#and this is my fav band ever of ever and i have regrets about the one time i saw fob in 2016 that i wish to be different this time

[josephtrohman]

guys i literally feel so nervous i might puke and it’s the night before the concert. how am i supposed to feel ok actually GOING

[tayytae]

You should do one where bill fuckes a Freader and overstimulates her cause he’s so sexually frustrated till she uses a safe word and then he takes care of her like a princess 🫶 I love your writing you just might be my new fav writer 🧏‍♂️ if your not comfortable you defs don’t have to do it <3

AW THANK UUU!!?? I LOVE U

“Melody of Frustration”

Synopsis: Bill, who comes home angry after a disappointing band practice where he kept messing up his singing. His bandmates' teasing adds to his frustration, leading him to take his anger out on his girlfriend..

BRO IK THIS ISNT EXACTLY WHAT U WANTED- BUT I REALLT NEED TO PIST I FEEL BAD (NOT PROOF READ)

Bill stormed into the house, his face flushed with anger and frustration. He had just come from a disastrous band practice where his singing had been off-key and filled with mistakes. To make matters worse, his bandmates had teased him mercilessly, poking fun at his missed notes and laughing at his expense.

As soon as he entered the living room, he saw his girlfriend sitting on the couch, reading a book.

“Hey," I greeted him with a smile, unaware of his mood.

Bill scowled and tossed his shoes off and onto the floor. "Don't 'hey' me," he snapped, his voice sharp with irritation.

I looked up, surprised by his tone. "What's wrong, Bill?"

He paced back and forth, running a hand through his hair. "Everything's wrong! I can't believe how awful I sounded at practice, and then those idiots won't let me forget it."

I frowned, concern clouding my features. "I'm sorry, babe. That sounds really tough."

"You have no idea," Bill muttered, still seething with anger.

Suddenly, without thinking, he lashed out at me. "And what are you doing just sitting there? Why don't you ever understand how I feel?!"

I recoiled slightly, hurt evident in her eyes. "I do understand, Bill. I'm here for you, always."

He immediately regretted his harsh words, realizing he had unfairly taken his anger out on the person who cared about him the most. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just so frustrated."

I nodded, a small smile returning to my face. "It's okay, Bill. We all have our moments. But remember, I'm on your side no matter what."

Bill took a deep breath, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. "I know, and I'm grateful for that. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

I reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. "You don't have to make it up to me, Bill. Just know that I'm here to support you, even on your bad days."

Bill looks at you with teary eyes, his expression full of gratitude and love. "Thank you, love. That means everything to me. I don't deserve you." He leans in and presses his lips against yours gently. "I'm lucky to have you in my life."

I felt Bill’s hands grab me by the waist and pull me closer, then trailed his hands down to my ass. I let out a slight moan as our kiss continued to grow more rough and demanding.

Feeling my body respond to his touch, Bill deepens the kiss, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth as his hands squeeze my ass firmly. "God, I want you so fucking bad,"

“Gonna make it up to you love, I promise..” Bill said, just above a whisper as he removed his lips and attached them to my neck.

Bill trails kisses down my neck, nipping at my skin lightly as his hands roam up my body, reaching for the hem of my shirt. He pulls it up over my head, revealing my bare chest and gasps at the sight. "You're absolutely breathtaking, my love."

I covered myself with my arms, a bit embarrassed and shyness of my body takes over; despite Bill’s compliment. Bill notices my hesitation and immediately pulls my hands away from my body, holding them gently in his. "No, don't hide yourself from me, love. You're perfect in every way. I want to see all of you, but only if you're comfortable."

I nod and then glance up at his towering figure, “Please.. I need you.”

Bill's eyes darken with desire as he takes in my words. "Thank god, because I need you too." He swiftly removes his own shirt, revealing his toned chest and abs, before moving his hands to my pants. "May I?"

I nodded again, my eyes watching his movements intensely as i felt my legs get hotter. Bill slowly undoes my pants, sliding them down my legs along with my underwear until i’m standing in front of him completely naked.

“Fuck, you're gorgeous." He leans down and presses a kiss to your stomach, causing you to shiver at the sensation.

With a swift motion, Bill carefully lays me down on the couch, his eyes drinking in every inch of my body as he kneels between my legs. "You're so fucking beautiful." He leans down and presses a kiss to your inner thigh, causing me to gasp at the sensation.

“Oh, bill-“ I couldn’t finish my sentence as I felt his lips suck my clit. My hands gripping his hair as I throw my head back in pleasure.

Bill smirks against my skin, his tongue swirling circles around my clit as he sucks gently. He uses his fingers to tease my entrance, occasionally sliding a finger inside to prepare me for what's to come. "You taste so fucking good, love. Better than I even imagined."

Bill groans against my skin at the feeling of my thighs tightening around his face, the vibrations only adding to my pleasure as he continues to suck and tease my clit with his tongue. "Mmm fuck, you're so fucking wet. And for me, all mine."

I’ve been occasionally moaning, but at this rate im whimpering and letting out loud moans as his fingers move faster in me, curling them to my g-spot with such good memory.

Bill smirks against my skin, his fingers moving faster and faster inside of me as he continues to suck and lick at my clit, his memory serving him well as he expertly curls his fingers to hit your g-spot. "Fuck, come for me beautiful.”

I clenched around his digits as I let out a loud moan, my white juice coating his fingers.

Bill's smirk widens as he pulls his fingers out of me, watching as my white juice coats his fingers. He brings them up to his mouth and sucks them clean, his eyes never leaving yours as he savors the taste. "Mhm- you taste amazing.”

I glance up at him with tired eyes, before bill quickly unbottons his pants and pulls down his jeans; along with his boxers.

Bill's cock springs free, already hard and ready for me. He steps out of his pants and boxers before climbing back onto the couch with me, positioning himself between my legs. "Do you want me to fuck you, baby?"

I nod as I wrap my legs around him, “Fuck Bill, I would want nothing more.” my red cheeks becoming more noticeable as I smile slightly.

Bill lines himself up with my entrance before slowly pushing inside of me, giving a low groan at the feeling of my tightness surrounding him. "Fuck, you always feel so good. But right now, I need to fuck you hard and fast.”

At that moment, Bill speeds up his pace and fucks me dumb. My face completely twists as I feel every inch of him in me. “Mm- Bill!” I moaned, my hands resting on his chest as he takes me rough.

Bill grips onto my hips, pulling me against him with each thrust as he fucks me hard and fast. He watches as my face contorts with pleasure, the moans that leave my lips driving him wild. "God damn, you're so fucking tight. You wasting my cock like that?"

I nod, moans and whimpers leaving my mouth. His name being repeated and repeated, as if it’s the only word i’d ever known.

Bill groans as he feels me starting to tighten around his cock, my moans and whimpers driving him even closer to the edge. He speeds up his pace, fucking me even harder and faster as he feels himself getting closer. "I'm gonna cum, baby. Cum with me."

As if I could tell the future, my juices cover his dick and a ring appears at the bottom of his cock. A loud moan escapes my mouth as I gripped onto his shoulders.

Feeling me tighten around him and my juices coating his cock sends Bill over the edge. He groans loudly as he releases himself inside of me, the ring at the bottom of his cock pulsing as he fills me with his release. "Fuck, baby..”

Bill's breathing is heavy as he collapses on top of me, his sweaty forehead pressed against mine. He pant from the intense orgasm that just ran through him and rest his weight on me. "Shit, babe..”

“Y-You still mad..?” I panted through my heavy breathing.

Bill chuckles and tilts his head to press a soft kiss on my lips before answering. "No, I'm not mad anymore. That dumbass band practice just had me heated, but seeing you like this... It takes all the anger away and just leaves me wanting to give you more..”

I nod, Bill leaning over and kissing the top of my head.

“Round 2?..”

