#that they obviously read!
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😭 😭
#hey at least they’re self-aware!#but shhh people need to stop pointing this out to them #it’ll make them feel self conscious#idc if they repeat stories everybody does it and it’s different how they tell it every time!#also lol to the Brian memoji icon#so many know it all’s in the yt comments#that they obviously read!#t&k
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my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"
#obviously she meant 'don't get it done and don't tell him you thought about it' but i am choosing to read it as#'gaslight him into thinking you've been titless all your life'#be shh now#containment breach
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I have a feeling that beneath the little halo on your noble head There lies a thought or two the devil might be interested to know You're like the finish of a novel that I'll finally have to take to bed You fascinate me so
You Fascinate Me So, Blossom Dearie
#good omens#gomens#good omens s2#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#my art#made with stolen time over the course of two extremely busy months but I'm so glad its done#Aziraphale's reading a first folio obviously#cones of dunshire voice: it's about the DETAILS#extremely excited to introduce everyone to this song about DEEPLY YEARNING for someone who annoys the hell out of you#its a banger
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Colin: Don’t mention reading or books, men don’t like that.
*sees her and Lord Debling reading a book together*
Colin: fuck I gotta learn how to read.
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Bruce definitely trained all the Robins to abandon him if things got bad. He'd give them scenarios like him trapped under something in a fire, hypothermic conditions, he's too injured, and they need to get information to Lucius, and the list goes on. And to date, the only bit of training his kids have continually failed, whether in simulation or practice, is failing to leave him behind.
#Not counting Red Hood Jason for the most part. I have serious doubts there#Also not counting anything zombie/vampire#Aside from that I'm tallying my canonical memories and I'm pretty sure this holds true#obviously it won't once this reaches better read people but I'm quite sure it's the case?#batman#personal#batfamily#on the safe side#batfanon#fanon batfam#bruce wayne
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(not) recognising the self in the other...
#the opposite of the post about them seeing 'rivals' and being like Hah. theyre not REAL Rivals (homoerotic tension)#bartocav#zosan#one piece#art#feat nami <3#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#bartolomeo op#cavendish op#btw if anything like this already happened in canon i obviously dont know about it cos i dont read or watch op <3
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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for context: I read the hobbit first over the course of two years when I was like 13, but I'm only now starting to read lotr. having a blast tho!
anyways, reblog if you feel like it 🙌🏻
#lord of the rings#the hobbit#lotr#hobbit#yeah guys idk i just feel like most people read it really young#but jolkein is really wordy and idk how y'all got through that at 8 yo#my attention span could neverrrrrr#obviously not as wordy as like. les mis. but you know what i mean.#lots and lots of context all the time. love that for his worldbuilding not so much for my hold on the plot#and yes i have watched the movies#i didn't completely miss the cultural zeitgeist#yay first time making a poll! if you vote or read my tags this far you are a gem 🫶🏻#edit: i realize i spelled tolkien wrong. i feel like this proves my point#but also i feel like thats something you spell with your heart and not your mind
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reminiscing about childhood books after that ask - all due respect to cool sleek movie toothless....but to me, he will always be a mean little gremlin
#my art#dragon#illustration#how to train your dragon#httyd#httyd books#i love you small toothless. i love you and your beautiful eyelashes. you are not overshadowed to me#also fireworm (top right) and monstrous nightmares as a whole were SO influential on my art and also my ocs#i never thought about it until very recently but my god. my god. so obviously a heavy influence on florawell especially#i drew her a lot as a kid she was my fav. cause she was mean and snooty. nowadays i do appreciate the ugliness of seaslug though#i wanna read the end of that series eventually....get some childhood closure#cressida cowell's drawing style is so charming and good...like drawing intentionally ''bad'' (10000 quotation marks) is so hard to pull off
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Part 2/2
By the time Stanley had realized he wasn't as alone as he believed himself to be entrapped in this ravenous abyss; he had honestly begun to suspect that he was finally starting to properly lose his mind.
