#IT’S A BASIC FUCKING BOUNDARY
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I’ve spent the entire day carefully avoiding triggering any negative emotion in myself because the PMS is hitting me hard and I’m genuinely tired of being hysterical all the time, only for my family to come along and shatter all that effort into TINY LITTLE PIECES
#NO I WILL NOT SEND YOU MY FICS#NO I WON’T TELL YOU THE TITLE OF IT OR MY USERNAME FUCK OFF#WHY IS THAT SO DUCKING HARD TO RESPECT#IT’S A BASIC FUCKING BOUNDARY#if my sister decides to not listen and ends up finding my Ao3 somehow I’m deleting everything and I won’t even care#it’s not even like I’m hiding some deep dark secret stuff that can never see the light of day#but writing is something both very person and very sensitive to me#there’s a reason I never share my writing or my art with the people I have the misfortune of calling parents#they trample all over whatever measly sense of confidence I’ve managed to build up#I ask them of one thing. don’t go searching for my creations. I practically beg them of it#and yet they keep. on. pushing#and the more upset I get the funnier they think it is#why don’t I get even the smallest amount of respect. why don’t I deserve at least that#I wish I could cut them all off and never speak to them again. they’re all awful. every last one#I hate them so fucking much#of course I ended up afamilial#who in their right minds would want a family when the only frame of reference they have is… this#I’m so tired…
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I know I keep asking this and you only answer when its anon but please please what is your opinion on Cross and a reference or full body comic. Please Anó I'm not trying to be bothersome but I'm balling by eyes out on your so few Cross drawings.
*Disintegrates*
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didn’t see this sign (refer to no.4 in that post please) and this sign (read the full post)
Whether someone is on Anon or not isn’t in the equation when I answer an ask, I answer asks that I can answer easily way more quickly cause I already have that answer with me on the ready, other asks I take some time for reasons that I am not obligated to share
If I happen to only answer your questions when you’re on Anon, it’s merely a coincidence and nothing more
I find it hilarious cause I literally just got a friend’s opinion on which design I should go for Cross’ jacket just a few minutes before I got this ask
I’m not some sort of machine that is able to bump out artworks or answers for asks as they come, have some fucking respect for my time and understand that when you send an ask, you’re talking to a human behind that fucking screen, and that doesn’t just go for me, but for every fucking blog on this hellsite
#it’s 7 am i’m not in the mood for this bullshit#and I read this while I’m at work too#cause y’know#i’m an adult that has responsibilities outside my online life yet somehow people can’t understand that#i find it wild how the only fandom that managed to break my very basic boundaries are the UT fandom#I’m not gonna be online for the rest of the day I’m so fucking frustrated and tired rn#maybe for the rest of the fucking week even#any and all Anons or off Anons asking for their shit to be answered will be immediately blocked moving forward#anothers ask
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(x) Mahiru: I just normally loved someone. I don't think I've done anything wrong. And besides, I... can't live without love.
I hope Mahiru's T2 forgiven vote makes her worse. I hope she becomes the T2 Muu of Trial 3. I want to see her in full "I didn't do anything wrong" mode. I want her to get an It's Not My Fault-adjacent song I support women's wrongs.
#I think a lot of people in this fandom forget that Mahiru still doesn't think she did anything wrong#and thinks that her only real crime was that she “loved wrong”#when in actuality she 'tested' her boyfriend. had 'breakup rituals' with him#and disrespected his boundaries on multiple occasions#knows that she did so and tries to justify it#every other lyric in ai nan desu yo is basically “hey I know you're uncomfortable but you're just so cute about it”#“even when I test if you love me it's because I love you”#“we should have matching pain babe <3”#this woman has not learned a fucking thing !!!#already waiting her trial 3 unforgiven vote cause muu has taught me how you people are#{⚖️ after knowing all I wonder. can you really forgive them? 👁️}#milgram#milgram project#mahiru shiina#shiina mahiru#milgram mahiru
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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)
#lay rambles#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#oc: lilian hawke#both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it#theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences#with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever#they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key#and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever#hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do#mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself#(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc#also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house#(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space#he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet#always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like#food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind#and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them#(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa#dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever#however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults#also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt#not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself#oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD
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i think i wouldn’t hate disco elysium’s collage mode nearly as much if it weren’t for 1) the way that it was marketed in such a tasteless, soulless manner, let alone the fact that it was a last ditch distraction from a dead on its feet studio piloted by dumbass thieving execs and released on the day of the court declaration, and 2) those dumbass fucking stickers
like if it had been included with the base game from the start and had been titled something a bit more tasteful and in-line with how i would have liked the feature to be marketed as— something like “exploration mode”, something that perhaps could only be unlocked after completing the game for the first time, AND didn’t have those stupid as hell visually and tonally incongruent with the artstyle stickers, i would have applauded it as a nice little bonus for being able to study and appreciate the 3d models and environments for reference.
