#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[thecedarchronicle]

.

[toastsnaffler]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[cascaria]

writing is so fun !! why does it suck ass n balls

[toontowncreepypasta]

i feel like my creativity is coming back i really do

[astrolynnworld]

release

pairing: dom!matt x reader

summary: you were on vacation celebrating a friends birthday while matt had to sit home slowly gaining more frustration at the horniness that overwhelmed him.

warnings: smut, pent up, language, oral, missing you, lust, a few uses of the word daddy, sex, breeding, rough, praise, soft degradation?, love bombs at the end for sure

a/n: the dom matt yall requested 🫡

word count: 1,289

matt’s pov-

I knew these three weeks without y/n would be a challenge, but I never expected it to be this hard.

y/n comes back today, and I am so excited excited to say the least.

i haven’t cum in 3 weeks.. and not all of that was by choice.

I’ve tried to touch myself on multiple occasions, but I just could never finish. It didn’t feel right.

i needed y/n. as bad as ever

but she comes back today and all of that is over.

y/n’s pov-

I grabbed my bags out of my friends car and waved goodbye as I walk up the driveway of my house.

i’m so excited to see matt. of course we video chatted a few times these past few weeks, but nothing is like seeing him in person. I miss him so much.

“matt?” i call out as i enter our home

he comes sprinting down the hallway

“BABY!!” he shouts as he gives me a million kisses and a tight hug.

“i missed you so so so so much” he says in between kisses

“okay okay” i say while laughing and pushing him off me

“i missed you too baby but i need to settle in first” i continue

“you can settle in later princess, i need you now!” he exclaims as he grabs me and tosses me over my shoulder

“matt!! what are you doing!” i say while kicking my feet trying to get him to let me go

he walks me to the bedroom and tosses me on the bed.

“you think you could leave me here alone for three weeks without any repercussions?” he states

i stay silent as i try to maintain eye contact with him as he hovers over me on the bed.

“do you know how hard it’s been not having you here at complete access?” he continues

i maintain my quietness, slowly getting turned on by his demand and neediness for me.

“when I said I missed you, I wasnu’t joking. I miss everything about you. how you look, how you smell, how you feel, how you taste.” he says slowly as he undoes my pants

“i needed you so badly.. and now I’m going to have you just the way i want you, is that okay princess?” he asks me, yet it doesn’t seem like much of an option

i slowly nod my head

“good. now get up” he demands

i sit up at the edge of the bed

“take off my pants.” he furthers

i slide him out his pants and slowly start kissing and rubbing his bulge throw his boxers.

“awe you’re such a smart puppy aren’t you? know exactly what daddy wants huh” he says in a condescending tone

he pushes my head back and lets out his cock.

his dick looked so swollen and neglected, it was already throbbing and leaking precum from only my previous teasing. i had to do something about this

I grabbed the shaft and slowly put my tongue on the tip, teasing the head.

matt threw his head back in a sigh of relief at the sensation that my mouth had only just started giving him.

I keep circling my tongue around the tip and jerking off the shaft until a dominant matthew grabs my head and pushes his cock inside my mouth

in one swift motion, I can feel his throbbing cock buried in my throat. pulsating as he pulls back and thrusts deeper each time with more lust.

I can’t help the tears that starts to flow out my eyes as I find it hard to breathe, but the only thing that kept me going, was knowing the satisfaction that matthew was having.

“fuck y/n fuck fuck fuck” he says as he keeps a steady pace

thrust after thrust after thrust, matt is relentless.

“im gonna cum baby.” he states before picking up the speed

soon after, i feel lines of thick liquid, spilling down my throat as matt releases his grip from my head and pulls his cock back.

I let out a few coughs and exasperated gasps as I try to catch my breath.

matt bends down to me, “are you okay baby?” he says with his voice laced in concern.

i chuckle at the code switch, “i just hope you planning of fucking me as as good as you just fucked my throat”

he smiles, “get on your stomach and arch your back now.” he demands

i climb on the bed and do what he says.

he slides my panties off, “look at this pretty wet pussy baby? you’re so fucking wet and beautiful”

he slaps my ass.

“is this what i’ve been missing out on these past few weeks? fuck” he furthers

bending down, matt sticks his tongue out and starts licking my pussy up and down all the way to my ass crack.

“and you taste even better than i remember.”

he starts eating at my clit while fingering me from the back.

I can’t help the noises that escape my lips I had it felt sensation in three weeks and the lust was only making him feel better.

“you sound so pretty baby, keep moaning for me just like that.” matt says before stopping this stimulation

“i need to fuck you right now before i cum again.”

he positions his cock with my hole before slowly sliding it.

I gasp at the feeling of his long cock sliding inside of me

He didn’t give me too long to adjust to his size before he starts the thrusting and deepening inside of me.

“fuck matt- omg” i say in between breaths, as the sounds of our body parts slapping together echos the room.

“mhm baby how does that feel?” he asks knowing the answer

“you feel so f- fucking good sir. s- so big and deep” i try to make a sentence while being a whimpering mess

“you missed this cock didn’t you?”

“yess daddy. of cour- course i did” i reply

calling him daddy must of set off a switch inside of him because boy did he start speeding up

i couldn’t even speak anymore. i was just making whiny moans and sounds that probably could be heard throughout the whole house.

“fu- fuck daddy please please pl- please keep going. i’m g- gonna cum.”

“cum at the same time as me baby” he says while pushing my head down into the bed and slamming his cock into me even deeper and faster as he chases his high once more.

he starts circling my clit with the hand that wasn’t holding me down into the bed and that’s when i lost every thought i had in the moment.

my orgasm comes tumbling out along with a familiar sensation of pee

“you just fucking squirted on my dick baby. you’re so fucking hot.” he says while slowing down his thrusts, trying to ride out both our highs

he lets go of my head and pulls out of me to idealize his work.

i topple over and squeeze my body to let his cum fall out of me.

he goes in the bathroom to get a wet cloth to clean us up. then comes to join me in bed

“fuck i genuinely missed you so much baby” he says kissing my forehead as he smuggles me into his chest

“don’t ever leave me alone for that long again”

i chuckle still trying to catch my breath & recover from the scene that just happened a minute ago

“i love you, sweetheart” he says as he starts playing with my hair

“i love you more bubs” i respond before closing my eyes in the comfort of his chest

——————————————————————-

a/n: how’d you guys like the story? two in one day 😝 i’m on a roll fr!

[xhanelia]

Hi, I hope you’ve been having a good day! Can I please request a Sova that goes absolutely feral when you pull on his hair during sex... like he's a whole new man when you do that. The thought has been invading my brain and it won't leave hdjwkkdkd

-Sova lover anon

Ngl at all i be giggling and kicking my feet even thinking about this 👉👈 Thanks so much for waiting for me and i hope i do not dissapoint. Love uuuu <333

<<<Reader is she/her. MDNI.>>>

Im lost with words iykyk with Sova (nsfw)

It always starts slow and affectionate with Sova. We know him. He knows himself too. He knows that he is a little bit of an overgrown man (190ish cm long like holly shit boy what did your babushka feed you?) and he doesnt want to overwhelm you with himself.

But if you press his buttons, yeah, he switches a bit fast.

When he gets the 'fuck me hard' signal from you he doesnt care. You are under him now.

