#this should probably have been broken up into a couple of posts but NO take this behemoth

[beomcharms]

bound ᥫ᭡

pairings: beomgyu x reader

genre: arranged marriage au! childhood friends to lovers, they’re both idiots

warnings: angstt, beomgyu is mean, kissing, suggestive language, part 2 likely to have smut, mentions of food, exhaustion etc (lmk if i missed anything)

w/c: 5.2k (im so so sorry)

a/n : somebody should lock my hands up because i genuinely cannot stop writing this fic😭. wanted to post this as a full fic but i’m pretty sure it’d be over the word count so here’s part one. hope you guys enjoy!!

taglist: lmk and i’ll add you!

fic below cut

Beomgyu who didn’t think twice when his dad proposed the question to him. He was not one to be bothered by love or finding the right one and out of the options he had you seemed to be the best choice. Your family’s knew each other and he has known you since you were babies and all through high school. You guys weren’t exactly friends but you were always there for all the major events in his life.

You, who were taken by surprise at the news, felt even more puzzled out when you heard that Beomgyu had agreed to marry you. He could have any girl. Handsome and charismatic you wonder why he agreed to marry you. Sure, it made sense in a business sense. With you marrying Beomgyu it’d further cement the relationship between your families and really boost your dads businesses. Maybe Beomgyu had his own reasons like you did.

The wedding is a quiet affair, mostly consisting of family friends and couple of your own. The day passes by in a daze and before you even realise it you’re standing in front of Beomgyu.

He looked dashing in his suit. Beomgyu gives you a small smile before giving his vows. You repeat your vows and he leanes down to give a small peck on your lips.

Your families cheer for you and you watch as your mom cries, tears of your own falling down from your cheeks. Beomgyu quietly hands you his handkerchief and you wipe them away, thanking him.

Something in Beomgyu’s chest hardens at the sight of your tears. The marriage had been nothing but one of convenience for him and he wonders whether that was unfair to you. He didn’t really know you all that well. You were quiet and kept to yourself a lot. But when you were really small you would read out stories to him while he dozed off next to you.

Now, looking at you standing next to him as his wife Beomgyu slowly realises how much time has actually flown by. Feeling his eyes own you, you turn around. Beomgyu is staring at you with an unreadable expression. You give him a quick smile which seems to break him out of his daze. He smiles back at you.

-.-

It’s been a week of your marriage. You are slowly adjusting to his house trying to grow familiar with your new environment. Beomgyu leaves early for work and comes home late at night. You on the other hand do your job at the school. The new academic year has just begun and you were trying not to drown in your hectic schedule.

“Hey, mind if I use your hair dryer? Mine seems to be broken” Beomgyu’s question brings you back to reality.

“Huh- yea- no, go ahead” you tell him. You were folding your laundry. You and Beomgyu shared a room, but that was it. You didn’t know when he came to bed or when he rose. The slightly rumpled sheets the only evidence that he had spend the night with you.

It was rare for you to be together at the same time. Being the weekend, it was your off day and you usually spend it at home passing your time doing one of your many hobbies. Beomgyu usually stayed in the study and you figure that’s where he is probably headed after his shower.

Packing up your stuff in to your closet, you head to the kitchen. The dough you had gotten ready for the cookies would’ve probably cooled by now. Opening up your refrigerator, you take out the dough when you hear footsteps. You look around to see Beomgyu making his way towards you.

“Hungry” he answers to your questioning look and you nod your head.

“Would you like some pancakes ?” You ask him, setting down the dough.

“Uh- that’s cookie dough, sweetheart” he tells you with a smile leaning against the counter.

“Duh- I know, I made it” you tell him rolling your eyes. “I have some batter left, but if you’re going to be a smartass about it, then I guess no” you tell him going back to your business.

“Nooo” Beomgyu drawls out and you raise an eyebrow at him “Please I’d love to have some pancakes, if it’s not a bother for you” he adds.

You try to hide your smile, picking up the batter. You look around and Beomgyu’s still watching you. “Sit”

“Yes Ma’am” he sighs before sitting down on the countertop.

Beomgyu watches you as you work around the kitchen. It’s still new to have you around his house, but he likes it. He likes the little decorations you’ve put up on your bedside table. He likes the soft sound of your breathing when he lies down to sleep. He just wishes he had more time to spend with you. But business has been tough as of late. The new merger was taking up almost all of his time. He feels bad about leaving you alone immediately after your marriage but it is what it is.

“There you go, banana or strawberry? Wait- don’t answer that” you tell him cutting up strawberries for him.

“You remember” Beomgyu says softly and you look up at him.

“Ofcourse, can’t remember the number of times I’ve had to drink banana milk because of you and your obsession with strawberries” you tell him disdainfully.

“Yah- you liked bananas so was it really a sacrifice?” Beomgyu’s huffs at you before taking a bite of his pancake.

“How is it?” You ask him leaning down on your elbows.

“Delicious” he answers with his mouth full and you smile at him before picking up a strawberry from his plate.

“What do you plan on doing today?” Beomgyu asks you.

“Rotting on the couch with my new book” you tell him happily and he rolls his eyes which you ignore.

“What about you- lemme guess, hmm working!” You say tilting your head to the left and Beomgyu considers you for a moment.

“It’s called being productive, sweetheart” he tells you sweetly.

“Reading is productive and I’m not your sweetheart” you tell him mocking his tone.

“You’re literally my wife” he deadpans, “I’m legally obliged to call you sweetheart”

“Okay Honey” you tell him before heading off to the sofa and plopping down picking up your book.

Beomgyu is about to say something when his phone rings. He sighs before he answers. Work calls.

-.-

Blinking away from the brightness of the screen Beomgyu takes note of the time. It’s nearly four in the evening.

He wonders if you have had lunch, he’s been completely focused on his work that he forgot about his surroundings, about you. Guilt grips him again as he makes his way downstairs.

You’re passed out on the couch, the book resting on your chest. He wonders how long you’ve been asleep. Gently pushing away a strand of hair, he is about to wake you up when a message pops up on your phone

Sunghyun 🤍- Cant wait to see you tomorrow!!

Beomgyu scoffs. Who was this man ? Does he know you’re married? Why was he texting you ? WHY DO YOU HAVE A HEART SHAPED EMOJI NEXT TO HIS NAME???

“You know, it’s not nice to snoop through someone else’s stuff” you grumble quietly and Beomgyu nearly jumps.

“Fuck” he says clutching his chest. “I was not snooping, i was just waking you up when the notification popped up” he adds on quickly.

“Uh-huh” you tell him holding out your hand for your phone. Beomgyu gives it to you before sitting down next to you on the couch.

You open your notifications. A couple are from your work friends and one from your mom.

You type out quick replies, before putting your phone back down and turning around to face beomgyu.

“Who’s Sunghyun?” Beomgyu asks you looking down at his nails.

“Huh?” You ask, still disoriented from your nap.

“Sunghyun. Who is he?” Beomgyu asks again impatiently. He feels angry at this Sunghyun. “Does he not know you’re married?”

You take a look at Beomgyu before bursting into laughter.

“What.” Beomgyu asks you surprised at your reaction.

You’re still giggling when you answer him, “Sunghyun’s me friend” you tell him.

“And why is that funny? Does he not know boundaries?” Beomgyu huffs out.

“No silly, Sunghyuns a girl. And I’m unfortunately not into girls, neither is she I believe” you tell him grinning.

Beomgyu wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He clutched the bridge of his nose as if to ward off the reddening of his cheeks.

“Bet, you’re reallllyyy embarrassed right now” you tell him in a playful tone trying to see his face as Beomgyu hides it behind his hands.

“Stopp, I was just asking” he whines out.

“Yeah, yeah” you say smiling. Getting up you head to the kitchen to grab water.

“Does Sunghyun not know you’re married??” You do your best imitation of Beomgyu as you sit back on the couch. Beomgyu looks at you with narrowed eyes.

“Alright I’ll stop” you tell him. “What do you wanna eat ?” You ask him.

“Right now?” Beomgyu asks you wide eyes.

“Yeah- you haven’t had lunch yet, have you?” You ask him.

“No.” Beomgyu replies.

“So, let’s eat something. What do you want to have?” You ask him.

“You haven’t had lunch?” He asks you incredulously. His phone starts ringing again and Beomgyu mutes it.

“No, I was waiting for you, guess I fell asleep then” you answer him, moving around your kitchen.

“You don’t have to wait up for me” he tells you sharply and you look at him.

“I know.” You tell him curtly. Anger flares up inside you.

“No, what I meant was- you don’t have to wait like that for me, I eat whenever I get the time-“ Beomgyu tells you in a softer tone.

“I got it” you tell him. “Well, I’m making pasta, would you like to have some?”

“No- I mean- I’d love to- but I have a meeting to attend to right now” Beomgyu tells you getting up. He doesn’t understand why he gets muddled up with his words when he’s next to you.

“You haven’t had anything since those pancakes… you need to eat” you tell him, irritatedly.

“Work calls” he answers you curtly.

“On a weekend? You don’t see me answering mine. You need to set boundaries” you tell him. Beomgyu is going through his phone, not paying attention to you.

“Well, my job demands this. And anyways how hard is it being a teacher” The words are out of his mouth before he thinks through them. He looks up at you and you’re standing there staring at him in disbelief.

An awkward silence settles over the both of you. Beomgyu feels defensive and you feel hurt beyond words.

“Right. Um- guess I’m making dinner for one then. Why don’t you go ahead with your tough job?” You ask him turning away. You hate yourself for being sensitive like this.

“Y/N- that’s not-“ Beomgyu starts and his phone rings again.

“Work calls” you tell him, pointing at his phone before walking into your bedroom and shutting the door.

Left alone, in the hall, Beomgyu sighs in defeat as his phone starts ringing again.

-.-

Beomgyu is sitting on his side of the bed, looking through his phone with his earphones in when you walk in. You barely give him a glance as you tie your hair into its usual bedtime braid.

Beomgyu watches you out of the corner of his eyes. He feels restless and uneasy at the thought of your conversation earlier. He wants to say sorry and fix things with you but he doesn’t know where to start.

You fluff up your pillows before lying down on your side of the bed, completely ignoring Beomgyu’s presence beside you. What he said to you was unacceptable and you still feel angry at the thought of it.

Scrolling through your phone, you respond to texts, giggling at a few from your friends. Beomgyu clears his throat but you turn away from him. You know it’s childish but you can’t help it.

Beomgyu sighs once again before removing his headphones. He looks over at your back. He wants to reach out but he just doesn’t know how.

You finally turn around and lie on your back. You’re smiling at something on your phone and texting back rapidly

Beomgyu feels a spike of jealousy.

“Don’t you have to wake up early tomorrow?” He asks you and you ignore him, which successfully makes him even more irritated.

Beomgyu snatches your phone out of your hand suddenly,

“Hey-“

“I asked you a question” he tells you looking at you. You refuse to look back at him, trying to get your phone back, which he holds high up above you.

You try to grab hold of his arm but he is not even budging and you lie back down in frustration. Beomgyu tries to hide his growing smirk.

“I don’t know Beomgyu- my job is anyways not that important so does it really matter?” You huff out. Staring at the ceiling, still refusing to look into your eyes.

Beomgyu leans over you, trying to catch your eyes and you turn away from him, but he grabs your chin, making you look at him.

“You’re so childish” he tells you. How dare he?

You push his hand away, getting up. You’re about to get off from the bed when Beomgyu grabs hold of your waist, pulling you back in.

“Let me go-“

“No- I don’t care how angry you’re at me, we sleep in the same bed” he tells you trying to hold you down.

“Why” you ask him struggling to free yourself.

“Because it’s on our vows. In sickness and in health…” he starts

“Yes not in anger and in spite” you finally stop struggling, lying still. Stupid strong man.

“Give me back my phone” you tell him.

“Here you go” he says handing it over to you. “Who are you texting at this hour? Doesn’t Sunghyun sleep?” He asks you, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Who says I’m texting Sunghyun?” You tell him, adjusting the pillows around you. Beomgyu leans over you trying to read your texts and you push him away.

“Get your nosey ass away from me” you say.

“Who are you texting? Does he know you’re my wife?” He starts again.

“Oh my god- why don’t I get that tattoed on my head “Married to Choi Beomgyu” maybe that’d keep away everyone” you tell him tiredly, switching off your phone.

“Would make you infinitely more attractive” Beomgyu tells you lying back down.

You pretend to gag, setting up a pillow between you.

“What’s this for?” Beomgyu asks.

“I don’t want you crossing over to my part” you tell him, pulling the blanket over yourself.

“So childish” he mutters before turning off the bedside lamp.

-.-

Waking up you know something’s immediately wrong. Your body feels sore and a slight movement is enough to set you into a world of pain. You cannot be having a fever right now.

You’re about to get up when you notice a pair of hands and legs thrown over your body. Beomgyu has you in his grasp. Clearly a pillow fortress is not enough to keep this man away. Turning around in his hold, you take note of his sleeping form. He looks angel like when he’s asleep.

Slowly extricating yourself from his arms you get up and your world shifts.

“Whoa-“ you mutter grasping into the bed frame. Your ears ring and black clouds the edges of your vision.

You force yourself to walk upto the bathroom but your body gives up midway.

-.-

A thousand needles pin you. Or atleast that’s how it feels. Your entire body is aching when you wake up. You feel disoriented for a moment looking at the white ceiling.

You jump up in shock when someone pushes you back down.

“Your ass is not getting out of that bed unless I tell you” Beomgyu tells you roughly.

“What-“ you start but it comes out more as a croak. You take note of his appearance. He looks a little rough. There is stubble on his jaw and he looks like he hasn’t slept at all.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me if you were sick” Beomgyu starts again. He is sitting by your side. The curtains are closed around your bed.

“It’s not that serious” you tell him carelessly, noting the flowers on the curtains. Beomgyu follows your eyes.

“I requested for a private room but only the ward was available” he tells you softly and your eyes snap back to him.

“Huh? No, I-“ you start. He was getting this wrong. “I don’t like hospitals” you tell him in a small voice.

“Nobody does” he answers.

“No I know- I just, can we go home?” You ask him voice wobbly and you hate yourself for it. Beomgyu looks at you in concern.

“We’ll go soon, waiting for the doc you know?” He tells you arranging the blankets around you. You take note of how you’re wearing his shirt. Did you vomit on yourself? What happened? You feel too embarrassed to ask.

“Did you miss work because of me?” You ask him looking at him with watery eyes.

“No, no it doesn’t matter right now, please rest Y/N” he tells you pushing you down again.

You cover your eyes with your arm not wanting for him to see you in such a vulnerable position. You don’t miss the way he sighs.

-.-

It’s nearly evening when your doctor visits you, going over a few medications and advising you to rest for the next couple of days he finally gives you the green signal to go home.

Beomgyu’s arm rests around your waist, supporting you into the car. You barely remember the ride back home, crashing into your bed the moment you reach home.

When you wake up, Beomgyu is still beside you. He is sleeping, neck bent at an odd angle and you gently shake him awake.

“What- are you okay? Do you need anything” he asks you bleary eyed and jumping up.

“No-no. Calm down. I’m alright” you tell him and he settles back down. He looks extra bear like in his sleepy state and your heart swells a little.

“Go sleep. I’m alright now and you need to be in Office tomorrow” you tell him.

“Yeah” he tells you smiling sheepishly, starting to climb into your bed.

“No- not here. You shouldn’t be sleeping next to me” you tell him immediately, pushing him away.

“What do you mean??” He asks you confused still hovering over the bed.

“No you’ll catch my fever” you tell him shaking your head.

Beomgyu stares at you for a moment before climbing back into the bed. “If that’s the case, I’d have probably caught it by now” he tells you lying down and pushing you back into the bed.

You get up again, “I don’t want you to get sick on my account” you tell him, stubborn.

“God, just lie down Y/N, I’m more strong than you think” he tells you pulling you down next to him.

You cross your arms over your chest, annoyed. Beomgyu smiles to himself at the sight, before pulling you closer to him.

You look over at him and he is looking at you so softly that you feel shy.

“G’night Sweetheart” he murmurs before falling asleep.

“Goodnight”

-.-

It’s been three days. Three days since you last went to School. Beomgyu is driving you up the wall.

“I’m FINE” you nearly scream when he rushes over to help you as you get up from the couch that evening.

“Alright, alright” he tells you holding his hands up in surrender.

“I will be going to school tomorrow- NO- I’m not asking your permission- I will be going to school tomorrow” you almost stomp your foot in anger but hold yourself back.

“The doctor told you-“ Beomgyu starts and you cut him off immediately-

“To rest for a couple of days. It’s been three. THREE. I have so much of work to catch up on” you huff out. “Ofcourse my job is not a real job in your eyes” Beomgyu winces at that, “but I need to be there tomorrow”

“Okay. Okay. But I’ll drop you and pick you up” Beomgyu tells you. He can already see the arguments forming on your lips. “For my sake Y/N, do it for my sake” he nearly pleades and you take a moment before nodding your agreement.

Atleast you get to go back to work.

“Alright, now, will my precious little wife do me the honour of having her dinner?” He asks you.

“Depends on what my precious little husband has cooked for dinner. If it’s another bowl of oatmeal, you’ll be featured on tomorrow’s headlines” you tell him sweetly.

“Why is my oatmeal that good?” He asks you wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and you hold back your laughter.

“Wife kills husband in an interesting turn of events, wherein he served her oatmeal three times a day for three days” you do your best news anchor voice.

“Ha- ha. Here comes the airplane, open your mouth wooo” Beomgyu answers back, settling down next to you and bringing a spoonful of, surprise, oatmeal.

-.-

“Are you sure about this” Beomgyu asks, yet again, sitting at the foot of your bed.

“Yesssssssss” you drawl out applying your lip gloss. You were wearing your normal white skirt and blue shirt, tying up your hair in a low bun. You glance at Beomgyu through the mirror. He sits ready for work, waiting patiently for you.

“Hmm, which perfume should I wear for today” you ask more to your self that anyone else.

“The one that smells like caramel” Beomgyu immediately answers. You look over at him with an eyebrow raised and he shrugs his shoulders.

“Alright then, I’m done” you tell him. “How do I look ?” You ask him giving him a twirl as he gets up from the bed.

“Hideous” he tells you walking to the door, trying to calm his rising heart rate.

-.-

“Okay, leave. Now.” You tell him tugging off the seatbelt.

“Good day to you too” he mocks.

“Aw, have a nice day my lovely pumpkin” you coo pinching his cheeks before jumping off of your seat and waving him goodbye.

Beomgyu waves back his hand coming to rest on his cheek. He watches you walk towards the school. Your coat bellowing around you in the wind. He wonders if he should’ve forced you to wear the scarf too.

Looking over, Beomgyu notices a kid running as if to catch upto you. The little boy reaches you and you immediately pat his head, giving him a lovely smile. The boy holds up his hand to you, and Beomgyu watches as you smile down widely at the boy before taking the child’s hands in your own.

Without knowing it himself, Beomgyu is smiling too, watching you.

-.-

A few days pass in the same manner. You’ve grown so used to Beomgyu’s presence that it feels weird to go to work without him.

Making him laugh was your favourite thing. To watch his whisker dimples on full display and his eyes form crescent moons, you feel warmth spread through you. Sometimes it scares you. You were bordering on falling for him that it terrified you. You knew this marriage was one of convenience and Beomgyu would never feel the same way but your heart continued to hope.

