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GOT ACCEPTED INTO A LOCAL CON.. BABY'S FIRST ART MARKET
#Boothing#Going to have a new tag now.. What a beautiful day.#Excuse the tone switch. The description is us being blurry but I (Chara) am truly the one in front.#Wow! What joy. =) Haha. Patron of the Arts do not worry about us not having inventory yet...#But I am very excited to wake up tomorrow to pay for the booth fee and finally get our gears running for our inventory and displays.#This is what we have been doing our Pride animals for. It has always been for a dream like this:#Which is to sayâ selling them physically at an art market.#Oh. Oh my goodness. The Wheelchair sticker will be real.. The Pride Animals will be real everyone.#Not just a redbubble idea. An actual design that has coloured borders or borderless designs because WE want them to.#Sitting there with other artists and making friends. Accepting tips and making jokes with everyone.#Joy joy joy.#We plan on turning the whole thing into a small documentary for our personal self that we will upload to Youtube after PotA is over.#If anyone is interested in our future highs and lows...#The funny thing is.. I wonder how everyone will react to our art style changing every now and then in our booth. Haha!#âWhy is your art style for this print different from this other printâ#Well you see.. I have something called.. Dissociative Identity Disorder my friend.#Oh also! We are going to be selling Palestine related stickers for people to buy in a PWYW system with a minimum price.#So it will be our way of giving as well as other people can knowingly support the people in Gaza in an easier way.#We haven't posted anything related to this yet because we want to finish the entire set. We have ideas in mind since we wanted to avoid#using text/words and instead use symbols like animals and plants or objects.#Haha our catalogue will hopefully be varied enough for people.#I wonder if it will be too diverse... We also worry about the opposite problem where people might not 'follow us' because our style changes#too much to 'follow for'... hm.. Well that is a problem for themâ not meâ I should say. =)#From Chara#Mod Stuff
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if you have period underwear
and/or re-usable fabric pads, a lot of people will tell you rinse them the moment you take them off, or soak them before washing. I have never managed to do this consistently??
(Also the times I rinsed them out I was like...okay but now I have soaking wet, still not-clean period undies. Now what.)
But if you just toss them (dried blood and all) into your normal cold-water wash they don't always get clean enough plus, I dunno, it feels Icky to me. (YMMV, if you're using them only for backup to tampons/cups it's not a big deal; but when I've worn just period undies on a heavier day....oof.)
But what DOES work for me:
First, I just wash them in a normal (low-water) cold water wash by themselves.
Then, when that cycle is over, I add the rest of my cold water load and run it normally. So the pads/undies get washed twice: once by themselves, and once with a normal load of clothes.
(And I always air-dry them.)
Obviously this isn't a great option if you pay for every load you wash--I have laundry hook-ups and own my washer.
ALSO I have ADHD if I'm not sitting in the living room where I can hear the washing machine sing its little "I'm done!" song, I set a timer to remind me to flip the laundry otherwise I would NEVER REMEMBER
#menstruation#periods#my posts#period underwear#cloth pads#(I used to use a cup but they all irritate my vagina now which SUCKS#I have no idea why/how it makes no sense??? I washed them I boiled them I tried buying a new one#but no matter what a few days into my cycle I'd feel like I was getting a Yeastie and I was not I was just irritated!! so I had to stop ;_;#and now it's just period underwear/cloth pads and sometimes a disposable pad and/or tampon)#My washing machine was a secondhand LG frontloader I got off craigslist for $200#like six years ago??#secondhand appliances ftw#so many new ones suck buy one just a couple of years old!!#as long as it works it's probably fine for years and years after that#I had a replace a valve on it once but I did it myself for $20#bless people who upload repair videos to youtube okay
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i dont think theres a single thing in my life im not tired of anymore. i dont feel like doing anything and im sick to my stomach of everything ever
#i live day after day going through all daily activies i can do#and being sick of all of them#i dont want to sleep i dont want to eat#i dont want to talk to people anymore. i dont want to draw anymore#im fucking sick of social media#i get bored and try to distract myself but all youtube videos are boring ive heard every song on my playlist and im sick of all of them#i want to leave my house but theres nothing to do outside and no place to go#i want to buy a snack or something fun for me but the number on my bank account keeps going lower and lower everyday#im scared of running out of money and starving again#but i havent finished the commission i got ages ago and im too burnt out from drawing to get new ones#i hate everything and everyone everything makes me angry and i get mad even at my friends#im sick im tired its like i havent felt actually good about anything in ages#i am in some kind of fucked up torture chamber purgatory losing any sense of self every second#god.
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So... I can tell youtube "no I do not want to become a white supremacist" after listening to stoner desert rock and watching hours long video essays on how laughably terrible ancient aliens is? And it will listen?
#i had to delete all my yt extensions to get an adblocker to work after they started rolling out that anti adblocker shit#i could have had one or two extensions that do all of these things but youtube's insistence on advertising to me knows no bounds#i wonder if it realizes that advertizing straight up doesn't work on me#go fuck yourself surfshark/apple/the US military/etc telling me to buy your product or join your cult makes me actively detest you#stop wasting my time trying to get me to buy things#do I look like I have money?
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Can't afford art school?
After seeing post like this đ
And this gem đ
As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.
Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.
đșHere is my list:
Proko (Free, mostly teaches anatomy and how to draw people. But does have art talks and teaches the basics.)
Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard and teaches you everything)
Aaron Rutten (free, tips about art, talks about art programs and the best products for digital art)
BoroCG (free, teaches a verity of art mediums from 3D modeling to digital painting. As well as some tips that can be used across styles)
Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)
Jesus Conde (free, teaches digital painting and has classes in Spanish)
Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)
Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price. Mostly teaching character designs and simple backgrounds.)
SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)
Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)
The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney. Mostly nature art)
Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)
Sinix Design (has some tips on drawing people)
Winged canvas (art school for free on a verity of mediums)
Bob Ross (just a good time, learn how to paint, as well as how too relax when doing art. "there are no mistakes only happy accidents", this channel also provides tips from another artist)
Scott Christian Sava (Inspiration and provides tips and advice)
Pikat (art advice and critiques)
Drawbox (a suggested cheap online art school, made of a community of artist)
Skillshare (A cheap learning site that has art classes ranging from traditional to digital. As well as Animation and tutorials on art programs. All under one price, in the USA it's around $34 a month)
Human anatomy for artist (not a video or teacher but the site is full of awesome refs to practice and get better at anatomy)
Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.
đHere is my list:
The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.
"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.
"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.
"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.
"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.
"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.
"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.
"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.
"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.
Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.
đAs for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. If you want to go fancy Michaels is always a good place for traditional supplies. They also get in some good sales and discounts. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are usually more expensive.
For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.
đ»As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.
Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates. Galaxy, Windows, macOS, iPad, iPhone, Android, or Chromebook device. )
Procreate ( pay once for $9.99 usd, IPAD & IPHONE ONLY)
Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, animation and more. Free)
PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)
Krita (Free)
mypaint (free)
FireAlpaca (free)
Aseprite ($19.99 usd but has a free trail, for pixel art Windows & macOS)
Drawpile (free and for if you want to draw with others)
IbisPaint (free, phone app ONLY)
Medibang (free, IPAD, Android and PC)
NOTE: Some of these can work on almost any computer like Clip and Sai but others will require a bit stronger computer like Blender. Please check their sites for if your computer is compatible.
So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.
I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.
Hope this was helpful and have a great day.
"also apologies for any spelling or grammar errors, I have Dyslexia and it makes my brain go XP when it comes to speech or writing"
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#I really wish the new t/xt album sounded good but it feels like the same recycled garage band crap they've been doing for three albums now#if you played the last three albums together it could sound like one piece of work#and it's such a far throw from their earlier intresting music it makes me so sad#I really thought they were going to be the IT group for me#but it feels like with the amerification of hybe all of their music just sounds like the same boring radio shit they were making bt/s do#before they shipped them off to the military#they want t/xt to make radio music and get millions of plays but completely ignore their core fanbase who liked them because they were uniq#I get there's a certain style to kpop but the groups who have made it big have always had a standout element to their music that made them#special and unique and I feel t/xt had it and they've lost it#it makes me so sad#not everything on the radio should sound the same#bands should be willing to adapt#but it should be adapting into their own unique colors not just relying on notoriety and skirting by'#it's so boring and unintresting it makes me sad because I love the members so much#I have such precious memories of watching to-do and interviews and their little youtube shows#but now I barely have intrest because unfortunately they are 'musicians' first#And I can't buy album after album to support them knowing my money is feeding the same beast that's trying to make everything sound the sam
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hi! i was just wondering if youâre getting a piece of this pie. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/voidrealmminis/rise-of-the-eldertubbies?ref=profile_saved_projects_live
Oh my goodness! Haha thanks for showing me! And no, of course, this guy is still selling my dream while claiming itâs totally nothing to do with me. I hadnât heard about it so thank you.
For those just joining us, here is the saga of the elder teletubbies:
1. in 2017 I posted a dream I had on Tumblr. In the dream I discovered that the childish teletubbies shown on BBCâs Teletubbies are merely the children of a species that grows up to be forest cryptids as adults. The post contained a detailed character description explaining how the childrenâs simple antennae become more complex antlers; their coats become thicker hair; their eldritch screens are unknowable; here, look:
The adult Teletubbies have more branching, complex antlers and shaggy coats. They are less brightly coloured. They are terrifyingly large. Their strangely human faces, emerging from the thick fur, are unquestionably adult; remote, serene, reproachful. Their television screens are glitchy, esoteric and unknowable. They are cryptids whose public exploitation has undermined their rarity and their strange, alien dignity.
Thatâs a pretty clear description.
2. The post quickly gained attention and many people drew art, made sculptures, designed in-depth character concepts, and even made DnD character sheets and entries with detailed notes. It was 2017. The post got over 90k notes. It had an extremely clear description of the cryptid in it. This wasnât at all obscure.
3. The post and four pieces of the concept art, including the first piece by were screencapped and posted on r/tumblr. The post included this art by the now-deactivated @finoliatav which is, I think, the first piece of art. Most screencaps donât show that itâs animated! Once you see it you can no longer pretend that any more work needs to be done in designing these characters, really - theyâre all variations on a very clear theme.
4. A guy called Jars started drawing the BBC Teletubbies as adult Teletubbies. He noted on Reddit that his inspiration for the first one was the r/tumblr post but after that, he considered it entirely his own creative work. He drew each of the 4 BBC Teletubbies as adults using my character description and wrote a little story about how his character had stumbled upon them in the woods. Heâs a good artist and his work went viral on Reddit and instagram. Those places being separate from Tumblr by the walls of the enclosure, they quickly believed the Jars was being highly original and praised him for it.
