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hwnglx · 3 days ago

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enhypen on cam vs. off cam

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

heeseung

on cam

nerves of steel. stable, patient, mild-tempered, agreeable. self-sacrificing, especially when it comes to the team. willing to give in and surrender for the group's sake. holds back and restrains himself a lot. grounded and down to earth. gives the team this significant and essential foundation of focus and practicality. he seems well-rounded artistically too, like the member who has the basic skills down to a tee.

off cam

not easy to satisfy. immensely high standards, good luck trying to have him be happy and content with.. anything, basically. i keep seeing him nagging and possibly micromanaging about minor things. also, can have his immature ways once he's in a negative headspace. more outspoken. will tell you things the way they are. more sensitive than what meets the eye. heeseung seems like the type to let out his inner negativity on others at times, which as a result he can blame himself for; this can cause even more dissatisfaction -> vicious loop here.. might have problems confronting and connecting to his emotions directly, chooses to run away from a lot of them. struggles expressing his feelings in a manner which accurately reflects his inner state of mind. goes back and forth between criticising and feeling sorry or guilty all the time. like he's in a constant inner turmoil.

jay

on cam

personable, easy to get along with. seems like the member who's best at creating parasocial relationships with the public. he's good at making you feel like you're connected, as if you're his friend. a lot of pride and smugness. knows what he can do for the team and isn't afraid to allow his confidence to shine. very much content in his element. can therefore bring a sense of positivity and optimism to situations. also, quite mature and reliable. good head on his shoulders. great business man. loves having people think he's “husband” material. like a grown guy with a strong sense of responsibility.

off cam

fancier. more out there and less restrained. likes showing off, and everything fancy and glamorous. is he the member who dresses up the most in terms of airport fashion? it's kinda giving that to me. seems proud of his fame and status. likes the feeling when people recognize him. more self-focused. cares about things like actively keeping up his popularity, making sure he's well-liked off camera as well. reputation is insanely important to this man. taurus energy is literally dripping from him. i could imagine him looking up his name a lot on social media. extremely ambitious. can get quite obsessive and lean on the gluttonous side at times. very “my way”. might go back and forth a lot, between trying his best to be charitable and accommodating with people around him, while also strongly holding on to his own values, principles and opinions. does not budge easily, you'll rarely catch jay being a pushover. stubborn as a rock once he's convinced about his opinion. more traditionally minded, holds beliefs that lean towards the more conservative side.

jake

on cam

youthful and bright, a childlike nature. sensitive to his surroundings with a dreamy quality to him, he can often find himself in a haze with his head in the clouds, i also heard “delusional”. at the same time, he can be very observant. quick wit. boldly speaks up when he feels the need to, and expresses himself bluntly at times. still presents himself as someone who's generally patient and tolerant, there's a bit of a hot and cold factor here. he's someone who seems calm and collected at first, but allows himself to step out of that once he feels strongly about something. jake can almost be like a child at his most emotional, but quiet and balanced once he's in work-mode. very hardworking, a diligent person who's continuously striving to reach higher goals and willing to put in the necessary effort.

off cam

passionate. gets random sparks of energy and motivation. definitely a “p” in terms of mbti. he's the type to feel strongly about e.g. a random hobby he found and obsess over it, just to get over it after a few days. burns hot once his inner fire erupts, but calms down just as fast. pours a lot of himself into every endeavour he faces. also gives off quite an individualistic and independent vibe, he doesn't really enjoy depending on other people to get things done for him. prefers doing it himself. detaches himself from people a lot of the time to gain a sense of inner balance. easily affected by his surroundings, especially by people's different energies. therefore needs his private space and alone-time to recharge. can be surprisingly introverted. a lot of internalised anxiety he tries his best to release when on his own. not someone to allow his inner stress to stand in the way of his work though. quite perfectionistic and hard to please in regards to himself.

sunghoon

on cam

chill, laidback, comfortable. easy to be around. not very reactive; in control of his emotions, rarely allows things to enrage him. and if he does, it's usually done in a tactful manner. i'd be surprised to ever catch this man fully lose grip on his temper while cameras are rolling. very mature as well, he knows how to present himself in a manner which shows off his best sides only. a lot of quiet but strong confidence he radiates to the outside. he's self-assured, and knows where his charm lies. a lot of natural charisma. his energy is very.. “i know i don't need to do much for you to like me.” like he's aware of the strong effect his presence can have on people.

off cam

good understanding of business. very protective of his career and what he's been able to build for himself. cautious about keeping it in tact. can be quite self-focused in that regard. can be much more “me me me” than you'd think, does desire and enjoy the spotlight to a degree, though he isn't obnoxious about it. i heard “don't ruin my moment” he doesn't like people getting in the way of his plans, feeling entitled to command him around, etc. very much a free spirit who doesn't enjoy having to majorly concern himself with others. careful and guarded when it comes to his private matters; draws a clear line between his professional life and personal life. adamant with his boundaries, i suggest not to cross them. holds grudges and stores much of his negativity inside, rather than letting it out. doesn't come without his insecurities, but they're likely to be so buried down, that he might not be entirely aware of them himself. generous, giving and supportive in his nature though. will offer a helping hand if he feels like someone is in direct need of it.

sunoo

on cam

another member who's quite conscious of his image and what he chooses to display to the public. wants to present himself in the best way possible. like i can see him straightening his back and stroking his hair out his face once the cameras start rolling. can slip in and out of conversations or situations depending on if he cares enough lol. quite intentional about when he speaks up, and when he stays put. although he can have his stand-out moments, usually sunoo prefers just blending in and not pulling too much attention to himself. knows he needs to go with the flow of the people around him, and stays balanced, as well as peaceful when cameras are on.

off cam

the type to work harder when people aren't looking. very much invested in continuously developing his skills and talents and improving his abilities. the type to plan out certain longterm goals for himself in his head without telling anyone, since he doesn't see the need to. for sure more focused on himself.. all i sense is him thinking about his own life. doesn't really concern himself with the group as much, has his eyes on his own path. this can also lead to him dealing with a lot of his negative emotions by himself though. someone who's more used to to withdrawing, and therefore more comfortable isolating himself when struggling. i can't shake the feeling sunoo feels like enhypen isn't the place that enables him to shine as much as he could. like his potential just isn't being fully realized. might feel quite stunted artistically and creatively because he has to match himself to six other guys. there's some pent up frustration here, and i don't really see him having much of an outlet for it. i can also sense some fear regarding his actual ability to stand on his own though; so he can easily feel lost. he doesn't feel like a true part of the group, but can also lack the substantial belief in himself to take steps in the other direction.. very pisces mars of him; he thinks of the idea of doing certain things, but often doesn't decisively act on it.

jungwon

on cam

worthy to note, that all i could think about was the group. he's very much aware of the unique responsibility that comes with being the leader. wants be a person of compassion and empathy for the team; someone who gives them the feeling of comfort. a resting place they can seek in times of stress. not only does he want for the members to be able to talk to him about anything, he also wants to be a source of confidence and inspiration. for the team, and in general. jungwon can often feel the need to remain strong and powerful for the sake of his group. i got reminded of this one quote bada lee once said about her dance team “if i fall apart, you guys will too” jungwon might relate to that in a way. he feels like the main guy pulling the ship forward. at the same time, there's some light and fun energy too. he doesn't want to seem too serious and strict all the time, and also make sure the atmosphere is enjoyable and lively for everyone. a little bit like a cool dad, lol. which is cute since he's the second youngest.

off cam

more business-minded. someone who's always making sure the professionalism is on par, everyone is aware of their jobs and does them orderly. can definitely get sharp-tongued and harsher with his words, if he feels the need to. will give you the reality checks you might be afraid of but are in need of to grow. his intentions are pure; he's just clear in what he expects from people and might not be the best at expressing it in a way that's more digestible for softer hearts. i can sense some fear in him of things going south for the group, so he's very protective over the place they're at now. will definitely be the one stepping up to argue if anyone dares to badmouth them. similarly to jay, he's also a member who can be quite focused on keeping his reputation up. might have a bit of an ego that gets in the way of him being easier to get along with though. i do see his ego being on the side of more quickly damaged, which can result in him getting defensive quite fast. make no mistake, he feels very protective over the group, but it's also because in his eyes, the course enhypen takes is largely reflective of how well jungwon himself is doing as the leader.

ni-ki

on cam

relentlessly hard-working, constantly trying to improve and striving for the top. someone who's just in his element when in work-mode. laidback and reserved. observant and attentive. usually keeps more to himself unless he needs to work. i see him being immensely perceptive, and sensitive to energies around him, which is why he can often consciously choose to detach himself. i got reminded of the quote that says “observe but don't absorb” a member who seems more uncomfortable about all the attention and eyes on him. prone to getting overwhelmed easily. the lines for on and off cam were more blurred for him. i don't see him being good at putting on a mask for the public, as much as he just chooses to stay quiet. it's like, if he doesn't showcase too much of himself, people have less things to judge him for. plus less things that distract them from what's important; his artistry. very professional. wants to primarily be seen and recognized for his work and craft. i don't see him enjoying fanservice, aegyo and silly stuff like that.

off cam

more self-conscious than what meets the eye. not easily satisfied, sees himself as a continuous student of his craft. very protective of his possessions, and focused on himself. can often feel like his work is the only thing he really knows and is good at, so he can be overly fixated on it. the type to get married to his work, to be honest lol. similarly to sunghoon, he doesn't like anyone rubbing their nose into his business. (the two sags, not surprising) can often crave a sense of control and stability in his life, and doesn't want people from the outside meddling in it for that reason. if ni-ki made a plan for himself, best believe he will go through with it till the very end. still, quite fair-minded. i don't see him being extremely greedy persé, but moreso holding himself to higher standards from the very beginning. wouldn't want to steal away anyone's opportunity, but wants to already be established enough, that he'd be first the choice anyway, if that makes sense. can feel trapped in his mind once he gets to a place of overthinking, and subconsciously set himself limitations that don't have to be there.

#kpop tarot #enhypen tarot #did not intend for these to be so long #pls remember energies are fluent so what im picking up on now #could be different tomorrow #enjoy the read <3

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rutobuka2 · 2 days ago

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I've been wanting to ask for a while but never was brave enough to. I'm not a very good artist myself but whenever I try to do a comic by the second panel; my art, mind and hand are all worn out from doing one panel.

How do you keep your panels and art style so consistent throughout the comic?

hi!! thank you for being brave to talk to me! I really enjoy discussing technique!

I think comics seem simple and easy to make, but they're a looong process.

👉First of all: start small. like, ONE page small. TWO pages, etc. just tell one joke, or one kiss, etc. it'll make the entire process less daunting. but do think of the beats of the story like...

1- character A is doing a thing 2- character B makes a comment 3- character A gets embarrassed

/ end

something simple, but you can cut up each little beat into two panels if you like, or just keep it at 3 and explain more with the dialogue.

👉for the drawing part, you should really start with a really ugly basic sketch to outline what kind of dialogue and story progression you want to make on each page.

this is a sketch of page 11 of my Bunny Crossing comic:

as you can see, I put a lot of focus on drawing the more delicate moment where Bilbo notices Thorin remembered the comment, so I just actually drew his face in detail there. But the rest was just enough for me to know later where each character is, or if I needed to draw a background, where the dialogue should go, and such.

👉divide your work into days. if it makes you exhausted, you can take one entire day to draw the rough sketch. Then, another day for the dialogue and speech bubbles. Then, another day to actually draw the panels and the more polished sketches of each character. Then, another day for the lineart. Then, shading. etc.

👉try drawing grayscale first. Don't add colors until you're sure you'll have the energy to finish it! It'll get you used to the process, you'll iron out any errors easier.

👉consistency comes from the process itself. I try to be careful while drawing the sketches for my panels, because a good sketch can help you so much in the long run!

👉look for reference on other people's work! manga artists and western artists have loads of footage of themselves drawing online, you'll get inspired for sure!

I hope this helped a little bit! Do respect your own rhythm! 💖 also, if it doesn't help, not everyone likes to draw comics, and that's ok! It IS a very repetitive process. static illustrations are amazing too, and I envy the skill!

#faq

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beuxwhoyouare · 10 hours ago

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Generational Trauma

Jiāháo was an unremarkable man by conventional means. Him and his parents fled to the U.S. when they were younger amid constant turmoil in Taiwan and nearby China. They fled to give him a future but they were still conventional in their values growing up. So Jiāháo grew up with their expectations in mind. Despite an intrigue in both men and women, his parents were quick to shut that down every time the brought up his future. condensing bisexuality to being gay. Making it seem like being bi was no real way to attain a future and the American "dream".

Coasting to make them happy he did what they expected and married the first nice church girl he was introduced to and had 3 kids. But living with other people's expectations is a recipe for disaster.

Despite a mediocre and equally unremarkable marriage, Jiāháo loved his kids. His 2 princesses, Nikki and Nina, were 12 years old, while his son, Noel, was 21 and living the life Jiāháo thought he would have once he got to America. You see, even though Noel never told his father, Jiāháo could tell he took after him in the bisexuality department always flirting with his friends at all ages. Always talking about the idea of boyfriends and girlfriends. Sparking a jealousy in Jiāháo.

