#IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JUST A SKETCH WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAPPENED?!?!?!? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mandy-asimp · 7 months ago

Text

Needed me

Emily Prentiss x fashion designer!reader (they/them)

Warnings: angst, fluff, happy ending

A/n: they dragging babygirl through hell this season 😔

"I'm sorry, but she is not my responsibility anymore. I can't be there to tell her it's going to be ok when she couldn't do that for me." They grumbled as they sat across from Rossi.

He sighed, "she's dealing with a lot."

"And I wasn't?" They didn't let him get further. "I get that you all are going to support her, she's your teammate. But you all didn't know her as your fiancé. The absolute love of your life who for the love of fucks, left you at your lowest."

The old man wasn't going to give up. He believed that there was still apart of them that would cave. "Y/n, you know I wouldn't have flown out here if I didn't think it was serious. She needs you."

It was them who sighed now. Standing up from the table. Leaning across to kiss the old man's cheek. "I'm sorry Dave. Unless she is at the point of tears and just giving up, I will not be roped back into it. Not again. I deserve better. I'll see you around."

And they were off. They never looked back to that table, knowing they were too close to facing...but they couldn't help but wonder what was so bad. Then there was what she did, how it flashed so quickly.

She came home that day to find her fiancé in tears. Body racking with sobs. "Babe? Baby what's wrong?" She was quick to drop her stuff and come crouch in front of her.

"Everything I've worked for it's gone." They got out between wiping away tears that seemed to never end.

Emily frowned, "what? Y/n, what happened?" She was trying to think of anything this bad. Had they been told bad news? Something someone said?

They picked up their phone and with shaky hands pulled up the news, a video of a burnt down building. "The studio...everything in it. All of it...this sets everything back..." they calmed their sobs to hiccups and a few more tears. "I'm absolutely ruined. This was supposed to be it. This was the break I was gonna get and then actually get to enter the real fashion world. I was going to go somewhere and I was going to make it," they spewed out so many worries. Mentions of how much time they'll need to restart, how this was the such an important thing.

Emily though, she froze up. There was so much happening she didn't know what to do. She's never witness them spiral out before. Within the four years, they knew how to keep themselves calm. Even if they couldn't, it's never been this intense. It scared her.

She knew it was a reasonable response to what had happened. Their entire future just went up into a crisp. Everything in her wanted to try and comfort them, truly she wanted to figure it out together.

Yet, the few bricks of the wall she'd built had more impact. She fell back behind it and regretted her next choice before it even happened. After that, Emily swore she blacked out because when she realized what happened, she was in a hotel room alone.

Y/n was just as shocked. The woman they were about to confess their undying love to just walked out. Not a single word said, but just gone. Even when they tried to ask questions, she gave them nothing.

For an entire week, Emily didn't try to reach out or fix anything. Instead she read every text that came through. Even the one that said all her shit would be on the curb for her. The one that set in what she did was calling off the wedding.

That was only a few years ago. The two had completely moved on, or at least Y/n tried to. Never wanting to look back on how much pain was caused, but apart of them wouldn't let themselves fall in love again.

But here they were. Sitting in the apartment, trying to sketch their next line, and only being able to think of Emily. Rossi came and he wouldn't have if it was serious. If they were to go to her, it would be unwrapping the bandages on a wound that hasn't been fully healed.

"No. You are stronger than this." They whispered to themselves. Staring at the sketchbook once again.

If they did...there would be a chance for closure. It would be nice to know why she ran. Why she couldn't just stick it out. They would've been the most badass couple. The FBI unit chief and a famous designer.

If they did...they would get the chance to finally express their anger. But it wouldn't be the right time if she's suffering. How is she suffering? What is going through her mind?

"Fuck." They shouted before getting up. Heading into their room to start packing a suitcase. Dialing Dave at the same time.

"Rossi"

"When are you flying back to Virginia?"

"I'll have the car there in ten. Thank you Y/n."

The call ended quickly, and Y/n was left to grumble. "Oh thank you Y/n! Thank you for having to be the damn adult once again. Thank you for willingly putting yourself through hell for her!" They had a nasty taste on their tongue as they spoke. It's honestly what silenced them.

Throwing a few outfits into a suitcase with the basic needs, they zipped it and began to pack a second bag. Grabbing everything needed to continue working on their summer line. This was done more carefully, with more precision on where everything went in.

Their eyes scanned over the packed bag, making sure everything was in there right. Right before Dave texted the car was out front.

One more sigh was let out before the apartment was locked up. The start of what might be either the biggest, or best choice made.

Emily was in her office. She was lost. She was loosing her mind over this case. Her wack-ass neighbor had hit a nerve she would've never expected.

It was just a mess now. Whoever was behind all this was winning and she couldn't figure it out. She was just fucked.

"Hey...how bad?" Rossi had popped into the room. Watching as the woman pulled out a box of cigarettes and lit one. "That bad?"

"Restricted duty until they see fit, so the BAU is yours." She tried to act calm, trying to keep it together infront of him.

Rossi huffed, "I don't want it. I'm not fit for it."

Emily pinched her nose. "None of us are! Hell! Me most of all. I need you to step up here Dave." She just needed him to make this easier.

"There has to be something?"

"This is happening." She shook her head and turned her back, her purse being a lame excuse for a distraction . The walls couldn't stay up as she felt herself begin to crumble.

A soft hand on her back made her gasp. She expected to turn and see Rossi, someone who she could only go so far with. Yet, her eyes were met with Y/n. She couldn't help it. Her legs gave out as she just sobbed into their chest on the floor.

It killed Y/n to see her like this. Emily was known for her tough demeanor and being able to keep it together at work. But that's what the team knew. Y/n knew her as their fiancé. They saw her breakdown at least once a month from the case build ups.

This however, Y/n could tell this was months on months of a build up. This was a low point, one that they would be there for.

It was half an hour before Emily could get out anything. Her brown eyes, wide and glassy, looked up to them. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was weak and defeated.

"I was told you needed me." Was all Y/n answered with. Naturally, their thumb wiped away the tears. "Why don't you sit on the couch and I'll make you some tea, hmm? Then you can tell me what's got you so...low."

The older got up and moved towards the couch. Y/n leaving the room to make the drink, remembering how Emily liked it like it was their own preferred. Within five minutes they were back and handing over the tea.

They stood, leaning against the desk. "Was it Brian again?"

"How did you...?" The question trailed off as Emily took her first sip. Trying to not let the warm feeling rush through her. They remembered her tea flawlessly.

Y/n glanced out the window, "I saw him lingering on the way in." Emily laughed a little at that. "But really....are you ok?"

"I've failed as a team leader. This job has corrupted me into breaking laws and lying to my team. I'm chasing with nothing but a conspiracy theory. I sounded crazy to the biggest conspiracy theorist in Virginia. I've been benched because of him. I just...I don't know what to do anymore." She so easily confessed. Her head falling into her hands for what felt like the millionth time today. "This can't be how I go out."

Internally, Y/n battled with going over there and holding her or keeping this distance. It put them back once again. They wouldn't be able to live with themselves if they did what she did, it just wouldn't make anything right. So they went over and held her again. This time placing an understanding kiss to her temple.

"It's not. I mean, it will be if you let it. And trust me when I tell you, you're going to want to let it. But that's not Emily Prentiss. She has been through so much worse than some theorist. This will be a fresh start. A chance to start anew. You will take it, and you will figure out this case. You will get your guy or whatever you call it, unsub? This is not your lowest. It's gonna feel like it, but it's just a low before the high. It's all going to be ok." They spoke from their heart. Even as it ached to be back in this position. Even as tears fell from their own eyes.

They were sharing her pain without wanting to, but needing to. Needing to let her know this wasn't it. Needing to let her know that someone was her to share her burdens again.

For the first time, both felt connected entirely. Beating with one heart. Thinking with one mind. Feeling with one body.

That night they had fallen asleep on the couch in her office. Holding onto one another like it would all go away as long as they were together.

Y/n had woken randomly, searching for any source of time. Rubbing their eyes as it was two in the morning. Emily didn't have to be back her till at least eight. They let their eyes fall to Emily. How she seemed so peaceful lying on top of them. She needed this more than Y/n had thought.

So, without much debate, Y/n was carrying the sleeping beauty and her bags out. Doing everything to prevent her from waking, which wasn't hard as she was out cold.

They drove in silence back to where they were staying. Knowing that if it came to it, they could drive to get her an outfit. The silence gave them time to really think. What were they doing? This is the exact opposite of what they were expecting.

Was Emily going to easily fit her way right back? It wouldn't be fair. She caused them the pain and yet they still love her. They would, without a doubt, let her as well. All she had to do was ask. It was just unfair, and they were going to live with it.

Emily stirred in the nice duvet. Confused as it wasn't hers and far too nice to be a hotel. She knew this duvet. She slept in it many times before.

"The coffee is being made. And breakfast is on the way." That voice she missed hearing in the morning.

She hummed while stretching, "how long have you been up?" She finally opened her eyes and seeing Y/n in sweats and a baby tee. Their casual lounge wear.

"Since maybe five. These sketches don't finish themselves unfortunately." They sat down at the desk that was perfectly illuminated by the sun at anytime of the day. "Oh, also your team is coming here tonight. You're taking the day according to Dave. He said it's his order and you should follow it."

"Why are they coming here?" She swung her feet out the bed. Her head turning to take in the room. "You kept your apartment here? What about living in New York?"

"My home in New York makes this look like a doll house. Smallest is the home in California. I move with the seasons." They simply explained. Frowning when Emily laughed.

"You're such a snob. Three houses? Really?" She got up and came to look at the sketches. Not saying anything as Y/n just began sketching again.

She couldn't help but stare at them. They made that concentration face still. Where the creativity would float in their eyes as the rest of their face was resting.

Y/n could feel her eyes on them. It wasn't anything out of their routine. Oh how they fell so easily into the routines.

"I'm a big fashion designer. I'm constantly doing something somewhere else. It's like you, Ms. FBI. Always away doing something," they hummed. Never once did they look up to her, they seemed to be battling the inevitable.

Emily didn't say anything, she just took in the sketches one more time and was off to the bathroom.

Both in their own thoughts and silence. Neither one knowing how to approach the situation of each other. Emily not knowing how to go about work. Y/n not knowing how to go about the designs. There were many thoughts floating in the air.

They let the silence stay around as they waited for breakfast to show up. Emily still clueless on why the team was coming. And she could've asked, but the thrill of a surprise put together by Y/n seemed to make her against it.

Y/n had been trying to sketch within the silence, but knowing Emily was only a few feet away made it hard.

"Babe! I'm home!" She called into the apartment. Noting how quiet it was. "Y/n? Are you even here?" A text saying 'study' came through, leading her through the quiet home.

When she pushed open the door, she found several mannequins with different outfits all lined up. "Isn't it beautiful?" Y/n hummed from the table of gems. They seemed to have been hand sewing each one on.

"Stunning. You didn't have all this done before I left?" Emily came to get a closer look. Being able to see the glimmer of proudness in Y/n's eyes. "What's it inspired by?"

Y/n didn't answer, instead just took int their work. Each outfit was inspired by their favorite memory with Emily. Between outfits they wore that night, or how they felt in the moment. The line was a collection of their love.

"Alrighty, leave me in the dark till it's released. Are you hungry? I imagine you've been to busy working to eat?" Emily left, getting comfortable.

Y/n looked over the sketches one more time. Sighing and dropping their head with a loud bump. They hadn't struggled this hard with sketches since when the two had first split.

They pushed up from their spot and headed into the kitchen. Rubbing their eyes to try and see anything clearly. They lost focus as they stared at the working coffee pot. This trip was already off on a different path than they wanted.

"If you want...I can leave." Emily's voice broke into the silent kitchen. Her head hung low and her hands picking at each other. She looked out the window briefly, bracing herself to meet the others stare.

Only, it wasn't on her. Instead Y/n moved around to get coffee, their back to the woman. "If you want to, I can drive you. But by no means are you gonna get kicked out." Two mugs got pulled down. They were matching ones Emily had gotten for them once upon a time ago.