5. jars got carried away by his fame and started merchandising for all heâs worth. Heâs selling elder teletubbies placemats. He got a collaborator to help him make and sell plushies.
6. Plushies of my character design applied to BBC characters. Jars sells them. To people. Who buy them. He sells these.
7. I think this is like⊠his job.
8. It has been years of this. I donât think he has actually come up with anything else to sell by himself. But given that he now has millions upon millions of views on platforms I donât use, let alone dominate (Instagram, YouTube, Reddit, TikTok) he seems to have fully subscribed to the idea that this is his THING.
9. After a while I wrote him a friendly email expressing that since my original dream was very much about discomfort with how the teletubbies were being exploited, I didnât mind him selling his own art but that I wasnât happy with him selling plushes based on my writing.
10. He wrote back along the lines of it all being his original intellectual property and absolutely nothing to do with me, etc, so jog on and donât interfere.
11. Iâm not entirely sure where the original intellectual property is when taking BBC characters and drawing them according to someone elseâs detailed description of how to âevolveâ them (branching antlers, shaggy coats, eldritch screens, serene adult human faces) especially having drawn them after seeing four separate detailed reference photos to base your own drawings on; especially when theyâre the existing BBC characters from the show and not even your own. Like, Jars, you were given an entire detailed brief, several sets of references, an entire concept and a television show: the only artistic choices made here were to pick up your own personal pen and do the drawing. You have never deviated from my description, which you did not come up with yourself in any way. But okay Jars. You did some real intellectual heavy lifting here, this is Intellectual Property suddenly, and I guess this is your day job!
12. I myself actually have a day job, am capable of generating lots of other original material just for funsies, have never asked you guys for money, and Iâm not generally huge jerk I donât think. Also, Iâm uncomfortable but have never been clear on how to stop him - I donât think I can. So I donât do much about this, apart from occasionally scream with hilarity with you guys about it.
13. Like this is the opposite of Goncharov. This is a guy making his wage on a 2017 tumblr collaborative shitpost insisting that this is the beautiful fruit of his only brain. And millions of people believe him.
14. There are now YouTube documentaries with millions of views and TikTok lore about Jars, and his lore, the Elder Teletubbies, which apparently he invented. People are making their wage talking about the history of Jars and his teletubbies lore. These documentaries are, if you canât tell, not especially well-researched, as it is not difficult to find the original elder teletubbies art on the internet, which is all timestamped. Occasionally hilarious people from Tumblr point this out in the comments (thank you, you guys are hilarious) but the juggernaut is unstoppable!
15. Jars is now, apparently, doing a kickstarter to raise money for some kind of DnD sheets using the grown up BBC teletubbies.
16. I will point out that tumblr made and played with DnD teletubbies in 2017 for free and nobody had to pay $3000, but again. The juggernaut is unstoppable.
I have never, ever known what to do about this guy.
I have always been open to advice but genuinely never been able to articulate how it âdamagesâ me, apart from ethical discomfort about how much I hate my writing being monetised by other people, especially when it was about my discomfort with exploitation. The juggernaut is unstoppable though. He fully intends to get thousands of dollars from this. He almost certainly will!
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theres something so funny to me when hermits are talking about redstone and theyre like "and then theres an etho hopper clock here-"
like. of course they use etho hopper clocks, itd be weirder if they actively avoided using it, considering its like. a redstone thingy that is very useful and still works even after all this time, and from what i understand it was like. a pretty big deal in terms of useful things you could do with redstone back when he first made it because it opened up ways to do even more things with redstone
and like for the most part theyve probably been referring to that particular thing as an etho hopper clock for longer than theyve even known etho personally, considering the etho hopper clock predates his joining hermitcraft by at least 1-2 years, and several of the other hermits joining hermitcraft by even more. so of course they still call it that
on a related note, most of them likely had at least heard of etho before meeting him, even if they didnt personally watch him (tho i know some did) since he was an old school minecraft youtuber. like his original season 1 of "lets play minecraft" started when minecraft was so new it hadnt been officially released yet. literally back in minecraft alpha. he was a minecraft youtuber OG
so with those two points taken into consideration it completely makes sense that "etho hopper clock" is something ingrained into the terminology of anyone that does stuff with redstone somewhat regularly. theres no reason it wouldnt be
but when you put it into contrast with like. their actual interactions with etho. it kind of cracks me up???
its like. in my head the vibes are this: imagine building something and being like "okay guys, for this machine we need to use an archimedes screw, which is named of course after its inventor archimedes, a man so genius that to this day he is regarded as one of the most brilliant inventors and mathematicians to ever walk this earth" and then like thirty minutes later you go to a restaurant and you see archimedes, of classic antiquity fame, trying to eat a sandwich but the ingredients keep falling out in increasingly comedic manners. so you of course call him pathetic to his face, and then ask if he wants to try out your new totally-not-a-scam product that you carry on you at all times for opportunities like these. and for some reason he doesnt just say yes, but buys two
#ethoslab#ethos lab#hermitcraft#hermitcraft etho#this is almost directly copy-pasted from my DMs to my partner and they found it funny so im sharing it with y'all
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So why do you hate the advertising industry?
Hokay so.
Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.
I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.
I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.
Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.
Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.
Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.
I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.
And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.
Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.
Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.
And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.
Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.
It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.
It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.
And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.
Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.
Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.
However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.
I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.
Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.
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Mask recommendations for ordering online (NA)
Note: for consistency, practicality, and simplicity all prices are listed in USD.
masknerd has a comprehensive data set on hundreds of masks he's tested according to his own criteria and methodology (pinned tweet). find his recommendations on his youtube channel. many of the following are on his list as well!
DISPOSABLE MASKS
3M Aura and Vflex: one of the most commonly recommended brands of N95. Where to buy?
- US: see here - Canada: see here - Multiple sizes per model. These suppliers are good for bulk ordering. If you aren't sure if something will fit you, check out the sample kits in the next recommendation - Price point: varies from $1-1.3 USD per mask depending on supplier
Breatheteq (US):
- KN95s that come in small, medium, large, or XS (kids) - Offers sample kits so you can test out what your size is - Comes in a few different colours. shoutout to the lavender - Earloop only - Price point: $69.75 USD for a 50-pack (~1.4 USD per mask)
Canadastrong (Canada):
- The Canadian equivalent to Breatheteq, but also carries N95s of other brands such as 3M Aura and Vflex, Vitacore, and Drager X-plore
Vitacore (Canada and US):
- N95 certified, but actually has 99% filtration - Both earloop and head strap versions (warning that the head strap seems to fit considerably smaller) - Regular and small adult sizes offered, also a kid's size - Price point: $33.99 for a 30-pack (~1.1 USD per mask)
Wellbefore (US, ships to Canada):
- N95s, KN95s, and KF94s - Head straps, normal earloops, or adjustable earloops depending on model - Kids/petite size available for certain KN95 models - Wide range of colours (excluding N95s) - Price point: varies per model, from $0.79 USD to $2.09 USD per mask - Also sells Covid tests, over the counter medication, and medical supplies
Masklab (US):
- This is an indulgent option for if you want to go out and look good, while still staying safe. These are masks that are part of your outfit - FFP2 certified, equivalent to KF94s - Standard size and slim fit series - Many beautiful patterns - Price point: $24.44 USD for a 5-pack ($4.88 per mask) for the patterned KF ones, ~$3.4 USD for the plain KF ones, ~$3.3 USD for the slim fit series, including patterns.
ELASTOMERIC MASKS
Flomask (US, ships to Canada):
- Reusable elastomeric mask (with replaceable filters) that meets KN95 standards - Two adult sizes (low/medium nose ridge and medium/high nose ridge) and a kid's size - Adjustable straps - Price point: $122 USD. 50-pack replacement filters: $81.46 (filters to be changed after 20-40 hours of use, depending on filter type)
A humble P100 elastomeric respirator from your local Home Depot or similar store! Magnitudes cheaper than the Flo mask (both the respirator itself and the filters)--however, I can't offer estimates for how often filters should be replaced. May not look pretty, but the most economical option for the highest degree of filtration if you aren't self-conscious.
General advice:
N95 or higher are the most reliable. They normally come with head straps, which offer better protection by making a tighter seal around your face.
But fit and comfort are the most important! Find a mask that fits your face and leaves the least amount of gap possible. KN95s are often more comfortable and breathable--find what's right for you.
You can wear different masks for different situations depending on risk level!
If you're hesitant to buy online, here's advice on how to tell if your respirator is legitimate.
A SIP drinking valve can be installed on any disposable mask to allow you to drink in public with less risk.
If anyone has other recommendations, please feel free to add!
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đ Workout Youtubers
I currently do exclusively pilates and yoga workouts from youtube. However, I've done other body weight workouts with various youtube videos and seen results in the past. Here is my list of workout youtubers that you could check out! I will put a * next to my personal favorites! I will include a short list of my current at home workout equipment at the end as well as some items I plan on buying soon!
With any workout program or routine, always be safe, check with your doctor if necessary, and if something doesn't feel good or right, don't do it! No matter what your goals are, it's always important to be safe and stay healthy. Please always take care of yourselves and know how beautiful, worthy and valuable you are no matter what! I love you all <333
đ©· Pilates
Move with Nicole * (also posts occasionally barre and yoga videos as well! I love her videos so so much)
Madeleine Abeid
IsaWelly
Pilatesbodyraven
Lidia Mera
Lottie Murphy
Amanda Blauer
Margaret Elizabeth
Jessica Valant Pilates
Bailey Brown
Dansique Fitness
Flow with Mira
Sivi (she's began posting some pilates inspired workouts and to my knowledge is currently getting certified as an instructor)
đ©· Yoga
Yoga with Adriene *
Yoga with Bird
Boho Beuatiful Yoga
đ©· Bodyweight Fitness/Strength/HIIT
Chloe Ting * (I don't like the click bait, but I like the workouts)
Blogilates
Pamela Reif *
Madfit *
Lilly Sabri * (Some of her videos are titled with pilates, but the older ones I used to do were not pilates, so I categorized her here)
Emi Wong
Shirlyn Kim
Vivian Yuan
April Han
growingannanas
growwithjo * (I love her walking workouts)
Hinafit
Mish Choi
Sami Clarke
Elenifit
Coach Kel (she posts what looks like more barre, ballet, pilates inspored/fusion workouts it seems)
Caroline Girvan
TRAIN WITH GAINSBYBRAINS
Daisy Keech
đ Current At Home Workout Equipment I Own
Thick Yoga Mat - since I do mainly yoga and pilates my thick yoga may (amazon brand) has served me well. Even tho I am a heavier woman at the moment, I've never had pain or any issues with this mat, and it came with a carry strap which I love! A good, thick workout mat is definitely necessary for working out at home for comfort, safety, etc. Make sure to disinfect it on occasion, especially if you sweat on it a lot!