#it is just so bleak man.#i have no words left to say for the latest development at zaum studios so instead i will just remember how fucked up this was lol#those stickers are the same energy as that dumbass fucking christmas card they put on steam.#cutesy fanart is awesome and all but don’t muddy the tone of the actual source with it. why is that necessary.#for gods sake what happened to boundaries#again i probably would take a different tone to even the stickers if#it had been done under the original creators (which i don’t think it would have‚ which is my point‚ but say hypothetically it happened)#but with the circumstances the way they are it is impossible to not view it all as tainted with a veneer of absolute tastelessness#and a disrespect to the source material and a sorry attempt to appeal to the shallowest parts of ‘fandom’#like you can add cartoony emoji faces and a sticker with harry and kim as cats. or their hands with the caption ‘best friends!!!’ (wtf lol)#and a frame with a bunch of pride flags being waved around (hard to articulate why i feel doubly annoyed of this one.#your corporate pride parade aesthetic is showing again. also it feels… lazy)#but you can never‚ ever erase the fact that you are parading around a stolen IP that you are entirely out of touch with#and one that you clearly have *no idea what to do with*#(something that we’ve all known for months with these hints but today has finally been basically confirmed as the sequel seems to be#officially cancelled with the last of the original writers’ crew being laid off)#how could you have known what to do with Elysium? how could you ever have?#hope you have fun with your stickers. rot#disco elysium#me talking
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fun fact about me is that despite me logically not caring about cc boundaries, emotionally i get really nervous about breaking them still cause i Hate being intrusive to anyone ever which in practice means that if a cc has too many/too strict public boundaries i just. dont wanna draw them. ever.
so anyways ive been hyping myself up to draw 4c for like 2 months now and thats just been going nowhere lmao
#mine.txt#so Technically ive been wanting to draw him and hesitating about it for longer than that#since october or maybe december last year i believe?#but for This specific drawing its been 2 months#i think#i dont actually remember how long its been lmao#basically its one where 4c is wearing mikus dress in the mesmerizer vid#and one of 4c's boundaries is to *ask him about drawing him crossdressing*#which. is fucking Wild to me#like.#I Dont Know You Bro.#why tf would i hit you up in dms going#''heyyyy so do you mind if i draw your cubito in a dress pretty pleaseeee its not weirdge i prommyyyy ^-^''#like. are you being fr?? are you being For Fucking Real Right Now????#so yeah i really wanna draw 4c but i just. Cannot get over that mental block rn i just cant
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here's a return to sunfall (and blazon arch and the two carja gates near it)! the mod has been updated so there were no more endless loading screens when i recorded this :D makes exploring much more fun!
i'm not as excited about this thumbnail but it took a lot of super annoying work to set up so here's a(n unfortunately small) version without text:
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#out of bounds exploration#hfw out of bounds#video#also sorry to write a book in the tags but:#honestly i am very Done with this video. i had So. Many. Issues.#trying to get a recording as smooth as what i see in gameplay (fail). not falling off of things while recording (took 3 attempts lol)#getting the tallneck facing the right direction (several tries)#uploaded to yt and got a copyright warning(?) from sony because of music. wtf! it was just what plays in the game?!?#yt basically said “you're allowed to use it but the copyright owner can change their mind at any time” so#i tried to re-edit that section and ended up rendering the final video FOUR MORE TIMES bc a track was missing or off by a few miliseconds#and THEN i had to upload it to yt AGAIN which takes *literal hours*#so anyway fuck this video lmao#but i put a tallneck in it tho so that's nice#oh and i was able to get close to the leafcutter ants :)#hfw pc#(remove reload boundary mod)
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Soleil Navarro.*
She's not actually in love with her boyfriend Jayden, but it's not like he's in love either. They're best friends and he's absolutely insane in bed though so she's pretty down on keeping up their... less than conventional relationship.
#shes an engineering major#and he was like 'yo soleil if we get married can i be a stay at home husband'#and she was like 'i mean yeah u kind of meet all the requirements.'#'and i make a shit ton of money so we'll be fine.'#so yeah theyre basically roman and cassidy but a lot less toxic#boundary wise she was like 'hey i dont want you messing with other girls okay ik u have a history' and then jj was like '... what if we..#'mess with other girls... together..?'#so they occasionally fuck a girl together#bisexuals!!#sims#sims 4#soleil.*#ts4#the sims#the sims 4#cas#cas screenshots#gamma saga#oc#ocs#simblr#show us your sims#the sims community#my sims#sims community#the sims 4 cas#showusyoursims
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for some reason the intro to phonology and syntax classes for grad students are also the advanced phonology and syntax classes for undergrads, which means the professors are spouting off dense syntactical theory to undergrads who have already taken the intro class with them, meanwhile there's six of us grad students sitting to the side staring at each other like this
#linguistics blogging#no joke I literally made this face in syntax earlier#the professor was describing contiguity theory and drawing syntax trees I could NOT understand#and an undergrad asked her ''what does this mean for phi-boundaries'' or something like that#and I just looked over at my friends and made this face#only to discover they were all also looking bewildered and/or miserable#I'm so glad it's not just me#because I have literally never taken a phonology or syntax class#and I am SO out of my depth#we did the BARE basics of this stuff in my minor#and definitely no theory#so I have no fucking idea what's going on#luckily out of the six of us only two have an actual linguistics degree before this#the rest of us are pretty new to the field#so we are suffering together#i hate syntax and phonology. god.#these technical fields are NOT for me#this is why I'm a sociolinguist!!!!!#I am not interested in theories about how language works from an abstract perspective#I'm much more interested in WHY language behaves the way it does socially#like. I don't care about the phonological reasons for a particular sound feature#im more interested in the social context. does this sound carry prestige? is it stigmatized? how has the perception of it changed over time#I don't care about the theory behind why certain languages have developed grammatical rules for word order#I'm more interested in what happens when a dialect forms from a community with a different L1#and how their ideas of word order affect their L2 dialect#you know?#the social and historical stuff is where I thrive#not this theory babble#like. the theory is important work. but it's not MY work.
