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#IVE BEEN WANTING 2 COME BACK IVE BEEN JUST
missfertileandferal · 3 hours
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lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3
i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:
Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.
Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey
My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time
The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.
One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain
I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬
I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho
That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration
my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!
new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘
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tiyoin · 2 days
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You know twisted anxiety reader is gonna hate the events from book 5. Like "What do you mean people I barely know is staying here?"
They're just invading on reader's safe space. The only place she can be for a few hours without being so anxious she can't think or breath.
NVM ALL THAT
What does she do in the other events she can't be at the dorm? In book 3 does she sleep outside? In book 4 does Jamil make Kalim tell her Yuu and Grimm are okay or smth? Like after book 2 she doesn't really have a safe space anymore. People are constantly at the dorm.
Does she find a place to hide away when more people start approaching the dorm?
Anyways twisted anxiety reader is the bravest soldier. I wouldn't have made this far. Btw love all your work and you don't have to answer anything that's spoiler-ish/at all if you don't want to.
no because 🌀 will become a cryptic at ramshackle 😭
each guy will have their own interaction with her, but only at night. Jamil finally put Kalim to bed at 1 in the morning, only to find mc snooping through the fridge for a midnight snack
vil gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (even he cant ignore nature for beauty sleep 😔) and mc is finally getting ready for bed and its a 🫵😲 🫵🤨 moment between them
rook gets up super early to work out/ go for a quick nature walk only to find mc on the porch watching the sunrise
Kalim gets up super early because he just cant keep his excitement in only to find mc on the couch doom scrolling and they have a heart to heart 🥺
epel comes back to the house early mad after practicing (he HATES this) only to find mc trying to learn the moves and having fun while doing it, helping him with his process of 'changing his fixed mindset' a bit
ace finds mc on the roof watching the sun set and they have a confrontational teasing moment that brings them closer
deuce forgot something at heartslabyul and was going to sneak out to get it but as he opens the door mc is returning from...wait just where was mc? doesn't matter, they both go together and bond 🤭
but other than these cute one on one moments, mc is in HELL, she cant do ANYTHING ANY MORE BECAUSE BOYS ARE EVERYWHERE!!
she goes to the bathroom for me time, only to have someone pounding on the door yelling about how they 'forgot they were lactose intolerant.' more than once has someone accidentally walked into mc's bedroom thinking it's there's because every room looks. the. same.
mc cant even explore in the middle of the night because EVERYONE IS AWAKE??? THE HOUSE IS NOW ALWAYS NOISY and now she has to temporarily find solace somewhere else- wdym mc is now you's assistant?
ive been thinking about how mc fits into the chronicles of twisted wonderland.
I think mc would follow along with yuu and grim to leona's dorm, but she'd try to make as little of a fuss as she can, but, leona here finds that more annoying and gives her extra things. (he also feels bad for her 😭)
but mc doesn't go the first time to the Scarabia when yuu and grim get trapped, not feeling in the partying mood. but she does try to visit/ go there (because she promised yuu and doesn't want to let them down) the next day... or maybe in a few days?
its either mc also gets trapped or gets kidnapped by one of the leeches in the middle of the night when yuu escapes to the lounge 😭
but yes, mc gets forced to start exploring more and more of the campus as more and more people decide to cause her problems (call it the 'push of fate,' that causes you to react to your situation)
that's where singer au and ice skating au comes from... maybe she comes across a club or the heartslabyul animals!! or an 'abandoned class room' that's actually used for a club and is then forced to join said club....
I think mc would have a whole array of hiding places she can use that will eventually come in handy!!