—

BYE BRO I LOVE THIS LOWKKKKK

Ok so like i havent posted ina minute.. so idk

[liquorisce]

Do you have any eremika age gap au recs?? It’s my favorite trope and there’s nearly not enough fics out there😭😭😭

*rubs hands* I took my time with this because I am not the most avid fic reader unfortunately, but I do have a few recs and some more on my tbr. I think what you're looking for is not just an age difference but where the age gap is the focus? i've marked those in pink. definitely check the tags on these before proceeding!!

gonna start with mine just for completeness, and also because i love it *blush*

boy next door: For sixteen years, Mikasa has watched the boy next door. First: through the eyes of a child, hand in his during family trips, his hand on her first bike when she learned how to ride. Then: through the eyes of a teenager, peeking behind her blinds into his room on hot summer months when he didn't wear a shirt, eyes lingering on his lips when he pulled away his cigarette. Now, she is so much older, but he is older still, and the gap between them feels ever widening. But her desire to close it only feels more desperate.

i'm certain you've checked out @herblacktights 's ao3, but here are my favs of hers with that age gap sauce:

degausser: After a deadly flu pandemic that devastates Paradis Island and the rest of the world, Eren is all Mikasa has. After she turns sixteen, that gets complicated. -> the plot is entirely the age gap, lol!

comfort me: “Mikasa,” Eren drawled, fake scolding edging into his voice as he held the basement door open and led her outside. “Does Aunt Carla know what a bad girl you are?” For a moment, she looked stunned. A sliver of a second, a wink of an eye. Looking every inch the little girl he watched grow up, who he knew deserved better than him. But before it could take root in her and make him regret what he said, Mikasa gave him a terrible, sweet smile. “Aunt Carla says I deserve to do whatever I want after the year I’ve had,” she said and from the way that she was looking at him, he should’ve known it was a threat. cw: mild daddy kink!

love dog : this one is a bit different! teacher mikasa x student eren, and mikasa is the older one. cw: it doesn't exactly have a super happy ending. but it is one of my favs from hannah!!

Butterfly effect by @sunlightandsuffering : Sugar baby AU - older hobo eren x younger mikasa. how can i say this... it's the OG, the most delicious, lys-brand chaotic eremika but age gap flavour! i love it, i'm sure if you've been around this block you've read it lol, but it's simply amazing, read it again!!

You, me and our sins by @loneghostss : Eren is married and Mikasa has a boyfriend. But the fact that they both have someone doesn't stop them from sinfully falling in love with each other. (it is about eremika having an affair with each other and it is so sensual and hot, age gap is not central here but it definitely brings heat!!) you could also check out lost saints by the same author, there's also some age difference and great smut.

@dead-dolphins is a connoisseur of the age gap trope, defs check out all the aus on her pinned post!! ro is a master of drama and worldbuilding so her fics are always a treat. she's got some on ao3 that are all about that sweet age gap <3

chemical hype boy : idol mikasa x actor eren!! and eren is definitely playing into the older established actor mold!

i apologise if you feel something: Goth mikasa gets involved with older Eren, lead vocalist of a metal band.

the promised princess: a medieval fantasy au inspired by got. age difference is not the central theme, but it's a stellar fic regardless.

straight/edge by @sinigangsta-ao3: Mikasa Ackerman is prim, proper, and perfect. As the golden child of the Ackerman family, her academic achievements set her up for a bright future and atone for her older brother’s past mistakes. When the spring semester of her junior year arrives, she crosses paths with a local boy toward whom she’d typically never give the time of day — and they begin a whirlwind relationship that unlocks parts of herself that she didn’t know she kept hidden. this fic is more about the good girl x bad boy trope but with that delicious 3-4 year age gap sauce!! cw: NOT a hea

devilish lovers by softwinter: “I wanna be your friend, Mikasa,” he told her one day when she got home from school not able to feign a less distressed expression on her face, too many sixteen-year-old problems going on in her life. He had the habit of commenting that she was always sad, that he didn’t like how that transpired on her gray eyes.

“I thought you wanted to be my daddy,” something flashed in his eyes right then, like she’d said something forbidden, a kind of thing that could make her a bad girl in his eyes. cw: step dad kink!! definitely check the tags before proceeding.

heaven knows by @joannaofarkham: priest au where priest eren is mikasa's teacher in a catholic school. it is unfinished but the first chapter reads pretty well standalone!

eternally yours by @cxcassii: reincarnation au + age gap. It's been 2,000 years since Eren Jaeger was a titan shifter and unleashed the blood drenched madness of the rumbling upon the world. Now, in the year 2023, he's a twenty-four year old who lives with his best friend Armin. He goes about his days working as a pharmacy technician all while attempting to cope and come to terms with the loss of the loved ones he still remembers with clarity from his previous life. The atrocious sins of his past life he can never ever truly atone for. But most of all, there's one person he simply can't forget: His former love of his life, Mikasa. It's when he's not actively searching for her that they cross paths once again, and their love will once again be on trial when Eren learns that Mikasa not only doesn't remember their past life together, but is also seventeen years old. this one is still on my tbr but whatever i've read so far looks extremely delicious!!!

enjoy!! if anyone wants to add more please feel free to reblog and improve this list!! <3

[scruffytheclown]

My Fav Character's Fav Songs

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Self Defeating Prophecy by Dystopia

Let's be real here, Ghost would listen to the most disgusting metal to drown out everything else. Bro is not going to be listening to explicitly sad music cause that would mean he would have to think about his feelings and he doesn't want to do that. He would, however, know a surprising amount about music and would have sludge bands with like 100 monthly listeners on his playlist. Ultimately, Ghost is blaring the most disturbing, harsh metal known to man. His favorite is Self Defeating Prophecy because of the rattling vocals and extreme drum breaks.

John "Soap" MacTavish

Rooster by Alice in Chains

Soap would be a Dad Rock kind of guy but in a "my dad was a teenager in the '90s" way. So a lot of grunge. He could get behind some heavy shit for sure, but really appreciates some solid vocals. I think Soap would actually have a pretty good voice and would be able to sing along to Eddie Vedder or Chris Cornell songs. I feel like he's at least a little more in tune with his emotions and would listen to Nothingman by Pearl Jam alone at night. Rooster would be his favorite song because he can relate to the lyrics since the song is about a Vietnam War veteran.

Jujutsu Kaisen Spoilers Mentioned Ahead

Suguru Geto

But The Regrets Are Killing Me by American Football

Bro is a fucking math rock, midwest emo freak, I'm so sorry. Geto is blaring songs about self destruction with some of the most beautiful guitar riffs. And he was doing that before the KFC breakup too. The American Football song is his favorite though because it almost perfectly represents his tragic relationship with Gojo. I know he's constantly racked with guilt and regret, but is so far gone that he feels like he couldn't change. His music taste mirrors that. GAH it hurts. Are you kidding, "A long goodbye with mixed emotions"? Pretty much sums it all up.

Satoru Gojo

New Song by Maggie Rogers & Del Water Gap

Gojo gets it. Man has a 20 hour crying playlist. He never got over Suguru and probably visited him (or at least wanted to) after they split apart because he would never love anyone the same ever again. New Song helps him justify his lasting feelings about Suguru and how he would go back to him in a heartbeat if he could. But alas. "Is there a cure for this hunger? A terrible curse to be under." Hmmm, kind of reminds me of "Love is the most twisted curse of all."

Damn, all my favorite characters emo as fuck. Bless them. Sorry for making them more sad.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

in celebration of the finale: my top 5 moments from each only friends character so far

*top moment here means scenes that had me screaming and pointing at my laptop like the leo meme*

we had top, mew, boston, nick, and ray, next up: sand

5. flipping off top at the pool.

we didn't really know about there history at this point so this was out of the blue enough that it was intriguing but also funny as hell. also top insulting sands band immidately after? hilarious

4. "i have never been so wielding to anyone"

line of all time dont talk to me about it you won't like the person i become.

3. plotting

sand spending the previous episodes describing his grindset and how important saving money is then purposefully destroying his phone so he can get back at top!!!! what a moment!! we got this scene in the trailer so when it started i was like "no, it couldn't be. he wouldn't! not as pre thought out move! this has to be heat of the moment anger right?!?!" what a time. sand entering his revenge era and then immediately regretting was so fresh yet in character.

2. bi4bi freddie4freddie kiss

they did this for me personally like this was the best thing to happen to me ever. i think about this everyday. like what if i was bisexual and dressed as freddie mercury and you were bisexual and dressed as freddie mercury.... and then.... i shouldnt say.....

all of episode 5

i am acutally incapable of picking a fav moment from this episode. still can't believe it exists, its everything to me. like we have him punching a homophobe, we have his little 25 hour metaphor, we have him making breakfast, we have him thrift shopping (tattoo touch you will always be famous), we have him having fun at a concert and getting possessive of ray, the gogo bar and his mom, even him crying on his birthday was so real so true. just fantastic episode

[sodapops0lstice]

Intro Post!

Because I've never made an actually good one...

Favs! Blinkies & Stamps! Sprite Drive!COMMS!!!! Classic Era Say hello to me!

