others. Not because he’s consciously evil or consciously a jerk. The instinct just isn’t there unless he practices at it until it becomes reflex to ask how others are doing, because on his own his brain just doesn’t really notice or care.
I just… hope the fandom notes and has as much FUN as I do noticing all the little moments where even people inside the story of OFMD expect Stede to act in a normal way and instead he remains unhinged, laser-focused on Ed.
Stede’s not just an Ed apologist, he truly doesn’t blame Ed for any of it. He blames only himself. He doesn’t always voice this but he really really only cares about anyone else including the crew as a DISTANT second and he has to consciously REMIND himself to do so. He is able to rally to take action, to care about their physical needs like safety during the rescue, but he still struggles, deeply struggles, to remember to show empathy in a non-performative way for anyone except his special person, Ed.
Stede’s not a creampuff, not a nice guy, not some emotionally or morally perfect angel. He has to consciously practice caring about literally anything else but what he wants to do and his special person. And to me that’s a thousand times more interesting than shoving him in a box labeled “the blond, pacifist do-gooder good guy” in their relationship.
#this rant requires gifs I don’t have but trust me those odd little beats are there#bless Rhys Darby for making Stede so very neurodivergent coded because it SHOWS#ofmd#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd meta#sometimes fandom flanderization makes characters so DULL compared to canon
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𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑, 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄 - 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐍
Jeonghan x fem!reader
in which Jeonghan screams trouble every time you look at him, you knew that from the start. Still, you let yourself fall for him, and now you regret it as you watch him kiss a different woman on the New Year's party you both attended. Thankfully, New Year means new chance, and Jeonghan will do anything to prove you how much he cares about you.
wc 2.5k
warnings SMUT, fwb, Jeonghan kissed another girl (not on the lips), they are drunk but it's not implied much, arguing, missionary, unprotected sex, pull-out method, hickeys/marks, hair pulling (his hair), oral (f. receiving), fingering, petnames, praise, lmk if I missed anything!
↪ izzy adds... okay, I know it's already the second day of 2025 but I wanted to write a new year's special for seventeen too and had no time until now. But!! It's here now!! Not proofread!
It takes you a moment before you can breathe again, the smell of alcohol around you making you dizzy. You’re not sure how much you had so far, but honestly, you are more worried about your friends, who are currently doing another round of shots. You frown only at the thought of the taste of vodka on your tongue.
“One more! One more! One more!” The chant makes your head hurt. You squeeze your eyes shut before looking around the room to find an escape. “Hey, are you okay?” The familiar voice makes you sigh, and you turn your head to face him. “Better than ever, so leave me alone.” He frowns when your breath reaches him, and he steps closer to help you stand up from the floor. At this point, someone will step on you. “Come with me, I’ll call you an Uber,” he offers, reaching his hand out to you. You push his hand away, though, scoffing at his sudden nice guy act. “I said I’m okay here,” you repeat, making him sigh. Before you can protest more, his arms wrap around you, and he lifts you up from the floor. “Let go of me, Han,” you protest, but he doesn’t care, letting you stand on your own feet only for him to hold your hand tightly so you wouldn’t run away.
“Happy?” You ask when you finally step outside, the cold air helping you calm down. “No. Drink this first,” Jeonghan says, handing you a water bottle. You don’t forget to glare at him as you take the bottle from him, but he pays it no attention. “Why are you so mad? I’m just trying to help you out.” His words echo in your ears, the anger in you building up the more he speaks. “Since you’ve made it so clear you have your own life, I’m just trying to live mine too.” — “You’d make it a lot easier for me if you didn’t keep bothering me.”
“What are you talking about?” He asks confusedly, running his fingers through his hair. “You think I’m that stupid?” Your voice gets louder as you face him again. He knows you want to look strong, and that’s why you’re yelling, but your eyes give you away. You look broken, like you’re about to cry. “I’ve never said that.”
You groan, irritated by him. “This is not about what you say, but what you do!” You burst out at him, opening your mouth again to yell at him when he only stares back at you confusedly. No words leave your mouth, though, and you’re turning around once more to run away from him. “Explain things further, and don’t just run away,” he grasps your wrist, turning you around again with one swift pull. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
You hate how innocent his eyes look. If you hadn’t seen him yourself, you might have even believed him that he never did anything wrong. But you were there, still sober, when it happened: his arms on another woman, his lips on her neck, and her fingers in his hair. You had enough of his bullshit. You weren’t exclusive, so you shouldn’t be feeling like this about seeing him with another woman, but you just couldn’t help it. If he wanted to fuck around, he shouldn’t have ever made you believe he felt something more towards you.
“Don’t act like you don’t know anything,” you hiss at him, your fingernails digging into your palm to focus your pain onto something else. You don’t want to break down in front of him, but the more you gaze into his eyes, the more you doubt how much longer you can hold your emotions bottled up.
“But I don’t!” He argues. “What did I do?” He sounds desperate, and you hate that part of you believes him. “Then ask the blond you seemed to be so close to before! I bet she knows!” You yell into his face, trying to get out of his grip. Jeonghan falls silent, unable to say anything in his defense. He doesn’t let go of you, though. He can’t. Your name leaves his lips, and it feels like a knife being ripped out of your chest.
“No,” you stop him before he can say anything, still trying to shake him off of you. “I don’t want to hear any of your ‘You’re all I care about’ bullshit. You’ve proven I shouldn’t believe a word that comes out of your stupid mouth.”
His eyes fall, and you watch him bite his bottom lip as he rethinks what he should say. When his eyes meet yours again, you think you’re about to cry. “It’s not how you think it is,” he proclaims, and his lame excuse makes you scoff. “Yeah, because licking someone’s neck can be portrayed in so many ways,” you roll your eyes at him. “Let go of me. I’m done with this, Han.”
His grip only tightens. “It was a stupid dare Mingyu came up with. It didn’t mean anything. If you had been there, I would have licked your entire body.” You frown at his comment. “No, thanks. I’m done with this,” you repeat your words.
“You can’t–” he tries to talk you out of it, but you interrupt him before he gets the chance. “I can do whatever the fuck I want as far as I’m aware. And I’m sure you can find a different fuck buddy if you really can’t stay without sex for a while.”
“You know damn well we haven’t been about sex for some time now,” his voice is strong, sending a shiver down your spine as he pulls you closer to him, forcing you to look him in the eyes. “I don’t even know her name, baby. I don’t care about her or any other girl there. This whole time, I kept thinking about what you were doing and if you were okay.”
“I don’t believe you,” your voice sounds weak compared to his. You have to gulp down as you watch him, doubting your ability to resist him when he is this close to you.
It’s been half a year since you agreed on this little friends-with-benefits thing with him, and it was great until you started to develop feelings for him. You thought you could push them aside and live your life freely, but your plan fell apart when he started giving you hope, showing up in your apartment after work just to watch a movie with you, taking you out to dinners without any reason, and then, just a week ago, the L bomb that slipped past his lips on accident.
You thought that was finally your chance at happiness, but he just had to ruin it again tonight.
“I don’t want to go into the New Year with my heart on you when I don’t know what you’ll do when I turn around and don’t watch you for a bit.”
“That was a one-time mistake,” he argues, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I don’t want to go into the New Year without you.”
You hate him. You hate how he makes you feel, but most importantly, you hate how easily you forgive him.
“Let me make it up to you, prove that you’re the only woman I think about, the only one I am in love with.” Jeonghan had promised himself he wouldn’t ever tell you again unless he knew you felt the same way about him after the first time it managed to escape his lips, but now that he was so close to losing you, he didn’t care about his stupid resolution. He needed you to know he meant those words.
“I hate you,” you mumble, hitting him in the chest weakly. “I know, I’m the worst,” he nods, his thumb stroking your cheek. “But I want to be the best for you.” Whatever fight your brain and heart were fighting seconds ago stops, and you don’t care anymore what the right decision is. You need him, and you don’t care if he hurts you anymore.
Your lips crash with his, and he doesn’t hesitate to pull you closer. He finally lets go of your wrist and moves his hand on your waist, giving it a tight squeeze as he keeps you close to himself. “You better mean everything you said,” you warn him, pushing him to the wall behind him before you connect your lips again. He smirks, tugging your hair behind your ear so it won’t get in the way. “Swear on my family,” he mumbles, the taste of your lipstick driving him crazy. “Should we go home?” He offers, a groan escaping his lips when your hips crash with his. “Or should I take you right here?” His hand slides between your bodies, moving down to reach the bottom of your skirt. The grin on his face as his fingers find your clothed clit is insufferable.
“I’m going to bite your dick off,” you hiss, squirming away from him. You pull away when he doesn’t stop touching you, your finger in the middle of his chest as you glare at him. “What? You were just getting wet,” he smirks as he sees the blush creep up your face. “I swear I will kill you one day,” you promise him, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him off the wall. He stumbles for a second but finds his balance again and sends you a teasing wink before he walks towards the parking lot, already calling an Uber.
♡⸝⸝
The kisses you share when you walk into his apartment are heated, and the taste of everything you’ve drank tonight mixes with the liquor he had. His mouth moves to kiss your collarbone as he kicks the door of his room open, not bothered enough to close it again as he takes you to his bed, the same bed you’ve been a regular in for months now.