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fuck-customers · 2 days
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I love you I love you I love you I love you. I understand you are in constant pain. I understand recovery is not linear. I understand that some days you will not be as capable as others. and I am ok with that. I will never be upset because you are unable to help as much as before. there's no shame in that and I never want to make you feel bad about inhabiting your body. I know a body can be a difficult thing to have. but. if I come in to help. and you don't WARN ME about needing to put more effort into helping you move. it will actually physically hurt me. so I'm trained in how to help other bodies move, right. I could hypothetically get you into bed and/or into dry/clean clothes with you as dead-weight. I have done this before with people who are fully paralyzed (or heck I have given literal post-mortem care if you want to know what actual dead weight is like) but the way I hold MY WEIGHT and move my body CHANGES depending on how much weight I'm going to actually move. if I already know you. and I know that 90% of the time I can provide light support to help you roll to the wall so I can change your brief. I'm less likely to do things like: get the bed up to a height that lets me stand with my back straight (because it takes too long and there are literally 20 other people I have to help within the next 2 hours or I can be tried for neglect). and if I'm already bending down and expecting to just give you a push as you do most of the rolling, and then I realize (halfway through the roll) that you are not just not helping BUT ACTIVELY RESITING because you're in pain. it will ruin my back for the rest of the day if not the rest of the week. and there's no reason not to just tell me it's a day you need more help. That's a decent part of WHY I asked how your day was. yes, it's mostly because I'm polite and I genuinely care about how you feel, but ALSO it would be a great time for you to be like "Oh, actually my hip's really been bad, and everyone keeps making me roll on it". then I can change my approach, I can ask what exactly hurts and try to come up with a way to help avoid more pain. I'm not going to belittle or question or shame you for having an off day, I promise. I might even have a different technique that keeps you off your hip altogether. I want to help you. I'm not working this job because it's the easiest way to make money. I find genuine joy in being a part of your life and helping people in the way ive been trained. I enjoy your stories and insights. I consider you a "work" friend more than my actual co-workers. but this job is wearing on my body, and when you don't warn me about how much I'm going to need to use my body. I hurt myself AND I run the risk of hurting you more. please just let me know before, please.
Posted by admin Rodney
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googledetective · 4 hours
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my thoughts on the new episode as always, as I am currently losing my shit lol. I know a lot of people dislike me after last ep when I spoke up about my thoughts, but this time I'm ready to be more mature about it.
1. I love the Hu argue uhhh thingy! I forgot what it's called ngl! I love her and Nico's new sprites too, they were really all amazing and conveyed so much emotion!
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And then Hu said this 💀
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genuinely insane analogy to make here. I'm sorry, but that was actually insanely uncalled for imo.
2. I think everyone forgot Hu's custom weapon is wire, (if you realized and predicted this, huge props to you), and I did not expect Nico to try and frame Hu for murder like that. NicoHu divorce arc when??? Just kidding, but they're much more cruel then I originally thought. I completely understand trauma from not being accepted as the person you are which was likely in the form of bullying/abuse, but I was genuinely surprised that they really try and murdered Ace just because they didn't like him and they didn't want to go through that again. Very interesting. I also feel very bad for Hu, because she's poured her heart into trying to protect Nico, and even though her methods are EXTREMELY flawed, it must hurt to know someone you really tried to help would try to frame you for murder. This makes me wonder if Nico felt Hu was a threat to their sense of self like Ace was, if they were going to try and pin a murder on her. I'm glad Charles and J told Hu to shut up though, because she was becoming unreasonable. I really hope things turn out the best for her though, because it's clear she's coming from a place of kindness, even if her kindness is mostly self-serving.
3. As much as I don't really like the guy, I'm very glad to have seen Ace pop off. Everyone has treated him like shit, and even if he's treated everyone like shit back, he did not deserve to be almost murdered and then for people to just not care. I really hope Ace ends up making a friend if he isn't the killer, because he really deserves someone to care about him the way mostly everyone in the cast already has someone.
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4. They both make very good points here. I think Ace deserves an apology, but a real one.
5. "of course I regret doing it, I'm not Levi" - Nico
THATS ACTUALLY INSANE- but that may be my favorite line of the ep. I'm glad Nico regrets the crime though, because I was scared for awhile they didn't and there might be another incident of the same thing again. This makes me think they won't try and kill again, but it's drdt so you never know, and I think they're a definite threat if they get provoked to that point so easily.
6. I feel so bad for Rose, but let me say, dare I say, I think Whit asking if Rose is okay might've been the sweetest thing Ive ever seen. A lot of people tend to forget that Whit is actually very compassionate, so I'm glad to see that part of him shine through again. Rose is so human, and I think she may be the most realistic character I've ever seen portrayed in a fangan. A lot of characters are able to just get back up after a murder, but she's stuck, and I think I would be the same way. Unfortunately there's zero mental health professionals (obviously, cause they all need to be in a ward) in drdt, but I hope that she maybe can come to cope in a healthier way with what's going on around her, because she doesn't deserve this mess. I didn't actually realize before that the cast had put her on a bit of a pedestal due to her amazing memory, but it makes sense. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I hope that Rose comes to peace with the turpentine and the tape thing because it really isn't her fault and that she can get help for her trauma due to Min and Xander, and Teruko's almost death. No matter how much people expect her to memorize a crime scene, she's human, and we all take things at much different paces.
7.
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Hey David, didn't Whit teach us that trauma is a serious thing? You know I've been defending this guy a bit because of how he helped Eden and how I think he's trying to do what's right, but NEVERMIND. Because what the actual fuck is wrong with him to say something as messed up as these two statements. Rose and Arturo do not owe you anything, and they deserve to heal healthy, and at their own pace.