For him, its his hair getting pulled by you. Its like a wordless signal between both of you. Does the job perfectly so why need to ask for it, right?

The second you grab a handfull of his beautiful long blonde hair and pull it, he growls from the very deep of his throat. His body lovering over you for you to feel his weight on you more. Mhm. He got what you want for sure.

"You want to do it my way, darling?" The russian accent with the word 'darling' sounds deep near your ear. You know our giant bear. He gotta make sure even if he is too much over to control himself.

His moves are much over and about controlling you and your body. He is playing with your buttons too but mostly like a 'dim red light sex at midnight' kinda sex iykwim. He is rough but not ROUGH rough. Just the perfect amount to make you squirm under his body.

He can overpower you so easily he cannot lie that this doesnt turn him on. Pulling you in, stretching your legs, lifting you up and everything. And the sounds you make for him while he does these things? He could listen to you all night long. (Thats totaly not the reason he likes long sessions with you.)

This man has the highest stamina in the protocole if it wasnt for kay/o. He climbs up an down on snow for a daily basis. He is not letting you go anywhere if you dont use the safe word and make him stop yourself. If you know how to tire him then its another story.

You swear the first time you two get close like this, you thought that he had no experience whatsoever but now you realize you are so damn wrong. He may not look like he has experience but its all because he wants to make you feel alright and safe in his hands. But if you want to give the control all into his hands, then he will gladly take it from yours.

Kisses, hickeys, bite marks all over your body. Did i mention he has no shame? I guess i did on another one of my posts. I will say it again. He has no shame. He will look proud if anyone notices the hickeys he left over you. They gotta know that he knows how to do his job.

If you were to ask him about how he likes being in charge, he will laugh and just say a simple "yes, i do". Maybe his cheeks will get a little red but not because of embarrassment, its because of he lies how much more he likes it. This man LIVES for these moments.

(I wish i had a Sova for myself 😔)

[spikedhe4rt]

can you please do a johnny smut with the reader giving johnny a hj and they keep edging him and he's really whiny and whimpers a lot? sorry if this is too specific! thank you

Sub!Johnny x Reader Smut

Word Count: 1221

I climbed on top on Johnny, situating myself. I kiss him, enveloping his soft and plump lips. He placed his hands tightly on my hips. "Fuck!" Johnny whimpered. I let out a giggle at his desperation. "Such a pathetic baby." I ran a teasing hand down his chest, my hand slipping under his shirt. He moaned as he felt my warm on his belly. "Please, take it off!" he squeaked out.

I smiled down at him, ready to give him a order. "Sit up. Now" He immediately sat up and followed my directions. I pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his chest that was already covered in hickeys from yesterday. "Stand up for me!" He lifted himself from the bed slowly. "I love you so much, Johnny. You know that, right?"

He nodded with a whimper. I leaned into his warm body to kiss him deeply. My hands slit down to the button on his jeans, unfastening them quickly. Johnny groaned into the kiss, and brought a hand to my breasts. I pushed Johnny away from the kiss. "Take it off for me" He kicked his pants and underwear quickly, revealing his hard cock.

Johnny's cock was releasing beads of pre-cum by the second and rock hard. His cock was pulsing with need and reddish at the tip. It was begging for release and stimulation. He didn't know what was to come. Johnny the sat down on the bed, watching me as I was about to strip for him.

My hands slowly went down to the bottom of my tank top, lifting it teasingly over my head. My pink lacey bra with a pink bow in the middle to match was on display for him. Only for him. His dick twitched as he waited for me to lose my shorts next. "You're so pretty" he said to me. I smiled at him before pulling down my shorts, stepping out of them after.

I walked over to the bed and straddled Johnny, my clothed pussy rubbing against his naked cock slightly. I scooted back a little, adding more space between us. My lips found there way to his neck, peppering kisses on his neck. I bit down on the sensitive part on his neck then soothing it with my warm tongue. "Fuck. More!" he panted out.

I can already see the hickeys forming on his neck as he begged. I put my hand around his neck, pulling him towards me for a kiss. Our lips pushed together roughly. Johnnys tongue slipped into my mouth deepening the kiss. Fuck. I pulled away from him once again, eliciting a groan from him.

"Baby, please do something. Anything!" Johnny cried out. I nodded at him before grabbing his face, squishing his cheeks till his lips opened involuntarily. My other hand came up under his mouth, "Spit." I told him as I let his face go. Johnny leaned his head forward, his silky hair brushing his face to spit in my hand. My hand trailed down to his desperate cock.

The spit from my hand coated his cock that was already slightly wet from his precum. "Fuck. Feels so good, doll." I started to slowly stroke his dick at a slow, grueling pace. Johnny moaned loudly, his hips bucking up slightly into my hand. I placed a hand on his chest as I continued. "You look so handsome like this, Johnny." I whispered to him. He leaned into me, scanning over my features. "T-thank you"

The pace of my strokes picked up, making johnny cry out. "Please!" He breathed as he felt the change. I kept up my pace as he voice became more and more whiney and breathless. I knew that he would cum soon. I started to use both my hands to stroke his cock. One of my hands eventually came to add pressure to his leaky tip.

"Fuck! Im gonna cum. Please let me cum." I smirked at him, shaking my head. "No. Hold it for me!" He whimpered on what seemed like the verge of tears. "Oh fuck!" Johnny voice was raspy and soft as he begged for a release. I continued my work on his hard cock. "You sound so pretty, Johnny."

I could feel his overstimulated cock throb in my hold as I kept stroking. Sayings of " You like that don't you?" and "Not yet, baby." radiated as his "Feels so good." and "I wanna cum." filled the room. I brought a hand up to his mouth for more spit. He immediately filled my request, groaning as my hand returned to his cock. "Im getting close again! please!" I removed my hands completely from him completely. "You have to wait, baby."

He nodded, overstimulated, "Please give me your hands again!" I gave exactly what he needed. My left hand trailed down to his aching cock as my other went to his balls. I rubbed the velvety skin, increasing to his pleasure. Tears pricked his eyes as he knew he was getting edged for a third time. "Baby can I cum, please?" I shook my head with a smirk.

His whole face was tucked into my neck, tear streaming down. "Can I have kiss? Please!" I brought his head up and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips. Johnny put one of his hands on my hip and one on my throbbing clit. I got really worked up watching him beg. He began to rub slowly as I continued to stroke his overstimulated cock. "Fuck. You're such a good boy!"

My strokes began to get faster as I felt my own high building up. "Feels so good. Can I cum?" I started to kiss his neck before replying "Make me cum then I'll let you" Once Johnny heard my words, his fingers began to work faster. "You make me feel so good, Johnny. Shit!" My high was so close, about to tip over the edge. Johnny gave my puffy clit one last circle before my eye rolled back and I came all over his fingers.

"Oh fuck!" I cried out. I kissed Johnny, my tongue slipping into his mouth once again. I pulled away about to let him have his release. "Cum for me, Johnny." I told him with a nod, lip between my teeth. Johnny let out a loud moan before cumming hard on my hand. I brought my cum covered hand to my mouth, running my tongue over his release. After that, I brought him in for another kiss, making him taste himself slightly.

"Thank you, baby." he said as we began to lay down together. I looked at him in his eyes, lovingly, "I love you, Johnny." He kissed me softly "I love you more."