They frowned to the memories of both mugs. There was a moment with a sigh. They forgot how much they avoided coming here and how they left everything almost the same.

The coffee was poured and the mug was handed over. Now they met each other's eyes. Emily wearing a frown as Y/n tried to keep their shit together.

"Unfortunately for me and fortunately for you, I couldn't kick you out even if you stabbed me. But I wouldn't try, we both have too much to loose for that." Y/n kept their distance still. Eyes either on Emily or anywhere else in the house. It was getting quiet again and it wasn't enjoyable. They rubbed their eyes again, "I need to get back to work. Feel free to make yourself comfortable but not too loud."

They were off and back in their study before Emily could even get anything out. "What about breakfast?" She called out and after, following herself.

Y/n flipped over their phone, "it's about ten minutes away." Their voice was cold and stale. Short of the comforting Emily had heard last night.

It confused her. "You are so confusing." She mumbled. Her head shaking just a bit at the cold demeanor.

"Funny coming from you." Y/n shot back almost instantly. A nasty taste washing over their tongue again. They sucked their tooth before turning around. Eyes immediately locking Emily in. "If this is confusing for you, let me tell you what's confusing for me. The fact that when my entire future burnt into literal crisps, the only thing you, my fiancé at the time, quite literally walked out and said nothing. For a week you then ghost me, mind you I was the one you were marrying in less than a month, and then after years of not looking back, David Rossi shows up. You know what THE David Rossi asked me? To come help you. And here I am, trying my absolute best to keep my shit together so you don't have to worry about another thing. Because you know what Emily? I care for you enough to be there for you." They spewed everything out, hands being thrown around in dramatics as their chest heaved.

Emily was too stunned to speak. What was she to say? Y/n was right. She left when they needed her the most and left without a word. And yet, here they were giving her nothing but what they always have, love.

"I'm sorry," was all that she could manage.

They only scoffed, "whatever. Breakfast is almost here." Y/n shook their head and sat back down at the desk. "You can put my food in the fridge."

"Y/n..." Emily sounded broken, even more than last night. It killed Y/n, but they deserved their reason, and she knew that.

Cautiously, she moved in closer. Coming to Y/n's left and sitting down on the floor. Her knees bent just enough to rest her arms on.

"I panicked...I had never seen you break down like that before..I didn't know how to respond and I just fell behind a wall and did what I always did..I ran from it instead of facing it. And it wasn't fair to you. I truly have no excuse for what I did, except I was a coward." She spoke quietly into the air. Feeling tears prick her eyes as the feeling of guilt and embarrassment kicked her hard. "I only can say sorry, and I say it knowing it will never be enough to make up for all of the pain I may have caused you."

Both had taken the next moment to sit in silence and process everything. Y/n had tears falling from the moment Emily had sat down next to them. Emily had let her tears fall once she finished.

A few beats had passed and Y/n had let their hand fall to Emily's head. Sliding to her cheek as she looked up. "You Emily Prentiss, have caused more pain than I can bring up again. And I hope you have learned from it. I hope you didn't do it to anyone else and you won't do it to anyone else." They had this frown she had never seen, one she knew she had caused.

"I'm so sorry Y/n.." she quietly cried leaning into the touch. Feeling the warmth of the designers hands. "I'm so sorry."

"I know," they hummed as tears fell down their rosy cheeks. "I know you are."

Hours had gone by. Filled with nothing but tears and sniffles. Emily had moved from the floor when she began sobbing, into Y/n's lap. Her face buried into their neck as they shushed her to asleep.

Y/n had tucked her back into bed and continued to work on the designs. Pulling out the old sketches from their scrapped line. Staring over each outfit that was designed after their love.

The mannequins were in the studio, locked in a specific room. They questioned if now was the right time to bring them all back out. If it was, they knew it was ready to be launched, giving them more time on the line that sat unfinished.

They picked up their phone, "Jackie? I need you and Joana to bring me Project L.E.P. The key is in my desk, bottom left drawer, hidden under her picture, tied with a red ribbon. It's hard to miss, the ribbon has L.E.P in gold on the end."

"Are we launching it?!" The assistant grew overly excited. "Oh! Y/n you have no idea how wonderful this is!"

"Is that Y/n?" The other assistant, Joana came into the room.

Y/n assumed Jackie nodded, "yes! They want us to bring L.E.P to their home."

"They're launching it? But then that would mean Em- Oh my God!" The phone was snatched and it was Joana now. "Did you guys talk?! I want to know everything! How did you lay it down?!"

"Joana." Y/n simply cut the assistant from bombarding with questions. "When I see you, I will answer your questions. I need that line, bring the truck with them all. We're going to review them."

"Yes boss!" They both said before hanging up. Y/n knew they were geeking out in the studio at this point.

They assumed it would be at least half an hour before the two got there. Giving enough time to finally take a well needed break and eat something.

While they warmed up the breakfast, Emily had stirred awake. She laid in the bed, taking in the familiar smell of Y/n's shampoo on the pillows. She began to think over everything they had said.

They said it was unfortunate that they couldn't kick her out even if they wanted to. What did that truly mean?

Emily realized, they've already gone through the hardest conversation, this one would be nothing. She swung the covers over and began to look for Y/n. Checking the study first.

Her curiosity for the better of her. She came close to the desk, looking over the designs. There were a few that had yet to be finished, and then there was one in red that really caught her eye. She picked it up, scanning over the paper and realizing she's seen it before. On the bottom had L.E.P written in gold. Emily couldn't place where she's seen it, but she knew for a fact she had.

Placing it down, she left to the kitchen next. Finding Y/n dancing slightly to their own tune. She watched as they prepared their food before acknowledging her entrance.

"Would you like yours as well? I can heat it up?" They offered without even looking over before grabbing the second meal. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good...I do have a question though," she came in closer. Leaning against the counter while staying out the way. Y/n looked over, showing she had their attention. "When you said..."

"I meant it." They knew her thoughts better than anyone. Emily swore in another life they were either a profiler, or a mind reader. "If you want to stay, I'm not going to stop you. If you want to leave, I will drive you. I'm here because you needed me, and I think....apart of me still needed you. If I wanted to be over you, I would've been. I know I would've been. I would've cleaned out everything that ties to you, but I didn't."

"When we ended...I thought that everything was going to go to shit. My career was caught in a fire, my relationship was ending, and I began to spiral. I began to just accept that this was how I was going out. Would never be a big fashion designer, never have a love life, nothing to live for....but I thought of it as letting you win without a fight. And that wasn't how I wanted you to win."

"I don't deserve you," she had whispered. Her head tilting and her silver waves fell to the side.

It was the first time Y/n had actually taken her in entirely. How she aged and yet was still the most beautiful woman they had ever come across. It made them want to just kiss her and tell her that she was welcomed home always.

"And yet...you have me." They sighed, hand coming to cup her cheek. "And maybe thats why I've been so confusing. Because I'm supposed to be mad at you, I really really want to..but anytime I try to, this nasty taste fills my mouth. Like I don't mean anything bad I try and say. And I don't."

"Y/n..." she furrowed her brows. This was more confessing than she had expected. "You don't have to tell me anything-"

"Damn it Emily," they groaned. "I'm not telling you this because I think you need it, I'm telling yo this because I need it. I'm being selfish. I'm loosing my shit with you just standing here. Do you know how easy it is for you to walk right back into my life? When I said I was going to love you forever, I meant it. I meant it with everything then. And I'm going to mean it with everything now." They had their own tears now. Finally caving into the painful feeling of being in love.

Emily was stunned, but she wasn't going to miss her second chance. She pulled Y/n in by the pockets of their sweats, standing on her tip-toes to meet their lips in a passionate kiss.

They both felt airy as they got lost in the feeling of home. Holding each other so impossibly close that it was undeniable they were staying together.

Once they pulled apart they just stared at the other. Both trying to find some answer to what they were feeling. Was there anything to say now?

Y/n came out the trance first, a smile gracing their lips. "Why don't we eat? Jackie and Joana are gonna be here soon and will probably want to question us."

"What are they bringing you?" She held Y/n there for a little longer. Enjoying the closeness and safeness. "Fabrics?"

"Project L.E.P." Was all they answered before heating up the other box of food. "I think I'll release it before the one I'm working on now."

Emily watched them move, "what does the L.E.P mean?"

Y/n was quick to shrug. "It's just the name that Jackie and Joana gave it." They dismissed the topic. Eyes trained to the microwave as it counted down the minute. But the small smirk they held told her they knew exactly what it meant. "I got you your usual."

They handed over the box and the two prepped before heading to the couch. Sitting knee to knee as they ate and watched whatever was on.

It was an enjoyable moment, and one Y/n would remember. And that's when the next line came to them. They tried to be subtle to finish up their food before rushing into the study. They grabbed a sticky note, it was red, and they scribbled on it before slapping it against the window.

Soon designs started to be taped up to the windows. The evening sun peaking through the papers. The ideas began to flow and make sense again. They felt relieved at the feeling.

The front door had opened, and the two assistance were quickly to make their presences known.

"Oh my! Y/n! You dog!" Jackie's voice filled the entire apartment at the sight of Emily. Her head snapped to Joana. "This is so not real!"

Y/n forgot how young her assistance were compared to them. They walked out shaking their head. "How many mannequins did you bring?"

"We figured you still had six here, we actually know you do because you never returned them. So we brought the other six. Then each piece is stored in its own bag and box." They stood tall and in line. "We just need to grab everything."

"Well let's get to it. Six mannequins and twelve boxes are not getting up here that easily. Em, you'll stay up here and make the trips from the elevator back. Joana you'll be on elevator duty. Jackie you're unloading and I'll carry everything to the elevator."

It was the perfect team work. And within no time they had everything upstairs and the three were working on setting them up facing the window. Emily, having no hand in sewing or fashion just watched the three move in harmony.

Joana and Jackie worked to just get the outfits on the mannequins as Y/n did touch ups. They worked until the night fell. And it was perfect.

"Y/n you've outdone yourself still. Are we really ready to release project L.E.P?" Joana walked around the designs and took in every seeming detail. "Truly a genius."

Y/n had a glimmer of pride in their eyes. "Yeah. I think it's time." They only broke away to look at Emily who sat on the couch. "What do you think?"

She had dropped her gaze to look at the twelve outfits. "They're absolutely beautiful. They have been since when you first had them all laid out." She stood to come next to them. "Are you ready to release them?"

Y/n inhaled with a smile, exhaling their worries. "Yeah." They grabbed Emily's hand. "I am ready." They were confident.

"So...what are you gonna call it?" Emily went closer to examine the detail as well. The room was silent as everyone thought of something.

Jackie hummed, "mmm what if we keep L.E.P?" She threw out. "It holds meaning, it's cute, it's secretive, secretive is sexy."

"L.E.P in gold writing, your writing. We tease it with close up pictures first. Then we host a big launch party and have them all come out on a runway." Joana began to plan everything out. Already seeing a vision.

"But what is L.E.P?" Emily butted in. Getting silence and all eyes on Y/n, who was looking down to Emily.

"Loving Emily Prentiss," they only could smile even kinder at the reveal. "It'll be the start of a collection. The E.P collection. It's bright, it's new, it's warm and giving. That's how it'll start."

The doorbell had rang. "That must be your team. You two are dismissed. Thank you for the help today. Start your magic and fill me in in the morning. Love you both," they bowed their head. Watching as the two assistants began to pack up.

"Um, Y/n? I have nothing to wear?" Emily glanced down at the big t-shirt and sleep shorts.

"Your outfit was laid out on the bed before we even started touch ups. You go change and I'll greet everyone." Y/n shooed as they moved to the door. Opening and being greeted first with Dave.

"How is she?" He placed a kiss to their cheek before leading everyone in. They all seemed worried at first.

"She's better today. And that's what matters." They hummed. Moving towards the kitchen to begin cooking for everyone.

Stopping at the instant gasp and whispers. The team had seen the designs lined up. "Wait..your the Y/n? Like designer Y/n?" Penelope stared in awe at the outfits.

"Guilty. That's the next line. I guess a sneak peak." They shrugged, smiling as Dave began to prep to help cook. "You can get close, everything is set in stone at this point."