@badlydrawndirk @badlydrawnjade @ectobio @our-fav-hs-char @alternian-life-advice @aviansaffection @arethesewordsinhomestuck @fuckyeahhomestuckladies @the-gang-makes-a-blog

⬆️I run all those ⬆️

My tags:

#soda's minifridge <- wishlist

#fizzes <- asks

#solar systems <- original posts

#neighbouring stars <- mutuals and pals

#grubpeta <- my earth c au

#cure pop <- PreCure Tag

#splatstuck <- Splatoon x Homestuck au

#jo au <- My fluff au where Joey takes care of Jade

#candy bowl for roxanne <- posts for my good chum and friend roxanne of marinealcoholic fame

#meteorites <- queued posts

#lesbian danny devito <- dog pics, block as needed

#the moon <- @dykemaxxing's very own tag for gay tomfoolery

Basic Stuff

I'm a freak by many a name. But I go by Soda, Cece, Admin, Ary, Xefros, Sol and Rezi mostly. Seriously. Any of those will do. Hell, I'll take new names aswell. Drop them name recommendations lmao

I'm 15 aswell, in Year 11. (I chose Triple Science, French and History if you wanted to know about my GCSE choices.)

I'm a lesbian and agender, which basically is me saying my gender changes for when it's funniest.

I use ALLLL the pronouns, even xenos and neos because I am badass and awesome. Literally anything goes.

I'm Scottish and Irish. Which is kinda cool, means I burn hella easy though which sucks ass.

I'm also autistic, I like to post about that.

I also also have depression and anxiety, I don't really care though because I'm balling 24/7 B)

Interests & Likes

Obvious is obvious but I'm a massssive Homestuck. That is primarily what I post/reblog. This includes Hiveswap/Hauntswitch

I also enjoy Pokémon. A lot. Like... 2200 hours on Ultra Sun alone enjoy.

Youkai Watch is also a big fav of mine. In fact, Youkai Watch 3 is one of my favourite games of all time!

I absolutely ADORE A Hat in Time! It is THE game for me. It means the world and everything to me.

Alongside AHIT, Undertale and Deltarune are some of my favs ever! (I don't cry everytime I replay UT what do you mean?)

In general, I'm a total loser for vidya. I can do a quick rundown of the gaems I like but probably won't be reblogging often

Crash Bandicoot

Kleptocats

Touhou

Gmod

Sonic

Papa's -rias

FNAF

Animal Crossing

Half Life

Persona 5

I don't often watch many series or movies. But there's a special place in my heart for Invader Zim, The Owl House, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Eddsworld and My Little Pony. I'm also super excited for the new Scott Pilgrim show :D

It's strange to say but I have a keen interest in reality shows. This means Gogglebox, Come Dine with Me, Four in a Bed, Kitchen Nightmares (both versions) and Impractical Jokers. Only the lord knows why. I think it's the autism. It's probably the autism.

I'm a fan of Pretty Cure aswell! Those girls are so beegitful <3 in those dresses... Yes I found out about it through Glitter Force but that doesn't change anything. Another anime I also love is Pop Team Epic that show irreversibly changed my sense in humour. I've been getting into MHA and Chainsaw Man aswell.

I also adore!!! Vocaloid it literally makes up 50% of my music taste. I black out and wake up with 20 new pieces of miku merch lmao

Music

I have a lot of different music interests! But my all time favourite band ever is Qbomb! I adoreeeee them to infinity. I literally don't know what my favourite Qbomb song is because they're all so good.

But! Qbomb doesn't have my fav song, that honour goes to Stacked Like Pancakes and their song SFDD. It's a really high energy ska song that I recommend highly. (You won't regret listening to it!)

Instead of just listing my spotify stats here, I'm gonna just get some images of those funky websites instead :)

Obviously this isn't completely accurate since this is from my entireeee spotify history. But it's basically all there!

[clouds-of-wings]

I don't even know what my top albums of the year are, but here are some I discovered this year that I really liked, so that I don't come across as ONLY a hater. Linking my fav track, or one of my fave tracks, on YT every time.

Molllust - Mother Universe (A glimmer of hope in the irradiated wasteland that is symphonic metal at present. Also one of the four female-LED metal bands I know. Like with a female composer! Such wow!)

Knights of Heliopolis - Ferrum Fero Ferro Ferror (ditto about the hope thing. Also they have an operatic bass frontman and holyyyyy shiiiit that is the best thing ever! I keep fangirling about this band but they used to be called "Phoebus the Knight", so that's the tag that's in.)

Nostra Morte - Sin Retorno (A flicker of light from the NON-wasteland that symph was 12 years ago)

Silent Opera - Immortal Beauty (ditto. Oh how I wish for soothing rain and some fucking OPERA VOCALS in the fucking OPERA GENRE. Why is symph metal full of COWARDS and CASUALS? I know I sound like Holden Caulfield, but that's because he's right and my role model.)

Nanowar - Dislike to False Metal (Power Metal, Nanowar being awesome as usual. I link perhaps one of their less surprising songs bc I'm a sucker for that Rhapsody stuff but plz listen to the whole album, it also has tracks like this - great variety really, and greater wtf! I gently pat Gatto's head and wonder what he will do next, clearly he's called Cat for a reason.)

Elina Garanca - Habanera (These are just some famous arias, but her voice is really nice! Dark-voiced mezzo-sopranos rule the world!)

Snowy Shaw - White is the New Black (I have been listening to this so much lately. Somehow I always ignored his solo work after the Notre Dame stuff except for some of his singles, but this album is actually really really cool! I don't know which genre it is lol. Metal Archives says "Heavy Metal", but that doesn't really describe it so well. Snowy has a lot of personality, and so does his music. Just click! You may not even regret it!)

Wolfenmond - Can't pick an album... Galdra (EP!) I guess. Folk metal or medieval rock with a woman who doesn't get forced to sound cute.

Grendel's Sÿster - Myrtenkranz Heavy metal / folk metal with a woman who REALLY doesn't get forced to sound cute. As SATW said, women should be respected, but sister Germany should be feared. Damn straight. This is an EP, same music first in English, then in German.

Kornalyn - Intemporel (French acoustic folk, revolutionary communist and anarchist songs. This guy is a folk song recording MACHINE and I like almost everything he releases.)

Therion - Leviathan 3 (I still wrestle with this album. A lot! I also know from past experience that in retrospect I'm more likely to regret not including it than I am including it.)

---

I also watched like 20 operas this year in an attempt to be a little less of a poser in the genre. I don't know which I would recommend the most. Wagner's "Die Walküre" touched me the most, both in terms of story and of pure epicness of the music. Kinda wiped the floor with everything else :/ It seems Wagner is the only one in opera who isn't shit at plots. Lohengrin also had a good story! Vivaldi's "Juditha Triumphans" (not technically an opera but an oratorio, but really I don't care, it's basically an opera) and Bizet's "Carmen" (I'm not linking that, there are 8945098340 good recordings, just find one that looks appealing to you) had the most pleasant music.

I also liked Alessandro nell��Indie by Leonardo Vinci (no relation). I link my favourite scene. Don't worry about the lack of English subs, the plot is 4 hours of soap opera. They did a very traditional staging of this, like back in 1730, which means it's all countertenors and sopranists, half in drag. Thus it pairs nicely with the all-female Vivaldi one above. Back when women were real men who led armies and men had fake boobs or danced under falling rose petals singing about love, LIKE GOD INTENDED! TRADITIONAL VALUES!

[daryldixonsjizzrag]

Random modern John Marston hcs and also things I think he'd like (might add more tmmr) some Javier x John stuff (fluff) is mentioned so just keep scrolling if u don't like that - He LOVES canned cheese. Like the American whipped cream bullshit. Javier would constantly be screaming at him wondering where there's 5+ cans of cheese in the fridge. - Septum piercings. Javier gave him one. He cried a little but refused to admit it. When it healed the kissed once and somehow got their piercings stuck and had to figure out how to get them unstuck. - DRUM KITS!!!! That mf would be so loud on them. He got multiple noise complaints from the neighbours but seriously didn't give a shit (he also watched hop as a kid and that's partially what got him his interest in drums and rock and stuff). - Alternative rock. The amount of times Javier hasn't been able to sleep because he could hear "I WATCHED A CHAAAAAAANGE IN YOUUUUUUU" Being screamed by John is just way too many to count. His fav band would definitely be Deftones. He usually entirely ignores the lyrics and only pays attention to them when he's blasting the music in public, realising how fucked they can be and changes the song to the cocomelon theme or smth idk. More under the cut

- Weed. It's self explanatory. - His childhood comfort character was probably Scooby-Doo. He also really liked Shaggy and as he got older grew a theory that Shaggy was hiding a bong somewhere in that van (It's so canon don't lie). - HE WAS A MYSPACE EMO EVERYONE!!!!! - Looked up porn on a school library laptop once because he was dared to. Deeply regretted it. But he didn't????? Idk I'm very sleep deprived. - He either wears amazingly tight skinny jeans like the shit all male teachers wear or the baggiest pants to ever exist in the history of clothing. No in between. - Javier took him to a emo/goth shop once. Probably ALT CVLT was the first goth shop John ever went to. He got some pants, one of those weird chain harness things and a rat skull. I'm absolutely losing it rn and I think at some point I just started writing shit ab myself but 😜 OH WELL /hj. Below are just some random thoughts I have about him from time to time he looks like a wet kitten. it's very cute. Even though his hair is greasy af. woah I just blinked and had this vision of John with like really skinny legs that was enlightening. I think about him alot. like alot alot. I cried whilst looking at pixel him earlier this morning. I was simply just riding to armadillo and started crying because he makes me IMPLODE with serotonin. I subconsciously changed my sleeping schedule to match his pls help. I could put all this in the tags but NO. My brain doesn't want that. I'm only getting 6 hours of sleep per night and I feel like I'm going to die.