Also, you were driven mad with need. To have one of the most handsome men you’ve met right next to you, laughing along with you was one thing. To have his hands brush against yours every once in a while, watching those thick veins work their way around a steering wheel was a completely different thing. Waking up next to him with his deep voice right next to yours, having him wrap you in his arms every night, albeit unconsciously was leading you to the edge of insanity.

Unbeknownst to you, Beomgyu was not faring much better. He has grown so attached to you that the thought of being away from you was unthinkable. Every job he did felt like a hurdle to reach you. He loved listening to you talk. You were so animated, hands flying around and having the most comic expressions, he wanted more and more. At the end of the day, Beomgyu was also a man. He knew you slept without a bra on. Your warm body pressed against his and your sweet smelling hair, the way you threw you head back in laughter, exposing your neck to him… Beomgyu felt like he was on a sensory overload.

Yet, he remained a patient man.

-.-

Beomgyu was working away on his laptop when you walked into his study. He looked up and smiled immediately. You were standing at the door, fidgeting, holding a cup and wearing your long camisole.

Beomgyu checks the time. It’s nearly midnight. He just had to figure out this assignment before he slept.

“Well, aren’t you gonna come in?” Beomgyu asks you and you walk upto his table.

“It’s hot cocoa” you tell him before placing down the cup on the table. “Do you have a lot to do?”

“Just this one thing” he tells you pointing to the graph “you go ahead and sleep, I’ll come soon”

You look over at the graph before you, leaning in to get a closer look.

“Ahh, you can’t figure out whether to sell or stay” you tell him looking at the stock market indicators. Beomgyu looks at you in surprise.

“I know my stuff” you tell him, “you neednt look so surprised”

“Is that so? Well would my lovely wife advise me on what i should do then?” He asks you smiling.

You lean down further to see the graph and Beomgyu without warning pulls you down onto his lap.

You turn to look over at him. “Was this your master plan to get me into your lap?” You ask him, dragging the laptop closer to you and adjusting around him.

“Sweetheart you literally came in holding cocoa, that’s code for “i wanna sit on your lap”” he tells you

“Goofy ass” you reply rolling your eyes and Beomgyu drags you closer to him. His breath is so close to your ear that you find it difficult to concentrate on anything but you force yourself to look at the chart before you.

Looking at the rise and fall of the stock you analyse it further to understand it’s behaviour.

“Hmm… I’d advise you to stay” you tell him quietly after a while.

“Why” his voice is close to a whisper and you try not to react to it, pressing your thighs together. An action not missed by Beomgyu.

“Uh…” you feel out of breath. Get a grip! You tell yourself strongly. “See here” you tell him pointing at the graph. Beomgyu rests his chin on your shoulder looking at the place you are pointing.

“The stock has always broken through every time it has hit a barrier and the highs and lows are getting closer and closer, so get ready for the boom” you say the boom looking at his face and Beomgyu grins.

“How do you know all this” voice so loving that you’re taken by surprise. He turns you around on his lap, so that you sit sideways, arms around his shoulder.

“I- uh- I used to do trading for dad” you tell him in a small voice.

“Why did you stop?” He asks you trying to look into your eyes.

“It was not for me. I hate how obsessive I got with it” how obsessive he got with it, you add silently.

Beomgyu rubs a soothing hand over your thigh and you resist the urge to shiver. He smirks at you and you roll your eyes at him, ready to get up, but Beomgyu holds onto your waist.

Beomgyu glances down at your lips and looks back into your eyes. Your doe eyed stare is enough to sent him over the edge, he pulls you closer to him, your body fitting perfectly into his.

“Someone’s eager” you tease him in a whisper, voice full of mirth and Beomgyu cups your cheeks with one hand.

“I’m your husband, sweetheart and husbands have rights” he tells you lowly, face getting closer and closer to yours.

“Hmm… do they?” You ask him, acting like you were thinking about it. Beomgyu nearly growls at you, frustration building up inside him.

“Easy tiger” you laugh, holding his face in your hands and placing a small kiss on his nose. Beomgyu’s grip on your waist tightens and he leans down to your lips, face impossibly close to yours.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks you before capturing your lips with his. The kiss is heated, Beomgyu’s tongue incessantly moving against your own as if to try and get back the last bit of cocoa from your mouth. Your head feels woozy and you try to calm yourself but you feel yourself losing control. You grip onto his shoulders and bite his bottom lip and Beomgyu moans into your mouth, the sound music to your ears.

Beomgyu breaks away first, eyes still closed as if trying to ground himself. You’re not doing much better. You’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. Beomgyu grins at you and you try to kiss his whisker dimples.

“Someone’s eager” he laughs and you shake your head.

“Ofcourse I’m eager” you tell him, “have you seen yourself?” You ask kissing him once more.

“Just - “ Beomgyu’s phone starts ringing and you both look down at it. You see Kai’s caller ID and try not to sigh. Do investment bankers not get the concept of sleep?

“Fuck” Beomgyu mutters. You get up from his lap, but Beomgyu tries to pull you down.

“Baby- just a minute” he tells you eyes apologetic and you feel bad.

“Take your time” you tell him softly before walking out the door.

-.-

Beomgyu is not beside you when you wake up. Slightly disoriented, you get up from your bed. What time was it?

It’s only 7, you make your way down the stairs. Beomgyu stands by the kitchen, already dressed for work.

“Hi” you tell him groggily. “Why are you up so early” you ask him, plopping down on the seat.

“Early meeting. We have a gala to attend tonight” He tells you adjusting his tie.

“What.” You ask him spluttering.

“Be ready by 5” he says turning around and looking at you.

“Beomgyu, I have a parents teachers meet today” you tell him urgently.

“Well, get done with it soon. This is important” he says taking out his phone.

“But- this is my job! I don’t even have an outfit-“ you start panicking.

“I know but this is really important. We need to be there” he says. “I’m sorry”

“Oh, are you really?!” You ask him angrily. You couldn’t understand him. One day he was acting all sweet and loving and the next day, it was like you meant nothing.

“I don’t have the time for this right now” he says walking to the door.

“When do you ever have the time?” You ask following behind him.

“Keep your voice down!” He tells you harshly.

“Oh fuck you-“ you nearly scream.

Beomgyu slams the door on the way out.

🎧this is the end of pt.1, hope you liked it 🥹PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE interact with this fic because it helps me out a ton and it feels less like i’m shouting into a void. xoxo🎧

[project-sonadow]

My [15M] rival [15/50M] has been weirdly aggressive towards me ever since he lost his memories for the second(?) time. Should I be worried about him trying to kill me again?

Summary

A post on r/relationship_advice by u/Chili_Dog1991

EDIT 1: Stop saying I'm Sonic I'm not.

EDIT 2: Okay I am Sonic. I don't see how that matters.

EDIT 3: Stop trying to figure out which of my rivals this is.

EDIT 4: Stop telling me to contact the police about his attempts to murder me or his age. It's complicated in regards to his age but he's essentially 15 and I can already defend myself way better than the police can in regards to his murder attempts. Also the police would probably try to arrest me too because they're either useless or make things actively worse.

EDIT 5: Stop DMing me to ask how murder attempts can be fun. I shouldn't have to explain this.

EDIT 6: Stop implying I'm a masochist.

EDIT 7: Stop implying I'm an adrenaline junkie. If I just wanted adrenaline I've got tons of other people who could give me that.

EDIT 8: To everyone who actually responded with advice, thank you. I attempted to talk to him about it, we fought again, and it turns out he's been acting aggressive because he doesn't know how to show affection so he just defaults to violence. We ended up holding hands after we physically couldn't fight anymore. It was a great night and I think we're together now.

EDIT 9: Which of you motherfuckers sent this to Tails.

ORIGINAL POST

Hi everyone, using a throwaway account to make this post because my little brother knows my main and the embarrassment would kill me if he ever saw this. 

So for context, I've known this guy for a while now, at least in the context of my life. I've got a pretty hectic life and I'm a traveler, so I've met a lot of people and he's one of the few that's been able to keep up with me. Our first meeting was during a bit of a stressful time because he kind of inadvertently framed me for thievery (we look kinda alike and the police are stupid, it's not his fault but I was pretty pissed at the time) and got me arrested, so we ended up fighting about it in the middle of the street. I'm used to fighting and pretty good at it, so it was a surprise when he turned out to be basically my equal at it, which is pretty rare even among my other rivals. He got the upper hand on me for long enough that the police were able to arrest me again. I was pretty mad but also impressed. Our second meeting was even more stressful because I had just got out of jail after being arrested for the second time, and I was still angry about it so we fought again. I was about to win but then it turned out we were both in danger along with some friends of mine so we both left as fast as we could. Both of these times I could tell he was taking the fight seriously, but I could also tell he wasn't trying to KILL ME kill me. Y'know?

Anyway, in our next meeting he was definitely trying to kill me. Outright said it to my face. I won that fight thankfully, and I'm not even angry about it because a lot of people have tried to kill me over the years and also he has some kind of goal I was getting in the way of, and he didn't even succeed. He ended up changing his mind about that goal though, and when we next saw each other we were on the same side trying to deal with a mutual threat. 

And it was at that point I kind of realized I was in love. I've never really wanted a relationship because I thought it would get in the way of my lifestyle, but with this guy specifically it wouldn't be a problem. I would have told him about it, but then I thought he died and I didn't see him for a while. I wasn't too broken up about it because we only knew each other for a couple days, but I was still sadder than I thought I would have been.

He ended up coming back to life though, and he had lost his memories for the second time in his life (long story I'm not gonna get into) and he didn't really remember me anymore. I know from a mutual friend of ours that he remembered me well enough to be annoyed by my name, which made me irrationally happy, and I think he did end up getting his memories back, but when we first saw each other he definitely didn't know who I was. We fought again, it was a tie, and then we ended up teaming up to take down a mutual enemy again. 

Things have been a bit less chaotic since then. We've fought a couple more times but nothing serious, he's saved my life, I've saved his, you know how it goes. We haven't really talked about anything that happened, but that's fine because neither of us have ever been much for verbal communication and we understand each other just fine. I've tried getting over my crush on him, but that's never really worked because we see each other a lot due to our lifestyles and we have some mutual friends in common, and I like spending time with him anyways, even if we're just beating each other up most of the time.

Personality wise, he's basically my polar opposite, but we get on pretty well despite that. I think aside from my general attraction to danger and his ability to match me in a fight and a race that might be the main thing that draws me to him. I've got a lot of friends, but never one so different from me and yet so similar. He's just always been special to me.

But the main reason I'm making this post is because despite all we've been through, he still acts like we're enemies at worst and temporary allies at best. We fight almost every time we meet unless something less serious is going on, and he's pretty grumpy and mean to me all the time. I like this about him, but it does make me question if he even sees me as anything more than a rival, and I don't know how to ask him because we don't talk about weird emotional stuff. I also think that asking him directly could maybe lead to another murder attempt, which would be fun, but it's not what I'm looking for anymore. I don't mind all the fighting, but just once I'd like to kiss him on the mouth instead of punching his teeth in, y'know?

[chrollogy]

SIGNED: LOVESICK FOOL #03

iwaizumi hajime x f!reader

masterlist

synopsis: After reading the new confession during his lecture, it takes all of Iwaizumi’s sanity not to get up, and leave in the middle of class, especially after coming to a conclusion that these confessions are indeed written by you.

chapter content warning: college au, fluff :3, friends to lovers, iwa is an impatient man !!, they’re kinda awkward, kissing omg, not beta read.

word count: 2.7k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. weee last chapter ! thank u sm for showing love n interest to this hehe this was totally an unplanned series so apologies if the pacing is meh :3

Oikawa was just teasing, Iwaizumi knew it but why did the brunette’s words fuck him up so bad? Did he finally succumb to his delusions for his friend’s words to make him overthink this bad? If anything, Iwaizumi should be completely rational about the whole situation since one wrong move would cost the price of your friendship.

A couple of days had passed since the former had shown him the confession, he’s been trying to act very indifferent over it despite those words from Oikawa but nothing helps when most—if not all—students were talking about dimples which were mentioned on the post.

Now that the anonymous submitter had specified their best friend’s features, students were on the prowl for anyone with dimples—which was exactly what Oikawa had done during that night in their shared dorm.

It repeated in his mind like a broken record, taking up most of its space, and leaving no room to even think of anything else. What would he do? What would Iwaizumi do if these confessions were actually from you?

As far as he knows, it’s strictly fifty-fifty as of now—a fifty percent chance that they were from you because as vague as the first confession was, the second somewhat mirrored yesterday’s events with you. But also a fifty percent chance that this was all an uncanny coincidence, and Iwaizumi was just overthinking it. After all, he didn’t want to jump into any conclusions without a concrete reason.

For now, he ruled it as a mere coincidence. Waiting for another confession to confirm anything would probably be the best idea here, though, of course, that was if you—or the real person behind these submissions—were going to send in another.

Iwaizumi didn’t want to admit it—especially to Oikawa—but he was kind of looking forward to the next confession, even going as far as turning on the notifications for the page. Embarrassing, he knows but for one to underestimate a yearning man was like walking into a fight determined to lose. Though, Iwaizumi wouldn’t even know how to approach the situation if he were to get the confirmation he needed; would he confront you about it? That wasn’t really his style to do so, he could already imagine how awkward it was going to be—tripping over his words, and all crimson-cheeked.

Oddly enough, your words back at the study room last week equally bothered Iwaizumi, he couldn’t specify what about it made him feel this way.

Nevermind that, he needed to focus on the lecture material at hand. Or at least he tried to.

He sat inside the vast lecture hall filled with students, it wasn’t too packed nor was it too empty, just enough to freely give Iwaizumi the pleasure of choosing a seat where he could quietly take notes but also maybe slack a bit without their professor noticing—a few rows back from the middle. It was always like this whenever a new semester started, all students would attend their lectures for about a week straight before the numbers dwindled where a majority of them would rather watch their lectures at the comfort of their room, leaving a fair number of students who actually attended in-person.

The professor’s monotonous voice echoed throughout the lecture theatre—into Iwaizumi’s ear, and out. Despite his interest in the topic at hand, he couldn’t take his mind off you. He figured he might have to rewatch the recorded lecture once he’s back at his dorm to jot down important concepts.

Iwaizumi managed to force himself to actually listen in, even if it was half-assed, though this was only effective for five minutes or so due to his phone vibrating inside his pocket. As if on cue, his mind immediately wandered to the confessions page, what if it was another submission from that anonymous—from you. His hand itched to dip inside his pocket, and check the notification but at the same time, Iwaizumi didn’t want to be more distracted than he already was.

His mind chalked it up to a text from either Oikawa or you but that didn’t really do much—even just the thought of getting a text from you made him all the more curious about this random notification.

Oh fuck it.

Unceremoniously dropping his pen onto the desk, it rolled off to the edge, finding its comfort atop the carpeted floors just beside his foot. He’d get that later. Iwaizumi sank further into his seat as if doing so would somewhat shield him from the embarrassment that engulfed his body; acting this way over something so little, Oikawa wouldn’t let him see the end of it for sure.

A stutter bloomed inside Iwaizumi’s chest as his dark emerald eyes read the notification title—it was from the page. They had posted a new confession just a few minutes ago. Without wasting any more time, his thumb flew over to the notification. Iwaizumi didn’t know he had been holding his breath after releasing it once he was met with a loading screen.

There was nothing to be afraid of, really.

After a few seconds, the screen finally loaded, Iwaizumi’s eyes immediately zeroed in on the bottom of the post, checking to see if it was submitted by the same anonymous sender. It read,

Signed: Lovesick Fool

A wave of excitement washed over his body at those familiar words. Iwaizumi had to physically stop himself from smiling like a whole idiot over this, his free hand coming up to over the lower half of his face, hoping that his fellow classmates couldn’t see how silly he looked. Putting on the most stoic expression he could muster, Iwaizumi began reading,

‘I know you’ve seen the other confessions I’ve written, and you’ll most likely see this too.’

He sucked in a breath. The professor’s voice spilled from the lecture theatre’s speakers but it was muffled, and soft, it faded into a sweet, thumping melody—the melody of Iwaizumi’s heart; he could hear nothing but the pounding of the beast confined in his ribcage.

‘This sounds really really pathetic but fuck, everything you do just makes me hopelessly in love with you. The way your eyes light up every time you talk about your interests, the way you get kinda mad at me for being reckless at times only because you care—the list could go on and on. I hope you know that I love you with all my heart and soul and that I would gladly make you as much agedashi tofu as you want.’

Iwaizumi’s eyes fixated on two words, agedashi tofu.

To many, that may seem like an irrelevant, misplaced piece of information—completely random—but to Iwaizumi, it meant everything because not only was that his favourite but it also confirmed his suspicions, that you were the one behind these popular confessions, and you had just confessed how in love you were with him.

This was too much to even be deemed a coincidence. Dimples. His favourite food.

Warmth—no, a searing blaze. That was the only thing Iwaizumi could feel right now, not even the pounding of his chest, not even the tremble of his hands, not even the shortness of his breath but the burning of a thousand stars—fiery. As though an azure flame had been born in the depths of his chest.

Iwaizumi needed to see you now.

Twenty minutes. It had only been twenty minutes since the lecture started which meant Iwaizumi had to sit through another forty minutes before he could see you. Forty long minutes of squirming in his seat, and repeatedly glancing at the large digital clock on the wall. Forty long minutes of gnawing at the skin of his bottom lip, and impatiently bouncing his leg up, and down to ease the nerves eating him up.

If only Iwaizumi knew how to control time then he wouldn’t be facing this problem.

You might have fucked up. Maybe adding in a crucial piece of information—his favourite food—may have not been the smartest move; of course, others won’t bat an eye at it but the target audience, however—also known as one Iwaizumi Hajime—would immediately pick up on this. Though, what’s done was done, you just somehow wish that he wouldn’t come across this specific confession even though that’d be one-hundred percent unlikely.

Gnawing at your bottom lip, your eyes read through the paragraphs on your textbook, trying not to think of your most recent confession, and instead diverted your attention on the lecture material. It was going well ‘til your phone lit up, indicating a notification.

Wasting no time to check it, you sucked in a breath after seeing Iwaizumi’s name on the notification tab. It was a message from him, he must’ve just finished his afternoon lecture.

Okay. Okay. Having lunch together wasn’t foreign at all but you seemed even more nervous about it now, not to mention how Iwaizumi sounded so serious over text—well, maybe you were just being dramatic, that was how he normally texted. Though, the fact that he had to follow up with another message saying that only the two of you would be having lunch was a little odd. Iwaizumi was never one to specify these kinds of things.

It took Iwaizumi approximately seven minutes to walk from his lecture theatre to the library, three if he decided to do a light jog. As your figure came into view, sitting on a study desk amongst all the other students in the jam packed library floor, it reminded him of your confessions.

How had he been so oblivious to your feelings? Just the thought of you keeping all that to yourself gave Iwaizumi the urge to wrap his arms around you in a tight hug. Maybe later.

He greeted you with a small wave of his hand which you eagerly returned. The little gesture tugged at his heartstrings, and weakened his knees; now that Iwaizumi knew you reciprocated his feelings, he figured he deserved to let his guard down a little—this time, he won’t push them down like he used to do.

As you quietly packed things inside your bag, Iwaizumi took the pleasure of discretely watching you from the corner of his eyes. He stood by the study desk you sat on, thumb mindlessly scrolling on his phone while his gaze was on you.