8. Teruko defending Rose was not in my ch2 trial bingo card, but oh my god, that really is sweet. I think Teruko really has started to change from talking with Rose.
I'm running out of images so I can't include her monologue, but it genuinely makes me happy she's starting to get some sort of character development. She really deserves it, and Charles really deserved being so fucking right about being social, lol. Also Teruko thanking Rose with that genuine smile on her face- brought me to tears. I hope they become friends :)
9. Ace and Eden, huh? To be honest, I'm completely torn and I can't see it being either one of them, but then again, I can't see it being anyone. I know so many people are complaining about not having a culprit reveal this ep, but I'm fine. I could wait another year and a half for the reveal. Actually, I don't think we need one at all. Maybe the true drdt is the friends we made along the way. Maybe it's better to choose delusion that nobody could've done it than it to have been Ace or Eden. Maybe, I killed Arei.
(I'm not that smart so I don't think I should be making killer theories, lol. I think it's safe to say I should stick to memes.)
10.
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LMAOOOO. She right though.
11. "It pains me to come to Ace's defense" - David
another laughable moment, but a win for the Acevid shippers, I guess. I don't think David was lying though, and it was my suspicion all along that he had seen the body before anyone. I'm not very smart so I'm a bit confused as to whether later they're saying David actually did see her body (which is weird bc he'd have an alibi), or if he thinks someone else might've seen it and wanted to include that as a possibility.
12.
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Teruko handled this whole situation super well, I was very impressed with her. Obviously you can't rule Eden out as the killer and Teruko explained that, but she was so compassionate and understanding about it that it made me cry. I never thought I'd say this, but here's a Teruko W. As for Eden pleading... I wish I could say more and I'm sure I'll be able to later, but it's just so likely she could be the culprit that I can't take anything she says at face value rn, and I was having trouble empathizing with her. Of course that's just my take, and I have already chatted with others who felt the whole scene was just a heartwarming experience, and that makes me really happy. This being said, the fact Teruko immediately turned to Ace as her main suspect TOOK ME OUT. I feel so bad for him he has literally done nothing but be suspicious to warrant this, while Eden is at the same level of suspicion. I really like that Teruko is playing favorites now, because Eden's been so good to her all this time.
13. I forgot to include David trying to get Teruko to not trust others!!! Shit!!!
Is that seriously how he plans to end the kg.. I can kinda see what he's going for bc so far the trope is in most danganronpa that you need to trust others to live and be fulfilled (not saying drdt is gonna follow that trope though). Hm.
Bro is actually down horrendous for Teruko though 😭
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tierlist after watching this ep (kill me now)
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bridget’s sister - part IV
pairing: james hook x fem!reader
summary: final part of bridget’s sister!
type: angsty then fluffy :)
CW: bullying
WC: 3.8K
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | not proofread!
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“I don’t know what happened, B!” you sobbed, blowing your nose into a tissue before throwing it into the mountain of tissues next to you. “H-he said that he wanted nothing to do with me!”
Bridget sat down next to you, placing a fresh box of tissues in your lap. “I’m so sorry, Buttercup.” You laid your head on her shoulder, crying into the sleeve of her shirt. You were clearly handling your first heartbreak well. “I just… I thought he was better than that! That he would never do this to me!”
Wrapping her arms around you, she pulled you into a tight embrace. “I know that it really hurts, I do. But, if it makes you feel any better, he doesn’t deserve someone as sweet as you.” You looked up at her, your lip quivering like you were a lost puppy. “I lo- liked, I liked him, Bridg. Why would he do this?”
“I don’t know, I really don’t. But, he’s missing out on a really great girl.” Bridget got up, grabbing your trash can from over by your desk and going over to the other side of your bed, swiping the mountain of tissues in. “I love you with all of my heart, but you’ve been in bed for the past three days. You’re not going to feel any better if you sit here and mope. You’re going to get up, take a nice shower, and we’re going to go out and do something.”
You shook your head, pulling your comforter entirely over yourself. Bridget huffed, grabbing the ends of your blankets and ripping it off of your bed. “Come on, put the pout away.” she said softly, grabbing your arms and not so gently dragging you off of your bed. “Get in the shower, right now. You smell like the Black Lagoon.”
“That’s not nice!”
“I love you, but what my nose is smelling isn’t nice. Come on, shower time.”
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You followed behind Bridget as she led you out of the dorm building, bringing your hands up to shield your eyes from the sun. “You haven’t been outside in three days and all of the sudden you’re a vampire?” Bridget asked, giggling. You rolled your eyes. “Shut up, B. I don’t understand how this is going to make me feel better.”