In all the ceaseless miles that Stanley had journeyed during his apparent permanent residence within the dark devouring void, not once had he encountered another conscious, walking, talking being similar to himself. Every other formerly living creature that he had crossed paths with had been so... silent. Empty. Dead, in every sense of the word. It was as though the very essence of life itself had been sucked out of their bodies with a straw, their forms slowly falling apart piece by piece under the vicious gluttony of the darkness that surrounded them. They looked like they actually were supposed to be there, unmoving and comatose, unlike him.
So, when Stanley first began to encounter the twins, all of a sudden, he wasn't the only one in the dark.
When meeting the first pair of them, he found himself standing in a lake.
He hadn't even noticed the changes at first. It felt as though he had been walking for weeks on end, his body moving purely on autopilot and his aching legs leading him towards a destination only it knew. A thick fog of forgetfulness and flickering memories had descended upon his brain like a heavy blanket of numbing static as he had traveled. In this absentminded state, he hadn't even realized that the ever-present undulating, buzzing darkness surrounding him had begun to gradually shift and morph to form a horizon line; stretching into tall looming cliffsides that almost seemed to close in on him. Once the nonexistent floor beneath his soles abruptly began to ripple and warp, like the disturbed surface of a shallow puddle; only then did he finally notice his transformed environment.
The transition was seamless, almost dream-like. One moment, he was still surrounded by that filthy, overwhelming abyss; and the next, his boots were suddenly plunged deep into the cold, dark lake water.
The silence didn't leave, however. It still choked and stuffed its way into Stanley's ears to clog up his mind with thick cotton; the eerie quiet not quite matching the calm, almost serene scenery the void seemed to have abruptly transformed itself into. Like a movie with its sound cut off; leaving only the unsettling hum of the projector to fill the empty air.
It was odd. The lake was surely incredibly deep. He could obviously tell from how thin and pathetically small the shores appeared all the way from where he now unceremoniously stood in the middle of the lake. Stan could look down and see the darkness below his feet swallow what meager light that managed to break through the murky waters. The overwhelming black almost seemed to beckon him, gaping and haunting; a bottomless underwater pit of pitch black that never seemed to end.
And yet, he didn't sink. Stanley remained perfectly level, the almost ink like waters stopping just at ankle level, as though he were held up just above the surface by some invisible force. Even the writhing waves seemed small and low, as though the waters were shy to climb up his legs further than that. It was odd, so very odd.
However, it wasn't nowhere near as odd as the sight that greeted him when he finally lifted his eyes from the waters.
Stanley had crossed paths with truly unbelievable sights in this strange somewhere; from bursting, collapsing stars; to the imploding heat death of entire universes, but none of them seemed to hold the candle to what he saw then when he lifted his eyes:
Children.
Two, to be exact. Two, nearly identical looking children stood motionless before him; completely soaked through to the bone as though they had taken a plunge into the frigid water that pooled around their ankles. It was a girl and a boy, both adorned with twin expressions utterly devoid of emotion, their wide eyed stare seeming to burn holes into his thin jacket. Their drenched clothes sagged off of their scrawny frames; thin rivulets of water dirpping off of them and disturbing the glassy surface of the water at their feet. The little girl's hair had messily stuck to her face in thin sodden strands, her cheeks still full and round with youth just like the boy's. They looked young. Too young to be in a place such as this.
Oh, but their eyes; their eyes.
They burned with such anger; such injustice, brighter than any dying star or galaxies he had ever seen. Anger towards the world, to fate, to whatever cruel deity that had deemed them fit to be sent to this wretched place so prematurely. They were too young to be here; to be entrapped like he was amongst this hungry darkness. And yet, here they were, sheer denial against their own untimely deaths being the only thing keeping them awake and conscious amongst the dead and rotting. A show of juvenile defiance to nature itself so vehement even the all-consumign darkness seemed hesitant to devour them whole just yet.
It saddened him. It saddened him to know that they belonged there, that they were supposed to be there. He could see it, he could feel it; they were dead. No amount of determination could deny that universal fact.
When they spoke, Stanley could hear anger:
Stan chuckled in a futile attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere that threatened to crush him whole. "A lake monster? You kids and your imagination," he teased, hoping to somehow rid the poor kids of the haunted look that seemed to whirl in their glares. No child should have been burdened with such a knowing look; such eyes that looked like they had seen everything there was to see about the world, the horrid and the good.
Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to say, and Stanley's faux pas was rewarded with a scowl from the little boy. A world's worth of sour contempt etched into every contorted groove that his grimace seemed to dig into his much too young face. Stan suddenly felt guilt squeeze at his weary bones for having caused that.
"That's what they all said," the boy spat out, eyes shining with a sheen of wetness Stan wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with.
Stan left that first interaction with the twins with the feeling of guilt and sorrow still clining to him.
He couldn't have known, at the time. He couldn't have known that this wouldn't be anywhere near the last time that he would meet the pair. He hadn't realised just how many of them there were. After that first pair, his endless journeying within the Abyss was hardly be spent alone anymore. Countless more times, he came face to face with the exact same two young and impossibly worn faces; forced to meet one pair of beaten and bruised kids after another.
Not one pair had died the same death as another. Some had gotten lost, prey to whatever threat that had snatched them up out in the open; some had fallen from high up; some had been crushed under an incredible weight; some had burned; some eaten alive; some zombified. Some didn't even seem physically harmed at all, body perfectly intact, and yet that same faraway, distrubed look in their eyes remained.
He thought the worst ones were the ones he found alone. A little girl or a little boy, left all lonesome without their other half there. Twins, he remembered a pair of them telling him once.
Once, he had come across a town full of silent, stone statues. It was a rustic, shabby, almost nostalgic looking town- odd and strangely familiar. The sight of it had tugged at an aged memory that had long since wasted away in the back of his mind. It was serene, almost deceptively so. The sun shone; the air smelled crisp and fresh; numerous waterfalls continued to crash down from the tall cliffsides; and a soft nonexistent breeze whistled through the thicket of pine trees that blanketed the outskirts of the town. None of it seemed to match the gruesome scene of the hundred wailing statues that littered every inch of the town.
He had found the boy's statue on the other side of town, deep within the green forest and toppled over the gnarled roots of a towering tree. Like the rest of the townsfolk, he too, was frozen mid-shriek; his stone face twisted and contorted into a mock impression of a silent scream as his body lay paused in a writhing struggle. He made sure to be gentle when he carried the boy's statue over to place it beside the girl's, whose statue stood far deeper into the forest, sporting the same rictus grimace of terror as her brother's. It somehow felt wrong for them to have been so far apart from one another, even in death.
He had come to dread meeting of the twins. He hated every second he had to confront yet another pair of dead children that did not belong here, but fate had decided they did. He despised having to listen to their tales of woe as they wept about the injustice of the world, of having died young; he despised himself for being unable to do more than weep with them.
"We don't belong here, Grunkle Stan," he would listen to the little girl weep, calling him a title he didn't recognize. He never remembered if they had ever told him their name, but they all seem to know his, without a fail. "If we're dead, then what about you? What about Grunkle Ford? Mom? Dad? What about them? We can't be dead, we can't be," they would say, confusion and frustration written all over their faces. They didn't understand. They didn't understand why they had come to the darkness so early, so unfairly.
He never knew what to say, he'd never been good with words.
All he could do was kneel down to their levels and engulf them in his arms, hoping he could somehow squeeze the pain straight out of their bodies in his embrace. He hugged them, because what else could he do?
#OKAY SO YOU KNOW THAT ONE SCENE IN THE BOOK OF BILL OR SMTH WHERE THEY SHOW ALL THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSION OF DIPPER AND MABEL#WHEN THEY WEREN'T AS LUCKY AS THEIR ORIGINAL COUNTERPARTS#THAT'S WHO STAN MEETS HERE#I need you people to know that I had to rewrite this whole thing like 3 times because my dumbass#was writing a whole ass fic in TUMBLR DRAFTS so obviously it kept deleting itself <3#but it was worth it for the Stan angst <3#watch how many trigger warnings I can fit in this post#tw child death#tw death#tw dead animals#tw graphic description#tw graphic violence#tw graphic#tw body horror#tw scopophobia#tw gore#TELL ME IF I GOTTA TAG MORE!!#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#dipper pines#mabel pines#pines twins#absolutely not beta read- so if there are any grammar mistakes or plot holes... shhhhhh you saw nothing...#my writing#my fic#my art
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ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU
I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.
