#It always feels nice to get a hug
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My best friend came into town today briefly for something. Regrettably, I work tonight. But he still came by to see me for about 15-20 minutes before I had to start getting ready for work. It was brief, but we both enjoyed it. And I got not one, but TWO hugs, both initiated by him! That might seem super silly, but besides words of affirmation, physical touch is my biggest love language and he's also typically not physically affectionate with male friends. So that made me really happy and smile.
#Me#Personal#Friends#Best friends#It always feels nice to get a hug#Especially when it's from your best friend or someone you're close to#So it really did make me happy#Anyway I am a giant sap in case that wasn't glaringly obvious before lmao#Do you see why I love Tyler and Josh's friendship so much?#Also it probably does look pretty funny outwardly bc the dude is built like a Greek god and I am pretty big and jacked myself#So there's a level of humor there lol#Anyway was really nice before I start this 3 in a row stretch#I really do wish I was off tho so we could have actually hung out a bit#But I'm still thankful for the time no matter how brief
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I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')
#thank you!#he's been angry and bitter and miserable for so long it feels nice to give him an ounce of happiness for a change#some reasons to live besides spite and sense of duty#answered#anonymous#I always saw him as a character who's unsalvageable corrupted and doomed by narrative#and that the only way out of his miserable existence was a well deserved death#it sounds extremely cliche but I genuinely had no idea it would be so cathartic to view him through a lens of like#hope and healing and being worthy of love and saving despite your evident flaws and failings#unplanned redemption arc kapow#Vasco really just sauntered in and flipped the whole situation on it's head#sorry folks he has a boyfriend and gets regular pets and hugs and kisses now
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For so long, I only felt what she wanted me to. Now I have to do it for myself, and I feel like I'm drowning.
#Baldur's Gate 3#bg3edit#Shadowheart#Astarion#Shadowheart Hallowleaf#Astarion Ancunin#Ranger creates#always swore I would never be one of those people who gifs video games and look at me now...#this moment just really touched me#it didn't come up on my first playthrough and I feel like it has an added weight playing as Astarion#we don't know anything about his family but they're presumably still alive and I can't imagine that would be an easy reunion either#(this was also shortly after confronting Cazador and almost going through with the ritual)#anyway I'm not romancing Shadowheart but it's nice to just get really sweet friendship moments#on my first playthrough I was constantly wanting to hug everyone so it's a win every time I can#and her story makes me so sad
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CHARLIEEEEEEE YOU'RE SO COOL AND FUN AND SILLY IT'S A JOY TO HAVE YOU AROUND (figuratively) AND I HOPE YOU ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME AND THAT WORK ISNT TOO STRESSFUL AND THAT YOU'RE HAPPY AND CAN DO WHAT YOU LOVE FOREVER <33333
HLSLKGLDDHSKDVFHSJDFIHJD;KB PIGEON THIS IS ILLEGAL YOU CAN'T BE NICE TO ME THIS MUCH!!!!!!
That's so sweet that's SOO nice YOU'RE so nice!!!!! You're always the coolest and you make beautiful art for anything you draw even fandoms I'm not in I'm like oooooooh~! cause you make everything so pretty. AND!!! You always have amazing ideas, every time I see you on the dash it's like OOH YESS HERE WE GO cause it's a banger every time!! I hope YOU have a really good time and college is chill and manageable and you get so many purrs and cuddles from your kitties every day and you experience joy every day!!!!
#Ask#Pigeonstab#I'm gonna cry dude you can't do this!!!#You're so sweet and kind thank you ;-;#As soon as I learn to swim you're getting SUCH a hug!!!!#A gross wet ocean-water hug but a hug nonetheless!!#Casting my spell of Feel Loved Always upon you!!!!#I hope all these exclamation points convey how much I'm wiggling around and kicking my legs#Such a sweet message I'm dying ;-; clipping through the floor falling into the backrooms#Telling that backrooms monster about how nice and cool my friend Pigeon is#And then going to bed after I finish one more thing whoops#Thank you Pigeon <3 1 million blessings on you
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and don't you guys forget to take care of yourselves! i mean it!🫵
#if things feel a bit too heavy you can always take a breaaak#go do something nice and funnn#check your other fandom;)#hell even silly little stuff about this one: past reblogs. your funny tag. watching clips is pretty good too!#keep up with your trusted blogs#qsmpblr is still here#we are still here we got chuuu#hopefully things get better🤞#giving you a pretty flower#a hug#and a pat on the head#MWAH#qsmp#qsmpblr
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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me when i win a tf|2 match with my ronin
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#I've read some of you talking about your irls reaching out#Positive and negative thinga#And I'm... In the middle#I haven't hidden my love for 1D since it took over my life 3 years ago#So the people that know me know this about me#Granted they probably know more about Louis but still#One of my closest friends was a bit insensitive at first and I just couldn't reply#She then sort of came through and has been checking in#I don't think she realized how much it mattered to me#Then I told my best friend who's still back home#I also don't think she understood how important they are to me#She hasn't checked in again but she has sooo much shit on her plate that I don't even blame her although it still... A little bit#But I'm also like trying not to think they actually knew how seriously important these bois are to me#Anyway. Another friend... I saw him right after I found so I was still very much in shock and he knows about them and my deep connection#Saw him the next day he hugged me and asked me how I was and this was after the shock wore off and I had cried all night#I almost broke down again... But he hasn't checked in again and I'm a bit sad about it#Someone I met briefly in the summer and got to talking about the bois reached out and asked and I was glad they did#My sister has been checking in which has been very nice#Again... Idk... I don't need them to understand or be all over me asking or anything#It's just... Yeah.#And it just reinforces my gratitude for this space and the friends I've made the past couple of years#I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have this and you all#But then again... The biggest reason I'm still in this community is the people I've met#So of course I would always have you here#Understanding something that outsiders could never#It's like trying to explain why Louis is so important to me... If you don't feel you won't get it#Rambles ramble#My eyes hurt