————————————————————————

A/N: Hi guys!! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. My requests are always open!! I have a request chapter on this book and my dms are opens. I love you guys!!! <3

[thisisntmattsturniolo]

bff!matt x reader 💖 not proofread, this is dookie

it was 6:30 pm, i was just getting home from my work shift at the coffee shop. i kicked my shoes and apron off, heading towards my desk, “i seriously need to get this shit done” i stared down at my homework.

i was 20 minutes into my session, but was interrupted by a phone call. it was matt, “yes?” i was greeted by the sounds of heavy panting and a set of eyes. “matthew, are u serious.” i grew annoyed because why did i answer. “hi baby fuck i just really miss you right now.” he spoke with a few voice cracks here and there, “can you come over? please..”

i should just hang up and leave him to do it, but part of me just wants to help him. maybe just sit there and watch him jerk off, i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t thinking about him all day and theres a little hurricane in my pants. “im on my way matt.”

this wasnt new, me and matt decided to be friends with benefits after this one night where we got blackout drunk and high out of our minds and somehow ended up alone together.

i pulled into his drive way, walking inside the house. he unfortunately left the front door unlocked, i was outside door of his room and all i could hear was his faint, little whimpers.

“matt” i introduced myself as i walked into his room. his pants were tugged down his thighs and his shirt was somewhere discarded as he sat against the head board in the dim room. “so you really called me over for this?” i spoke, sitting myself down on the bed beside him.

he stared at me in awe as his hand went up and down his shaft. his mouth agape, his eyes hooded and red. “please, touch me.” he whispered loud enough to where i could hear him. i shuffled on top of his lap, removing his hands from his aching cock, replacing them with my own. his head fell back against the board and his mouth widened more as whimpers and moans left his throat.

his touch lingered my body as his hands crept up my shirt. his hands cupping my tits, squeezing them softly. he pulled me in for a kiss, his hands cupping my face before sliding down to my waist.

his cock began to twitch in my hand, signaling he was close.“oh my god, fuck, god baby you make me feel s’good..” his brain was mush, he didnt even know what he was talking about. “yeah? you like when i touch you this?” i spoke in a low tone, kissing his neck and further down.

“poor boy couldn’t get off himself, couldnt he?” i cooed in his ear, my other hand lightly scratching his chest. “im so close, p-please.. let me.” he began to hiccup and whine, his thighs were tensing up beneath me. my hand movements began to speed up after hearing him beg, my thumb sliding over his angry, red tip rapidly.

his knuckles started to turn white because of how hard he was gripping on the sheets. “n-need you in me, i can’t take it.” he spoke as he began to move my shorts to the side. he wasted no time plunging into me, his nails leaving crecent shapes on my waist. he was moving at an animalistic paste, repeatedly hitting my g-spot. “m-matt..” i whined “shh..sh, s’okay fuck s’okay.” he mumbled into my neck, leaving sloppy kisses and some hickes here and there.

i felt the knot im my stomach about to snap, “oh my.. f-fuck matt.. r-right there..” i moan, my back is arched to the point it hurts, i have mascara running down my face. this whole thing was supposed to be fast and quick, but here i am getting fucked by my best friend. again.

the knot in my stomach quickly snapped, my legs tensed as my orgasm was washing over me. matt’s thrusts were getting slower, “where do y’want me baby..” “ins-side me..” i hiccuped. he shot his load in me after hearing those words, slowly pulling out then pushing it back inside me.

“matt i hate you.”

@chrisslutttygf @chrissidewhore @chrishotsexygf @cottoncandyswisherz @chaossturns @rlchrisfeinn

[billsbabydoll]

“𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒻𝒾𝓍𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ, 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝓇ℴ𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓌ℴ𝓇𝓁𝒹.”

contains:HARSH ANGST+SMUT<3

summary:finally getting sick of bills toxicity and instability, i packed up all of my belongings and planned to “leave him” as i stupidly told myself, only to find myself easily falling back into his same hypnotizing trap.

WARNINGS:abusive relationship, fighting, arguing, manipulation (I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS in this story, this story is ONLY for entertainment purposes!!!), very narcissistic and misogynistic bill, hard-dom!bill, dumb-sub!reader, p in v (against the wall), degrading, pet-names, LIGHT choking, heavy breeding kink.

notes:as someone who has experienced theses types of situations firsthand, if you ever do find yourself in these kinds of circumstances please take the initial steps to get yourself out that relationship immediately, youll be fine i promise love ya!

HEAVY THEMES AHEAD!

“yeah go fucking cry about it you sensitive bitch, get the fuck outta’ my face!”bill loudly shouted at me from the living room as i ran and locked myself into our shared bedroom, tears streaming profusely down my cheeks, as i tumbled onto the bed and proceeded to curl myself up into a small pathetic ball.

im tired of living like this, being so isolated, feeling so trapped, being so mentally and physically drained, having to constantly walk around eggshells around him.

me and bills relationship was a perfect fairytale in the beginning, but quickly came burning down in flames and burnt down to pure ashes at his rage.his anger completely undoing every single precious thing he ever once said to me.

every “i love you.” or “i cant wait to start a life with you.” was once a simple loving string of words now being dangled high above over my head as a reminder of his broken promises.

i still cling onto that small glimmer of hope that he could change some-day, that he could love me again, or that he could simply hold me without hurting me.

i lay in my own pity for a long grueling hour before i decide to slowly unraveled myself from my position, gently getting up from the bed, wiping the tears from my eyes telling myself,

“i need to leave,

right now.”

i kick into full panic mode and immediately start changing into a dark colored tracksuit and a comfortable pair of sneakers, then i rummage through our closet grabbing random handfuls of my belongings stuffing my suitcase to the brim.

i quietly creak the bedroom door open and make my way through the dark hallway, my luggage in one hand as i try to rush towards the front door.

“going somewhere babe?”he eerily questioned, his evil presence immediately sending cold chills down my spine.

“i-i-uhm..”i mumbled trying to find some kind of explanation but it was if something was struck in my throat, i looked like a child who just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

“im leaving!”i managed to spit out, slowly turning to face him.

“oh your leaving?”he responded in a cartoonish voice mocking my own,chuckling manically at my response.

he crosses his arms over his chest as he cockily looks me up and down, he then quickly steps forward grabbing me by my chin with his right hand, yanking a fistful of my hair with his left.

“cant you see THIS is the life i promised you honey?you know no-ones ever gonna buy you all those pretty dresses you like wearing f’me, provide for you like i do, or keep a GODDAMN roof over your head like i do!”

what he was saying was true, without him i wouldnt have a single penny to my name. he took care of every expense, he even had me on a monthly allowance but he didnt do anything of it out of the goodness of his heart he rather used it to his advantage knowing hed always win.

“i know i know but, i-im tired of you being like this bill, im sick of it!i swear ill give it all back if thats what you really want!”i nervously murmured, his grip on my chin and hair tightening.

“your such an ungrateful brat, you dont even deserve to be breathing the same air as me, i shouldve just throw you out months ago like the trashy bitch you are.”

he yelled into my face before slamming me against the wall letting go of some of his grip on me as he pulled down his pants and boxers along with my sweatpants and panties.

“you wanna be treated like a worthless whore ill fucking treat you like one then.“

he wrapped one of his arms strongly around my neck keeping me in place, as he teased his cock in between my slicks folds, causing me to softly whimper.