Just then Emily had walked out in a one-of-one dress. Y/n had designed it and worked the first night to make it for her. Telling themselves that it was either a goodbye gift or a welcome home gift.

She looked stunning, and Y/n could take their eyes off of her. Their best model walked into and began to get wine glasses down.

"Emily, you never mentioned Y/n was a fashion designer?!" Penelope was still caught on the fact. Earning a laugh from Y/n.

"Ouch, four years and almost married and you didn't tell them about my job?" They came near Emily, crouching next to her to get out some seasonings.

Emily looked down to them, taking in the moment of being taller for once. "She would've flipped out. I also figured she would've down a background check on you without my knowing." Both glancing to the bubbly woman.

"I...I didn't because I wanted to respect her boundaries." She got out, looking to everyone else who seemed to have knowing looks. "Don't tell me..."

"We all...kinda knew." Tara broke the news, hugging the friend as the look of betrayal washed over her.

Y/n had shrugged from their spot. "I had no part in this." They cleared their name.

That night the team had laughed, eaten, drank a few bottles of wines, and enjoyed a nice round of desserts.

A few months has passed and Emily and Y/n began to work things out. She appreciated Y/n's efforts as well even with all the press and media.

There had been an article that really stood out.

And why did you name it L.E.P?

Well....when I had made it I was with this amazing woman. Each piece was meant to represent a moment of our relationship.

And why are you just now releasing it?

We had honestly gotten into a fight a month or so before our wedding. We ended up splitting and I just couldn't come to scrap it. So I locked it into a room until now.

And what made you choose now?

Because she needed me and I realized I would always need her. And this is my gift to her. A token of my love with what I was meant to be doing. Fashion. And what better way than to express love through fashion?

Emily had came over and smothered Y/n with all the love she could after reading that. It made her look at the entire line differently and hold it near to her heart just as well.

They laid next to each other in bed, just staring and having a wordless conversation. But Emily could see it written on Y/n's face. They loved her. And that made her see everything worth fighting for.

"I love you." She had whispered before realizing.

Y/n smiled. "I know." They switched to a cocky smile. Pulling her closer by the waist and bending her just slightly back. "And I love you too. Always will."

They shared one of their most passionate kisses that night. It sparked a new sense of love. Mature, mannered, and workable. As long as they had each other, it would always be workable.

#reader insert #fanfic #criminal minds #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #x y/n #criminal minds evolution

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minty-mumbles · 1 year ago

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Linked Universe Survey 2023

The long awaited results of the survey. Sorry it took me forever, making graphs is hard.

There were 452 responses to the survey as a whole, which is almost double what we got last year, so thank you to everyone who participated!

If you want to see the raw data, you can find that here. I had thoughts about the data, but compiling that into another post would be too much of a hassle. Feel free to send me asks about it though!

The rest of the post will be under a read more as it it large

Demographics

Other: Demigirl (4), Transmasc (3), Grey genderfluid, Unlabeled, Demiboy, Demiagender

Other: Omnisexual (4), Poly (2), Trixic, Abroromantic or Bellusromantic, Demisexual

General Questions

Other: Quotev, Discord, their own google docs

Other: Discord, Variations of "I haven't posted yet, but I pan to" and "I haven't posted my fics in ages",

Other: Wattpad, Deviantart, Discord

Other: Crochet dolls, Custom dolls, Roleplay blogs (2), Fan translations, Headcanons (2), Piano music

The purple section in the “Warriors vs Warrior” chart is supposed to read “Warrior.” I made a typo.

Favorites and Least Favorites

Selected Free Response Answers

im sorry warriors i just can't play your game (it is very very hard. i am stuck very early on in the game)

I love cats meow meow meow

was extremely tempted to put twilight for least favorite. unfortunately he is my favorite to write from the perspective of (he has taken over most of my wips. help) and that probably counts for something. WILD on the other hand. hooo boy how the hell do i characterize this gargoyle. why is he Like That. least favorite it is

Twiddy

very good fandom to be in :) everybody is very nice

It's a straight up crime that Wars lost the aesthetics poll so quickly. He has such a peak Link design with the best colors. Ugh I'm getting wistful.

FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS. FROGS.

I will fight Hylia herself and the next person who implies Twi can't handle spice. If we're going to lean into him being southern/Midwestern, which is an alright stero type for our rancher, please keep in mind the culture you're basing him off. The south and midwest can handle their spice, I assure you. Have you ever had authentic Louisiana gumbo? It will melt you tongue off. Or some good old fashion spicy fried chicken? I promise the real stuff has quite a kick. (In all seriousness, though. It's more important that you're having fun. And even I can admit the idea of Twi being an Ordonian who can't handle his spice is more than a little funny.)

I am an OoT Link edgelord and have been since early 2017. So, in September of that year, when an artist by the name of jojo56830 puts out a lineup of nine different Links and the Hero of Time is there – the oldest, no eye, Hero’s Shade armor? I saw that one sketch and just thought “oh this is gonna be bad.” Yeah of course he has the coolest design. By the way, it’s only a matter of time until Fierce Deity shows up in the comic and I have reason to believe it could be this current Dawn arc. Dawn … Dawn of a New Day … and who brought about the Dawn of a New Day? Fierce Deity. Twilight is recovering but still injured and what will happen if he falls again? Fierce Deity is coming and we need to be prepared. In this essay I will—

Remember that time when someone put the whole script of the bee movie in here? I’m not that dedicated, and I don’t have that time, but let us remember and hope someone else does it again this time. Cause someone is bound too. We’re all crazy enough to do it. Alright, love you and stay hydrated pls!

Hi! I joined this fandom really recent but i’ve always seen LU stuff on pinterest and elsewhere. Only recently have i actually took the time to understand the fandom and get back into LOZ stuff and i adore the characters and story! The more and more fanart, fanfics, and comics i see about the different Links the more i love them all. It’s such a pain to pick just one i like or one i don’t like because they’re all so unique. I love this fandom and hope to get more involved!! Have a wonderful rest of your day :]

Epona is an underrated queen

your mom

I really don't get why Zelda is called Artemis. Athena makes more sense???? It perplexes me

Anyone seeing this should check out Breanna’s E!Wild AU

Something something queer every Link into oblivion!

#linked universe #lu survey 2023 #lu wild #lu twilight #lu time #lu warriors #lu legend #lu wind #lu hyrule #lu four #lu sky

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melodic-haze · 2 months ago

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☆ — SONG TITLE: I know what you tell your friends (it's casual)

☆ — PAIRING: mermaid!Kokomi x artist!Reader

☆ — TYPE: SFW, bittersweet angst? I honest to god don't know

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: POTENTIALLY OOC for the purpose of the character......mostly, light depictions of blood, drowning

☆ — NOTES: HI ALL I DIED BUT WHO'S SHOCKED LMAO 😜😜 this is for @edgeray's Halloween event, though it's a bit late bc I was ill at the last week of it and I'm lazy😭 GO CHECK OUT EVERYONE ELSE'S STUFF HOLY HELL. Also, my interp of a mermaid is moreso leaning towards what people nowadays THINK sirens are. I js couldn't bear to USE 'siren' bc of how they're acc supposed to be like. Winged creatures, not fish people

☆ — WORD COUNT: 2,801 words

It was often said that one must not go into the beach all alone.

Naturally, people would often tell you of sensible reasons such as possibly having your fragile items like your phone being dropped into the sand or, god forbid, the water or losing said belongings if you were to ever leave them somehow.

However, the most notably repetitive reasoning came out to be the possibility of being missing.. or ‘taken by the sea’, as everyone else would say.

It was a lot easier to just say that someone was lost or missing, but there was a certain reason why most have opted to disregard practicality for the sake of glamorisation—where you live, there has been a concerning surplus of missing persons cases with their last-seen location all being the beach, the seaside, the shore, all the same thing. And no matter how much the police had tried to investigate it (and it’s crazy that they actually did try, though that might be due to government concern), they found nothing conclusive about how the victims disappeared.

Perhaps it was because of the tides washing any sort of evidence away, though such an assumption led to the cases all collectively being dismissed as a suicide because.. well, really, they had to put some sort of conclusion to the case when they couldn’t really find any other possible outcomes without it sounding like more of a conspiracy than it already was.

(Fat lot that did anyway, because you can’t even put nightwatch on post there without them getting taken too.)

..So to a normal person, being at the beach all alone with nothing but a phone and a sketchbook in hand in the middle of the night would equate to one of the dumbest things you can do out here.

It wasn’t like you didn’t care about what would happen to you, or that you were experiencing that particular phase where you went against what was advised of you just because you wanted to be cool or popular or something (you weren’t a child, you were a grown adult with a life, for god’s sake), but oftentimes people like you all had one common flaw: artists were all dedicated to their craft, suffocatingly so.

And you were no exception, even if it had been too long since you drew with any sort of creative inspiration.

You remember when you walked back from god knows where and witnessing the way the moonlight hit the water, its gentle glow reflecting on the tide like fluid glass.

You remember that sweet dulcet tone stopping you in your tracks in the midst of your misery once your headphones lost power, the singing voice holding a certain alluring cadence that rooted you to the spot.

You remember the sight of dark crimson on shimmering claws and scales of blue, pink and purple, the palette much too distinct to be considered ‘natural’.

You remember the brief contact of eyes between your own and a set of glowing orbs that were no less striking than the tail that flapped behind the entity once it turned to have its body be entirely consumed by the ocean’s depths.

As an artist, you knew you had to immortalise the vision seared into your brain. And so, the day after that fateful encounter and consecutive days after that, you visited the beach at the exact time you remembered from before, picked up a pencil and opened your sketchbook to sketch like a madman possessed.

But of course as time passed, so did the freshness of your memory and your recollection of the details that had you entranced in the moment. The background itself? You had no problem. The issue was the oceanic figure; what details were you missing? What was its scale pattern? Was the red meant to mesh with the purple? What was it doing there?

Eventually you convinced yourself that maybe you were seeing things, and the messy scribbles of faint recollections were erased and drawn over with lines that connected the ever-flowing sea. Even when artists were seen as delusional, prone to confuse one thing with another—perhaps that thing was just a trick of the light, or maybe you’re starting to go insane, whichever tickled your fancy—you knew where to stop and come back to reality.

..Still doesn’t mean you had to keep coming back to the spot at the same time over and over again but alas, you couldn’t help it when you woke up at the dead of night just for your legs to lead you to the exact same spot you remember being at that very night.

Despite the constant warnings against the act of going to the beach all by yourself, nothing had happened to you or interrupted your creative flow despite being completely alone so the nights you spent on that exact spot were often peaceful, if a bit devoid of life. That was fine for you though, it meant less distractions from finally finishing this piece and moving on with your--

(You feel warm breath against your skin before you hear--)

“What are you doing?”

You startle, the pencil losing its gentle stability and creating an atrocious line across the page, and for a moment the irritation actually takes over any form of self-preservation you have.

So you start to complain, “I was drawing until you scared me—” then you turn to look at her, "—and made me ruin my own--"

...

Shimmering blue.

"..work."

Your speech fell flat the minute your gaze clocked onto those glaringly familiar set of eyes that pulled you in as if it were the ocean's depths itself. Its highlights were some sort of pearly pink, a soft contrast to the deep dark unknown.

And no pupils.

Maybe a trick of the light again, maybe you're hallucinating. Though you guessed even some of the best painters were kinda crazy back then.

"I apologise for disturbing you but, ah.. I don't suppose you can stop staring now?" And the mystery woman giggles lightly, her hand—a normal human hand, although her nails were manicured sharp and painted a glittering blue—moving to hover over her mouth as if to cover it politely, "I don't think I have anything of interest on my person to give you for.. emotional compensation?"

You blink, and you are drawn back to reality, "Physical, actually. You ruined my work."

"Even worse."

"You don't seem all that apologetic."

"But I am... Can't you tell?"

"It's dark, and our only light source right now are some busted tungsen street lamps." You sighed, putting your sketchbook and pencil down beside you, "Whatever, did you need something? No one's supposed to be out at the beach this late."

"Why not?"

"..Are you a tourist? Actually, no, if you were a tourist, you'd have to be real ignorant to not know... Though I've never actually seen you before."