“We’re going to go to that nice little cafe that they just opened up. I heard that they have the best danishes. Ella is going to meet us there, too.” Bridget grabbed your hand, continuing to walk with you. Across the courtyard, the VKs were walking around, presumably looking to find their next victim. Your eyes wandered over to Hook, and he was staring right back at you.
“Buttercup, let’s go.” Bridget noticed your wandering eyes and wrapped an arm around your waist, forcing you to keep moving. “Yes, you’re going to see him around school. But, we’ve gotta move on.”
“I guess…” you mumbled.
The two of you made your way to the cafe, the smell of warm croissants and hot coffee hitting your nose as soon as you walked through the door. “It smells heavenly in here, B. Like, I think I just actually died and went to heaven.”
“Hey, guys!” Ella called out, waving at the two of you from the table she was sat at. “I got you your favorites.” You sat down, immediately digging into the chocolate chip muffin in front of you. “How’re you feeling?” Ella asked, looking over at you. You shrugged, shoving bites of muffin into your mouth. “Like I got my heart stomped on. But, this muffin is pretty good.”
“Well, that’s better than yesterday. What was it yesterday? You wanted the eels in the Black Lagoon to tear you apart? Yeah, I think that was it.”
“Not nice, Ella.” you mumbled. “I think I feel a little better. I just don’t understand what happened, we were fine.” Ella shrugged, reaching over the table to hold your hand. “Everything happens for a reason. He’s just a villain, don’t get so worked up over it.”
You huffed, pushing your muffin aside. “No, but he’s not just a villain, and he showed me that! I don’t know what, but Uli did something to him. He’s evil, not a monster.”
The girls stayed silent, eating their pastries. They knew that you were upset, but there was nothing that could be gone. You lost Hook, maybe forever.
“I just… it sucks. It really, really does. Things were going really great, or at least I thought they were. But, hey, we weren’t even together for that long. I’ll get over it.” you grumbled, stirring your drink with your spoon.
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You sat at your usual table during your lunch, this time a lot more alone. You hadn’t been alone in so long that you forgot what it felt like. What was once peaceful was now just… depressing. Hook usually sat with you, telling you about his day and sneaking little bites of your food from you. Now it was just you, or so you thought.
“Hey, princess!” Maleficent swiped your lunch off of the table in one fell swoop, sitting in its place. “Sitting all alone? Such a shame…” she snickered, the rest of the VKs slowly joining her. They were like fruit flies; once one is there, more are bound to show up.
You avoided their eyes, opting to stare down at your lap. “Go away…” Hook scooted closer to you, his hook finding it’s familiar spot under your chin. “Easy there, lass. Why so glum? Hmm?” You pouted, feeling a pit of anger bubbling in your chest. “You’re a jerk, James.”
He put on a fake pout, acting offended. You rolled your eyes, moving your head away from him before standing up. “They’re right. You are nothing more than a vile, evil human being. It really sucks, I thought you were more than surface deep. Fooled me.”
Hook’s eyes flickered, showing the tiniest bit of remorse before he went back to his cold demeanor. “Boo hoo, princess! Cry us a river.” Maleficent smirked, moving closer to you. “You’re lucky Uli isn’t here, she really wouldn’t be happy with the way you’re talking to us.”
“She knows where to find me. If she cares so much, she can say it to my face. Oh! By the way, James…” you went into your backpack, rummaging around before pulling out a dark red sweatshirt. “This is yours. You left it in my room. I should’ve fed it to the eels, but I’m not a horrible person.” You shoved it against his chest, forcing him to take it. “Now, uh, if you’ll excuse me. I have better things to do than… this.”
Hook watched you walk away, his jaw dropped. Morgie giggled quietly behind him. “Hoooooooook, you really messed up.” James sneered, shooting a glare at Morgie.
“Well, if he doesn’t want Uli to hurt her, he’ll do as he’s told.” Maleficent moved in front of Hook, staring him down. “Isn’t that right, James-y?”
“I don’t think spelling him was a good idea.” Morgie whispered to Maleficent, loud enough for everyone else at the table to hear.
“Shut up, Morgie!” Maleficent reached her hands up, covering Hook’s ears. “It’s for the best. It’s not like the little princess is going to figure it out, she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore.”
“But, he really likes her. What if we just, like, kept it a secret?”
“I said shut up, Morgie.”
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“Alright, class. It’s time for everyone’s favorite thing… partner work! Everyone get together with your station mates and study for the upcoming exam. I will be at my desk to answer any questions!” Merlin announced, making his way over to his desk and sitting down. You grimaced, your eyes slowly glancing over at Hook.