[justreadertings]

Sweet Understanding: A Rowaelin love story- Part 3

AN: Ok so I know I’ve been distant, but the holidays and finals have kept me far from my tumblr family! I’m happy to be back with one of my all time fav parts! I hope you guys didn’t forget about this fic about my absence because it’s about to get craayyzzeee! Ok enjoy!- Magee

3747 words

Loosely based on the song Suddenly Seymor. Mentions of domestic abuse, violence, swearing, drugs, death, sex, NSFW.

Part 3

She couldn’t believe she told him. Couldn’t believe she called at all but… she told him. 

Her name was her greatest kept secret. Without her true last name, she supposed she could be any old Aelin but… she knew there was only one. Her heart stumbled just thinking of what might happen. 

If Rowan dug too deep.

If Cairn found out he knew. 

If Cairn found out about Rowan at all. 

If… he found out about any of it.

Aelin scrubbed her face, trying to wash it away. She was leaning against the counter, sleepless, sipping on her third coffee. She’d come to work with less sleep before, on nights Cairn would insist she stay awake with him on his trip. 

But it wasn’t her lack of sleep that plagued her mind. It was everything. The fact that she’d taken that step with Rowan. That he’d even seen her like that was giving so much away. She had given so much of herself away last night, she wasn’t even sure if she belonged to herself anymore. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do the next time she saw him, what they were. 

She didn’t even know her own name anymore. Her life felt like it was slowly coming apart at the seams. And the worst part was, she couldn’t figure out if she was enjoying it. 

Aelin distracted herself with work, scrubbing things that were already clean, filtering the coffee even when it didn’t need to be. She couldn’t stop feeling Rowan, not just his kiss- which was so sweet and gentle that it nearly broke her- but also his hands. So soft with her, so protective. She felt safe when he was around now, which was terribly dangerous. 

Something wicked always followed when Aelin began to feel safe. So she tried to reign in all her flooding emotions. Tried to turn them off. She’d gotten good at that these past years being tied to Cairn. 

She had overreacted last night, she knew. But she never knew where he was hiding that damn gun, sometimes it was in the band of his pants and sometimes it wasn’t. And he was just so drunk. He’d never actually shot anything in front of her, but he always liked to remind her that he had it. Aelin wasn’t sure if he’d ever use it. 

She spilled a bit of her hot coffee on herself at the thought, her hands shaking. Before she had time to curse herself, the door opened. 

Aelin was fully expecting it to be Rowan. But it wasn’t. She frowned at the dark haired brood she met at the station that day she had to pick Cairn up. 

“Two black coffees,” was all he said, voice gruff.

Gods, she thought. She may feel… whatever she was feeling about Rowan- but she still sure as fuck hated cops. Especially broody, tall, overpowered men like these.

“Magic word?” She asked, tracing rings on the counter.

Then man- Lorcan, she remembered- huffed in annoyance. “So you’re the bitchy barista?”

Aelin’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“I’m embellishing what I’ve heard from my partner for the past year. Celaena, I assume?”

She had no patience for this man. She crossed her arms, making no move to begin their drinks. “Where is that partner of yours?”

Lorcan’s eyes narrowed. “Working.”

She hated it, but a dash of fear and embarrassment tinged her stomach. Was he avoiding her? Did he completely regret kissing her? Gods, if she gave that much of herself away- her fucking name- to a man who could use it against her… 

Then, the bell rang again, and standing there, in his glory, was Rowan. Aelin ignored the relief that pierced through her stomach. His assessing green eyes tracked both her and Lorcan, as if he knew them both well enough to know that she would hate his guts. She doubted Lorcan felt differently about her.

“What the hell?” Rowan asked his partner. 

Lorcan gestured lamely to her. “I was getting coffee.” 

Rowan only squinted at him, but turned to her. “You know my order.”

She nodded, making exactly one. Rowan handed over the change, and she felt her skin tingle as their hands brushed. She made no reaction on her face, though. Her body. 

“You gave me twice as much.” She said, frowning at the change.

Rowan nodded towards Lorcan. “I’m buying his.” Then, he nodded to the door. Lorcan seemed to take the hint, but leveled a look at her that she could not decipher before he left. It made her nervous. Did Rowan tell him something about her? Did they start digging in her past? 

“Ignore him,” Rowan said, breaking her out of her worries. “He’s a dick.”

Aelin hummed. “And I’m that ‘bitchy barista’?”

Rowan cringed. “You weren’t so nice to me if you’ll remember correctly.”

“Because you were all sunshine and rainbows,” she mused. He huffed a laugh, and Aelin peered up at him behind the machine. He seemed about as tired as she was. “Late night?” She asked.

Aelin had to look away from the deep look in his eyes. “Something like that.” He braced his elbows on the counter between them, his voice becoming softer, like it was last night. Gods, she’d let him clean off her blood. Her cheeks heated. “How are you?”

She shrugged. “Same old same old.” When she tried to pass him the coffee holder, he reached for her wrist. Her eyes flashed up to his.

“Seriously.”

“Seriously,” she said. “I’ve been through worse. Again, I overreacted last night. I mean…” She struggled with the right words. “I’m glad I called you. But it wasn’t… what I thought it was. I told you that. I’m ok.”

He nodded, but she could tell he didn’t like the answer. But that was the answer. So he would have to deal. Instead of commenting about it, though, he only peered over the counter, as if trying to see in the back.

“Luca here?” She shook her head. “Emrys?” Again, she shook her head.

 “Just me. Luca gets here in an hour.”

Rowan glanced around the empty shop. Her heart started racing when he lifted his brows, and asked, “Can I come back there?”

She swept her hands out in front of her, trying to seem a lot less nervous than she was. “No one’s stopping you.”

As if it took no effort at all, Rowan swung himself over the counter. Her eyes tracked his strong arms. She used to be strong like that. Well… maybe not like that, but she used to be stronger. She’d always liked herself when she had muscle on her. Always felt better about her body. Aelin could absolutely admire Rowan’s body, even if it was covered in that stupid fucking uniform.

She tilted her head up at him. “Hi,” she whispered. Honestly, Aelin didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. Especially so out in the open. She knew her apartment wasn’t being watched… anymore. But she had no control over who saw what in the shop.

So, without thinking, she grabbed Rowan’s hand and pulled him into the back, just a quaint office. She shut the door quickly, forgetting how small the office really was. She and Rowan were nearly chest to chest. 

“What are you doing?” Rowan asked her. Aelin had a boyfriend. Gods, she really didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. But she knew that Rowan made her feel… something. And that was worth keeping around. Even if it was crazy, dangerous. She wouldn't risk losing a feeling. An emotion. 

“I-” she started. But she didn’t have the words. She had no defense of herself for what she wanted. She couldn’t even figure out what she felt, let alone be able to voice it to him. So instead she rose on her toes, staring at him. Waiting.

Rowan’s eyes flickered down to her lips. That magnetic feeling came back, as if she couldn’t stop herself from going to him. It was the same reason she didn’t lock him out every morning for the past year. In all honesty- she needed him. She needed to yell at him then. And now… 

“Rowan?” She whispered.

He shifted closer to her, staring down at her like a puzzle he could not solve. “Yes?” He whispered back, like he also knew how fragile this was.

“Kiss me.”

-

Rowan didn’t know why they were in this little office, didn’t know how she was or even if she was safe. All he knew was that she was right there, asking for the same thing he hadn’t stopped thinking of for hours. Still-

“Are you sure?” He whispered, still moving closer.

Aelin pressed further on her toes, her nose brushing with his. Teasing and testing him. He braced his hand on the upper cabinets above her, swallowing. “Well?” She whispered, an evil little look in her eye.

Gods, she was the devil. Worse: he was entranced with the behavior. “You’re very full of yourself, aren’t you?” He asked, his breath ghosting her lips.