The way the afternoon sun bounced off your glowing skin had him sucking in a breath. God, you looked effortlessly breathtaking as always. His eyes traced the outline of your features, gaze gently kissing every dip, and curve of your face, from the tint of your lips all the way to the length of your lashes. Iwaizumi looked off to the side, warmth bloomed from his chest, and crept up the column of his neck ‘til it cupped his cheeks.

“Let’s go?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, wary of fellow students studying. Iwaizumi returned a nod, and stiffly led the way.

He could feel everything wrong with his movements—the way his legs felt weird, the awkward stride in each step, how his arms felt heavy against his sides. It was as though Iwaizumi’s body wasn’t insynched, he was all over the place yet the only thing that remained constant was his yearning heart.

You fell into a step next to Iwaizumi, clearly aware of his silence. Usually, he’d be talking your ear off about today’s lecture despite not understanding a single thing from your end but all you got was nothing. Sneaking a glance to the side, you caught a glimpse of a slight scowl on his face, one that he usually put on when in deep thought. 

The warmth of your body slowly seeped on to his own, your hand was centimetres away from his, and it beckoned him like a sweet, sweet temptation, an invisible string pulling, and pulling his hand closer to yours until—

Both of you flinched at the subtle contact, a slight brush of his knuckles against yours yet it was as though his skin burned like an azure blaze.

“Oh, sorry.” Iwaizumi gave you a sheepish look, rubbing his nape with the hand that touched yours. You shook your head, mumbling a small ‘it’s okay’ but was it really when the warmth of your cheeks, and the beating of your heart said otherwise?

The touch was momentarily yet it was as though you’ve caught a glimpse of great ecstasy, the feeling of Iwaizumi’s bare skin against your own had you yearning for more like a touch starved man. You couldn’t quite figure out why he’s been acting so foreign lately but you weren’t much better yourself.

Ever since last week, the air between you, and Iwaizumi has turned weird—as if the two of you danced around each other but took no further step to initiate anything; whatever that anything was, you didn’t know.

The abrupt sound of his shoes against the pavement reeled you away from your thoughts. Looking behind you, you’ve noticed that Iwaizumi had come to a stop, hands balled beside him, and a tinge of crimson on the tips of his ears.

Confusion clouded your mind, “You oka—” “The confessions.” Iwaizumi cut you off. Your heart violently stuttered.

“Those are from you, right? The ones signed with ‘lovesick fool’.” 

Oh, how badly you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Your nails dug into the hearts of your palms, words lodged inside your throat but didn’t dare come out, all you could really do was stare at Iwaizumi wide-eyed as embarrassment stuck to your body like a leech.

Two options: act like you don’t know anything or run away but seeing as how serious Iwaizumi was, you figured he didn’t have time for silly games.

“How did you—oh my god this is so embarrassing.” Just the thought of pouring your heart out into those confessions, and Iwaizumi fully aware that you were behind them was enough reason to crawl into a hole, and disappear forever. Not to mention how he most likely didn’t even reciprocate your feelings.

Iwaizumi took a few steps closer, a small smile danced on his lips. Oh, so he was finding this all funny, huh? But somehow it gave you a tinge of hope that rejection was out of the picture.

“If I’m being honest, you gave it away from the first confession,” Your eyes widened at his words, trying to rethink back on the first confession you submitted. What the hell. You were so sure to be careful, and vague about it. “Well, not the confession itself but what you said when Oikawa read it out loud,”

“You said something about how it was a long term friendship yet the confession never mentioned anything like that—”

Oh. So, in conclusion, you fucked up.

“—not to mention the dimples in the second confession, and agedashi tofu on the third.”

You buried your face in your palms, turning into putty—not the good kind—as the words came out of Iwaizumi’s mouth. Never mind rejection, this was more embarrassing, definitely a core memory for the books, one that you’d never read.

“Look at me.” He softly chuckled but you were stubborn, shaking your head behind your palms.

Iwaizumi let out a sigh before his hands came up to your own, gently guiding them away from your face to meet your gaze. He didn’t stop there, Iwaizumi held your hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze that matched his reassuring smile.

“Are you gonna reject me now?” “Close your eyes.”

Huffing at the way he ignored your question, you obliged anyway, fluttering your eyes shut. At least this was one step better than being rejected on the spot. All you could feel was the warmth of his hand, and the violent pounding of your heart against your chest.

What was he even up to?

Iwaizumi traced your features with his gaze, dropping down, down, down ‘til it found your lips.

After a heartbeat, you felt something warm press against your face—no, your lips. It was only for a brief moment yet you craved its softness, his softness more than anything. You opened your eyes to see a crimson-faced Iwaizumi, he was just as shell-shocked as you were by his own actions.

“Did that—did that answer your question?” “You’re absolutely unbelievable. Kiss me again.”

Iwaizumi didn’t have to be told twice. This time, he did so with more passion. He was going to kiss you as many times as you wished, maybe until all the air in his lungs ran out if it meant your happiness. Because now, he wasn’t going to let you go, not when the taste of this beginning was so, so sweet.

Maybe pouring your heart out to the university confessions page wasn’t a stupid move at all.

—

tags: @stunie @akumakitsune21 @boosyboo9206 @khfviq @avis-writeshq @elliesndg @1929sleepdeprived @wakashudou @lillycore @viscoolreal @lialia3945 @softpia @anqelkoz @tar0sw0rld @nwhaerin @kiyuwumi @seroh @eggyrocks @jellysupremacy @songofgratitude @gsyche @haikyuusunsalad @smellysluna @amoosarte @bbyxxm @fiannee @tiramisu4uu @hoshhhiiiii

affiliated with @houseofsolisoccasum & @the-all-stars-network !

© chrollogy 2024 | don't plagiarise, repost or steal my header.

[blamebrampton]

Books talk to each other. Mostly because practically every writer is also a voracious reader, but also because books arise out of times and places and we share a lot of our worlds these days. So it’s unsurprising that several novels I have hugely enjoyed over the past few years share the theme of the antiheroine who is past all giving of the fucks. Naomi Novik’s powerful dark sorceress kept on her own tight leash in the Scholomance books was a joy to follow; Xiran Jay Zhao’s Iron Widow slashed her way into my heart and now Sarah Rees Brennan’s Long Live Evil has added to a list of beloved antiheroines that probably started for me with Becky Sharp in Vanity Fair.

Coincidentally, when considering how to describe Long Live Evil without significant spoilers, I realised that it shared several major themes with Vanity Fair. Young woman unfairly treated by fate decides to embrace her slut era to survive a war zone – both very accurate and wildly inaccurate for both. LLE opens with main character Rae in a hospital bed, teasing her sister about a book series they both adore. Rae is taking refuge in the story they have shared over years because it is one of the few things they have left: she is losing her fight against cancer and has been losing parts of her life, family and memory as that fight has progressed.

My personal hospital experiences have all been to do with major traumas rather than illness, which I vastly prefer because if you don’t die in the first couple of days, you usually start mending and you can immediately make plans to make the best of whatever you’ve broken. Rees Brennan, however, famously wrote a very funny, very horrible, ‘Kids, you won’t believe what shenanigans your girl’s been up to now, it’s only stage four Hodgkins lymphoma!’ post on her Tumblr or LJ (someone who has been hit in the head with taxis fewer times than me will doubtless factcheck that in the notes) about seven or eight years ago and then faced the very serious business of trying to live. The hospital scenes are painfully authentic, as are the stories of people who have left Rae as she slipped further out of everyday life.

For Rees Brennan, a loving family and peer group were there to hold her as close as they could. For Rae, only her beloved little sister, Alice, and Time of Iron, their favourite fantasy series, remain. They read the books together, remember adventures cosplaying and watching the musical, they wonder about the final instalment; for Rae it’s a joy she can still share (even if she doesn’t remember as much as she should), for Alice, it’s her two greatest loves. When a strange woman offers a door into the world of the book and a possible magical cure to Rae, she wants it as much as she disbelieves it.

Stepping into Eyam, the land of Time of Iron, Rae finds herself in the body of a villain doomed to die the next day. No worries! She’s thought and fought her way out of worse scraps than this in her past as a head cheerleader, let alone while battling cancer. She can use her knowledge of the plot to change things! If only she remembered more of the books…

Portal fantasies are common enough, but not all play by the same rules. This isn’t Narnia, where the magical world is more real than our own, for Rae, the world of the book is nothing more a tool to get her hands on the cure. She doesn’t need to care about any of these people, they’re not real. Most of them speak in a formal language that relies on the conventions of fantasy literature (there is an ongoing, warm-hearted skewering of all Game of Thrones-esque texts running through both the story and the in-text ‘quotes’ from Time of Iron) and half the characters are known more by their descriptions rather than their names. So she will play the Beauty Dipped in Blood, with her questionable morals, impractical clothes and centre-of-balance-distorting boobs for the weeks that will pass until the cure is available. Whoever she has to shuffle in the plot to secure a place beside that cure, she will shuffle. While she’s not out to kill anyone, it’s not as though they were ever really alive. Not like her. If she has to be the villain to survive, she will be an impeccable one. The people will cheer evil on!

Obviously, little goes to plan. Rae’s illness has taught her cruelty, but she hasn’t forgotten what it is to be kind. Even as she manipulates her role into ongoing main character, she realises that’s not how anyone gets a happy ending. That’s not how she can live with herself. As she comes to think of the other people in the story as real, they become more so, both in how we read them and in how they impact the story. Rae remembers what it is like to make friends, which she never meant to, but, oh, the luxury after years of watching people slip away!

As in previous novel In Other Lands, Rees Brennan has a long list of fantasy tropes to embrace and undermine, and her deft touch with humour is as evident as ever here, but her publishers call this her first adult novel and there is a shift in tone from her previous works. Anger is more real and lasting. Consequences are more significant. Understanding is reached for, even if it’s bitter. One of my favourite things is that she lets her female characters rage, but never judges those who can’t, whether because they’re too powerless or just too tired, and her male characters are allowed to be people if they choose to be — which all but the most vainglorious do.

I hadn’t paid much attention beyond checking the release date for the book, so didn’t realise it was the first in a series. For me, it worked perfectly as a standalone novel, even with the unended threads, which would have perfectly balanced Rae’s unfinished life. That said, I am very happy to know we will spend more time with these characters in the future. I want more. I do want to know if there is a hope for Rae, if this is the fever dream of a fading life, if this is the story Alice has told to ease her sister from the world or something else. There are a dozen characters I hope for, at least three happy endings that would bring joy. But don’t wait for the next books: sink your teeth into this one and believe what it says about the importance of listening to stories rather than just falling in love with characters. Though if you find yourself cheering on Rae, or her servant Emer, the elusive Eric, Horrible Hortensia or almost any of the others, I am the last person who will judge you.

[germesthegenie]

Can a “😍😙😁” gal and a “💀👿🩸” gal really be besties? Sure seems like it so far.

Based on a scene from Ward 3.3

Recently finished Ward Arc 3! Thoughts below:

Been a while since my first post on Ward, a couple of thoughts:

Arc 2

I like the slower pace so far (we’ll see how long that lasts i suppose). Nice to get little moments like Victoria going to interviews and visiting the kids at the hospital.

Zion really gave one last middle finger to humanity and said “You know what? Automated random horrific death triggers.” Jokes aside, the broken trigger scene was haunting, might draw something based on it in the future.

The therapy group superhero team premise is interesting. Nice to have a band of characters who have mental or emotional weaknesses but have each other’s backs! Now let’s see who they’re up agaisnt- oh, Tattletale? Oh no.

Not too many thoughts on the arc’s interlude, a lot of nice worldbuilding which is always welcome.

Arc 3

Capture the Flag was a fun premise for a friendly fight, and it delivered pretty well in showing off everyone’s powers, strengths and weaknesses. Also nice to see Victoria filling a more mentor/coach role and getting to flex the experience she’s gained with her power in a more positive light. Have some drawing ideas once I figure out how exactly I want to depict stuff like her aura.

Liking the new team so far, though still need to wrap my head around some of the finer details of the powers. Definitely gives me Jojo vibes in how the powers are more complex in the sequel/s.

I realized quickly that Kenzie’s powerset is a lot like my character from my friend’s Worm campaign (which I might write more about later on). Also a surveillance/drone Tinker, though with more focus on multiple drones and material efficiency than Kenzie’s big boxes of large scale holograms and photo-distortion.

Seems the group all have their own little secrets and/or problems they need to work through. Please Vic don’t let any of them near Tattletale they would practically be a freebie for her to take down.

Ok, no Birdcage as I learned from last post. But is there, like, a dead Earth with a one way portal to toss Carol into? Is Sleeper still occupying Earth Zayin? Maybe we should send Carol there on a free vacation I hear it’s a lovely time in… whatever the effect of his power is.

Evil Robot Grocery… ok how do you even fight that. I guess it’s an S-class Threat for a reason but like what option is there other than quarantining and bombarding the entire area they’ve spread to? Do EMPs work? Put Ghost Bakuda to good use and make that Arc 6 Bomb to knock them all out?

Silly rodent themed hero. Close enough, welcome back Mouse Protector Ratcatcher. Also gonna toss her on the list of “characters I should draw some time.”

Amy Dallon finally speaks, and looks like she’s making friends! Friends that are all (at least former) supervillains! That are encouraging her down a darker path! I can only see good things happening here. A little surprised we get her this early from an Interlude rather than from a main chapter, though I suppose it does make sense to flesh her out more now rather than waiting until Victoria directly sees her again in whatever state she’s in by that point (probably a bad one).

That’s all the Ward thoughts I could think of at the moment. Will be reading more, next update hopefully won’t take 2 months again (but probably will)

[sweetnsour1]

9:36:04

Fluff, Bakugou x fem reader

Part 4 of Broken Collection

Go to the beginning

“You should really wait for break to do that.”

“But this brat wants to start a fight now.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, settling for restraining your laugh since you couldn’t stop smiling.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“He started it.” Fuck, it was pretty adorable how he was nearly bouncing in his boots. He seemed to be waiting for you to sign off on the battle before he fully committed.

“Alright, make it quick.”

He flashed that nearly frightening wide grin he had when he got too competitive. He turned back to the attendant running the booth. “Here.” He scanned his phone to cover the cost of the game for him and the kids at the rest of the seats. “You playin’ too?”

“Nah, one of us should keep working.”

You could barely see how he scrunched his nose at you through his mask. You glanced around, trying to hide your smile once again, while you made sure there wasn’t a situation in the area you could possibly be neglecting.

The bell sounded, reclaiming your attention. The water guns were firing at a row of All Mights. The goal seemed to be to knock all of his teeth down. The underage opponent was actually pretty good, but he did seem to be cheating with some kind of water quirk. Bakugou was just barely keeping the lead, already starting on the bottom row of teeth. Not long after, a siren sounded and a flashing light spun round on top of Bakugou’s All Might. The kid groaned but stood up and stomped closer.

“My winnings?”

It wasn’t often that kids were brave enough to scowl at Dynamight, but when they did it was always impressive.

“Dynamight is…the strongest.”

“And?”

The kid glared and crossed his arms over his green shirt as if to cover the eyes of the hero featured on it.

“His merch is wayyyyy cooler than Deku’s.”

Bakugou seemed unbothered by the sarcasm drenched prize he’d won.

“That’s more like it.”

He scruffed the hair of the kid as he stood, pulling out an autographed Deku card from his belt and handing it over before walking to you. He didn’t look back to see the kid’s eyes go wide or to see him run over to his friends to show them what was probably his new favorite possession.

You couldn’t remember when he had started designating pouches to signed merch from other UA grads. He might have been doing it since you guys first showed up on the cards. You wondered if he still had any of yours in there.

“What?” You paused when he did, tilting your head at him as you met his gaze.

“What what?”

“You’re starin’.”

“Sorry.”

“Didn’t say it bothered me.” You coughed at that and continued walking, knowing he’d follow. You thought about changing the subject, but didn’t want him reading too much into it.

“Just thinking about how much you’ve changed over the years.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh. You’ve gotten softer…” You didn’t have to look to know his eyebrow was raised. “…kind of.”

“Have not. I’m hard.” A surprised group of students ogled the hero as you passed by…clearly catching his choice of words. “Fuck.”

You couldn’t hold back your laughter this time. When you finally wiped the tears from your eyes, you caught sight of a very red-faced Dynamight. You took a couple deep breaths to compose yourself again before moving back along the patrol route.

“Someone is gonna get a lecture from Aizawa.” You felt the soft kick of a boot against your own as he followed behind you.

“Shut up. If I get in trouble, I’m taking you down with me.”

The writers block just vanished suddenly and now it’s causing massive floods. Sorry for harassing your feed, but it does feel good to be able to have new content to post.

Masterlist

Next part

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "unknowingly" cheating on my girlfriend?

🤍🍇 so i recognize post

preface: yes i am, theres no excuse, i just want to hear more ppl's thought because different ppl in my life have very different opinions on this??? even though i think cheating is cut and dry?

earlier this year, i (20nb, tho i was 19 at the time) was in a purely monogamous relationship with my ex (19f). there were ups and downs, i had some issues that i really shouldve talked to her about, but overall it was the best experience. id never dated anybody before. she's the only person who ive ever loved in that way. i think shes the best person, funny, smart. i was really lucky to have her.

i have another friend, who i'll call H (21f), who has been my friend for years. we're really close, and we've shared a lot with each other. i also love her deeply, though in a different, entirely platonic way. she has told me that she loves me, and has loved me in romantic ways, even though i've never reciprocated (im fine with that, everyone in my main friend group is a little bit polyamorous).

there were two main incidents that happened between me and H. the first, i didnt really understand what was going on or that it was entirely wrong. we were cuddling, which i do with all of my friends, and she started getting really into it and getting on top of me. she asked if she could kiss me (on the lips) and i said no, partly because, well, i had a monogamous partner, and partly because i hate kissing on the lips. i probably shouldve entirely cut it off at that moment. my only excuse (which is pretty flimsy) is that, im kinda aroace so physical affection and the difference between platonic and romantic have always left me a little confused. i kinda thought this was normal, especially because H is polyamorous and in several relationships that heavily blur the lines between platonic and romantic.

then, about two weeks after that, H and i hung out again, but this time we were smoking marijuana. weed makes me highly suggestible and also incapable of remembering anything past about five seconds. not that im blaming the drugs, just describing the situation. basically, H and i were cuddling again when she decided to move on top of me and got flirty, with a lot of touching sensitive places for the purpose of getting a reaction (all above the belt). i went along with this because i respect H, ive known her for a long time, and i didnt want to say no to her. again, not an excuse, because she didnt force me to do it.

in the moment, i didnt think this was cheating. we werent doing anything explicitly sexual, we weren't making out, but we were definitely frisky and i know H was horny at the time. a couple hours later, when i sobered up, i suddenly realized what we had done and asked H if i had just cheated on my girlfriend. she also seemed to realize what had just happened and we agreed that i had cheated, that it was entirely wrong, and we should never do it again.

i decided to tell my ex about this immediately, because i thought she should know. i asked if she was in a position to hear bad news, and when she was, i was completely honest. she obviously didnt take it well, mentioning how she felt like she could never trust me again despite being the person she trusted most in the world. she loved me but this was unacceptable and a huge violation. i agreed, and after a bit of thinking, i told her that i thought we should break up. i had terrible guilt about what i'd done and assumed that we'd never recover, and it didnt seem like she could pull the plug, so i did.

she proceeded to get even more mad at me because of this, which in hindsight is completely understandable. from her perspective, i had just dropped two emotional bombs on her, and maybe i was implying that i liked H more than her. i wasnt, and i dont, but i know why it came across that way.

my other friends agreed with me that i shouldve broken up with her after that. in hindsight, i dont know if it was the right choice. i miss her dearly and wish i had worked more on the relationship.

we've since talked about it. i told her that i still loved her (bc i do, very deeply, and i dont know if i'll ever get over her) but said that i dont expect anything, dont expect a relationship, etc. she was okay with this because, in her words, she trusts me to not make it a big deal or awkward. we hang out frequently now, we watch anime together, and we get along well as friends. i feel so lucky that she is willing to spend time with me, that she still enjoys my company even a little bit.

the confusing part is that i told my dad about this and he basically said, "you were 19yo in a long distance, online-only relationship. this was inevitable and you shouldnt feel too bad about it. it was wrong but not the worst thing ever." i dont really agree with that, because it was a pretty serious relationship despite being online. we even met up at a convention and spent several nights together in a hotel. it was the happiest weekend of my life. i thought i could marry her maybe someday. and i dont think being 19yo justifies it. 13yo maybe, but i was old enough to know right from wrong, even if my knowledge about romantic and sexual relationships was underdeveloped.

basically, im looking for nuanced opinions. i fully expect the results to be YTA. im hoping ppl can give me any sort of insight in the comments.