You weren't sure if you lied just now or not. In fact, you're pretty sure you told the truth, but...

You see her stare at you, and you're unsure of what to do with the quiet.. until she shrugs, "I've been curious of what you were doing all alone at night. No one else seems to come outside."

"Don't you think that's any sort of indication to maybe mind your own business?"

"Forgive my curiosity."

You almost do, and you know not of why.

(Her gentle voice, a soothing lullaby, putting your safety to sleep.)

Instead, you relent, "People have gone missing after giving this place a visit all alone in the dead of night. Nobody really wants to die, so mornings and afternoons are when the people crowd here."

And you tear your gaze away from the stranger to look at the ever-expanding sea, "Come midnight, you won't see a single soul standing on the sand."

"But you're here," she says. "Why?"

"If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy."

"I don't think I will."

"I doubt that—I don't even know your name."

"Kokomi."

You look back at her, brows raised slightly, "What?"

"My name is Kokomi. Yours?"

...

You tell her your name and state your purpose for coming here every single night. And from then on, the two of you talk until the sun comes up, sketchbook forgotten.

She asks you if you're going to come back now that your drawing's been ruined. You tell her that you don't know, considering your current lack of purpose, but then she says that she'll sit with you as you recreate your ruined art as if that's going to make up for the ruined days—weeks, even—of meticulously-sketched pencil art.

..For some reason, you were compelled to agree.

(Maybe it was the voice, maybe it was the eyes.)

(Maybe it was the feeling of unsettling familiarity that drew you in, or that strange feeling of fight-or-flight.)

And so you continue to go down to the beach at night despite everyone's constant warnings, putting pencil to a new page in your sketchbook after having taken out and thrown away your previous attempt. Though even then, while there are still all sorts of warnings, people have noticed that there have been less and less people going missing from the shore. Can't help but think 'no wonder', considering how you haven't been killed or kidnapped after continuously coming here for so long.

Either way, nothing much has changed in your schedule.. save for a brand new companion appearing at night, her pink hair flowing behind you before going to sit beside you and observe.

Sometimes the two of you sit in comfortable silence, other times one of you talks of whatever comes to mind and it turns into some sort of winding discussion that ends with your sketchbook completely forgotten until you need to leave.

"..If you have something to say, you may as well spit it out."

"Hm?"

"I can feel your eyes burning holes into my skull. You may as well."

"Ah, I hadn't realised that I was staring so hard!" You feel her body draw back from originally leaning onto you and you suppress the urge to pull her back next to you as she continues, "I'm just wondering... Was no one particularly interested in coming outside with you?"

You put your pencil down on the page and look at her with a raised brow, "Are you calling me lonely?"

"No? ..Well, perhaps a little, I admit. I don't ever see you outside with anyone else."

"Oh, so you've been watching me. A bit creepy, no?"

She shook her head, "The observation merely struck me just now. I haven't seen you with anyone else at night, apart from me."

Instead of giving the curious girl an answer, you look down on the pencilled page. There wasn't much that you could really say beyond the fact that everyone else was asleep at this time.. and...

"I like being alone at the end of the day."

"Mmm. Me too."

"..That so."

No one points out the fact that neither of you are alone right now.

Nothing else is said, and you continue on sketching.

Oftentimes, that's what usually happens.

And it's.. nice, being able to just sit there with soothing company—she isn't overwhelming, nor is she insufferably awkward or borderline unbearable. She was like a smooth current, her voice akin to the sound of gentle water and her touch against your skin as she leaned into you cool and refreshing.

Not like you'd admit it.

(You wouldn't because saying that to a stranger's face is, quite frankly, really lame.. though you couldn't help but touch upon the water's detailing a lot more delicately in your sketches.)

(Or think about drawing her as your muse under the moonlight instead.)

One certain topic she was particularly interested in was the iridescent visage you witnessed all those nights ago—anyone would be, of course, in an 'entertaining-the-schizo' sort of way, not.. not her way. Not with genuine curiosity laced with something much more hidden, inquisitive.

"What would you do if that thing came back?"

"Like, to do what?"

"Who knows." Kokomi wore a soft, jesting smile, "Eat you, perhaps?"

"Would you be there with me?"

"Let's start with a 'no'."

"Probably sit there."

"Really?"

As you muse on the question, you take the cap off your water bottle, "May as well die finishing this rather than live with it gnawing on my mind."

"You have no self-preservation, do you?"

"Would it be edgy if I said it was overrated?"

"Perhaps," she shrugged, letting her hair shift and cascade from her shoulders and her arms down to her back. "What would you do if I was there, then?"

You took a sip, "..Say thank you, maybe."

"Oh? Why?"

"For keeping me company? I guess? Dunno, I just feel like I should thank you if I died on this beach with you."

You turn to look at her, and before you could say anything more, you notice the look on her face; it's indecipherable, blank, as if she were sizing you up and profiling you within her mind palace.. but what for?

Her eyes are unsettling—a touch of hunger glimmers in the ocean depths—as they stare at you (and has she ever even blinked once?) but then the moment you blink, her light expression is back as if it was never taken off.

"Let's hope that neither of us die, haha."

"Right..."

You also can't help but notice the way that you are reminded of said visage whenever you look at her, especially when she's by the water.

"Join me?"

"Why should I?"

"Perhaps you need a change of pace," she says as she takes off her lavender jacket and leaves her slippers off the sand. "I get the feeling, but you've been concentrating on your work for a while now."

"I don't swim."

"Don't? Or can't? I can teach you."

"Why?"

"Perhaps being in the water may help you gain a bit more perspective with your art."

"But I only need one perspective. Plus the water would be cold."

Kokomi stares at you with a slightly tilted head, and you can't help but notice her unusual eyes softly glowing but you do nothing but dismiss it, and then ends up shrugging, "Alright. I won't force you, of course. Just..."

She turns her head, "You never know, maybe getting into the water will turn out to be your final step."

..And as she walks off into the ocean, you don't even notice yourself taking off your shoes and chasing her after a beat until--

"Wait!"

She turns around, an eyebrow raised and a gentle half smile on her lips, "Yes?"

You stop just short of her, "Fine, I'll.. I'll go. With you. But you're not letting me go. I know how to swim but it's dark. So."

"Of course not," she reassures you, "I sought you out, after all."

"Huh?"

You don't get a chance to react, not when she takes your hand in hers and leads you to the water.

You don't get a chance to react, not when the both of you submerge yourselves and you are thrown back to that very night at the sight of clustered scales on pale skin.

..Or maybe you can't react at all, not when water starts clogging up your lungs and your consciousness sung to sleep.

...

You woke up coughing your lungs out, sore and very much still full of saltwater.

You woke up alone on the shore, probably for the first time since Kokomi had decided to come up and startle you enough to ruin your focus.

And you got up and ran.

You don't tell anyone, because the only person who would have ever believed you turned out to be someone you wish you hallucinated.

(Never felt so lonely like this in so long, like you don't have a purpose--)

You don't visit the beach for a while. And when you do, you wish you hadn't.

Not when you see a crumpled piece of paper—your scrapped mistake—on the spot the both of you had always occupied at night.

Not when you see the scribbled-out 'thank you' on the back of the page.

Not when you spot that same visage at night all over again, yet with the tainted memory of your near-death and of the brief company that you kept.

And certainly not when she looked at you with those shimmering blue eyes, her claws clear of any sort of metallic red, before she looked away and disappeared into the ocean depths.

(Though you end up finishing what could have been your magnum opus forged from looking at death in the eye all those many nights, you voluntarily put a line across the page and close your sketchbook.)

(You don't end up opening it anymore, not when you feel disjointed.)

(Incomplete.)

#hazy songs!#hazy features!#the ending sucks i gave up on it i fear :(#SIGH did anyone get my casual ref though i beg #sangonomiya kokomi #kokomi x reader #genshin kokomi x reader #sangonomiya kokomi x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin women x reader #genshin women imagines

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levemetal · 5 days ago

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Can I ask about the dvawtk au wqw/mqf/sj title from the WIP tag game? That one looks so intriguing👀

Omg I am SO happy you asked!!

It's a dvawtk au in the sense that characters obtain parts of pidw or svsss and are tasked to improve the plot- this time with more the very loose way it is in dvawtk rather than the more restrictive actually present system in svsss. It is also probaaaably a crack AU.

Basically one day disciple Wqw wakes up to the massive book that is pidw on his lap with the ominous message to fix the plot. So, since he is good friends with disciple Mqf here, naturally he goes straight to him. Mqf received svsss with the same task. So, together they pour over the two volumes as best as they can and decide that:

A) SJ gets replaced by a stranger in Svsss during a qi deviation when they are already peak lords for a while

B) Binghe is a nuclear bomb

C) They must somehow keep SJ from abusing his disciples or improve his situation in general

With this in mind, they enter shenanigans in order to get closer to SJ, whom the both of them were quite neutral to up until now. They enbark on quite the adventure to get Yqy & Sj to reconcile for example. A lot of their attempts backfire before they eventually, somehow, endear themselves to SJ. Sj is confused but eventually allows it and grows fond of the two idiots trying REALLY hard to improve his life now matter how much the universe seems to be against it.

Years later, while SJ and Lqg bicker about Binghe, Wqw swoops in and nabs Binghe. (Knowing how to recognize a cursed sword would do him some good, Mqf and him figured)

The Binghe here however is actually Bingge, who had reset his own timeline, and he is actually kinda pissed because he wanted to get to SQQ's peak, thank you very much!! How is he supposed to make his shizun proud now??? So cue Bingge running away to Qjp on a regular basis trying to get SJ to be proud of him and SJ at this point is more exasperated than angry. It has become a weekly occurrence that he has to kick this brat back to Wan Jian, what the hell has his life come to. And then there's his two shidis checking in every few days! Honestly.

SJ technically remembers the last timeline, although only as horrible nightmares he can never seem to remember. This plus combined with the fact he is now getting no sleep or rest maaaaybe makes him a tad suicidal. No matter, just means his two friends will get clingier.

None of the 3 is sure when exactly they became a romantic polycule but here they are now. It probably started the day SJ snapped back at other peak lords slandering Wqw and Mqf tbh. It ends up being very beneficial for the 3 of them in the long run. (Even if they have to talk out a lot of things with SJ first and give him time due to well. Sj typical trauma) SJ now has two warm weighted blankets. Mqf is overworking himself less. Wqw is being more careful in the forge lest his boyfriends slaughter him metaphorically. Yes the disciples all knew this was happening before these idiots.

SJ has been probably starting to roll off the Bingge stuff onto Ming Fan too. So congrats Ming Fan on your future half demon husband. Ning Yingying is laughing at you as we speak.

Bingge probably still takes a tumble to the abyss, not because he was pushed, but because he lost his footing and stumbled in or got tossed in by whoever was attacking the IAC.

Bonus: Mbj got a copy of svsss about the chapters concerning him and his spy which makes him drop all his plans and instead debark on a dating sim experience as he should <3 OG!Sqh will be so confused but less oblivious than Airplane was. They can stay out of the insanity, as a treat :3

Bonus bonus: Some rough sketches of the dreadful polycule :3

#pidw dvawtk au #wip game #shen jiu #mu qingfang #wei qingwei #svsss au #mxtx svsss #thank youuu for the question this is the first I got and I was so excited #hopefully I didn't ramble too much #this has been on my mind for a while #weimujiu #muweijiu #idk lmfao #mujiu and sj rareships are gonna be my legacy and i regret nothing #i have accepted my fate

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zyzix · 2 years ago

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There's this aspect of Joshua Kiryu's character arc that I'm sort of flabbergasted to realize might be basically un-analyzed these past 15 or so years. I still kind of expect someone will pop up and point to something they've already written, but i'll talk about it anyway. This might also create some analysis ideas for NEO?? Ideally, anyway.

Essentially, I think it's really likely that Joshua misunderstood way more about his situation with Hanekoma, Minamimoto, and Neku than people tend to think. Not only that, but the idea that he had these misunderstandings kind of colors his relationship with Hanekoma. It also adds to him and Neku being foils. Where do I even begin.