Resistance Bands - I have about 3 or 4 at different resistance strengths, and they're incredibly useful for a variety of movements, especially lower body ones. They add some extra resistance and make the workouts a bit more challenging when you need something more advanced. I also got mine from Amazon/Walmart a while back. I prefer fabric over rubber because I like to wear workout shorts instead of workout leggings.
Pilates Ball - not a necessity, but useful with some pilates workouts and movements. I have seen sole videos using this, but am not advanced enough to try it on my own yet. Will use for sure once I'm more advanced.
3lb dumbbells - I thought these would be useful for the pilates workouts that had some upper body focus, and as someone who wants to develop a lean and toned upper body, they are perfect for low weight high rep, controlled movements. Again, not advanced enough to use as I want to master my form, but they're gonna come in handy for sure!
Foam Roller - so so good for stretching and muscle recovery on rest days. I love mine but want one that has the bump things on it to help my muscles more. I can imagine how good it'll feel on my legs during a recovery day when I begin wieght lifting again.
Massage Gun - my holy grail for the days I am sore and needing some recovery. my body feels like jelly after using this, and it's just so nice for the days my muscles feel extra tight and super sore.
đ Equipment I Want To Buy
Yoga Blocks - these will help me get deeper into the yoga poses once I get more advanced in my practice
Pilates Ring - this honestly looks so fun and challenging to use, I'd love to add it to my collection of useful workout equipment!
Jump Rope - I used to love this as a form of cardio and as long as I don't move into an upstairs apartment, I'm definitely buying one
Pilates Bar - still iffy on this one, it's supposed to mimic a reformer but I want to get better at mat pilates and see if I even end up ever needing or seriously wanting to buy it, its on my list tho
Ankle/Wrist weights - these are gonna be so useful for workouts where hand held dumbbells aren't useful. Want to buy some low weight ones just to help with resistance and extra strength during pilates workouts
Kettlebell weight - I think this would be useful for a workout at home type situation if and when I switch to not doing just pilates and yoga. I know these are useful in their own right, but not needed in my current fitness stage of life.
Core Sliders - these look fun and interesting. They're on my lost for sure, but not sure about the practicality of their use in my life just yet.
That's all that's currently on my at home workout equipment list! As someone who primarily works out at home, the things I currently own are most useful and most of what's on this list is for fun or extra challenge. Just not necessary yet.
hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any questions about my favorite youtuber workout instructors or favorite videos, please feel free to ask, I've tried so many and can give some guidance from my own experience and research.
til next time lovelies đ©·
#clean girl#coquette girl#feminine energy#it girl#pink pilates princess#wonyoungism#becoming that girl#pink moodboard#pink blog#pilates aesthetic#pink aesthetic#pilates tips#pink pilates girl#it girl energy#that girl energy#that girl#becoming her#high value woman#clean girl aesthetic#self love#self improvement#self care#college student#student life#health and fitness#wonyoung aesthetic#wonyongism#wonyoung motivation#fitness#fitness aesthetic
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Fun idea what about a gyaru! Reader, Like she tried to get attention for being high maintenance but no amount of spending will ever dent the fortune of the wayne
Girlie you spend over 1,500 dollars with my melody inspired nails , make up cost more than an entire state of Gotham High , always shopping in taobao or out thrifting. I can also imagine this reader active in social media (Tiktok , Instagram , youtube , and etc.,). Like those bimbo tiktokers who are actually smart? Yeah that is so you.
Bruce! He noticed you because he saw you making a youtube tutorial on how you do your makeup. He always thought he never influenced you since he barely talk with you , he felt proud about it having a normal child in his mind. He didn't ruined your mental health with this batman stuff. He genuinely did care , he thought having atleast one normal child who didn't have to risk their life to crime was a gift enough of him. When he heard you talk though... The way you speaked sounded too much like him. Not as batman but as Brucie Wayne.
The persona which he fabricated so no one can guess he is Batman, he knows you don't know anything about his Vigilante life so he had a epiphany. He never actually truly showed his real personality with you did he? He appeared to always been a playboy , party animal , sex addict , and himbo to the media. The way you talk is a mirror on his persona , it terrifies him it's ridiculous.
Eversince he started trying to "clean" you , he can't have you imitate his persona that will stump your development. He started always joining you to your nail sessions , makeup spree , and shopping clothes. He legit forces you to waterdown your style by cutting your allowance and monitoring you. He even learned makeup, specifically clean girl makeup or douyin cause he finds it adorable. He loves buying you elegant dresses from Dior , Vera wang , and Channel. He genuinely loves matching with you. His Brucie Wayne persona tames down just to set a example for you.
Damian! When he first saw you , he actually liked how colorful you are. He never once talked to you just because he assumed you were dumb and the family never converse about you. He didn't want to waste his breathe but that didn't mean he didn't find you stunning.
He loved painting , drawing , and using your color combinations of your outfits as an inspiration. You always thought he was glaring at you but the truth he is admirring your makeup , wig , and charms around your bag. He loved doddling you around his sketchbook. He started an insta account just to see fits he never got to see up close. The day he saw one of your reels about you talking about finance , politics , or any topic he was dumbstruck.
He started talking to you, it was awkward at first. The first thing he said was why you dressed like that. It didn't to sound insulting he just curious but you gave him a loopy smile saying why not. A moment to himself after that conversation he wanted to be closer to you. His sibling who so colorful and fun. He hated when Bruce started to "clean" you. He wanted to rip that man to shreds when he saw less of your vibrant long nails , and colorful wigs.
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đđđđđđđđ | đ.đ | đ *à©đàŒâ
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pt 1, pt 2 (completed)
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đđ: drug usage/selling, angst, college!harry, fem!reader, smut in pt2 if thatâs what ur here for, allusions to violence, friends to lovers if u squint
đđđđ đđđđđ: approx 13.8k
â i was trying to compress this into only being one part but i felt like each piece of them growing closer was too important to the plot to be deleted </3 but iâm posting pt 2 like right after this so !! btw this is so fratrry coded but bro is not in a frat. heâs just a broke college student that sells drugs fr
masterlist
off campus housing was a curse sometimes.
but, if you had the option between dorming it out or paying for an apartment yourself, maybe it could be categorized as both a blessing and a curse.
but for YN and harry, itâs just a curse.
a dorm wasnât in the cards for them in generalâit was hard enough drowning in loans for tuition itself, and adding thousands more for shitty campus housing was just overboard.
but still, the illusion of choice wouldâve been nice.
they lived in carson hall, off campus apartments that were filled to the brim with students. there mightâve been a few tenants in the building that werenât a student, but they were probably there for the same reason as everyone elseâaffordability.
$850 per month felt like a rarity, and it was pretty much unheard of in new york. so, if you were a broke student that couldnât dorm, this was your saving grace.
if the walls in the unit werenât brick, it was cheap drywall that had the paint chipping off. there was a radiator that broke every month like clockwork, sat right underneath a window with glass so thin it shook with the breeze.
there was no carpet except for in the main lobby, everything else was either tiled linoleum and creaky wooden floors installed in the 90âs. there was a communal laundry unit in the basement that required four quarters exactly, nothing else. sometimes itâd swallow the coins, sometimes it wouldnât, and sometimes itâd eat their coins and wouldnât turn on at all.
there was a maintenance man that lived on the first floorâliving there for half the rent since he was on call 24/7 on the weekdays to fix anything the apartment complex neededâbut youâd have to be the luckiest person on earth for him to respond. if the washer ate your quarters, chances are, you wonât be getting them back. and if the sink continued to drip water in rhythm with your heartbeat, youâd be better off watching a youtube tutorial on plumbing basics than calling for the maintenance guy.
but, it was four walls and a roofânot to mention, it was only a five minute walk from the dining hall (the heart of campus, obviously).
YN and harry didnât know each other, not exactly. they lived on the same floor, and harry was the guy that was known for dealing to make rent and loan payments.
and YN was the girl that always had sleepy eyes and smelt of vanilla and cinnamonâsugar and spice.
but that was it between them, fleeting glances of acknowledgment and the lingering scent of vanilla laced with weed in the hallway.
all until the first knock tapped against his door at one-thirty in the morning.
it was one of those nights where the due dates of assignments pressed down heavy, like it was daring you to breathe under the weight.
harryâs radiator was hissing again, spitting steam into his tiny apartment, a kind of mocking applause for everything breaking down. his desk was cluttered with blueprintsâhalf-sketched, smudged, unfinishedâand on the counter, the last edible he'd cut sat wrapped in foil, waiting for whoever was desperate enough to buy it.
the knock was soft. hesitant. not the kind of knock that screamed cops or where's the party? harry almost didn't get up. whatever it was, it could wait.
but something about itâhow it lingered, quiet but insistentâdragged him to the door. barefoot, wearing nothing but a ratty tshirt and sweatpants, he swung it open without bothering to check who it was.
YN.
the girl who always smelled like a fucking christmas cookie. she stood in the hallway like she'd been arguing with herself for hours, her arms wrapped around her torso to keep warm. she didn't say anything right away, just looked at him with wide, tired eyes.
harry leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. "are yâlost?"
her voice came out softer than he expected. âi needâŠsomething.â
he raised an eyebrow, scanning her quicklyâher pink sweatpants, the hoodie that was two sizes too big, the way she kept glancing at the floor like she hated being here. "that's specific. milk? a lightbulb? help moving a body?"
"for my roommate," she rushed, ignoring the bite in his tone. "she'sâshe's having a panic attack or something, some stupid argument with her boyfriend i thinkâand i don't have anything that can help."
harry stared at her.
her voice cracked, the desperation cutting through the cool front she was trying to hold. "it's late, and the pharmacies are closed, and i justâsomeone said you might have something."
"someone.â he repeated, pushing off the doorframe, his tone sharp enough to slice through her composure.