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just had a fucking banger of a session at work with some teens,, i feel like it’s such a breakthrough like this is so rewarding omg
#we’re doing da (domestic abuse) awareness but tailored specifically to them due to their risky behaviour and the fact that one of them was#recently in a da relationship and the group just like abandoned them kinda thing#so we’re doing some work around support systems terminology and intro to the basics like doing scenarios based on real stories etc etc#and after 6 months i think im like actually getting through to them#im not trying to change minds or make them feel bad!! im just trying to give them as much info as possible and as many options and pov’s as#possible and today i think they’re really starting to try and are actively participating#i try not to talk about work too much on here but god fucking damn this felt good#like they went from making fun of each others answers and being silly to actually like?? tearing up at the end??? which having people cry#never nice and is always understandable with this work but to see them all take it serious and to recognise the behaviours and how#unhealthy they are the severity of it all….. like they had a big group hug and then discussed the session as an unprompted bonus (!!!) for#like 20 mins :’)#as fucking corny as it is like THIS is why i do the job kinda shit you know? just feels good to know these kids might be more ok than they#would’ve been otherwise#stelle yaps
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Flames,, blanket boy, my beloved
I gotta draw more art like this of him, he's such an odd creature I love him so much
There's so much to his character that I never talk about aaa I'll make a lore post eventually
#i have thoughts about this guy#he's so hungry for affection and that social and physical contact he see's all the people in his city get#he's takes up so much after them in so many ways#maintenance on this guy... mechanics working on checking all the wires and circuits and touching all the sensitive nerves and neuron flies#its nice that his entire structure is well taken care of but he also wouldnt be able to focus on anything else#he's so used to working in perfect undisturbed conitions..must be so distracting when something changes#he'd have his overseers watching as they plug things in and test stuff and poke around in his guts#and maybe he'll enjoy it a too much and he'll beep when a cable is pushed in.. its not like the sounds are unusual#the structure is alway whirling and buzzing.. whats a few extra clicks and hums when a particularly sensitive component is touched#its not like they would know unless they were really paying attention to the sounds and looking for a reaction#trying to please their beloved supercomputer#he longs for the same love they're capable of but it does quite work out. They can't hug him in a way that feels the same#does affection mean anything to him when its so little. They cant love him in a way that properly means something#i guess flames eventually getting into a relationship fills that affection hole#someone who speaks the same language. someone who he can relate to and understand#someone capable of touching all his systems in just the right way#ajfjsj went off i the tags here uh im so tired im kinda losing consciousness as i was typing oops#rain world#iterator#rain world oc#iterator oc#oc four blue flames#drawins#suggestive
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By the skin of your teeth (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#Pyramid Head#The Captain#Blood#The cuts themselves are just black and white because I'm controlling myself lol - clearly not That much with the rest but hey!#Still it is a very nasty cut for how nonchalantly I've drawn them all haha - ZEX's back too he's just facing forward#I also momentarily forgot that he was in his uniform it's fine don't worry about it lol#All these speculations on where and how about the injuries and then just - What Uniform That I Am Enamoured By? Haha#I've done the same thing with DAX I keep forgetting about his poor ankle and then it comes up and I'm like ''Oh yeah haha I knew that''#How are some details so sticky and others so smoke-like! Some stay in my brain and others - pffbtl how silly#All the same it's still the Funnest Fun <3#There's something so Extra delightful to have Seen a setpiece - an object - an idea - and then get to interact with it <3 <3#Hitting Pyramid Head with Zelnick's frying pan! Forget PH I can't believe we had the budget for the skillet's appearance fee ♪♫ Hehehe#No but honestly Pyramid Head was incredible ✨ Wonderfully scary and distressing and tense and full of fallout! Terrible things!! ♪♫#I've never drawn him before so it was interesting! :0 His appearance in SH2 looks all squished#Like his belly is jutting out across from a broken spine! Quite spooky#I don't think I fully managed to capture that - kinda just looks like his hip bones are very prominent hehe - but maybe some other time :)#I hope they don't run into him again - for their sake tho haha ♪#DAX continually pulling ZEX behind him to try and protect him (and failing) was something I really Had to put to paper <3#As well as snuggles!! Even before they got Really hurt I was like Oh everyone needs hugs so bad :'0 And they do!! They need so many hugs!#Maybe especially Zelnick poor Captain :'0 Give this boy a break#The injuries are more of a self-guide hehe I'm not sure how accurate they are - they Feel accurate based on handedness et al#I was the least sure for Zelnick since he got tossed (poor thing!) but at least bruises are always fun to draw hehe#The return of my rainbow bruises lol - I only use three colours they're just so vibrant!#DAX trying so~ hard not to be taken in hehe what could these feelings be! Familiarly repressed? No surely not ♪#Be nice ♫