“aww…look at you poor baby, you just wanted some attention huh, want me to fuck you isnt that right?”he purred squeezing my neck firmly in his arm, sliding his length harshyinside my walls.

though i hated to admit it, it truly turned me on how possessive and upset he got when i tried leaving it showed me he still sort-of cared.the fact he still had enough respect to still fuck me was enough to have me eating right out of his palm, anytime he showed me the slightest bit of affection it casted his spell over me all over again.

he continued thrusting his full length inside my cunt, beginning to aggressively pound away, my head banging against the cold wall.

“ugh-i shouldnt even be mmhtouching you right now ungrateful bitch!”he shouted, his free hand slapping my ass sure enough to leave hand prints the next morning.

“f-fuck fuck, im ughh-yours baby!”i moaned out, tears beginning to spill from my eyes, his tip kissing my cervix perfectly.

“das ist r-richtig, mhm!du gehst verdammt noch mal nirgendwo hin(thats right, your not going fucking anywhere),

gonna fill you all up, hopefully y-you get pregnant that way your ugh-stuck with me!”

the sound of our moans combined with the banging on the wall echoing throughout the house, the faint tv not even being enough to cover his disgusting insults and my foul cries.

“b-bill ugh please i c-cant!”

“take my f-fucking cock mm-my little cum slut!”

his hips bucking into mine at an animalistic pace as he urgently chases his release, my walls deliciously clenching around his girth, sending him immediately over the edge.

“scheibe scheibe scheibe(shit shit shit!)”he yelled out suddenly fucking his cock deeper inside my sweet walls, ropes of his seed oozing deep inside my pussy.

“ich w-werde ganz in dir abspritzen du mmh-dumme s-schlampe, ich werde dich mit meinem verdammten baby schwängern(im gonna cum all inside you, stupid slut, im gonna get you pregnant with my baby!)”he adds breeding his cum inside me with a few final thrusts, pulling his length out of me with a loud pop.

bill then releases me from his arm allowing me to slam down onto the floor, pulling his pants up smugly as he knelt down to my level.

“next time im beating the fuck outta’ this was me playing nice, understood? now go make me some dinner before you piss me off again.”

i nod my head instantly at his demands, rubbing the side of my cheek that hit the ground.

“such a good little girl, i love you.” he praised grinning widely down at me before getting back up and walking away from me.

“i love you too.”

and the cycle continues.

THE END.

[erial-c]

WEDDING AUDIO BAYBEY‼️

ohh bare with me this live reacting was all over the place

UGGHH SAPPY DAVID IS SO CUTE  . i may not be the biggest shaw pack fan but his character development will never cease to kill me

asher panicking 😭😭 AND CALMING HIMSELF DOWN because he didn't realize today was the day

baaabe being dressed already?? that's ao fucking funny they fr just let ash sleep (also a little bit of personaloty for baaabe  . the crowd cheers)

asher please your mate is already dressed  . dear god

i love that darlin out of all people wanted to make it so that the mates won't see each other until the ceremony . i know it's mostly because they wanted to drive the listener groups aka the "fun group" as they call it (listeners are bffies CANON!!!) but it's much funnier to think they hold onto that tradition for some reason 

"we're fun too, right?  ...right???" yeah asher whatever you say🤞

YEAASSSS SPEAKER BANTER I LOVE THIS SHIT SAOW MUCJ

"i don't even want to imagine what chaos those four are getting up to" THW SILENCE IN THE CAR???? erik was giggling and kicking his feet putting this in the script huhhuh

darlin being the one to make sure neither of the mates are peeking LMAO  . and sam calling them beautiful too. kill me actually

milo calling out asher's hair "are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?????? david don't let him walk out like that!!!!!!" further proving the headcanon that milo is the most well dressed of the shaw pack 

milo's nervous as shit  😭😭 i forgot he was gonna be the fucking officiant bro id be sweating fucking bullets too

"just maybe.. cuss a little less" great advice to tell milo out of all people  , sam

serious talk with the alpha and beta .. shivers

"why did you pick me?" asher  . asher  please.

"take the chance of saying something that's not perfect, if it means you get to really say what you feel" crazy  . i love angel (they are a listener character)) (they have no voice)) 

"you're the other side of my coin. you always have been" DAVID  . DAAAVIDDDD.

its good to see that david understands that while he know he made the right choice, he still understands the heavy responsibility he put on ash in assigning him to be pack beta

"you're too hard on yourself too" "well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" KILL ME. stop being cute you loser

big three shaw pack hug  . ill kill myself

"i'm going to be up there lookin this good, people are gonna be confused on whose day it is!" "are they gonna be able to see you? do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" MILO DON'T LISTEN 2 THEM MY SHORT KING🤞🤞🤞 also beta boy😭😭😭😭😭

the effortless switch from banter to being all sentimental and emotional is crazy  . i hate these guys (lie)

RAAAAGHHH CEREMONY💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ YEAAASSSSS

yaknow while i did expect a few side characters/guest VAs to voice side characters , i don't think the audio feels that empty . it's just focused on the main characters and honestly im actually ok with it

not the laugh track😭feels like im watching a sitcom this is so funny

im assuming all the guests are empowered/informed  , because milo is calling the couples "mates"

YEAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE VOWS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ HERECOME THE WATERWORKS (mine and theirs🤞🤞)

girl nevamind the silence for baaabe's/angelangel's vows r still so silly

"the- the pairs of you. to each other. not all together. uh- congratulations  . uh- clap, everybody. now" no actually we're a polycule neow . canon because i said so

[satorubrain]

"wasn't a random text"

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader.

Tags: NSFW. MDNI !!!!!!! Sub!Satoru, a little voyeurism if you squint hard enough, overstimulation, blowjob, handjob, spit, edging, orgasm denial, degradation, slight dumbification, unprotected sex, creampie.

Synopsis: Satoru is bored at home so he sends you a nude while you're in a meeting with the higher ups.

A/N: This is my first time writing smut so💀 AND IM SORRY ITS SO FUCKING LONG I DIDNT THINK I'D WRITE SO MUCH🥹🥹

[ THE LOML WIFEY | 3:34 P.M ]

In a meeting love, please dont spam random texts <3

Satoru sighs looking at your text. He knows you're not coming for another two hours or so. It was one of his rare rest days which you fought for but he'd, at this point, rather be in that goddamned meeting you were in with the higherups if it meant even seeing you.

Instead of going to the meeting, what if the meeting was cutshort and you came home earlier?

Gojo Satoru, is simply incapable of thinking of any good or even coherent ideas. His best idea was to- pull his pants down, adjusting himself on the couch and spread his legs apart before he could start palming himself, getting harder to the thoughts and photos of you writhing underneath him, thinking about how you chanted his name, begging him. God. He needed you. Needed to drink up your juices. Needed to feel your velvety walls squeezing him dry.

He needed a release but him fucking into his fist was not satisfactory at all, he had been failing to reach his high for past twenty minutes, he couldn't wait any longer. Scrambling around to find his phone before setting up the phone on the coffee table to click a pic and send it to you.

[ White Haired Freak | 4:03 P.M ]

[ ATTACHMENT 1 ]

It didn't help that the one presenting right now was you. The notification showed the image of Satoru fucking into his fist, precum rolling down his length down over his fingers, head thrown back with his mouth slightly agape as sweat dripped down his toned porcelain skin.