“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles, moving down to kiss your right breast through your top. Your breath shakes as your fingers tug at his hair, making him groan. He rolls your top up, and you help him remove it while he cups your boobs in both of his hands, his thumbs brushing over your nipples. “Only for you,” you moan out, rubbing your thighs together. “Only for me,” he repeats after you, smirking as he licks your right nipple while his left hand takes care of the other one.
“No one else.” — “No one else,” you agree, nodding as he sucks on your sensitive nipple. “God, Jeonghan,” you moan as his lips move lower, tracing wet kisses on your stomach until he reaches your skirt, slowly pulling it down as he kisses the hem of your panties. It’s embarrassing how wet you are just from that. He hums in response, hooking his fingers in your panties and pulling them down with ease. “What does my girl need?” He asks, his tongue sliding between your folds. The feeling of his tongue on your clit makes your head spin, and your fingers find his hair again. He sucks on your clit, his fingers teasing your needy entrance. “Jeong–” your voice breaks as he thrusts two of his fingers into you, and you pull on his hair.
It wasn’t the first time he had gone down on you like this, but each time, it caught you off guard just like the first time. The praises that leave his lips send a shiver down your spine as he continues making out with your cunt, and you finally know what he meant by making it up to you. He doesn’t budge as you pull on his hair, saying it’s too much for you. He knows not to listen to you at moments like these.
It’s not much longer that your thighs shake around his head, and you finish on his tongue. He smirks against your pussy, his nose pressed against your clit, letting you ride out your orgasm.
“Please, Hannie, please,” after your begs, it doesn’t take much longer for him to pull down his pants, his shirt still on. You tug on the material covering his upper body, and he smirks. “My baby wants to see more of me?” He teases, still rubbing slow circles on your clit. You nod, your eyes falling to his soaked fingers. God.
“Oh?” He taunts, dragging his fingers down to your clenching hole. “I haven’t even started yet,” he whispers, and had it been a different situation, you’d remind him not to get too egoist. But this time, you can’t say anything to him. It’s true. His cock wasn’t even close to touching you, and you had already finished once. It was only a matter of time before he’d take you to your second orgasm.
“Please,” you cry, and as he takes down his shirt, he positions his tip at your cunt. “Is this what you want?” You nod rapidly, reaching for his hand. He only pushes the tip in as he intertwines his fingers with yours, cooing sweet nothings into your ear.
He moans as you clench around him, his thrusts slowly becoming steady. Your vision blurs and all you can pay attention to are his moans that fill your ears. You could swear he had the prettiest moans you’ve ever heard.
The room is loud, your whines mixing with his as they fill up the otherwise quiet place. Each one of his thrusts hits the right spot, and you know that at this point, you’ll cum before he can even get close to his orgasm. “Don’t– ngh,” you grasp his hand when you see him moving it down to your already overstimulated bud of nerves again, stopping him. “‘S too much,” you whine, but it only causes him to smirk. “It’s alright,” he coos, pinning your hands behind your head with his left hand, followed by one harsh thrust of his hips, while his right-hand rubs circles on your clit despite your protests. “You can cum as many—fuck—times you want,” he says, his breathing growing heavy as his eyes watch his cock disappear in your hole.
His thrusts get harsher after that, and you’re confident you’ll have bruises on your ass in the morning from how his hips slam against you. He leans down to kiss you, swallowing your moans in his mouth as your lips connect. “‘M close,” you cry, and he nods. “Just a bit. I’m almost, god, there, too.”
There are marks all over your neck and shoulders when he pulls out of you, stroking his cock a few more times before he finishes on your stomach. There is a sense of emptiness you feel as his cock leaves you, but you stop thinking about it soon after when he kisses you again. This time, it’s less needy but full of love instead.
As he falls down next to you, you use up the moment and change your position, sitting on his stomach while he looks up at you. You smirk, leaning down to his collarbone and leaving a hickey there, too. He can’t be the only one marking what’s his.
✧˖°. izzy's tags @beomiracles @adel222 @liaatiny @bamgeutsz @cherrylovescheol ✧˖°. want to get notified? join taglist here!
#✧˖°. jakedustry ✧˖°.#✧˖°. jakedustry writes ✧˖°.#✧˖°. svt industry ✧˖°.#seventeen#svt#seventeen smut#seventeen jeonghan#jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#yoon jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan x you#yoon jeonghan smut#jeonghan smut#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x you#seventeen x you
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just saw someone say max lightwood's death was unnecessary, so much so that they said it was one of the things the show got right, not killing him.. as if he wasn't created to die. as if his death didn't serve as a gut-wrenching revelation of just how fucked up sebastian is and what he's willing to do to get what he wants. as if his death didn't make everything with sebastian personal for the younger lightwoods in a way it wouldn't have otherwise been, because he may not be their brother but he is their brother's murderer. as if his death didn't leave izzy in enough raw pain and guilt that the walls around her heart flickered and weakened. as if his death didn't heighten alec's fear of losing someone enough to make him insecure and vulnerable to camille. as if his death didn't snowball into maryse and robert's divorce and the growth they both gained from that, including, might i add, an increased appreciation and respect for their children.
was max's death sad? yes. was it made more so by his innocence and youth? absolutely. but that was the point. max's death is a crucial turning point in the series and to dismiss it as unnecessary does the series and characters (and author) a huge disservice.
#not to mention dampening your reading experience#ugh#max lightwood#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#tmi#the mortal instruments#sebastian morgenstern#isabelle lightwood#alec lightwood#robert lightwood#maryse lightwood
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i really liked my tags on this post so i wanted to touch them up and post them as a stand alone! i ended up adding quite a bit to this ''':)
What artistic skill does Izzy possess?
I think he has a lot of 'practical' artsy skills. he’s decent at sewing (mending your own clothes isn't just useful, it's almost a requirement at sea with limited possessions and resources) he's probably decent at braiding hair from having to splice rope- simply anything with roots in being useful I think he has done enough to be decent at by this point in his life.
Singing comes into this as well, holding a rhythm is important for certain sailing tasks, and while I think he can sing in ways that don't translate to shanties, I don't think he has utilised this in a long long time (so excited that we are apparently getting an Izzy singing scene in s2!!!! I need him to know he can have fun)
Another thing is I think he was a really good tattoo artist! I don't actually see him as having the creativity to come up with interesting and unique designs but I do think he is excellent at the act itself, and at copying requested designs. you need a swallow? an anchor? a ship? any common sailors tattoo? he can absolutely do it and it will probably be the best tattoo you have. it was always a mark of honour if you could convince him to do yours on the Queen Anne- he was very busy and didn't often do them, and definitely wouldn't do them if he didn't respect you. He's done a lot of Ed's 'quality' tattoos (though I think Ed also does a lot on himself), he's done tattoos for Fang, and Ivan, and he will do them for the rest of the kraken crew in the future. (he will even do one for Lucius one day, one of his own pieces of art as long as its not an Ed face or a dick. They understand each other now)
anything else? I don't know, I see him very much as, he won't let himself do things if they aren't practical. his canon whittling is as close as he gets and that's more of a 'thing to do with your hands while watching the deck' kind of thing. have knife will whittle
I think ultimately, Izzy doesn't let himself do things for himself. if you love something, if you have a soft spot, it can be targeted, taken away.
I do think he maybe dances though. He always plays it off as something Ed forces him to do when they're drunk/on shore but... he loves it- the motion; the reliance on another partner and the intimate understanding of exactly what they're gonna do next? I think he would love that actually.
I think dancing might be the one thing he always does for fun. He never lets himself have it, but if Ed demands a partner? Yes, of course, anything for his Captain.
(Ed always demands a partner. he likes dancing well enough but he likes seeing Izzy do it more- he knows Izzy will never do it on his own, he understands why, but Ed is Blackbeard. Nobody fucks with Blackbeard- and if he wants to dance? if he wants his first mate to dance? they're fucking dancing.)
but that's not the truth of the situation, really.
It always takes him a second to let his guard down, but he relaxes into it. He lets himself loose in a way Ed only sees when he's deep into the rhythm of a swordfight. And perhaps it's the same, to him- finding the flow of the battle, of the music. Feeling his partner, understanding them and being understood in return? It's all the same- but dancing is safe. Dancing is fun. In a swordfight there are stakes- and he loves the stakes, he loves that this thing that means everything to him matters, but sometimes, just sometimes, it really is nice to move like that in a way that doesn't matter.
And when they really get going- all twirls and jumps and frankly being a little ridiculous, Izzy laughs. A deep belly laugh, a kind of joy you didn't think was possible from him. But here he is, letting go at last. He laughs and he smiles and he feels such joy, the rest of the world melts away, and it is just him and his partner, dancing.