She smirked. “Is it working?”

It was. Rowan leaned down then, unable to stop himself from kissing her. It was exactly as it was the first time: overwhelming. All consuming. Their embrace quickly turned heated, so different from last night. Rowan realized something very important in that moment: he needed her.

Fucking the consequences, Rowan grabbed her waist, pulling her to him. He pried open her mouth, quickly exploring her as she opened for him. When she moaned around his lips, he balled her shirt in his hands, untucking it from her jeans. It seemed that all the energy they’d spent hating each other had turned into… this.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, pulling. Gods, she was destroying him. The only sound in the office was their combined panting. His hands came up to grab her jaw, and she met him for every moment of savagery. She tugged harder on his hair, and Rowan pushed her back to the door, pressing her against it. He couldn’t stop, couldn’t think about the millions of things he should be thinking about when she was here, so warm, and entrancing, smelling of lemon verbena and fire.

When he lowered his mouth to her pulse point, her head fell back against the door with a bang. “Fuck,” she groaned. Rowan went wild with it, beginning to worship her neck, giving her what she deserved- before being roughly pushed back.

He glanced up at her, surprised, both of them breathing harshly. She wasn’t looking at him, though. No, she was staring at the floor, hand covering her neck. 

Her neck. Fuck. 

The mood was utterly ruined.

“Fuck,” Aelin said, mirroring his thoughts. “Fuck fuck fuck.” She lowered her hand, glancing at him with something like terror in her eyes. “There’s not a mark, is there?”

He inspected it closely, then shook his head. With that, she sighed, closing her eyes. Relief settled so heavily on her, it was visible. She nearly collapsed against the door.

Rowan had to rub his hands down his face, calming himself down. He was not the type of person to make impulse decisions. He didn’t know what she was doing to him. She had a boyfriend- an abusive, dangerous boyfriend. He just didn’t think when he was around her. It was why she could goad him into yelling matches- it was why she could drag him into this room and kiss him senseless. 

A noise came from her, and it snapped him out of his thoughts. He realized she was laughing. Laughing.

“Aelin?”

She bent at her knees, the noise a little bit manic. “Oh my gods.” When she looked up at him, he saw disbelief in her eyes. “What the hell is wrong with me?” He just watched her laugh to herself and shake her head. She started talking, but he was pretty sure it was to herself. “I guess I never learn my lesson, huh?” Aelin was rubbing her cheek, the scratch on it, probably unconsciously.

Rowan frowned, and he risked a step towards her. “Learn your lesson?” he asked, looking for anything from her. He was becoming obsessed with this, he thought. Figuring out her riddles, trying to understand her life.

Aelin tilted her head up, eyes shut tight, choosing to ignore his question. “What are we doing, Rowan?”

“You dragged me in here,” he pointed out. Rowan had no idea what she wanted. He was starting to think she didn’t know, either.

Her eyes swam, and he couldn’t decipher what she was thinking. Couldn’t figure out what was going on in that beautiful head of her’s. It didn’t help that his brain was still mush after that kiss. He really wanted to kiss her again. But- “What do you want, Aelin?”

Her mouth began destroying her nail, her eyes still processing. “I want to finish that kiss,” she said, honestly, a little beside herself. It was like she was reading his mind. Until she told him, “I think… I think we need to pause.” Her eyes flickered up to his. Nervous. “Is that,” she swallowed, making herself small against the door. “Is that ok?”

Rowan nodded, even though he really didn’t want to stop. But their lives were far more complicated than this room, and what could have happened here. Kissing in secret probably wasn’t the smartest choice, and for her, it wasn’t the safest. His stomach churned. He would always respect that. Rowan told her, “of course.” 

She sighed again. “Thank you.” But she didn’t like his nod, because she stood and squeezed his arm, her eyes honest. “I mean it. Thank you.”

Rowan realized how little she probably got that answer from people. How rare it probably was for her to get her way. He searched her expression. “Of course, Aelin.”

She closed her eyes then, soft. A smile graced her features.

Rowan nearly fell on his knees. Because that right there was the first real smile he’d ever gotten from her. Ever.

Not a smirk, or a devilish grin. Not a pained, forced smile. A real one. 

“What?” he whispered, not wanting to destroy it. 

She kept her eyes closed. “I just- my name. You use it so casually.” Her eyes opened, something clear in them. “It’s nice,” she said, before her tone changed. “Just don’t say it in front of anyone else.”

He nodded, so many questions on his tongue. “I won’t,” he promised. 

Aelin nodded, relief once again taking over her face. She was like a puzzle he could not figure out. 

“Why don’t we start here,” he said, wanting to keep her anyway he could. It was like his new addiction, learning about her life. “Join me for those drinks. Terrasen plays Adarlan tomorrow. We need more people to root for the Ghost Leopards in this city.”

She thought about it, her eyes glazing a bit. Processing. Planning. Finally, she told him, “Cairn would have to come.” Regret tinged her voice.

Rowan’s stomach rolled over, but he just nodded. “That’s fine.” 

She nodded, one of those fake smiles gracing her mouth. “Sounds perfect.”

He frowned at her. 

Aelin swallowed, searching his face. “As long as you can handle it.” Her voice dropped. “I can’t break up with him, Rowan.”

A strange tightness filled his chest, and he had to push away images of her, bloodied in her destroyed apartment, and how similar it looked to the scene he was greeted with when he used to come home from school. 

“Ok.” It was all he could muster. She was not his to keep. He had to accept that. Had to accept her choices.

“Ok,” she said, voice hopeful. 

He was hopeful, too. It was strange. It was new. It was a dangerous, ugly feeling. And he did not know what to do with it. 

-

“You don’t have friends.”

Aelin kept her eyes open, even though she wanted to close them with exhaustion. She knew Cairn wasn’t going to take this well, but he was in a good mood. This should have been going… better. 

“I made some.”

He flipped to another channel, and she had to bite her tongue to comment about how disengaged from the conversation he was. “Where? All you fucking do is work.”

The coppery taste of blood tinged her mouth where she bit her tongue. “I made them at work.”

“Who.”

It only then dawned on Aelin that she was asking him to go out with the men who’d arrested him. Fuck. “They come into the shop,” she swallowed, trying to not show her nerves. It was never good if he thought she was nervous. “They’re Ghost Leopards fans.”

He watched the tv for a minute, and that meant that she was to sit and wait. When it seemed like he wasn’t going to answer, she clenched her teeth and started on dinner. She’d have to bring it up again, later.

Her heart sank at the idea of missing it. All she wanted to do was pull Rowan into this apartment, and have him kiss her like he did earlier today. He could make her forget about her shitty situation, make her feel. Her lower belly was still aching for him.

She hadn’t felt such lust in… years. Hadn’t felt sexy in longer. But Rowan made her feel desirable. Not as an object to have, a thing to show off. He played with her, explored her. It mattered that it was her there, not just a body.

He made her feel safe. Her chest clenched with the thought. She ached for that feeling with every inch of her body; it was almost unbearable. 

She turned from the counter, giving it her last shot. “I’ll pay. For food and beer.” When he didn’t respond, she threw in, “I’ll drive, too.”

Finally, after making her wait a moment more, he waved her off. “Fine.”

Relief sank through her body. “Ok. Perfect.” She turned back around, facing the other wall. Tears pierced her eyes, strange and unusual. But she couldn’t help it. It was like she was slowly melting, every minute, and her emotions were breaking free. 

Earlier, she’d caught herself smiling on the way home. She could barely recognize herself. 

“Perfect,” she whispered again.

-

“He said yes,” she said, and she looked so excited.

Fondness spread in Rowan as he watched her. She had given him his coffee the moment he walked in, and told him the news not a second later. “Good,” he said, even though he wished she could just go on her own. Wished she didn’t have to ask. 

She just nodded, a smile gracing her lips. He wanted to stay there and just stare at her do that all day, intoxicated by her good mood. But he already got a lot of shit from Lorcan when he was ten minutes late to meet him at the office the day before. Rowan knew he couldn’t hide much from his partner. And though he didn’t want to hide Aelin- he didn’t know what there was to admit to. 

It wasn’t like they’d had a conversation about it. Rowan knew communicating had never really been their strong suit. He wasn’t even sure what the hell to call her in his head.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he told her.

A crimson color overtook her face. “Yeah,” she spoke through her smile. “I’ll see you tonight.”

-

Work was normal. Until it wasn’t.

His boss, Gavriel, called his unit into his office. He, Lorcan, Fenrys, and his twin, Connell, all crammed in, watching him with an air of caution. He was calculated, and to the point. He was a good boss, but he was stern, too.