That jealousy manifested into a nearly internalized biphobia. Jiāháo found himself hypocritically always at odds with Noel for his openness. As they say generational trauma is a cycle of abuse.

To the plain eye, Noel had a few things nearly anyone would be jealous of in all reality.

Unlike his father, Noel WAS conventionally attractive and had a personality to match. A charismatic energy that so many people gravitated towards, Noel was a star soccer player growing up that allotted him the chance to go to college for it. He studied rehabilitation science to become an occupational therapist and help people recover. A career path that essentially demanded he himself keep in shape if he didn't go pro for soccer.

Brains, brawns, and a face card that was hard to say no to, Noel took advantage growing up. Even if his family didn't always know it, he dated boys and girls his whole life. A long-term girlfriend broke up with him after 3 years of dating at uni, further fueling his drive to get into better shape than ever. Anytime he made his way home his family definitely noticed, Jiāháo being among the most jealous.

Walking around the house in tiny and revealing pieces of clothing illustrated a body earned by years of hard work. Jiāháo thought that should be me.

The family regularly made annual trips to Taiwan to visit the homeland but Jiāháo and his estranged wife did little to actually teach their children Taiwanese mandarin. His wife went out to the markets with their 2 daughters, leaving him and Noel to have a father-son day. Jiāháo wanted to be seen as the cool parent to Noel so much and the two went clothes shopping before Noel began to beg for a tattoo.

Almost as if it was fate a shop appeared around the corner from where the two were walking. A man approached the pair and asked in Mandarin if they were interested in a traditional tattoo for a discount if they both got one. Jiāháo thought it had to be a sign and said yes.

The man told the pair about traditional Paiwan tattoos that represented honor and dignity but told them his work has more meaning and even magic behind it. Of course the whole conversation was taking place in a language Noel didn't understand. He took reaction cues from his father who remained engaged in the whole story. Jiāháo got his tattoo along his back and spine, a rather edgy decision but he knew it'd be easy to hid at work and from his wife. Right as Noel was set to begin his in a similar section, the tattoo artist turned to Jiāháo.

"我知道你想要什麼。我在你的刺青上施了咒語，可以在他身上完成它。如果我這樣做，你就能得到你一直想要的東西。有機會過你應得的生活"

Shocked Jiāháo couldn't believe what he was hearing. What did he mean that he put a spell in his tattoo? What did he mean that he knows what Jiāháo wanted? It felt like time froze as he contemplated all his questions. Almost as if he heard his inner thoughts, the artist spoke looking back and forth at us both.

"我所需要的只是你兒子同意。你?"

Jiāháo froze again, a feeling of sinking setting into his stomach. Almost as if his gutteral response was speaking for itself, Jiāháo answered affirmatively and nodded at his son to do the same. Noel had no clue what was going on and naively said yes.

The session eventually ended and the pair walked away with their newest tattoos. Noel thought his father was the coolest dad ever after the bonding experience, but he couldn't even fathom that his father's selfish desires would soon ruin that perception of him.

A huge storm his the town that night and both men struggled through major pains and aches, both attributing it to major food poisoning. And when the pain felt like it reached a point neither could stomach anymore they both passed out.

The next morning, Jiāháo fumbled out of his bed and clumsily navigated his way to the restroom. He did it all groggily with his eyes nearly shut before grabbing a nearby shacket and walking out to go get a coffee or something to drink.

At the nearby convenience store he got a drink and paid before heading out to come back to the hotel. A young girl passed by and began to ask him for his number because she thought he was so cute. As Jiāháo answered it felt like the reply fumbled out as clumsily as he did flopping out of bed in the morning. Before he could muster out that he was married to the girl he caught his reflection in a nearby window.

Surely he was still sleeping or dreaming? He stopped his reply and ran back to the hotel. Running into the lobby like a mess, he found the closest restroom to find a mirror and confirm what he saw.

Noel's charming and stunning face stared back at him with nearly 80% less enthusiasm than he was currently feeling. He poked, prodded, and finished off by slapping himself across the face. Confirming this was happening. The artist was telling the truth. There was magic in that tattoo ink.

But that magic came with unspoken rules. Jiāháo wanted to check on the real Noel, but everytime he tried to pull his phone out to text him or call he couldn't muster the sentence to come out. Unbeknownst to him, the magic would not let either of them speak about what took place. Neither could say the swap happened or act any more way converse to the way they did before.

Jiāháo walked back into the hotel room to find his family dressed and ready to go out to eat. He saw his old body there ready but also with a hidden panic behind his eyes. It was an uneven trade in reality, Noel lost decades of his life and was forced to go through a miserably mediocre marriage. But Jiāháo got a chance to live the bisexual life he always wanted.

Noel was gutted. The family eventually flew back to the US and Jiāháo was forced to go back to uni and finish his degree as the magic made him, eventually both were forced to also find solace in their new lives. But speculation can only be had as to why a relatively young father like "Jiāháo" died randomly one day. But "Noel" knew the truth, his "father" died from sadness of the life he now lost.

Its another traumatic incident that once again fueled the new Noel to find solace in the gym. Like "he" had so often before, getting fit helped the heartthrob get through major trauma. Maybe generational trauma doesn't have to be a cycle. He picked up his phone and continued to plan his hookup for the night. Thank god for the genes he "inherited" from his ancestors that got him here.

#identity theft #male body swap #body swap

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knowledge-from-the-abyss · 3 days ago

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Protections and Wards

What are protections and wards?

Protections and wards can be pretty much anything; you can make protection jars using herbs, you can use crystals as protections, you can even do protections with just energy! There will be some simple examples of protections listed later on in this post.

Why do protections at all? What if I don’t believe in trickster spirits?

Even if you don’t necessarily believe in trickster spirits, protections are still important. Negative energy still exists, and protecting yourself and your space from that negative energy may make it easier to deal with negativity around you in your daily life.

What is the difference between protections and warding?

Protections are a generalized term that describes using energy and intentions to protect yourself and your space. Warding specifically talks about using ordinary objects, setting intentions on them (possibly doing other things like blessing them or consecrating them) to turn them into protections.

Below is going to be a small list of some ideas for protections and wards, both for the home and for yourself. This list is not exhaustive, and there are many different ways to make protections and wards.

Protection jars

Veiling

Protection jewelry

Handmade protections

Protection satchels

Crystals

Energetic protections

Protection oil (please make sure that any essential oil or oil-based products are safe for the skin and pets if you are going to be using this).

Protection candles (you can use color and scent magic for this as well!)

Protective sigils

Some of the methods listed, such as veiliing, protection jewelry, and crystals are a bit more ‘beginner friendly’. Please make sure you’re doing your research and setting clear intentions with any protections you’re making!

Here is a short list of some easy, generally accessible herbs you can use in protection jars and satchels.

Sage (please remember to only use white sage is you are part of that closed practice)

Lavender

Cinnamon

Rosemary

Bay

Salt

Pepper

Garlic

What is veiling/how do I veil?

Veiling is a tradition that has a lot of history behind it; essentially, veiling is the practice of wearing some type of headwear in order to protect your own energies from outside influence. You can veil in many different ways. Wearing a headscarf of some kind is a good way to veil, but you can also veil using hats, scrunchies/hair-ties, and even simple energy can be used to veil. For me, I have put an energetic veil on my head before while washing my hair in the shower!

Is there a right/wrong way to use/do protections?

There is not really a right or wrong way to do or use protections; you can use protections however you like to protect your own energy and your space! For me personally, the majority of my protections are not physical objects, I purely use energy and visuals for my protections. A lot of my protections are also baneful in nature.

Can I make protections to make someone not think of me/ignore me?

Yes, you can! For protections like these, I recommend illusion magic or protections specifically made to hide you from them. Veiling is a good option in this scenario!

How do I know I need to redo my protections?

This can get a bit tricky to discern; I highly recommend using some form of divination to figure out if you need to re-do protections. I also recommend generally keeping up with your protections as part of a weekly/bi-weekly routine. As discussed in my previous post about cleansing, working in protections while you’re doing mundane tasks such as cleaning can be a good way to do this.

As far as discerning when you need to redo protections, this will get a little complicated, so bear with me. First and foremost, please try to distinguish the mundane vs magical causes for things. While things like getting sick, feeling suddenly run down all the time, or having a bout of bad luck can SOMETIMES be indications of negative energy around you and the need to cleanse and redo protections, this is not always the case. Sometimes, life just sucks. This is again why I recommend doing divination as a way to discern if the cause is mundane or magical. I will be going more into divination methods in a later post.

How do I make protection jewelry?

Again, there can be a few ways to do this. I firstly recommend cleansing the jewelry you are wanting to turn into a protection. Please make sure you’re being safe when doing this (make sure you check and see if the jewelry can safely be submerged in water, get salt on it, etc).

Next, you can consecrate the jewelry in a few ways. You can use protection oil to consecrate the jewelry (please make sure that your jewelry will not corrode or anything with oil). You can also ask your deities/spirit guides to bless the jewelry for you and put their protective energies on it. You can also soak the jewelry in water and herbs (again, make sure that the jewelry is safe to go in water).

How do I make protective sigils?

Sigils are a very fun, easy way to make protections (as well as doing other types of spellwork). You can find sigil online, however I do recommend making them on your own. There are also programs you can find online that will help you generate sigils. You can also make them up on your own, go based on associations (like you could draw a candle, and have that be a protective sigil for instance).

This is not an exhaustive list that covers all forms of protection and all questions about protection, however I hope that this post will help some newer witches learn more about how to work protections into their practice.

#paganism #pagan witch #pagan #witchcraft #witch

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cry4mina · 2 days ago

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DYWTYLM? - Part 8

Take Me Back to Eden - Mina x Fem!reader

Word count: 8k

Angst/Fluff

Summary: Reader cooperates with authorities to trap Nayeon so they can lock her away for good but nayeon has other plans. Mina shows up for you in ways you never thought possible, solidifying your relationship and giving you reinforcement for the idea you already had.

TW: mentions of food, abusive partners, Nayeon is actually insane…death, knives, blood, suggestive moments, angst angst angst.

A/N: I was dragging my feet bc like only one more part after this and it’s basically an epilogue 😭 i fr love this series so much and I know I talk about it constantly but it’s just bc I’m just so proud of it. Thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope you all have a lovely day🖤🖤

A deep breath before entering the familiar building you used to call home, you look back to make sure the police are in their positions in the unmarked cars they drove over in to not tip off Nayeon.

A quick thumbs up to them before shifting your attention over to Mina who is in the passenger seat of your car. Parked in its usual spot, you can see her fidgeting and bitting her nails…she’s just as fearful as you are.

The worry in her eyes was very clear, even from a distance. Distraught over this plan you had concocted with the law enforcement to trap Nayeon and arrest her.

It won’t stop if you don’t stop it.

You are who she want and the sense of responsibility that you feel to protect those you care about is strong. Mina already got caught in the crosshairs…you couldn’t bare it if someone else was hurt by her.

Nayeon waiting for you in the apartment that held all the memories, good, bad, ugly, and even worse - the ones that weren’t yours too. All the energy that was trapped in that space, if the walls could talk, they would scream bloody murder.

9:45pm is when the cops were going to move in on the apartment, you just needed to keep her distracted while they moved into the building…you could do that. Looking down at your phone to check the time, it was 9:29pm already. Distracting her for 15 minutes didn’t seem like too big of a task but the fear of the unknown looms over your head.

What would she do or say while you were in front of her?

Another deep breath, you silently enter the building and make your way to the elevator.

It takes forever to get to your floor, the slow pull of gravity adds to your anxiety as the numbers go up,

Until finally you’re on the floor where this began…and where it was about to end.

Flashes of everything that had happen haze over your mind’s eye, showing memory after memory of what had taken place over the last month.

The note.

The text messages.

The rock through the window.

The banquet.

The hospital.

Everything she had put you through, now about to come to a head as you sulk down the hallway and to the wood that separated you from whatever would happen next.

The front door is intimidating, feeling the same rush of emotions as the first time you came back to this place after you found out about Nayeon cheating on you…but in no way did you think it would turn into this…nightmare.

It was a full blown terror now, seeing who she truly was, her true colors…it was all still so disorienting, even with the time apart. Having a hard time believing this is who she was even though you saw it for yourself.

You watched as she tried to take away your happiness for her own gain, you watched as she selfishly almost murdered not only you, but Mina…and what she did to Jihyo and the people she supposedly loved…all of you put in harms way.

A violent narcissistic temper tantrum was all it was and at the cost of all her relationships.

Taking another deep breath, wincing at the broken and bruised ribs, you take your second to calm down. Needing to keep her here and calm was the biggest thing so the police could do their job.

It’s hard to remain neutral when all you want to do is lash out at her, tell her that she will never be anything to you anymore but you know she’s not going to listen…she hasn’t listened the last few times you’ve said it, you suspect she would only be worse this time.

Wrapping your hand around the knob, you open the door- the creak of the hinges only adds to the tension already built up in your body.

Stepping inside, Nayeon is waiting for you by the counter, smiling and giddy, bouncing in her place with little happy movements- the exact opposite of that you were feeling.

“Welcome home, baby!” Walking towards you with her arms spread to hug you.

Flinching at the action, you take a step back and lift your hands to shield yourself from whatever she might do.

Nayeon stops in her tracks, sniffling and pursing her lips. Her brows furrow harshly, smacking her lips and going back over to the counter where she was when you walked in.