like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#(not me realizing that meleanor doesn't actually appear non-silhouetted until part 5 so uhhhhh. whoops.)#(i know a bunch of you read the spoiler-tagged stuff though so i'm putting my life in your hands)#revan would be the funniest one i think because it's just raven but with the vowels switched and i'd be over here going WHAT COULD IT MEAN#anyway i'm here to give the people what they crave and it's obviously references to 70s american sitcoms that spun off of happy days#mork and grimdy. i-is that anything.#the problem of course is now that i might have to actually come up with a bunch of laverne and shirley jokes#when i haven't...actually watched it in a million years#(my personal pool of media i consumed growing up is a good 60% made up of random things i found to watch at 3 am because of insomnia)#(this probably explains a lot about me) (the opinions about zorro adaptations anyway)#hold on let me marathon all eight seasons and -- wait i'm just now finding out there was also an animated series#in which they joined the army and their sergeant was a literal cartoon pig but also they went to space and fought giant gorillas?#but how does boo boo kitty factor into this
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like a thing, make a character lineup to figure out how i would draw them. thats the way my brain works! you can find close-ups under the cut!
these were fun :] theres a lot of characters in this show that would be fun to draw, is there anyone you guys wanna see next? 🤔
#gravity falls#dipper pines#mabel pines#pacifica northwest#stanley pines#bill cipher#waddles the pig#stanford pines#wendy corduroy#soos ramirez#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#gabuart#some notes for fun:#pacifica changed the most because i wanted to give her a more…preppy popular girl kinda look#i did this for no particular reason#just thought it would be cute#bill is really easy to draw obviously but i feel like i could do better somehow. its hard to top his design as it is though so#uhhhhhhh i headcanon dipper as transfem#for like…post-canon#i got emotionally attatched to the hc SJFHDJFH#but i wont police the pronouns people use for her#i dont have that kind of time or energy lol#but if you’re reading this then. now you know
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Obsessed with this bit in the preface to the 10th Anniversary edition of Ancillary Justice:
Specifics aside, "I thought this would be fun and relaxing. It was not." is a great summation of what happens with like 80% of creative endeavors.
#imperial radch#also liked the bit where she mentioned checking the AO3 page for her works to see the numbers go up#even though obviously she doesn't read them#i need to write at least one Radch fic. for her. make those numbers keep ticking.
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happy pride to people with ‘contradicting’ identities i love you and you’re doing it right
#[a]#it is probably evident enough but for the sake of clarity obviously this post does not mean there aren’t other ‘right’ ways to identify#specifically i made this because i was thinking of mspec lesbians and gays but it is for anyone#edit this breached containment about 900 notes ago hello everyone in the whole world#edit 2 very emotional reading the tags people are leaving on this. i love you#pride
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chat which of these is a funnier way for Bill to read fanfiction
#genuine question. my thought process was the theraprism having funny outdated computers. but also I like him looking down in the laptop one#that bit about Bill watching duchess approves in the NYCC panel is KILLING ME#ill decide once I've drawn stan's panel because obviously thats who's fanfic he's reading#sketch#gravity falls#bill cipher
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I love that hickey is trying to insert himself into some kind of relationship with crozier but like every niche he tries is already filled by someone else. us irish should stick together - no, crozier's colonial parallel is silna. let me be the little guy on the captain's shoulder - no, that's jopson. surely the flogging will change something - yeah, for thomas hartnell. well he hates me now but he'll surely see my inner depths - no, that's fitzjames.
and then hickey finally technically succeeds at becoming like the only man crozier wouldn't forgive - he kills a whole family! he massacred the men! he makes him eat goodsir! he loots fitzjames' boots from his grave! he leads them to doom and worse doom! - and when he is giving his villain monologue crozier only reaction is just. you could have joined up.
#the terror#they do some brilliant things with hickey's writing but also it's kind of funny#and I do think he's a parallel to crozier too just not in the way he wanted/hoped#also I like that 'you could have joined up' is right there with silna's look when goodsir is like we are dying for the economy#i love the crozier&silna paralllels...#also generally I love antagonists trying to force a relationship with the protagonist who is like who knows you#i blame reading black cat in my formative years#this is obviously more shitpost than polished meta but it is a thing I noticed
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