(later- much, much later, a man will play a battle song over their raids, a jaunty little tune that throws off everyone they fight against, and Izzy gets to dance, and fight, and feel free, unburdened by the weight that he's carried with him his whole life. They'll dance after too, and he will have finally found a place where he completely belongs)
(if you liked this, can I recommend Talking Bodies by ItsClydeBitches, i feel like that fic fits the themes of dancing incredibly well)
#I didnt want to clog up ops post but Izzy dancing is everything to me actually#I hadnt reread that fic in months but I did just now to make sure it was the one I was thinking of#and yeah I can definitely see its influence in this post#once again the autistic Izzy headcanons thread themselves through this post I cant help it its canon to me#I specifically think that the whittling could be a stim thing for him. hes had too many comments made about his hand movements#when he was younger and has learnt that 'doing something' is seen as far more acceptable. its repetitive and soothing and safe#also heres a fun little gift for my bellhands friends. I think Sam taught him how to dance. like proper dances.#and it was at the same time as he was learning to swordfight which is partly why theyre so similar for him#Ed and Jack came across them dancing in port; not long after they started talking to Izzy properly (hed known Sam a while by this point)#and like. Jack thinks its kinda funny but Ed? oh hes jealous. for the first time he Wants#Izzy and Sam are so close; and they have been for a while but this is Different. its one thing knowing that its Izzy&Sam and Ed&Jack#and its another thing to see them like this. its intimate and personal and for the first time Ed regrets not seeing izzy first#(this is heavily influenced by my personal pirate school headcanons jfgjfhnv)#makes a post to deal with out of hand tags; tags on that post get out of hand#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#izzy hands#israel hands#edizzy#blackhands#frenchie ofmd#references to him; anyway. i felt it fit to keep him vaguely defined but it is obviously him. my favourite lil guy#this should probably have been broken up into a couple of posts but NO take this behemoth#if youre curious the post is like 844 words long and with the tags its 1220 ish. i am so sorry#references to vague time periods pre canon and post canon idk put them whenever you want. when edizzy was happy. when they will be again#I cut the bit about weaving because it was just a silly little thing and didnt slot into this but know Izzy with a loom is everything to me#im also sorry the tone is all over the place this is half 'i thinks' and half like. semi narrative things? idk idk i have no sense of order#this is as good as it gets for me
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batfam members being the smartest and dumbest person in the room at the same time
Damian: Here's the plan: we wait for your mother to put the pie on the windowsill to cool. Then, I'll spoof a call to her work phone in order to draw her away. That's when you come in and take it. Are we clear?
Jon: *walks up to Lois*
Jon: Mom, can Damian and I have a piece of pie?
Lois: Of course, here you go.
———————
Cullen: I tripped over my shoelaces again.
Harper: I can make self-tying shoelaces that can only come apart when you use a password-protected app.
Cullen: ...I was just thinking of wearing velcro.
———————
Duke: Check out my project! Not to brag, but I think I know who's winning the science fair.
Izzy: What is it?
Duke: It's a chamber that excites nanoparticles to generate short-term high-intensity thermal energy that can alter organic matter to make them suitable for human consumption. What do you think?
Izzy: Funny, I have one at home. Only I call it a microwave.
———————
Dinah and Babs: *talking*
Dinah: One sec, I'm getting a call.
Dinah: *answers her phone*
Dinah, immediately hanging up: Never mind.
Barbara: Was your number leaked? I have a list of possible suspects and plans for dealing with each one.
Dinah: Relax, it was just spam.
———————
Bernard, with a mic: Welcome back to MasterChef: Young Justice. We're down to our finalists, Red Robin and Spoiler. Let's see what they brought us today.
Tim: I made a nutrient-dense mass-conserving meal replacement with all essential components compressed in a gelatinous cube for a quick, on-the-go meal during our off-world missions. I'm serving it with a protein shake served in a vacuum-sealed pouch made completely out of recycled materials.
Steph: I made authentic Belgian waffles using techniques dating back to the 1958 Brussels World Fair. I'm serving it with a warm Swiss chocolate ganache, Japanese white strawberries, and homemade ube powdered sugar. For a drink, we have a cappuccino made with fair-trade Colombian dark roast beans and milk sourced from local farmers.
Kon, Bart, and Cassie: *taste and discuss*
Kon: You're both eliminated.
Tim and Steph: What?!
Cassie: Red Robin, the point of this competition is to showcase taste and culinary artistry, not just your engineering skills.
Bart: And Spoiler, you were supposed to make soup.
———————
Cass: *sneaks out her room*
Cass: *rolls down the hall*
Cass: *jumps over the couch*
Cass: *crawls through the vents*
Cass: *climbs down the rafters*
Cass: *slides down a gas pipe into the Batcave*
Cass: *lands in front of the door*
———————
Dick: I'll infiltrate the Iceberg Lounge with my state-of-the-art wearable camouflage that uses reverse psychology to throw all suspicions off of me by catching people's attention in a completely different way.
Jason: Pfft, lame. You should check out my latest tech. It's a potassium nitrate–based mixture that can be activated with a built-in timer to both create a diversion and incapacitate more of the Penguin's cronies at once.
Dick: That's stupid. We need to be subtle.
Jason: No, what we need is efficiency.
Dick: Roy, what do you think?
Roy, looking up from his phone: I think one of you wants to dress in drag and the other made a bomb.
———————
Bruce: I need the kids to steer clear of Crime Alley tonight so I can deal with a situation but I don't want to bench them because then they'll be mad at me. Any ideas?
Alfred: Give them paperwork.
Selina: Send them on a wild goose chase.
Kate: Get them to bench themselves.
Renee: Wow.
Renee: You all suck.
#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#cullen row#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#harper row#kate kane#alfred pennyworth#selina kyle#bruce wayne#batman#super sons#young justice#teen titans#we are robin#birds of prey#batfam#batfamily#batboys#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics
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“Hey, Sperm Pet, pass me that block,” SAM MONROE said casually, too casually, as if he's used to it (and as if it was normal) before leaning back against the couch while Vinnie wobbled through the living room.
The boy let out a loud squeal of laughter, little hands swinging as he trips over his own feet to grab the block. He then turns to Sam, lifting his little hand that clunched the plastic green block he just asked for in the most disturbing-affectionate way. Pinky lips curling into this proud, small smile, like he just did the most important job for sam
Sam's grins the way a proud father would at their kid, arms going down to scoop up him toddler “Thanks, buddy" his hand accepting the block "See? Best sperm pet ever. Knew you’d come in handy someday.”
“Sam!” his mom’s voice causing him flinch instantly
“What?” he asks, glancing over at her as she stands in the doorway with her arms crossed, glaring at him.
“You cannot call your son that,” she scolds, voice stern. “That’s disgusting!”
Sam rolls his eyes, bouncing Vinnie on his knee. “He doesn’t even know what it means,” he retorts. “Look at him, he’s laughing his little ass off.”
Vinnie giggles, his chubby hands grabbing at Sam’s hoodie as he babbles incoherently, completely oblivious to anything happening around
“It’s not about him knowing,” she snaps, pointing a finger at Sam. “It’s about you being a responsible parent. He’s going to start repeating everything you say soon!”
Finger lifting to poke the boy's cheek “By the time he’s old enough to get it, he’ll think it’s hilarious.”
“Samuel Monroe"
The way his name - full name - left her mouth made Sam feel like she'll definitely tell his dad about this “Fine, fine,” Sam mutters, eyes rolling “No more sperm pet. Happy?”
As soon as his mother is out of view, Sam leans down to whisper in Vinnie’s ear. “Don’t worry, buddy. We’ll keep it as our little secret, huh?” Vinnie squeals again, cheeks flushing as Sam began tickling his sides
TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @rssmary @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @
#sam monroe x y/n#sam monroe x you#sam monroe fanfiction#sam monroe x reader#sam monroe#life as a house#hayden christensen#:haydennation#hayden christensen baby#hayden christensen fanfiction#christensen hayden#hayden please#haydenchristensen#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen x you#hayden christensen x female reader
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SO IT GOES - chapter 5
Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, sexual themes and language, drinking, not my best work lol Wordcount: 6.6K A/C: so have we come up with a shipname for zari and paige yet?? anyways ty all for the support and sooo much love on the last part - especially those who remained patient for a new part! i've got a LOT of stuff going on rn so please be understanding if parts take a little longer to come out! i wanna write badly but i gotta prioritise real life unless y'all wanna start paying me lol anyways, this should be a rewarding chapter to some of y'all!! anyways go read!!
-
Before London
“The skirt,” my childhood friend Olivia’s voice filters through the speaker, my phone set up on my bed as I try on different outfits for the evening on facetime.
I stare into my reflection, the black miniskirt not leaving much to imagination, my legs fully on display. I sigh, unsure whether it would be too much for the night.
“I don’t know Liv, the dress is a little less revealing though,” I complain, turning around and seeing the way the tight skirt hugs my curves.
“Exactly why you should wear the skirt instead.”
I laugh, shaking my head at her face on my phone screen. “I’m not going there to shag someone. It’s going to be mostly the team anyway.”
“Izzie, you are single now. Act like it. Have you even hooked up with anyone since…?”
I scoff. “Do you think I have time for anything like that?”
“Maybe if you schedule it in…” Olivia jokes, making my mouth fall open feeling offended.
“Hey! I’m perfectly happy being single right now. Love is the last thing I should be thinking about.”
