#It's. So painful to think about...
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Chat I am so fucking sleepy and worn down by life and work and the need to always, always, be giving so much effort... I think I may just pass away. It's too much...
#In order to live out my dreams#I would need to put in like twenty times the amount of energy that I actually have#I can't do that#I'm being held down#Constantly...#Day in day out.#Work. The need to have a job. The need to make money in order to survive.#It keeps me from having the time or energy to put in to the things I actually care about#Remember TSTMNE?#Remember Mimiyanna streaming?#Remember how I used to be someone?#It's all been stripped from me#Because I'm just TOO TIRED#Always...#And the only way to escape it is to put in that effort that I can't muster#To make something else (namely streaming) viable#And that would take so long#I'm not misguided I know how difficult it is to build streaming as an actual viable career#But that whole time while I'm trying to make it happen#I'll still need to have my day job too because I don't have that kind of savings#And so I'll be burning the candle from both ends#And essentially killing myself#It's. So painful to think about...#I just want to be free.... Free to do what I want. Free to live.#But the society I live in will not allow that.#We've failed as a people...
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I read someone on here saying that this would have happened to Caitlyn at least once and - I strongly agree
#I also thought it was interesting that she seems to be avoiding her bed in act 2#makes sense though if you think about it a little :)#so falling asleep on her desk it is#more pain#you're welcome#mine#caitlyn kiramman#arcane#caitvi#piltover's finest
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the best person I know.
#genuinely cannot stop thinking about these two#I promised myself to not draw them too much because I have so much work to do#but oh well#take one more fanart#I love them so much#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives fanart#dbd#dbd fanart#painland#painland fanart#chedwin#chedwin fanart#edwin paine#charles rowland#the sandman#my art#digital art#ghosts#illustration
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I can't get over how scared caitlyn looks when she realizes she's about to be killed, that there's nothing she can do to stop it. she just regained consciousness, discovered that someone she trusted had betrayed her (had, perhaps, never been on her side at all), and then her one last attempt at resistance was brutally shut down before it even began.
the wide eyes. the way her breathing speeds up right before maddie pulls the trigger. this is caitlyn kiramman realizing she's about to die, and she is terrified.
#it's actually so horrifying#ambessa was so brutal about it#she wanted caitlyn to SUFFER for her betrayal#caitlyn is just so shell shocked and frightened in front of her OWN MEN#AMBESSA WHEN I CATCH YOUUU#arcane#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#and yes she's also in pain but i do think that's secondary to her fear in this moment
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS (2021-2024)
#pain........#arcane#arcaneedit#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane parallels#vi#jinx#powder#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#piltover's finest#vi arcane#jinx arcane#powder arcane#caitlyn arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane netflix#league of legends arcane#league of legends#type: gif#media: arcane#s1 ep3#s2 ep3#i know we talking about the parallels of the scene but can also talk about the colors?????#LIKE s1 color was red/orange and then in s2its like predominantly blue and i refuse to think this was done in coincidence....#the visual storytelling is just immaculate the colors contrast each other so well
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t-shirt that says 'touch starved' and on the back it says 'for violence'
#alex says things#thinking about when will just let himself be put through unimaginable amounts of pain just to be cradled so softly#will graham#hannibal#mine:text post
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Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara
They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them
But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd
The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭#so this is how i think it would go#it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls#she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire#she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko#and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj#even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers#zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her#little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd#n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her#i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful#and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald#in conclusion they are idiots your honor
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]
a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury
#comic art#comics#original comic#chronic pain#carpal tunnel#tendonitis#my art#original#edit: what a delightful surprise to see this take off#this was made for class on very low fuel and very few thoughts and late at night and exhausted#the prompt was just a wordless narrative essay. three pages. and i had nothing and no ideas#and my head hurt and i was too tired to think about doing any of the like. research and mind mapping and ideating i'd do otherwise#but my arm hurt#so i decided to do a thing about arm hurty#i'm surprised to see so many people finding it resonating with them#but then again i shouldn't be. the universal lies in the specific#i should make more things about smaller stuff