“Are you scared of me, baby?” The pain and sorrow reflected in her question rings through your bones, a dull ache that made its way down your body.

“You know the only reason I’m here is because you threatened Momo and Dahyun…and don’t call me baby.” anger filled words with the sharpest inflection, spewing venom towards the snake.

Nayeon lets out one chuckle, it’s evil in nature and aggressive.

“I figured that was the only way to get you here…Sorry about your little girlfriend. I know you’re probably mad at me for that, but you’ll forgive me in time. You will see that you and I are meant for each other.” wincing as she walks over to the couch, a predator who didn’t feel threatened finding a place to perch.

Nayeon plops into her usual spot and pats the seat next to her, looking you in the eyes to see if they have softened for her the way they used to.

Crossing your arms, the rage swells into fury.

“How dare you?…How can you possibly think that I would ever come back to you after everything you’ve done?!” Voice raising at every syllable.

“You cheated on me, stalked me, threatened to harm people I care about, you pointed a fucking gun at my face, you shot Mina, trashed my apartment, and you think that I’m going to what…just crawl back to you, Nayeon?! You’re fucking delusional!” Screaming at her, releasing every ounce of hatred you had.

A laugh that echoed the sound of pure hell added fuel to the fire the moment it left her lips. Nayeon stood up and walked over to the counter again.

“You don’t have a choice, baby! You loved me once…and you can love me again. Either you stay here with me…” unsheathing a large kitchen knife from the butcher block on the counter.

“Or you lose everyone you love and not just M-Mina…” Nayeon chokes on her name, a single tear falls from her eye.

The admission of her intent to kill only swells your rage more, the fire in your veins fueling every poison laced sentence you spit in her direction.

“Don’t you dare say her fucking name, Nayeon! You don’t get to play sad for the things YOU did…I’m not agreeing to anything you want, Nayeon. Not now, not ever.” Clenching your jaw while trying to wait out the clock but you’re getting more restless by the second.

Nayeon slides a piece of paper over to you, knife still in hand - a silent threat.

It’s a marriage certificate with her name and yours written on it.

“You sign this…” clicking a pen open and placing it next to the contract.

“Or I will take everything and everyone you love away from you…it’s your choice.”

The calmness she has about her is an eerie cockiness, batting her big brown eyes at you like it would make a difference.

Emotional whiplash, the bounce between insanity and the Nayeon you fell in love with makes your chest hurt.

You’re disgusted by her, her true colors are showing in a way that paints her in the worst light and her soft attempts to show you that the gentle part of her still exists.

Looking over at the clock, the time reads 9:40pm…only 5 more minutes. You just needed to keep her here for only 5 more minutes.

Picking up the paper and scanning it over, you look up at her to see the ring you purchased sitting on her finger…The pear shaped diamond in the middle with little diamonds laid into a rose gold band.

The one you bought planning to propose… the one you showed her after you found out about Jihyo…your face twists in disgust.

Pinching the paper at the top, you are sure to look right in her eyes and you rip it right down the center, tossing it mindlessly to the floor.

“Hear me when I say this, Nayeon…I will never marry you. In fact, the most peace I have ever felt was when Jihyo told me she shot you and that you were dead. For that day, I was completely and totally fine. You have terrorized me long enough.” Voice getting shaky as the fear clings to you, chest tightening with each word.

“Look at the lengths you’ve gone…look at how much worse it actually is. You’ve hurt more than just me in this, you’ve hurt Mina, Jihyo, and every other member as well…”

“Had you actually been the person you showed me you were, we could’ve had it all…but you aren’t and you never were…you never will be that and I do not want anything to do with you.” Hearing the words leave your mouth was healing in a way, something you had said to her previously, but she failed to understand.

“I already took her from you. Mina is gone, Y/n. So who do you have now? You need me!” Watching as she gripped the knife like she was trying to strangle it teeth clenched and muscles flexing and her own anger boils over…she’s about to crack.

“SHE STOLE YOU FROM ME SO I TOOK HER FROM YOU! SHE CAN’T HAVE YOU LIKE I’VE HAD YOU!” Slamming her fists down, shaking the counter and everything on it, huffing and breathing heavy while tries to expel the hatred of the one who “stole” you.

Nayeon winces at her own wounds before cackling manically and taking a step towards you, she pulls the knife up over her head and swings down at you.

Dodging the blade, you push her back against the counter.

The shriek released from her was hard to hear, the physical and emotional pain she was going through…you were there too but in a very different light.

“Nayeon! Stop this!” Backing up towards the door, reaching for the knob.

“Don’t you DARE fucking LEAVE! I ruined my LIFE FOR YOU! FOR US!” Another swing of the knife, her heaving breath filling the room as she continues to slash in your direction.

“I’ve been gone this entire time! You have done nothing but make my life a living hell! Put the fucking knife down!” Managing to maneuver around her swings quickly, expertly avoiding the sharp slashes as they cut through the air.

Fear takes over, terrified at the attempts to harm you again. How could it be so easy for her to just attack you like this? Grappling with the extent she would go to get what she wanted, you can’t understand even now how she would be so willing to harm you.

Managing to gain a little distance from her, you watch as her arm cocks back. Dropping to the floor you hear this whistle of the knife and a loud thud in the wall behind you.

The blade sticks into the wall, wobbling from the sheer force she threw it with.

Clock reading 9:43pm - you just needed to get through 2 more minutes and everything would be fine.

“YOU. ARE. MINE.” Throwing anything she can get her hands on at you.

Coffee pot, pans, silverware, the crystal vase…everything.

Dodging most things being pelted at you, the crystal vase hits your back - shattering and scattering all over the floor, a few shards imbedded in your flesh.

Sucking air between your teeth, you reach down to try and shakily pull the shards you can see out. The sound of the blood covered crystal hitting the floor shocks Nayeon out of this jealous filled rage.

“Oh my god…baby, I’m…I’m so sorry.” Rushing over to you with a towel to try and stop your bleeding.

Flinching on her approach, you take a fearful step away from her.

“Stop! Don’t touch me!” Tears now spilling, you move and the shards you can’t reach dig deeper into your side, torturously shredding you from the inside.

“P-please let me help you…” Nayeon is crying and sulking at her own mess, the craziness behind her eyes is still very present.

“No! I said don’t touch me!” sobbing as the terror sinks deeper.

Nayeon suddenly runs at you, swinging her fists violently. She manages to land a few punched on your face and ribs. The pain erupts from your chest, crying out into the living room where your illusion of happiness died.

Not letting you fall to the ground, she holds you up and drags you to the couch only to throw you down on it.

Straddling you, she wraps her hands around your throat and squeezes. Air being immediately cut off, you fight to get her off you.

“If you won’t be with me, then you won’t fucking be with anyone!” Hissed in your face as her digits tighten around your throat.

Fighting with every ounce of strength you have, you attempt to tell her to get off you but her grip is too tight. Tugging and pulling on her fingers, you grasp at her face and arms trying to just breath.

Vision is fading to black, you can feel the blood in your head trying to find a way out - tasting blood in your mouth…was this really it?

What about Mina? Thought to yourself…what about the life you could build with her. Her face flashes in your minds eye, you need to live for her…you can’t give up just yet.

Allowing your body to go limp, you lay still when you feel Nayeon’s hands retract. She starts bawling her eyes out, laying her head on your chest with her hands over her face.

“What have I done?…what the fuck have I done?!” Feeling her body shake on top of you while she sobbed into you.

Bawling your hand up into a tightly woven fist, you swing, knocking her clean off you and onto the coffee table - causing the glass top to break underneath her.

Trying to stand and catch your breath, there’s a heavy knock at the door.

Nayeon stands up, dripping blood from her back - panicking, eyes darting around to try and find her escape.

“You aren’t getting away this time, Nayeon!” Horsely yelled at her through the knocking.

Her face turns beat read, a fury like you’ve never seen before.

She walks over to the kitchen and pulls the knife out of the wall with a sharp jolt - never letting her eyes leave you.

Taking a step towards you, she hears the rattle of the door again.

“OPEN UP, IM NAYEON! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!” The burly sheriff yells, you hear the battering ram slam into the door - it budges slightly.

Nayeon runs at you, wrapping her arm around your throat to get you in her grasps. She places the blade on your throat and is waiting for the door to break.

The wood explodes out of the frame, a million splinters waiting to be had across the floor as the three police men file in, guns drawn and ready to fire.

The problem being you in the way, she was using you as a human shield.

“DROP THE KNIFE!” The sherif yelled, she did not comply.

“Put your guns down or I’ll slice her throat and let her bleed out.” Calmly, almost gentle in nature. How can she have such a calm demeanor, you can feel her heart beating out of her chest as she tugs you even closer to her, metal still to the skin of your throat.

Panic set into you, the adrenaline was too much and your heart was racing. Feeling the droplets of blood gather through the slices and drip down your side, slithering down your body - you hear a familiar voice breaking the concentration of keeping Nayeon’s knife off your skin.

“Nayeon…put the knife down!” An angelic voice rings from behind the men.

Hearting filling with dread as you break out in a cold sweat. No! Why is she here?! She can’t be in this dangerous situation.

“No!” You shouted past the officers.

“Don’t come in here!” Nayeon tightens her grip again, pulling you to get you to stop fighting her grasp.

Already fighting her way in, Nayeon gasps when she sees Mina slowly making her way into the room, tightening her grip on you and scooting the knife up higher on your throat.

Feeling the blade start to separate your top layer of skin, a single drop of crimson descends your throat, the police see this and take aim at Nayeon.

“Mina…W-what? H-how did you?” Mina simply raises her hand at Nayeon.

“Nayeon, let Y/n go…you know this isn’t what you want.” Her voice is so soft…and sweet…this is an awful time to swoon but you can’t help it.

Willingly putting herself in harms way to try and help you, to get you out of this situation. She steps in front of the officers and tries to defuse this.

“You don’t fucking know what I want, Mina! I wanted you dead and out of the picture but it looks like neither of us are going to get what we want!”

Nayeon’s tight grip of you faulters, you wedge your fingers under hers and push them a few centimeters away from your skin so the knife isn’t in contact with you anymore.

This is enough to distract her from everyone else, pushing against you to bring it closer to your throat to keep her leverage.

The push and pull ensues and no one makes a single move, cops won’t shoot because you’re in front of her, Mina is crying and begging for Nayeon to stop when it dawns on you…

“N-Nayeon! If you love me like you say you do…then put the knife down!” Strained and tired, the please escape you.

Nayeon hesitates, her grip loosens for a moment and you take the opportunity to break free - using her own strength against her and launching her back against the window, causing it to break.

Running to Mina, you wrap your arms around her. Safety with a beautiful face, you fight your sobs in the grips of her.

This wasn’t over yet.

“If you are with her…” Nayeon starts “Then I have nothing to be here for…” slamming the hilt of the knife into the already cracked window - the spill of the glass furthers everyone’s focus on her. There is an echo of the glass hitting the side walk down below.

Whipping around, you see Nayeon sit on the window sill, the cops are shouting and you take a massive step towards her.

“Get off the window! Now!” The men yell, but her focus remains on only you.

“Y/n, I love you…I’m sorry.”

“STOP!” Yelled, tearing your vocal cord with the shear force of the scream.

Everyone freezes, silence fills the room.

“Don’t do this, Nayeon. Please.” Begging through tears, you can feel Minas energy shift.

Taking another step forward, you watch how Nayeon is analyzing you…only one way to save this, only one way to save her…not wanting her to take this route out, you were going to see this through.

“Nayeonnie…please don’t do this…if you love me, you won’t do this…” reaching a hand out to her, trying to get her to co-operate by using her own tactics against her.

The old nickname rings through the room, hitting her ears and creating a tense moment of old memories. A sob breaks from her chest, reaching for your hand and locking her fingers with yours.

“Come on, let’s go…we can figure it out together, like we always do…right, baby?” This seems to be working, she’s got her hand in yours, hyperventilating as the ocean pours out from her eyes.

“Don’t you get it, Y/n?” Nayeon sniffles.

“There is no out.” Swinging the knife and slicing you across the chest violently, the unexpected movement as you thought you had her in your grasps by giving her what she wanted.

A loud boom claps through the room as the warm crimson spills out from your skin, it’s a surface wound - thankfully but the blood is still ever flowing.

Looking at Nayeon and watching it in slow motion as the blood spilled from her own chest…her knees hit the ground, dropping the knife on her way and toppled over onto her side - gasping for air and coughing up her own life force.

Instinctually, you rush over to her and places your hand over her would to keep the blood in. The cops call an ambulance, and you try to hold in the tears now that the danger has been quelled.

“Y/n?” Choked out between wheezes and coughs.

“Yeah?” Sadness in the tone of your reply, you never wanted it to come to this…you wanted her to be held accountable but…this is…not what you imagined.

“Can I…ask you…something?” Her voice getting quieter as the sentence carries on.

Nodding your head, a tear breaks free from your eyes.

“Do you believe we can turn into different people?” Almost a whisper this time.

“I watched it happen to you…” replied through the tightness of your throat and the ache of what was happening in front of you.

“Do you wish that you loved me?”

The questions burns in your ears, stinging it’s way down your neck to your chest and down to your stomach.