“Well, I still think you should wear the skirt,” the girl answers, making me groan.
“Fine, okay gotta go. I’ll text you!” I wave bye, before hanging up, realising my ride must have arrived. One more glance in the mirror and I decide it will do - the black mini skirt and a matching black cowl neck top, the back draped low to reveal the smooth skin of my back along my spine. The outfit was simple yet sexy, the stacked chunky golden jewelry dressing the look up. I’ve pinned my hair up in a bun, curls falling out as if by accident - in reality the hairdo had taken over 45 minutes to accomplish.
“Good enough,” I murmur to myself, putting on my boots and quickly hurrying out the door. Just like we had agreed, Trey is waiting in an Uber, waving me over. He had sent me a message earlier asking if we could ride together. Of course I had said yes out of politeness. Though if I’m honest, I always felt a little uneasy around him.
“Hey!” I smile politely climbing into the backseat with a potted orchid in my hands.
Trey meets my smile with an even wider one, eyeing me up and down as I buckle my seatbelt.
“Housewarming present?” He asks, pointing to the potted flower. I shrug and nod.
“I didn’t really know what to get them,” I admit, crossing my legs and eyeing the purple and white flower.
“Lala’s gonna love that,” Trey nods, his eyes still locked on me and my outfit. “You look…” he goes silent, and from my peripheral vision I see the man shaking his head. “Really good.”
“Oh, thanks,” I mumble, brushing it off lightheartedly as I grab my phone which is frantically buzzing.
Paige When are u coming? I’m already here and idk anyone Oh nvm Lou and Chris are here So… when u coming???
I feel my stomach doing flips as I read the texts, my mind still swirling with how she’d made me breakfast just earlier this morning. How my couch still smells just like her even hours later. I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something comforting about her presence. The way she worked to make me laugh, to get me to relax. Like she wanted to take care of me.
Just left so I should be there soon x
Izzie Iz Help We’re drinking wine
Time to be a big girl and learn Paige
But I don’t wanna 🙁 Fine Bc you said so
Good girl
Freaky 😏
Paige
Sorry I pregamed
Of course you did I’ll be there soon x
Giggling at my phone, I place it on my lap, not wanting to be rude towards the man sitting next to me. Trey’s eyes are locked on me, and I can feel myself growing uneasy, especially when I realise I have nothing to talk to him about other than work.
”You excited for tonight?” He asks.
”Yeah, it’s going to be nice to see everyone out of work,” I answer, keeping my composure despite feeling awkward, begging he doesn’t pick up on it. I had become quite good at that (or Trey was more ignorant than I realised).
”Oh yeah, you haven’t really had the chance to do that yet huh?” He asks, his deep voice gravelly.
“Not really no.”
“Well, if you ever get lonely, you can always call me up Zari,” Trey says, reaching over and suddenly placing his hand on mine resting on my lap. I keep still as long as I can before pulling it away, pretending I just needed that specific hand to hold the pot in my lap now.
“Uh, yeah that’s really sweet of you. Thank you,” I chuckle awkwardly. “Paige lives right upstairs actually so I’ve been spending some time with her.”
Trey is taken aback, his brows rising. “Paige?”
“Yeah we’re friends,” I smile. Trey’s dark brown eyes keep watching me, clearly thinking about something till he shrugs and looks away.
The drive is quiet, full of awkward comments by the man clearly eager to make conversation. Normally I was better than this at the small talk that the Americans seemed to love so much - but not today. I could feel my stomach twisting with nerves and butterflies in anticipation for the evening. I wasn’t entirely sure why. But all I knew I was eager to see Paige - she had a way of grounding me.
We finally get to the building, awkwardly accompanying each other in the elevator much like my first day working for the Wings. I’m the one to ring the doorbell, Trey standing close behind me.
“Hey pretty girl!” Lala opens the door with a warm smile. “Oh hey Trey, come in come in!”
She steps aside, letting both of us in. The hallway is long and the ceilings are high, the space modern but filled with gorgeous furniture bringing warmth into the space.
“Wow, beautiful,” I gasp looking around.
“Issa work in process,” Lala laughs. I catch a glimpse into the open concept kitchen/living room, filled with people who had arrived on time unlike me and Trey (our Uber had taken a “shortcut”, which ended up taking 15 minutes longer than the normal drive.) I could tell alcohol was already flowing from the loud laughs echoing around the apartment.
“Oh, here you go!” I smile, handing Lala the orchid. “I wasn’t sure what you two wanted so I hope that’s okay.”
Lala gasps, admiring the plant. “No, this is gorg! And so are you, look at that skirt girl.”
I blush a little as she spins me around, admiring my outfit.
“Is it too short?” I ask but Lala looks at me with raised brows. It’s then I notice her skirt is just as short, if not shorter. “Nevermind!”
The woman laughs, wrapping an arm around my waist and bringing me further into the apartment. My eyes immediately land on Paige next to Arike, both taking up half of the couch as if partaking in the Olympics of manspreading. Their laughs rise above the chatter of the crowd, making them impossible to miss. Even if subconsciously I had been looking for the blonde the second I stepped in.
“Yeah… they’re already drunk, thought you should know,” Lala nods towards the two.
“I heard, Paige was texting me already.”
The woman turns to me grinning a little. “Of course she was.” I’m not exactly sure what it means but don’t get the opportunity to ask before I hear a loud screech interrupting the both of us.
“Izzie!!” Paige gasps, her voice soaring above the noise. She climbs off the couch, rushing to me through the crowd. To my surprise the blonde wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I can’t help the smile that spreads to my face. It comes naturally, when my arms wrap around her neck, pulling her in. Like since our first hug this morning, physical closeness felt easy. She smells like deodorant, sandalwood and a hint of alcohol. Breaking the hug, I eye her fit up and down - the olive cuban collar shirt and shorts in a matching pattern, two silver chains dangling on her neck, hair in a slicked back bun.
All while I’ve been admiring Paige’s outfit, her gaze has been roaming across my body, taking me in. I notice a hint of red burning on her cheeks when her blue eyes land on my skirt. Suddenly I have the strongest need for a drink. Our stares meet, and for a fleeting moment I think she’s about to say something. But before she can, Arike is pulling me into a friendly hug.
“So glad you came, Zari! Whatchu wanna drink?”
I feel flustered, barely hearing her. Clearing my throat, I finally answer, feeling the blonde’s eyes boring into me.
“White wine please?”
Lala laughs, shaking her head and grabbing my shoulders. “You’re gonna need something stronger to keep up with us baby.”
I laugh. “Okay, tequila soda then?”
“Attagirl, lime?”
“Yes please,” I nod, watching Lala and Arike head towards the kitchen island covered in bottles of booze and glasses, leaving me alone with Paige.
For the first time in weeks, there’s a sense of awkwardness between us, neither of us knowing what to say. I wanted to tell her she looks good, that the olive against her skin that had grown more tan in Dallas made her glow in a way I had never seen before. But something in my throat doesn’t allow the words to come out. Thankfully the booze in Paige’s system makes her miss the weird tension completely.
“You look,” she starts, stepping closer to me, arm brushing against mine. She shakes her head, looking me up and down which is enough to make my ears burn. “Never seen you look like this before.”
I tilt my head, meeting her blue eyes challengingly. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
To my enjoyment, this makes her flustered, her cheeks bright pink now.
“You know it is ma,” she grins.
“You and that bloody nickname,” I shake my head, rolling my eyes at the blonde, when Lala and Arike return to us with my drink.
“You guys wanna play beer pong?” Arike asks as I grab the glass from Lala.
“What is this, a frat house?” Paige laughs, making Lala groan.
“Trust, it wasn’t my choice.”
-
After a long debate between me, Izzie, Arike and Lala on who should be teaming up, we decided that the only fair combination was me with Lala, while Arike and Izzie played against us - the girls claiming it wouldn’t be right for the two hoopers to play beer pong against non-athletes. Honestly, I barely had listened to the conversation at all. Because the way Izzie looks tonight has me grasping the drink in my hand so tight my knuckles were beginning to turn white. My mind is travelling to the filthiest places at the thought of what is underneath the hemline of her skirt, her glowy legs making me weak in the knees. Even worse was the low, scooped back of her shirt, her spine’s movement visible as she walked around the room. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, I couldn’t even stop the trembling of my hands. I needed to get more drinks in me quickly.
It seemed like the dark haired girl had the same idea, downing her first tequila soda in a matter of minutes as we set up the game. The tension often visible on her face only to me was slowly beginning to melt away.
“We’re about to win aight?” I tell Lala next to me, which makes Izzie let out a loud scoff.
“You really think I’ll let you win Bueckers?” The dark haired girl asks, challenging me.
“Yo, who’s the athlete here,” I respond, an arrogant grin on my face but she won’t back down, catlike eyes staring me down at the opposite end of the table.
“You’re enormously underestimating my desire to win.”
“Oh yeah?”
Izzie nods. “Yes Paige.”
And she’s right. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol already flowing in my system, or the way Izara looks, her green eyes locked on me everytime I bounce the ball off the table but my aim is off. And somehow she keeps aiming perfectly, a sly grin and her sharp eyes glimmering as she makes me drink one cup of beer after another, after another until Lala is the one to call it off, admitting defeat gracefully.