PS: H is partially to blame bc she knew i was in a monogamous relationship but please dont hate on her too much in the comments, we've had a lot of talks about this and what happened drastically changed the way the both of us see relationships and each other. basically, she learned her lesson and she was never trying to be a bitch or a homewrecker. i know her well enough to know shes a good person at heart. she's also not on tumblr to see any of your comments. direct all of you criticism towards me, please.

What are these acronyms?

[callhermyname]

you're not going | eddie munson x reader, pt. 1

summary: basically the same plot of s4 ep.1; you see Eddie and Chrissy at the picnic table and get the wrong idea.

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 5.2k

warnings: MDNI!!; reader is bisexual; tiny bit of fluff, but mostly angst; Robin being the ADHD poster girl she is; crying, mentions of blood, assault, child abuse; THIS IS A STRANGER THINGS S4 REWRITE, I DID NOT CAME UP WITH THE STORYLINE!! let me know if i missed something.

a/n: this is part 1 of my stranger things s4 rewrite, so if you want to read more, you can help me by liking and rebloging this post, following my blog and telling me if you like it! If you haven't read the prologue, you can read it here. also, excuse any grammar errors, english is not my first language.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You've all been through a lot. After Will went missing, a couple weeks after you met Eddie, your life has never been the same, and probably will never be. Your first year at Hawkins High was hard after all the shit that went down, and you were closer to the other teens and the kids now, but you really wished you could talk to Eddie about it. You felt like he would understand.

The year after that was a little better, all things considered. After Nancy dumped Steve and he and Dustin became… friends (i guess?), you and Steve got really close too, so no one dared to talk shit about you like they used to — they knew better than to upset the girl Steve Harrington treated as a sister. When Steve and Robin started working together, the three of you became peas in a pod (especially after Robin ended up learning about the upside down and El and all that). She was your best friend, someone you could talk to about anything, and she could talk to you about anything too. When she came out to you, you felt like you could also come out to her (as bissexual) and with that you, her and Steve became best totally platonic friends.

—

"Dustin, for fucks sake, Steve has been honking outside for 10 minutes, we're gonna be late, what the fuck are you doing in there?" you banged at your cousin's bedroom door.

"Don't come in! I'm naked!" he yells back.

"You know what? We're not doing this again, I'm not losing my ride because of you, you can bike to school." you grabbed your backpack and headed out the door.

Swearing at Dustin under your breath, you make your way to the backseat of Steve's car.

"What took you so long?" Steve looked back at you "Wait, where's the little butthead?"

"He's probably talking to his girlfriend, I don't care. If he's gonna be late, he can be late. I'm not losing my ride."

"Looks like someone's in a mood today huh?" Robin teased you as Steve started the car.

"Nah, the little shit might get on my nerves but you two always end up cheering me up. Unless Steve starts talking about whatever girl he's taking out this weekend, then I'd rather just eat a handful of broken glass."

"Oh my god, that's EXACTLY what he's been doing since I got in the goddamn car!" Robin turns back to look at you, holding her hands up to her ears "If i have to listen to him talk about having sex with Linda for one more second i swear to god-"

"Heidi! I was talking about Heidi! How can you complain about me talking about something you're not even listening to?"

You just can't help but laugh at them arguing like an old married couple. You love them so much it almost hurts.

"At least I'm actually doing something with my dating life, unlike the both of you." he said in a sarcastic tone.

For the next five minutes he and Robin went back and forth about how she can't just ask Vicky out and how she definitely should ask Vicky out because of the whole "people who like boobies" thing. You space out for a second and snap your head as you hear Eddie's name.

"What about Eddie?" you ask, trying to get back to the conversation.

"See?" Robin snaps "One second she's totally inside her own little head and as soon as someone mentions him she starts paying attention. How does that not qualify as having the most heart-wrecking massive crush on someone?"

"Shut up!" you bite back, trying to defend yourself, but obviously failing, because she was right.

"Ladies, ladies! Calm down, there's no reason to get feisty. You're BOTH chickening out, not asking Vicky and Eddie out. Though I actually see where Robin"s coming from."

"Steve, c'mon-" you try yet again to tell him you're not chickening out, but he doesn't want to hear it again.

"No! Look, you listen to me, how on earth do you manage to take down three military trained Russians and still be afraid to ask him out?"

"It's not that simple!" you frown, now starting to feel like a little girl pouting over your parents giving you a lecture.

"Yeah, sure," Robin snorts "you only hang out alone with him pretty much every day to help him study so he can finally graduate"

"You know what?" you snap at them "I don't have to justify my non-existent love life to either one of you. I'm just gonna keep pretending I don't have feelings for him. Who knows, maybe he'll ask me out? That's a possibility!"

"Okay, okay. We'll drop it." Steve says, lifting his hands from the wheel for a second, in surrender.

"We just care about you, babe" Robin follows his lead "You know that, right?"

"I do."

— 

You and Robin sit at your regular cafeteria table, a couple tables away from the designated Hellfire Club table, where Eddie is yelling at Dustin and Mike about something, making it a little hard to listen to what Robin is talking to you about.

"Seriously, I'm really worried about Max. I mean, we all know she's been depressed since Billy… y'know. But she was way off today at the pep rally, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess" Max was to you what Dustin was to Steve, something between a friend and the little sister you never had. "I've been begging her to talk to me, to tell me if there's something I can do, but she just won't-"

You lose your train of thought when you see Eddie climb up the table, walk across it, jump off it and yell nonsense around the cafeteria.

"God, he's really worked up today, huh?" Robin says, turning her head back to look at Eddie's little scene.

"I wonder what Dustin and Mike were talking to him about. He threw at least five mini pretzels at each one of them while he was yapping about something." you chuckle and roll your eyes when he catches you looking at his performance and gives you a smile and a quick wink. "He's kinda funny when he gets mad at them."

"Funny. Right." Robin turns her head back to look at you. "You obviously think he's just funny, not cute or anything else."

"Dude, you said you'd drop it!"

"I'm sorry!" she giggles "It's just hilarious when your cheeks turn all red just because he smiled at you. You look so silly!"

You watch as Eddie pulls Dustin and Mike by the collar of their Hellfire shirts and pushes them away from the table, both of them running off the cafeteria like they're in a rush. Eddie turns around and walks towards you.

"Okay, now shut the fuck up. He's coming our way."

Eddie heads towards you with slow dramatic steps, leaning over and resting his elbows on the end of the table, an evil grin on his face. 

"Hey ladies. Whatcha talkin 'bout?"

"Nothing much," you turn to face him, now with a playful little smirk of your own. "just watching you make a fool of yourself yet again. Quite the show you got going on there."

He gasps, spreading his palm over his chest, like he's offended by you calling him a fool.

"A fool? How dare you. And yes, thank you for recognizing my performing talents. It is one of my many gifts, as you know."

"Sure do", you remember the days long D&D sessions you attended when you used to be a part of the Hellfire Club. His theatrics flooding the room as he masters his most diabolical campaigns, standing up on his wooden carved throne and emphatically yelling the lines he'd written and planned for weeks, his voice echoing the drama club room, his eyes round and wide sparkling at the dim light as he smiles with pride over one of the only things he actually felt like he was good at.

"We miss you at the club, y'know?" his voice snaps you out of your trance. He sounds almost sad.

"Yeah, I miss you guys too. But you know, I really needed the job at Family Video." Now you sound sad too. "It's a shame my shifts are not scheduled as Robin and Steve's. Can't even make plans without risking the odds of a last minute shift."

"Study sesh still up today after class right?" he quirks a brow.

"Sure!" you try not to sound too excited, but judging by the look Robin gives you, it seems like you failed.

"Great! It's a date then." he flashes you a big smile, giving you a quick kiss at the top of your head. "Thanks sweetheart, you're the best. See ya later!"

With that, he turns around to get back to the Hellfire table. Robin looks at you with something that looks a lot like pity in her eyes. "Ouch. That 's gotta hurt."

"A little." you shrug. "But it's okay, I guess. Better than not having him around."

"Oh, for the love of GOD, just ask him out already!" she says, a little too loud.

"Sure. When you ask Vicky."

"Hm. Touché, I guess."

—

You were walking out the door, headed to your and Eddie's usual study session spot at the picnic table in the woods, when Dustin and Mike approached you.

"What are you doing tonight?" Dustin asked.

"Uh… I don't know, maybe watching the game? Robin is playing with the band and Steve is taking his date, so I'll probably just tag along with them after we get off work. Why?"

"We need a sub for Lucas at the end of Eddie's campaign tonight." Mike explained. "Can you come?"

"Pleeeeeease?" Dustin begged, before you could even think about the question. "I'll clean your room for the whole spring break!"

"Dustin, you don't even clean your room. My room is always tidy, there's no way you can make it cleaner than it already is."

"I'll do the dishes everytime my mom asks you to do it! I'll clean the cat's litter box! You name it, I'll do it. Just… please?"

You couldn't help but laugh. Dustin was offering to do all those things for you, when you'd actually join them for free. Getting to hang out with Eddie was already enough to get you to agree to fill in for Lucas, but the extra bribe from your cousin sure was welcome. 

"Okay, fine. But hey, no telling your mom about our deal okay? You know she does not like it when you take care of any of the cat related chores. She knows the cat's terrified of you."

"Deal!" he jumped up and down like an excited little kid. "Thank you thank you thank youuuu!", his voice slowly faded away while he ran to wherever else he was going to now, Mike following shortly after him.

You made your way through the woods, even though you knew you were a little early. You always liked to be at the picnic table a little before Eddie, to set up your textbooks and make a checklist of all the topics you'd be helping him with that day. You wouldn't consider yourself very smart, but you always got good grades at history and literature, so Eddie asked you if you could help him study. He really wanted to graduate this year, and part of you hoped it was because he would get to graduate with you. He always talked about how school would suck even more if you weren't there anymore, so you decided to take a little of your time out of school and work to help him — not only for his sake, but also because it is the only time you get to be alone with him, close to him. God, you feel pathetic.

As you get closer to the spot, you hear his laugh. At first you're confused, because he never gets there before you and as far as you knew, he had no idea you'd always be there at least 15 minutes before him. Also, why was he laughing by himself in the middle of the woods? He usually only gets high after you're done studying, so you assume he's not high, which makes it even weirder. Before you could get close enough to ask him what was so funny that got him laughing like an idiot by himself in the middle of the woods, you hear another laugh. A girls laugh.

Silently, you walk slowly towards the picnic table, trying not to be seen. When you get close enough to see them without them seeing you, you recognise who he's laughing with. It's Chrissy Cunningham. You feel your heart drop as you watch him trying to make her laugh, the same way he always makes you laugh. What the hell is happening here? You can't quite understand what they're saying without coming a little closer to them, but you don't wanna risk getting caught, so you just watch as Eddie jumps and claps his hands and Chrissy laughs at his dramatic reaction at whatever it was she'd said to him.

You know you shouldn't feel this jealous, he wasn't your boyfriend or anything like that — hell, you couldn't even gather the courage to tell him how you feel —, and you knew Chrissy, she was a very sweet girl. She was always nice to you, even when the other cheerleaders would call you names and stick bubblegum to your hair, she was always the one to tell them to shut up and teach you a few beauty hacks in the bathroom to get the gum out of your hair without having to cut it off. But maybe that was exactly the point. She was so pretty, and so nice, you wouldn't stand a chance against her.

As Eddie turned around and playfully punched the tree behind him, you caught a glimpse of a small gathering of tiny wildflowers resting by Chrissy's side, at the bench she was sitting on — wildflowers like the ones that grow near his trailer. Did he get her flowers? Did he HANDPICK flowers? For her? —, and you feel a knot forming on your throat. He pulled at the neck of his shirt, exposing his chest tattoo and you felt your eyes filling up with tears. What was that about? Was he flirting with her?

Even though you knew it was not a good idea, you took a few steps closer, quietly, so you could hear the conversation.

"You should come see us!" you hear him say. "We play at the Hideout on Tuesdays, it's pretty cool. We actually get a crowd of about… five drunks."

You feel the hot tears start to roll down your face. You always try to go see him play at the Hideout whenever you can. You've been there the past three weeks watching them play. Why is he talking about it like no one watching them is actually important? Like you're not important?

"You know, you're not how I thought you'd be like." Chrissy laughs.

"Mean and scary?" he replies.

That was enough for you. It's not like he was doing anything wrong, but it felt like someone had punched you at your stomach. It hurts to see him treating some other girl the same way he treated you, the way you thought he treated you because he liked you, because he might like you back. You tried to not make much noise as you turned around and followed back the path you came from. There was no way you could sit and study with him like you were not heartbroken.

—

"Chrissy Cunningham?" Steve asked, still not quite believing what you'd just told them. "As in Jason Carver's little princess of Hawkins High cheerleader girlfriend Chrissy Cunningham?"

"Yes." you assured.

"Are you sure it was her?" Robin asked, also in disbelief.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Heard her voice, saw her face. It was definitely her."

"Shit, that sucks, I'm sorry." Robin tries to comfort you, reaching a hand to tap your shoulder.

"What the hell was she doing with him anyways?" Steve questions. "Doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

"Maybe she was buying some weed?" 

"Robin, c'mon." you chuckle, sadly. "Chrissy Cunningham? Buying weed? Be fucking serious."

"Yeah Robin, I hate to say it but it makes absolutely no sense." Steve agrees.

The three of you stay silent for a little too long and you feel your friends' eyes on you, looking at you with pity, and you hate it. Finally, after a few more seconds (that actually felt like hours), the silence is broken when the phone at the Video Family counter starts to ring. Robin walks away to pick up the phone and you feel Steve's arms wrapped around you.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier today in the car," he says. "I know I was a little too pushy and I know you're not chickening out. I know you're just afraid to get rejected, and us teasing you about it was not okay. I'm sorry about what happened too, with Chrissy and all. For what it's worth I still think there's probably a good explanation for it. I bet it'll be okay."

You hold back your sobs as you lean into your best friend's shoulder, trying not to stain his clothes with your tears. Even though you're still hurting, a good old bear hug from Steve always makes you feel better, like he squeezes together all of your broken pieces back into place.

"Hey, listen…" you feel Robin tap on your shoulder and you raise your head from Steve's chest. "Eddie's on the phone. He wants to talk to you."

Shit. 

"Tell him I'm not here!"

"Yeah I kinda already told him you were here, that's not gonna work."

"Shit. Fine."

You walk over to the phone and pick it up, both Robin and Steve following you to the front counter.

"Hello?"

"Hey, thank god I found you!" he sighs, relieved. "What the hell happened? I waited for you for like, half an hour and you didn't show up so I got worried because you're never late so I went looking for you but I couldn't find you anywhere," he rambles, like he does when he's nervous "so I- I went home and called your place but your aunt said you weren't there and I didn't know where else to call so I figured you were at work? Oh thank god you're there I was about to call the cops!"

"Yeah sorry about that, I was uh…" you look over at Robin and Steve, trying to come up with an excuse about why you didn't meet him like you'd planned earlier. "I- Robin! Robin had uh… band practice for the uh- tonight's the championship game so she asked me to fill in for her, sorry I forgot to tell you I was not gonna make it."

"But… wasn't that Robin who just picked up the phone?" he sounds confused. You look back and see Robin facepalming her forehead and Steve rubbing the bridge of his nose between his index and his thumb, shaking his head. Shit. You suck at lying. 

"Yes- yeah. She uh, she was at band practice but now she's here, she actually just got here. Yeah."

"Oh okay…" 

"Yeah, listen Eddie I gotta go now, talk to you later, bye!" you slam the phone back at the receiver, hanging up.

"Well, that went… well…?" Steve forces a smile.

"Sure!" Robin holds both of her thumbs up, also trying to look like she didn't think you just dealt with the situation in the worst way possible.

"Yeah sure. I'm gonna go home so I can cry in the bathroom now, I guess. Peace out." you said as you walked out the door. 

When you got home, you remembered you'd agreed to fill in as a sub for Lucas at Hellfire. Of course you did. Because you're just a stupid dumb piece of shit who couldn't pass any opportunity to follow Eddie around like a little puppy. So, you go looking for Dustin around the house to tell him you wouldn't make it to Hellfire, only to find out he's not home. You figured he's probably at Mike's, so you call the Wheelers'. 

"Hello?" Nancy picks up the phone after two rings.

"Nancy! Hey, is Dustin there? He's not home, I figured he'd be at your place with Mike?"

"Oh, hey! Yeah, they're upstairs, I'll go get him for you."

"Thanks Nance, I-" you got cut off by her screaming on the other end of the line.

"MIKE! PHONE FOR DUSTIN!" you hear her call. "So, you going to the game tonight? It's been a while since the last time we went out, we should do something after the game, I miss you!"

"Yeah, I miss you too!" you tell her. And you mean it. It's really been a while since the last time you two did something together. "I'm actually going to spend the night at Robin's tho. We can go to the movies tomorrow, maybe?"

"Sure! I can pick you up at 5, what do you think?"

"Sounds great, I'll see you then!"

"Great! Oh, here 's Dustin. See you at the game tonight!"

"See ya!"

"Hey, what do you mean you'll be at the game? Thought you were gonna come with us to Hellfire tonight" the other line now shifts to Dustin's voice.

"Yeah, about that, I'm not going anymore. Sorry."

"What? Why?"

"Something came up. Maybe you could ask Erica?"

"Erica? You know Eddie 's gonna lose his shit if I take her as a sub for Lucas."

"Yeah, I know, but it's her or nothing. Sorry, Dusty. I'll make it up to you okay? I promise."

"Fine. But you owe me one!"

"Big time, I know. Gotta go now, take care okay? See you after the game."

"Yeah, see ya." 

You felt bad about letting Dustin down. You really did. But you also knew you wouldn't last that much at Hellfire without crying, and that would be even worse.

After an hour or so of crying your eyes out, you decided to do your makeup. Even though you were feeling like absolute shit, you knew you couldn't look like absolute shit, and you usually get a boost of self esteem after getting your makeup done, and god knows you could use that right now. So, after spending half an hour doing your eyeliner on each eye, you changed into your jeans and your favorite little tank top, put on your old school black Vans, grabbed some random jacket that was hanging at the back of your chair and left to watch the game.