I guess just with this scene that always made me go "hm, that's weird." Joshua: Think he's got a thing for you, Neku? Neku: What!? How the hell do you figure that? Joshua: Oh, please! The way he follows you around? Neku: That's just because I'm a Player. Joshua: I don't see him chasing after the other Players. Neku: (He's right… So why me?) Joshua: …Or is it my fault? Neku: (What? That's right… He might be tied in with the Reapers.)

So, what's so weird about this? Am I actually proposing that Joshua really thought Minamimoto was following Neku when he asked this? YES. I AM. That might sound nonsensical, and that's because it kind of is! But there's a reason for that.

When you know what happened in the Udagawa back alley a week and some change prior to that scene, it's reasonable to ask "why would Joshua think a Reaper was after some random RG guy?" Minamimoto came at him with a gun! But then why did Joshua even ask Neku if Minamimoto was following him? If he's trying to trick Neku into thinking this, he wouldn't immediately propose the truth afterwards. Maybe he's trying to make Neku distrust him as he does earlier (Neku scanning him, general sketch behavior perhaps) but not only is that redundant, it still doesn't answer why he asked about Neku in the first place.

So what happens if we take Joshua at face value here? Are we to assume Joshua thought he was the target at Udagawa, but Neku is the target now? I have no idea what the thought process would be behind that. Are we to assume that Joshua thought Neku was the target the whole time?? That still seems illogical, but maybe instead of asking why Neku would be the target, we should shift our focus and ask "why would Joshua think he isn't the target?"

I find that a lot easier to answer because we have Hanekoma. And Joshua thought he did too, basically.

We know from Secret Report 9 that the only person who should know Joshua's RG identity here is Mr. H.

SR 9: Minamimoto knows the Composer's RG identity (secret even to the Conductor), and has chased him to the Realground. The Fallen Angel may also have supplied him with this information.

Even in this report, it's proposed (by Hanekoma's misdirection) that someone else, some other Angel perhaps, could know Joshua's identity. We know that there isn't another Angel who told Minamimoto this information though. It was just Hanekoma. The only person in the story for Joshua to suspect is Mr. H.

Yet he doesn't. Or, I don't believe he does anyway. Let's take a look at our options.

Why does Joshua not seem to be wondering who sold him out? We have two branching options to start with: "He already knows who did it" and "he doesn't realize he's been sold out."

Lots of people assume Joshua already knows Hanekoma revealed his identity to Minamimoto. Because like… how else would he have known? Literally what else is Joshua supposed to think after being shot at? I mean, I've been explaining what else Joshua could have thought, but the point is it's a fair assumption. The only issue is that Joshua doesn't behave like he knows Mr. H betrayed him until Week 2 Day 5.

That is a long delay between then and when Joshua should have first known this information (before the story even starts.) I don't know when definitively Joshua put it together, but W2D5 is the first time we can say we KNOW he knows. And it really might have been that moment, because what happens right afterwards?

Well, Neku and him get attacked by Beat and Joshua learns about Kitaniji's "special op." But what happens right after THAT?

Joshua tells Neku that Hanekoma is CAT. An eye for an eye, I guess.

Part of the idea that Joshua did know Mr. H betrayed him from the start is that maybe Joshua was just putting up with that fact. That maybe Hanekoma was too useful, and couldn't do more harm anyway. Or that Joshua really didn't have any other options. I can understand why people think that, but I don't think we can bet on any of those. There's no reason for Joshua to think Hanekoma couldn't do way more harm than just tattling on him, especially as the week goes on and Taboo Noise crop up. Also, while it's impossible to prove one way or the other, there's no reason to think Joshua couldn't have built his game plan sans Hanekoma from the start if he thought he'd betrayed him. All of this assuming that Joshua gives a shit about what Mr. H did, admittedly.

On the other hand, if we posit that Joshua found out later about Mr. H, and that he'd give a shit about that, there should be some kind of change in his behavior towards him. This seems a little hard to to prove because that scene on W2D5 is the last time we see them interact (or even see Mr. H at all) until the ending of the game. That said, it's probably very telling that in TWEWY Mr. H is Joshua's sole confidant, and in NEO Mr. H has no idea what's going on with Joshua at all. I find that very interesting, but we're gonna put a pin in that for later.

Aaaaaaaaaall of that's to say that I don't think it's very likely that Joshua knew Hanekoma told Minamimoto his identity from the start. He shares information with Mr. H too easily for me to think that's the case. What's our next option?

It's possible that Joshua believed he already knew who told Minamimoto, but he was mistaken. However, I said before that there isn't any other suspect in the story and I don't think we can give Joshua another suspect to focus on without just making stuff up. Haz and Coco come to mind as people who might be able to share Joshua's identity, but we can't escape the fact that neither of them even existed at the time Joshua's main character arc was written. We would probably also have to invent some connection they'd have to this particular Game despite them being absent. I think this option is less likely than Joshua knowing about Mr. H the whole time, so I'm striking it off.

What we have left is the "Joshua didn't know he'd been sold out" option. Aside from what I've been arguing, the only other option is "Joshua thought Minamimoto found out on his own somehow." There's no solid reason for Joshua to think this, but it's possible he did anyway. The only reason I think this is less likely than the possibility that he didn't realize Minamimoto was after him is because of how Joshua talked to Neku back there. We have evidence that Joshua might have thought Minamimoto was after someone else; we don't have evidence that Joshua might have thought Minamimoto was able to discover his identity on his own. That said, after the conversation Josh had with Neku W2D2 it's possible his assumption shifted from one to the other as he was trying to figure things out.

So yeah, I believe it's most likely that Joshua didn't realize he'd been sold out at all because that would require him to think Hanekoma would do that to him. Because of that, he believed for more than a week that Neku was Minamimoto's target when they were all in the RG.

You might think that this idea would run into a lot of inconsistencies but I've found it to be shockingly coherent. (Honestly the whole background plot of this game is shockingly coherent for how overt it's themes are. I guess that's beside the point.) Like, let's look at the scene in Udagawa.

It starts with Neku looking up at the tag mural. Then Joshua runs up with a gun from Neku's left. It appears as if Joshua may have been looking behind him. Then Joshua fires in Neku's direction. Neku falls to the ground, but he is unhurt. Then Minamimoto is revealed to be behind Neku with a gun. He is clutching his shoulder. Minamimoto raises his gun, and Neku shields himself. Then several shots are fired towards Joshua. Joshua stops the bullets with his powers, and silently threatens to shoot Minamimoto again. Minamimoto runs off, and Joshua shoots Neku while he is looking after him.

If Joshua already believes that his identity is safe, none of that would clearly contradict that idea to him! Why did Josh think Minamimoto shot at him? Because Joshua already shot Minamimoto. Why was Joshua running if he didn't think Minamimoto was chasing him? To get to his target before the Reaper.

Conversely, why would Joshua be running from Minamimoto if bullets aren't going to hit him?

To us it's obvious that Minamimoto was chasing Joshua and tried to cut him off at the other end of the alley. But to Joshua at the time, he thought Minamimoto was going for the guy in between them.

This does raise some other questions, but there's enough of a case here that I think it's worth speculating off of. Did Joshua even have a theory as to why Minamimoto would be after someone in the RG? Maybe he thought Kitaniji sent one of his Reapers after his potential proxy. Why would it matter to Joshua if Minamimoto killed Neku instead of him if he needs the guy dead? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Joshua only leaves that extra Player Pin-- his trump card-- on Neku after Minamimoto leaves.

Kind of wild so far, right? Well we're not done because I think this idea that Joshua may have had created ANOTHER oversight for him.

Week 2 Day 7: Minamimoto: I was hoping for a little reenactment. Same spot, same setup as last time… Neku: (Last time? Nrrgh! Not now!) Joshua: You OK, Neku? Neku: Waaaugh! [incomplete Neku death cutscene] Neku: It… it was you? Joshua: Neku… Neku: You killed me… You stole my life!

What's with Joshua's reactions here? Did he not realize that Neku was getting headaches around Minamimoto?

(yes)

It's understandable if you think Joshua is faking it here, but if you're with me about this so far you also have to admit that Joshua's surprise can be pretty genuine. I'll be honest, I thought this way before I thought anything else I've put in this essay so far just because Joshua and the situation seemed sincere to me. Why wouldn't Joshua notice this, though?

See, there are four times that Neku, Joshua and Minamimoto are all in the same scene. Neku gets a headache from all of them, and this is what they look like:

Maybe this is just me, but the sprite direction in all of them but the last one makes it seem like Joshua stays between Neku and Minamimoto, and that he does not take his eyes off of Minamimoto the whole time he's around. And compare day 1 to day 7. Even though Neku's sprite is the one in the middle, he retreats backwards when he gets the headache, giving the suggestion that he's actually sort of behind Joshua. That doesn't happen on day 7 though, meaning Neku is definitely far enough in front that Joshua can see him-- and that's when Joshua finally reacts.

How could Joshua misunderstanding Minamimoto's target contribute to this? Regardless of the misunderstanding here, it's clear to me that Joshua views Minamimoto as enough of a threat that he doesn't even glance at Neku while he's having a memory migraine. But the fact that Joshua does notice on W2D7 seems a little less random if that misunderstanding had cleared up for him and caused him to be less zeroed in on Minamimoto. Keep in mind that these four events split evenly into "before W2D5" and "after W2D5." That means that the first two, Joshua would have thought Neku was the target, and the last two are when Joshua knows he was the target all along.

It makes some sense that Joshua might be so focused on Minamimoto that he doesn't notice what's going on with Neku if he thought Neku was being targeted, but what's going on W2D6? Joshua should know by then it's not Neku that Minamimoto was after. Hell, Minamimoto saved both of them earlier that day so why is he so focused on him then but not the next day? I suspect it's because this was Joshua's first time talking to Minamimoto while knowing he tried to kill him, and he was very absorbed in it.

So on days 1 and 2, Joshua was totally focused on Minamimoto because he viewed him as a threat to his proxy. Day 6 Joshua is focused on Minamimoto but it's not about him being an immediate threat, and on day 7 Minamimoto is at his most dangerous, but Joshua thought he could relax more because he was the target and not Neku.

There is one more thing that might keep this from the list of "Shit Joshua Did Not Know About," and it's the fact that Neku… talks? He talks while he's in migraine pain. Joshua may not spare a glance Neku's way but he can hear. Would that not tip him off earlier than W2D7 if he wasn't just ignoring Neku? Funny that-- the dialogue is actually sort of clever here.

Neku talks a decent amount when he's getting that memory migraine around Minamimoto, but the most suspect lines Neku has aren't spoken by him out loud.

Week 2 Day 2: Minamimoto: You fractals have no future! QED. Class is dismissed! [Minamimoto leaves] Neku: (Finally… The pounding's stopped. What language is that guy speaking?)

Week 2 Day 6: Neku: !? Zetta… Neku: (Nrrgh! My head… again…) […] Neku: (The pain's fading… Are he and I connected or something?)

Earlier on (as in the two days Joshua is most focused on Minamimoto as a threat) Neku does also speak out loud about his brain suffering. If Joshua isn't looking at him as well though, they're all things he could interpret as Neku simply complaining about the Weird Math Guy Who Says Confusing Things Through A Megaphone. Neku doesn't like people being loud or people speaking nonsense after all, and uh… Joshua also didn't have the highest opinion of Neku's sociability. Assumptions are a hell of a thing.

So Joshua went into his Game with Neku completely unaware that Hanekoma betrayed him and that Minamimoto was trying to kill him specifically. Then he carried on for nearly the majority of this game without knowing that Minamimoto-- or perhpas the combination of him and Minamimoto-- was giving his proxy debilitating headaches. What does that mean for his character?

Little, but interesting things, I think. I find it pretty compelling that Joshua missed something big about Neku because he was so self-involved even while trying to protect him. It's a neat thing to point at and go "yup, Neku's not the only one who looks stupid for writing people off." I think it also lends well to the idea that they were both getting to know each other in week 2.

Also-- we're coming back to that pin from earlier-- I think it helps flesh out a difference between Neku and Joshua's situations at the end of the game.