Arike and Izara hug, celebrating their win, but I can’t even be mad - the way Izzie’s mouth is stretched into a wide smile, the way she was letting go off her disciplined, hard exterior as a result of the alcohol was such a joy to watch I could’ve soaked in it forever.
“I told you! I told you!” Iz laughs, coming over to me and getting up in my face. But all I’m doing is smirking, my hand snaking around her waist and pulling her close without thinking about it much. But she doesn’t pull away either, even when our fronts nearly press together, heat radiating between us. The party has turned loud, drunk people bumping into each other, yelling over the music, but all I see is the dark haired girl in front of me, and the blush on her cheeks.
“You were cheating Iz,” I tell her, heavy eyes gazing down at the girl.
“How?” She asks, stunned.
I shrug. “I dunno.” I did know. It was that damn outfit. It took every ounce of self-discipline I had not to drag her to the bathroom and pull that skirt up. How was I expected to aim while my thoughts were running out of control.
“Here you areeeee!” Satou’s voice interrupts the moment, making me stumble backwards and letting go of the girl in my arms realising how close I’d been to losing control and leaning down to kiss her.
Satou hugs both me and Iz, looking around for the couple of the hour who have suddenly disappeared. “Where the lovebirds at?” She asks, holding a wrapped present in her hands. I chuckle shrugging but Zari lets out a giggle.
“Last I saw them they were getting pretty cosy,” she laughs, leaning into my side whether on purpose or on accident I’m not sure. But it leaves my skin tingling.
“No one’s surprised,” Satou laughs, waving her friend over. “Savannah, this is Paige and… Izara, right?”
“She prefers Zari,” I correct before Iz can even say a word. From my peripheral vision I see her head snap to me, eyes growing softer as they land on me. I could tell she was happy with me, which made me want to get on my knees and beg for her to let me serve her forever. Okay, no, let me get a grip.
“Whassup,” I nod at Savannah, who smiles at both me and Izzie. Suddenly, the girl beside me stumbles as someone bumps into her, crashing straight into me.
“Woah,” I grab a hold of her, my hand naturally landing on the small of her back. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” she giggles, watching me and her nose scrunching as her face twists into a laugh. The sparkling eyeshadow covering her eyelids makes her shine even more, curled strands falling onto her face out of the updo her long, dark hair is in. She looks so beautiful I feel breathless, even more so up close.
“You want a drink ma? I could use one,” I ask, staring into the green of her eyes, feeling the alcohol too much to realise that our faces are only inches away at this point.
She rolls her eyes. “Paige, I hate that nickname.”
“Do you want a drink or not woman?” I ask annoyed, teasing her. But her face hardens, and her eyes sharpen.
“Excuse me?”
Her tone is hard and serious, making my lower abdomen flip. As inappropriate as it feels, I’m exceptionally turned on.
I swallow, biting my lower lip. “Uh…”
“Woman?” She interrupts me, furrowing her brows. I can feel heat pooling between my legs, making my mind spin.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, my voice coming out shaky from how flustered my thoughts had turned me.
“What’s that?” She asks, brows rising as she watches my mouth expectantly.
“I’m sorry Izzie,” I say louder, my chest heaving now. To my surprise, I notice her breathing is growing heavy too.
“Mhm, that’s better,” she nods, eyes still on my mouth as I bite down on my lower lip. And for just a second, as my eyes flicker from her eyes to her glossed lips, I consider leaning in and pressing a kiss on them, mind jumping to how she might taste. Like heaven I bet.
“So a drink then?” Iz asks, interrupting my spinning thoughts.
“Oh right, yeah,” I compose myself, “we’ll be right back.”
We leave Satou and Savannah alone, my hand on the small of Izara’s back guiding her through the people to the kitchen island.
“What do we want to drink?” The girl asks, looking at the row of bottles lining the counter. I lean in even closer to her side, letting my hand drag from her back to around her waist. The girl’s breath hitches audibly, yet she doesn’t pull back.
“Shots! Now!” Arike suddenly interrupts us, Lala following close behind her.
“Bro where you been?” I ask, watching as she begins to pour shots of vodka for all four of us. Her and Lala exchange a look that tells me I don’t want to know the answer to my question.
“Nevermind,” I mumble, making Izzie giggle, the alcohol finally loosening her up.
“No, I really shouldn’t,” the dark haired girl shakes her head, pushing the shot away.
“Oh c’mooonnn!!” I groan, pushing it back.
“Yeah Zari, c’mon,” Rike complains.
I pick up my own shot glass, and Izara’s as well, bringing it to her lips. She’s considering, meeting my gaze, until her pretty lips open and I tip the glass, pouring the shot into her mouth as I throw my head back, swallowing mine.
“Holy shit,” I cough, making everyone around me laugh, looking at the dark haired girl whose face doesn’t even twitch from the alcohol. Damn.
“And another oneeee,” Arike laughs, now pouring tequila into the glasses, clearly trying to get us two drunk. I glare at her, picking up on what she was up to. But Rike merely winks at me, handing us salt and lemon slices.
“Oh boy,” Izara chuckles, eyeing the alcohol. I follow closely as her tongue darts out to lick her wrist, my mind spinning with dirty thoughts involving that tongue between my le-
“Lemon!” The girl yelps, squeezing her eyes shut having taken the shot. I quickly grab the slice from the counter, holding Izzie’s face still by her chin as I place the wedge between her lips. Her teeth bite into it, sucking on the bitter fruit to get rid of the taste in her mouth.
Her dark lashes flutter open, and she pulls away with a grin. “Your turn.”
I scratch the back of my neck, feeling my tongue already growing numb from the alcohol, my speech certainly beginning to slur soon.
“Yo Zari, you should let Paige lick the salt from your wrist,” Arike yells from the opposite side of the counter, earning a slap on the shoulder from Lala.
“Huh?” Izara laughs, turning to the pair.
“Ignore her, God knows I do,” Lala rolls her eyes.
Flustered, I fumble with the salt shaker, licking it off my hand and downing the shot of tequila, feeling the burn in my throat making me want to cough. To my surprise, Iz brings the slice of lemon to my lips, the bitter taste putting an end to the burn.
I can feel the alcohol hitting, making my cheeks burn - or maybe it’s the way the dark haired girl is looking at me, her eyes even more catlike than normal, sparkling in the dimmed lighting. Either way I can feel my brain and mouth beginning to slow down, yet my words and actions seem simultaneously sped up, like I couldn’t think them through before doing.
“I’mma admit, I’m drunk as fuck,” I laugh, making Izara throw her head back and let out a bright chuckle, grabbing onto my shoulder as she does. Fuck she looks hotter than usual, the hard, poised exterior breaking, letting me catch little glimpses into her internal life, reminiscent of the softness on her face when she fell asleep on me.
“Let’s run away before Arike makes us take more shots,” she whispers and simultaneously somehow screams, grabbing my arm and dragging me down behind the island, as if Arike and Lala weren’t standing right on the other side, watching the two of us. Still I let her, crouching behind it and letting her drag me wherever she wants to.
-
I love Dallas! Or maybe I should reconsider when I’m sober, but now that the shots and drinks had been flowing, I had decided I loved Dallas for certain. Paige and I have been hiding behind a corner, by the entrance to Arike’s and Lala’s bedroom, for the past hour, giggling and talking. I’ve realised Paige might be one of my favourite people I’ve ever met, the strain in my abs a reminder of how easily she made me laugh. How effortless it was to spend time with her, like I didn’t have to put up any exterior or front. I felt comfortable being myself with her. So naturally, in my drunken state, the words slip from my lips easily.
“You’re like, my favourite person right now,” I giggle, leaning my back against the cool wall and watching upwards at her. Paige’s eyes are heavy and red as a result of the alcohol, hair somehow still neatly slicked back, however a button on her chest left unbuttoned, displaying that she definitely wasn’t wearing a bra under the shirt.
“Yeah?” Paige asks, a proud smirk on her face. She’s standing in front of me, arms crossed.
“Don’t let it get into your head darling,” I scoff, pushing her off by her abdomen, feeling the muscles there tighten when my fingertips graze her through the shirt. For whatever reason I’d been wanting her to touch me all night, enjoying the times she wrapped her arm around my waist, or guided me through a crowd. It felt good to be touched, so I didn’t worry about what it meant further. I just wanted her hands on me. Like you’d want to hug a friend after remembering how much you love them.
“Why do you get to have all these nicknames but I don’t get to call you ma?” She asks, stumbling back but returning to her prior position, if not a little closer. I place my hands on her waist, having to tilt my head to look at her - that’s how close she is.
“Why do you want to call me ma?”
“Because,” she groans, looking for something to say. “Ion know it suits you.”
“Why?” I laugh.
“Because you’re sexy.”
I’m drunk. And I know it’s because I’m drunk. It has to be. But I can feel myself begin to throb between my legs when Paige says those words, when her teeth bite onto her bottom lip, when she looks me up and down. Suddenly I’m painfully aware of the swirling in my lower abdomen, the heat spreading straight to my core.