The room fell silent at the image received from the strongest man, the silence only being broken by another ding caused by Satoru's next message.

[ White Haired Freak | 4:04 P.M ]

Please. Need you so bad

"SHAMELESS BRAT." screeched a few older higher ups as you quickly disconnected before stuffing your belongings in your bag. "Indeed shameless" you muttered but it silenced the room anyways, your face burning in embarrassment as you stomped out, pinching the bridge of your nose.

You acted well enough frustrated, enough for them to empathize with you but little did they know how you smirked the moment you stepped out of the room. Oh you definitely got a kick out of it.

Speeding to your home, you thankfully didn't encounter any traffic. Rushing to your floor before trying to open the door- just to find it unlocked, pushing it open. Witnessing Satoru looking so disheveled just for you, his chest heaving as he looked tired from the failed attempts at a release.

"Filthy. And desperate- almost like a slut" You couldn't help but taunt him and degrade him as you close the door behind you. You held back a smirk at his soft choking on his words with his eyes wide blown. "Don't move" you commanded before fetching yourself a glass of water and finding a purchase on the coffee table in front of him- all while Satoru obediently listened to you.

"Say Satoru, what is it that you need so badly" you whisper, pressing your finger against his already sensitive tip before tracing down his undervein, earning a hitching gasp from him.

"You" he utters, his voice deep and bewitching.

"And why should I give you myself?" you chuckle at the sight of Satoru's eyes pleading you looking at you with disbelief "w-why not?"

"Because you're so out of hand Satoru. So, you're not allowed to touch me today but I'll reward you if you behave like a good boy till the end, hm?" you console him as he chokes out a "y-yes".

Cupping his cheek with one hand before kissing him while the other hand wraps its fingers around the base of his dick, slowly stroking it while giving a gentle twist near the tip, using his precum as lube. His fingers dug into the couch trying to hold himself back from latching onto you as his moans were muffled by your kiss. And within minutes he's whimpering at your mere touch. You're too good he thinks and if this goes on he'll finally get to find his release.

"c-close. 'm close" Satoru breathes "please... fa-ster...love" he whimpers as his hips jerk into your hand in search of a release, forehead resting against yours as he glances through, his heavy eyelids, at your hand doing the work. He was mere seconds away when you unwrap your hand from his dick, resting his back against the couch softly causing him to look at you dumbfounded as the twitching of his body slows down.

"Babe you're getting too agitated. Calm down a bit." You coo, petting his head before giving a gentle peck on his forehead "I'm still fully clothed, help me undress, hm?" you rather order and he gladly obliges.

"Y-yes ma'am" he sighs, quickly stripping you of your external clothes. His fingers linger a few seconds longer on your soft skin as he takes off your bra, licking his lips at the sight of your bare boobs. Biting his lip as his fingers trail down your waist, hooking his fingers into your black laced underwear before pulling them down, gulping thickly to prevent drooling at the view of your slick sticking to your lingerie. His trembling fingers scarcely dig into your skin, his self-restraint hanging on its last thread.

"Please... May I?" he asks politely, his frenzied eyes staring at the tantalizing sight in front of him, slowly leaning forward craving a taste of you on his tongue, wanting to drink down everything your pussy desires to give, almost forgetting his painfully throbbing pressed against his abdomen.

"No. You speak too much Satoru and your hands have no control. Disobedient boys don't deserve pleasure." you sigh, removing his hands, causing him to look at you with such a pained expression, you almost give in to his desires. Before he could voice out his defenses through his slackened jaw, you quickly shove your lingerie in his mouth, somewhat gagging him. His eyes roll to the back of his head the moment your slick mixes with his saliva, eagerly gulping down the taste of you eliciting muffled moans from his throat.

"No touching me or speaking, okay? If you want me to stop, tap my shoulder three times." you softly inform him, establishing a safe action if the need ever comes, to which he gives you a confused tilt of the head followed by an assuring nod.

Placing your lips against his jaw, leaving a trail of wet open-mouthed kisses down his neck before latching onto his sensitive pulse point marking him yours. His gagged moans and grunts, his trembling body only encouraging you to mark him even more. The way he controlled himself by harshly gripping the cushion when you sucked on one of his nipples had your pussy leaking and clenching around nothing.

"Satoru, don't cum until I say so" you instruct making him huff breathlessly as you nestle between his legs before taking hold of his dick and pressing your tongue against the base of it, lapping up his precum before you suck on his swollen tip. Hollowing your cheeks before you take his dick in your pretty little mouth while maintaining eye contact with him gains you a primal guttural moan and you almost might've come untouched.

He is irresistible, you think. You touch yourself, pleasing yourself to his moans as you bob your head on his cock. Playing a cruel game with him- allowing yourself to chase after your high while you deprive him of his multiple times. You're enjoying his suffering far too much. He looks like hes about to break and he perhaps might. Your jaw soon locks after multiple denials, causing your torture to come to a cessation. For a moment you wonder if this is how he feels when he's so lost between your legs because right now you feel the same.

You had denied him of perhaps- sixth? Seventh? Orgasm now and at this point he doesn't know what to expect when he sees you get up and straddle him. Clicking a few photos of his fucked out state before wiping away his few astray teardrops and his drool.

"Please let me come" he begged, probably but nothing could be understood through his muffled "mpffs". You chuckled at his sight yet he still smiled at your sweet sound. You were too evil to your sweet boy.

His senses are too heightened, he almost feels like a virgin all over again. His dick pulses intensely when you align yourself against him. He thinks he might come too quickly when he's inside of you. His warns come off as nothing more than muffled grunts.

You slide down on him too easily, surprising the both of you but lord the way you wrap and clench around him is too perfect, your soft cushiony walls send him over the mood- and the coil in his core breaks- unwillingly. Nails digging into the cushion, tearing holes in them as he tries to not orgasm so quickly after entering you but his body is writhing uncontrollably underneath you, choking out his loud moans with his head thrown back and it doesn't help how you are helping him get through his high by riding him and wrapping your arms around his neck, soothing him down, allowing him to fill you up.

He looks at you desperately before he could try to speak incomprehensibly, you remove the little piece of clothing from his mouth.

"Im sorry- please, please don't leave yet I-" he begs, tears rolling down his cheeks. Hushing him with a kiss stopping his ramble as you let him finally wrap his arms around you.

"Satoru, calm down, I'm right here and all yours" you reassure him, rolling your hips, riding his already hardened, sensitive dick.

You were too much. You quickly fastened your pace, bouncing up on his cock as he supported your weight by gripping your ass.

"F-fuck- too good. feels too good, al-most too much" he cries his nails digging in your ass, spreading them apart as perfectly matches your rhythm, hitting your velvety spot with every thurst.

" sa-toru- 'm close, so close." you yelp, holding him closer, resting your forehead against his, panting against his lips.

"me- me too" he panted "c-come with me baby?" he requested as his own orgasm grew closer every passing second. Supporting you by wrapping an arm around your waist as the other massaged your clit helping you out with your high.

He chanted your name, sobbing, tears rolling down his cheeks as you twitched in his arm cumming around him, your pussy milking him dry of every essence of him as his body writhe under yours, his thrusts slowly getting sloppy yet he kept chasing your highs like an insatiable beast. Riding them out, allowing the both of you to calm in each other's arms as bare bodies clung to each other.