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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"what does familial affection feel like" normal person questions to ask at midnight
#and for normal person purposes (fic writing)#kalat incoming but i'm absolutely certain i've felt it at a time when i thought my family was safe and would describe it as euphoric but#at the same time i have vague recollections of people describing their affection towards their family members in ways i couldn't relate to#warmth? i think i've felt warmth but not as deeply. protectiveness yeah sometimes. crying for them when they're in pain#the negative leaning emotions outweigh the positive ones#bc i'll hear someone go 'i want to wipe my little sibling's tears away when they're sad' or 'i desperately want to give my dad a hug' and#in spite of having family members who are more affectionate than most ppl get#i just don't feel that??#then again safety and security have always felt conditional on assimilation and i knew that as a kid#ig i built up an emotional blockade in response (though i Know i can feel it. can't emphasize enough that familial love feels euphoric)#anyway this was spurred by me writing the line 'he wished to wipe [his tears] away' and going wait is that normal#just an extremely weird juxtaposition bc my entire family are close and emotional and affectionate but at the same time#emotionally closed off??? like it's a fucking stage play and you have to look nice for god#eugh#kalat#familycore
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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stewing over how mike wants william to hug him so bad but never asks because why would you, as a man, hug another man ( yes even your family ) and also because he keeps a tally of every time william said no and holds it against him and has made it such a huge thing in his own mind that if william did hug him he'd flinch and what i'm really getting at here is that michael can get to a point where he's so entrenched in a build up of small slights between big fights that he shoots himself in the foot and denies himself comfort, creating a cycle where he constantly craves william's affection but also refuses it every time it is offered, which makes william upset, which makes him offer it less, which convinces mike that his father doesn't love him, which makes him withdraw and refuse affection, which
#oh boy six a.m.! ( ooc )#|| I'M NOT WORDING THIS WELL I DONT FEEL WELL.#|| but outside of like Just Abuse they are complicated to me in that.#|| ugh it's hard to talk about.#|| because i don't want it to come across as victim blaming.#|| but the reality of familial abuse is that sometimes. like. the environment is so unhealthy#|| that you start fucking yourself over bc you expect it to always be bad.#|| and like that's not to say that if only victims gave their abusers the benefit of the doubt things would get better.#|| but rather that resentment can build up and create such a powder keg that like#|| otherwise normal interactions suddenly become fodder for future fights.#|| I HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO WRITE. THIS ISNT AS COHERENT AS I WANT. DO YOU GET ME?#|| basically not every one of william's impulses is evil.#|| he can want to hug his son and be nice to his son and it can come from a place of love (from his pov).#|| but they're so FUCKED and it's been going on for so LONG#|| that even when William is being genuine mike is like ALARM. ALARM. ALARM.#|| WHICH UPSETS WILLIAM.
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18 + swaymark!!
oooo thank you!!
#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark
okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.
#…this so is not a five sentence summary but ALSO this manages to perfectly align with something i was obsessed with (that media video)#like yeah is that pause reasonably a buffering time to a weird question? yes!!! do i want to read into it & make swayman a bit uncomfortabl#also yes!!! sorry i decided to give them tragique but they were assigned by spotify. the other option for this song was an ED fix-it fic#about healthy sex and learning that it can be a part of a normal relationship!! sex is weird and fucked up!! but like. that’s just because#i have always interpreted this song as a) unrequited best friend love & you’re worried you’re gonna fuck it up b) virgin who doesn’t know#what sex is and is scared to tell anyone and then option c) people pleaser keeps going along with it but can’t anymore#also OBVIOUSLY they end up fine. whether that ends up being jeremy finally telling linus (oblivious) i don’t want to do this with you#i need to get over you & them creating a platonic space & sway ends up with someone else OR linus has the oh. true. i simply never#considered that i could be gay for you option OR the one i have just invented but is now my favorite because i love a good polycule is that#linus & his wife simply add jeremy to their relationship. and then this song becomes jeremy scared to have sex with linus’ wife at first lo#liv in the replies#the interviews in that video doing the lord’s work fr but also that ‘do you not miss him’ feels SO uncomfortable. say no! but then he leans#in with the dirty jokes comment & i know i’ve made like eight variations already (sorry. that’s how my brain works) but it is soooo fun#to me personally if they are broken up but now have to act nice & keep doing all these rituals & sell us on the narrative & they’re just#trying to see who’s going to crack first. needle each other into laughing or getting irritated enough it shows through & the other one wins#do even more aggressive hug rituals!! get a medical warning from the athletic training staff!!!#moregraceful
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