And he was looking at Rowan. 

Gavriel cut to the chase. “I’ve called you all here because Archer Finn has applied for parole.”

Rowan’s mind went very, very still. The air had been sucked out of the room. He thought he might be frozen. It felt like all eyes were on him, but he couldn’t focus on that. He couldn’t focus on anything but the sickening truth.

“He’s not going to get it. Will he?” His voice sounded gutural in his own ears. 

Gavriel’s tawny eyes narrowed. “He’s been in there seven years.”

“Twenty,” Rowan cut in. “I was promised twenty.” 

His boss shook his head. “And you may get seven,” he leveled. “He’s applied because of good behavior,” Gavriel went on, but Rowan couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t hear anything but his beating heart. Couldn’t think of anything but Lyria’s pretty face, her smile when she held the sonogram up. Of their child. Of their life. 

Couldn’t see anything but her casket. Lowered into the ground. He didn’t even get to say goodbye. To kiss her goodbye, tell her to drive safe. He was too busy at work that night. She always said he worked too hard, that she loved him for how much he cared, but that he should start to put his life first. 

He was trying. He knew he was going to be a father, and that required more of him than his job did. He was going to take some time off.

It never got that far. 

“Rowan?”

His eyes snapped up to his boss, his body humming with all the emotion in his body. “Promise me you won’t do anything drastic. Anything stupid.” 

Disgust tinged his mouth. He stood. “You don’t need to worry about me.” His body moved without really thinking, just taking him out of this room. Away from his coworkers. Away from the godsdamned world. 

He didn’t remember how he got to the gym, all he knew was that he was beating the anger out. He had to get it out of his body, had to rid himself of it. He couldn’t have it in him, this anger. It made him dangerous, and wild. He just kept hitting and hitting and hitting. 

If he could be emotionless, he would. He hated the part of himself that was savage. He did better without emotions. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out where all this emotion came from in the first place. He’d gone seven years without it. 

But Rowan didn’t want to think about that right now. All he wanted was to beat his hands bloody, so that maybe these… feelings would be gone. He couldn’t think about Lyria, about the past. Because if he did… it might kill him.

I hope you enjoyed it! More to come after the holidays hehe. *runs away* 

Taglist:

@leiawritesstories​

@tomtenadia​

@fireheart-violet​

@backtobl4ck​

@morganofthewildfire​

@rowaelinismyotp​

@aelinchocolatelover​

@thegreyj​

@foughtconquered​

@swankii-art-teacher​

@booklover242​

@stardelia​

@numbers-colors-fashion​

@bookcide​

@viajandosinalas​

@rowanaelinn​

@elentiyawhitethorn​

[abiiors]

Omg, this is very random but I just want to ask how you became a 1975 fan ? Also, how long have you been a fan ?

oof sorry this is going to be long, because i have a very convoluted story lol.

so i had no clue who they were during self titled, i didn't even listen to a lot of english songs back then and even then i only listened to music that went super viral like i think i only listened to a bit of taylor swift and selena gomez etc.

then iliwys came out and i remember seeing the mv for the sound randomly?? (i don't even remember where) but it blew my mind for a lot of reasons because i was like wait!!! men can wear makeup!!! and look hot doing it??? (i grew up in a very conservative country/culture for context) and also the fact that they put the negative comments in it which i found so iconic back then (still do actually) so i started listening to some of their music (robbers, chocolate, somebody else etc) but not much. i definitely didn't have any idea about the band members i just liked some of the songs. i looked up the music videos and i knew what they looked like but i never tried to like find out more about them and stuff.

cut to some time later when i started dating a "band guy" whose only personality was listening to "indie music". i say it like that because i genuinely don't remember if bands like coldplay and radiohead were big in my country back then but to me, they were a new thing because again, didn't listen to a lot of english music back then. this guy happened to be a big fan of the 1975 (also arctic monkeys) and he was one of those "oh babe, you don't know what real music is babe" type of guys who would cringe at taylor swift/one direction songs which is exactly what i was into back then (still am, i would sell my organs to attend a one direction concert) and i started absolutely despising him and his music taste even when i actually kinda liked the 1975 (didn't know about arctic monkeys before him tho). i was like fuck this, fuck you and fuck your fav bands, i will never listen to them ever again out of spite.

so i didn't for the longest time. cut to a bit before notes (i want to say maybe mid 2019-ish) i started really getting into classic rock and stuff because i had a whole new group of friends who was into that (and they were really nice about it too, unlike the dickhead) they introduced me to a lot of classic rock artists, majority of whom happen to be british and so i just got more into british music in general which is how i was reintroduced to arctic monkeys and 1975. and basically when lockdown hit it was me (in a whole different country, without my family or friends), my loneliness and my spotify against the world which is how i became obsessed with both 1975 and arctic monkeys so yeah, pettiness and spite that i regret in hindsight but if that guy ever found out that i run a fan blog for both these bands now, i will actually never hear the end of it.

did he have good taste in music? actually yes, he did but he was a fucking twat about it and so we hate him.

[killeriknik]

Killer Fish #1:

2000s Christian Metal

cleaning out some drawers, i rediscovered this album today. unfortunately, the cd and front cover have been lost somewhere in my house (hopefully). but it reminded me of a subgenre, or really a movement, that i hadnt considered fully before.

i found this cd in the basement of an odd store, half of which is a Moon Pie General Store, where you could find anything moonpie related as well as typical tourist junk. however, the other part of this business is a christian book store. on the main floor they sold new books. past the selections of bibles and christian novels/self help/anything, past the surprisingly funny secular selections of diary of a wimpy kid and Five Nights at Freddys novels, and past the section of childrens entertainment, there is a GIGANTIC basement.

scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net

scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

im not sure where the basement items they sold at a discounted price came from. it was like flea market levels of unsold stock. im talkin odd sh*t. at points they had 18+ erotica from the 90s, some Star Wars Episode 1 merch i regret not buying, 14 billion copies of a political hate book about president Obama, and of course a shit ton of cds. ive found suprisingly obscure and amazing books there, but thats not what this is about.

sometime maybe 2020-2021 i found this cd for 3 bucks. being an edgy teen with a hatred of Christianity, i was enthralled to find such a cd with the album name "buried alive." at a time in my life where i had limited to no internet access but blossoming music taste (and an impressive cd collection), I listened to this shit SO MUCH. heres one of my favs.

(sorry, wish i could find a better site to link their music, but the only site they seemed to upload to was myspace, and for some reason the site is broken, idk im not familiar with myspace)

The band Inhale Exhale was a semi popular american metal(core) group, hailing from Ohio. and like so many independent rock bands with the best music youve ever heard, they promptly disbanded with only a few albums under their belt.

R.I.P inhale exhale, 2005 - 2013.

its that yummy yummy mix of metal, emo, melodic hardcore, and probably countless other labels (can you tell i have a distaste for genres?) that rocked the scene in the 2000s to early 2010s, around a time when the Jesus Freak Movement had revived and infused its 70s hippie values into the grungey, edgy and dark undertones of the late 90s-00s, delivering the gospel with a unabashed punch. truly of another era, an era i wish i had experienced. i think this was the first "metal" music i ever listened to on my own, but i found out just today that they were in fact a christian metal band.

this year ive been really into metal related music. but ive also been really into the concept of christianity. my family, really my entire community ive been raised in is "christian". going to "christian" schools, having only christian "friends", adult role models who were "christian", its always been about salvation and damnation. as i became a teenager, i evolved into a creature who despised this religion, for many good reasons im sure ill talk on another time, but also pure teenage rebellion. studying the bible this year (as a part of my last year in.. you guessed it... a christian school) has been oddly eye-opening. maybe ive matured since i last cracked open the holy bibbel. but ive found myself debating the idea of it. at its core, it seems to my mind to be the best sounding religion out there. what i love most is the rich story and the themes of love, redemption, brokenness, true evil and true good; they resonate with me.

christian metal really hits the spot. the themes i have deep history with, pared with the aggression and beauty of the screams and rage filled melodic guitar riffs, as well as my personally over powering, nostalgic/anmoiac obsession for the 00s and early 10s creates a great mix. its a movement of music i wish i could be present in.

and why did christian metalcore decline in popularity into the 10s and 20s? im sure theres not an easy answer. i mean, look at popular christian music and culture today. its

so.