"Aunt Claudia?" you yelled from the front door, almost forgetting to tell her you were leaving.

"Yes honey?" she yelled back from her bedroom.

"I'm leaving to watch the championship game, probably will spend the night at Robin's, okay? You don't have to wait up for me." 

"Okay honey, have fun and be safe okay?" 

"Will do, see you tomorrow!" 

At the game, you sat right next to the band, Robin was right by your side and Steve was with his date a couple of rows back. You didn't really care for the game, you just needed to… not be alone. You and Robin had plans to go to her place after the game and watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the tenth time in the last few months so you could get Eddie out of your head. Before the game started, you watched as Chrissy and the other cheerleaders danced and jumped around the gym and couldn't help it when your eyes flooded up with tears again. As you tried to get yourself together, you felt Robin's hand on your shoulder.

"You okay?"

"Yeah just… fuck, I can't even hate her, she's the sweetest girl on the cheer squad."

Before Robin could say anything, everyone was standing up for the national anthem. And then you saw Tammy Thompson walking towards the mic to SING the national anthem. You held back laughter as you looked at Robin and then turned around to look at Steve, both of their jaws dropped.

"No way." Robin muttered, as she took turns looking at you, Tammy and Steve, not knowing exactly where to look at. As Tammy started to sing, you felt your eyes flood again, but this time, it was not because of Eddie or the thought of him with Chrissy, but because you were trying so hard not to laugh. She sounded exactly like a muppet.

"Oh my god I want to rip my ears out" you manage to let out without bursting into laughter.

"I told you. Muppet." you could see Steve mouthing over to Robin.

"Okay, she does sound like a muppet." Robin admits.

"Oh my god she does kinda sound like a muppet" you hear Vicky say in a low voice.

You watch as Robin and Vicky laugh at each other's jokes, until Robin lets her ADHD get the best out of her and starts talking faster than her brain's working. Even though she talks too fast sometimes, you think it's cute how she gets nervous around Vicky. They would make such a cute couple. 

After the game, you approach Lucas, giving him a tight hug. 

"That was absolutely crazy, Lucas! You just took the ball and threw it like it was nothing and then we were like 'oh god is he gonna score?' and then you DID i swear i don't think I'll ever understand how you did that so quickly, like you just-" Robin rambled, as she held her hands up, like she was tossing a basketball through the hoop. 

"That was insane, man. Really, you're a natural." Steve said like the proud mama he is to the kids. 

"Thanks guys. I-" Lucas started, but you heard someone call out to him.

"Hey Sinclair, you coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there!" he yelled back. "Look guys, I gotta go. But thank you so much for coming. It meant a lot to me."

The three of you smiled as he left to follow after whoever it was that called him. After a second, Robin turned to Steve.

"Hey, where's Heidi?"

"That's Brenda, Robin."

"Yeah, sure, sorry. Where's Brenda?"

"She uh…" he looked back at the crowd leaving the gym, like he was looking for someone. "She ditched me, okay? She left to talk to Tammy Thompson and then came back to tell me she was going to Tammy's to catch up or something like that."

"Ouch, ditched for Tammy Thompson?" Robin said, following Steve as he started to walk back to his car.

"Again?" you look over at Robin, the both of you laughing — not in a mean way, but playful, like the three of you always were.

"Ha ha, very funny." Steve bites back, sarcastic. "Any more jokes and the two of you are walking home."

As you walk over to Steve's car, you watch as Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire Club emerge from the drama club room, victorious. He waves at you, but you pretend you don't see it, turning over to Dustin, who's walking up to you.

"Hey, can I join you guys? Eddie said he's gotta go straight to his place tonight, so he can't drive me home."

"Steve's dropping us at Robin's, I'm spending the night out. But maybe Nancy can take you home?" 

"Oh, okay. Sure, I'll talk to Mike. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow. Night, Dusty!" you give him a hug and kiss the top of his head, watching as he runs off to catch up to Mike.

You turn around to Robin and Steve, puzzled look on your face. Eddie always takes Dustin home after Hellfire, why couldn't he take him home tonight?

You get in Steve's car and you exit the school's parking lot. You see Eddie's van a little ahead out the parking lot, where he always parks when he's doing a deal or up to something shady. As Steve drives past the van, you see Eddie holding the door open for Chrissy to hop in.

"What the fuck?" you say, maybe a little louder than you intended.

Steve and Robin turn to look at the direction your eyes were headed, also looking at Eddie as he closes the passenger door and Chrissy turns to reach for the seatbelt (and you think to yourself she probably won't find the seatbelt, because Eddie's van has no seatbelts).

"Oh shit." Robin mutters as she turns her head back to look at the van, now behind Steve's moving car.

"Hey uh…" Steve tries to get your attention. "don't- try not to think too much about it, it's probab-"

"I wanna go home." you cut him off.

"You sure?" Robin asks. "I already have the Rocky Horror VHS with me, we can watch Blade Runner too, I forgot to take it back to the store last week and I know you love it so maybe-"

"Please just-" you cut her off too. "I wanna go home. Please, take me home." you can feel your voice trembling and tears already running down your cheeks.

"Okay, it's okay." Steve talks in a soft voice, trying to calm you down. "We'll take you home."

The ride to your house is awkwardly silent, but you don't really care enough to be bothered by it. Your head hurts and your heart sinks to your stomach at the thought of Eddie taking Chrissy home. Not only because of your feelings for him (though, mostly because of it), but also because Chrissy is Jason's girlfriend. You know what Jason would do to Eddie if he finds out about this. It wouldn't be the first time Eddie gets beaten up by Jason and the rest of his party, and even though Eddie always came back laughing about his black eye, spitting blood and limping, you knew he'd spend the next few nights sleeping at the back of his van, so Wayne doesn't see him covered in bruises — so Wayne doesn't see him looking the same way he looked when his father dropped him off at the trailer and never came back to pick him up. You know he can take care of himself, you know he's strong enough to throw a punch or two, but  you couldn't stand the thought of him spending his days alone at the back of his van, not being able to see anyone because school was off. The whole situation made your heart ache.

As Steve pulls over in front of your house, you feel two pairs of eyes on you.

"You sure you'll be okay?" Robin asks, concerned.

"I'll be fine. I just need a little time, that's all. Thank you guys, for taking care of me. Sorry about the buzzkill. Get home safe, okay? I love you." you opened the door and climbed out of the car.

"We love you too. Call us if you need anything, yeah?" Steve says leaning over the car window.

"I will, I promise."

You open the door, hoping aunt Claudia was already asleep and that Dustin wasn't home yet. You tiptoe your way to your room and close the door, throwing yourself at the bed, not even bothering changing into your pajamas. Stuffing your face in your pillow, you cry yourself to sleep, hoping it was all a bad dream, but knowing it wasn't.

[drconstellation]

Chiastic Structure of S1

Here it is!

Yes, I deliberately made it detailed. You NEED to see the detail, it is, quite frankly, eye-opening in parts.

If the image I have posted is not clear, let me know, and I'll post a broken-down version in sections so you can read it. I'm just not sure how this is going to work.

I've got five footnotes for various sections where I want to make extra comments, so see them below.

If you don't know why some of us are looking into this - a chiastic structure or pattern a literary device where a sequence of events is presented then repeated in reverse order. For a complicated story like Good Omens this can and does gives us some interesting insights into the hidden stories we meta writers like to speculate on and discuss.

I have to admit it got a bit messy in places, so there still might be some tweaking to do in the middle parts.

The plain parallels still exist - I have a couple to mention in the footnotes. I'm also very excited about taking this challenge on because I've basically found proof that backs up my theory about the scene at Tadfield Manor telling part of the story of the Great War in Heaven, and also proof that the Flood may have been the time of their first "vavoom."

[1] M-pair: When Newt turns up to his new job there is an office meeting called and the upcoming "training initiative" is discussed. This then leads on to the paintball fight at Tadfield Manor. I discussed how the two scenes give us an insight into the past and the Great War in two metas, The Great War of Tadfield Manor, and The Newton/Crowley Mirror-Parallel in S1. The mirror-pair here is Dagon is rousing the troops with reminders of the "Glorious Revolution," providing us with a direct connection to the events of Tadfield Manor.

[2] Q-pair: This is a really interesting pair, as as it is still tied in with Tadfield Manor. Does it give us any insights into Crowley's role in the Great War and his Fall? I'll be looking more closely at this in the future!

[3] There is an interesting set of parallels around this area that didn't quite fit into the chiastic structure proper that I though was worth mentioning and I have already flagged for a meta before I had finished plotting this out. It's to do with Newt and Anathema and the prophecies in the book - oh, and the Velvet underground reference. Actually, I really need more space for that...you'll have to wait for the meta, sorry.

[4] Ohhh yeah. This one. The Vavoom moment. I wondered if the sex under the bed between Newt and Anathema would reveal anything. It certainly did! If you haven't read @vidavalor's meta about the first time they probably kissed, then you should. Stat! This pair backs it up - and maybe more.

[5] There is a parallel noted here that doesn't fit in the structure, that Crowley signs to start everything rolling, and Aziraphale signs to end it.

On to S2. Then I'll see if I can work a three-series structure together for some predictions.

Link to S2 Chiastic Structure Post.

@aprilodite @kayleefansposts @ineffable-endearments @sendarya

[momowoah]

Okay but I really think that the worst part is that this is season seven. Unless they're planning to turn 9-1-1 into the new Grey's Anatomy the chances of us being already in the final half of the show are huge. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any drama, but the characters should've started to go forward, and yet nearly all of them feel stuck in the same place they have been for several seasons. Or should I say 2-3 seasons?

tldr: all/most S7 storylines were either useless in the long run or recycles. The only characters who had storylines on the good side of the scale (as in, they helped the characters develop and move to a new place in their lives) were Maddie and Chimney (and maybe Buck but he's on thin ice). All the characters are back to the same place they were in s4/s5. It's probably TM's fault. This shouldn't be happening in a 7th season.

(really long post under the cut but worth it imo)

Bobby and Athena had a whole seven episodes for their storylines and yet it didn't significantly change anything about them or their relationship. The doubts of how they are when they're at peace that were brought up in ep1 ended up not being addressed at all. We started the season with what was supposed to be this huge thing in their relationship and it was just never brought up again! Instead they put bathena through distress again just for the sake of being dramatic. And while I'm extremely glad we got Amir and think there were several high points in his storyline, what difference did it make in the long run? Yes, it brought up interesting things to Bobby's storyline, such as more insight into his childhood and the chance for him to explore another side of the fire he caused, but is it going to change anything? No! Bobby will be reinstated in S8 bc that's just how these things go, and I doubt they'll put any effort to continue the survivors storyline. I'd bet it'll just be ignored in the next seasons.

Hen and Karen have been trying for YEARS AND YEARS to adopt a child and they just can't let them! As a wlw, do you know how awful that is to watch? Seeing them fail time and time again and have their family broken up once again just because??? It was one thing with Nia, she got a happy ending, but that wasn't the case with Mara. The best thing for everyone involved would be for her to stay with Hen and Karen, but they blew it up. I know she's with Madney, but it's not the fucking same. Why do they have to go through this again? Why can't they finally get the family they've spent years fighting for? Why can't the drama be about anything else, why does it have to be about failed adoptions? I've seen this enough times before. Why not let them be able to adopt???? Why? I'm genuinely upset abt this btw, probably more than about anything else that went down.

Buck got to finally come out and it was great but instead of taking it as an opportunity to let him grow into himself they just threw him right back into the hamster wheel of dating people who are either not fully into him or who he's not fully into. (if you like bt probably skip the rest of this paragraph but I'd also be upset about how they're handling them if I liked the ship bc I liked the previous bt and they did something similar to them lol) Tommy's behavior could be explained away at first, but I feel like time and time again the show goes the extra mile to make him uninterested in Buck or just straight up an asshole to him? Instead of taking the small opportunities of portraying them as a healthy happy couple they just consistently screw up their relationship? They're not the couple I support but even then I wanted them to be good together bc I want Buck to be happy, and yet all we get is this?

I don't even have words about Eddie, especially considering what rg has said about him destroying his life and possibly reverting back to military no emotions mode next season. WHY CAN'T HE BE HAPPY? We already saw him break down, WE'VE ALREADY HAD A STORYLINE ABOUT HIM REBUILDING HIS LIFE, but happiness is boring so now he has to ruin his relationship with his son too right? It just pisses me off how they go about his character sometimes. I liked that they were bringing back the Shannon storyline because he was supposed to be able to finally move on, but this wasn't about that. No, it was about retraumatizing Eddie and Chris and splitting them up at a time when they should be leaning on each other and healing, because Chris has also been suffering with the Shannon stuff. We saw it in fucking ep 1. Don't even get me started on the Marisol stuff because idek why she was there at all. Literally don't get it. We had an off-screen breakup anyways. She wasn't relevant at all to anything that happened. Why was she even there? I'm genuinely asking. The only Eddie arc that has some positive potential for next season is him dealing with his relationship with religion (especially if they tie it to the military and the way he lives his life for others' expectations), but tbh I don't trust them not to fuck it up.

Finally, I don't have complaints about madney, except for why tf was Maddie so absent this season? The wedding episode was all about Chimney (who was also maybe kinda missing tbh), and although I love him and his backstory and the opportunity to see Kevin again, I really wanted it to be about their relationship, since it was their wedding, yk. Dispatch was also severely under utilized. We did get the 7x07 Maddie plotline and it might've been bc it was a shortened season but yeah, I'm still not that satisfied.

So, we have all the characters stuck in places they've been before. More specifically, in the place they were in season 4/5. Bathena relationship problems followed by a life threatening situation? Check. Henren struggling with adoption? Check. Buck getting into what was supposed to be a good relationship only for it to end up going really bad? Check. Eddie struggling with relationships and his mental health going to hell? Check. Madney in a good place with a new child and about to have an awful fucking time? Hopefully just check for the first part. And you know which question this makes me ask? It's whether Tim Minear is just reverting everyone to their s4 state out of spite for the seasons he was away. And even if it is a genuine attempt at getting the show back on the track he wanted out of good intentions, it still sucks, because it doesn't change the fact that it is just a repeat of old storylines. I actually complained at this before the show even aired, but (iirc) I ended up deleting my post because I thought that I was just overreacting. Guess what? I fucking wasn't, bc that's EXACTLY what they did.

Now, going back to the start of this post, the reason why all these storylines suck so much is not that they are bad. It's not even that they aren't original. No, it's the fact that we're doing storylines that belong in the fourth or fifth season of a show in its seventh season. Even the Gerrard plotline, which is new to 9-1-1, feels like it came too late, because the split up crew/villain captain storyline tends to happen much sooner in procedurals, and for a reason. Besides the fact that this was never really a big bad type of show and I don't get why they are making it one all of a sudden, and ignoring the fact that Gerrard being brought back as captain, especially to the 118 of all places, makes no fucking sense, that kind of plotline is one that it's obviously always temporary. No one believes he'll still be the captain by the end of 8A, much less by the end of the season. He'll hardly survive the first 3-5 episodes. That's ultimately a filler storyline. It helps the show go on for longer, it might even help in the development of a couple characters, but at the end of the day it doesn't change anything, which appears to be a recurring theme when it comes to 9-1-1 storylines.

The reason I have a problem with this is that we don't need a filler storyline, because no one knows whether the show has the luxury of taking its sweet time. Yeah, it has a huge audience and it is doing good numbers, but it is still a fucking money pit that was already cancelled once and it's unsustainable on the long run. It might not end that soon, but is it honestly going to reach season 14? Does anyone truly think that we've only seen half of it (or less) so far? Because I don't. Not many shows make it that far, and there's a reason for that. We have three huge names who are extremely important to the show. What happens if they get tired? What happens if someone gets a better offer? What happens if we're still revisiting old storylines when that happens? Do we get an incomplete story or a rushed one?

The show should be moving forward, even if there are no plans for it to end soon. We have the drama of the huge disasters 9-1-1 loves. We have the drama of the cases. We have a myriad of new possible dramatic storylines for the characters that show development without being too final. Athena could have so many different job related storylines (from moving up in her career to abandoning it), and her and Bobby's storyline from the beginning of the season about being boring together can be played in a good and dramatic line. Henren and Madney have a whole world of parenting issues that they could go through. Buck and Eddie both still need either an endgame love interest (whether it's each other or not) or to get to the point where they are fine not having one, and we have all of the relationship trouble that comes with that. This show can give us new things, storylines that are good for the characters, without losing the dramatic factor (which, if I'm being honest, would not be a deal breaker for me). Yet, it refuses to, and probably not for a good reason, because it comes down to either Tim wanting to rewrite history or just trying to drag this show for as long as possible (which apparently he only knows how to do by refusing to make the characters happy). And you know what? I'm fucking mad about it, and I think you should be too.

Btw, this is not to say the whole season sucked. We got Madney and Henren together multiple times which was great. We finally got Bi Buck. There were several amazing acting moments for both the main and recurring actors. As a standalone season, it was good. It just doesn't work when you look at the bigger picture.

[cheeseceli]

House of Cards

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong × Gn!reader

Genre: angst, idol!au, short drabble

Prompt: "A house made of cards and stupidly us inside. Even if you say it's a useless dream, just stay a little more like this"

Warnings: no happy ending

A/n: this was enough to break even me who was writing ngl. I really hope you like it <3 | join the 1k event

When Hongjoong first met you, he thought he created a palace.

You were each other's safe place. No matter what in the outside world could break the walls of said palace. And it was beautiful. Your love would remind him of gardens full of life, of ballrooms filled with music and laughter. It was a love all yours.

However, time would soon show Hongjoong that what he thought was a resilient castle was actually a house of cards. No matter how incredible it looked or how big it seemed to be, it would be fragile no matter what.

He should've been more careful. He knew that even the weakest of breezes could bring his house of cards down, but he forgot it. It looked so great, so permanent, that he didn't look around for any threats, and neither did you.

That's how they found out. The media, the company, the fans... Suddenly everyone knew that the idol Y/n was dating the leader of Ateez. Photos leaked, by God knows who, of you and Hongjoong going out on dates. Without masks, not worried about the surroundings and clearly in love. Sadly, no one cares about that last part.

The talk of the town was about how the couple, the very one Hongjoong considered to be grandiose and marvelous, should not exist. You were in the very beginning of your career - a dating scandal being the last thing you could afford. And he? He was the captain of his team. His life choices could and would have an impact on the rest of his members, wrongfully so.

After a few hours of talk with both his and yours managers, almost everyone came to a consensus: you both should break up. "Fans" were getting angrier by the minute, the gossip was escalating. Neither of you were on top just yet - both were stars ascending. It took little to nothing, a small mistake, to cause you a downfall. He was forced to agree on the end of your relationship.

Now, you were waiting. Waiting for dispatch to tell the media that you were now broken up. Waiting for the managers to post the apology letter - the very one neither you or Hongjoong were able to write as you do not regret falling in love - so the staff had to write the lie themselves.

You were waiting for the house of cards to fall with you both inside of it, as none would willingly let the other behind. Hopefully, one day you'd be able to go back to each other's embrace without hundreds of cameras and commentators around. For now, you hug your love while the tears fall down and the words "I love you" get out of your mouth like a promise.

And you watch as the breeze becomes stronger and takes down the last standing card.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when I was your man

Thank you for reading <3

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans

Credits for image 1 , 2 and 3

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[throneofrayllum]

I Never Stopped.