"please."
something about that word caught him off guard. not the word itself, but the way she said itâlike she was embarrassed to use it, like it physically hurt to ask him for anything. harry sighed, stepping back. "wait there."
he crossed the room to the counter, digging through the shoebox that held the operation he kept as low-key as possible. the old baggie of edibles rustled faintly in his hands, and for a second, he thought about saying no. this wasn't his problem.
but he grabbed one anyway, turning back to find her still standing in the hallway, arms wrapped tighter around herself. he shoved the baggie into her hand. "take this and go."
she hesitated, looking down at it. "is it safe?"
harry's laugh came out sharp and humorless. "you knock on my door at one in the morning, asking for something tâfix a panic attack, and you're worried about FDA approval? yeah, it's safe. sâlow-dose."
her fingers curled around the bag. "how much do i owe you?"
he shook his head, already tired of this conversation. "don't worry about it. just go."
YN started to turn, but her gaze caught on the cluttered desk in the cornerâblueprints stacked in uneven piles, a half-empty coffee cup balancing on the edge. "what's all that?" she asked, her voice quiet but curious.
"none of your business."
he stepped forward and shut the door before she could ask anything else. the lock clicked, and for a long second, he stood there, staring at the closed door, wondering why the hell he'd helped her at all.
*
friday nights strained. not the kind that made you feel like youâd accomplished something. no, this was the other kind. the kind that made harry want to throw his phone into the east river and spend the rest of the weekend in bed, ignoring the world.
by eight pm, the texts started rolling in like they always did.
can u drop to sigma chi?
emergency. we need molly asap. paying extra if u can get here by 10.
it wasnât glamorous. it wasnât even fun. but it paid the rent.
harry sat at his desk, staring at the mess of blueprints he hadnât touched all week, his phone lighting up next to him with another text. the math was simple: weed, molly, shrooms, lsd. nothing heavy, nothing messy, and no one under twenty-one.
he grabbed his backpack, already packed from the night beforeâa hollowed-out calculus textbook buried inside. it was beat to shit, but nobody looked twice at a guy carrying around a heavy book and a bookbag on campus.
the first stop was sigma chi. always sigma chi.
by the time he got there, the party was in full swing. the air reeked of spilled beer and too much cologne, bass pounding through the walls like a heartbeat that refused to die. harry slipped in through the side door, past a crowd of girls laughing too loudly and holding plastic cups like they were accessories.
the guy waiting for him was leaned against the fridge, his baseball cap turned backwards, a grin plastered on his face. âharry, my man!â
he didnât answer. didnât smile. instead, he reached into his bag and pulled out a small baggie, handing it over like he was exchanging a pack of gum. the guy shoved some crumpled twenties into harryâs hand, already too distracted by his phone to say anything else.
âyouâre a lifesaver, bro.â
he left through the back door without another word.
weekends were always like this. frat houses, dorm rooms, random street corners. most fridays, he had ten stops, maybe more if people got desperate.
his phone buzzed constantly. texts rolling in every fifteen minutes:
can you meet by the bodega?
do u have anything stronger? asking for a friend.
the last one made him roll his eyes. he didnât do stronger. stronger got people killed, got cops asking questions. harry wasnât stupid. this wasnât about partying or fun; it was money.
he started dealing during his first year at nyu. not because he wanted to, but because the scholarships didnât cover everything, and student loans only went so far.
at first, it was just weed. his guy, jeff, lived in brooklynâa family man with a college degree, a wife, and two kids. harry used to think guys like jeff had it figured out: the house in a decent neighborhood, the minivan parked out front, the soccer games on weekends. but his life was no more stable than harryâs.
jeffâs business wasnât just selling weedâit was growing it, right in his basement. his wife knew, of course. they kept it far from the kids, locked up tight behind a door that might as well have been a vault.
he hadnât started out as a dealer, either. he ran his own small businessâsome business marketing firm that couldnât compete with the bigger guys. now, the basement was his fallback, extra income, and harry couldnât help but see a version of himself in jeff. same fire, same hustle, same gnawing ache of more, more, more.
âthis isnât enough,â he had said one night, halfway through weighing a fresh batch. the house smelled faintly of citrus and pine, a scent jeff swore masked the weed smell. âyou ever thought about branching out?â
harry frowned, leaning back against the workbench âbranching out how?â
âpsychedelicsâshrooms, lsd. same crowd, bigger profit. no oneâs getting hooked, no oneâs overdosing. itâs clean.â
harryâs gut twisted. he didnât like the sound of itâtoo messy, too big. âi dunno, mate. weedâs easy. i donât want tâget in deeper.â
jeff leaned against the table, crossing his arms. âi get it. but youâre already in. and if you play it smart, you donât have to worry about the cops, or junkies, or any of that shit. i know a guy in the bronxâmutual friend. youâd like him. solid guy, clean product.â
he hesitated, his fingers tapping against the edge of the table. âyâreally think itâs worth it?â
jeff smiled faintly, shrugging. âdepends on what you want. if itâs just enough to scrape by, keep doing what youâre doing. but if you want to breathe a little? yeah. itâs worth it.â
harry didnât jump in right away.
it took a few weeks of thinking, weighing the risks against the reward. but eventually, he made the trip to the bronx. the guy jeff pointed him to was older, late thirties maybe, with a clean apartment and a habit of over-explaining. harry liked him immediately.
the product was good. better than he expected. shrooms, lsd tabs, packaged clean and easy to move. the kind of stuff that sold itself to the right crowd.
molly came later.
it started with frat guys asking for it at parties, offering triple what harry charged for weed. at first, he turned them down. molly was differentâharder to control, riskier. but the money kept knocking at his door, and harry, tired of scraping by, finally let it in.
his guy in the bronx knew a supplier. harry kept it lowkeyâlow doses, clean product, no bullshit. but it still weighed on him, the way every step deeper into this life felt like standing on thin ice.
jeff always said this kind of hustle didnât last forever. harry just hoped heâd find a way out before it swallowed him whole.
his voice stayed in his head more than he liked to admitâyou canât do this forever, kid. somethingâs gotta give.
but that was the problem, wasnât it? harry didnât know what would give firstâhis luck, his sanity, or the thin line he kept walking between survival and collapse.
the deeper he got into dealing, the more he saw how easy it was for people to lose themselves in it. not just the buyersâpeople like jeff, too.
there was this one night, months after harry started moving psychedelics. jeff had called him over, saying he had some fresh product he wanted harry to try. he drove out to brooklyn, expecting the usual.
but when he got there, he looked different. tired in a way that felt heavier.
âyou good?â he had asked, leaning against the workbench.
he nodded, but his hands trembled slightly as he sealed a bag. âyeah, just a long week. car broke down, furnace is acting up⊠you know how it is.â
he did. too well.
when he left that night, the bag of weed tucked into his backpack, he couldnât shake the thoughtâthis doesnât end well. jeff had everything harry thought he wantedâa family, a house, a life that looked solid from the outside. and still, it wasnât enough.
he lit a cigarette as he drove back to the city, the smoke curling around him in the dark car. he couldnât let this life be all there was. couldnât let it pull him down the same way it was pulling jeff.
but even as he told himself heâd find a way out, harryâs phone buzzed with another text, another buyer, another deal.
just enough was never enough.
he sighed, running a hand through his hair. he was tired. bone-tired. the kind of tired that lived in his spine and refused to leave, no matter how much sleep he got.
but he typed back anyway.
because this was life. grinding himself into the ground so someone else could forget their bullshit for a night.
and as much as he hated it, he couldnât afford to.
*
the rain wasnât letting up. the kind that soaked you through in seconds, cold and sharp like a thousand tiny needles stabbing your skin. the stairwell in the building was already a deathtrap on the best daysâcheap tiles, no traction, old wood.
he was on the couch when he heard it. a thud, heavy and hollow, like someone had dropped a bag of bricksâor fallen. then the curses followed, muffled but furious, the kind of sound that pulled him out of the half-sleep heâd been drifting into.
he sat up, rubbing a hand over his face. for a second, he thought about ignoring it. again, wasnât his problem. but something about the sound got under his skin.
grabbing the sweatshirt hanging off the back of the couch, he pulled it on and opened the door, peering out into the dimly lit hallway.
thatâs when he saw her.
sprawled on the stairs, her sweater soaked through, hair sticking to her face, and an armful of books scattered around her like shrapnel.
fucking christ, harry thought, leaning against the doorframe. he crossed his arms, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. âyou always this graceful, or is it a wednesday night special?â
she looked up, and if looks could kill, heâd have been dead on the spot. her cheeks were flushed, probably from a mix of frustration and exertion, and her jaw was clenched tight enough to crack. âare you always this much of an asshole, or do i just bring it out in you?â
harry let the smirk grow into something closer to a grin. âyou okay?â he asked, his tone half-mocking, half-genuine.
YN didnât answer right away. she was too busy untangling herself, her knee hitting the step as she tried to gather the mess of books and papers that had spilled everywhere.
harry sighed, pushing off the doorframe. âhold on.â
he jogged down the stairs, crouching to pick up a book near her feet. the cover was soaked, the pages already curling at the edges. he flipped it over in his hand, inspecting the damage. âyouâre gonna fail with this,â he said, holding it up. âthis thingâs toast.â
she snatched the book from him, glaring. âyouâre toast.â
he chuckled under his breath, bending to pick up another one. this time, it was a notebookâthick, overstuffed, with half the pages threatening to fall out. âwhat are you even carrying all this for?â
âthis is college, is it not?â
harry straightened, stacking the notebook on top of the book in her arms. âyouâre gonna wreck your back lugging all this around.â
ânot everyone has money for a decent bag.â she muttered, not looking at him as she grabbed the papers from his hand.
that made him pause. his jaw tightened, his usual sarcasm flickering into something harder, heavier. he opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then closed it just as fast.
he shifted, handing her the last book. âhere. try not to break your neck next time.â
she snorted, a bitter laugh slipping out before she could stop it. she pushed herself up, wincing as she shifted her weight onto her right leg.
âyou sure youâre okay?â harry asked again, watching the way she was favoring her left leg.