Neku: I'm glad I met you guys. You made me… pick up on things, I probably would've just gone on ignoring. Trust your partner… and I do. I can't forgive you, but I trust you.

If you've collected all the secret reports, after Neku's ending monologue and the credits, there's the secret ending. And I feel like the idea of "trust vs. forgiveness" is a palpable element when the ending is viewed as a whole like this. TWEWY doesn't touch upon the idea of forgiveness nearly as much as it does the idea of trust, but I can't help but see a distinction between the two in Joshua just as much as Neku. Only where Neku trusts Joshua but doesn't forgive him yet, Joshua forgives Hanekoma but doesn't trust him yet.

Think about it, doesn't "forgives but does not trust" perfectly describe all of Joshua's future behavior towards Hanekoma? He'll hang around Mr. H in the Room of Reckoning and 104, or talk with him casually about the destruction of a neighboring city. But he wont talk to him if he's upset, or tell him any of his plans anymore. He doesn't seem to hold any of it against Mr. H but he refuses to confide in or rely on him. That turnaround feels really strong if you look at how much Joshua relied on him beforehand. Or if you view his impression of his assassination attempt as contingent on his trust of Mr. H.

The crumbs of information we get about Joshua and Hanekoma's relationship after the betrayal might seem sort of circumstantial. Joshua doesn't want to talk about his feelings for Neku in the secret ending. That carries over into A New Day, and seems to be about Neku. And then in NEO Joshua doesn't give any information to Mr. H for… unknowable NEO plot reasons. But there's something else between og TWEWY and NEO to suggest that Joshua doesn't trust Hanekoma with shit.

A New Day- Hanekoma (over the phone): If that kid is who I think he is, then he probably doesn't know a thing. If he's who YOU think he is, then he probably won't say a thing.

At first this reads fine because Joshua spent his week with Neku tight lipped and evasive as hell. But still, isn't it a little weird for Mr. H to be saying this? He tells Mr. H stuff, doesn't he? Not anymore! It feels like this Hanekoma is talking pretty universally despite having been the exception. But he doesn't know shit and he doesn't propose he can help them know shit if it's about Joshua. And maybe Coco's fake Shibuya has something to do with that, but it's hard to say.

Honestly, aside from gaining the perspective to not destroy a whole city (important), it's easy to look at this and wonder if Joshua came out of TWEWY worse off. And… yeah, NEO really doesn't seem to help that. But I'm going to end this off with some really vague NEO speculation.

What if it's REALLY just Hanekoma who doesn't know shit about Joshua now? It's probably impossible to know the extent of this, but for some reason Shiki and Beat seem to treat Joshua with a slight sense of familiarity now…? The fandom also (quite reasonably) assumes that the real final day of NEO is the first time Neku has seen Joshua since the final day of TWEWY but we don't actually know that. Some food for thought.

#twewy #the world ends with you #ntwewy #joshua kiryu #twewy analysis #sanae hanekoma #sho minamimoto #neku sakuraba #my theory #idk if this counts more as theory or analysis but i can tag both #twewy meta #<-there thats probably better #scabby.txt

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ohraicodoll · 2 years ago

Text

Moments in Domesticity HC

Joel Miller x Feral Reader x Ellie The Last of Us (Show/Game) Feral Reader Masterlist Anon Requests: --“I'm loving all the domestic joel x red x Ellie content. So can we get an insight into how red and joel deal with ellies mood swings? I feel like after settling into Jackson, she will ease into teenage normalcy. I can see red trying to be helpful but just ends up in sleeping in the stables 💀💀💀“ --“Have you thought of red and joel and ellie in jackson 5 years later? like just domestic stuff. they’re all integrated and jackson has been their home for awhile...” --“I NEED to know how Joel would feel/act if red actually left them to go back to the wild, maybe in a jealous fit or something else. I’m begging u” Here’s a long list of different moments! I’ll be touching on stuff that happens after the first couple of years in a different fic, but these touch on stuff that don’t need full fics!

Despite Joel’s concerns, Ellie does make friends though it takes a while. The older kids are only required to go to a few classes a day and then have various jobs they’re suppose to do and she does bond with some of the other teens who think she’s cool. She’s different and when she tells them she’s killed Clickers and survived a Bloater, it cements her as a bad ass amongst them.

Ellie is quiet those first few weeks. They don’t push it but it’s the start of Red leaving little trinkets for her. A lava lamp she found, posters and books and sketch supplies.

Red knows that Ellie is suspicious of the story Joel told her. Sometimes when the girl pokes, tentatively asks her about the hospital, she glosses over it. Says that she had been knocked out and didn’t come to until the “raiders” were attacking and she helped Joel fight their way out. They just had to get Ellie out. The truth is in there, under the blurry faux details, and it makes it easier to lie.

There will be a day where she knows Ellie will push for the truth and all she can do is prepare for it.

Defending Red helps draw Ellie out of her shell. That protective streak over both of them. More than trinkets and Joel trying to use board games and small tokens of the past, Ellie’s need to feel useful and protective is what does the trick.

Spending time in Jackson with the animals and food and all the new helps as well.

Jesse is older and has taken more of a leadership position over the teens and it helps that when he’s on patrol and Joel is in the group, the older man gives him pointers. Joel notices sometimes how he stares at Ellie and keeps an eye on the boy.

He ribs Ellie about it over the next year or so until it’s broken to him that it’s not boys his kid is into, but girls. Which makes him suspicious of every teenage girl that was ever over in his house.

Joel finds his footing easier than them both. He becomes a valuable member of the patrols and goes back to helping with construction, the skills coming back easily. Though sometimes it’s hard watching Tommy have the life he thought he would have. Married with a baby on the way. His little brother is now the one in charge though he still can’t measure the 2x4′s worth shit and sometimes is dumb as bricks. It hurts but he’s proud of him.

It helps when he comes back home and Ellie is complaining about dumb homework at the table and Red is sitting on the countertop in the kitchen, trying to read the faded instructions on the pasta box. He’s needed in other ways.

There are mornings where Joel and Red get to sleep in. Those are usually the mornings where she is woken up by the slight push of the door opening and then a heavy pouncing on top of her before getting covered in slobber. Joel grunts and curses, covering his face with the comforter and Red tries to duck away from dog breath as Ellie cusses out, “Oh shit, Bowie no! Shit shit, sorry!”

“Ellie, what the hell did we say about bringing the dogs in?” He’s not as angry as he wants it to be, just annoyed as the heavy 80lb dog jumps around on the bed then flops down in between them like a second child. Bowie grins, trying to lick Joel, leash still attached.

“I was just walking him and forgot something in my room and needed to come inside real quick to get it but then he looked like he wanted some water and-”

Red only chuckles and whistles before signaling the dog off the bed, Bowie doing so immediately.

Waking up to dog kisses isn’t the worst. It happens more times than they can count, especially when Ellie is walking the puppies.

Swimming lessons start once the weather warms up. Tommy joins them to show where their usual swimming spot is. Him and Red sit a little higher up on a ridge edge and watch as Joel tries to show Ellie how to move her arms and feet. She clings to him like a toddler even though the water isn’t that deep and sometimes he has to support her stomach to keep her afloat while she gets it.

Tommy makes jokes from above at Joel’s expense, grinning at the comfort of hanging out with his brother and his kid again. That is until Red shoves him off the ridge and he hits the water face first.

If he still wasn’t slightly terrified of her, he’d splash her back.

There are progressive steps forward and some steps back. Joel and Ellie argue, both pushing and testing their boundaries with each other. Red and Joel fight, one not use to people caring about her and the other sometimes too protective. Ellie and Red fight, one desperately clinging to the other in fear of being left and the other worried the closeness will only hurt her. No one knows how to properly handle their emotions.

They always make up. A tentative offer to take Ellie out to practice shooting the rifle. Joel trailing his fingers through Red’s loose hair, kissing the crown of her head softly. A book of pressed flowers given on the porch, the book Red has been keeping in her bag for years. The first pages are her journal from the beginning of the Outbreak before it stops. All peace offerings.

Joel is a helicopter parent. When Ellie begins group patrols, he knows exactly who is leading the group and interrogates them after to make sure nothing went wrong and she is doing what she’s supposed to. He knows when she starts hanging out with new friends, like Jesse and Dina and Cat. Ellie is starting to go full-teenager so he tries not to let her know he’s doing it.

Red catches Ellie making out with her first girlfriend Mia in her room. She doesn’t know what to do, only freezes and backs away slowly then walks back down the stairs. She doesn’t tell Joel.

When Ellie starts going over to friends houses, staying over often or going to hangouts, they relish in having their own space for the first time in a long while. Joel has every intention of fucking Red against every surface and wall, but only manages the couch before someone knocks on the front door. Tommy thinks Joel is going to shoot him for even asking if he can do a night patrol. Red may well murder him if Joel doesn’t.

Joel knows he has to take his time with Red, but patience isn’t a strong suit of his. He missteps a lot, tripping on invisible landmines. Her parents. Her sister. Harry. Those years after the Outbreak but before he met her. She freezes up sometimes and he knows the landmine has gone up in his face.

But she sometimes she drops fragments. Mentions that her father died in the initial chaos though there is nothing sad in her voice. Her mother’s is always mentioned in disdain. That things between her and Harry had been complicated in the year or so before the Outbreak. That things were tense with her family. The way she clams up when asked if she was with a group is it’s own hint. He doesn’t push, can only apologize and soothe the shrapnel damage of his mistake.

There are days when Ellie is just in a mood. She’s snappy, easily irritable, gets sent home early from work duty for behavior (which in turn means Joel gets after her) leading to her being a ball of teenage rage at everyone. Red stays in the kennels those days because it’s easier dealing with a group of dogs than an angry teenager. Jamie, the head vet she sometimes works with, says it’s all part of raising a teenager.

They skip the monthly Jackson gatherings often as their time in town stretches on, though Tommy does bug them to go and actually be a part of the community. Red isn’t keen, especially after her dress experience with Maria, but Joel makes sure to stay at her side every time after. He doesn’t admit that he doesn’t mind going if only because he gets to stand with her, his arms around her waist and swaying slightly to the music, and making sure every man in town knows she’s his.

He doesn’t remember how the conversation leads to Red at the construction site. They’re working and the mention of her name comes up then her last name and instinctively, without thinking, Joel mentions it’s Miller. He can see Tommy’s head whip towards him, but neither of them say anything.

When Joel finally fixes the guitar, he plays for them. His heart is in his throat but he tries to play it off as casually as he can. Ellie’s been in a mood and thank god, he sees her loosen up afterwards. He promises to start teaching her and once a week they have guitar lessons on the porch. Those are Red’s favorite nights.

They’re having family dinner at Tommy’s one evening when Maria asks teasingly if she needs to get Red some birth control. She freezes and it’s like she’s a trapped animal, breath shaky and panic in her eyes, before biting out a simple, “No.” It’s a little awkward and they try to play it off, moving on. That night he can see the nail gouges in her thighs from her own hands. Joel doesn’t know the full story, but knows her inability to have kids isn’t a natural occurrence. He’s seen the ugly scar on her lower abdomen enough times.

Outbreak day is a bad day for everyone. The streets are quiet, everyone’s faces drawn. The town hosts a yearly memorial to honor the day and world they lost, but they don’t go. It’s the first year Joel doesn’t drink himself dumb if only because he doesn’t want to freak Ellie out. The teenager doesn’t have a tie to the day, being born long after. But she knows about Sarah and knows both her parental figures faced something horrific. So she does what any kid does and tries to lighten the mood. They play every board game in the house and Ellie picks the best puns and gently asks what Sarah’s favorite things were. It helps a little.

Some nights they get more bits of the lighter Red. They play the record player constantly but some days, the days when maybe one of them finds a new couple of vinyls, they’ll have a night where they each take turns playing their favorite. Red and Joel will drink a bit (and maybe let Ellie have some) and the teenager will grab Red’s hands and force her to dance with her. Joel soaks in the sound of their laughter and it’s like Red is so many years younger. He takes turns with each other them, spinning Ellie around and teaching her to two-step and dancing with his partner to the slower songs. He loves her through rage and violence, but he is at her mercy when she lets him have the fragile bits of herself underneath it all.