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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love how everyone comes to me with their problems but have never asked me about how tf am i doing
#i am sick of people and their relationship dramas#i am not sorry i don't care#fuck off#especially when i have sey strict boundaries that i DO NOT get myself involved in anyone else's friendship or relationship#have some basic decency and leave me tf alone
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>be me
>get new follower
>hellyes.wav
>look at their profile
>they're very obviously an antishipper
feelsbadman
#not fandom#proship#anti-anti#proshippers please interact#this is about my sideblog but still#do you ever just look at someone's profile and INSTANTLY know whether or not they'd attempt to grievously harm you over fanfic#the fucking mile long dni list usually tips me off#like. im sorry but if you have a giant laundry list of people you hate on your profile i probably won't be comfortable around you#having boundaries is cool and all but like.. please define what you mean by ''basic dni criteria'' or ''no weirdos pls''#do you mean actual sex offenders or people who like fanfiction that you don't#do you mean people who have done real harm or people you disagree with regarding censorship#i hate blocking people who like my content but if i feel like i'm at risk of being harmed then imma do it#better to dodge a bullet and (worst case scenario) accidentally block someone for no real reason#than to make myself uncomfortable to avoid upsetting strangers on the internet#sorry i went on such a long tangent LOL i just needed to get this out of my system so that i dont feel guilty for no reason#scary crane rambles
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my housemate's cat (who's usually hesitant to let people within 5 feet of her) just made me pet her for a solid ten minutes while writhing around like a kitten and purring so loud it was making the fur on her face jitter
#post#it's shedding season so I'm sure she was happy to get help with that#and her actual owner is shit ass at respecting cat boundaries and im basically fluent in cat + on the cats' good side so im the Favorite 😎#ah fuck she tracked me down again
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guys if you're healing from ppl pleasing don't be friends from people who still do it because sometimes they will pressure you to ppl please with them !!!
#i only just now found the words for what was happening and i couldn't figure out what about it was making me so bad#it's them bringing me down with them#additionally#pushing past your boundaries so they can continue people pleasing for someone else#i wish they would keep their issues their own !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why is it suddenly my problem !!!!!!!! i'm actively working to NOT do that and they are standing in the fucking way !!!!!!!!!!!!!#insane !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and then what's crazy is they put all that energy into pleasing other people that they ignore treating you with basic respect !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#handmadeorganicpost
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// okay yeah reminder once again. most of you do not know me. i do not know you. your "jokes" are not funny when on anon theyre just creepy 🔥 kindly fuck off forever
#ooc#i dont want to post the offending ask but im genuinely going to fucking kill someone#its literally common sense its basic boundaries i should not be having to make posts about 'haha hey guys#maybe Dont pry into real peoples relationships this much thats kinda not normal'#and then you get worse#i really dont get mad often i dont i make a point not to but im seething#if thats what you wanted congrats you got it now go die in a hole#premade grave since nobodyll care enough to bury you themselves
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You wanna hear about some absolutely maladaptive brain weirdness? That I have never seen anyone else have?
My brain’s uncanny valley response is just broken as hell. Most things that would trigger it just do not, I am so chilled out about dolls, mannequins, weird photoshops, masks, etc. Those don’t set anything off unless they hit that primal unease dead faces cause
But for some fucking reason my uncanny valley response is 90% just reactive to small children under about 7ish (over that and their proportions are more normal, they stop doing that Small Child Stare, and are less likely to just unpredictably bolt or grab you-- so they’re also not as overstimulating to me as well), and some monkeys that have light eyes. Monkeys and apes with black or brown eyes don’t trigger it, even if they have very close to human facial proportions. JUST certain types of monkeys with the lighter eye colors. Lemurs are totally fine
What the fuck even caused this
#vena vents#not art#I've had bad experiences with other small children as a small child into adolescence so fucked up programming error basically?#that is the only thing I can think of#other than the dislike of being stared at and small children don't know about boundaries#also a lot of parents just let them get away with shit like breaking things or hurting/harassing animals which is most of the exps I had#when I was also like 6#but my resentment goes to the parents and not the kids because their brains are still mush
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