Part One of my post - season two Timebomb fic. I was gonna post on Ao3 but, there were ✨difficulties✨ TRIGGER WARNING : SLIGHT SELF-HARM

Jinx cursed as she ran down the stairs to the bar. She was preparing for her daughter Felicity's upcoming birthday and had been using every spare moment to wrap gifts and plan her baby girl's special day, but now her boss was yelling at her to "get her ass down here!" Jinx slid to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and tossed her hair over her shoulder, "I'm a busy woman, Masyn, what can I say?" Masyn laughed as she smacked Jinx's ass with her rag, "Get to work, girl." Jinx winked before taking her spot behind the bar. She went about the typical routine; poured a couple shots, made a few cocktails, and gossiped with her mom friends. There was a lot of drama that went down with the PTA at her daughters school. Was Jinx involved with the PTA? Fuck no. Did she love the gossip? Absolutely. She continued to pour drinks without a thought in her mind except for what cake she would make for her baby's birthday. Strawberry was Felicity's favorite, but Jinx made strawberry desserts all the time. She wanted to make something special. Jinx was dragged from her thoughts when she realized she was being watched. She couldn't tell who was watching her, the bar was particularly busy tonight, but she just had a feeling. The bluenette was gonna be fucking pissed if she had to drag another guy out by his ear for ogling her and failing to respect her boundaries. She was in no mood. Jinx pretended not to notice, occupying her mind by counting her tips behind the counter and attending to whoever needed a refill. She felt the presence of the eyes that had been watching her for what felt like hours now. Whoever it was, stood behind the bar, she could feel it. Jinx muttered a prayer to Janna before plastering on her best sickeningly sweet smile, turning on her heel to face her...watcher. The smile was immediately wiped from her face as she took in the man before her. Ekko. Her Ekko. Jinx stared, and took him in. His dreads were pulled back in a bun, there was a faint trace of stubble on his jaw. He looked older. Ekko's hands gripped the counter, knuckles straining, his eyes shining with unshed tears. The sound of glass shattering woke Jinx from her trance. She had dropped a cup. Heads whipped in her direction, Jinx fell to her knees on the ground, hot tears spilling down her face. She sobbed as she grabbed the glass, accidently slicing her hand in all her alarm. "Fuck!", Jinx yelled, wrapping her bleeding hand in her skirt before continuing to pick up her broken pieces. She froze when she felt a someone grab her injured hand. Ekko. He had jumped over the bar and was kneeling beside her, tears running down his face as he took her hand from her skirt and kissed it, so so gently. Jinx let out a broken sob. Ekko brought his other hand to her chest, she could feel her heartbeat against it. Ekko inhaled sharply, "Are you real?" Jinx smiled softly, "I thought I was supposed to be the crazy one?" Before she could register what was happening, Ekko had grabbed Jinx and pulled her into his lap. His grip on her was bone-crushing as sobs wracked from his body. Jinx buried her face in his chest, breathing in his scent. She cried a little harder when she was met with the familiar smell of her boy savior; earthy and fresh. She knew the patrons of the bar were probably staring, she knew Masyn was most likely gonna pry her off of Ekko any second and ask who the fuck this man was (Masyn was extremely protective of Jinx). But, wrapped up in Ekko's arms, she didn't give a damn about the rest of the world.

Jinx picked at the cut on her hand as she waited for Ekko to grab the vodka. She didn't have medical alcohol, a fact that prompted Ekko to giving her a scolding glare. 'She really should have proper medical supplies' and blah blah blah. The Boy Savior had insisted on cleaning her up, Jinx had refused at first, claiming she needed to tidy up the bar. Masyn had shushed Jinx and sent the pair up to her apartment, hollering at Ekko to keep an eye on her as they ascended the stairs. Masyn must have guessed who Ekko was. Jinx had only ever told Lux about him, but she had shared with Masyn little bits and pieces about "Felicity's father". Plus, her daughter was the spitting image of Ekko; same nose, same skin tone, same beautiful brown eyes. The only thing "Jinx" about Felicity was her blue hair, but even her hair was the same texture as her fathers. Her racing thoughts came to a halt as she saw Ekko appear in the doorway through her peripheral vision. She turned to him, her soft smile dropping when she saw his expression; haunted. "What - what is it?", she asked, panic lacing her tone. Ekko closed his eyes and shook his head, "How old is your daughter?" Jinx felt like she was gonna throw up. She should've never let him into her apartment, of course he would notice the evidence of a child. The photos, the homemade mothers day cards, the painting of Felicity and Jinx hung in the dining corner (she couldn't really call it a dining room, it could barely fit more than two people). Jinx dropped her head and continued picking at her cut, this time with more force, causing blood to spill out. Ekko rushed to her side, kneeling down and holding her hands in his to stop her picking, "Hey, Jinx, look at me." He spoke so softly, so lovingly. Jinx sobbed and shook her head. She couldn't face him. Ekko spoke again, this time firmly, "Jinx, Look at me." Pink eyes met brown one's, Ekko smiled and rubbed his thumb against her knuckles. "How old is your daughter, Jinx?" There was a pause before she finally gave an answer, "She turns ten in two days." Ekko gave her a look, and Jinx knew what he was asking. "She's yours Ekko. You're Felicity's father." Ekko let out laugh, "Felicity", he breathed. Jinx nodded, "Felicity Violet. She was seven pounds at birth, her favorite food is anything strawberry flavored, but she doesn't like actual strawberries, which is... fucking weird." Jinx chuckled before continuing, "She's the best in her class; a literal genius, her favorite color is purple, I have to bribe her to let me do her hair, she kisses my tears away if I've been crying, and she's one of the best things that's ever fucking happened to me." Jinx was almost smiling again by the time she finished her rant, despite her tears. She couldn't help it, Felicity was the happiest part of her life. Ekko leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, "She sounds perfect." Jinx laughed, "She is." After a few moments, Jinx began to let panic seep into her head again. She pulled away and yanked her hands from Ekko's, "Are you mad at me? You have every right to be. I hid your daughter from you, who does that?" Ekko stared at her, not responding to her rambling, a sad look in his eyes. It drove Jinx crazy. "What are you doing?! Scream at me! Tell me you hate me! You should hate me, any sane person would!" Ekko grabbed her hands again, which had begun to pick at her wound once more. "Then I guess I'm insane, because I could never hate you Jinx. God's you should know that, I lo-" He stopped short. Ekko took a deep breathe before continuing, "I chose you, all those years ago, and I'm choosing you now. You did what you thought was best, I'll never understand why you thought it was best, but you did. And I can't change that. I wish I could but I can't. I'm angry, yes. I missed ten years of my daughters life. But I don't hate you, I can't. You're Jinx."

[imaginewoso]

Come Back...Be Here - Leah Williamson

i’m sorry i’ve been gone for so long. life makes an awful habit of getting in the way sometimes.

i was listening to Come Back...Be Here (Taylor’s Version) as one does and this kinda just happened. Flashbacks in italics. Hope you like it.  

Leah would tell anyone who asked that she was fine. She had captained the Lionesses to a European Championship, Arsenal was sitting comfortably at the top of the table, and she was on the cover of British GQ. Leah was fine, great even…until she saw you, camera in hand, looking as beautiful as you did the day she first met you; as beautiful as you did the day she fell in love with you; as beautiful as you did the day you left.

OR a post breakup meeting leaves Leah less than fine (though she’d be kidding herself to think she has been anything but broken since you got on that plane to New York).

“Hey, we’re here. You coming?” Keira asked, startling Leah out of her daze. When the blonde looked up, she noticed that the bus was empty save for her and her best friend, the rest of the Lionesses having begun to make their way toward the studio where their media day was being held.

“Oh, thanks mate. I didn’t realize,” the English captain responded, grabbing her bag and shuffling toward the exit. She exhaled deeply, bracing herself for the hectic day she could only imagine was awaiting her. She hated media days. Though hard to believe, she didn’t like taking photos- not anymore.

Leah was nearly out the bus door when she felt Keira grab her arm gently. The blonde defender turned around expecting to see the midfielder smirking at her, a quip about her spaced-out state at the tip of her tongue. Instead, Leah turned to find Keira with a concerned look on her face.

“Leah, are you okay?” she muttered, worry clear in her voice. This was not the first time Keira had spoken those words. The question had become a common pillar in their friendship over the last two years.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. Long day, you know. We should get out there, the others are probably waiting,” Leah affirmed before hastily making her way toward the studio doors and heading to the changing rooms to join her teammates. Keira followed closely behind but did not get far before smashing straight into the blonde captain’s back.

“Leah, what are you doing?” she asked. But the defender did not give a response. Instead, she stood frozen, gaze fixed on the group of photographers setting up in the distance.

Keira turned to see what her best friend was staring at and let out a gasp.

Before she could even think to turn toward the blonde, Leah bolted.

******

Leah was buzzing. Heading into the winter break with four straight wins and no goals conceded was exactly what Arsenal needed after the less than ideal start to the 2017 season.

The smile had not left the blonde’s face since the final whistle. It stayed with her all the way home, while she slept, and now, the following day, as she walked alone through the holiday market. She had a couple of days to herself to relax and recharge before the festivities with her family began and she was going to take full advantage of them.

Leah took in her surroundings as she walked. She was completely enraptured with the lights and music and the smell of hot chocolate wafting through the market. So much so that she didn’t notice you standing in front of her looking down at the camera in your hand. It was only when she bumped into you that she was taken out of her daze.

The blonde heard the quiet “ouch” before she even processed what had happened.

“Oh my god, are you--” Leah began but her breath caught in her throat when she looked down.

Sprawled out on the floor looking confused at what had just happened was the most beautiful woman Leah had ever seen. You looked up at the blonde, and then, with wide-eyes, down to your side where your very expensive camera lay upside down in the snow. You quickly picked it up, inspecting it to see if there were any cracks on the lens or screen. When you were satisfied that it wasn’t broken, you began to get up off the ground.

Leah finally snapped out of her trance and offered you her hand. Sparks shot up her arm, even through her mittens, when you grabbed on to pull yourself up. “I am so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, it’s just the market is my favourite place and I was staring at that hot cocoa cart and was trying to decide if I should get some and I --”

Your giggles cut off the nervous blonde’s rambling. “That’s alright, my fault. I shouldn’t have been looking down,” you replied sincerely.

The defender cleared her throat and looked at the camera. She rubbed the back of her neck nervously before she tentatively asked, “it’s not broken, is it?”

“Nah, it’s like I never dropped it, don’t worry about it,” you replied reassuringly, giving Leah a smile that had her absolutely melting despite the cold in the air.

“I’m Y/N,” you finally introduced yourself once you realized the blonde in front of you needed a little bit of a push.

“Y/N” the footballer whispered. When the blonde saw your eyebrows lift slightly, she realized she hadn’t introduced herself. “Leah” she blurted hastily; cheeks red from more than just the cold.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Leah. How about we go get you some of that hot cocoa that’s got you bumping into strangers, huh?” you teased before grabbing onto Leah’s arm and dragging her toward the cart.

******

It took Keira only ten minutes before she found her best friend, sitting in a broom closet, tears streaming down her face.

“What is she doing here? I was fine. I was doing more than fine. Thriving even,” Leah sputtered out in between sobs. Her hands covered her eyes as she tried to physically stop herself from crying.

“Leah, you weren’t fine,” Keira whispered, sitting on the floor beside her friend and throwing an arm around her back. “You haven’t been fine since she left.”

“I’ve been doing great. We, we won the fucking Euros for Christ sake,” she tried unsuccessfully to convince herself.

“Leah, I haven’t seen you genuinely smile in two years apart from when we won the Euros. And even then, you were holding back. It’s like you were looking for her in the crowd every chance you got, waiting for her to appear,” the midfielder said gently.

The blonde fell silent for a moment, taking in what Keira was saying. “God, I’m so pathetic, it’s been two years,” she sighed, finally admitting to herself and her best friend that she wasn’t fine.

“Oh mate, you’re not pathetic. We all saw how the two of you were together. I’ve never seen two people more in love. It’s normal to cry after seeing her for the first time since then,” Keira comforted, fixing the blonde’s out of place hairs.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” she whispered to her best friend. “I don’t know if can talk to her,” the blonde finished with a sigh.

“From the looks of it, she’s manning one of the stations so avoiding her doesn’t seem like it’s an option,” Keira said, squeezing one of Leah’s hands in comfort.

“What if I break down before I even say a word. Or worse, kiss her the second she looks into my eyes? Every scenario is a bad one,” Leah whined.

Keira giggled. “Yeah, maybe avoid the kissing right away, might throw her off. Though I do get the urge, she does look great,” the midfielder teased, earning a push to her chest and a glare from her friend— she always had been the jealous type when it came to you.

“She was your friend before you two dated, try to remember how you spoke to her then. Who knows, maybe this will be the closure you need, or the start of something new,” Keira mumbled the last part to herself as she stood up.

“Come on,” she offered a hand to the Lioness captain and pulled her up. “Let’s fix that makeup of yours, you look like a raccoon,” she joked, drawing a small smile from the blonde.

******

“This is so beautiful,” you heard Leah state softly as you got her a glass of water in the kitchen. The two of you hadn’t left one another’s side all that much since meeting but this was her first time in your apartment and she was admiring the artwork on your living room walls.

“Thank you,” you replied, putting her glass down before settling on the sofa, watching her admire a photograph of a busy London coffee shop.

“It’s like I’m sitting right there with them almost. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like I can hear them chattering, and like I can smell the coffee they’re drinking,” she whispered in awe.

“Thanks. That’s what I was hoping for,” you smiled at her.

“You took this!?” She exclaimed, turning away from the frame and toward you for the first time since you entered the room.

“Yeah, it was part of my first year portfolio” you answered.

“Y/N it’s incredible, you’re incredible,” she gushed. You looked down, cheeks red from her compliment.

“You should open a gallery. Is that what photographers do? I’d come to your gallery,” she continued.

You cleared your throat and looked at her. “That’s the dream. Maybe one day,” you said wistfully.

“Can I see some of your other work maybe?” Leah asked tentatively, unsure if you two were at that point in your friendship yet.

“Absolutely,” you replied before pulling out a big book off your shelf which housed some of your photographs from your first two years in school. She flipped through each page, admiring every photo she came across.

“Think you can make me look that good?” She joked as she pointed to a photo of your best friend who had been your model for one of your assignments.

“Please, like you need me to help you look good,” you answered before you realized what you said. “Actually, I’ve got another project due soon and could use a model if you’re up for it,” you rushed out hoping to distract from your comment on her beauty.

“I’d love to be one of your models,” she said bashfully, smiling widely at you.

******

You stood at the back station, camera in hand. Leah took a deep breath and before she even realized what she was doing, her feet took her forward, Keira’s voice at the back of her mind. She was just gonna bite the bullet so they could move on with the day.

You were speaking to a couple of other photographers, seemingly giving out last minute instructions to the individuals who would be in charge of the other media stations — if the lanyards around their necks were any indication. She waited until you finished your speech and for the group to slowly disperse before she approached you. With your back toward her, she had a second to take a breath and prepare herself for the moment she had been waiting for for two years. She knew she didn’t have long though. You always did have a knack for feeling her before seeing her.

Just as expected, you stiffened slightly as she approached. You waited a beat, exhaling before you turned around. Your breath hitched the second your eyes met Leah’s. You knew you’d run into her at some point, it was inevitable, but you thought you’d have slightly more time to prepare yourself.

“Hi,” the blonde breathed out, eyes moving across your face, committing any differences she could find to her memory.

You had changed slightly since she last saw you. Your hair was touches lighter (you always did say you wanted to dye it), eyes a little dimmer (yet still her favourite shade of Y/E/C she had ever seen), but the small smile on your lips was just as beautiful as she remembered it.

“Hi,” you rasped back, doing the same thing, raking your eyes over her face before eventually down to her outfit. You couldn’t stop yourself from taking in the way her blue tracksuit fit (it always was your favourite colour on her, it brought out the blue in her eyes).

You realized what you were doing, and your eyes snapped back to her face. Any hope you had that she hadn’t noticed was gone the second you saw a tint of red covering her cheeks and a small smirk playing at her lips. Oops (you were only human).

“What, what are you doing here?” Leah stuttered after she finally recovered from having your eyes on her. She cursed herself for her delivery. Two years and that’s the best she could do. At least she wasn’t crying.

You lifted the camera in your hands and waved it around, “filling in for a friend. She had a last-minute emergency. I owed her a favour, so here I am.”

“Right, yeah, duh,” she replied. Of course, you were here for work, and nothing else. Her stomach churned as she wondered if the friend you were helping was just that and not someone more. It wasn’t any of her business though. Not anymore.

“I’d ask why you’re here but well, it wouldn’t be a Lioness media day without Captain Williamson, huh?” You teased. Leah’s heart fluttered. “It’s nice to see you, Leah,” you continued softly.

“It’s nice to see you too, Y/N,” she whispered. “How have you been, how is New York? The gallery?” she asked, swallowing loudly as soon as the question left her lips. It was still a sore spot.

“It’s lovely, everything I’ve dreamed of really. People seem to enjoy it,” you responded. Leah nodded with a small smile on her face. For as much as it hurt, she was glad to hear it from you that you had been doing well. She was well aware how successful your gallery in New York was (though she’d never admit it, too embarassed by the number of times she’d google your name when she couldn’t sleep at night, consumed by her heartbreak). “Of course they do, you’re the most talented photographer I know. Congratulations Y/N,” she replied.

“I think congratulations are in order for you too. Captaining your team to a Euros win at 25, Lee that is absolutely incredible.” Her heart fluttered once again, this time at the nickname she hadn’t heard in years (she nearly kicked a ball straight at Beth’s head the first and last time the forward called her that post your departure).

“Thank you, it’s been a pretty wild year. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real,” Leah responded, looking down at her feet shyly.

“I imagine. Euros, top of the table with Arsenal, GQ. Lots to celebrate,” you gushed before you could stop yourself. You never really could contain how proud you were of her during your relationship, that was unlikely to change.

Leah looked up, eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face. “You’re keeping up with my career?” she teased, finally gaining some of that confidence that you’d always loved, your words fuelling her. Maybe she wasn’t the only one doing the googling.

“Hard not to. I’ve been in London for two days and the Euros posters seem to be everywhere,” you feigned annoyance trying to brush passed your obvious slip up.  You were secretly proud that your voice hadn’t wavered (and revealed that you definitely had been keeping up with her career long before you arrived in your old hometown).

“And Arsenal?” she asked. Okay maybe you hadn’t been as convincing as you’d thought.

“My sister loves football, you know that. Texts me the table every Sunday.”

“And GQ?” she pushes, the smirk on her face growing.

“It’s my job, Leah. Magazine photoshoots are basically my homework,” you say, this time the lie clear as day.

Now her smile was wide. “And? What did you think? In your professional opinion, of course.”

“Stunning. They did a great job capturing your personality,” you replied earnestly after a beat.

“And your personal one?” she chanced, biting her lip the second she asked. She was definitely playing with fire but she never could help herself around you.

You paused, thinking of how to respond without revealing just how much the photoshoot had ruined you when it appeared on your feed.

“I thought you look—” but before she could finish, your familiar banter was cut off by a series of squeals.

In an instant, what felt like the entire Lionesses squad surrounded the two of you.

******

After a couple of weeks, Leah had finally convinced you to go to watch an Arsenal game. The two of you had been hanging out any time you were both free, but you hadn’t yet made your way to Meadow Park. Not for lack of trying but you were in your final year of school which meant putting together your portfolio took up most of your days.