Once upon a time, giving someone that kind of control over him would have terrified him but he hands himself over willingly to her now .

Ellie’s first birthday in Jackson is small but they’re still getting use to things. No one knows the exact day she was born, but she knows the day that was on her papers in FEDRA school so they go with that. Joel gets food from the Food Hall and Red tries very very hard to follow a brownie recipe from one of the ladies in the shop. Joel plays her something on the guitar and, in true to them fashion, her gifts are a new revolver, another pun book (though unfortunately not by Wil Livingston) and the news that Brownie the puppy is hers to keep in the kennels.

Red sings for them for the first time that night.

Joel makes plans for a bigger birthday next year.

Danger still exists. It never goes away and Joel wonders if he doesn’t want it to, really. There’s still a thrill when his brother grabs them both to deal with raiders. Seeing that sharpness in Red come alive and the lack of hesitation as she pulls the trigger or draws her bow. The baring of her teeth when she stabs her knife.

He’s seen her tear through a whole group to save him during a patrol. Seen her rip out a man’s throat with her teeth to get to him when they had him trapped. Joel wonders at the broken part of him that enjoys it, seeing her covered in blood and completely feral and knowing it was all for him.

Every time after, clean or tinged red, he loses himself and fucks her so hard his name is a chorus from her lips and there are gouges down his back from her nails. They were still monsters deep down but it didn’t feel like such an awful thing anymore.

It’s roughly a year and a half later when Ellie comes home with a large bandage on arm. Red is the one to see it first and after being assured she wasn’t injured, the outline of a large tattoo is unveiled, covering the bite there.

She gets it, gets the fear of Ellie having to hide her arm because they’re afraid someone will shoot their kid. But seeing the tattoo churns something in her gut because it means Ellie’s letting go of that part of her identity as “the immune girl”. And while it should mean something good, that she was moving on, she knows hidden rage when she sees it and it’s deep in the teenage girl. It’s less a letting go and more the identity being ripped away from her.

It takes a bit to calm Joel down. He knows it was Ellie’s friend Cat that did the tattoo and the dad part of him rears up, telling her he doesn’t like her hanging out with that girl. It’s fear, they all know it, because the tattoo also means she showed Cat her arm.

It’s a rough week. Ellie moves into the converted garage behind the house.

Red feels unequipped to handle Joel’s fear and Ellie’s rage and all she can do is be there for both. She helps Ellie to decorate the garage, the same as when they first moved into the house, silently there at her side. At night, she prods and pushes Joel until he takes his emotions out on her with bruising fingers and rough kisses. Violence and sex are a comfort she knows well.

Joel and Ellie make up in their own awkward tentative way. Reminders about guitar lessons and dinner plans, requests to help fix the door and some of the walls in the garage. Red wonders if raising a teenager is like this for everyone.

Red goes missing for two days. Both of them panic and raise hell, searching everywhere for her. Ellie’s never seen Joel so out of control. He interrogates every patrolman at the gate roughly and it takes Tommy intervening to keep him from beating the shit out of a few.

She checked out a horse and left, her bag missing from the first floor room. Ellie feels a knot in her throat and her mind plays on repeat “everyone always leaves” but Joel is pushing her bag into her hands and they off to the stables. Tommy and Maria don’t try to stop them. Red’s already been gone a whole day.

They search for her beyond the walls, calling out for her and checking their usual spots. The worst comes to mind of her getting hurt, getting taken by raiders, getting bit by infected. Because in Joel’s mind, Red would never willingly up and leave without a word. He can’t let that possibility sink in. Even if she did, he’d find her and drag her back to him.

They find her that evening.

Her eyes are puffy and red and there are scratches all over her arms and hands. They look self-inflicted. She looks as wild as the first day they met her, huddled at the base of a large tree and hair all over the place. Joel approaches her cautiously, like he knows to when she’s more animal than woman, but it’s Ellie that goes straight up to her and hugs her around her waist without hesitating. Because she knows why.

The book of pressed flowers Red had given her had journal entries that stopped right before the flowers began. The last entry had a date and the words “me, Harry, and Annie are going on a run tomorrow” in it and Ellie knows.

Like a wounded animal, Red tried to hide her pain. The nightmares and the screams and the sounds in her head became too much and she had to get away. Sometimes all she could hear was her sister’s screams. But they dim in Ellie’s embrace and she lets herself come to the surface enough to hug her back and then lean into Joel when he joins them, kissing her head and holding them tightly.

They'd always find her and protect her when she needed to shatter.

_________________________________________ Taglist: @alouise20 @faceache111 @hawsx3 @taxidriversainz @iluvbunnyhops @mrfitzdarcyslover @emlovesya @agent007knight @spaacerabbit @namgification @wonwoosthetic @wxnderingthoughts @sagggy @escaping-reality8 @badwolf00593 @themothersmercy @badwolf00593 @mxtokko @happinessinthebeing @taranicristeard @aroacefanenby @barbellpedro @maviee @sgt-morgan

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x oc #joel miller x feral reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller imagine #tlou fandom #the last of us fanfic #tlou ellie #series: feral #feral reader #anon asks #asks #raicodoll writes #this was my way of catching up on requests #I still have a bunch but some are full fics and some are gonna be drabbles

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mdhwrites · 11 months ago

Note

honestly, Amity's hair color is the perfect metaphor for her character. She's still hiding her true colors, she's just trying to match Luz instead of Odalia.

So even at the time, when I was still deep in the paint of TOH, I had a major problem with it as far as the themes, metaphors and just designs of TOH went. Put both Amity and Luz at that time into their Hexside uniforms. Then silhouette them so you have no colors. Now try to tell me which is which.

It was a genuine problem for me during that time period where I'd see sketch fanart of Lumity and have to look for Amity's ears because otherwise the two are indistinguishable from each other. Like yes, it's a MUCH more boring hairstyle and I'm with others that there's just way too much purple in the show so Amity's green hair helped her actually stand out but this really was a big problem and got worse as I got more critical of Lumity. After all, this moment of making sure she has her own identity, stands out from others and will decide her own fate... And she looks the fucking same as another character now, blending in more easily with them. Then she just goes on to slowly have the rest of her personality and life (which were already doing this, thank you "your grades are slipping" from Escaping Expulsion for that one) consumed by her role of girlfriend.

It makes what should be such a character defining moment anything but that. Hell, it isn't even a complete schism from her family's desires and wishes. She still goes on to effectively helm Blight Industries after all, or so I presume unless she started her own competing abominations factory which still doesn't fix that that's STILL what Odalia would have wanted had Amity failed to get into the EC. It's still living in the shadow of her father's legacy and following in his own footsteps.

It's actually the one major cue from Hunter that Amity takes for her arc which really doesn't help the two feel like they aren't the same character. At least with Hunter, we only have one action that's confirmed as being the same as those he's supposed to be rejecting so as to find his own personhood: Rejecting Belos. There's a lot more we can claim but that's the only one 100% confirmed.

Amity though? Her future includes dedicating herself to a potentially unhealthy degree to her partner while also commercializing her magic into mech-infused abominations. Even if Lumity is healthy post the series, nothing about Amity's behavior doesn't imply she'd drop everything for Luz at a moment's notice and Alador gave the same impression. So... She just became her dad? Why?

Then again, when you are a show that seems to actually struggle to write a diverse cast of characters (I mean personality wise, not ethnicity), this is going to happen. Dana is a good enough artist though that the silhouette problem shouldn't have happened. That should have been caught and stopped immediately, not when it's so antithetical to the point of the moment. I guess you could say it's to show she still needs to make another step to becoming her own person but that never really happens, does it? And we explicitly know they didn't have proper plans for it to happen.

So yeah, it really is just perfect for who Amity became, even right down to being a worse design to go alongside girlfriend Amity being such a worse character.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house #amity blight

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usertiff · 14 days ago

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sentence starters: across the universe

a part i gift to @tragedynoir for the 2024 gift exchange <3

i chose this movie for sentence starters, because i liked the vibes of it based off of your sun anke character, as well as her friend played by ashley moore! i obviously don't know the muses well, and the description was somewhat vague, buuuut... between her struggling with her sense of self, her dog-eat-dog mentality, her being an artist, seeking validation/etc, and the best friend being a bubbly actress, there's just a lot of themes there that reminded me of the movie. i suppose the movie has also been on my mind lately with some themes being on-point for irl issues as well. i hope you enjoy!

I can't have no one screwing up my beauty sleep before 2:00 PM.

What you do defines who you are.

Music's the only thing that makes sense anymore. Play it loud enough, it keeps the demons at bay.

I understand you need to get away.

I can't pretend like it didn't happen.

This was just a crappy wall, and now it's a work of art.

Time is not on our hands. Time is slipping through them.

If nobody's everybody, then someone can be anybody, right?

(about a sketch) Hey, you didn't get my left nipple right.

Well, I was drawing from a distance. I couldn't see it properly.

We're in the middle of a revolution!

What are you doing — doodles, and cartoons?!

You don't think it's worth trying?!

We all wanna change the world.

Don't you know it's gonna be all right?

I've never seen [her/him/them] like that…

Why did you stop writing?

It all seems a bit unreal.

They should be radical. You should be radical. We should all be radical.

Everything's really okay, I promise...

Well... everything below my neck works fine, anyway.

All you need is love.

the rest are under the cut!

I told myself, "When I'm 64, I'll be long gone from this place." But I'm still here.

You're gonna miss this place.

I sometimes feel you're not telling me everything.

I'll be back before you know it.

You need a break from me? Is that what this is?

While I'm away, I'll write home every day and send all my loving to you.

No such professor here. Listen, I've pissed off every professor in Princeton, and they're not one of them.

I believe I'm your [son/daughter/child].

Did [she/he/they] find someone else?

There were a few hopefuls over the years. I think I scared them off.

Look, I didn't come here to derail your life.

Fifteen bucks says you miss this shot. Fifty says your [sibling] still marries me.

You're wanted by the cops, eh? FBI?

You know, it looks to me as though you're the one on the run.

What would they have done if they caught you?

I'm never having children. Think about it, it's pure narcissism. I mean, people putting out little carbon copies of themselves, going: "Oh, doesn't he have his father's eyes? Doesn't he have his mother's lips?" It's… It's disgusting.

Is that fashionable? Your haircut? Or... lack of one.

Goddamn it! Be serious, for once!

What do you actually intend to do with your life? Why is it always about, "What will you do? What will you do? What will he do? Oh, my God, what will he do?" Why isn't the issue here who I am?

What you do defines who you are.

Sorry you had to sit through that.

My education is rarely a topic of conversation.

Turns out [he/she/they're] just a working stiff like myself.

I've spent half my life trying to hate [her/him/them].

I never realized I had it so easy. I mean... we're so... normal.

Goddamn it! It's like this every time I come home!

What the hell do they talk about when I'm not here?

He's a sailor on leave. He needs a bar, a brawl, and a brothel.

If I don't go back to college I'll do what any irresponsible, unmotivated dropout would do: go to New York. Like, tonight.

I can't have no one screwing up my beauty sleep before 2:00 PM.

You have a good memory for faces? There's no mirror in your bathroom.

What the hell are you doing, man?

I write my own songs. I got 20 in a notebook... another 10 in my head.

Music's the only thing that makes sense anymore. Play it loud enough, it keeps the demons at bay.

I understand you need to get away.

You don't have to talk about this.

I can't pretend like it didn't happen.

They were the first person I knew to die. I'd never even been to a funeral before.

This was just a crappy wall, and now it's a work of art.

I saw you at the peace march. I was moved by your speech.

You're up before 2 and looking wicked cool. Who's it for?

Time is not on our hands. Time is slipping through them.

No point butting your heads bucking the system.

Never knock the way another cat swings.

"I am me as you are he as you are me and we are all together."

If nobody's everybody, then someone can be anybody, right

(about a sketch) Hey, you didn't get my left nipple right.

Well, I was drawing from a distance. I couldn't see it properly.

Why were you so rude before? It wouldn't kill you to talk to [her/him/them].

We're in the middle of a revolution!

What are you doing — doodles, and cartoons?!