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#obsessed with their priorities
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#loki spoilers#it's got your shape to it... i'm sensing owen at work again 😂#banter for DAYS they're so married it's unbelievable#am i distracting myself from pain and suffering by thinking how hilarious it is loki's vocabulary now includes phrases like 'hoof it'??#maybe so maybe so :'))))#btw if anyone wants to theorize about the ep -#i'm going on record as assuming mobius getting hot cocoa on his own is the point where the timeline went wrong ;;;;#dianagifs#owenwilsonedit#marvel#loki s2 spoilers#ouroboros#o.b.#casey
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#I was going to add other things but there's something nuts in this being in only Illario's words.#Always thinking about the messy and fraught and just... the genuine grief and choked affection and fucked up love in this relationship.#I think Illario loves him despite it all. Despite the doom and murder. And that the demon thing is a genuinely maddening grief and guilt.#Exactly the same way that Lucanis loves Illario through it all even when it's full of pain and grief and rage and hurt.#I considered adding more Illario following Lucanis in Wigmaker quotes but that's bludgeoning the point a little. The steps one is best.#ty rosie for the screenshot on the codex entry so I can make this post#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#Tevinter Nights#Dragon Age#Dragon Age The Veilguard#Veilguard#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers#DATV things
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i'm on an itafushi kick and i am making it everyone else's problem
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM ok i just love them so much#thinking abt them makes my heart do this unpleasant clench-stutter-race#and i think thats love???? unclear#anyway they are not out of my system so have sketches i will exposure therapy myself into posting more rough pieces if it kills me#im beginning to think that one of the reasons ive been so averse to posting sketches#is the fact tht i havent allowed myself to play around with different strokes n textures so ! I Will Do That .#rough chalk brush my beloved dry oil brush my beloved uneven pen textures my beloved#but god i just. BITES them.#however . one complaint. when both parties in a couple have pointy hair n u have to make them realistically interact . pain .#>:( i know i love u triangles..... but u r pushing ur luck
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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Ghouls night out
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Scopophobia#Don't be mean Lan Wangji - the dead girl aesthetic is a curated one. Support women's rights to look dead!#I have been waiting for this scene for ages...the ghost girl entourage is such a good look for WWX.#And by gods does the audio drama actually do something interesting with one of them.#Namely that we actually get to see WWX talk with them and learn about who they were and what they left behind.#I love necromancer characters but it's way too common for them to be like “Go! Ghost no.145!” like they're a pokemon#and not...you know...someone who had a whole life that they left behind.#I love me a necromancer who has an awareness to whose soul/body they are using. It adds a lot of flavour!#MDZS is a little hit or miss with this. I think the fans do a lot of the work with making Mo Xuanyu a bigger character.#Yi City has this in spades. Even though we don't individually get character backstories#We get many painful reminders about how these 'corpses' were people.#We also get a few lines about how WWX used whatever corpses he could get his hands on (including grandparents - Woof!)#MDZS often (but not always) likes to remind us that every sacrifice and every ghost was a person.#It is so close to nailing the landing regarding the deconstruction of the necromancer character.#Anyhow. You may have noticed the uptick in quality in the last two comics. Rule of three means next one is going to be a treat B*)#See you all very soon!
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
#hell o void#hell o hadal#disabled#disability#invisible disability#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#mental health#agoraphobia#depression#anxiety#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#autistic#autism#i know this applies to more people but i am too tired to think of more tags and i really need to stop posting and do other things#but this is something i struggle with constantly and cant get over so#about#it hurts even more knowing that my friends who have done this are also disabled#like.... what do you mean they can overcome their disabilities and have lives why the fuck cant i do that
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This season’s repeat winners!!!!
Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls @brawngp2009 @korolrezni-nikolai
#pookie central over here huh#this is really giving those I Spy books from the early 2000s#this one is so overstimulating I apologize LOL#I’m lowkey not happy with this but it’s DONE#and that what matters#this perspective was such a pain#like god I’ve never had to think about what this race suits look like from exactly top down but I guess now I know#might post the speedpaint on insta#f1#f1blr#f1 fanart#annie’s art#f1 art#formulanni#formula one fanart#max verstappen#mv1#mv33#lewis hamilton#lh44#george russell#gr63#lando norris#ln4#oscar piastri#op81#charles leclerc#cl16#carlos sainz#cs55
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