“…No. I wish I didn’t.” Words hitching as you sniffle through them.

Nayeon lets out a soft chuckle, lifting her had with the rest of the energy she had to wipe the tears from your eyes.

“It’s been so long since I’ve touched your face, I forgot what it feels like…” tears of her own spilling as she chokes on more of her own blood.

“I wish I never reminded myself…I tried to fix it all but…nothing seemed to help.” Breathed through the trauma she had endured throughout this night.

“I’m sorry my love…I’ll be better in the next life.” Coughing and hacking after the sentence only for her body to go limp in your arms, eyes open but staring at nothing as she takes her last and final breath.

Time is frozen for you and you only, the cops lift you from her and move you over to Mina who is still crying and waiting for you with open arms.

“Get her out of here!” The cop instructs Mina, she guides to the door and into the hallway.

“Let’s go downstairs and wait for the ambulance to get here, okay?” Staring at your hands, covered in Nayeon’s blood and seeing your own shirt soaked in a mixture of yours and hers…you come up with responses or even know what to speak out loud.

Mina takes the lead and takes you out of what once was your home, now only serving as a point as a headstone to the memory of Im Nayeon.

—

The sherif and first responders bring down the gurney with the body bag on it, packing it into the second ambulance and sending it off to the morgue.

The EMT responsible for stitching up your chest and removing the shards from your side mentioned to Mina that you were in a state of shock and should be okay in an hour or so, offering to let you sit on the tailgate of the vehicle until you were okay to drive.

Mina never left your side.

Not once since she had you again.

Phone vibrating next to you, rattling against the metal and startling both you and Mina. She picked up the phone, answering it quickly.

It’s Momo.

“Yeah, Y/n is okay. A few more stitches in her chest and she’s in shock but she’s okay…Mhm, yeah…” Mina looks at you with sad eyes, she was going to say it out loud.

“Momo, Dahyun…Nayeon is…Nayeon is dead.”

Silence.

“She was shot by one of the police officers. She tried to kill Y/n with a knife…it’s a lot, I know…Yeah we can meet you there once Y/n calms down a little more…okay…okay text me the address…alright I’ll see you soon. Bye.” Hanging up and sitting next to you.

Reaching over to Mina, you grab her left hand and lean your head on her shoulder. Wrapping her right arm around you, she just holds you closely. Giving you a forehead kiss and cooing that everything is okay now.

The only thing that felt okay, was her.

—

Mina hired people to clean up your apartment, paying the lease and moving you in with her. After a few weeks you and her both were mostly healed, ribs no longer broken…only the physical and emotional scars remain.

Though you lived together, most of your relationship was taking care of one another’s wounds and making sure the panic attacks had someone to combat them but what you really wanted was to build on the already solid foundation.

It was hard.

On both of you.

The girls came over every few days to check in, making sure that you both were doing okay. Momo called you every day, coming over most days of the week to cook for you and Mina.

Appreciating everything that everyone was doing to show up for you, there was a grey wash over you. Something you couldn’t explain, but it was noticeable to everyone…you weren’t as cheery and joy filled as you were…before.

Often waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, panicking from the nightmares of Nayeon holding a gun to your face or a knife to your throat - you would sob and Mina would hold you.

Three months of this was driving you crazy, never truly resting the way that you needed to, you drowned in your head and your thoughts - the flashbacks so unsettling that all you can do is sit still and hope they pass quickly while trying not to cry.

The lack of sleep caused you to not be present more often than not. Unable to hold a conversation for longer than 5 minutes or focus on a tv show, playing video games…food was uninteresting, skipping meals most days- it worried Mina more than she led on.

One particular night, after jolting out of sleep from a nightmare, you got up and put on a robe to cover your mostly naked body before strolling into the living room and wandering to the balcony. Taking a seat in one of the rocking chairs, just taking in the calmness of the night when you heard the door creak behind you - startling you.

Mina steps into the moonlight, still in just her panties.

“Mind if I join you?” The tiredness in her voice made you want to send her back to bed but you knew she was going through the same things you were, but she was trying to be strong about it for you.

Nodding your head, she walked over to sit in your lap, her legs horizontally across your thighs so she could lean into you. Her skin was cold against yours, even with the chill, you welcomed this contact with her.

Throwing part of the robe over her legs and covering her back with the other part as best you could, you both just sit in silence, keeping each other warm and enjoy the night sky together.

Looking up at Mina’s beautiful face, your eyes trace down her body to the scar where the bullet entered…your throat tightens, eyes watering as you bring your finger up and lightly trace it.

“I’m sorry…” choked out through the attempt to keep yourself from sobbing.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, baby.” Reassuring you, placing a hand on the back of your neck and slipping it up into your hair.

“If I had jus-“

“No.” Cutting you off before you could finish the sentence.

“You did everything you could do. She was the one who couldn’t respect that she made a mistake and took that out on you and I…that’s not your fault…that’s her fault.” there is a hitch in her breath that makes you hold her just a little bit tighter.

Tears streaming down both of your faces, she traces the long sliced scar across your own chest and you sigh.

“My reflection doesn’t smile back at me anymore.” Whispered through the silence of the night, followed by your sniffles and you trying to clear your throat.

The silence continues for a moment.

“Your reflection is missing out…Mine smiles back at me because of you.” matter of factly stated.

“Because of me?” throat closing as you speak the words out loud.

“Absolutely because of you. You are amazing, Y/n…you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner and so much more…you have shown me that even in the worst of times, life can still be great. Look at what we went through together! Look at all what we survived…together. I know that things have been a little rough after the fact, but we are still building…and my intention is to keep building…with you.” Lightly crying in the memory.

“You and I, we can get through anything.” Smiling through the tears she had.

“Y/n, I love you…” cupping your face with her hands and kissing you softly.

The warmth of her love radiated through you, evaporating any doubt or self blame you were having. It was nice not having to question if she was telling the truth or not. Every single display of love was in her actions, though this was the first time she actually said it out loud, you had known for a while.

Lips parting, she placed her forehead on yours, looking you in the eyes.

“Okay?” With a silly tone, eye wide trying to provoke you to giggle.

“Okay.” Smiled back at her.

Rocking in the chair together for a few minutes, you realize that this is what you always dreamed of. The fantasy of having someone who wouldn’t give up on you, the openness to be able to talk about what was bothering you…hope for the future…

Mina, this type of undying love….this was what you wanted.

“Hey, Mina?”

“Yes, my love?” Facing you to make sure you know that her attention was yours.

“I love you too.”

She rests her head on your shoulder and sighs, relaxing her body into yours. This brings a comfort to you that you can’t elaborate.

“Do you want to go on a date tomorrow?” Feeling her voice reverberate in your chest as she asks.

“I would love to.” Planting a light peck on her forehead before resting your head there.

Continuing to sit calmly in the moonlight together, anticipating tomorrow as you calmly rock back and forth.

—

The brightness of the sun wakes you around 11am, calmly waking up for the first time in weeks. Mina is laying in your arms, still sleeping peacefully with her face in your chest. Not wanting to wake her just yet, you admire the calmness of the morning you’ve woken up to.

Mina shifts in her sleep, leaning into you more, and clinging to you even more. A small giggle erupts from you - feeling her smile into your skin, you stroke her hair.

“Good Morning, beautiful.”

“Good Morning, baby.” Her eyes still closed, tilting her head back and puckering her lips - asking you for a kiss.

Happily granting her wishes, you kiss her gently - a few soft sweet pecks before sitting up in bed. Nails tracing shapes on your lower back as you look over at her.

Bare faced and beaming up at you, you can’t help but think about how you got here. Everything that has transpired, all the heart ache and the worry…all of that leading up to this moment of waking up next to someone who would never dream of putting you through that.

In fact, she cares so much that she went through it with you…hand in hand.

Sighing, you lay back down with her, facing her and brushing a piece of hair out of her face just to tuck it behind her ear.

A bright gummy smile beamed at you sleepily, warmth in its light.

The sun couldn’t imagine the brightness or the warmth that she filled you with. Despite the scars and wounds you had both suffered together, she was still here…in the lowest point of your life she was a consistent ray of shining effervescent light.

“Do you know how special you are, Mina?” Tone turning serious for a moment, first thing in the morning.

“I could ask you the same question.” As she takes your hand off her face, softly kissing your palm before cuddling your arm.

The idea sprang into your head, something thought about in passing but too scared to focus on - you weren’t so scared anymore.

“Did you have anything planned for that date tonight?” Eyebrow raised and lips pursed.

“I was just about to ask what you wanted to do.”

“I’m…highjacking this date!” Jumping up and throwing on a pair of pants and a shirt.

“Hey! Where are you going?!” Leaping after you, wrapping her hands around your neck and clinging to you.

“I just highjacked a date, Mina! I have to make it special if I’m stealing it from you!” Smirking at her.

“Anything with you is special.” Kissing from your neck up to your jaw, making you totally weak in the knees.

“M-Mina! Stop trying to seduce meeeee!” The way you whined at her brought out that beautiful smile again.

Grabbing your wallet off the dresser, you hand her one of your cards.

“Baby, why are you giving me your card?” Confusion in her tone and concern on her face.

“Tonight’s date is all on me. All of it. So, do me a favor…” wrapping your arms around her waist and scooting her back to the bed so she’s seated.

“Take my card, go get your nails done and get an outfit for tonight.” Kissing her one last time before heading towards the door.

“But-“

“No buts! Unless it’s yours, then yes…butts.” Blowing her a kiss and slipping out the door.

Her giggle follows you.

—

Getting yourself a new outfit for the date as you were still replacing everything that was destroyed.

A medium grey sweater that hugged you perfectly, some fitted black slacks and black dress shoes. Mina would go crazy seeing you in this and that’s what you wanted.

Walking back to the car, you try not to pay too much attention to what’s across the street from the store you were in.

You hadn’t been there…maybe you should go. You know the number of the plot…

Before you could argue with yourself further you were pulling into the dirt parking lot and stepping out of the car.

Walking down the isles and counting until you hit the one you knew it was at.

Taking a deep breath, you walk to the stone and read it.

~Im Nayeon~

~Forever in our hearts~

Fans had scattered the grave with wreaths, photocards, flowers and candles that had burnt out all their life force.

You were just happy none of the fans were here to see you visiting so you could have your peace in this moment.

The company did a very good job at covering up how it all happened, burying police reports and blaming it on a car accident.

JYP had been collecting letters sent to the company for you, the world not knowing what she put you through…they offer sympathy but it only caused you more suffering. You opted not to read them.

The online comments about you being with Mina were hard to swallow, everyone placing bets on who you’d be with next when they had no idea what you had already been through with Nayeon.

The world never knew what she was or who she was. A secret kept from everyone in order to protect the privacy of Twice and you while you all healed.

Staring for a minute, you drop your head and have a moment of silence with yourself.

The birds are chirping, the sun is bright and you were about to propose to your girlfriend tonight but you were here…somberly staring at the cold stone slab that Nayeon was buried under.

“I’m going to ask Mina to marry me today, Nayeon…I know that probably doesn’t sit well with you.” A dull whisper of wind pushes your hair out of your face as you sit down in front of her grave.

“What you and I had…it wasn’t love…it was never love…and I know that because what you put me through is something I would never put Mina through…I wouldn’t have put you through it either.” Eyes staring to well up in anger and sadness, tears falling and hitting your pant legs with a thick rhythmic thwap.

“But…Mina is exactly what I’ve always wanted…she’s what I thought you were.” Taking a deep breath as you carry on.

“It’s still so hard to wrap my brain around. How did you go from humming in the kitchen and trying to make my coffee perfect to…shooting her and stabbing me? And what you did to Jihyo? I just…” choking on your words, face twisting in discomfort.

“Not in this life or the next…Goodbye, Im Nayeon.” Taking a second to blink the pain from your eyes, another deep breath, you stand up and walk back to your car.

You’ve got some preparing to do.

—

Next to stop for flowers, and then you’ll be ready to go and pick up Mina from your shared apartment.

Though it hadn’t been long since the two of you had been together, it felt like a life time. There was nothing you were more sure about than marrying her.

Grabbing a bouquet of 2 dozen roses, you are officially ready to return back to your apartment.

Pulling into the parking lot and going up the stairs, you hear the shower running. Taking the moment where Mina was distracted, you set up the flowers in the living room. Frilling them out and making sure they were perfect.

Once that was done, you went into the room - removing your shirt and pants on the way and heading straight for the bathroom to join Mina.

Angelic singing echoing against the tile, her shadow behind the frosted glass washing her hair.

Stripping out of your underwear, you knock lightly on that glass.

“Room for one more?”

“Hmmmm, I suppose I could make room.” Winking before stepping to the side and letting you into the drizzle of the shower head.

—

Mina stayed in the bathroom to dry her hair and style it while you went and got ready in the room. Slipping on your new slacks, you grab the sweater and slide it on before brushing it out as a nervous tick.

A spray of the sandalwood perfume you like and a watch, you’re almost ready to go.

Sneaking over to your sock drawer in the dresser and pulling out a little suede box and stuffing it in your pocket quickly.

“I want to surprise you with the dress I got so go to the living room when you’re finished!” Shouted with excitement.

“Yes Ma’am, leaving now.” Stepping out of the room and closing the door.