Pulling out your notes, you finally turned to face him completely. “Alright, James. Do you even know how to do literally any of this?” you asked, your eyes involuntarily looking him up and down. He immediately noticed, a smirk growing on his face. “Enjoying the view, darling?”
“You need to knock it off.” you growled. “Was this all just some sick little game to you? What? You befriend the lonely girl and make her think you care before ripping her heart out? Fun game, Hook.” You turned away from him, reading your notes. “I don’t even care if you fail, I’m done with you.”
“Less chatting, more studying!” Merlin called out.
Hook looked over at you, feeling a pang of guilt in his chest. But, once again, that feeling was quickly overtaken. It was like there was someone in his head, controlling his every thought and movement. He sighed, pulling out his own notes. He did start paying attention in the class just a bit more after he met you.
After an hour of sitting there and not talking to each other, probably the longest the two of you had gone without talking since you met, you shoved your belongings into your bag and raced out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang. You couldn’t stand to see Hook any longer. No matter how much you tried to push it aside, you were still hurting. Seeing him made all of those feelings resurface.
On your way out of the room, you bumped into someone, making your drop your bag on the floor. You really had to watch where you were going. You groaned, looking up at who you had bumped into. “Oh, uh hi, Morgie…” Morgie giggled, picking up your bag and handing it to you. “Hey, y/n! How’s it going?”
“Your best friend is a big jerk, Morgs. You’re cool, though. Always will be.” You gently nudged his arm. Hook sauntered out of the classroom, a scowl growing on his face when he saw the two of you talking, and how you had your hand on his arm. He walked up to the two of you. “Well, this is nice and all, but Morgie has to get to class. Goodbye, Morgie.”
“But, I do-”
“Goodbye, Morgie.”
He nodded, waving goodbye to you before making his way to his next class. You glared at Hook. “I will never understand you, James. I told you when we first got together that this was a bad idea. You said you didn’t care. So what gives? You’re torturing me over here.”
Hook just stood there, like his mouth was physically incapable of saying the words. “Cool. I’ll see you around, James.” you mumbled, walking away from him.
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“What did you do, Uliana?” Hook asked, stomping into the lair. “What did you do to me?” Uliana turned to face him, rolling her eyes. “Hello to you, too. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” James snarled, getting in her face. “Don’t act coy, Uli. You did something to me.”
“I made you better, Hook. Well, Mali made you better, I just told her what to do.” she giggled, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him back. “She was weighing you down. Like I told her, it’s for the best.”
“You don’t get to decide what’s the best for me!” Hook all but screamed. “I can’t even talk to her without her hating me more and more! You’re ruining people’s lives, Uliana. Whatever you did, you need to undo it.” Uliana scoffed, “I don’t understand what the big fuss is about. Need I remind you that you are a villain, Hook?”
He groaned, his hand running through his hair. “I know what I am! I know! She liked me for who I was. I… I loved her. But now that’s over, so thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” she replied, sitting down. “Now you can focus on bigger, better things.”
“You’re a monster.”
“I know, it’s my best quality.” she giggled. Hook bent down, gripping her shoulders. “Listen here, squid face. I don’t know what kind of spell you put on me, but I’m going to fix it. I’m going to fix it, and you’ll be sorry.”
“I’m going to fix it, and you’ll be sorry. Grow up! Get out, or you’ll be sorry.”
He rolled his eyes, standing up and making his way out. He needed to find you.
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“I’m totally done with him.”
You were with Bridget in her dorm, helping her test out her newest cupcake recipe. “I mean, I’m not going to let some boy ruin my life.” You shrugged, scooping up some batter to put in the cupcake tins. “That’s good. He doesn’t deserve you, you’re amazing.”
“What’re these cupcakes again?” you asked, staring at the bright pink frosting that Bridget was mixing up. “They’re my newest Fabulous Flamingo Feather cupcakes. The feathers are super rare, they’re magical.”
“Looks yummy.” You reached your hand over to dip your finger in the frosting bowl, earning a gentle smack from Bridget. “Not yet, Buttercup. Have some patience.” Groaning, you pulled your hand away. “You know I can’t resist your baking, B. You’re too good at it.”
She giggled, picking up the cupcake tray and bringing it over to her mini oven. “They’re going to be delicious.”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The two of you jumped, looking over at the door. Bridget put the cupcakes in the oven before going over to the door, opening it slightly to see who was outside. “Hook?” she asked. Your eyes widened at the mention of his name. Hook tried to look over Bridget’s head into her room. “Is y/n here? She wasn’t in her room.”