“Who’s caught your eye, mate?” Beth asked Leah who seemed to be staring into the crowd every other minute while they warmed up.

“Huh? Oh nobody, just checking to see if Y/N found her seat okay that’s all,” Leah replied, once again looking at where you were meant to be seated.

“Your girlfriend finally came to watch us?” Beth gasped, taking at peak at where Leah kept glancing to try and get a look at the woman from the market that her friend had been telling them about for months.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Leah grumbled for what felt like hundredth time. You weren’t dating. You were just two friends who happened to talk every day and hangout all the time and hold hands (but only in a friend kind of way). And yeah, maybe sometimes she got butterflies when you looked at her, and she couldn’t get you off your mind, and really she only spoke about you so much because you were the most talented person she ever met. It was totally normal for friends to act like that (she justified to herself).

It was only once the game started that Leah spotted you in the crowd, her red Arsenal jersey adorning your body and a small camera around your neck. The blonde’s heart soared at the sight of you sitting in the reserved family section.

“Let’s go, Williamson,” Beth snapped Leah out of her trance and dragged her toward the huddle. “Concentrate, you want to impress your girl, don’t you?" she teased.

“She’s not my—” Leah started before being interrupted. “Yeah yeah, not your girl, sure sure. Regardless, let’s put on a good show for her, yeah?” Beth stated.

“Yeah.” And put on a show they did, beating Tottenham 5-0, Leah scoring a header in the second half which you could not shut up about the minute she exited the locker rooms.

“Oh my gosh, that was incredible, Lee. You were fantastic. You run so fast, and that header was perfect,” you gushed, pulling Leah into a hug which she was grateful for because that meant you couldn’t see her skin turn the same shade of red as the jersey you were wearing.

“Thank you,” she whispered into your neck before you heard someone clear their throat. When you separated, her teammates were beside you, eager to meet the woman who was taking up so much of their friend’s time.

“Y/N, nice to finally meet you. We thought Leah was making you up,” Beth said, clapping her hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

“Yeah, Leah has not shut up about you since you two met. It’s nice to put a face to the name,” Jordan revealed. “That is so not true,” the blonde muttered and looked down.

You looked at Leah and smiled before turning to the rest of the team and introducing yourself, saving her the embarassment and changing the subject (more for fear that they’d catch on to your obvious swooning).

******

“Y/N! What are doing in London?”

“Why didn’t you tell us you were gonna be our photographer?”

“Oh my gosh you finally dyed your hair.”

You were bombarded with a series of questions and did your best to answer all of them, happy to see the group of women in front of you.

Leah couldn’t stop staring at you as you interacted with her teammates. She wasn’t the only one who lost someone when you got on that plane to New York. You had become an important part of her friend group throughout your three-year relationship with the blonde, having come to both club and country games. She really couldn’t fault them for being excited to see you (but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a little ticked off that they had burst the bubble the two of you had been in moments earlier).

“You okay?” Leah heard before she felt Keira’s comforting hand on her arm. The other girls knew Leah had been sad when the two of you had ended your relationship (anybody would be). But only Keira really saw just how heartbroken the split had left their captain. The midfielder had never heard her best friend sob like she did that first month of your breakup.

Leah looked to Keira and nodded but her eyes told a different story. The joy (relief almost) of seeing you was still present, but the pain of you being so close but not hers was finally catching up. She swallowed hard and looked away. If she looked at her best friend any longer, she’d cry again and she couldn’t do that in front of all these people.

Luckily, Sarina appeared and told everyone it was time to get their hair and makeup done before starting the photos. The Lionesses shuffled toward their seats, waving at you with promises of ‘see you later.�� Keira stayed beside the blonde but when she realized Leah wasn’t moving because she wanted to talk to you, she patted her friend’s elbow and left you two alone to talk after giving you a quick hug.

“You’re in charge of video or photos?” Leah asked.

“I get the honour of individual photos. Easy stuff for me today,” you replied, happy to have escaped the group photo and video stations—you knew how rowdy they could get.

“So I’ll see you later then?” The blonde asked hopefully.

“I imagine the captain can’t escape individual photos. Might actually be seeing more of you than the others,” you giggled nervously.

“Okay,” she breathed out.

“Okay,” you repeated. “I’ll see you, have fun Leah,” you said kindly, squeezing her arm before being called over by a fellow photographer.

Leah stared at you as you walked away, arm on fire where you had touched her for the first time in so long. She took a deep breath to calm her beating heart. When it didn’t work, she sighed and made her way toward her hair and makeup seat with one last look your way. This was going to be a long day.

******

“Come on Y/N, you can do it, I believe in you,” Leah shouted from her spot in goal. She had forced you to get on the pitch with her at the park near her home on one of the rare days the two of you both had off. Now personally, you would rather not be here embarrassing yourself with your severe lack of coordination and clumsiness. But Leah had asked, with her low voice and piercing eyes and well who were you to say no, really?

“I can’t, Lee. I’m not made for sports, I’m made for the arts,” you groaned dramitcally as the ball rolled to the far left of the goal post for the sixth time in a row.

“It’s because you’re hitting the ball with the wrong part of your foot. You have to hit the laces not the toes,” the blonde offered, trying to be helpful.

“I thought I was doing that,” you sighed, frustrated that you couldn’t get it.

“No, you’re definitely all toe,” Leah spoke softly as she left the net and approached you. “You have to angle it,” she tried again but when you gave her a blank stare, she took a hold of your foot and positioned it perfectly under the ball.

Your breath hitched as she stood up and was much closer than she had been a minute ago. She cleared her throat before getting next to you. “Now, back up a couple of steps, look exactly where you want the ball to end up and hit it with the laces, exactly where I put your foot.”

You took a deep breath and did exactly as Leah told you. The ball flew through the air and hit the net.

“Oh my god, I did it, Lee did you see that!? It was perfect. It went straight in,” you exclaimed, and Leah giggled at your excitement.

“You’re practically a pro, you’ll be on the team in no time,” she joked.

“Okay, that was exhausting. My turn in net. You take some shots,” you said while making your way to where Leah had just been.

“I don’t know that that’s a great idea,” she cautioned, scared you’d get hurt.

“Nonsense. Just don’t send a bullet and I’ll be fine,” you reassured her. But you were definitely wrong. Because though you didn’t have to worry about Leah hitting you with the ball (she’d never actually shoot hard) you did have to worry about your own clumsiness. When you moved to the right to try and save a shot, you tripped over your foot and landed on your knee. The blood was instant really.

The two of you rushed to Leah’s house around the block and went straight to the bathroom to clean up the little cut which had surprising let out a lot of blood.

She knelt in front of you and cleaned it up with gentle hands, tongue darting out as she concentrated on trying not to hurt you.

Once the band aid was on, she looked up at you and saw you staring at her with an unreadable expression on your face.

“What?” she questioned, which snapped you out of your thoughts of the woman in front of you. For someone so stoic on the field, she really was so gentle.

“No kiss to make it better?” You teased, brow raised, and a smirk plastered on your face in an attempt to divert the attention away from her question before you blurted out that you were in love with her.

But you didn’t get the chuckle you were hoping for, or the push to the shoulder you had grown so accustomed to. Instead, Leah looked straight at you, eyes full of determination, and perhaps a hint of uncertainty.

Your smirk faltered slightly, “Lee are you ok—hmphh.” Soft lips met yours forcefully, cutting you off mid-sentence. The blonde’s hand grabbing your shirt. The two of you fell into a heated rhythm, months of pining on both ends culminating into this moment. After a few minutes you pulled away to catch your breath.

“You know I meant on the knee but this was definitely much better,” you whispered, eyes still closed before diving back into her.

*****

“Leah, earth to Leah,” Beth yelled across the room to their captain who had not said a single word since she sat down in the black hair and makeup chair.

A half hour had passed and Leah hadn’t been able to take her eyes off you, scared that if she did you’d disappear and she’d never see you again.

Jordan, who was sitting on Leah’s left, elbowed the distracted woman lightly, trying her best to bring her attention to Beth, if only to stop the loudness.

“Beth, stop yelling,” Leah deadpanned, finally turning her attention to her teammate.

“How was your conversation with Y/N? From the looks of it there was definitely lots of flirting,” Beth teased just as she always had when it come to you and the blonde.

“We weren’t flirting.”

“You sure? I saw that lip bite and all the checking out. Thinking of making a move, mate?” She continued, despite Keira’s mumbled, “Beth, stop,” the second the words left her mouth.

Leah glared. “It’s not like that. We were just catching up,” she argued.

“You sure? Because you haven’t stopped looking at her since you sat down,” Beth pushed.

“I’m just trying to see what the set up is for when I have to go up there,” Leah bit back.

“Mhmm, yeah I’m sure. Well, better prepare yourself, she’s coming this way,” Beth practically sang.

“That’s not funny. I’m obviously not going to fall for that,” Leah spat out only to feel a hand gently hand on her shouder. Her head turned sharply at the contact, forcing you to immediately let go of her.

“Hey guys, I’m sorry to interrupt, but we’ve got to get this rolling. I don’t mind what order you do it in, just make sure you each hit all the stations. Pictures are gonna be in the home and away kits but we also have to get some with the new sports bras. Good?” You commanded more than asked the room of Lionesses, falling into your role as head photographer. Once you received nods, you made your way over to your station in the back corner to prep for whoever decided to join you first.

“You’re drooling,” Beth pretended to wipe Leah’s mouth before making her way over to your station, smirk firmly in place.

“Come on, Leah, let’s get the videos out of the way,” Keira said, dragging the blonde in the opposite direction.

*****

“We’re nearly done, then we can cuddle and watch Lord of the Rings all night if you’d like,” you promised.

Leah had agreed to model for you for a project you were working on, partly inspired by her, highlighting women in their fields. You had already finished all the other portraits, saving what you thought would be the easiest for last.

This is how you ended up in a rented studio, Leah in her kit, and and a football at her feet.

You needed this to be perfect. You needed to make sure you got the perfect shot. It was your first project post graduation and you knew it needed to be exceptional. Which is why you had been here for the past three hours.

“Babe, is it something I’m doing?” She questioned, exhaustion clear in her voice.

“No, god no you’re perfect. It’s just missing something but I can’t tell what,” you sighed.

“Can I make a suggestion?” she asked.

“Please do.”

“It’s because I’m alone,” she started. You stared at her, eyebrow raised in question. “It’s a team sport, it feels weird because I’m alone and I shouldn’t be because nothing I do is ever alone. There’s always another player or opponent their guiding me,” she finished.

You were silent for a moment.

“Y/N?”

“You’re brilliant. You’re absolutely right. Do you think we can get some of your teammates on board?” you questioned, your mind already racing with ideas of how you could incorporate the other women.

“Of course, I’m sure they’d be super into,” she giggled, already picturing the mayhem that would ensue. She moved right in front of you, pulling your attention away from the ideas in your head. You moved the hair out of her face and behind her ear. You stood there for a moment, admiring her beauty.

“What?” she asked, wrapping her arms around your shoulders.

“I love you, thank you,” you whispered softly, your eyes full of love. Leah smiled wide before pulling you into a kiss.

“I love you too,” she murmured against your lips before stepping back. “Now let’s wrap this up, I was promised cuddles and intend to hold you to it,” she said with a wink.

*****

Leah had put it off for as long as she could but the day was coming to an end soon and she only had your station left.

She had been sneaking glances at you working all day— while she waited at each photo station, during lunch, between video set ups. She saw you working with each Lioness, catching up with old friends and getting to know the new girls on the squad. Each woman left your station smiling after you had shown them the photos.

Tentatively, Leah approached you as you were going through the photos from the day, noting the edits that needed to be done as you waited for whoever was left (you knew it was Leah, you had been waiting all day, slightly disappointed anytime someone new joined you and it wasn’t your favourite blonde). You turned toward her as she peaked at the screen over your shoulder.

“Those look incredible,” she breathed out, in awe of your talent.

“Thanks, Lee” you blushed, both at her words and proximity.

“Home kit first?” She asked, already adorned in the white Nike jersey. Once you nodded she headed toward the tarp, taking a moment to fix her hair into its signature ponytail.

“Look okay?” She asked, shyly. She knew you loved her hair in a ponytail.

“Looks great but,” you paused to go and grab something on your work table before making your way toward her. “You’re missing something,” you continued, holding the captain’s armband out for her to slip her arm into.

“Ready to go, Captain?” You patted the sleeve before retreating to grab your camera (giving Leah a chance to recover and the blush on her face to subdue).

“Ready when you are.” She stated nervously, unsure how this was going to go. You hadn’t photographed her in years. But her worries were forgotten the second you started. You both fell into the familiar rhythm you had perfected by the end of your three year relationship.

“Good Leah, that’s great, love the ‘I could punch someone look’ it’s very you,” you joked, making her giggle.

“There’s that smile. Keep her there for a second, yeah?” you half-asked, half-commanded.

Leah’s giggles rang out through the studio as you continued on asking her to do various funny poses in an attempt to loosen her up. It caught the attention of her teammates who watched on, the newer call-ups surprised to see their normally stoic captain so care-free, and the older ones sharing silent looks and fond smiles at seeing remnants of the old Leah they hadn’t known in years.

“Great. I think we’ve got the home kit shot,” you told her once you were satisfied with the photos on your computer screen. “Let’s reset and get the next fit done,” you finished, finally looking up at the blonde to see that she had already lost her shirt and was standing in the new sports bra.

You gulped, eyes trailing down to her abs on full display. She cleared her throat pointedly and your eyes snapped up to her smirking face.

“I figured sports bra would be easier first,” she explained, her tone teasing but the want in her eyes— the want you were sure was a reflection of what she was seeing in your eyes— betraying her aloofness.

“Yeah, yup good call,” was all you could get out, still slightly flustered. You needed to get it together. You were a professional dammit. So, you bit your lip and snapped the photos as quickly as possible.

“Alright perfect, I think we got them. Put a shirt on, we’ll get the last ones done,” you said almost desperately.

“I don’t know that I’ve ever heard you say that to me,” she laughed as your cheeks flushed.

“Cheeky,” you mumbled good-naturedly, fidgeting with your camera settings as she changed. The away kit photos happening just as quickly now that she was more comfortable in front of your camera.

“That’s a wrap for you, Leah. Want to see them?” You asked, receiving your answer when she approached you to see your screen. You showed her the overview and accepted her praises graciously.

“I look quite fit in those ones,” she said proudly, pointing to the away kit photos.

You snorted. “Please, you look quite fit in all of em, Lee. The armband suits you,” you told her earnestly.

She stared at you, eyes flickering across your face to see if you had meant it. The want was clear in her eyes again and you gulped, this time not trying to take back the compliment. You meant it.

“Thank you,” she rasped, her eyes now trained on your lips.

“Anyway, it is my job to make you look good,” you joked, successfully clearing the heavy air. If she looked at you like that any longer you don’t know what you would do.

“Is that right?” She asked, eyebrow raised. You laughed but didn’t answer. She knew you were joking. You had always told her that she was the easiest person to take photos of, her beauty making any angle work.

“Looks like everyone’s wrapping up,” you pointed out, noticing how most of the Lionesses were heading to the changing rooms to get back into the clothes they had arrived in.

“I should probably get changed too,” she sighed, not wanting to leave you but feeling the tiredness catching up with her from the long day.

You nodded, putting some distance between the two of you and beginning to clean up your station. “I will leave you to it then.”

“Thanks Y/N, for the photos,” she said. You gave her a small smile and nod before busying yourself with cleaning up. If you didn’t do something with you hands you’d definitely try to snatch her up and keep her with you forever.

Leah looked at you longingly. She sighed slightly before turning around and heading toward her teammates. She could feel your eyes on her back the entire way.

*****

“So that’s it? You’re going?” Leah whispered, tears streaming down her face as she struggled to get the words out.

You had both been woken up by the sound of your phone ringing two nights ago. The call was from an artist in New York with a room open in their gallery and they wanted you and your pictures to take up that space. Your career had been slow to start following the completion of your degree and this was the big break you had been waiting for.

“Lee—”

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand how you can just be okay with leaving,” she continued.

“I’m not just okay with leaving. London is my home. You’re my home. But it’s an opportunity I can’t turn down, Leah. You have to understand,” you pleaded with your girlfriend, wanting her to understand why you needed to do this.

“So stay. If I’m you’re home then don’t leave me, please,” she practically begged.

“I can’t Leah. The gallery is a dream come true.  They asked for me. They called for me. I can’t turn that away. I’ve worked so hard to be here and I can’t turn it away.”

“So you’re turning away from me instead,” the blonde whispered.

“I’m not turning away from you Leah, this doesn’t need to be the end. I don’t get why we can’t do long distance, just for a little while until I figure this out,” you begged her to hear you out.

“What, so we can end up like every single long-distance couple we know? Broken up and practically strangers,” the blonde spat out. The aggression she normally only showed on the pitch was now directed at you. “I’m not going to let us get to that point, Y/N.”

“So instead of giving us a shot, you’re deciding that we’ll just be broken up and strangers before the long distance happens. How does that make any sense,” you tried to reason.

“This isn’t my fault. You’re the one who decided to change things, not me.”

“I don’t want to break up, Leah,” you sighed, the frustration slipping out.

“No, but you want New York and I can’t be your long distance girlfriend,” Leah said, a finality to her voice that you knew meant it was the end. “I can’t Y/N, I’m sorry,” she said, bringing you into a hug as you both sobbed.

You were set to leave in 3 days. Those were the worst three days of your life. You and Leah agreed your breakup would only be official once you got on that plane. Until then, the two of you were glued to one another. She even helped with booking flights and curating the pieces you wanted to present.

But she could not help with packing, helping you back up your shared life together would hurt to much. So she watched from your bed as you packed instead, eyes watering with every piece of you that was put into a box. You stopped right before packing away her favourite of your hoodies, and you immediately handed it over to her. “It looks better on you anyway,” you murmurred, which had her crying all over again.

When the time came to leave, you hoped with everything in you that she’d change her mind and try to make the distance work. But by four in the morning when you had to leave, she hasn’t said a word.

“I love you so much, Lee,” you whispered, leaning down to give her a kiss on her forehead before leaving the bedroom, suitcase in hand.

She wanted to stop you. Wanted to tell you to come back and stay in bed with her, just for a little longer. Wanted to tell you she was wrong and that the two of you shouldn’t break up and that you could make it work. But she knew she couldn’t. Not with your busy schedules. Not when the mere thought of you across the ocean split her heart in two. She couldn’t handle it. If you weren’t together, then the distance wouldn’t feel as bad, she tried to convince herself. But as she watched you leave, she wasn’t so sure.

“I love you, Y/N” she said through sobs once she heard the front door shut.

*****

Leah was one of the last to leave the changing rooms and when she emerged she found most of the Lionesses surrounding you, bidding you goodbye.

She approached the group, catching the tail end of Jordan’s promise to send you pictures of Blu. One by one your old friends hugged you, before making their way outside toward the bus. Leah stared, wondering if she’d be able to hug you too, but not for long. Once it was the two of you alone, you turned toward her, arms open with an unsure smile on your face.

The blonde melted into the hug. She inhaled your familiar perfume and burrowed into your steady arms, trying her best to commit this to her memory. She didn’t know when she’d get the chance again. You held on just as tightly, before reluctantly letting her go and taking a step back.

Silence fell over you.