Moments like these make you realize that the two strongest are simply putty in each other's hands- him definitely more than you.

"My sweet love, was that not too mean of you? You could've at least tied me up instead of putting me in such a predicament. Do you know how hard it was to control myself and refrain f-" you hushed his never ending rant with a soft kiss.

"mean? I wonder who sent me such a text" you ponder, raising your eyebrows

"Hey, i never sent you a random text! It was a very specific one- it was an emergency text actually, well two TEXTS to be specific so I wasn't spamming you either. I clearly followed your rules" He defended himself puffing his chest, faking anger at you.

"You're insufferable, Satoru" you joke as you get up to clean the both of you up just when you see Satoru opening his mouth to say something "No. Don't even think of saying a word or even getting up, I will take care of us today."

He sighs knowing it's impossible to change your mind, instead opting to confess "I love you"

"I love you too, Satoru"

"And, y/n, I love you more" he chuckles and you sigh but Satoru didn't lie and so he will always have the last word.

IM DONE!!!!! FUCKING FINALLY!!!!! GOODBYE IM NOW THROWING MYSELF OFF A CLIFF!!!!!!!!

[REQUESTS ARE OPEN]

[MASTERLIST]

[sivyera]

i dont know if you take request s but i really need this one i havent found anyone doing it. i really need headcanons with cullen their mate being turkish (like her english is good but like classical turkish things yk being angry at the smallest things, making fun of everything, being very kind and welcoming but looks so serious all the time and please if you can make her pretty as a valpire). its ok if you dont take requests 💗. and im sorry if i couldnt express myself english is not my first language.

hi! i tried my best and i add other islamic countries because i don't know if you wear hijab or not and i also wanted to give some love to my ladies with hijabs so there are some parts with hijab in every character, i hope you like it because i put a lot of work in it!

Twilight characters dating islamic reader

ft. carlise, emmet, rosalie, edward, jasper, alice, jacob, seth, paul, bella

a/n: guys i'm not from islamic country so i apologize for any mistakes, i don't want to make anyone upset nor angry, it is also not really good because i don't know much about this culture so... i tried my best, hope you like it!

༺☆༻

⤷ Carlise Cullen

-Carlise would love your constant switching emotions. at one time you are calm, kind, welcoming to everyone and a lovely wife and then out of the sudden you trip over your dress and you are now yelling over the whole house, then mumbling something in turkish (your native language) underneath your breath that no cullen understands and Carlise is just smiling while looking at you.

he'd want to know about Turkey (or other islamic country) and what is it like, i belive he visited Turkey (or other islamic countries) but just for two weeks max so... he didn't really explored the culture and he wants to hear you speak about your homeland and family and stories, he just loves it.

he'd love to see you cook your favourite food or some traditional meals or snacks from your childhood because he wants to educate himself about your country, but he cannot eat it which makes him kinda mad, about the educating; he'll also search some Turkish (or other islamic country) words and when he's feeling really flirty, he'll tell you something in turkish to impress you

if you're wearing a hijab, he'd be again very respectful and if anyone did you wrong, he'd have your back and be right next to you glaring and "politely" telling the person to fuck off

⤷ Emmett Cullen

-Emmett would love to tease you just to see you being mad. he will poke your belly a bit or (gently) kick your feet so you trip over and when you are being all angry, again mumbling something in your native language probably something how you gonna kill him and all, he's just there laughing on the ground.

sometimes he would get confused because you look so serious at all the time and sometimes you talk with serious, stone hard face without even realizing it, so if you tell him a joke with dead serious face he'd stand there blank look on his face, yk yk.

you can use it against him, because when you are really mad he's scared of you. and you are the only one he listens to.

he'd love to try and eat every single food you have in Turkey (other islamic country) or snacks or drinks, but because he's a vampire he cannot so you are just telling him what each food is like and what's inside etc.,, he can listen for hours to this

if you're wearing a hijab he'd definitely would use it for another teasing, like gently tugging on it or placing bananas on top of your head yk.

⤷ Rosalie Hale/Cullen

-Rosalie have always found islamic women so pretty. she always thought that they are the most beautiful women on earth, just their energy made her feel some kind of way...

so she is considering herself extremely lucky to date you, like really. she even thinks that you are more beautiful than her, which shows how much she actually love you.

she also has bad temper so when you are mad on the smallest thing, she's mad with you just because

sometimes people say you two are siblings because both of you have your serious face all the time, when people say that both of you are mad, you "yelling" on that person and Rosalie growling under her breath ready to attack this person

but when she sees you looking out of window, calmly breathing with sun rays slightly touching your soft features, she smiles to herself while being glad that she has you

if you're wearing a hijab, she'd want you to teach her how to make it and then she will do it for you. she'd find you even more beautiful because she can just look at your pretty clear face without hair in it and admire you.

⤷ Edward Cullen

-Edward reads a lot so i believe he knows a lot about your homeland and culture but he lied to you and told you that he never heard of it so you have to tell him about it, so he can hear you talk.

he didn't realize how many interesting thoughts he'd hear, i mean at one time he can hear you thinking about that pretty nail polish you've bought and after few minutes he hears some turkish (or other islamic language) words without knowing the meaning and then english words where you say you messed up that nail polish.

he'd probably could speak with you in your native language because he hears so many words (thoughts) in your native language so that he remembers them and know the meaning.

he'd play for you on piano some turkish (or other) songs he has found on the internet just to impress you and it was such a romatic gesture.

he'd be really interested in music at your homeland because it would make him feel more close to you.

⤷ Jasper Hale/Cullen

-Jasper is "old" cowboy so you two just somehow clicked. somehow there was a chemistry that just mixed your vibes and made a perfect couple yk.

he'd sneak into your room at night and listen to stories from your homeland and then he would tell you some stories from time when he was a human.

Jasper can feel your emotions so if you are tired of your bad temper just tell him and he will calm you whenever he feels that you are getting angry.

that's why you two are such a perfect couple, because you help him control his thirst and he helps you to control your emotions, so both of you are focusing on different things that doesn't involve you which means you are even calmer

you two agreed on that you are gonna pull out the "in pain face" card whenever one of you is feeling uncomfortable so

if you're wearing a hijab, Jasper would make sure no one makes you uncomfortable even more because people at Forks are not used to seeing women wearing a hijab and some kids at school can be pretty mean...

⤷ Alice Cullen

-Alice knew that her mate will be from Turkey (or other islamic country) so she had some time to get ready. she read something on the internet and she borrowed some books from Carlise or Esme about islamic countries so she could be prepared

she was very opened and VERY interested in your homeland and your traditions, so she would want to know every single detail! because she didn't wanted to disrespect you, not even the smallest

sometimes she could see when you will become angry, so she either wants to see you angry because she thinks you look cute or she will do anything to prevent it, depends on her mood

you two are the definition of sunshine x grumpy, because Alice is always smiling and kind and loving... you on the other hand are also kind and loving but your face looks like a stone so you kinda scare Alice's bullies away

Alice would be really interested in your traditional dresses just because she likes fashion and she likes to talk about it. so you two will lay in bed, you holding a photo of you in you traditional dress in your hands and she pointing at each suture and decoration

if you're wearing a hijab, she would love to style it for you or put cute stickers on it (if you let her)

⤷ Jacob Black

-Jacob would LOVE it! because when you are angry you cringe your nose in such a cute was, he's not scared at all he finds it funny because there is no way you could beat him.

he would be very protective because sometimes you and Paul argue which can lead Paul to shift so Jacob is here to protect you in that case.

but your welcoming and loving side is his favourite. when you treat him like a puppy, yeah really. when you stroke his cheek while saying "good job, baby" when he fixed his bike, his pupils will go bigger and he will follow you around like a puppy.

he'd eat everything you make, like everything. so when you started making you traditional food and snacks (with Emily's help) he ate it all and then say how much he liked it.

he will crave your both initials into a small piece of wood and gave it to you as a good luck charm, and when you asked him what's his lucky charm he answered with simple "you".

if you're wearing a hijab he will make sure that it's clean because there is a lot of wolf hair around the house.