BLAND.

so void of life and culture, void of our beautiful human qualities. they speak the same, often hateful, script; they water down the thought provoking concepts and stories of their religion, and they try to remove what they think isnt acceptable. a lot of these christian metalcore groups have abandoned their roots, stating their disagreements with Christianity, which of course is valid.

hey, im still not sold on christianity, im still learning. everyone has their own free will to find what idealogies or lack thereof to believe in. so i mean no hate

i do feel though, in certain circumstances perhaps, this says something disturbing abt modern christianity. its mindnumbing. its boring. its really sad and honestly, with how perfected it appears to be, its f*cking ugly.

it also seems to connect with the way life today just dosent hit like it used to, and i know im not alone in my age group thinking this. there seems to be a blandness encroaching on our art and lives today. in the music, films, internet; a corporatization and general simplification of our art has been slowly killing us.

i long for a time when christians could death growl about god. but honestly, this can be done today if we really try. fuck modern christianity, fuck modernism in general; this isnt just for the christians. go nuts. scream, riot, portray your truths how you want to, dont follow some guideline.

i might have gotten out of hand with this post, i dont want to get to philosophical here. i guess thats what this blog is for though. christian metalcore is really cool tho, check it out. you might be surprised how many popular metal bands from that era had ties to christianity. ill include some recommendations, or you can search it out yourself.

have a punk ass day,

-nikki

(yeah i decided to use my current name, fuck it)

some bands:

 A Plea For Purging.

Shiver.

Heart of a Child.

The Fall.

Malevolence.

Underoath.

Norma Jean.

For Today.

Impending Doom.

Wolves At The Gate.

Phinehas.

Midst of Lions.

Demon Hunter.

killer fish.

[whysojiminimnida]

YAY GAMES!!

Tagged by @lauraperfectinsanity because COOL PEOPLE DOING FUN THINGS ALL RIGHT OKAY LET'S GOOOO 💜

name: Julie but you can call me Julie. Or YSJ or Auntie Jaya or BITCH or whatever

sign:

time: 9:39 AM

birthday: September 24.

fav band/artist: BTS (as a group and individual members 💜), The Cure, the Police, KoRn, Insert 80s "alternative" band name of your choice here, I like music and have eclectic taste. I like everything except yee-haw country and I even like some of that. Beethoven Sunbaenim.

last movie: Prey. I started Uncharted but I got distracted.

last show: COBRA and Broadchurch. I got sucked in.

when you created this blog: Uh, 2021 I think? Maybe 2020. Pretty sure it was 2021 though.

what you post: the Jeon-Parks, other BTS, general Jeon-Park house elf shit, sometimes my cat or my boring-ass life and that's... it, really

other blogs: I've had many from stream-of-consciousness to a true crime blog that logged about 300K visits a day but was not monetized because I'm a dumbass. Currently this is it kids.

followers: I think about 1400 or so, I should look probably

do you get asks: OH I HAD TO EDIT I FORGOT THIS QUESTION WAS HERE and... probably but I have an irrational fear of my inbox. So it's either me answering tons of things all at once or not looking at it for six months.

average hrs of sleep: 4 or 16 broken up into 2-hour increments over three days.

instruments: Drums. I'm not kidding, it's all I play. Piano, very badly.

what i’m wearing: Adidas grey leggings with black and grey stripes and a white v-neck mens tee shirt size XL. Lipgloss, mascara and underwear. Maybe I'm braless maybe I'm not DON'T JUDGE ME

dream job: I already had it: ballet dancer and novelist. I wanna do more with the second one and also just be rich and go places and dress well okay. I HAVE DREAMS.

dream trip: Korea but also Spain, France, Italy, Russia and Siberia, Egypt, all the islands with beaches. I haven't been anywhere much, I want to go everywhere.

favorite songs: Black Swan, ON, Euphoria, Filter, Look Here, Still With You, Airplane Pt. 2, Promise, okay okay let's just put the whole discography on repeat and add the Jikook solos and collabs okay. But also: The Cure's Just Like Heaven and Lovecats and New Order's Regret and Blue Monday and Muse's Uprising and Kidneythieves' Things To Do Before I'm Dead and Coldplay's Fix You and Viva La Vida and Erasure's Love To Hate You and everything by the Pet Shop Boys and Dead Milkmen and They Might Be Giants' album Flood and anything by Paul Simon ever and many many others. I like music.

tagging: @towardtheblue - @kanmom51 - @onthecuterside - @monkeypug - @lorenuchi78 and whoever else has some shit to say (:

[head-empty-just-sigma]

tachihara, vanitas, miya, and inumaki for the character ask game ! (one from each respective fandom, hope it's not too much lol)

it’s not too much!! i’ll just put it under a cut cuz jeez these can get long xD

Tachihara:

fav thing: his jacket. i want it lol. but i like his personality, and his character as a whole. he was so dedicated to his role in the Mafia and his friends there and uGH it’s just so GOOD i can’t explain it

least fav thing: he hid his ability from us for SO LONG and yet it’s SO FREAKING COOL (i’m so bad at coming up with least fav things i might just not do it)

fav line: “Kill everyone you don’t recognize” >:D also “Orders made me who I am. So if I happen to die by those orders, I’ll regret nothing.” *sobs*

brOTP: Tachihara and Hirotsu best bros in the Black Lizard fr or him and Gin (even tho she’s a girl)

OTP: he’s not rlly. shipped with anyone. that i would see making a good dynamic… except Tachihara x Tanizaki if he ever joined the Mafia i guess

nOTP: Tachihara and Chuuya. there’s nothing there. don’t put something there. that’s Dazai’s property

random headcanon: he used his ability on his guns in the Mafia but nobody knew about it bcuz he’s just a good marksman in general, so no one batted an eye when he never missed a shot

song i associate with him: Boy in the Bubble by Alec Benjamin

fav picture:

screaming crying throwing up i want someone to look at me like Tachihara looks at future dead people

everyone else is under the cut!

Vanitas:

fav thing: his eyes are pretty auGh he’s a complicated character who does good things for ALL the wrong reasons but it makes sense? i just like him as a character ig

least fav thing: he. he assaulted Jeanne. yep. that’s it.

fav line: “There’s not much difference between humans and Vampires. They’re all terribly ugly, endlessly selfish creatures.”

brOTP: Vanitas and Dante lol pals for life

OTP: Vanitas x Noé of course

nOTP: he’s not shipped with anyone that i don’t like so? none ig

random headcanon: (idk if this is actually canon) he’s always cold, like 24/7 because of the blue moon stuff. he def used Noé as a portable heater

unpopular opinion: Vanitas and Jeanne do not have any sort of healthy relationship at ALL, but it’s not bad enough to be my nOTP. i still don’t like it tho

song i associate with them: idfc by blackbear (cuz he says he’s not attracted to someone who loves him back)

fav picture:

he was so cool for this like yes king save your boyfriend

Miya:

fav thing: his character design is adorable lol. i also love his personality, he’s def one of the best side characters in the anime imo i love this little bean

least fav thing: i give up i can’t think of anything

fav line: whenever he calls someone a slime or troll idk why it’s just so funny to me 😭 new insults for me to also use tbh

brOTP: Miya and Shadow aka the third wheel duo

OTP: he’s an actual kid bro

nOTP: none i guess cuz i don’t ship him with anyone and neither does the fandom rlly

random headcanon: he watches isekai anime (and particularly likes ‘that time i got reincarnated as a slime’)

unpopular opinion: i have mixed feelings about his “cat boy” vibes tbh

song i associate with them: i feel like he’d listen to K/DA (yknow the LoL fake k-pop band thing)

fav picture:

doing God’s work istg

Inumaki:

fav thing: his speech pattern because of his cursed technique they’re so funny and cute 😭😭

least fav thing: literally nothing he’s my fav character in jjk 🥺 he shares my number 1 character spot with Megumi auGh

fav line: he says. like nothing. lmao. BUT i love his voice in general i can’t lie— props to his jp seiyou

brOTP: Inumaki and Panda or Maki. all three of them tbh they’re besties for life they can’t be separated

OTP: Inumaki x Okkotsu obviously lol

nOTP: none ig

random headcanon: sometimes he also sends text in rice ball ingredient language just because

unpopular opinion: can’t think of anything

fav picture:

he’s such a skrunkly little bean

[sleepycupcake-uwu]

Imaging Being Stood Up By Someone, And Help Comes From An Unexpected Place (Annabeth x Bi!Fem!Reader)

a/n: THIS IS NOT WRITTEN BY ME! I am posting this for a friend

Okay, so you'd only agreed cause he seemed kind and cute.

Well, now sitting at the cafe shop, Y/n kinda -really -regretted her decision.

She felt stupid, absolutely stupid, sitting there for about half an hour straight and avoiding the pitiful stares directed at her (she was not a fan of unwanted attention). There wasn't even a text from him, much less a call, which made Y/n conclude he'd stood her up.