The blonde rubs the bridge of her nose. “Ahh shit Iz, I didn’t mean it like that. My bad. You just look really damn good. In like a friend wa-”
“You think I look sexy?”
It’s like my mouth and brain aren’t working together, the words just forming and leaving my lips without a single thought or action to stop them. For some reason it comes out almost whiny. Like I want her opinion, her reassurance.
Paige looks surprised, clenching her jaw before kissing her teeth and licking her lips, hands twitching as if for something to touch.
“I meannn… you really gotta ask that?” She says hoarsely, stepping closer and placing her hands on my hips. It feels good, but I want more, pushing my body off the wall and pressing my front against her. The sparks are immediate, and I nearly groan at the contact.
“You didn’t answer,” I demand, staring into the blues of her eyes. Only then I realise how blue they really are, like a turquoise ocean against a sandy beach, inviting, beautiful. My heart begins to pound, even more so when I feel Paige’s hands move from my waist, downwards to my hips, to the small of my back, and finally to my ass.
“Perfect,” she coos.
The breath she lets out is heavy, loud, but I barely register, my mouth parting a little. To say the chills travelling through my body are overwhelming would be an understatement, my mind suddenly spinning with realisation of something I’d been feeling for a while, yet only recognised now.
“Is this okay?” Paige asks, making me nod my head. When I do so I feel the blonde’s hands squeeze just a little, forcing a breathy whimper to spill from my lips. Overcome with the urge to be even closer to her, I wrap my arms around the girl’s broad shoulders and lean my head into the crook of her neck, my body slotting against hers just right. It feels euphoric.
“Baby I would leave too if I was Paige, that poor girl got to deal with you on a daily basis alr-”
Suddenly Lala’s voice grows louder as she turns the corner, Arike on her tail.
“Oh, sorry y’all,” the woman gasps seeing us embracing, Paige’s hands resting on my ass. Embarrassed, I pull away, nearly pushing the blonde off of me.
“Uh, I need a drink,” I murmur, my thoughts moving so quickly they make no sense, not even entirely sure what just happened in a drunken hue.
“Yoooo,” I hear Arike snickering, and Lala shutting her up.
Paige follows close behind me all the way back to the kitchen island, people around the apartment now notably drunker, louder, stumbling into each other. “You aight?”
“Yeah, yes. I am,” I murmur, pouring whatever booze there was in reach into a glass and downing it, attempting to calm the running thoughts trying to make sense of all of this.
“You sure ma?”
Fuck. The nickname. Suddenly it’s making my core burn, and I feel arousal pooling between my legs almost uncomfortably. Maybe that nickname wasn’t so bad. Maybe it got me so hot and bothered I could barely think. Maybe I wanted her to call me that and only that for the rest of my life.
“Mm, I’m sure,” I mumble, turning to look at the tall blonde beside me, the way some of the buttons on her shirt have come undone, the way she’s eyeing me back, her veiny hands wrapping around a bottle as she pours herself another drink, the chains on her neck, dangling into her shirt. It’s then when I realise - I want to fuck Paige Bueckers.
“Here you are, Paige! Have you seen Satou?” Savannah interrupts us, but my eyes are still stuck on the blonde next to me.
“No, I got no idea where she is sorry.”
“What about your girlfriend, she seen her?”
Suddenly my eyes snap from Paige to the stranger leaning over the island, blinking stupidly.
“I’m not her girlfriend,” I say sternly, my tone harder than it needs to be. I could feel myself getting overwhelmed.
“Wh- oh shit, I’m sorry. You two just seem like a coup-”
“We’re not together,” Paige interrupts her, clearly picking up on my stress levels rising. I feel the room spinning, my breathing growing shallow, my cheeks burning up.
Lala, who had been watching me and the blonde all night, swiftly walks over and grabs me by the waist. “Come with me baby,” she coos, her voice caring and affectionate as she walks me into the couple’s bedroom, closing the door behind us, separating me from everything causing the engulfing emotions.
“Sit down Zari, I’ll get you some water.”
I do as the older woman says, feeling embarrassed, just praying to any God that I didn’t cause a scene. I could feel my head spinning still, the effect from the alcohol still flowing in my bloodstream.
Lala returns and hands me a glass. I chug it down, handing it back to the woman and staring at the floor.
“Are you alright?” Lala asks, sitting next to me and following me closely. I rub my forehead, shrugging.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m more drunk than I realised,” I murmur but the woman shakes your head.
“I think it’s more than that, Zari.”
I look at her, a knowing expression on the woman’s face.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s Paige isn’t it, you like her?”
I sigh, not even sure how to answer that question. Not sure at all what the feelings swirling inside me meant.
“I… I just think I’m drunk-”
“She likes you,” Lala interrupts me. I take her words in, blinking slowly as I do. Paige likes me?
“How do you know?” I ask in a moment of vulnerability. Something about the older woman made me feel safe.
Lala chuckles, shaking her head. “I think everybody knows baby.”
Oh.
I’m speechless for once, staring at the wall, recounting every interaction I had ever had with the blonde girl. My friend. Could she really like me? Worse of all, have I led her on?
“Look, just be careful alright. Don’t give her the wrong idea if… you know, you don’t feel the same,” Lala rubs my shoulders, like reading my thoughts. It all confused me, my feelings most of all - and deep deep down I wasn’t sure about what I felt, my mind an entangled, confusing pile of perplexity.
-
“Hey you alright?” Paige murmurs to me, pressing into my back as I’m pouring myself more water in the kitchen after my little breather. My body is covered in chills once more by her proximity - which must be a sign I like her at least a little bit. Or maybe I’m just needy for someone to touch me. I was drunk after all, and it had been a while. But then again, these chills always occurred when the blonde’s hands were on me, sometimes even when they were not. Just a simple look was enough.
“Yeah, I felt a little dizzy. Feel better now though,” I murmur, finishing another glass of water.
Paige hesitates, chewing on her cheek, clearly in her head as I turn around and notice her expression. “I didn’t do too much ri-”
“Here you are!! I love this song, come dance!” A drunk Satou interrupts the moment, dragging both me and the blonde into the living room, not giving us much choice in the matter.
“Song’s almost over,” Paige chuckles, glancing at me as I shrug but follow the two hoopers.
“Who cares, I love it!” Satou laughs. We’re surrounded by a few others, dancing to the Drake song echoing around the apartment. As the beat fades out, I hear the soft melody of What You Heard by Sonder take over.
“Nooo, boo, I’mma go ask for more Drake,” Satou murmurs, walking off, leaving me and Paige alone.
Our gazes meet and we chuckle at the same time at the girl who just left, clearly even drunker than me and Paige.
“Fuck your mind up, waste time, I'm prone to that, do it all the time, Keep your guard up or wait in line”
“This song is actually fire,” Paige grins and I nod.
“It is.”
I take a dip in her blue eyes, finding comfort in them as the song plays, not at all shocked when Paige steps closer and grabs a hold of my waist, swaying with me. The alcohol is still pumping through my veins, making it easy to wrap my arms around her neck without thinking what it might mean. It felt good to be close to her, so what?
“What's the word? Tell me what you've heard, Don't tell me what to do, just tell me when it hurts.”
Paige sings along to the lyrics, the tiniest bit off-key yet something about it makes me grow flustered quickly, mind flashing with images of her doing exactly what the lyrics describe.
“What's the word? Tell me what you've heard, Don't tell me what to do, just tell me when it hurts, When I get you to myself, it's murder,” I sing back to Paige, our eyes meeting. Her eyelids are heavy from the drinks, and there’s a hint of a smirk on her face. Her silver chains sparkle in the dim lighting, but all I’m looking at is the way she’s staring me down.
Something about the alcohol makes me bold, pressing my body closer to hers, my fingernails scratching into the back of her neck gently, watching as her eyes nearly flutter shut at the contact.
“You be wildin', I be wildin', too, But not like you, shit, maybe a little like you, Maybe we ain't so different, maybe I be trippin', too,” we sing to each other, the blonde’s thumbs rubbing circles on my hips as we dance together. I feel the burn from earlier spread to my core once more, making it hard to think clearly.
Our faces are inching closer, to the point where I can feel her hot breath on my skin. My heart begins to pound and it becomes difficult to keep my eyes open. Paige licks her lips, leaning downwards. For a moment I think she’s about to kiss me, the distance between us growing smaller and smaller - until she ghosts my lips, turning her face, mouth hovering right over my ear, warm breath tickling against my skin.
“If he was a winner, Girl, you wouldn't have to worry 'bout a damn thing, If I was up in it, shit, I bet a pound that I'd put it down, Make you forget that you was ever with him,” she murmurs into my ear with the lyrics of the song, left hand staying on my hip, right hand coming up to the back of my head to hold it still as we keep swaying to the melody.
I feel flustered, my cheeks growing hotter and my core aching for something. No, not for something - for Paige.
“And I hate talking 'bout my stroke game, But girl, I'm giving you the whole thing,” she murmurs with a deep, hoarse voice, my body tingling and on fire at the same time.