âiâm fine.â
âright.â harry muttered, crossing his arms as she started up the stairs. he followed her halfway up, more out of habit than concern, and watched as she struggled to balance her books against the wet fabric of her sweater.
when they reached the landing, she stopped, glancing back at him. âthanks,â she said, the word sounding like it physically hurt her to say.
harry shrugged. âdonât mention it.â
as she turned to head toward her apartment, she added over her shoulder, âno, seriously. donât.â
he smirked again, shaking his head as he watched her limp away. he didnât respond, just leaned against the wall, waiting until she disappeared into her unit before heading back to his own.
he dropped onto the couch, dragging a worn notebook off the coffee table and flipping it open. but his focus was shot. all he could picture was her on the stairsâsoaked, pissed, and too stubborn to admit she wasnât fine.
her comment stuck with him, too. not everyone has money for a decent bag. harry hated how much that hit home.
the world didnât give a shit if you couldnât afford what you needed. if you didnât have it, you improvised. it was why he was out here selling weed and molly to spoiled frat boys and girls with trust funds so deep they could drown in them.
he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. his phone buzzed on the armrest beside him, breaking the silence.
it was one of his regulars, some sophomore who thought a couple grams of shrooms would make her weekend transformative.
yeah. same spot. 9pm.
he tossed the phone onto the table, leaning back against the couch, the springs groaning under his weight. this was the life: fixing busted radiators, chasing down half-earned engineering credits, and grinding himself into the ground so some kid could take a trip theyâd forget by monday morning.
later that night, he was back out, a ballcap sat over his curls, backpack slung over his shoulder, heading to the usual corner just off washington square park. it wasnât raining anymore, but the streets were still slick, reflecting the city lights like oil spills.
he spotted the girl waiting for him, leaning against a lamppost with her arms crossed. she waved when she saw him, a little too eager.
the exchange was quick, the shrooms passing from his hand to hers, the cash tucked into his pocket in one smooth motion. no small talk, no lingering.
when he got home, the hallway was quiet, except for the faint hum of the fluorescent light overhead. YNâs door was closed, no sounds coming from the other side.
he paused for a second, staring at it. he shook his head, unlocking his door and stepping inside. the idea that popped into his brain was stupid, irrational. he didnât owe her anything. she was just the girl down the hall, who gave as much shit as she took.
but still, he dug into his closet, pulling out the old army surplus bag heâd stopped using after high school. it wasnât much, but it was better than what she had now.
the next morning, harry slipped out of his apartment early, the bag in hand. he dropped it just outside her door, no note, no explanation, before heading out to his first lecture of the day.
when YN found it later, she stared at it for a long moment, her brows knitting together. she didnât have to ask who left it. and even though she muttered asshole under her breath, she brought it inside with a faint smile.
because she needed it. and harryâwhether heâd admit it or notâknew that.
the next time they saw each other, he was coming up the stairs, his backpack slung low, the smell of rain clinging to his sweatshirt. it was lateânearly elevenâand he was tired, the kind of exhaustion that sank into his chest and refused to let go.
YN was coming down, her new bag bouncing lightly against her hip. she was in scrubs and a college hoodie, hair tied back, but there was a tension in her face that hadnât been there before. maybe it was the late hour, or maybe it was the unmistakable look of someone dragging themselves through another brutal shift.
they almost passed each other without a word. almost.
but as they crossed paths, she stopped, her hand gripping the railing. âhey.â
harry stopped mid-step, turning to look at her. âhey,â he echoed, noncommittal.
she tilted her head toward the bag. âthis you?â
he leaned against the railing, shrugging like it was no big deal. âneeded something better, right?â
her lips pressed into a thin line, her eyes narrowing like she was trying to figure out if he was messing with her. finally, she shook her head, letting out a dry laugh. âwhy, though? why do you care?â
he blinked, caught off guard. he didnât have an answer for thatâat least not one he could say out loud. instead, he shoved his hands into his pockets, shrugging again. âcall it charity,â he said. âor donât. i donât really care.â
YN stared at him for a moment longer, her expression unreadable. then she nodded, her grip on the railing loosening. âthanks,â she muttered, her tone softer this time.
âdonât mention it.â
but before he could take another step, she smiledâthe tiniest twitch upward. âno, seriously. donât.â
he smirked at that, glancing back over his shoulder. âyouâre welcome, cinnamon.â
her brows shot up at the nickname, her mouth opening to protest, but harry didnât stick around to hear it. he was already heading back to his apartment, a faint smile tugging at his lips despite himself.
that shouldâve been the end of it.
but the next day, when harry opened his door to grab the mail, there was a coffee cup sitting just outside, still warm, with no note or explanation.
he frowned, picking it up and staring at it like it might explode.
then, from down the hall, YNâs door opened, and she leaned out, raising an eyebrow at him. âdrink it or donâtâi donât care.â
he held up the cup, smirking. âwhatâs this? donations?â
âno,â she grinned, already retreating back inside. âjust paying it forward, asshole.â
the door clicked shut, and he stood there, shaking his head, the faintest chuckle escaping him as he sipped the coffee.
*
their classes in south hall were evening ones, usually letting out at nine pm sharp.
YN stepped out of the biology lab first, tugging her sleeves down against the chill that crept into the building after dark. her bag was slung over her shoulders, the college crewneck rumpled from hours of sitting in the same chair. her jeans were stiff from the cold, her shoes scuffed with wear, and her hair fell loose around her face, sticking slightly to her cheek. she brushed it back absently, her eyes on the door ahead.
harry caught sight of her from the second-floor stairwell as he left his chemistry lectureâa rolling stones hoodie hung loose on his frame, sweatpants sitting low on his hips, his green sambas (that he bought second hand, his proudest find) practically falling apart at the seams.
he hadnât planned on saying anything. hell, he wasnât even sure sheâd noticed him. but as he watched her push through the doors, her breath fogging in the cold, he felt something tug at him.
he hesitated for half a second before jogging down the stairs, his curls bouncing slightly as he caught up to her âhey.â
she glanced over her shoulder, her steps slowing just enough to register him. her brows furrowed when she saw him. âyouâre in chemistry,â she said, like it was an accusation.
harry blinked, a bit confused as to what she was hinting atâbut going with it anyway. âmâyeah. good observation, sherlock.â
âno, i mean,â she gestured vaguely behind her. âyour class is upstairs. whatâre you doing down here?â
harry shrugged, the corner of his mouth twitching. âwalking home. duh. our lectures must end at the same time.â
YN gave him a skeptical look, her pace picking up again as they stepped into the night. âyou donât have to do that,â she said quickly, her tone dismissive. âiâm fine.â
he fell into step beside her anyway, the straps of his backpack swinging slightly as he walked. âcool. didnât ask.â
her jaw tightened, and she shot him a look. âseriously, i donât need a babysitter.â
âgood,â harry muttered, unbothered. ââcause Iâm not volunteering.â
she sighed, tugging her bag closer to her body as they trudged through campus. the sound of their shoes against the pavement filled the space between them.
as they turned the corner, the streetlight flickered above, casting long, uneven shadows across the sidewalk. harry noticed the guy first.
it wasnât unusual to be sketched out by randoms over here, their apartment was on the edge of campusâlots of stragglers where university police didnât quite patrol.
he was leaning against a stop sign, his cigarette glowing faintly in the dark. his gaze was lazy, his posture too casual, the way people got when they wanted you to feel like they were watching you without actually looking.
harry stepped closer to YN without thinking, his shoulder brushing hers as he moved between her and the road.
âseriously?â she muttered, stopping mid-step to glare at him.
harry didnât look at her, his eyes locked forward as they passed. âwhat?â he asked, voice calm. âsaid iâd walk with you. didnât say i wouldnât get in the way.â
she scoffed, but she didnât pull away. he brushed it off, and in a way, she appreciated thatâthe way he acknowledged her nerves but didnât say anything. the way he acted like it was just a miss-step rather than a reassurance.
when they reached the entrance of their apartment building, YN stopped, finally turning to face him. her arms were crossed now, her expression sharp. âyou didnât have to do that.â
âyouâre welcome.â his eyebrows knit together in stifled laughter, looking straight past her as he opened the heavy door to their building, holding it open for her to walk through.
they went up the narrow stairwell quietly, each step creaking under their weight.
she pursed her lips, stepping past him to unlock her door. but just before she disappeared inside, she glanced back at him, her tone softer this time. âthanks, i guess.â
harry tilted his head, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. âdonât mention it.â
the door clicked shut behind her, and harry lingered for a second, staring at the empty hallway beyond. then he shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, turned, and headed to his own door. his rings clicked against his keys as he unlocked it, the faintest smirk still on his lips.
*
the walk back from the hospital felt longer tonight.
the clock had just ticked past ten, but the streets were alive with people heading to bars, parties, anywhere but where sheâd been. YN tugged on the sleeves of her hoodie, pulling them down farther, the fabric worn soft from too many washes. her scrub pants swished faintly as she walked, her badge clipped to her pocket, catching the glow of passing headlights.
her shift had been hell. the kind of night where you didnât have time to think, let alone breathe. a kid came in after a bad bike crash, his face pale, his leg bent in a way it shouldnât have been. then there was guy that coughed up blood over her sneakersânot to mention running around the er the entire rest of shift to do the work the nurses couldnât get to.
her feet dragged as she pushed through the door to her building, climbing the stairs to the second floor one step at a time.
the music hit her first.
it wasnât loud, just a faint rhythm seeping through the crack of harryâs door. something easy, mellow.
as she walked past his door, her steps slowed, her gaze flicking toward it. for a second, she lingered, her pulse ticking faster than it shouldâve. but then she kept walking.
she tried to focus on her own door, just a few steps away, but her mind wouldnât settle. work had been brutal. her roommate would be on a two hour facetime with her boyfriend, giggling about nothing. her friends were either pulling late shifts or at some frat house, three beers deep by now. and the quietâgod, the quietâwas going to eat her alive.
before she even realized what she was doing, she spun on her heel, walking back the way she came. her hand hesitated over harryâs door, her fingers curling into a loose fist before she knocked.
the door swung open after a moment, and there he was.
he stood there in loose jeans and an old band tee, his curls falling into his face like he hadnât bothered to push them back. the rings on his fingers glinted faintly in the dim light behind him, chipped black polish catching her eye.