Thinking it is a little chilly outside, you should probably grab your jacket. There was a charcoal grey peacoat you had that would match, and hand an inner pocket to hide the ring.

Putting the jacket on, you tug the ring out of your back pocket and pop the box open.

It’s perfect.

An oval diamond on a platinum band with two smaller diamonds framing the one in the middle, classy and elegant just like her.

Closing the box, you put it in your jacket and take a deep breath. Nerves getting the better of you as you wait.

It didn’t take long for Mina to emerge from the bedroom. Hearing the door open, you turn your head to see your beautiful girlfriend.

Holy.

Shit.

A bright candy apple red cocktail dress, hair done in large beach waves with a nude lip. The embodiment of heaven blessing you with her presence, elegant and sexy…you were very lucky for so many reasons and very aware of that.

“Oh, wow…” standing up immediately, you walk over to her - jaw to the floor.

Suddenly Mina gasps at the roses set up for her on the coffee table.

“Honey! These are so beautiful!” Running over to them to stick her nose in them and take a deep whiff of their fragrance.

“Thank you.” The eyes she’s giving you sends a chill, jaw still on the floor at her in this dress.

“Can you help me?” Pointing to her back and turning around to reveal her zipper half way down.

Oh, the nerves persist, rattling you to your core. Hands shakily taking the small zipper and tugging it up, you release the metal and hear it rattle.

“Are you shaking? Did you eat today?” Concern in her voice, she turns around quickly to face you, brows furrowed in worry.

“Yes, I did eat.” Sheepishly, trying not to make eye contact.

The warmth in your cheeks gives you away to her.

“Y/n L/n, are you blushing right now?” Her hands go to hips, the smirk she gives you makes you cover your eyes.

“You’re cute when you blush.” Reaching for your fingers to hold your hand.

“You might still make me nervous…” timidly expressed with a chuckle.

“Nervous?! We are just going to dinner, my love! No need to be nervous.” Kissing your cheek and grabbing her shoes to slip on.

Strapped black heels to finish the look off and a black clutch to match.

Catching her eyeing you while she fixes the straps on her shoes, you wink at her and taking the moment of separation to grab her long black jacket out of the closet.

“Thank you for getting my jacket baby, and can I just say…you clean up so well.” Winking back at you as you hold her coat open for her so she could easily put it on.

“Thank you,” kissing her and admiring her.

“Ready?”

Mina nods her head at you, you hold the door for her while she steps out and you’re off on your date.

—

Dinner was smooth, taking her to a fancy steak house around the corner for your apartment. The food was great, the atmosphere was quiet and the conversation was immaculate as always.

Unsure of how you were going to pop the question, you just let the night take you where ever it may.

A glass of wine or two and you were feeling less nervous than before, now it was just a matter of timing.

Unwilling to ask her in public, you tried to think about what you could do or where you could take her that would be romantic and still personal.

“Wow, the sunset looks really pretty tonight.” Pointed out to you as you left the restaurant.

“Do you want to go watch it at the park?” Perfect idea.

“I’d love that.” Smiling up at you as you set off.

The park only being a block away was a big win, especially with her in those shoes. Clinging to your arm the entire way there, you find a bench in front of a stream and watch as the sun goes down.

Mina’s head is resting on your shoulder, still holding onto your arm and sighing into relaxation.

“Hey, Mina?”

“Hm?”

“Well…” the nerves returned rapidly as you start your speech.

“You know you mean the world to me? You’re so kind and caring, intelligent, thoughtful…I really respect and admire the person you are.”

*Deep breath, keep going*.

“Everyday, even the days that wouldn’t classify as great, since I’ve met you, you’ve only added to my life. I’ve grown so much…I value myself more, and I finally know what love truly means. Through out the relationship we’ve built, you constantly show up for me…you are an amazing partner and friend.” Running out of breath, forgetting to inhale and exhale while you talk.

Mina is looking you in the eyes, tearing up as you continue.

“I would not have made it through…the situation we were in without you…and to be honest, I don’t want to know another day without you as my partner. You are everything I dreamed of and so so so much more.”

Standing up and kneeling down on one knee in the gravel, you pull the box out of your jacket, anxiously trembling as you pop it open in front of her.

Mina’s hands cover her mouth as she gasps in shock at the ring, the tears are now freely falling as she covers her entire face with them.

“Mina Sharon Myoui, w-will you marry me?” Quivering through the most important sentence of your life.

Mina is aggressively nodding her head yes, sniffling and choking back happy tears while she extends her left hand towards you.

Slipping her ring on her finger, you kiss her hand and stand up only for her to follow you in a massive hug, sobbing into your neck and squeezing you.

“You are everything to me.” Her tightened throat squeaked out.

Meeting you face to face, placing her hands on your cheeks and bringing you in for a kiss drenched in pure love.

Resting your foreheads together, you’re smiling at each other- holding each other and living right in that moment where you’re supposed to be.

This is what they talk about in movies. This is what the love songs are written about.

This is Eden.

“So, future Mrs. Myoui, what would you like to do for the rest of the evening?” Starting to walk home hand in hand, Mina’s ring finger sparkling in the moonlight.

“Anything.”

“Anything?” Eyebrows raised, she has something in mind.

“Mhm, what are you thinking?” Kicking a pebble on the street as you walk.

Mina can’t seem to shake the smile she has, you share that sentiment.

“I can think of a few things, actually.”

“Oh, really? Like what?”

“Well, I might’ve bought more than just this dress…and I’m going to be honest, I’ve been staring at you all night.” A glimmer in her eye, a look.

THE look.

“More than just the dress, huh? I’m intrigued.” raising an eyebrow at her.

“…it’s actually under the dress.” Casually dropping the information.

“Drinks before dessert?” as you turn the key to your apartment.

“Whatever you want, soon-to-be Mrs. Myoui.”

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lullabyalikpoptarot · 2 days ago

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BTS' Thoughts on Being an Idol Part 2

Disclaimer: I am claiming no facts here. This is just my interpretation of the cards I get. Need to make this so people can see, because they bring the tea here. All is alleged.

I feel I have energy to get to this reading for this weekend. So, let's see what they feel like sharing for this segment. This went how I expected to go. I thought they would be more silent, but nope. They spilled some tea. Here you go. This is pretty long, sorry, but they had a lot to say

Seokjin

Thoughts on company? (The Star/9 of Cups/Queen of Swords) They fulfilled a wish from him, made his dreams come true. They did make him the star he is today. He does feel a bit exposed and had to pour a lot of himself on to others, which can get too much at times. I think he tries to focus on the good and blocks out the negative aspects as much as he can. He sees the company as pretty cutthroat, critical, a bit cold, not that loving and compassionate. I get feminine energy here. I do see them being open to hear his thoughts and opinions, but they don't show much compassion.

Thoughts on Industry? (3 of Pentacles/The Hanged Man/Wheel of Fortune) There is a collaborative effort to get things done, kind of do what you are told, follow orders. I see him having not much input. Maybe he feels hung to dry and sometimes put in difficult situations. He sees things continuing to keep moving and money made here. It is like he goes through the motions. He doesn't really invest his energy in the industry too much. His energy feels pretty nonchalant about things.

Effect idol life has had on him? (3 of Swords rv/King of Cups/The Moon/King of Pentacles) Well, this question he seems the most passionate about, cards flew out for this one. There are some things he hasn't healed from or worked through or he can't really communicate the things that has made him upset. I am getting again, about being exposed somehow. There could be some things that he hides and doesn't want to share. There are a lot of emotions he is feeling though. He could feel slighted by this KOP's. I asked for a clarifier and got the hanged man, this goes along with the question above I guess he feels upset that this person leaves him hanging out to dry. He seems to have a different viewpoint on this KOP's now, maybe he has new insight to this person that he didn't have before. This KOP's could have put him in a lot of difficult situations.

Trajectory or direction he wants to head in as an idol or the industry? (6 of Pentacles/7 of Pentacles/Death) Dude, why did I have to get the Death card here, do not like that card, but it could mean he wants some ending or change to happen, for some things to end. He wants to be paid fairly and got what he is owed, I felt that in the question above to, but didn't feel like sharing it, but getting that sense here too. He may want to create his own image and not the one concocted for him by others. Maybe that is what he wants to end, like the death of the image they created of him.

Man, his was hard to interpret as usual. I struggle to understand his messaging, but didn't expect to get as much as I got, thought he would be mute. I mean he didn't give me anything too wild though, but interesting stuff.

Suga

Thoughts on company? (10 of Pentacles/The Devil/Page of Wands) Don't think he is a fan. Well, he knows the group is their money maker, put out there for display. They have to carry a lot of the weight for the company. He feels binded and contracted to stay with them. This just gives me like a toxic relationship he can't get out of. On these two cards all I see is money, so they all they care about his money. Not sure he can leave even if he tries. He does want to venture out and explore new things. I think he wishes they focus on the creative aspect and let him create more or be more creative. He may feel they are a bit hesitant to try new things. He may feel they play it safe sometimes.

Thoughts on Industry? (5 of Pentacles/Knight of Swords/3 of Swords) He feels there is loss of money there, maybe he feels they can't make much money in the industry. There could be a lot of debt, lack of support and they leave you out to dry. Umm, I am getting he wants to know where the money is going. I heard that when I was looking at the 5 of Pentacles. That's interesting, maybe that is what he is pissed about. This sounds like the story of every boyband in the world. Stealing money and not giving the members their money's worth. I feel this man has a lot to share about the industry and I can see him sharing his hurt and frustration about it, not sure how that would work out. But he seems pissed with how they go about things. I just heard, 'I want to tear them to shreds, so yeah.'

Effect it has had on him? (2 of Wands/9 of Pentacles/5 of Cups) It has allowed him to harness creative energy and work on his vision. It may have fueled a fire in him. I see him wanting to be independent and stand on his own. And shedding the idol image, now can he do that or will he do that, not sure. I see him having a vision of wanting to do things on his own. I see him feeling down how things have not worked out how he wanted.

Trajectory or direction he wants to head in as an idol or the industry ? (The High Priestess/The Magician/4 of Pentacles) Interesting to see the high priestess and the magician, both for me has to do with magic spells, so not sure he knows any spells to manifest things into his life, but he may try that, but overall, I see him trying to create a way to control his money flow, or to retain the money he has or gets. I am just getting this sense of I need to have control of my money. So, that is what he is going to try to do.

Well, I felt he would be more vocal and bring some tea, and he did.

J-Hope

Thoughts on company? (2 of Swords/The Emperor/The Magician) He seems to be at odds with a powerful figure in the company, could be Bang PD, but not certain, but someone who inserts their control, pretty strict and can get aggressive. It is about what he creates and how he uses his skills and talents. I don't see either one backing down here, but they don't agree at all with the direction each want to go in.

Thoughts on Industry? (The Hanged Man/9 of Wands/2 of Cups) He might have accepted things for what they are and has a whole new outlook on the industry. It is like there isn't much he can do about things; his hands are tied. He sees that the industry beats you down and are all for the money. Once again, the pact card pops up from this deck. I had to get some other cards, because wtf does this mean. I got the 8 of Swords, which gives me someone wanting to look away, this is something they cannot face, talk about or address and now the 2 of wands, which in this deck, this card can give me sexual favors and acts, not sure he participated, but he may show he is aware of it. I wanted another card and got the 4 of Pentacles, it is a means to control their career and keep them in line that is what I am interpreting here. Moving on.

Effect it has had on him? (8 of Swords/10 of Swords/The Hanged Man) He kind of tries to shield himself from it. He may try to not address certain things, or he just keeps silent and can't express what is going on. He may feel a sense of entrapment. I see a lot of thoughts weighing on him, it is mentally tasking for him. But once again, he is showing my hands are tied, not much I can do.

Trajectory or direction he wants to head in as an idol or the industry ? (10 of Cups/3 of Cups/3 of Pentacles) Sometimes that 3 of Cups gives me party favors or rituals, but what I am seeing is, he wants more positivity and to radiate positive energy to others. He wants a loving family community in the industry. He wants more love, joy and hope around being an idol and the industry. He would like people to work better together. For the idols and company to work as a team. It is like what they show to the public is how he wants things to be, or maybe that is what he will try to do as an idol moving forward.

I was not expecting him to share as much as he did, since he comes off as wanting to hide the tea, but guess not, thanks Hobi's higher self/guides for the insight.

Thoughts on company? (3 of Cups/8 of Cups/Queen of Cups) This is giving me similar vibes to one of the Aespa girlies reading. I just hear, I don't want no part of this shit. There are things they do that he doesn't want to be a part of. It has to do with woman, drinks, parties. It is like they get offered stuff from woman; drinks it could be. I am getting orgies from the 3 of Cups. But he wants to remove himself from that. I am getting shown a vision of him at a party and woman offering drinks, it may be an industry party. Okay, I can't go further unfortunately. I feel like I am being pushed out, like I can't go deeper unfortunately, they aren't letting me, I feel some resistance, but that means I am on to something here, darn it. I feel he tries to give me insight, but I get pushed out lol These companies got some strong ass protective shields, but with that money, they better lol You guys win this round.

Thoughts on Industry? (The Sun/The Emperor/7 of Wands) What I am seeing is that I don't think he likes that they control young children, that is how I see this spread. I see him wanting to take a stand against them for this. Okay, got something else they control your true essence, that maybe it. The Sun is about the Ego, your authentic self. He doesn't like that they contain that. The first message could apply too. They can steal their creativity as well. Or dim it.