Nick- that was his name, right?- was a douchebag. Oh, and the next time they were to cross paths, he was gonna pay.

Just as you started standing, sighing softly, a mess of Blonde curls sat next to you. Her eyes met yours, looking apologetic. Oh no, if she was gonna give you the pity talk-

"Sorry I'm late babe, traffic sucks and my phone died. This date 's on me. I'm so sorry honey." -wait, what? You didn't even know her. You considered her being a creep, but she didn't give out any possessive or untruthful vibe. You took in her tanned face, blonde curls- what you'd call a typical California girl. But her eyes ruined the image. They were startling grey, matching the pendant and owl earrings she was wearing, but if stormy was a word, Y/n would definitely describe it so. Right now they seemed to urge her to go with it, and honestly, it seemed like the best shot. Hot, a part of her thought. Shut up, she reprimanded, coming back to the moment.

"Uh, y-yeah, it's okay, bub. I know how busy work is. It happens." She assured, and sitting back down (and away from the attention, finally), Y/n let out a sigh out relief. Only when she heard a chuckle did she look at the stranger in the uniform- which was being (somewhat) covered by a hoodie.

"That was close- but smooth," she said. "Thanks," Y/n whispered. The girl winked. "That's what we do. Help each other out there." "How did you-" "I saw everything- I actually work here. I'd been in your place before, douches ditching me. Who ever did this, they don't know what they're missing." "Oh, um...sorry...and thanks...Annabeth." She read through the peeking tag. Unique, but it fit her. "Oh yeah, where are my manners? I'm Annabeth Chase. Nice to meet you." "Y/n L/n. Nice to meet you, my knight in shining armor." She teased.

Having a real conversation and getting to actually know each other. Which was, as Y/n would describe, lot of fun.

Y/n learning Annabeth was an architect, a part time waitress, college student and all brains.

Trying to talk in Greek- Annabeth being a major fan of it and Y/n having taken a course for it.

Hot, sweet, and smart     Oh my Gods... Admit it, you like her    ...Fine. I do Don't forget she likes (Fav. TV show/ book/ band) too...  Okay! I have a crush on her. Gosh, what do I do with you?

Annabeth instantly liking the cozy and fun vibe Y/n gave out.

Discovering you are bisexual.

*Internal gay panic*

Laughing, eating pizza and discussing Mythomagic strategies.

Leaving only when the shop was closing, Leo and Calypso (the owners and Annabeth's friends) having to practically throw them out.

Getting each other's number and Annabeth asking you out- on an actual date.

Y/n agreeing, hella excited (may or may not have squealed when she reached home).

Maybe Nick standing her up wasn't really a bad thing. Things happened for a reason, after all.

[madasrabbits]

hey!!! anon that asked for mcr recommendations and advice on getting past the “missing out” feeling, back again!! first of all i wanted to say thank you sm for writing such a big response and giving me so many helpful recommendations!!!! all of this really means a lot to me and is extremely reassuring, so thank you <33 and i 100% agree that despite my regret of not getting into the band earlier this is definitely the best time to be an mcr fan based off of everything that’s been going on!!!! it is unbelievably heart-warming to see how happy and healthy everybody in the band is right now!! and seeing mcr tumblr go completely off the walls over cheergate recently was such a fun time and god did it make me Feel. i just remember going through an abundance of posts that night from trans/nonbinary people talking abt how much it meant to them and how happy they were for gerard, and for the same reasons it meant a lot to me as well. ALSO omg three cheers for revenge enjoyer hello!!!!! i literally found a three cheers shirt the other day and immediately impulse-bought it bc i knew i’d be dedicating myself to mcr’s discography very soon and that album cover is one of my favourites ever!!!! the album cover of all time (real). not to mention three cheers has the ghost of you on there my babygirl my sweet cheese my rotten soldier <33 oh and i listened to sleep for the first time recently as well????? mass casualties. i think sleep, mama and the ghost of you are my current faves pre-full-discography dive!! and on that note i’m so curious to know what ur fav mcr songs are!!!! AND ur fav three cheers song!!

ANON IM SO HAPPY UR BACK AND GETTING INTO THEM … peace and love on planet earth. its always a good time to be an mcr fan but we are thriving right now. theres a certain contagious joy in their happiness that spreads to us i think and its so beautiful to witness .also im so glad that u are a sleep enjoyer because shes my special girl <3333 love of my life ….

also ur so right abt three cheers album art truly iconic and we will always love . Always

ALSOENEURIUUUGFH okay i feel like my faves shift a lot because my taste changes and also because i truly do not believe they have a single bad song . BUT i do have like a loose top ten, with my top two being boy division & prison (sorry for being gay) and then everything falling into a nonspecific order after that : sharpest lives / jetset life / ftwww / vampire money / honey, this mirror / sleep / our lady of sorrows & either bury me in black or hang em high. i think. i dont know i have brain damage and i could write individual theses about every song they’ve ever made. im dying here . its so hard to be a bulletsrevengeblackparadedangerdaysconventionalweapons girl in this economy

and prison stands as my fav three cheers song but i usually stick jetset life as ALMOST tied with it but also its such a good album like truly no skips. every single song makes me go batshit fucking crazy everytime.

[pixiegrl]

9 and 30-32

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@escapesos, bc just a girl with trans woman Leah is one of my all time favorite fic and more people should read it. Peyton explores boundaries in this fandom, with gender and themes, and I love them and this fic. They are a breath of fresh air.

@valiantnerdtm. They remind me that fic is fun. Fic writing is fun! And oh my god do I Love their dreamy, poetic version of Luke.

@ladybugnoah wrote Between Us for me during fic exchange last summer and it is truly one of my fav fics. comforting and warm to read. More people should read their fics too, for his different themes and ships and also just. getting this fic so right

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

“I can also finally share some exciting news! I’ve been hinting at it for a few months, but I can officially tell everyone that I have a new line of makeup coming out in collaboration with Covergirl! And to celebrate, Michael and I are going to do a “Boyfriend Does My Makeup” video using the new makeup,” Luke says, gesturing to Michael to come on screen. Michael rolls himself over, smiling at the screen when he comes into frame.

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Luke. I love writing Luke. I write him my way and that's that.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

I'm gonna go off some recent ones:

First:

“He’s not my boy. He’s an overly perky pain in my ass.”

“But he’s a cute pain in your ass,” Calum points out. Michael blushes. He regrets telling Calum once that he found Luke and his fluffy blond curls and his lip ring hole cute. Calum has yet to let it go.: from All I want for Christmas. It was a christmas retail worker muke I wrote and I enjoyed this line alot.

Second:

“I’m not sure how I can possibly top what you’ve already said, but I’m going to try. Ash, darling, it’s silly and cliche, but I had a crush on you since the day at the movie theater. I thought I would never see you again, but then you walked into band practice as our new drummer and I knew it was fate pushing us together. It took us a while to get here, but I’ve loved you for so long and I love you so much it comes as easily as breathing to me. You’ve always made me feel cherished and special. No matter how bad I get, the mood I’m in, you’ve always been there for you. You know what to say to make me feel better and even when it’s hard, you never back down from trying. I’ve never felt anything but loved when I’m with you. You’ve helped me to explore myself, to become more comfortable in the person I am. You’re my rock, my support system, my love. I can’t put it all into words how much I love and cherish you, how happy I am to have you in my life, to have you as my person. I promise to love you forever and ever with every part of my being. I want to share every moment with you. I love you,” Luke says, choking out the last words, vision blurred from the tears they know are falling. Ashton’s no better, tears fully running down his cheeks, smiling around it as he wipes his eyes. He leans over, wiping at Luke’s cheeks, pressing a soft kiss to each. Luke grabs his wrists, squeezing lightly before letting go.: From I'll Give you the Best Years from the lingerie luke series. This was from their wedding. I spent ages worrying about their vows. I was very proud of this.

Third:

“Stay here. With Michael and me and the whole crew. We like you. We’d be happy to have you around. It’d be nice to have someone else who’s stuck here for all eternity,” Calum says, smiling gently, hand still in Luke’s curls. Luke turns to look at him. It’s a thought he’s had before, just staying on the ship. Luke’s not ready to go back to the sky, to leave the life he’s built here and the home he thinks he’s found. It seems sadder and sadder everyday as he thinks about going back to the sky, being alone again after learning what it’s like to be among a family, to have people to love. Luke likes the life he’s built here. He likes the crew, Michael, and Calum, who treat him like they’ve known him forever. Luke realizes, looking at Calum’s earnest face, hand on Luke’s shoulder, that they want him to stay as much as he wants to.: from I'm a Falling Star. I just really liked this bit in the fic. Idk why