“I don’t think she wants to talk to you… at all.” Bridget went to shut the door but he pushed it all the way open, inviting himself inside. “I need to…” His thought trailed off when his eyes locked with yours. Bridget noticed, quietly observing him. “Hook, I don’t want you in my life anymore. You hurt me.”
He sighed, mentally trying to push away whatever was controlling him. You scoffed. “Cat got your tongue? I’m mad at you, James. I liked you so much, and you hurt me. Have a good day.” You grabbed his shoulders, turning him around and walking him out the door. After you shut the door, you turned to look at Bridget.
“Y/n, he’s spelled.” she said, walking over to her bookshelf. Your eyes could’ve burst from how wide open they were. “What? That’s crazy.” Bridget pulled a book off of her shelf, opening it up. “Hate spell. You said that Uliana was up to something. Well, this is it. She, or someone, spelled him.”
“Okay, so… how do we fix it?” You took the book from her, reading it carefully. “It doesn’t say.” Bridget mumbled. “Whoever cast the spell would know, but you’re not going to get that information out of them.” You groaned, throwing the book on her bed. “This sucks! He was being a complete jerk and it wasn’t even his fault! I feel awful.”
Bridget grabbed the book, putting it back on her shelf. “Don’t beat yourself up, you didn’t know. None of us knew. But it makes a lot of sense. The sudden attitude change, the way that he couldn’t even speak unless it was something negative.” You sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’ve gotta do something about this.”
“I thought you were, y’know, totally over him?” she asked, sitting beside you. “Well… not totally. I really liked him, my feelings weren’t gonna go away that easily. Unfortunately.” Bridget smiled, wrapping an arm around you. “Well, I guess we’ve got a spell to break.”
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It was around a week later, and you still hadn’t figured out how to break the spell. You spent countless nights staying up late and reading books to try to figure it out. The VKs certainly wouldn’t help you, so you were stuck trying to figure it out on your own. You and Bridget were sat at the Enchanted Lake, enjoying the beautiful sun on your day off from school.
“I’ve stayed up every single night the past week, and I’ve still got nothing. I mean, we can’t talk to Uliana.” you sighed, looking over at Bridget. “No one said that love was easy, Buttercup.” she responded. You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “I already told you that I do not love him. Especially right now.”
“I don’t think you’d be going through all of this work for someone you just like. It’s okay to love someone, love can be amazing. Like how I love you.” She pulled you into a hug, much to your dismay. “I don’t know if I love him. I haven’t seen the real him in quite some time. I don’t know if I’ll see the real him ever again…”
Bridget squeezed you tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, Bridget’s hugs did make you feel the tiniest bit better. She was one of, if not the best, big sisters. “We’re gonna figure this out, okay? It might take some time, but I’m gonna help you.”
“Thank you, B. I love you, more than you’ll ever know.”
She giggled, smoothing your hair with her hand. “I think I have a pretty good idea. But, I love you too, Buttercup. I’m glad that I got someone like you as my little sister.” You grinned, slowly pulling away from her. “Alright, now we’re getting too sappy.”
“You need to open up a bit more. Not that I don’t love you for who you are. But, you shut people out a lot. This is the perfect place to make friends, I want to see you surround yourself with people you love.” She pinched your cheek gently. You groaned, batting her hand away. “I have you and Ella. That’s good enough for me.”
“Y/n!” A voice called out from the distance.
You looked over, seeing Hook make his way over to the two of you. You groaned again, putting your head in your hands. “Oh god…” Hook stood in front of you, a smirk on his face. “What’s got you all bothered, darling?”
You hesitated before standing up. “I know what happened, Hook. I don’t know how, but I will fix it.” Hook wanted nothing more than to leap in your arms and kiss you, but his body only allowed him to scoff in response. Bridget watched the two of you, her heart breaking for you. It wasn’t easy seeing your little sister get her heart broken… repeatedly. She looked down at the water, not wanting to watch anymore.
All of the sudden, something clicked in Bridget’s head. The Enchanted Lake was, well, enchanted. Almost any spell could be washed away in the water. She quickly got up. “Y/n, push him in the water.” Hook glared at Bridget. “I’m sorry, I don’t think anyone was talking to you.” Bridget ignored him, focusing her attention on you. “The water is enchanted. Push him in.”
Your jaw dropped and you turned to face Hook. “Don’t you dare, lass.” he growled. Wrapping your arms around him, you let out a quick apology before pulling him into the water with you. The cold water but at your skin, reminding you much of the night of yours and Hook’s first date. When you rose to the surface you quickly looked around for the brunette boy. “James?”
