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roses-prose · 2 years ago

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Your Love Isn't Gone

park chaeyoung x reader

word count: 1005

a/n: inspired by an ao3 fic i read a long time ago

You're not sure what made you believe this was a good idea, meeting up with your ex and coming over to her apartment alone. But here you were now sitting the opposite of her, catching all the small things you remember about her.

Roseanne park. The woman who had it all and at the same time, feeling like she had nothing at all. Her fingers dragged across the edges of the pages in her tiny journal, the one she always brings around to jot her ideas down, as she always loved the way the pages felt against her fingertips. She sets the journal down, her lips meeting the probably now very cold rim of her cup to take a quick sip of coffee.

"Hi Roseanne."

Her face seems almost shocked as she puts her cup down, her pink lipstick marking the edge of it, "I haven't heard you call me that in a long time."

"Well", you continue to avoid her gaze, eyes scanning through her apartment, "We haven't spoken together in a long time anyways."

Sitting in front of her now, you hate to admit it but your heart still feels that spark of affection you've felt all those months ago. Neither of you speak up as you pour yourself a glass of water, the quiet jazz of the speakers in the corner of her room not enough to drown out the silence.

It was common for you to be left alone, sitting in the silence but for her, maybe not so much. She hated it. She hated how it made her feel. Maybe that's why she was away so often.

She lets out a small sigh, her face riddled with the look of disappointment, either because of you or herself, you don't know. "I'm sorry."

Your brows knit together, "For what?"

Her hands start trying to talk for her, the words not seeming to be able to come out of her mouth, "For... you know."

And this was where she, the global superstar, seemed to fall short. The way she can't seem to tell you what's on her mind. The way she can't express herself. "I don't know."

She lets out a small chuckle, trying to lighten the mood as her fingers fiddled together under the table, "You're really not making this easy for me."

Your lips turn into a wry smile as you poke at your food that she prepared for you, not really wanting to eat a single bite despite it all looking honestly delicious. "I'm not sure what you mean, Roseanne."

Her face visibly seems hurt at the name that escapes your mouth, "Please, can you... not call me that?" Her voice almost seems to crack at the end her question, her eyes softening as she lets out another dreadful sigh, "I know... I fucked up. Badly."

Invisible strings seemed to pull at your heart, your strong façade seeming to break away as you mulled over her words. She never admitted her mistakes. She'd always cover them up with kisses and lies.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me nor am I asking you to even let me back into your life but... I want you to know that I am sorry." Her tone is soft. And for the first time here, you see her smile, albeit wryly. The silence envelops the two of you again as you took a sip of your drink, her eyeing you from across the table.

The silence never was comfortable per se between the two of you, but it was always there whether you liked it or not. "... Do you remember our first date?"

She seems to be caught off guard by the question, before she laughs softly into her hand, "I do. When you fell on your face, right?"

You smile gently, "then you fell right behind me so I quote on quote, "Wouldn't feel embarrassed doing it alone"."

"I'd still do it now, you know." she remarks, the awkward and stiff tension in the air seeming to disappear slowly between the two of you. She points at the bridge of her nose as you laugh, "If you look closely enough, I still have the scar. All the staff members were so mad at me that day."

You two begin to reminisce about all the fun memories you two had together from that time she baked madeleines and accidently used salt instead of sugar leaving you thirsty and disgusted, to that time she came over to your house at 2 in the morning to celebrate your birthday early with a song she made, or to that time you thought you misplaced your favorite hoodie but in reality she was wearing it the entire day.

It's the thought of the quick kisses you two shared in the morning before she went to work, the days you two decide to sleep in and call in sick, and the stupid things you two did together that makes you realize it slowly but surely.

You missed her. You missed the fun you two had despite everything that's happened and you see the way she remembers it all, the memories seeming to spark something inside of her. You set your glass aside again, the sight of her feeling so happy and carefree making you smile.

"... I do forgive you." The words don't come easy to you as your emotions begins to clog up your throat, the words coming out so abruptly, that even you weren't expecting it.

You see her eyes light up as she stares at you in surprise, her lips almost beginning to twitch into a small smile at the name you call her. "It's hard to hate you... Rosie."

"So does that mean... will I see you again?" The question is abrupt as your own words, almost interrupting all train of thought as her tone is hopeful and ambitious.

You smile gently, "I still have the same number." And that's all she really needed to hear to know you weren't gone for good.

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