âcinnamon,â he grinned, leaning one arm against the doorframe. his voice was low, amused. âwhatâs up?â
behind him, she saw the room wasnât empty.
lounging on harryâs couch was louis, a guy she vaguely recognized from her english lectureâhe was always late, always cracking jokes that somehow landed. and in the kitchen, leaning lazily against the counter, was a tall guy she didnât quite recognize.
she took the smallest step back, shaking her head. âsorry,â she mumbled quickly. âdidnât realize you had people over. never-mind.â
he raised an eyebrow, his gaze flicking from her to the empty hallway behind her. âyâsure? you lookâŠâ he trailed off, his lips quirking slightly. ârough.â
she glared at him. âthanks. really needed that.â
he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. âyouâre knocking on my door at ten oâclock, cinnamon. thatâs gotta be for a reason, yeah?â
she hesitated, her fingers twitching at her side. the guy in the kitchen glanced over briefly, then went back to whatever he was doing, and louis didnât seem to notice her at all. âforget it,â she muttered, stepping back again. âiâm fine.â
he didnât move, his eyes narrowed as they locked onto hers. âbullshit.â
her jaw tightened, her shoulders straightening. âi was just gonna ask if you had anything. you know, toâŠâ she gestured vaguely, avoiding his eyes. âtake the edge off.â
his smile returned, slow and knowing. âdidnât peg you as the type.â
YN glared again, her cheeks flushing slightly. âfor a dealer, youâre really bad at pushing sales.â she said flatly, spinning on her heel.
he chuckled lightly, stepping out into the hallway a bit. âhold on a sec.â
she paused, turning halfway back to face him.
he glanced over his shoulder, toward the couch and the kitchen, before meeting her eyes again. âcome back in ten,â he nodded. âiâll get rid of âem.â
she blinked, caught off guard. âyou donât have toââ
âi said ten.â he cut her off, his tone leaving no room for argument.
before she could say anything else, he stepped back into his apartment, the door clicking shut behind him. YN stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door like it might open again. she bit the inside of her lip, fidgeting with her key and going inside.
and at exactly 10 minutes, she was back in front of harryâs door.
this time, she didnât hesitate. she knocked twice, easier than before.
the door opened almost immediately.
harry stood there again, his curls pushed back out of his face this time. his expression was unreadable, somewhere between curiosity and amusement. âtold you ten minutes.â he stepped back, leaving the door open for her. âcâmon.â
his apartment wasnât what she expected, though she wasnât sure what sheâd pictured. it was small, dimly lit by a single desk lamp in the corner. the faint scent of weed hung in the air, but the room was surprisingly neat, except for a pile of papers and notebooks on the table.
lounging on the couch, louis was pulling on his jacket, his face lighting up in surprise when he saw her. âoh, hey. youâreâŠâ he snapped his fingers, squinting. âchem lab, right? morning lecture?â
YN nodded stiffly, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her hoodie. âenglish,â she corrected. âi see you there sometimes.â
âright, right,â louis said, grinning. he turned to harry. ânew buyer? good taste, man.â
harry rolled his eyes, stifling his own smile. âout.â he muttered, shoving a hand toward the door.
louis smirked but didnât argue. he grabbed his bag, tossing a wink at YN before stepping into the hallway. the guy in the kitchen followed, slipping past her without so much as a glance, the scent of cheap cologne trailing behind him.
he shut the door with a sharp click, locking it before turning to face her. âthere. happy?â
she crossed her arms, leaning against the wall near the door. âi didnât ask you to kick them out.â
âyou didnât have to.â
she sighed, her gaze shifting to the desk in the corner. the blueprints stacked there caught her attentionâclean lines, precise calculations, a world that felt miles away from hers.
âyou gonna tell me what you want, or are we just standing here all night?â
her eyes snapped back to his, the sharpness in his tone cutting through the haze of her thoughts. âgot anything thatâll knock me out for a few hours?â
he raised an eyebrow, walking past her to the desk. he opened a drawer, rummaging around before pulling out a small baggie with a single edible inside. âlow-dose,â he said, holding it up. âwonât knock you out, but itâll take the edge off.â
YN hesitated, glancing between him and the baggie. âhow much?â
harry shook his head, tossing it onto the counter. âon the house.â
âiâm notââ
âjust take it,â he interrupted, his tone firm. âcall it a favor. or a bribe. whatever makes you feel better.â
she stepped closer, picking up the baggie with careful fingers. her eyes flicked to his, searching for something she wasnât sure sheâd find. âthanks.â she muttered, her voice quieter now.
harry leaned against the edge of the counter, his arms crossed. âyou look like shit, by the way.â
she huffed, shoving the baggie into her hoodie pocket. âand youâre still a dick.â she shot back, heading for the door.
âfair enough.â he muttered. but just as she reached for the handle, his voice stopped her. âhey, cinnamon.â
she turned, her brow furrowed. âwhat?â
harryâs smirk softened slightly, the easy confidence in his tone faltering just enough to feel real. âyou ever wanna talk, you know where i live.â
YN didnât respond, didnât trust herself to. she just nodded once and slipped out the door, her footsteps fading down the hall.
the next day, it was closer to four pm when YN got home from work.
she barely noticed the faint buzz of her roommateâs call as she slipped into the bathroom, peeling off her scrubs and stepping under the hot spray of the shower. the water hit her like a reset button, the ache in her shoulders easing as the steam curled around her.
when she finally emerged, her hair damp and loose, she threw on a pair of soft sweatpants and an oversized sweaterâsomething warm, something safe. the apartment was quiet now, her roommate having left a while ago, probably off to see her boyfriend.
it was around six when the knock came.
YN glanced up from her laptop, her brows furrowing. she wasnât expecting anyone. she hesitated for a second, debating if she even wanted to answer, but curiosity won out.
when she opened the door, harry was leaning against the frame, his usual smirk softened into something more uncertain. he looked like heâd been pacing before this, his curls slightly disheveled, his hoodie hanging loose over a pair of black sweatpants.
âhey.â
YN raised an eyebrow. âhey.â
âyou any good at chem?â
she blinked, âchemistry?â
he nodded, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. âyeah. like, the basics. stoichiometry, balancing equations, all that shit.â
she tilted her head, leaning against the doorframe to mirror him. âi passed it with like an 85% so, i guess?â
he smiled, âfantastic. yâbusy right now?â
âwhy?â
âthought maybe you could help me out. iâve got a test coming up, and iâmâŠâ he trailed off, gesturing vaguely. ânot great at it.â
âyou want me to tutor you?â
he beamed, sarcastic, knowing. âsweet of you tâoffer. letâs go.â
she rolled her eyes but couldnât help the faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips. she sighed, pushing off the doorframe. âfine. but if iâm doing this, weâre going to the library. your apartment smells like weed, and i canât think in there.â
he chuckled, stepping back as she grabbed her bag from the couch. âfair enough, cinnamon.â
the campus library wasnât crowded, the usual sunday night stragglers scattered across the tables in hushed clusters. harry led her to a table in the back, far from the main entrance, where the buzz of conversation faded into the quiet hum of fluorescent lights.
he dropped his backpack onto the table, pulling out a battered notebook and a copy of the textbook that looked like it had been through hell. âalright, professor,â he said, smirking as he slid into the chair across from her. âteach me.â
âthis is gonna be painful, isnât it?â
harry grinned, flipping open the textbook. âprobably.â
she sighed, leaning forward. âokay, first questionâhow the hell did you even make it to college if you donât know the basics?â
harry shrugged, unbothered. âcharm and good looks.â
she groaned, dropping her pen onto the table. âyouâre gonna fail.â
âno,â he drawled with a smile, âthatâs why youâre here.â
despite herself, YN smiled, shaking her head as she reached for the textbook. âalright, letâs see what we can do.â
the first twenty minutes were pure pain.
she flipped through harryâs beat-up textbook, squinting at the faint pencil notes scrawled in the margins. âalright,â she muttered, tapping her pen against the page. âletâs start with balancing equations. thatâs pretty straightforward.â
harry slouched in his chair, spinning his pen between his fingers like he was bored out of his mind already. (and he was. if he was honest, he didnât need help with chem at all). âstraightforward for you, maybe. iâm just here trying not to flunk out.â
she furrowed her eyebrows, shooting him a look. âyouâre not gonna flunk out. you just need toââ she hesitated, searching for the right word. âtry.â
âiâm trying right now. see? look at all this effort.â he gestured toward the open book in front of him.
she sighed, leaning across the table and grabbing the pen out of his hand. âno. this is you sitting there, being useless. pay attention, harry.â
âyes, maâam.â he mumbled, sitting up slightly straighter. his voice carried the faintest edge of mockery, but he kept his eyes on her, watching as she wrote out a problem on a fresh sheet of paper.
after another ten minutes of stumbling through coefficients, YN thought she saw a flicker of understanding cross harryâs face. he pointed at the page. âso you just make the numbers match? like, both sides need the same amount of atoms?â
YN stared at him, deadpan. âyes. thatâs literally it.â
he leaned back, running a hand through his curls. âjesus. why the hell does it sound so much harder in class?â
âbecause you donât listen in class,â she laughed, âand iâm guessing you donât read the textbook either.â
he grinned, leaning forward again. âwhy would i, when youâre clearly better at explaining it?â
she rolled her eyes, turning the page in the book. âcharm and good looks only get you so far, harry. youâre gonna have to put some actual work into this.â
âoh, so you do think iâm charming.â
YN didnât dignify that with a response. instead, she handed him the pen and pointed to the next problem. âsolve it. no shortcuts, no guesses. i wanna see the work.â
he groaned but did as he was told, his brow furrowed as he scribbled on the page.
by the time the clock struck eight thirty, theyâd managed to get through most of the chapter. YN had to admitâhe wasnât completely hopeless.
and all he could do was smileâshe bought it. if engineering didnât work out, he thought, maybe he could be an actor. or a pathological liar.
âsee?â she said, leaning back in her chair. âyouâre not terrible at this. just lazy.â
harry huffed a laugh, closing the textbook with a loud thud. âlazy? you wound me, cinnamon.â
âyouâll live. anyway, i think weâre done for tonight. unless you wanna keep going?â
they walked out of the library together, the crisp night air hitting them like a wall. the campus was quiet now, most of the students holed up in their dorms or off at whatever weekend plans theyâd made.
as they reached the edge of the quad, he glanced at her. âthanks for helping me out.â
she shrugged, her hands tucked into her hoodie pocket. âno big deal. just donât make it a habit.â
âwhat if i do?â
YN shot him a look, her brow furrowing slightly. âthen youâre buying the coffee next time.â
harry chuckled, the sound low and warm in the cold air. âdeal.â
they reached the entrance, and YN hesitated for a moment before heading inside. ânight, harry.â
ânight, cinnamon.â
as the door clicked shut behind her, harry lingered on the steps for a moment, lighting a cigarette.
he smiled to himself again, he couldnât help it. he was proficient in math, one of his best subjectsâbordering the edge of genius, basically. but she didnât need to know that, not when he just stole a couple hours from her, not when it was the perfect excuse just to hang out with her.
it was wednesday when she next saw him.
the clock on YNâs laptop read 11:03 pm, the harsh blue light illuminating her tired eyes as she highlighted yet another passage in the dense textbook sprawled across her lap. the apartment was quiet, save for the occasional shuffle from her roommateâs room and the faint hum of traffic filtering in through the drafty window.
she hadnât moved from her spot on the couch in over an hour, legs curled under her, a growing pile of sticky notes cluttering the coffee table. her focus was razor-sharp, though her back ached from the awkward position sheâd settled into.
when the knock came, she didnât flinch. didnât even glance toward the door. she knew exactly who it was.
with a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips, she set her laptop down carefully, nudging it closer to the stack of notes as she rose from the couch. her socked feet padded softly across the floor, her hand instinctively reaching for the lock. she swung the door open and leaned against the frame, her shoulder pressed into the wood as she tilted her head to the side.