He popped up behind you, brushing his sopping wet hair out of his face. You spun around, a pit of nerves bubbling in your stomach. Hook stared at you for a second, his face blank. “James…?” you mumbled.
“Oh my god, it’s you!” Hook wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into the tightest possible hug he could muster. “I missed you so much, I am so sorry.” You could’ve sobbed right then and there. Hugging him back, you buried your face in the crook of his neck.
“I feel absolutely awful.” He pulled away, holding onto your arms. “I don’t expect for you to take me back, but I will spend every single day proving to you that we’re meant to be. Uliana can take it or leave it, I’m not losing you again.” You nodded, your heart beating a million times a minute. “James… I love you.”
“I love you too. There’s not a single doubt in my mind that you’re the one for me, my princess.” He held your waist, leaning down and kissing you. You immediately kissed back, your hands trailing up to cup his cheeks.
“Eeek! This is so exciting!” Bridget squealed, watching from the rocks. You both pulled away, looking over at her. “Sorry, sorry!” she apologized, getting up. “I’ll, uh, I leave you the towels. Yay for love!” She folded up the towels before blowing you a kiss and running off.
Hook looked back at you, the grin that you missed so much plastered all over his face. “This’ll be an interesting story for the kids, huh?” You raised a brow, your hands toying with his wet hair. “Kids? You’re thinking a little far there, Hook.” He shrugged. “Maybe. Now, where were we?”
You rolled your eyes, pulling him into another kiss. All of your bad memories from the past week had faded away, being replaced with every single good memory you had of Hook. He wasn’t perfect, but he was yours, and that was all that you needed.
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“And that’s how me and your mama met.” Hook said, holding the tiny boy in his lap close. You walked into the room, putting your hands on your hips. “James, I told you to put him to bed almost half an hour ago. C’mon, Harry. It’s bed time.” The little boy crawled out of his dad’s lap, running over to you. “Come on, princess. I was just telling him a little bedtime story.”
You picked Harry up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You tell him that story almost every night, I’m surprised that he doesn’t have it memorized by now.” James got up with a groan, making his way over to you. “We just love you so much. Isn’t that right, my little pirate?” Harry giggled, making a hook shape with his finger. “Aarg!”
“Wow, you spend way too much time with your dad. Okay, say goodnight.” Harry looked over at James, blowing him a kiss. “Goodnight, papa!” James ruffled his hair before blowing him a kiss back. “Goodnight, H.”
When you came back from putting Harry to sleep, you found Hook sitting in your bed, looking through old photos; Castlecoming, your graduation, your wedding. You grinned, sitting down next to him. “Wow, we’ve gotten old, James. Good thing you’re still as handsome as ever.” He rolled his eyes playfully, his arm snaking around your waist. “I love you too, darling.”
“James, do you ever think about how different our lives would be if we didn’t break that spell?” you asked, looking up at him. He thought about it for a second before shaking his head. “No, I haven’t. I think that one way or another, we would’ve found each other again. Like I said all those years ago, we’re meant to be together.” You giggled, pressing a short kiss to his cheek. “You’re such a sap.”
“Maybe. I just love you a lot. Always have, always will.”
“Shut up, James… I love you, too.”
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a/n: AAAAAAND THATS THE END!! thank you so much for reading! aaah i had such a fun time writing this. they are probably my favs, i’m so sad to say goodbye to them.
taglist: @skellseerwriting @sleepyking @ljaylmaoo @lesbpotmurdocklokistan @yokolesbianism @eretsupremacy89 @descendantsramblings @thegoddessofnothingness @1luvkarina
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deoidesign · 18 days
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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rinbylin · 5 months
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top 5 dihua moments
HELLO ohhh goddd if i really really really have to pick... I'LL TRY (in tears)
in chronological order of the episodes:
(1) “你这个人最大的弱点就是喜欢当英雄。一个剑客不该有弱点。” your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses. (ep 1)
i'm as in love with the entire donghai scene as much as the next person but this dialogue is particularly special to me. so it was the first one i pinned down for this list. no hesitation. :)
it's a cornerstone of dihua's relationship; the thesis of lxy/llh's and their joint narrative. it prompts the deconstruction of the staple wuxia ideas of 侠 xia and heroism - which is what i really love lhl for. and dfs being the one to deliver this incredibly crucial and significant line is 10/10. he knew lxy even better than lxy did. he is the bearer and catalyst of lhl's story, lxy/llh's story.