Effect it has had on him?( 4 of Pentacles/The Fool/6 of Wands) He has learned to control and invest in his assets. He may have learned not to take risk. He has learned to have a competitive spirit and learned to win at all costs. Yeah, he may have been more of a risk taker before but isn't as much now. There needs to be a level of control around him, or he needs to have control of things. There is this competitive drive he has gained through this experience. I am hearing to defeat the enemy, not sure what that means, but okay.

Trajectory or direction he wants to head in as an idol or the industry? (5 of Cups/Temperance/The Hanged Man) I think he is trying to find balance. For people to compromise more or will try to. He wants to try to view things differently. I see him wanting to step away to. I am not sure what the 5 of Cups means, like he may want to focus more on the brighter side of things. Maybe he wants to be aware of all the downsides that he has went through, there is a silver lining to it. It is like he was put in a difficult situation, so he wants to find a way to improve the situation that he may not be able to control through his own mindset. It is like he may not control outside circumstances, but he can control his inner dialogue. It is like he wants to find inner peace, and this is how he can do it.

Another one with some interesting tea and once again, that protection that is around him is persistent. But still got something

Jimin

Thoughts on company? (5 of Cups/Page of Pentacles/Ace of Swords) This 5 of Cups is showing up a lot. I see him facing disappointments and regrets. It is hard for him to see the bright side of things when it comes to the company. He is patiently and cautiously waiting for his next steps. He could have a plan to take some sort of stand of defense, not sure anything will be done with that being an ace card. It is like he has an idea to further progress his career, but it is not fully well thought out. I mean this doesn't say much about the company though. They may leave him little room to grow and flourish when it comes to his career. It seems like he may be a bit stunted.

Thoughts on Industry? (The Devil/Page of Wands/Ace of Pentacles) Well, I got the toxic card, so there is that. There is a lot lurking in the shadows when it comes to this industry. Money could be tied to some dark stuff. The number of times I get this card is wild. They kind of shield your creativity. They don't really allow too much creative freedom. They are really about the money and how they can make that. This makes sense.

Effect it has had on him? (2 of Wands/4 of Swords/Death) Ugh, I keep getting this sh** There are 78 cards in this deck and these two cards had to come out, together! This pisses me off. Once again, the 2 of Wands and with the 4 of Swords in this deck, gives me sexual favors/acts, sorry. I was pissed when I saw the 2 of wands but then got more pissed when the 4 of swords came out after it, and it is literally someone naked on a clouded bed. This annoys me and I don't know what this death card means and not sure I want to know. I feel he has lost a part of himself due to this, maybe this is why he feels so disconnected in my readings. I can also see the 4 of swords as them shining a light on their vulnerabilities. Alleged, just a feeling, but that card is making me feel there could be videos and photos of him as well. F*** this industry if true.

Trajectory or direction he wants to head in as an idol or the industry? (2 of Pentacles/3 of Pentacles/8 of Swords) There could be people he wants to build a team with and work with, but this 8 of Swords is making game feel sad. I heard, help me, it is like he is trapped and kind of has to do what he is told. I am sorry I needed more clarification on that 8 of Swords and got the knight of cups and the moon, so how I interpret this is that he has kind of blocked himself off from his emotions, kind of getting that dissociation energy here. It is like he blocks his emotions off to not feel his emotions, due to the fact that if he does feel things that things that haunt him will come up again. That is how I see it. It now makes sense why this dude tries to escape and distract himself. I might need to go read his perspective reading again, because this is making me sad. And I feel there is something there that could help me understand this messaging better. I get an ominous feeling about what is going on with this man. I asked for one other card and got the knight of swords, so it seems he may want to go after someone or defend himself to this person, someone he works with, so he could be pissed off at someone. He seems he is coming with a vengeance.

Alright, that one was rough, moving on. I knew this one would take me a long time to do but want to finish this. So yeah, looks like he has been through it, and I feel this industry has messed him up. Allegedly. This is why he feels so disconnected, dissociated energetically, it makes sense to me now.

Thoughts on company? (8 of Pentacles/Page of Cups/9 of Wands) Didn't I get that he was being watched in a reading or observed by the company? Because I am sensing that with this card's imagery on this deck. It is like they always try to put him to work and keep him busy. This page of cups was so hard for me to grasp. I keep getting pulled to the cup with a fish on it and got surprised or unexpected events. This made absolutely no sense to me, so pulled another card and got the 10 of Pentacles, once again, I get this vibe that they try to keep him under lock and key, because of the money he brings to the company, so they try to contain him, it is like Tae can be a bit out of control. I don't think I can avoid saying this, man, why do I have to get these messages, I hear pregnancy, so not sure if there was one with him or a scare, or they are fearful of him getting someone pregnant, but yeah, maybe this is why they keep him under observation. Anway, he is important to the company and their money, so they make sure he doesn't slip up. I tried to avoid saying this but so be it. No facts, just going with the message I get. I see him taking a stand against the company and fighting back as well. He has also dealt with some battle scares with them as well and has been pretty beat down by the industry as well. It is a tough industry to be in.

Thoughts on Industry? (King of Wands/King of Cups/Page of Pentacles) Not sure if he sees that the industry can inspire change and can bring love and compassion to the world. This makes no sense to me. Or maybe he wants that. He would like more passion and compassion. It seems for him it takes a long time to grow financially and build support in the industry. He may feel there needs to be more stability in the industry. And there is a lack of growth and maybe cultivating artist in the industry. I see him thinking there should be improvements with how one climbs the latter. Interesting messaging, because it does not fit with the cards, but going with the messages I get. I feel like it fits with his unique way of seeing things, so yeah.

Effect it has had on him? (3 of Wands/The World/The Magician) I don't see a lot of negative impacts here, seems quite positive. Like this has allowed him to expand himself and get a global reach. He is able to share his talents with the world. And put himself out there, so he is pretty positive about things when it comes to the idol life. It is like this is something he has always wanted for himself.

Trajectory or direction he wants to head in as an idol or the industry? (The Fool/Justice/6 of Wands) He wants to wipe the slate clean, maybe start all over. He wants to receive justice. I am getting fair pay. There is this fighter and winner spirit he has to seek what he wants. I can also see him wanting to take a risk, maybe that means starting over again, who knows. There is this energy of wanting to defeat others. I hear take them down and get what he feels he deserves.

Hs wasn't too intense thankfully

Jungkook

Thoughts on company? (9 of Wands/10 of Swords/The Sun rv) He doesn't feel highly of them. Feels battered, broken and bruised. He feels mentally drained, betrayed, and backstabbed. I do see with this 9 of wands he does stand up for himself. I just hear, 'you can't beat me down.' He won't go down without a fight. But he can get really down in the dumps and there are a lot of heavy thoughts that weigh on him, due to the company. They have dimmed his light, took his youth and just hidden the light he has within him. The sun just reminds me of brightness, life and youthful energy and it is just mostly gone from him, due to the company. I just get he is a bit jaded.

Thoughts on Industry? (7 of Cups/Knight of Pentacles/3 of Cups) Ugh, thought I would be safe here, but no. The industry sells you a fantasy and delusions. Not what you see is reality of how things are. To further advance their career, they may need to entertain parties and yeah, you guys know this part, but that is what I am seeing with this. There is money put into this too, is what I am sensing here too. I just hear them telling him, go, you will have fun, shit like that. I kind of don't like that I get this, but I feel this insight is needed to understand that backroom deals that might possibly be happening.

Effect it has had on him? (Page of Wands rv/10 of Swords/4 of Cups) I just want to hug this boy. Well, they didn't nurture his creativity at all or take care of him or keep him safe. I feel he may get depressed and have lots of negative thoughts due to the idol life. He is basically emotionally done and drained, pretty much emotionally numb due to all this. I don't see this man taking any offers from the company. I just see him pretty much closed off right now.

Trajectory or direction he wants to head in as an idol or the industry? (Queen of Cups/The Hanged Man/Page of Pentacles) I think he wants to connect with his emotions and share that with others, especially the fans. He wants to spread his light and love towards others. I see him wanting to pour his love to the fans for some reason. He wants to try to look at things differently, kind of like Namjoon, trying to learn and accept the difficulties of this life. And like Tae, he wants growth to be organic, oh that just came out, I was going to say something else, like what Tae said in his part, but I guess he wants it that way. Like more of a slow process, not things happening too fast, now that could be for the industry.

I don't know, but the more I read for him. The more I adore him. But also feel a bit sad. Him and Jimin seemed like they went through it the most.

And I still don't get how I get resistance from only Namjoon's energy, but not the others, like why Namjoon? is it because he seems to share the most or know the most? I get blocked off from Namjoon's energy, but not the others, because they all gave me tea here, not just him. But that is what I have for them for this installment. Hope you enjoyed the read.

#kpop tarot #bts tarot

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jinxsleftmiddlefinger · 1 day ago

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timebomb highschool au

(part 5)

(pt1) (pt2) (pt3) (pt4) (read on ao3)

description: timebomb highschool au pretty much sums it up lol. there’s also canon storylines (vander death, vi conflict etc.) but translated into a modern context

note: I’m really sorry if there’s any mistakes im so tired rn 😭😭 also speed of chapter updates might slow down a bit now but I will try to keep it steady!!!

It was just too easy.

It’s like this whole school fell into her traps, let her do what she wanted. The universe was basically telling her to prank the poor souls of Zaun High.

Jinx went to vandalize the locker thinking that there was no way she’d get through with it. Someone had to walk down the hallway, someone had to catch her, and yet…

No one was anywhere near. She finished writing ‘Dickhead’ in big blue letters on locker 27 without a single eye catching sight of her. She even managed to add some extra decorating touches.

Jinx skipped back to math class, her spirits high. No one even noticed the paint now staining her fingers after coming back from the ‘bathroom’.

She glanced quickly at Ekko sitting beside her, absorbed in his notes. Her lips lifted up slightly when she thought if their text conversation the other day.

Do I make you nervous, Ekko?

She was pretty good at this flirting thing. Not that she was flirting, of course. It was a joke. A hobby, a way to pass time, that’s all.

Ekko wouldn’t like her anyway. Maybe he’d like her face or her body or the pretty words she could make up, but he wouldn’t like the real her. That’s what sent them all running for the hills.

Jinx’s phone started buzzing in her back pocket, and she regretted not putting it back on Do Not Disturb. Even though it was on silent, it still buzzed against her chair, making a noticeable noise in the silent classroom.

The teacher turned around from the board.

“Does someone have their phone?”

The class stared blankly. Jinx didn’t show one bit of a reaction, and the teacher turned back to writing on the board, writing sounds and breathing the only noise in the room.

Jinx slowly removed her phone from her back pocket, looking around to make sure no one was staring. She shifted forward in her seat, putting it under the table, and made a conscious effort to make sure it didn’t look too much like she was staring at her crotch.

Vi: I’m really sorry. Please, can we give it another try?

Vi: I won’t bring her this time.

Jinx’s lips pressed together, staring at the messages. She almost had to wonder where her sister got the audacity from. Before her fingers could start typing out an offensive and colourful message, Vi sent another text.

Vi: do you want me to come to your house?

Vi: I just want to talk.

Vi: I just want my sister back.

She fought off the urge to laugh. Vi’s sister was long gone, killed the night Vander died, the moment Vi yelled and hit her and left her. Powder was dead. That’s almost what she typed, what she told Vi, but her fingers were somehow compelled to say something different; like an ouija board.

Jinx: ok.

Jinx: this saturday.

Jinx: no girlfriend.

Jinx rested her phone on her thigh, momentarily tuning back into class. The teacher drawled on and on, things she already knew and everyone else should know too. Her eyes were already blurring the numbers and equations on the board, turning the teachers voice into a buzzing like an air conditioner in her ears, when she was woken up by her phone vibrating on her leg.

Vi: thank you for giving me another chance

Vi: I’ll be there (:

Vi: (No girlfriend!)

Jinx almost smiled. The messages had so much of her sisters energy in them, she could practically hear Vi’s voice in her ear. Well, the Vi from before’s voice. She didn’t know if the Vi from the here and now was the same. Maybe she was more serious, mature. Maybe she acted older. Jinx hadn’t really figured that out from their brief interaction at the mall.

The thought of the mall made her look at Ekko again, just out of the corner of her eye. He looked kind of cute, all focused on the class and the paper in front of him.

Jinx quickly shifted her eyes back to her own desk and banished that thought from her mind. She did not have time for boys right now. Not even cute ones.

Class ended with just a few more minutes of zoning out. Lunch was next, and that was the easy part of the day. She never really went to the cafeteria, usually just wandering the halls or going outside if the weather was nice.

Today, her plans were interrupted in a very violent way.

Jinx jumped, her reflexes not fast enough as her shoulders were grabbed and she was shoved against the locker behind her. A gasp escaped her chest, the impact winding her.

“Get off me!” Her body thrashed widely in an attempt to free herself from the grasp of whoever had attacked her.

“You bitch!” Her attacker roared, holding her upper body tighter, and that’s when she recognized him.

Messy light hair, dark brown eyes glowing with rage, teeth bared. Yes, this was the owner of the locker she had so lovingly decorated this morning.

