#It’ll be different every time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

splinteredthoughts · 1 year ago

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Maybe once you’ve had a first conversation?? Cause just chatting is easier through Discord, I guess, and if you like to talk then you ask for peeps’ Discord? It might be different from friend to friend, but that’s what I’d hazard a guess at.

ive gotten so out of the loop with making tumblr and artist friends. at what point can you ask for someones discord. at what point can u add someone as a friend. help

#You can make someone a friend after any point #Those are your blorbo friends!#I mean #It’ll be different every time #But people like to make blorbo friends #Right?#Gosh I hope I’m coherent here.

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bondagebimbo · 18 days ago

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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive #half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass #NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone #but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her #all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed #just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one #like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no #leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate #of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it #like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for #oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow #and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks #towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else #I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey #and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense #I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too #I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted #to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest #and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long #fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest #for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days

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velvetjune · 2 months ago

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Spoilers for the Lake House DLC trailer (alan wake 2). I am! so! excited! Something I’ve loved about the Alan Wake games is its portrayal of different art forms and how they impact real life through the dark place, and the artists’ mindset. Cant wait to see how this expansion will include paintings, especially after how striking the paintings were in the first game from a patient at Hartman’s facility. All the blood and bodies in the hallway with the blue paint mixed in. chefs kiss. that’s art

#Alan wake has primarily touched on writing + music + gaming #and photography + film in the sequel #so paintings/drawings/animation has always been something I’ve been curious to see in game #I’m sure the effect will be almost the same but I wanna know HOW paintings can be used for it #also I’m cursed with being reminded of ghostbusters 2 every time something is a haunted painting #lake house dlc #getting to play as Kiran is still a joy #big win for lesbians #but also it’ll be interesting to have an entire dlc for a character who’s not the protagonist #like night springs was goofy with different characters #but this is some of the actual story reinterpreted from a different characters perspective #it’ll be fascinating to see. I loved estevez’s personality from what we saw #I remember seeing comments when aw2 dropped calling her mean but. imo she was VERY on board with how weird things got #and dropped the professional FBC front almost immediately lmaooooo. she’s great #alan wake 2 spoilers

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mars-ipan · 1 month ago

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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…

#marzi speaks #marzivents #<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this #i’m so TIRED of themmmm #i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS #i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face #i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut #but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad #my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there #my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic #like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over #it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity #oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too #like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face #now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter #like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it #i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it #and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about #but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention #y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation #the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid #bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented #even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch #i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years #there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH

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pepperpixel · 3 months ago

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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao

#pepper words #it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge #until it starts to die #I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly #it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines #and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out #u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get #I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork #into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird #i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose #conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines #and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch #and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess #forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg #sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em #but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno #all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 8 months ago

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home from work

#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday #the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already #they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time #micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him #bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can #so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO #anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need #it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning #and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today #we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao #and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before #we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day #we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left #it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo #*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having #to wait a long time for their food #and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO #I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take #stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess #I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every #night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had #nothing to make the wraps with <3 #I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap #and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used #they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess #this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up #womp womp!!!!!!

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petrovna-zamo · 2 years ago

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😭 😭

#hey at least they’re self-aware!#but shhh people need to stop pointing this out to them #it’ll make them feel self conscious #idc if they repeat stories everybody does it and it’s different how they tell it every time!#also lol to the Brian memoji icon #so many know it all’s in the yt comments #that they obviously read!#t&k

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aspenloggingin · 3 months ago

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i miss my friends :(

#every time i come back i hope it’ll be different #but it’s always so empty #i feel like i havent talked to another living person in weeks

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skoulsons · 1 month ago

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i plan on doing a fifth ghost playthrough after im done my ng+ lethal+ one (about to enter act 3) and i just know I’ll be lamenting walking into a vanilla game without all the bulks of ng+

#my kensei armor is kitted OUT with ghost and mythic buffs #sadge #but !! vanilla game to start over from !! im excited to go again #that’s what I love so so so SO much about games like these and starting over #I can choose so many different ways to spend my tech points every new time #I can choose what ghost weapon I want (after kunai ofc)#I get to experiment with different evolving tactics and which ones I’ll choose to value first over others #there’s sooo many ways to go about each and every new file that I love getting to explore with this game #it’s so so fun. I love this game so much #it’ll also be nice to finally get so far away from lethal+. it SUCKS sometimes #I may cry fighting khotun. i just know he’s gonna suck no matter how much I take my time #ghost of tsushima

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maybe-a-dinosaur · 1 year ago

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matsukawa (sticks like a pill in his throat) issei

this is So Real this is So Right someone please use this please he tried to say something to hiro he can’t it “sticks like a pill in his throat” he just can’t get it out ggguuyyyyys

#he swallows pills dry every time he nearly choked every time he thinks it’ll be different every time he’s wrong #the words stick like a pill in his throat CMMMOONNNNNN #AHHHHHHHHHHH #matsukawa issei #matsuhana #haikyuu

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trash-bin-ary · 2 months ago

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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.