⤷ Seth Clearwater

-Seth will also love when you are angry but because you look so hot! so he will just stare in awe and then take you to his room and kiss you all over

he will also start stare fights, like who can last longer without blinking but he will always lose and laugh at your serious face.

he can become really protective when someone is disrespecting you, and by that i mean he'll go feral if someone slightly disrespects you he'll tear them apart. he maybe looks cute but he's a real monster in his wolf form, to you he's just a big puppy

he will eat every traditional snack that you can offer, some small candy your grandma made when you couldn't sleep or some salty chip your mother fried when you wanted, he will eat it ALL.

when you cuddle with him, he will put his face into your neck and breath in your scent because that calms him down, knowing that you are here with him, safe

if you're wearing hijab he will make sure no one touches it or no one is making you uncomfortable with questions because if yes, oh lord...

⤷ Paul Lahote

-Paul again finds you anger sexy and cute at the same time so it depends if he's in a heat or not, and if you say you get angry at the smallest things well then you two will do a lot of cardio...

Paul, like every other shape-shifter will eat everything! if it's from you then TWICE of everything! he then uses the energy and calories to his wolf body which makes him even stronger than he already is!

he's also very possessive and protective, like a LOT! especially if it's a guy that's bothering you, he will beat him up like crazy i can tell

if you cup his face into your hands and kiss him "hard" on the lips, he will melt into you. he loves when you surprise him with kisses and affection...

he LOVES when you talk to him in your native language, call him baby in your native language and his full attention will be on you, he will come to you as soon as he hears your voice; put his hands on your waist and just stare into your eyes

if you're wearing a hijab he'll ask a lot of questions about it and then growl at everyone who starts talking about it, even at Sam

⤷ Bella Swan

-Bella would be shy from the start so she will just look at you with blank stare without knowing what to do because you were fine few minutes ago, now you are yelling at some ladybug that scared you.

but she will get used to it and then just giggle at you, she will also learn few turkish (other islamic language) words just to impress you but it will take her a bit more time to really say them to you

she will love to hear you stories while you're playing with her hair, she will lay her head on your lap and just close her eyes, listening to your calming voice telling her some fairy tail that you grandma used to tell you while you're stroking her hair

she will try some candy or sweet snacks from your country and some good meal that's not spicy, because i feel like she's not really a fan of spicy food

she often does some movements with her face like with her lips or eyes or eyebrows and she finds it so fascinating that you can stare at the tv with serious face... wow...

if you're wearing hijab she will look at you while you make it and how you tug your hair perfectly inside, gorgeous.

i feel like this is so bad, i really hope you like it!

-love, sivyera

[g3z0]

Rich stupid Highschool Kids P6

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5

Summary: The Sturniolo‘s. Their kids are rich and spoiled, stupid brats. You hated them. But you hated Nicolas the most. The way he looks down on everybody and thinks he is better than everyone else just makes your blood boil. You’re a drug dealer - selling drugs to those rich dumb kids, trying to earn some money. Who would’ve thought this would be a love story?

Warnings: cursing, after effects of drugs, mentions of Drugs, drug abuse

-g3z0

I never felt more worse than now in my life.

I know that MDMA has some bad after effects but I didn’t think they would be that bad.

I didn’t even want to take it. Max just mixed it in my drink.

But that’s what he does - what everyone his kind does.

They can’t accept a no. They never heard it once in their life. And even if someone tells them no, they just take what they want because that’s how their life works.

That’s how it always works. Just because their daddy has money, they are above everyone else.

I sigh to myself as I try to focus on what the teacher is talking about.

It’s hard - I can’t even think straight.

I feel so depressed and unmotivated. I just want to rot in my fucking bed.

„Y/n“ I hear max whisper to me from the seat behind me.

I close my eyes for a second and clench my jaw.

I‘ve been ignoring him. He went too far. But of course I can’t fucking tell him that because he wouldn’t even understand.

He thinks he’s not to blame. Like always.

„Hey.“ he whispers again and I feel my chair being kicked.

I ball my hands into fists and stare right forward. Don’t react, just don’t fucking react.

„Y/n, hey!“ max whispers more loudly this time and the teachers head shoots up to us.

„If you want to distract the class you can do it outside, y/n.“ the teacher says as he stares at me.

I run my tongue over my teeth as I reach for my backpack, shaking my head.

I grab it and stand up, walking out of the class without saying a word.

I take a deep breathe, trying to calm down.

I walk outside of the school building, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

I take a long drag, leaning my back against the wall as I stare on the ground.

I hate everything.

I hear the door being pushed open „y/n.“ max says.

He can’t even give me one fucking minute.

I see his shoes in front of me but I don’t look up.

If I see his face right now I might loose it.

„What’s wrong with you?“ he says and I can feel his eyes burning a hole into my head.

I close my eyes and take another drag.

Calm down.

„Are you fucking deaf?“ he laughs. I grip the cigarette harder against my fingers.

I finally look up to meet his gaze. His smile fades as he sees my expression.

He sighs „y/n-" he starts while shaking his head.

„Don’t.“ I say through gritted teeth.

He licks his lips and stares at me for a second before he looks to the side. He takes a deep breathe and shrugs with his shoulders „look- I-"

He shakes his head and looks back at me „I just wanted to make you feel better.“ he mumbles.

He can’t be fucking serious.

„I mean it worked, didn’t it?“ he chuckles as he stares at me.

I clench my jaw and look back down on my shoes.

He doesn’t even know what he did wrong.

„Come on, don’t be like that.“ he continues as he lays a hand on my shoulder.

I slap his hand away and look back up at him. „leave it, max.“ I spat as I push myself off the wall.

I take a step closer to him, glaring down at him. „Okay? Fucking leave it. I’m done with this shit.“ I mumble as I walk past him.

„Y/n!“ he yells after me but I just shake my head, walking down the stairs from the school property.

„Come on, you just can’t stop selling!“

I take another drag from my cigarette.

„Im gonna snitch.“

I stop my movements, turning around to him. „What did you just say?“

He swallows and stares down at me as he stands on top of the steps.

He shake his head and sighs „y/n, I’m your friend. I’m just thinking about your well being.“

I let out a laugh, flicking my cigarette away and walking back up the steps.

He takes a step back as he stares at me „y/n-"

„My friend, huh?“ I say as I stand directly in front of him, staring down at him.

He sighs and looks to the side and I push his shoulders back, making him stumble, causing him to look back at me.