Jinx laughed breathlessly. “What, you didn’t like my decorations? That’s a shame, your locker was so plain before. Really, you should be thanking me.”

He pulled her forward, only to slam her back against the locker again, even harder this time. She breathed heavily.

“Don’t fucking play with me.” His breath smelled like old cigarette smoke and gatorade. “You think that’s funny? You think you’re gonna get revenge for her?”

Jinx knew what her meant. His ex-girlfriend. Although she had of course heard the rumours of him cheating, of him just being a general asshole, she didn’t write ‘Dickhead’ on his locker for her. She just really couldn’t stand this guy’s attitude.

This guy whose name she couldn’t even remember. This guy who was holding her up against a locker.

“Fuck. You. You think you own this school? You think you’re so great, so clever, Jinx?” He huffed, clearly pissed.

Dickhead was seeming like a more and more fitting nickname by the second.

His hands dug into her harder, and she knew what was going to happen. He was going to slam her into the lockers again, or swing at her, or do something to hurt her. And she was so helpless without her tricks, her smoke or glitter bombs, her gadgets. She was too weak to even defend herself against this asshole.

Just as she braced to take a hit of some kind, the dickhead was suddenly off her just as fast as he’d been on her.

She pulled herself off the locker, dazed and blinking at the scene before her; Ekko, dragging the dickhead away from her and throwing a punch. Him, throwing a punch back. A fight.

She wasn’t registering it fully, and then she was registering it completely.

“Hey! Stop it you two!” Jinx stepped closer to the two boys. “Cut it out!”

She would not let Ekko get hurt just because she couldn’t defend herself. That was stupid. She could already see his bleeding nose, though it wasn’t for nothing. Dickhead had a nasty black eye, another mark blooming on his cheek.

The whole ordeal stopped when Sevika appeared around the corner, stepping in between the brawlers and raising an eyebrow at a Jinx who was still breathing way too heavily.

Both boys stared up at the buff school receptionist, holding them back easily.

“Okay, you three.” She said bluntly. “Time to go to the office.”

Jinx sighed.

As they followed Sevika silently down the hall, a walk of shame almost, Jinx looked up at Ekko wiping the blood from his face.

“The boy saviour,” She muttered to him, making him look at her quizzically. “My big, fat hero.”

22 notes · View notes

the-fiction-witch · 2 days ago

Text

May I?

Media - The Maze Runner Series Characters - Newt Couples - Newt X Reader Rating - 18 + ABUSE/ abusive parents/ fingering/ nudity/ bj/ eating out/ breast play/ nipple play/ pinv/ full sex/ raw sex/ Word Count - 4944

Newt lay snuggly in the warm, soft sheets of the base. His arm draped half off his top bunk, enjoying the real bed after so very long. But a noise stirred him slightly, a clattering of metal and a scrape of plastic wheels. He didn't think much of it, maybe someone was just shifting in bed or a nurse moving people around outside the door.

But the sound got louder and louder until even if his eyes were closed he saw light flood the room. He just pretended to be asleep keeping his eyes closed and listening.

There were heavy footsteps, and mutterings he couldn't make out at first so he listened closer,

"They're out. All of them."

"Good. Makes this easier."

"Shall we get moving?"

"Go on, just make sure not to bruise him up. Don't want the other's noticing too much."

He felt hands reach out and grab for him in the darkness, making him flip out and yell protesting against these men.

"Get him out. Now." Janson ordered,

A hand clamped over Newt's mouth silencing him and keeping him still as a blue needle was shot into his neck. The moment the liquid was gone he began to feel dizzy and drowsy his eyes fluttering closed. The men tossed his body down onto the stretcher and buckled him into restraints.

Newt tried desperately to fight against them but he had no energy to do so and the last thing he remembered before slipping beyond consciousness.

Was a large white room with blue screens, and a man all in white looming over him.

"I'd say you won't remember a thing, but that's not strictly true. You'll remember everything."

Newt woke in a brightly lit room. When his eyes cleared, he saw he wasn't alone. Across the table from him was Janson. But Newt felt strange to see him. He was still frightened, still hesitant, still suspicious, but now he felt he had a hundred more reasons why. The more he looked him over, the more memories returned to him, and one made itself known so strongly in his mind that he had to speak it.

"D-Dad?"

"Hello, Newt." Janson smiled,

"Wha- what's going on?"

"Your memories will return, it takes time. A few days to remember everything."

"Wh- why am I here?"

"We need to have a little chat,"

"About what?"

"I sent you into the maze with a purpose. Do you remember?"

"…No," He shook his head,

"I sent you there, to keep them there. Use your skills to build the glade, keep them alive, and keep them all safe and sound in the glade."

"I was?"

"You were. and you failed." Janson said, "I'm not angry. Just… disappointed in all the work we put in."

"I- I'm sorry I didn't know I-"

"Perhaps keeping your mind with theirs was part of the issue. You couldn't retain your purpose after the wipe. But no matter, you won't be making that mistake again."

"I won't?"

"No. We've restored your memories, and we're giving you this." Janson said sliding across a small communicator and tracker, small enough to fit inside his ear, "And giving you a new job."

"Which is?"

"Keep them here," Janson ordered,

"What?"

"Keep them in the facility, and if they do happen to escape and try and run off god knows where. Remind them what Wicked has given them. Remind them to come home."

"Why would I do that? There my friends. And they don't have any reason to trust you."

"No, but they trust you." Janson said, "And you trust me… don't you?"

"I-..Yes."

"Good, do your job and I promise you and your friends will be safe."

Newt wandered back to the dormitory still fiddling with the communicator and how strange it felt in his ear.

"Where the hell have you been!" Minho snapped as he got back,

"Ohh I had to go see a doctor." Newt lies,

"Are you alright Newt?" Y/n asked as she came closer,

"Nothing to worry about, I just had a bit of a tummy ache that's all." He shrugged to everyone,

"So long as you're okay." she smiled,

"Good your back," Thomas nodded, "Cause we're getting out of here."

Immediately he heard his communicator hiss on, meaning his father and others were listening, "Wh-What?"

Thomas revealed the pass he had stolen, "We need to find out what's on the other side of that door. If no one leaves we need to know. and we need to get out of here." Thomas explained, "There hiding something! These people are not who they say they are."

"Keep them out of that room." Janson's voice echoed through his ear making him flinch slightly,

"No!" Newt spoke up,

"What?" Y/n asked,

"No, you don't know that." Newt tried to reason with him, "All we do know. They helped rescue us from wicked. They gave us food, new clothes, a proper bed."

Thomas began, "I know but-"

"Some of us haven't had that in a long time." Newt told him, "Some of us… a lot longer than others."

"Good. Good work." Janson told him before the hiss fizzled out,

But Aris burst through their vent and ushered thomas away anyway,

"Maybe you guys are right, maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I need to know." Thomas nodded before he scampered away.

Newt sat waiting for thomas to return already feeling a little strange for guilt-tripping his friends. Y/n soon came and sat down beside him, He didn't pay her much attention, he barely ever did. She'd been in the glade as long as he had and didn't really think much about her as she kept to herself mostly.

"Newt? Are you feeling okay?"

"Humm ohh yeah I'm fine."

"How's your stomach?"

"Wh- Oh! Yeah, yeah feels better now they gave me some medicine."

"Good, I'm happy you're feeling better then." she smiled,

Before he could say another word Thomas and Aris returned bursting through the vent in a mass of shouting and panic,

"We have to go! We have to go now!"

Immediately he heard the hiss and flinched again,

"Newt? You alright?" Y/n asked having noticed him do it this time,

"Yeah… yeah just uhh just my ear being weird again." Newt brushed her off, "What's going on? What did you see?"

"We have to go. We have to go!" Thomas yelled again trying to tie a blanket around the door,

"Thomas will you just stop and talk to us!"

"It's wicked!" He yelled and everyone silenced, "It's wicked. It's still wicked. It's always been wicked. We have to get out of here! Now!"

Newt tried to think of something, anything he could say to make them stay as everyone made their way into the vent to escape.

"Let them go. Stay with them. we'll track you just stay close and we'll turn them around once they calm down." Janson ordered,

"Okay…" Newt agreed,

"Newt come on, Aren't you coming?" Y/n asked,

"Yeah! Yes, I'm coming." Newt nodded following her into the vent.

Finally, after the madness of the escape, they had a moment of respite inside an abandoned mall. And finally, thomas explained what he saw. The tales of bodies, blue liquid, faces behind glass. It all resonated with all of them. Even Newt as more and more of his memories were returning to him many of which he didn't want to see again.

"Okay…" Newt nodded, "So what's your plan?"

"I… well…" Thomas began,

"You do have a plan right?" Newt asked,

Thomas had no answer,

"Well we followed you out here thomas and now you're saying you have no idea where we're going or what we're doing?!"

"Good… Very good," Janson whispered in his ear,

"Well… Janson… he said something about people in the mountains some kinda resistance or …amry." Aris explained,

"If that's true… they can help us," Thomas added,

"The right arm is a myth. Ghosts and nothing more." Janson whispered,

"…People? In the mountains? Mountain people? That's your plan!" Newt asked,

"What other choice do we have? We gather supplies and head out first light." Thomas explained,

They walked the dry, dusty sand for days wrapped up and bundled with supplies any chance Newt got he tried to reason with thomas and let him see his madness, but he never listened. Any chance he got to lead them in circles he did making it easier to be found or get them lost.

They stopped for the night by some half-buried cars and built a fire for the night. Still grieving the loss of Winston.

"I thought we were supposed to be immune," Minho said,

"Not all of us." Teresa sighed as she reclined to Newt's side,

Newt had begun to notice how close to him Teresa had seemed to stick, she had been pushing thomas to go back just far less subtle than Newt was. He wondered if he had convinced her… or if she too had an unknown agenda.

"If Winston got infected… we should assume so can the rest of us," Newt told them,

discussions continued about what they could do to keep themselves safe and Y/n came and sat down beside Newt to make her bed for the night.

"You mind?"

"No, go on Y/n." he smiled at her,

"Thanks," she smiled, "…Newt?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Course,"

"…I kinda miss the glade."

"You do?"

"Umm… it wasn't always nice but… it was home you know."

"Yeah, we did really make it out home didn't we." he smiled, "I miss it too… Just the little things like where the sun used to hit the Glade at that perfect moment right before it slipped beneath the walls. The taste of Frypan's stew. I never thought I'd miss that stuff so much"

Y/n laughed, "It seems a far cry now… I'd sell all jackets for a taste of bacon now."

He laughed too, "Yeah, I would too… would… would you want to go back?"

"…No." She answered, "I miss it. But we can't go back. Only ever forward. I know we'll find something as nice… someday." she smiled leaning her head briefly on Newt's shoulder,

He gasped a little and felt butterflies in his stomach, he looked down at her and… he realized he'd never really looked at her. Well of course he had! But… never LOOKED at her. He just saw her, as the girl of the group their grubby little girl who never much involved herself with them. He'd never really thought about her as… a girl. Just another glader. But now as she sat in the said her head rested on his shoulder, looking down at her big Y/e/C eyes and Y/H/C plaited hair dusted with sand.

"You're really cute-" He said before he even had time to stop the words coming out his mouth,

Y/n laughed, "Thanks Newt." she smiled, "You're cute too."

Newt blushed unlike anything he ever had before, he felt happy and giddy, like he wanted to hear her call him that forever. "get some rest Nat. I'll look after you,"

"Thanks, newt." She nodded,

The further they got from Wicked the more nervous Newt became, constantly getting ordered and barked into his ear to convince his friends to turn back. Or reveal their cover in some stupid way. When thomas went off on his own he tried to take charge but Minho took the lead and kept them going and Newt for whatever reason just couldn't get through to Minho. And neither could Teresa. They made sure to get where thomas would go and luckily found him again. Teresa worked more intensely making sure Thomas began to fear and hesitate after all both had already built.

But for now, he was resting.

Newt wandered the house unable to rest himself, he hadn't seen Y/n for a few hours and he was getting worried about her.

But he soon found her, down in the party dancing.

"Y/n? What are you doing down-" He began trying to usher her away but she gave him a drink,

"Dancing." she giggled,

The drink made his head fuzzy and his mind a little cloudy,

"Dance with me Newt." She cooed,

"Ih uhh… Okay…" he nodded taking her hands,

The music seemed to vibrate the floor and their bodies, their dancing growing closer and closer, the hissing in his ear didn't seem to bother him, not when he was looking at Y/n. As the drink clouded his mind more and more, his memories became clearer.

The life he once had before all this happened, the kind of father Janson was. He was cruel, abusive, belittling Newt for every little thing.

He then began to think of his time in the glade, all his friends, Y/n… he just came up one day and they all accepted him, without trial or hurt they all became his family.

He wondered… after this was done, and he brought his friends back to his father… what sort of life they would have. God knows what Janson would do to thomas, to Minho, to Fry and … what he would do to Y/n. Would he suffer the same fate as his friends? His father seemed to have no quells with tossing him in the maze with them, who's to say he wouldn't suffer with them too? And even if he didn't… could he live with himself if he watched his friends suffer? Would he even be safe with Janson if he did keep his word?

He thought of a life with Janson, locked away in some bunker. Watching his friends suffer. To live his life under his father's backhand.