âcinnamonnnn,â harry drawled, his voice almost melodic, the nickname rolling off his tongue like it had been hers all her life.
he stood there in a slightly oversized sweater, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, a pair of gray sweatpants that were smaller than the ones from the other dayâjoggers maybe. a green packers beanie was snug over his curls, though a few stray strands peeked out, curling against his forehead. his hands were stuffed deep in his pockets, and he rocked back on his heels like he had all the time in the world.
YN narrowed her eyes slightly, the faintest smile ghosting her lips. âharryyyy,â she mimicked, dragging out his name in the same exaggerated tone.
âyou busy?â
yes. âno.â
his dimples deepened as his grin grew wider, like he knew sheâd lie. âhang out with me for a bit then.â
she let out a quiet laugh, crossing her arms over her chest. âto do what? itâs almost midnight.â
âcome walk with me.â
her lips parted slightly, a soft exhale escaping as she gave him a hesitant look. he didnât push, just waited, the silence between them comfortable, expectant. âyouâre such a bad influence,â she muttered, shaking her head as she turned back into the apartment.
âoh, yeah,â harry said, stepping forward to catch the door before it closed. âterrible.â
she tugged a sweater over her head, the fabric swallowing her as she slipped her feet into an old pair of sneakers. they were loose, the kind she could slip on without bothering with laces.
when she stepped past him, harry held the door open before letting it fall shut behind them as they ambled into the narrow hallway.
âwhere are we going?â YN asked as they descended the stairs, the cool air of the buildingâs lobby settling around them.
âyouâll see.â
she huffed, though the corners of her mouth tugged upward as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. he moved like the world waited for him, unhurried but purposeful, his long legs carrying him down the steps in easy strides.
when they pushed through the front door and into the night, the cold air hit her immediately, making her shiver as she stuffed her hands into her pockets.
their path wound deeper into campusâthe air quiet, save for the rustling of dead leaves underfoot and the occasional distant honk of a car. the faint glow of streetlights filtered through the thinning trees, casting long shadows across the cracked pavement.
harry walked slightly ahead, shoulders hunched against the cool air. she walked beside him, somewhat, perhaps a step behind, though the edge of her elbow would brush against his arm every so often. it wasnât an accident, not really.
their breaths puffed out in white clouds, swirling in the breeze before disappearing. the last of the dead leaves fell from the trees with a soft crackle, catching in the wind before tumbling to the ground.
his pace slowed slightly, letting her match him, and he nudged her with his shoulderâjust enough to jostle her. she looked up, her brow furrowing as she glanced at him.
âwhat was that for?â
he smirked, his gaze flicking ahead. âthought you were fallinâ asleep over there.â
she rolled her eyes but let her shoulder bump into his lightly as they walked. âsure. âcause nothing screams excitement like following you into the middle of nowhere.â
he let out a low chuckle, his breath visible in the cold air. âyouâre dramatic, you know that?â
âyou didnât answer the question earlier.â
âwhat question?â
âabout where weâre going,â she said, her voice teasing. âyou could be leading me astray so you can murder me without any witnesses.â
he turned his head to look at her, his brows lifting, âi did answer, you just didnât accept it.â he paused, pursing his lips as if he was in thought. âit would be a good plan, though. quiet enough out here. no oneâd hear a thing.â
she snorted, her steps faltering slightly as she tried not to laugh. âyouâre a terrible murderer. youâd leave a trail of evidence a mile wide.â
âwould not.â
âwould too.â
he turned to her fully now, his eyes narrowing as he stepped backward in front of her. his hands were still stuffed in his pockets, his pace matching hers even as he walked in reverse.
âalright, then,â he said, his voice laced with mock seriousness. âif i were to murder youâand thatâs a big if, by the wayâhow exactly would i screw it up?â
she bit back a smile, âwell, for starters, youâd forget to hide the body properly. probably just leave me in the middle of the path, thinking no one would notice.â
he let out a soft laugh, his shoulders shaking as he shook his head. âthatâs ridiculous.â
âis it?â YN countered, raising a brow. âyouâre the one who thinks this is a good place to kill someone.â
his grin widened, the faintest dimple appearing in his cheek. âyouâre paranoid, cinnamon. thatâs your problem.â
âand youâre too cocky. thatâs yours.â
they fell into a rhythm again, walking side by side as the breeze picked up, carrying with it the faint scent of city streets and damp leaves. their arms brushed again, neither of them pulling away, the warmth of the contact lingering longer than it should.
harry glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, the smirk on his lips softening slightly. âfor the record,â he said, his voice quieter now, âi know exactly where iâm going.â
she smiled, her gaze fixed on the path ahead. âgood,â she said lightly. âcause iâd hate to have to come back and haunt you if you got me lost.â
their steps grew softer as the buildings behind them thinned out, replaced by clusters of trees swaying in the light breeze. the path curved slightly, the faint hum of traffic fading into the distance.
he walked slightly ahead, his head turning now and then to glance at the towering oaks that lined their path. the trees began to part, revealing the outline of icahn stadium in the near distance. the track and field stretched wide beneath the faint glow of a single overhead light, casting long shadows across the ground. the bleachers stood tall and imposing, their sea of blue seats reaching into the sky like a wave frozen in time.
harry slowed to a stop as they approached, the chain-link fence surrounding the stadium standing between them and the field. he didnât guide her toward the gate, knowing it would be locked after hours. instead, he stepped closer to the fence, pulling his hand out of his pocket and giving one of the links an experimental tug.
she watched him, her brow furrowing slightly. âif you think weâre going on a run,â she said, her voice flat, âyouâve completely lost it.â
he let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head as his fingers curled around the chain link. he glanced at her over his shoulder, âshut up and câmere, cinnamon.â
YN hesitated for half a second, then stepped forward, the grass folding beneath her sneakers. the light breeze brushed against her skin, carrying the faint scent of earth and damp metal. he stepped back slightly, giving her room as she reached for the fence. without waiting for further instruction, she started to climb, her hands gripping the cold metal tightly as she hauled herself upward.
he watched her movements closely, his hands hovering near her hips in case she wobbled. âi got you,â he muttered, his voice soft enough to blend with the wind.
she didnât respond, focusing instead on the rhythmic pull of her arms as she reached the top of the fence. for a moment, she perched there, the view of the stadium stretching out before her, before swinging one leg over and carefully lowering herself to the other side.
harry gave the fence one last tug, then started climbing after her. his movements were quick and efficient, as though heâd done this a hundred times before. his sleeve bunched at his elbows as he reached the top, pausing briefly to glance down at her. âhowâs the weather down there?â
she glanced up, brushing her hands off on her pants. âyouâd better not fall. iâm not catching you.â
he let out a low chuckle, shaking his head as he swung over the top and landed easily on the grass beside her. âwasnât planning on it,â he breathed, brushing his hands off before shoving them back into his pockets.
they stood there for a moment, the quiet of the field settling around them like a blanket. the overhead light flickered slightly, casting their shadows long and thin against the ground.
she stared at him for a moment, then sighed, shaking her head as she followed him. âyouâve got way too much energy for this late at night.â
âand you were too stubborn tâsay no.â harry shot back as he walked ahead, his steps light against the rubber surface. âused to hate running, yâknow,â he breathed, glancing at YN as he spun around. he walked backward with an ease that made her slightly nervous, like heâd trip over himself any second but never actually would. âhated everything about itâyour legs aching, your chest burninâ, that horrible feeling in your throat after.â
she caught up, her pace steady as she smiled faintly, her breath visible in the cool air. ânow itâs your thing.â
he paused for a split second, his eyes catching hers in that unreadable way of his. then, to her surprise, he smiled. âyeah,â he nodded slightly. ânow itâs my thing.â
the bleachers loomed ahead, their steel frame groaning faintly in the wind. harry reached them first, stepping aside to let her go up. âgo on,â he muttered, gesturing upward with a nod. âall the way to the top.â
âwhat, youâre not going to race me?â
he smiled, his hand brushing against the cold metal railing. âwouldnât be fair. your legs are shorter than mine.â
she narrowed her eyes but couldnât help the faint laugh that slipped out. âwow. okay. guess iâll just take my time then.â
she started up the concrete steps, her hands gripping the railings on either side. the cold bit at her palms, but she ignored it, focusing instead on the steady rhythm of her feet against the uneven surface.
harry followed a few steps behind, his stride naturally longer than hers. âthis is painful tâwatch,â he drawled, his voice laced with mockery. âare you always this slow, or is it just for me?â
YN stopped abruptly, her hands tightening around the railings as she shifted her weight. her hips jutted out slightly, throwing him off balance as he climbed.
he cursed under his breath, his hands instinctively reaching out to steady himself. his fingers found her hips, his grip firm but fleeting, as though he realized too late what heâd done. âjesus,â he muttered, pulling back as quickly as heâd touched her. âbit dramatic, donât you think?â
she turned her head just enough to catch the faint flush creeping up his neck. she smirked, leaning her weight into the railing. âsorryâshorter legs and all.â
harry just blinked before the corner of his mouth twitched. he stepped back, his expression a mix of annoyance and reluctant amusement. âyouâre a child.â
she laughed softly, turning back to the stairs and continuing her climb. âyeah,â she called over her shoulder, her voice teasing. âbut youâre still following me.â
they climbed higher, the steps echoing faintly beneath their feet, but harry's pace started to falter againârestlessness bleeding into his movements. "oh, for god's sake," he laughed, his patience snapping like a brittle thread. his fingers drummed against the railing briefly before he stopped altogether, grasping onto her wrist.
his grin was lopsided, dimples flashing as he let go of her hand and flung himself past her, his long legs taking the steps two at a time as he rushed toward the top. only a second and a half later, she met him up there, finding him standing there with a proud grin, his hands resting on his hips like he'd just conquered something monumental.