Turning my face, my nose brushes into the blonde’s, but I’m too scared to open my eyes, too scared that if I do I’ll start thinking again, realising how senseless this entire situation is.
Paige’s nose nuzzles mine, and I can hear the shallowness of her breathing, her hand at the back of my head maneuvering me in a way so our lips are hovering over each other. I feel like I might pass out, my heart trying to race out of my chest at this point.
“Paige, Zari, I finally found herrrr!” Satou shouts over the crowd, making both of us pull away. My eyes shoot open and I see the girl holding her friend Savannah.
“Oh! Good!” I smile awkwardly, Paige’s hands still on me.
“Jesus…” The blonde murmurs to herself, looking around clearly frustrated by the unwelcome interruption. “You wanna go to the balcony for, uh, some fresh air?”
“Yeah,” I nod, without thinking. I let the tall girl walk me onto the balcony, closing the door behind us.
Fresh air it is not, the weather a hot and humid warning for the approaching scorching Dallas summer. But it still feels right to be alone with Paige, under the dark Texas sky. I glance upwards, looking at the stars to avoid meeting the blonde’s stare.
“So damn hot,” Paige groans, unbuttoning her shirt even more to get more airflow, though I couldn’t care less. I’m only gazing at the way the chains on her neck rest against her skin.
“Yeah, it certainly is,” I mumble, leaning my back against the glass railing.
Paige looks at me with something I can’t recognise, her expression softening as she’s taking steps towards me. “Fuck, that accent,” she murmurs, her hands easily finding their way to my waist again.
“What do you mean?” I laugh.
She shrugs. “I dunno, I just love hearing you talk.”
I chuckle, bringing my hand to her chest and playing with the chain there, number 5 dangling off it. Paige grins too, continuing.
“And the things you say too.”
I scoff, displeased. “Like what?”
“I dunno! British things!”
“British things??” I ask, laughing so hard my stomach begins to hurt, my fingers still fiddling the number 5.
“Like… Taking the piss!” She laughs, leaning closer. I bend forward too, my face scrunching as pearls of giggles spill from my mouth.
“Oh my God, you’re so stupid,” I murmur in a blur of joy, my hand snaking behind her head. In the haze of the alcohol and the giggles and the newfound feelings, before I can think it through, I’m pulling her down by the chain and her head, leaning closer and kissing her.
It’s heaven. Every nerve in my body is on fire. The blonde’s lips open for me, slowly but sensually sliding against mine. My legs feel weak, and my nails dig into the skin of her neck, a whimper leaving my mouth but she swallows it, groaning in response. Her hands squeeze my waist before moving to my face, landing on my jaw to keep me as close as possible - like she might die if I pull away.
I’m pressed closer to the glass behind my back as the kiss grows hungrier. Paige’s mouth opens further, her tongue darting out to slide against my lower lip, begging for entry with a small whine slipping from the blonde’s mouth. It’s like everything pent up was finally releasing, something I didn’t even know was there, bubbling right underneath the surface. My tongue meets Paige’s, both of us melting into the kiss. I feel like putty in her hands, like she could mold me whichever way possible. This is the best kiss I’ve ever experienced, I know that for sure. Jasper always kissed in such a stiff, forceful way. Right. Jasper.
It takes me back to the moment, as if for a sliver of a second I can think clearly. What the fuck am I doing. This isn’t me. I haven’t thought this through at all. I’m leading Paige on.
Abruptly I pull back for air, the taller girl already dragging me back into another kiss needily. But I push Paige back by her chest, stopping her. We’re both breathing heavily, staring at each other. What the fuck am I doing.
“I have to go, I’m sorry,” I mumble, shoving her off me as gently as I can, saying quick goodbyes to Lala and Arike before practically running down the stairs and throwing myself into a cab, leaving Paige upstairs as if nothing happened. The only proof of the night’s events merely the way my lips still burn and tingle, and my racing heart and swirling mind trying to make sense of everything.
-
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#so it goes#lilas writing#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers fanfic#paige bueckers smut#wnba x oc#Spotify
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The lovely discussion around this post this morning has put the topic on my mind, and I do think it bears repeating - there is no way to understand Ed's character if you're not engaging with him as a brown man.
It's one of the most baffling arguments I've ever seen, really, and it shocks me every time it pops up again - this idea that because the real-life Blackbeard was white, that matters in OFMD, and that Taika Waititi's race has no impact on how Ed's character is written, performed, and interacts with in-world logic. This is an incoherent take, I think, not only because OFMD plays fast-and-loose with real-world accuracy but because Ed is clearly written with his race in mind.
And I cannot stress enough - there is no way to have a "race-blind" read of any story, and it's qwhite interesting that this keeps coming up about Ed. Ed is played by a Jewish-Māori actor, and this matters. You literally cannot understand his character if you don't engage with his race. Consider:
consistent racialized dehumanization - when antagonistic characters call Ed a donkey, a wild dog, a low-born dirtbag, it's with the effect of making him out to be less than human because he is a brown man. It's intentional, and it's something every non-white fan watching this show will catch immediately.
the racialized element of the Blackbeard caricatures. In the books, he's made out to look like a "savage" caricature, uncivilized and wild, using the trappings of "civilization" (such as guns) to upset the "civilized" order. It's textbook for how indigenous people have been caricaturized for centuries. The Blackbeard wanted poster is even less subtle, taking obvious inspiration from antisemitic trops including grotesque facial features, exagerrated noses, and prominant eye bags. You cannot understand how the mask of Blackbeard hurts Ed unless you also understand how it reinforces racialized expectations of savagery.
The racial element in how Ed feels excluded from "high society" even once he's rich. When his mama told him "we're not that kind of people," she wasn't just telling him that he is poor, she was telling him that he is a brown boy and trying to step above his lot in life could get him killed. At the party in s1e5, it is impossible to understand what happened without consdering that Ed is the only brown guest in the room. It does not make sense if you don't understand that Ed was being turned into an exoticized party trick because he is indigenous.
Ricky assumes that Ed owes his success to Izzy - not because Izzy is especially good at being a pirate, we're shown over and again he's not, but because Ricky is assuming that a brown man cannot be successful by his own merits and there must be a white man pulling the strings. If you just blindly agree with Ricky, you're missing the point.
Ed's struggle is not just with toxic masculinity, it's also with how he interacts with the world as a Jewish-Māori man. Expectations of violence and uncleanliness and underplaying Ed's successes are essential in-world factors that Ed has to deal with as he tries to figure out who he wants to be and how to live authentically, and you miss all of it if you don't care that he's not white.
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𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 - 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐎𝐌𝐆𝐘𝐔
bf!Beomgyu x fem!reader
in which Beomgyu never liked kids much. At least, until he met you and your little siblings. You were the reason he realized kids might not be as bad. It got him thinking, that maybe love can really change a person.
wc 2.4k
warnings a lot of kissing, making-out, reader has two younger siblings, established relationship, pet names, cringe-ly cute, some suggestive content I guess??
↪ izzy speaks... I am such a sucker for fluff why did I not write one in so long omg T-T. This is actually nothing new either and you can find it on my wattpad acc as it's originally been written for it. But this version has some small edits and also is written for x reader unlike the one on wp as I use my ocs there. But yeah, that's for behind the scenes of this one shot loll
“What are you still doing, love?” The brown-haired boy leaned over the counter, obviously bored already. “Your shift ended twenty minutes ago. Come on,” he whined, flashing you his best puppy eyes, pouting his lips a bit, but it only made you chuckle. When he saw you laugh, his smile dropped, and dramatically flopped down on the counter, his head resting right next to your arms.
You had to smile as you ran your fingers through his hair. “Alright, alright, let's go then,” you whispered, locking the cash register. The male jumped up, immediately full of energy again. “You’re just a tall kid, Gyu,” you shook your head at him, taking your bag so you could leave.
“No, I am not,” he argued, his hand reaching over to snatch your bag. “Would a kid take care of you like I do?” He grinned proudly. “Yes, in fact, my brother takes better care of me than you do,” you teased, letting him take the bag as you walked around the counter to him. “I’m kidding. You know you’re amazing,” you assured him, linking your arm with his. You knew better than to tease him for too long. He might even decide to go home alone if you continued. “Of course I am,” he rolled his eyes jokingly.
“Never mind, I don't want you to come over anymore,” You proclaimed, stepping away from him to prove your point. “I would much rather listen to Mina talk about her favorite clothes.”
Beomgyu fake gasped at your statement, grabbing your hand before you could stray further away from him. “You don't mean that.”
You shrugged, “Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Who knows.”
“I know. You love spending time with me,” Beomgyu stated, pulling you back. He wrapped his arm around your waist, leaning closer to place his lips on yours. You had to smile again when he did so. He was right. You loved spending time with him more than anything else.
“I love you, Gyu,” you whispered against his lips the moment you pulled away, causing a smile to spread on his face. “I love you too, baby.”
“Cutie,” you mumbled, slowly rereleasing his hand. “I’m going to tell my manager I‘m leaving. Wait here.”
“Will do, ma'am,” he said, saluting. You giggled at him, making him quickly burst into laughter.