But… then… He imagined a green place, where flowers and food grow, a little wood house by a river, and Y/n… In a cotton dress with a swollen belly. He imagined children running around and laughing.

Newt… so badly wanted this life.

This life with her.

But he knew, with his father's control… it would never be true.

"Newt?" Y/n asked waking him out of his dreams,

"Yeah?"

"I missed you,"

"I missed you too," He cooed pulling her a little closer as they danced, "Y/n…"

"Yeah?"

"I- I really like you."

"I like you too." she giggled her eyes fluttering to his lips,

He smiled and glanced down at her's too,

And without really thinking he closed the gap and kissed her.

Newt sat by the sea at Right Arms camp, doing his best to block out the stupid communicator's hiss. Y/n sat beside him her head on his shoulder.

But she yawned,

"Ooohh big yawn. You sleepy?"

"Mhm." she nodded,

"Go on, get some rest." he cooed kissing her head,

"I will, You should too." She told him,

"I'll be alright a while longer,"

"Where are you even sleeping anyway?"

"The boys found a little hammock for me in their tent."

"Ohh… seems crowded."

"No more crowded than the homestead ever was." he laughed,

"I guess…" she nodded, "Well I always have some space in my tent… if you wanted?"

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"No, it's okay. I don't wanna be a bother."

"Alright. If you're sure." She nodded, "Goodnight Newt."

"Goodnight Nat." he cooed back,

The two shared a kiss before she headed off to her tent.

Newt sat there for a while longer, pondering to himself. He felt so dirty for all he had done. And he couldn't help this stupid dream of a life he and Y/n could have without Wicked. Without Janson. And in that moment he knew what he wanted. The life he wanted. He pulled the comunicator from his ear hearing it beep and whir at the removal. He stood and walked to the water and without a single hesitation, he tossed it as hard as he could out and into the water. The waves quickly swallowed it up and Newt stood for the first time since the maze… in complete silence. He sighed feeling so free and happy with it gone. Without his father whispering in his ear… he asked himself… what he even wanted to do now. And he knew what he wanted to do next.

He marched with purpose through the camp to Y/n's tent where he found her already laid in her makeshift bed.

"Hey,"

"Hey…" She yawned,

"You mind?" he smiled coming closer to her bed,

She giggled and smiled, "No, come on."

Newt happily tossed his jacket, kicked off his cargo trousers and climbed into the bed with her wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. "Y/n?"

"Yes, Newt?"

"… I love you," he whispered against her lips,

"Awww I love you too." She cooed,

Their kisses grew deeper and deeper the longer they went on, turning from innocent sweet kisses to longer and more passionate makeouts, their bodies pressed together tightly.

Slowly her hands began to wander stroking his chest and arms, his own slid up her back and hips a few times before in a bolder move as they swirled their tongues together his hands moved down from her hips to cup her backside. His hands and fingers dug into the flesh below her shorts and forced a groan from his lips, in return, Y/n began to tug at his shirt. So Newt pulled back from, her lips to toss it over his head quickly returning to the kiss letting her hands roam his chest whilst he gave her backside a good squeeze. He could feel his cock getting harder in his boxers and in a surge of confidence again he pushed his hips against her's making sure she felt it.

Y/n Gasped and slightly giggled, pulling Newt on top of her as she lay on her back.

He of course did so kneeling above her his hands trailing up her sides to cup her breasts squeezing them through her shirt and groaning as they bounce without her bra. He pulled back to kiss down her neck leaving a trail of hickeys as he went.

"Please…. please can I-" He asked tugging at her shirt,

"You can." Y/n nodded helping him,

Once she was revealed newt moaned and kissed all over her breasts squeezing and rubbing as he did. He rubbed her nipples as they got hard before he licked and suckled at one of them.

Y/n playfully squealed and giggled pushing him back, "May I?"

"Yes…" he gasped,

so she pulled off his boxers revealing his hard cock,

he hissed at his reveal to the cold air and kicked off his boxers for her,

Y/n without hesitation sat up on her knees and peppered his shaft with kisses and licks.

"Ughhh Y/n!" He moaned throwing his head back and trying hard not to buck his hips into her mouth,

She wrapped her lips around him and began to suck which pulled so many moans and groans from him.

Newt's mind was lost to the sensation of her mouth mentally screaming at himself for not telling her he liked her earlier! Imagining so many lonely glade nights he could have gotten this feeling. But he pushed her back against the bed and smirked,

"May I?"

"You may." she nodded,

So he tugged off her little shorts revealing her wet folds to him, "fuck…" he gasped before he dove down grabbing her thighs to part them and burrowing himself against her, kissing, licking and sucking her flavours.

Y/n moaned loudly and arched her back her hand coming and wrapping in his hair,

But Newt was so lost in pleasuring her he didn't care, adoring her taste and moans far more than he ever thought he would. He moved his hand up to slip two fingers inside her which made her scream for his every moment. So he made sure to keep going, sucking, licking and thrusting his fingers desperate to make her feel as good as she made him feel.

Y/n soon stopped him pushing him back pulling him into a hot kiss, and rubbing her hips on his. "Shall we?"

"Hell yeah." he agreed, He stroked himself a couple of times making sure he was rock hard and ready before he gently and slowly lined himself up and slipped in,

Y/n gasped and squirmed a little as he got deeper and deeper inside her before letting out a long breath as he was fully inside. "OOoh Newt…" she blushed,

"Uhgh Y/n… god you feel so good." he groaned back barely able to stop his hips from moving just from the feel of her,

"So do you." She cooed, guiding his hips to help him get started,

He began slow and tender following her guidance but he soon didn't need it finding his pace and her limits very quickly.

Grunting, groaning and moaning as they each felt wave after wave of pleasure together. Each gets lost in the sensation and the other.

Newt moved his hand on her clit rubbing it softly in time with his now fast thrusts which made Y/n scream and moan below him.

He knew she was close and so did she pulling him into heavy kisses full of lust as she began begging him to keep going,

"Please… don't stop- don't slow keep goin-" She begged before her orgasm hit her sending her toppling over the edge of pleasure clenching around Newt's shaft and squealing his name,

The feeling itself was enough for him too, moaning her name against her neck and then a string of grunts and moans as he felt the pleasure wash from his head to his toes making his fingers grip her body tight as he sent his semen deep inside of her,

"Holy… god… damn… fuck." he groaned collapsing down beside her,

"Hell yeah," She agreed, "Love you." she cooed nuzzling up to his chest as they gasped and calmed down from their sweaty highs."

"Love you too." He gasped wrapping his arms around her and kissing her head,

Newt yawned feeling VERY tired from last night, but also with a joyful glow that couldn't be compared to anything else. He'd spent the whole time at the Right arm camp just snuggled with his beloved girlfriend. Much to the annoyance of the tents nearby. But he didn't care! He was free! He was in love! The whole world seemed bright and wonderful again.

He ventured out of the tent, after a good half hour of kissing and convincing, to go and grab some food for them.

But as he did, he spotted Teresa up on the rocks. He got a little worried so decided to head up there.

"Teresa? You Okay?" He asked,

"Newt… He got so worried." She gasped,

"Who?"

"Janson," she whispered,

"Wha- you- you know-"

She pushed back her hair and revealed her own communicator,

"All this time… you were-"

She nodded, "What happened? Why did you take it out? He got so worried you'd done something awful."

"No. No. I don't want any part of this. And you can tell him that too. I don't want this. I don't want anything to do with this." he told her, "Just leave me alone-"

As he went to leave she grabbed his arm, "It's too late for that. You and I. We're going home."

"What did you do?"

The sounds echoed through camp the bergs approaching,

"They promised we'd be safe. You and Me." She cooed trying to lean in and kiss him but he pushed her away and bolted down into camp, finding Y/n.

"We need to leave."

"What's going on!"

"We need to go! Now!" He told her to pack up as much as they could carry and they ran out hand in hand but it was too late.

The berg landed and men flooded camp stunning everyone in sight, They tried to run and get away but they were soon captured and tossed on the ground with the rest of the gladers.

And soon enough another Berg landed, and out walked Janson.

"Good evening. A pleasure to see you all again. Lost a few here and there but No harm done really."

"Let us go!" Thomas demanded,

"Ohh no, you're far too valuable for that. We even had insurance on you all. But you've had your run out. Let's get on back now."

"Insurance? What are you talking about!" Minho yelled,

Newt's blood ran cold, he squeezed Y/n's arm tightly knowing what was about to happen.

Janson stepped closer and smirked down at him, "Hello kiddo."

"Fuck you." Newt snapped back only for Janson to slap him across the face,

"Newt!" Y/n gasped trying to comfort him,

"You had a rat. trying to convince you to turn back." Teresa smiled as she stood with Janson,

"Newt…" Y/n pleaded,

"He was trying to make you come back, and letting us track him the whole time," Janson explained,

The boys gasped and began to argue even if Newt couldn't speak, at first they didn't believe it but it all made too much sense.

"He called them here. to take you all home." Teresa lied,

Y/n looked at him so utterly heartbroken, "Newt… please… it's not true?"

He couldn't answer her tears in his eyes, "I… I was." he admitted, "But! I promise I stopped! I didn't bring them here! I promise you I didn't, I gave up becuase I knew it was wrong, Please believe me Nat Please! You know I love you I'd never lie to you."

"You bastard!" Minho went to attack him managing one punch,

Before a full riot kicked off as the right arm attacked the wicked men,

Newt thought on the side of his friends even if they didn't want him there, doing everything he could to prove to them he was on their side.

But it wasn't enough when the men got hold of him. They wouldn't fight to get him back.

"Noo! Nooo please!" Newt begged them, pleading with them but they didn't. He was dragged away back to the Berg with Janson and Teresa.

Minho being the last to fall and be carted inside, "Y/n Please!" Newt begged her as he watched her tear-stained heartbroken face as the berg closed behind them.

Newt sat in a cold and harsh cell. Every day the men would come and drag him off for tests and experiments. Like he was nothing more than a rat in a cage. But… some days Janson would come. And those were the days he hated the most. Janson would belittle him, beat him, and do everything he did when Newt was a child. Without mercy or remoce. He called it punishment, for disobeying his orders. Janson told him he would hunt Y/n down and the only time he'd ever see her again was when her body was tossed in with him to die together. Such a promise always made him cry. He didn't want anything to happen to Y/n… he's hurt her enough.

Newt was convinced this was his end, that this was the room he'd die in.

He'd begun to grow numb from the torture but whenever he did it just became worse.

He hoped his friends would save him.

But he prayed for death.

One night he heard the cell unlock, and he begged it wasn't his father.

But when he looked up, he saw Thomas. Fry. Minho. All stood before him.

"No… no… I'm imagining you." he cried,

"You're not. Even if maybe you should be." Minho snapped,

"We know what you did Newt." Thomas began, "…But we know why you did it."

"And no matter what you did. You're still our friend." Fry told him,

"You- You forgive me?"

"Not by a long shot." Minho sighed, "But… we can't leave you here."

Thomas came to work at removing Newt's restraints. "Y/n found the files. Explained everything that happened. It was a shit situation and … we know you didn't have a choice. You're still our friend and we understand… why you did what you did."

"Thank you." Newt cried, "But you should leave me. Let me suffer for what I did."

"Can't do that man." Fry told him as they got him loose, "We can't leave you behind. Not minho. Not you. Not anyone." He explained, "Besides… you got work to do."

"I- I do-"

"Y/n… is gonna need a word with you when you get back." Thomas chuckled,

Newt woke feeling groggy and tired. The medics had done the best they could to fix Newt up even if there were many scars on his body and his mind that would take a good time to heal if they ever would. He'd barely been conscious since their return but he always heard Y/n's voice. As she watched over him.

He peeled open his eyes and glanced around the ship's infirmary as he had for the last few days, his body aware of the waves and movement even if it wasn't visible.

"Hey." Y/n smiled holding his hand,

"Hey… Y/n- I - I'm so sorry-"

"Shhhh." She cooed, "It's okay, I uhh hacked wicked's files while out where gone. Found out the whole story. I understand what happened now and I know why you did it. I forgive you."

"Don't." he told her, "Do not forgive me for this."

"I will. Even if you don't want me to. I forgive you. and I will be here every day until you forgive yourself. You had no choice, you were scared, and you fought your own father for your friends. You're a good man newt." She told him, "No matter what the intentions first were."

"….Thank you," he broke down into tears pulling her into his arms,

"It's okay, I just want you to feel better."

"I feel better now I have you." He smiled, "I love you Y/n… so so much!"

"I love you too." She smiled, "…Did the boys tell you?"

"They… said you had news for me? What is it?"

Y/n smiled and kissed his chuckles before she moved his hand to the rounded bump below her shirt.

"Y-what?!"

"You're gonna be a daddy." She cooed,

He began to cry tears of utter joy even more so than before, getting choked up and wailing with joy as he stroked her bump.

"A baby… our baby… We're… we get a baby. I'm a daddy!" he cried, "I love you so so so much!" He yelled kissing her and her bump a hundred times, "I promise you little one, I am going to keep you safe. I will never hurt you, never make you scared. I will be the best dad in the world. I promise." He told her bump,

"I know you will newt." Y/n smiled as they shared a tender kiss.

24 notes · View notes