„You’re not my fucking friend, max.“ I spat shaking my head „you don’t care about me, you only care about your fucking reputation.“

He stares at me while he shake his head „that’s not true.“

I laugh into his face „you only hang out with me because you have a advantage of it. Because of my fucking drugs.“

He just continues to stare at me.

„Why would someone like you hang out with someone like me?“ I mumble as I lift my hand, running through my hair, causing him to flinch.

I stare at him in disbelief.

„You‘re scared..“ I whisper as I shake my head, taking a step back.

He rolls his eyes and sighs „y/n-"

„Go on, fucking snitch on me. I‘ve got nothing to loose.“ I laugh „But don't think I'm gonna continue to be your fucking running buddy“

I turn around again and walk down the stairs, taking a deep breathe.

Im so dumb for thinking he’s actually my friend.

He never was. People like him aren’t friends with people like me.

We don’t stand on the same page. He has his whole future planned out for him. He has a fucking chance in life.

I don’t. And I need to accept that.

I lay down in my bed, staring at the ceiling while taking a long drag from my joint.

My phone buzzes and I sigh, as it lights up my dark room.

I grab my phone, squeezing my eyes at the sudden brightness.

I lick my lips and answer the phone, pressing it against my ear.

„Y/n?“ nick says on the other line, wich gives my body goose bumps.

I sigh, closing my eyes „what do you want..“ I mumble as I rub my eye with my finger.

„You got any coke? Weed?“ he asks.

I smile to myself. Of course he’s only calling because of that reason.

„Im not selling anymore, bye.“ I say as I pull my phone back, wanting to hang up.

„No, wait!“ I hear him yell through the phone.

I roll my eyes and bring it back to my ear. ���What?“

He’s silent for a few seconds and then he lets out a sigh „please y/n.. I know you have something I-" he stops when his voice breaks.

I stare at my ceiling with a frown.

„Please..“ he mumbles and his voice almost sounds desperate.

I sigh, running through my hair.

How I hate him.

„I have weed.“ I mumble, sitting up in my bed.

„Yeah?“ he asks.

I nod my head „yeah..“

„Okay, uhm.. where can we mee-"

„Im not going anywhere. You want it. You come here. And that’s the last fucking time.“ I say before taking another drag from my joint.

He sighs „okay.. yeah- yeah, I’m coming..“

„Alright.“ I say.

„Y/n?“

„What?“

He’s doesn’t say anything for a few seconds.

„Where do you live again?“

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[ieatsaltychildren]

REPLACED

Obey me x replaced!reader

I did use she/her pronouns in this. Theres not a ton of dialogue and was honestly part of a vent💀 Remember that I’m in no way trying to romanticize any of this.

TW!- mentions of an eating disorder, suicide, overdose, death, probs OOC, angst no comfort.

Some songs I listened to while writing this- Rock Bottom-Eminem, The way I am-Eminem, 4 morant- doja cat, Alone-doja cat, 25 to life-eminem. Literally these on repeat😭

Life is hard. We all know this, but why did this have to happen? Why did she have to come along and take them away? Why did they choose to leave me?

I shouldn’t have trusted them. The one time i let my guard down and this happens. Mila, the bitch who took them away. I was nice to her, i tried to be her friend, i wanted to get to know her but apparently she only wanted to see my downfall and the brothers kneeling for her.

I don’t like talking about when she first came, but for the backstory i will. Diavolo thought it would be a good idea to invite another human to be an exchange student. At first i was overjoyed. I wanted to have another human girl to talk to and relate to, but once she showed up everything went wrong. She started framing me for shit she did, and i just stood there and took the scolding i got.

Eventually all the brothers just went to her and ignored me. They only talk to me if they need something done or they yell at me. I still always try to get them to love me, yet i always fail.

She even was able to get the angels, royals, Solomon, mephisto, and even Thirteen and Raphael on her side. Everyone left me. Every day is just a repeat. Wake up late most days, have lucifer remind me of how much of a failure i am, skip breakfast, go to classes, probably skip lunch, go to classes, go back to hol, force myself to eat dinner, eat dinner in my room, and sleep. Every day. Theres nothing to be excited about when i wake up anymore. No more hanging out with mammon, no more being levis player two, no more sleepovers with asmodeus. The only one who remotely cared about me was barbatos. Maybe he could help me get back to the human world but it wouldn’t be any better.

What hurt most was mammon, my first man leaving me. He swore. He fucking swore that he would always love me yet he still left me. We weren’t even dating so why does it have to hurt so much.

Even fucking beelzebub. He always acts so sweet but he left to. They all did. Maybe its good mila came along. She showed me that they weren’t trustworthy. It still hurts though.

I just want it all to be over with. If liliths not gonna kill me then I’ll do it myself.

My lifes been shit anyways. It never got better. It sucks to always wake up stressed. It sucks to always be hoping and praying that ill just die. Mila coming along and replacing me just added onto it.

I have attempted at my life multiple times since she came. Never has it worked. But maybe that will change soon. Maybe that will change tonight. I wonder how long it would take them to even notice, they didn’t notice my failed attempts so why would they notice a successful one. I wonder how they would react, the royals, angels, every single one of them. I already know mila would be happy. Maybe they would feel the same.

The laughter of the brothers and mila snaps me out of my daze. It reminds me of the short lived happiness i once had. The happiness i wish i still had. But soon it would all be over. Once the pills fully kick in I’ll finally be happy.

I have tried overdosing before. It didn’t work last time but it should work now. I have a good feeling. Or maybe thats just the drugs. I didn’t even write a goodbye note to them yet. It’s fine though.

Hearing their laughter in my final moments hurt but felt so good at the same time. It’s kicking in. It’s finally working. Ill be free.

My vision got blurry. I could only hear a distorted version of their voices that eventually faded out. Then it all went black. Its the end

Im free

———————————————————————

It had been a few days since you died. No one knew until 4 days had passed. Mammon needed to borrow money from you for diavolo knows what.

He knocked on your door “Y/nnn, open up I need to ask ya somethin”

No response

He knocked again and yelled “y/n?”

No response

So he went to tell lucifer. I don’t know if he intended on telling on you or was concerned. Probably the first option.

“Lucifer, y/n won’t open her door”

“What do you want me to do about it?” Lucifer sighed sick of his brother’s shit.

“I just need to get some grimm from her”

“Just go in. She’s probably just sleeping”

“Fine then” mammon replied starting to walk out the door.

As he approached your door he got a certain nervous feeling. He just ignored it, nothing bad could happen, right? Wrong.

As soon as he opened your door he saw you dead on the floor, drug bottle in hand.

He stood there frozen. How could this happen?? He was supposed to protect you. He was your first man. He hopes you were just passed out but deep down he knew.

He ended up calling for his brothers. This is the one time they really actually looked at you in months, hell almost a year. Mila was happy, as expected but she covered it up with tears.

Soon solomon, the royals, and angels showed up. Raphael, thirteen, and mephisto even showed up.

They all realized how shitty they treated you. They realized how badly they fucked up.

———————————————————————

I might honestly make another ending where y/n keeps pushing and ends up fucking mila up or goes back to the human world and tries to get her shit straight. Im not sure tho. Might do how they would react too y/n dying AND where you went after you died. I wrote this for 3 hours straight😭😭😭 my hands are cramping

MAYBE THE END