“I’m sorry you had to wait for so long,” your manager walked back with you right next to her. Beomgyu just shook his head, saying it was okay. “Next time, just come tell me she refuses to leave work. I'll send her home so you two can go on a date,” she laughed, and you rolled your eyes. Gyu laughed, too, nodding. “It's fine. At least we’re leaving now,” he smiled, waiting for you to approach him so that the two of you could finally go.
♡⸝⸝
“Stop doing something all the time,” Beomgyu pouted again, watching you move around the room from his spot on your bed. For some reason, you found cleaning up your room more interesting than lying down next to him, and he wasn't a big fan of that. “But it's a mess,” you looked at him, a shirt in one of your hands and a book in the other. “I forgot to clean before you came, and I regret it now.”
“Love.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, sighing. “I know, I know. I just... I’m still not used to anyone except for my family seeing how messy I am just yet,” you admitted, walking to your table to place the stuff aside.
You approached your bed again, sitting down next to your boyfriend. Beomgyu sat up too, taking your hands in his. “You've seen how my room looks. There are clothes everywhere, and most of them aren't even mine! I don't care at all what your room looks like. I only care about you. So stop doing other things all the time and come watch the movie with me,” he shook your hands, making you laugh. “Thank you, Gyu,” you smiled, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled too, immediately stealing a kiss from you as he pulled you into a hug.
Somehow, your plan to watch a movie together turned into a makeout session instead. You were sitting on your boyfriend's lap, your hands around his neck, playing with his hair while he placed kisses and marks on your neck, his hands wandering across your hips and back.
“I told you not to leave marks,” you complained, but honestly, you couldn't love what he was doing more. Even though you didn't want him to place marks on visible places because you didn't want to mask them up, you still fell in love with him a bit more every time he did.
“Mhm,” he mumbled but didn't stop kissing you. “But they look so pretty on you, beauty,” he proclaimed, leaving your neck for a second so he could kiss your lips again. “Beauty,” you repeated after him, smiling into the kiss. “I love it when you call me that.”
As Beomgyu placed his lips on yours, pulling you closer by your hips, the door swung open, making you pull away from your boyfriend. “Oh gosh, get your own room if you want to be all over your boyfriend,” Mina, your younger sister, frowned. She regretted not knocking immediately. “You’re home already?” Your eyes widened before you got off your boyfriend, sitting beside him awkwardly.
“Yeah, we ended sooner, so I picked up Sang too. It would help if you had told me you were bringing Gyu over. I would have knocked,” she sighed, throwing her bag on her bed on the other side of the room. “I, uhm, am going to help Sang change and...I guess we'll watch something,” she proclaimed, hesitating as she watched the two of you. Mina wasn't sure what to do. Her original idea was to run away as soon as possible and leave you two alone, but the more she looked at you, the more she got the feeling that it didn't matter anymore. It looked like she ruined your mood completely already.
“Thanks, Mina,” You smiled slightly at her, embarrassed. “We'll join you in a minute,” you assured her. “You don't have to,” Mina panicked again, getting embarrassed too. It wasn't like she did anything wrong. It was her room, too, but she still felt bad. “Don't worry about it, Mina, we'll be there right away,” Beomgyu smiled at her, trying to make her more at ease.
“I guess I'll see you later then,” she nodded, awkwardly glancing towards the door. “Yeah, this is weird. Have fun..., I guess?” She didn't even wait for your answer before walking out of the room again, closing the door behind herself as fast as possible.
You screwed your eyes shut, sighing. You rested your head on Beomgyu's shoulder, not saying anything as you looked at Mina's bed. The brown-haired male chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist and resting his head on yours. “She isn't a kid anymore, you know. This probably isn't the first time she has seen people make out.”
“I just keep getting reminded that I need to get my own apartment.”
He didn't say anything to it, but a smile appeared on his face as soon as he heard your words. You gave him the perfect opportunity to finally talk about what he was meaning to mention for weeks now.
“But I don't want to live alone. I don't even know how to do that anymore. It's been fifteen years since I had my room, after all,” You sighed again. “And I would miss them too much.”
“Well,” he started, sitting up properly again, making you raise your head to look at him, a curious look on your face. “You don't need to live alone,” he stated. It didn't take much longer for you to figure out what he was talking about. You weren't dumb at all, and he knew that, so he was sure you would understand him without him having to say much, but somehow, knowing that you knew what he was talking about made him more nervous.
“Are you suggesting something, Mr. Choi?” You grinned, teasing him.
“I am,” he nodded confidently. “Find an apartment with me. I am tired of having Soobin's clothes everywhere I look,” he joked, making you chuckle.
“You want to move in with me?”
“More than anything,” he assured you, taking your hand. “I don't need anything big. All I want is to be with you.”
You couldn't control your smile no matter how much you tried to. Leaning closer, you pressed your lips against his. “Let's find something then,” you whispered against his lips as you pulled away. He smiled too, nodding before he got up, still holding your hand, pulling you along with him.
“You don't need to spend your afternoon with my little siblings,” you reminded him, not letting go of his hand. “I know this isn't how you imagine your Friday night to go.”
“Nothing is more fun than spending time with you. It doesn't matter to me if it's just the two of us or your little siblings too. You love them, and so do I.”
“You’re the best,” you smiled again, walking out of the room with him by your side.
The two of you got to the living room, and you immediately walked over to your little brother, going to hug him and say hi. Mina stepped back when she noticed you so she wouldn't be in the way. She glanced at the older male, mouthing a quick sorry before walking to him.
“You wanna go sit down and rest for a while?” He suggested, his eyes pointing at the dining table. The teenage girl nodded to him, glancing at her two siblings once more before walking away with him.
“Sorry, Gyu. I really didn't know you were coming over today,” she sighed, sitting down. He shook his head again, telling her it was okay. “I am the one who should be sorry. I probably should have locked the door,” he laughed it off, making a laugh escape her lips too. “That suits you way more,” he smiled proudly, and Mina had to roll her eyes. “I don't want to hear it. No speeches about me having to smile more today, got it?”
“Alright, alright. But you can still tell me about school today,” Beomgyu prodded her, and she had to sigh. Somehow, he was exactly like you when it came to this. She could see he cared about her as if she were his sister. It always made her appreciate him.
“Well, and what about you?” Mina asked when she finished her part. “Did you finally get the courage to ask her?”
“I did,” he admitted, his lips curving into a smile again. “She agreed, but I still feel like she will ask you for your opinion right when I leave.”
“Don't worry, I'll tell her living with you will be her best decision ever,” Mina chuckled. “I am the one who encouraged you to ask her in the first place, after all.”
“Yeah, you're the greatest younger sister.”
“Thanks,” she grinned proudly. “We should get back now, though. She is your date, not me.” He nodded, glancing over at you before standing up again. “Let's have a Monopoly night!” He called, smiling widely.
You finally took your eyes off your little brother and looked his way, beaming when you noticed him. “We're gonna play games,” you smiled at your brother again, laughing at how his whole face lit up. “I want to play with Beomgyu!” He yelled immediately, almost tripping when he jumped from the couch to run to him.
“You don't even need to do anything, and you're still their favorite,” you sighed, shaking your head. “It's another one of my charms,” he grinned confidently, picking Sang up when he ran to him. “I bet me being good with kids turns you on.”
“Get a room already,” Mina nudged his shoulder, rolling her eyes.
“We will, but monopoly first,” he answered, sticking his tongue out at her, acting like a little kid again. The four-year-old in his arms laughed, copying the male and sticking out his tongue at his sister too.
“That's not my fault,” Beomgyu said in defense when he noticed your warning look, holding back his laugh.
♡⸝⸝
After a few hours, when your parents got back home from work, you and Beomgyu disappeared into your room again, leaving the rest of your family alone in the living room.
“You didn't even like kids when we first met,” you said, sitting on his lap again, just staring into his eyes. He just shrugged. “I guess one changes a person.”
“You didn't like me either when we first met, and look at us now,” he reminded you, making you roll your eyes. “Well, you were a stranger hitting on me while I was just trying to do my job back then. And you didn't know what ‘no’ meant.”
“Because I knew you would end up falling for me.”
You had to shake your head at his confidence, but you couldn't disagree. You did fall for him. You loved him more than anyone you had dated before, and you had been dating a few people before. He was just different, better.
“I’m glad you never gave up on me, even when you had to go through rejection many times,” you told him, fixing his hair. “You definitely knew better than me back then,” you admitted with a slight smile.
That much was enough for Beomgyu to want to steal a kiss from you again. He pulled you closer to himself and pressed his lips on yours, his smile growing wider when he heard you giggle. He wrapped his hands around your waist, hugging you as you placed your hands on his shoulders, closing your eyes as you kissed him back.
“Now imagine how many of those kisses you can get once we move in together,” he whispered against your lips, grinning when he saw you lean closer again, announcing it wasn't over yet.
Your lips were swollen already, but you didn't mind anymore. You didn't care. All you wanted at the moment was to continue kissing him, so you did. You were going to kiss him for as long as you could.
“I love you so much,” You mumbled against his lips when you had to pull away to catch your breath.
“I love you more, beauty,” he answered, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath landing on your lips. “More than anything.”
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