"your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses." so what does it even mean to be a hero. is it more important to be a hero than being human. and i will become human. i am human and always have been. and i have weaknesses - i cannot win against fate, i am dying. but what ever is even wrong with being weak? being human is to have weaknesses. so i guess it's no wonder for the narrative to come in a full circle with dfs coming in possession of a weakness and be trapped in it. no longer the killer of di fortress. he's just a human being.
and llh bringing this up again in ep 11 feels to me that he had been carrying these words with him over the past 10 years. bicha and the battle have transformed him physically. but i like to think that dfs's words had an important role to play in an even deeper level of change.
all it took was this one scene to sell to me that this would probably be the kind of narrative i love.
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(2) reunion in the woods (ep 8)
it's just so fucking good like literally every dihua scene. who doesn't love a good post-divorce first meeting scene. there's just a lot to chew on. most of all, llh just had to keep reminding dfs how well he knew dfs. we know the moon has always been this bright, alright. AND they were threatening each other. very sexy of them.
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(3) whatever the heck was going between them in cailianzhuang arc (ep 11)
truly nothing brings out old married couple + parents vibes better than an inquisitive boy accusing you two of being up to something secretive behind his back. both their guilty expressions. :3 also dfs being the first person huahua goes to when he doesn't want to be alone. huahua being exceptionally chatty around dfs and dfs has no problem entertaining him. :3 they're totally on the same wavelength without having to say anything to each other and this arc brings it out so well.
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(4) 腊月二十七 donghai anniversary wedding night (ep 38)
this is the last one i came up for the list after fighting a whole war in my mind over which 5 of the 100000 beloved scenes to pick. hate being predictable but. you just HAVE to give it to it. how do you NOT pick this for a top 5. all the 10 million other top 5 dihua scenes just had to make space for the anniversary scene. :'(
if i had to be even more specific, i think the scene of them in bed most likely takes the cake for me. llh literally saved dfs's life and helped him to become the stronger person he has always wanted to be. and perhaps no other moment exhibits the complementary yin and yang nature of their powers/energies in a more illustrative and palpable way. undershirts in bed just hits different from being fully clothed and one person literally having to keep the other person alive by touch...and this time it's llh for dfs despite the whole time it's dfs who was dedicated to keep llh alive. they have no lack of scenes that exhibit how in sync they are intellectually, and this is peak physical intimacy and tenderness, added with a brush with death/mortality yeah...
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(5) llh/lxy's farewell to dfs (ep 40)
playing cheat here by combining two different moments :) but they are essentially connected. llh/lxy had to leave. and since it really had to be that way, i'm glad dfs was on his mind until the very end. what more can one ask for. there is really nothing more dear and tender in the world to be thought of
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tl;dr: /blows kisses to every dihua moment
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dapper-nahrwhale · 2 months
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[ID digital drawing of redesigns of the VKs from Disney descendants, years Evie, Mal, Jay, and Carlos. Evie has the front of her hair braided back with a little crown, a white princess shirt, and a blue cape with gold and red details and a high collar. She has a blue skirt with a heart belt and red panels stitched on the sides and a ruffle white skirt under. She has black tights, white ruffle socks, and red Mary Jane heels, and red and blue fingerless gloves. Above her is the symbol of a heart shaped mirror with a crown on top of it.
Mal has big horns, pointed ears with many piercings, messy purple and green hair, and is holding a knife. She is wearing a fishnet shirt with a purple crop top and a ripped jacket. She has low rise very wide leg pants with green flames on the end, and big spiky boots. She has mismatched gloves and a couple belts. Her symbol is a broken heart with horns and wings and is on fire.
Jay has an orange beanie and a ripped vest with a belt across it. He has cargo pants and tall sneakers, a few belts and fingerless gloves. His symbol above him is an orange toothy cobra snake coiled up.
Carlos has stripy black and white hair and goggles and glasses. He wears a stripy shirt and has a fluffy collar coat that's patchwork of black and white polka dots, and patchwork shorts and mismatched loafers. His symbol is a black and white crossbones. End ID]
👑😈🐍☠️
This from like... May? I think? It got lost in the 1k of my drafts (a lot I know) But I was thinking about redesigning them yet again! so expect that at some point too lmao.
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kuni-kuun · 7 months
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I just tried to find your account by searching kunikidazai. If that doesn’t say everything about how strong of a hold you art has on me idk what does
LMFAOO its been so long since i posted though... im surprised my art is even still on the tags 😭😭 but thsnk u so muv .. i luv u guys...
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hella1975 · 11 months
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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puppyeared · 11 months
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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luck-of-the-drawings · 4 months
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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donaviolet · 2 months
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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nomairuins · 23 days
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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thecedarchronicle · 2 months
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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genekies · 3 months
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#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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