“So, when do you head back home, to New York, I mean?” Leah finally asked, dreading the answer.

“Not for a couple of days actually,” you responded, surprise evident on Leah’s face. You were never in London for longer than you needed to be—that’s what your mutual friends had told her whenever she’d catch wind of you being in the city.

“You’re visiting family?” she pried tentatively, trying to gage what was keeping you here.

“Yeah, mostly. It’s been a while since I’ve been here and I promised my nan I’d help her with some stuff around the house,” you offered and Leah smiled (her and your nan always did get on well).

“Well maybe we could get a coffee or breakfast or something, if you wanted to sometime before you help her out or even just before you leave. Maybe Monday morning. If you’re not busy, I mean,” Leah stumbled through the invite.

“I’m sorry, Leah I can’t,” you started but before you could finish she interrupted you.

“Oh, no that’s fine you probably have people to see and stuff to do. That’s totally okay,” she rushed out, heart breaking at that fact that this might be the last she sees of you for a while.

“No Leah I didn’t mean at all, I just meant I can’t Monday morning,” you reassured her.

“Oh,” the blonde Lioness squeaked out, slightly embarrassed by her ramble.

“Maybe Monday afternoon?” You asked gently. “I’m actually going to check out a gallery space and should finish up right around lunchtime.”

Leah stared at you for what felt like an eternity. Her heart beating out of her chest at your words.

“A gallery space? Here? In London?” She questioned, the gears turning in her head trying to figure out why you’d be doing that without getting her hopes up.

Putting her out of her misery, you filled in the blanks for her. “The gallery in New York is doing really well. It’s finally at a point where I don’t need to be there all the time. I trust the team enough to keep it afloat. Figured I’d look into expanding.”

“Expanding to London?” You’re moving back?” Leah asked, holding her breath.

“If this space works out then I’d be back for most of the year. I’d have to travel to New York every couple of months, but I’d be here most of my time,” you answered.

Leah exhaled, trying to keep the wide smile off of her face and failing miserably.

“I was missing home,” you added, hoping she understood what you meant.

Her (now unabashed) smile an indication she had.“Home missed you too,” she replied quickly before Keira appeared in the door.

“Leah, we’ve got to head out. The bus driver is waiting,” she called out—it was clear in her voice she didn’t want to interrupt.

“I guess I’ll see you Monday?” You asked hopefully.

“Definitely, I’ll message you. We’ll work out the details,” she was almost giddy now.

“Okay,” you bit your lip, contemplating your next move. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you got closer, up onto your toes, and kissed her right cheek. “See you, Lee,” you whispered before waving goodbye to Keira and heading back to your station to finish up.

Leah gave you one last look before making her way toward her best friend.

“You okay, mate?” the midfielder asked, eyebrows raised at the smile on the blonde’s face.

Leah nodded, eyes sparkling and smile wide. Keira knew this time she meant it.

[alicerosejensen]

I just finished your piece of Leon saving reader from kidnapper. So good, definitely one of my favorites for my boy Leon.

I was wondering if I could kindly request a sequel piece of dealing with the dissociative amnesia. I have that and a huge part of it and is forgetting memories that aren’t associated with the traumatic event. You can slowly start to forget everything and you can also sometimes get snippets of a memory back from triggers.

As a Leon lover, I’d love to see Leon comforting and helping the reader with that as well as the PTSD in general.

Of course no pressure or worry if you don’t wanna do this! You’re an amazing writer and I hope you keep writing in the future!! ❤️❤️☺️

Slowly I think that I will start writing again. My mood is still crap, but at least I have the desire to write something. So I'll probably continue to answer requests.

Let this be a small addition to that post about the kidnapping of the reader.

- First of all, Leon will be afraid to leave you alone. He will walk with you everywhere and hold your hand.

- Of course, having experienced such stress, he understands that this will not pass without consequences, so he tries as much as possible to smooth out all the corners and make sure that nothing reminds you of the kidnapping.

- Dissociative amnesia is a shitty thing, you remember that you were afraid, but the memories of those days and the kidnapper himself seemed to be erased from your memory. Leon is only happy about this. He really thinks that you shouldn’t bring this up and constantly tries to distract you from this activity, believing that these memories should be forgotten.

- You instinctively cling to him like a little puppy of a beloved owner. Leon calmly accepts your desire for intimacy with him (not intimacy), so he tries to provide any attention you need.

- Takes you to sessions with psychotherapists and makes sure that you take medications to quickly recover.

- Leon asks to refrain from studying for now. Knowing that the kidnapping took place after classes at college, he is afraid that you will remember the events themselves and you will feel worse, so he suggests that you rest or study at home.

- He cooks food for you (probably simple dishes since I’m sure he doesn’t know how to cook), reads books with you and watches movies and TV shows in the evening, but Leon carefully checks the material before watching.

- Leon will learn different types of therapy thanks to which you can safely express your feelings. Of course he will consult a doctor.

- He really provides incredible support coupled with adequate treatment, thanks to which he sees that you are slowly but surely getting better.

- Leon rejoices at your small achievements in therapy.

- You talk to each other a lot, but subconsciously or not, you don't want to go anywhere or sleep without him. Leon always falls asleep later so he becomes a big spoon in your bed, shielding you from your fears.

- Do you have a fear of the dark? Leon will have no problem turning on the night light just to make you feel safe.

- He will never blame you for your slow recovery. Yes, he's been through a lot of crap and Raccoon City has mostly broken him, but he takes your traumatic experiences very seriously. Leon is not the kind of person who can one day say that he has been through more crap than you.

- If you have a panic attack or react to some trigger that scares you terribly, Leon will immediately rush to calm you down and create a safe zone.

- Of course, he's still a government agent. He can easily be called on a mission at any time, so he will ask someone to look after you. If it's not Claire, he'll just find someone like a nurse.

- However, he will be with you at all critical stages to get through together. You can always lean on his shoulder, especially for you.

[ofallthingsnasty]

Please indulge me with what the life of being arlong’s human pet entails

Gladly 😏 Sorry this took so long, I just couldn't write this without re-reading the Arlong Park arc and Jinbei's flashback. (But I have to say it gave me so, so much inspo for more stuff with him hehe - he just ticks off every violence and degradation box there is, what a character 🤭) anon is referencing this post tw. gn reader, violence, noncon, torture, free use mention, dead dove: do not eat, dehumanization, (inevitable) death, minors dni, read the tags and read them twice

Nothing good, I can tell you that.

I know I talked about being his pet - but really, the term 'pet' is already way too generous. It implies that you’re in some favored position, maybe even loved - and really, you aren’t. You see, Nami is of use to him, is a valuable member of the Arlong Pirates due to her skills - and you? What exactly do you have that could gain you any favors with him? 

Nothing. You’ve got nothing but a too-soft body and a broken down spirit. Entirely useless for his endeavors as a pirate - but perfect for kicking, abusing, tormenting and blowing off steam. (And, he finds, you’re actually a nice example - much better than expected, especially when he parades you around in his towns, beaten and eyes utterly empty. When he’s feeling particularly foul, he makes you crawl in front of the villagers just like the World Nobles do. Just to show those little humans what he’s capable of. Nothing better to make them see how weak they are when he can just make you wipe your feet with your own dignity.) What he likes best about you is your fear, your terror - it’s probably what made him take you in the first place, because you becoming his little pet was more of a spontaneous thing, not planned. (He should have made an example out of you but your eyes... The way you cowered in front of him in nothing but raw, visceral fear was delicious back then and still is.) His personal little punching bag and stress relief rolled into one measly fucking human who does as he says because they’ve been scared into submission by his rampages and abuse. Still, I think he didn’t start out as severe as he treats you now - at first, you were shoved into some corner and unsure what to actually do with you, he just made you clean and serve his crew. To wring some measly fucking use out of you. To have some sort of justification for housing you at Arlong Park - because keeping you like this is just a waste of money. But there is a big difference between scrubbing the floor until your knees are raw to ‘earn’ a living and being forced to lick it sparkly clean with a foot on the back of your head - somehow, you end up down there all the same, each day you spent with him and his crew melting away their (already incredibly small) inhibitions as soon they realized no one is going to stop them from doing… just about anything to you. (And that’s one of the worst parts about this, really. That you’re free to anyone, with just a couple of privileges reserved for Arlong. Half of them spit in your face in disgust, the rest are more physical, for better or for worse.) I think he is a big fan of all things utterly degrading, just to put you in your place for the fun of it: addressing you like you’re an animal and not a person, having you crawl around Arlong Park (naked or not - really, that’s up to him), using you as furniture, strangling or pushing your head into his little pool long enough for your legs to give out - you’re so easily overpowered and always surprised when he catches you, it’s such a sight. And of course, you have other uses as well - and he doesn’t give a shit when he makes you vomit by forcing himself down your throat or you tearing when he’s too rough. You’re there for his entertainment only. It’s like someone giving a kid an inflated sword toy to hit their friends with: once he sees how far he can take it, there is no stopping him. His hatred for humans has few exceptions and you don’t fill any of them, not even when you try your best to be well-behaved. 

And one day, he’s going to kill you, intentionally or not. Like some threadbare teddy bear, your head is simply going to pop off, played with a little too hard, for too long. Be it some nasty infection you caught from a cut too deep or him holding your head underwater for too long or him simply kicking you too hard in the face - whatever it is, you’ll be wishing it had been the barrel of a gun instead.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

I Should Probably, Probably Not

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

WC: ~2.3k

TW: swearing, mentions of sex, making out, definitely pg18, mdni, poor decisions, bar bathrooms

A/N: this song is so Steve post breakup and I legit couldn’t not write it. Hope y’all enjoy it!!!!

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months But I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up

“Robin. Robsssss.” You tugged on her sleeve. Your shirt revealed a bit more cleavage than usual, and your hair had been done up for just one last hurrah before you became a senior in college. The gang had all decided to go out, bar hopping, but after the first bar, you all ended up going to your favorite bar and staying there anyways. You were sitting in your usual booth, all six of you, well would be seven, enjoying the last night of summer together. 

Steve opted out of the night, which you were more than happy about, really. Steve had broken up with you at the start of summer, citing his internship as taking up most of his time and distance would be too hard, as if your almost two year relationship meant nothing to him. But whatever, it’s fine, who cares about him anyways. You do.

“What babes.” Robin took another sip of her beverage and looked at you, cheeks flushed with tequila and rum. 

“I have to pee and I don’t really wanna crawl under the table or go alone..”

Robin giggled slightly. “I was just gonna ask if you wanted to come with me!” 

“Fucking mind melded we are.” The two of you touched your foreheads together before bursting out into laughter. 

“Stop, stop I’m gonna pee my pants.” You were trying to catch your breath, Robin looking anywhere but you because if she did, she’d laugh again. 

“Bathroom Robin! Go go go.” The two of you hopped up, grabbing your phones and heading towards the bar's bathroom, doing your best to keep your laughter to the occasional giggle. It wasn’t gross in there, but you tried to touch minimal surfaces.The two of you sat in the stalls next to one another, talking about whatever came to mind, and when you went to wash your hands, your phone in your skirt pocket buzzed. You pulled it out to look at who was texting you. 

And you're callin' my phone, you're all alone And I'm sensing some undertone

“Oh my god.” You said, unable to stop the gasp you let out.

“What what what.” Robin leaned against you, peering over your shoulder. 

“Steve texted me.” You whispered. 

“What did he say.” Robin answered back in a whisper. 

Your phone started ringing and you dropped it on the sink. “FUCK. Robin. What do I do??”

“Don’t answer him.” 

“But—“ 

“Don’t do it.” 

“You’re not my mom.” 

“Don’t—“

“Hello?” You had picked it up on the last ring. Robin shot you a glare, peppering her hand along with your mouth, making fun of you. Her face made you giggle a bit. You heard him exhale your name. 

“You picked up.” 

“Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah baby.” 

You rolled your eyes, trying to pretend like the nickname didn’t make your mouth a bit dry. Robin assumed it was for her and stuck her tongue out at you. 

“What’d’ya want Steve?” You hummed, 

“I‘ll text you my new apartment’s address. You should come over.” 

“I’m drunk, not stupid Steve. If you wanted to see me then maybe you should’ve come out with all of your friends tonight.” You hung up, giving Robin a small little smirk before the two of you headed back to the table. 

“What a douche.” She muttered, holding the door open as she left. She missed the way you bit your lip and looked down at your phone. 

And I'm right here with all my friends But you're sending me your new address

Steve texted you his address anyways, and you liked it, telling him that you’d be there in twenty. 

It was only a three minute walk, lucky you. 

You were sitting at the table, now on the edge of the booth, listening to Jonathan’s new ventures while Nancy was telling Robin about some cute girl that came in while they were in the bathroom. 

You sighed, content, finishing up your drink, enjoying the company of your friends, but fifteen minutes passed by painstakingly slow, and Robin watched as your interest drifted away. 

She was correct in assuming the text from Steve had made you reel into your own mind, but she was wrong when it came to how upset you were about it. 

“I think I’m going to call it first guys.” You smiled at them, slamming down five, five dollar bills—leaving first meant you paid the price for it. 

Robin gave you a quick smile and handed you your coat. 

Your goodbyes were quick and filled with promises of seeing everyone tomorrow since you saw each other almost every single day anyways. 

As soon as you were out of the bar, you took in a breath of fresh air before sending the text. 

“omw” 

And I know we're done, I know we're through But, God, when I look at you My brain goes, "Ah" Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts) Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

This was not your smartest moment, but you were drunk, you were horny, and you were still in love with Steve Harrington. 

And Steve doesn’t do distance well, you knew that, but you weren’t expecting him to ask you for a break over the summer since you thought Steve loved you the same way you loved him.

Steve. 

Steve. Steve. Steve. 

Nothing but Steve. 

Not a single thought in your head was about anything other than Steve. The ways his eyes would rake over you, that stupid infectious laugh of his, his easily pullable hair, the kisses on your forehead, his fingers grabbing at your soft thighs, the pretty little sighs that left his pretty little lips—your body shivered the more you thought about him.

You chalked it up to the cooler air outside since it was almost midnight. 

Should probably not I should probably, probably not I should probably, probably not

One singular moment of doubt entered your head as you made it closer to his apartment. Only one moment. 

“This has to be such a bad fucking idea right?” You mumbled. But no one answered.

Seeing you tonight It's a bad idea, right?

“Think of the consequences here babes.” You sighed, pulling out your phone, realizing you missed a text from Robin:

"let me know when you get home babe!"

You sighed and liked the text before opening your notes app, a pros and cons list has just got to help...right?

Seeing you tonight It's a bad idea, right?

Pros would include:

Sex. Obviously. If one person was good at making you feel like a goddess, it was Steve Harrington. That man knew how to work your body like a violin, just to get you to make the sounds he wanted. You hooked up with someone a week after the breakup to try and get your mind off of him, but not only did you not orgasm, this bitch was a minuteman. 

Steve’s Arms. No explanation needed. 

Seeing Steve after a couple of months. You missed him, of course you missed him. Falling out of love is a difficult process and while the post breakup glow up is real, and beautiful, you couldn’t help but wonder how it affected Steve. He was one of the prettiest people you had ever met, so why wouldn’t he get even hotter? 

Steve’s Hair.

Being able to see Steve and be held by Steve. God you were desperate, it felt embarrassing. 

Seeing you tonight It's a bad idea, right?

Cons:

Seeing Steve. Obviously. That was going to wreck you. If you go and see him right now, you might never be able to get over him, and while you wanted to be under him, this might be a bad idea. 

Learning to not settle for good sex because making someone else make you cum is clearly more difficult that you truthfully wanted to deal with. High expectations for sex is technically good, but not when your ex was an Adonis who literally was addicted to eating you out…that’s something you might never be able to let go of again. 

….

Seeing you tonight Fuck it, it's fine

More Pros than Cons. Clear winner in your eyes. 

Yes, I know that he's my ex But can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend (The biggest lie I ever said)

It’s not like he said to come over and rekindle your relationship. You’re just…hooking up, friends with benefits. God you were a booty call for him. 

You haven’t seen him since May, since he broke up with you. At least he had the decency to do it in person, before he left. What a great guy. 

You're not sure who you're trying to lie to, but it doesn't stop you anyways.

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans I know I should stop, but I can't And I told my friends I was asleep But I never said where or in whose sheets

You double checked the numbers on the brownstone with the text he had sent you, confirming you were standing outside the right place. 

You shot Robin a quick text, hoping she wouldn’t notice that you got home too quickly this time. 

“About to get in bed! Kiss kiss bitch” 

“Sweet dreams babes ;) <3” 

“You have no idea.” You mumbled, walking into the apartment complex once you had been buzzed in. 

And I pull up to your place on the second floor And you're standing, smiling at the door And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men But I really can't remember when

“Missed me Harrington?” 

“How could I not, gorgeous.” 

“Who let you get hotter. Certainly wasn’t me.” You smirked at him, still feeling the liquid courage you had downed earlier. He looked good. You could spend all night eating him up, and you were going to. His tan was back, freckles along his face, and probably arms and back--you were surprised you weren't drooling when you looked at him.

“I could say the same for you. That’s a good look on you, how come you didn’t dress like that for me.” 

He was looking at you and you simply couldn’t decipher which emotion he was feeling. You saw lust, front and present, but there was a wave of something that kept flashing through. 

“You never asked.” You crossed your arms, grateful for the shirt you had chosen for the night, watching as Steve tried to give you the decency of pretending like he wasn’t staring at your chest. “Gonna make a girl stand in the hallway Harrington or…?” 

Seeing you tonight It's a bad idea, right?

Steve took one step forward and pulled you into him, lips on yours. You could melt right then and there, letting out a soft moan into his mouth. He tasted like bourbon and smoke and chapstick, plus something you never could figure out—Steve. He tasted like Steve. 

Your hands were around his neck, yanking on his hair, earning a moan matching your own. 

His hands on your waist, pulling you flush against him, as much contact as possible. Sparks flew off your skin when his fingers pushed your shirt up slightly, giving him the skin to skin contact he desired desperately.

Seeing you tonight It's a bad idea, right?

After about thirty seconds of making out like teens in the hallway, you moved your hands to his chest and shoved him lightly, making him stumble back a bit. His grip on you tightened, causing you to stumble into his apartment with you. 

“Feisty.”

You rolled your eyes at his antics, but your mouth betrayed you curling into a slightly smug smile. 

You were enjoying this, maybe too much. 

Seeing you tonight It's a bad idea, right?

You kicked the door shut with your foot, kissing Steve again, wanting to get as much out of this as possible because you don’t know what comes after this. But that’s a later, sober you problem.

Steve moved his mouth down to your neck, swearing up and down how beautiful you were, how he couldn’t get enough of you, how much he fucking missed you. 

He lightly bit your neck, sure to leave a bruise in the morning, but you didn’t care, not even remotely. He sucked on another spot, knowing it would elicit the sigh he wanted. 

You felt a finger tap your ass and you took your cue, hopping up onto his kitchen counter. You’ll make it to the bedroom eventually. 

Seeing you tonight

You pulled away for a second. Steve’s eyes were lust-blown, lips kiss bitten and puffy, hair messed up from your hands tugging at it. 

“Should we…” You mumbled, watching the way his eyes flickered up and down from your lips repeatedly. “Do you…”

“Y/N. I swear to god. Just kiss me.” He mumbled, lips back on yours, sparks cascading to the floor. 

You got the memo.

Not a single bone in your body regretted your decision. 

Fuck it, it's fine