I would lie down in front of a tank if it would stop this war and bring [name] home!

You don't think it's worth trying?!

Maybe when bombs start going off here, people will listen.

We all wanna change the world.

I can't do this right now.

Don't you know it's gonna be all right?

I've never seen [her/him/them] like that...

Get this clown out of here! Now!

What is the matter with you? Why would you do that?

I'm sick and tired of violence.

Why did you stop writing?

It all seems a bit unreal.

Is this real enough for you?

They should be radical. You should be radical. We should all be radical.

This war just keeps going on and on and nobody's listening!

Everything's really okay, I promise...

Well… everything below my neck works fine, anyway.

I don't understand what the problem is.

Get your hands off me!

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

There's no one to save who can't be saved.

All you need is love.

#rphservergifts #rph #sentence starters #rp memes #rp resources #mine. rph stuff #mine. sentence starters #2024rphchristmas

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sanctus-ingenium · 1 year ago

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answering asks vol 2.

'Smiths' can encompass enginesmiths (mercury), armoursmiths (mars), alchemists (saturn) and some others - generally a smith is someone who works with engines or metal in any capacity, whether by constructing them, managing their fuel, making armour, etc. all of them have a completely degendered role in the church. They are supposed to be wholly devoted to their craft & church, to the point of becoming almost unpeople, sexless.

I like pantera :) he's the main character beast sure (alongside leun) but he's got a lot of interesting history and has been through a lot.

To start out I do some basic sketches while looking at bestiary diagrams of the animal type. Then I draw the base proportions over a photo of the animal's skeleton. Once the joints are all in place and I could imagine it moving relatively freely, I pick a motif and design the armour shapes with that in mind (i.e leun's trefoils, taurus's waves). The motifs come from a bunch of sources - if I see them in medieval art around that animal, the beast's use purpose, the culture that built them and how it might differ in art styles to the 'basic' designs from the heart of the Mezian theocracy. Fun stuff like that.

As an exercise I have taken (human) characters from other settings and made holy beast versions of them, trying to imagine what animal it would be, what weapons, what armour designs, etc. Behold, Bowman:

It's a fun exercise! I recommend :>

Hi! Thank you for the suggestion! I actually did try to use OneNote for my thesis but I found that it ended up an extra step that got in the way. Instead I organised my reference papers manually (and wrote up all my bibliography by hand as well). I haven't heard of Notion so I might look into it :> as someone with adhd I find that the best way for me is to make it stupid easy, which is why discord works because I already use it for talking with friends and I like the mobile app.

SO true!! You can make whatever the hell you want forever and that sounds really cool, I'm glad I was able to help in some little way >:) (although, holy beasts are not robots.. i think the best description for them is just. exotic vehicles.)

lmao it's totally fine!! I love to talk

Sir Heaven had such a profoundly negative experience with Leun that he struggles with the concept of making anybody else do what he now considers to be his burden. He also feels that taking any new people inside Leun would endanger them.

The bishop of Salvius cathedral is the guy Heaven answers to, and his superior officer. The bishop has reported the matter to the pope and they're still working hard presenting new potential novices to Sir Heaven, but the thing is that Sir Heaven rejects them for seemingly valid reasons. He doesn't just say 'no I'm not taking apprentices', he says 'this one's reaction speed isn't good enough' or 'this one is too prideful'. But the longer he tries to keep this up, the more suspicion he heaps on his shoulders. If the time came, no, he would not be able to deny a direct order from the pope.

Ketjan was selected at random, one of a large group of other children who were not raised in the church. This is to ensure that there is no per-existing bias or knowledge of how holy beasts work. And he just happened to be the only one of the group who could master Leun's very demanding dialogue tattoo. The recruiting enginesmiths, who designed Leun's systems, were the ones to train him, but Ketjan was the one to write most of the procedures for operating Leun based on feedback from the dialogue.

Replies from THIS post:

@ospreyonthemoon @kicks-tiktaalik-back-into-water

Krokodilos had an amazing high-tech ventilation system that used active air pumps to keep it circulating. But exactly like the second reply says, it broke down frequently. And because of how it worked, the interior of croc had to be air-tight so that the pumps could work efficiently. And, of course, if it broke down, and it was air tight on the inside, it instantly became a more dangerous deathtrap than your average passively ventilated beast.

There were valves that could be opened in an emergency but these were only added after the first Incident. The pumps would break down from the fabric seals degrading, lose efficacy, and then the parts furthest from the pumps would suddenly not get enough air anymore because air couldn't be moved such a distance with faulty pumps. The reason his enginesmiths want him to be re-commissioned is because the only barrier was the material used for the seals, and they believe they can innovate some new materials or try something different and have it work. They were even thinking of trying natural rubber, which would have worked perfectly, but they never got approval for it.

#setting: mez

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cookeybg · 10 months ago

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Unexpected Cohabitation a JonDami fic

Woah, I couldn't wait and whipped this out as fast as I could. I want all of you to feel what I felt. Bwahahaha!

I'm so excited for this one.

Title: Unexpected Cohabitation

Main Characters: Jonathan Kent and Damian Wayne (some of the others show up too, the list is too long)

Eventual relationship: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne (my fave)

Stuff to know: No capes, reverse robins, high school AU, no smut, no Brucie Wayne, I know nothing about sports but it will show up, (aaand I think that's it, will add more if it comes up)

[In case you missed it Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3]

Part 1 - Chapter 4

Jon had done it. He had actually done it! Taking inspiration from some shoujo manga he had read, he decided to write a letter with his feelings confessing his crush on Jay. It had taken him three days and two nights to write and to say he was nervous was an understatement. He really hoped he hadn’t looked too desperate when he had asked Jay to meet up after art class, since it was their last class of the day. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately since it meant he could take a few breaths to compose himself, Jay had to meet Mr. Thompson in the computer room. Jon told him he would wait at the bench, under the tree, in the small garden the art classes used for sketching and painting. Jon paced the length of the bench. The sun shone brightly through the tree branches. He could smell the soft wet earth under the white rose bushes and hear the chirping of birds encouraging his journey into love. His palms were sweating and his heart was beating unnecessarily quickly. Standing still, he stared at tree bark trying to breathe in and out, the envelope clutched in both hands when he heard foot steps stop behind him. He swung, around eyes shut tightly, arms extended offering his love letter with both hands. “I’ve liked you for a while! Please go out with me!” Almost biting his tongue with how quickly he said it. “Tt.” Jon knew that sound, he lifted his head so quickly he probably got whiplash. A breeze picked up jostling white rose petals around Damian making him look like he had materialized from thin air. “I barely know you,” green eyes glared, “and I am not looking for a relationship.” Jon was unable to move. His hands and feet felt cold and his head was buzzing so loudly he wasn’t sure if it was him or if there was a beehive in the tree above. Damian was NOT Jay. Damian was NOT supposed to be here. WHY was Damian here?! As if in slow motion he watched as Damian cocked an eyebrow and shifted to one foot in annoyance. Damian opened his mouth to say something, but another voice cut him off. “What’s going on?” Damian snatched the letter from Jon’s grasp, as two arms wrapped around Damian’s shoulders from behind. A familiar redhead rested his chin on top of Damian’s head. “Tt, nothing.” Damian hissed. “Get off me!” Damian shook Colin off, glared at Jon, “And you, stop blocking the path.” “Wait!” Jon tried to stop him from storming away, but Colin got in his path, grabbing Jon’s arm. “Sorry dude, but he’s not in a good mood right now. I would leave him alone if I were you.” Colin said apologetically, leaving Jon standing there, dumbfounded. Did he just get dumped? Dumped by Damian Wayne? By a guy he didn’t even like? Was this truly happening, was this truly his reality? What the hell was wrong with him? He should have made sure it was Jay! Why was Damian even around here?! He felt a buzz coming from his pocket. With shaking hands he took it out and stared at the text from Jay blankly. I’m so sorry! My mom came and picked me up early, family emergency. Sorry! Ttyl. Jon slid to the ground, damp grass soaked through his slacks. He tasted salt and could feel tears dripping off his chin. He vaguely heard a crow, it sounded like it was laughing at him.

“I’m home.” Jon said glumly, slowly removing his shoes and placing them where they belonged. Conner did the same glancing at Jon with concern. While they were waiting at the subway, Conner had tried to ask what was wrong, but Jon wouldn’t open up about it. He decided to wait until Jon was ready to speak about it, but it was honestly worrying him since Jon was usually happy go lucky. “Oh good!” Lois walked out of her room holding the curling iron and wearing a bathrobe. “The both of you, hurry and get ready. I left your clothes on your chairs. Hurry or we'll be late!” She said, running back into her room. Jon groaned. He had forgotten that they were going to some fancy dinner. His parent’s friends had invited the whole family for some important announcement, or something. Jon didn’t care. Jon didn’t want to go, should he feign a stomach ache? He sighed watching Conner look at his new clothes appreciatively. He couldn’t let Conner go alone, it would be unfair. Jon went through the paces as he got ready for the evening. Eventually Jon sat in his chair, chin cradled in his hands, elbows on his knees, legs crisscrossed on his desk chair, staring at Conner while he fussed with his hair. Jon did not feel like putting any effort on his appearance. Two knocks resounded from their bedroom door and Lois walked in fiddling with some gold earrings. She was wearing a tight plum colored dress and a gold necklace that Jon had never seen before, it’s blue gem glistened under the bedroom light. She looked between the boys, putting her hands on her hips when she finished with clasping her earrings. “You look so handsome Conner!” She cooed and Conner beamed. Lois then turned towards Jon and frowned. “Brush your hair.” Jon grumbled watching her leave the room. He grabbed the hair spray and brush from Conner and did a passable job at calming his curls.

Lois, Jon and Conner walked out of the parking structure and met Clark outside of the most fanciest and gaudiest restaurant Jon had ever seen. “Was there a lot of traffic?” Clark asked leaning in and kissing Lois on the cheek. “Not really.” Lois said, then covered her mouth and giggled. “This feels like we are in high school all over again.” “It is pretty exciting.” Clark laughed guiding his wife by the waist. When they entered they were greeted with the sight of a huge chandelier that Jon was pretty sure passed as a work of art made of asymmetrical patterns. There was a lot of gold accents, moody lighting, textured beige walls and leather couches that had no patrons. A stuffy looking man stood at the podium in the far center of the room. He looked down their nose at them. “Mr. and Mrs. Kent I presume?” he said in a French accent. “Uh, yes.” Said Clark. “We are here to meet-“ “Ah, please do not mention their names, if it is overheard it might cause too many curious eyes and ears.” The stuffy man cut Clark off. Clark nodded a bit put off. “If you would follow me.” The Kent family followed behind the man. Jon saw some patrons sitting in the open in two seater tables while others sat in more private booths made for larger parties, they passed by them all and walked through a door that another employee held open for them. They were met with a long hallway that held two other doors labeled as private. “What the hell is going on?” Conner whispered from the side of his mouth while leaning close to Jon. Jon shrugged and shook his head at Conner. They both wore identical confused expressions. They stopped at the last door at the end of the hallway. Another stuffy man with gray hair and the beginnings of a balding head nodded at the Maître d. “If you will excuse me.” Said the first stuffy man, he bowed and walked away. “Mistress Kent and Master Kent, it is always a pleasure.” This man had an English accent. “It’s Lois, Alfred.” Lois smiled and hugged the man who hugged back stiffly. “Mine’s Clark, in case you forgot.” Clark laughed and shook Alfred’s hand. “There is very little I forget, Master Clark.” Alfred smiled and looked at Jon and Conner. “These must be the young Masters Jonathan and Conner.” Jon and Conner greeted the man awkwardly. The man opened the door and ushered them in. Jon stopped in his tracks his mouth hanging open and his eyes bulging. Standing at the dinning table next to a man and a woman and four children was none other than Damian Wayne. Who stared at him in slight surprise. Maybe he should faint, would that get him out of this dinner?

Bahahaha, this one was fun.

#damian wayne #damian al ghul #jon kent #jonathan samuel kent #jonathan kent #damian and jon #jondami #high school au #no capes au #supersons #fanfic #fanfiction #first time writing #hope you enjoy

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