âimpatience isnât a virtue, by the way.â
he kept his smile, his dimples cutting deep as he lifted his hand in front of her face, palm out. his fingers wiggled dramatically, âtalk to the hand, sista."
she paused, staring at him like she wasn't sure whether to laugh or push him off the railing. her expression cracked first, laughter spilling out before she could stop it. she swatted his hand away from her face as they leaned into each other, his own giggles breaking free in a low, rumbling sound that shook through him.
their laughter folded into each other, her shoulder pressing lightly into his chest as she tried to steady herself, his larger frame giving way slightly under the weight of their shared amusement.
harryâs laughter softened as he reached up, his fingers tugging at the edge of his packers beanie. his curls bounced free as he pulled it off, the cold air nipping at his now-exposed hair. without a word, he stretched his arm around her, carefully plopping the hat onto her head.
âwhat are you doing?â she asked, her voice laced with with something delicate as she adjusted it, the oversized beanie swallowing her hair and tilting slightly to one side.
âyou looked cold,â he said, shrugging as if it wasnât a big deal. his fingers lingered at the edge of the beanie for just a second before he gave her forehead a gentle push with the flat of his palm.
it wasnât hardâjust enough to tip her head backward a little, like an afterthought, his grin barely contained as she blinked up at him.
âseriously?â YN smiled, tilting her head forward again, a faint laugh escaping as she fixed the hat and gave him a mock glare.
he didnât reply, already stepping to his left with an exaggerated flourish, gesturing toward the narrow row of faded blue seats that stretched across the top of the bleachers. âcâmon.â
he slid into one of the seats first, his long legs folding awkwardly into the tight space as he leaned back and let out a contented sigh. he patted the seat beside him without looking at her.
she hesitated for a beat, brushing her hair out of her face before following him into the row. the cold metal of the seat pressed through her sweats as she sat down beside him, her knees brushing against his for just a second as she settled.
she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. harryâs beanie slipped forward slightly, brushing against her eyebrows, but she didnât bother adjusting it. instead, she rested her chin on her knees, her gaze drifting across the empty field below as the wind whistled faintly through the bleachers.
he shifted beside her, digging into the pocket of his sweats. his movements were easy as he pulled out a slightly crumpled pack of cigarettes and a lime green lighter. sliding a cigarette between his lips, he leaned back, flicking the lighter once, twice
nothing.
his fingers were stiff from the cold, the wind catching the flame before it had a chance to hold. he tried again, his brows furrowing slightly as he muttered something under his breath.
YN turned her head, watching him with quiet curiosity. âyou good over there?â
harryâs lips quirked around the cigarette. âjust peachy,â he mumbled, his voice muffled as he tried one more time.
without a word, she reached over, her fingers brushing against his as she took the lighter from him. âhold still,â she murmured, leaning sideways as she cupped her hand over the cigarette perched between his lips, shielding it from the breeze.
her movements were practiced, easy, like sheâd done this a hundred times before. she flicked the lighter once, and the small flame sprang to life, steady this time. she lit the end of the cigarette, her hand still shielding it from the wind as she glanced up at him. âthere.â
harry took a drag, the ember glowing softly in the dim light, and exhaled a thin stream of smoke. his gaze flicked to her, an unreadable expression crossing his face before his lips tilted into a small, lopsided grin.
she shifted back into her seat and pulled the beanie lower over her ears, her chin finding its place against her knees again. they sat in the quiet for a while, the whispers of the wind weaving around them, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves or harryâs exhales.
she looked him over, the way his curls danced around his face, the way his lips wrapped around the cigarette, how the emberâs reflection flickered in his eyes. she bit the inside of her cheek before she muttered softly, almost to herself, âyouâre british.â
he let out a breathy chuckle, the sound slipping through his nose as he took another pull from the cigarette. he sighed slowly, the smoke curling up into the cold night air before he turned his head toward her, his smirk faint but amused. âgood eye, sherlock.â
she kissed her teeth, rolling her eyes as she prepared to retort, her lips partingâ
but harry cut her off before she could. ââcheshire,â he breathed, the word rolling off his tongue in a way that caught her off guard, soft and lilting. âborn there, anyway. mum moved me and my sister here when i was thirteen.â
âfor a job or..?â
he nodded, the glow of the cigarette tip briefly lighting his features as he took another drag. âshe got an offer she couldnât turn down. packed us up, left everything behind. started over.â
YN tilted her head slightly, watching the way his gaze lingered on the field below, distant but steady. âmustâve been hard.â
he shrugged, âit was⊠weird. missing home, trying tâfit in here. but she did what she had to do. mumâs always been good at thatâdoing what has to be done.â
there was a warmth in his voice, a quiet admiration that made her chest tighten. she didnât push for more, sensing that heâd already said more than he usually would. âyour accent is starting to fade,â she said instead, her lips curving into a small smile.
he smiled faintly, flicking the ash from his cigarette. âguess so. comes back strong when iâm drunk, though.â
she laughed softly, shaking her head as she turned her eyes back to the field.
he shifted slightly in his seat, his arm brushing hers as he glanced over, his cigarette dangling lazily between his fingers. âwhat about you?â
she blinked, turning her head toward him. âme?â
âyes, you. whereâs home?â
she hesitated for a moment, âabout an hour north,â she mumbled, her voice carrying the faintest edge of something wistful. âright on the border between here and connecticut.â
he nodded, leaning back slightly as he tilted his head toward her. âfamily?â
YN huffed a quiet breath, her lips curving into a small, tired smile. âbrotherâs in the army. mom and dad work all the time. and iâm just here.â
his brow furrowed slightly, his eyes studying her for a moment, thoughtful and quiet. âjust here?â
she shrugged, hugging her knees closer to her chest as she rested her chin on them again. âyeah. theyâre busy, you know? always have been. itâs not bad or anything, itâs just⊠how it is.â
harry didnât respond right away, the glow of his cigarette catching the faint flicker of emotion in his gaze. âyou donât go home much, then.â
âno. theyâre fine without me. and iâve got everything i need here. school, this place⊠the occasional packers beanie to keep me warm.â
he chuckled gently at that, the sound low and warm as he reached out to tug the edge of the beanie further down over her ears.
YN tilted her head slightly, her gaze fixed on the horizon as she broke the silence with a question that felt heavier than the moment. âever fall in love?â
he turned to her, his brows furrowing slightly at the unexpectedness of it. he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees, cigarette still lit between his fingers. âonce or twice.â
she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, her lips twitching into a faint, almost knowing smile. âyeah,â she said softly. âme too. once or twice.â
his eyes lingered on her, studying the curve of her profile in the dim light. âwhat happened?â
âlife, i guess. we grew apart, wanted different things.â she paused, her fingers idly tugging at her sleeves. âit wasnât awful. just⊠wasnât meant to be.â
he nodded slowly, his eyes drifting to the field below as he leaned back again, stretching his legs out in front of him.âsame here.â he sighed. âthings got complicated. fell apart before it could really go anywhere.â
YN turned to face him fully now, her cheek resting on her knees as she studied him. âdo you think itâs worth it?â
âwhat, love?â
she nodded.
he was quiet for a beat, his features softening as he mulled over her question. âyeah,â he said finally, his voice low but certain. âfor the right person.â
silence.
ââhe treat you right?â
âwhat?â
he flicked the ash off the tip of his cigarette. âthe guy you loved. did he treat you right?â
she hesitated before she nodded, check still flush against her knees. âmost of the time.â
his jaw twitched at her answer, âmost of the time isnât enough, yâknow?â
âthink you could do better?â she teased lightly, though there was an edge of genuine curiosity in her tone.
harry turned to her then, his eyes meeting hers, the corner of his mouth twitching into the faintest smirk. âyeah,â he said simply, taking another drag. âi know i could.â
her cheeks flushed slightly, but she didnât look away. instead, she lifted her chin off her knees, her lips curving into a small, sly smile. âyeah right, harry.â
âi donât say shit i donât mean, cinnamon. not like that.â
YN didnât respond, just shook her head faintly as she turned her head back to the field, her chest tightening in a way she didnât quite know how to name.
he stayed quiet too, the silence settling over them again, but this time it felt heavier, charged with something unspoken that neither of them was ready to unpack.
he let the cigarette drop to the concrete, the faint glow of its ember dying as he ground it under his sneaker. the scrape of rubber against stone was sharp in the quiet, and then he straightened, towering over YN as her gaze followed him.
âletâs go,â he mumbled, his voice even but lacking the warmth it held earlier.
something had shifted.
it was subtleâbarely a flickerâbut she felt it. the easy banter from earlier seemed to pull back, replaced by something quieter, something more guarded.
she didnât question it, though. not yet.
harry gestured toward the steps, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he waited for her to stand.
she sighed softly, pulling his packers beanie tighter over her ears as she rose, the cold biting at her cheeks while she fell into step beside him as they made their way back down the bleachers.
when they reached the chain-link fence again, harry stepped forward first, gripping the metal links as he tested its sturdiness like he had before. he didnât say anything, only nodded toward the fence as he stepped aside to let her climb.
YN rolled her eyes but moved toward it anyway, her hands curling around the cold metal as she pulled herself up. harryâs hands hovered near her hips just as they had earlier.
she glanced down briefly to meet his eyes before she swung her leg over the top and climbed down the other side.
he followed quickly, his movements smooth and quick, landing on the grass beside her with barely a sound. they fell into step together on the walk back, the cool night air nipping at exposed skin as the distant hum of traffic filled the silence.
harryâs hands stayed buried in his pockets, his head slightly lowered as his long strides matched her shorter ones.
she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, sensing the subtle shift in his demeanor. he wasnât closed off, not entirely, but there was a distance now, like he was holding something back. "you okay?" she asked softly, her voice cutting through the silence.
"mm-hm,â he hummed, his tone even, but distant. "you?"
she nodded, even though something about his shift made her chest feel heavier. "yeah."
she didnât press, didnât push. instead, she let the silence stretch between them as their footsteps echoed softly against the pavement.
by the time they reached their building, the city felt quieter, the world around them settling into the stillness of the late night.
and though neither of them said a word as they split, the weight of the unspoken things between them lingered, threading itself into the space they shared.
another few days passed, and the walk back to the apartment felt lighter than usual.
YN had just said goodbye to a friend before rounding the corner to the building, her smile lingering as she adjusted the strap of her bag. it wasnât often she felt this at ease.
but that lightness disappeared the moment she reached the stairwell.
as she climbed to their floor, her eyes landed on harry. he was standing at his door, his shoulders tense, his head down. his key trembled in his hand, the metal scraping against the lock as he missed the slot for what had to be the third time.
it was wrong. harry was steady. always steady. whether he was handing off a bag of weed or walking down the street like the world revolved around him, he had this uncanny knack for keeping his cool.
but not tonight.
she slowed her steps, her brow furrowing as she got closer. âharry?â her voice cut through the stillness, sharper than she intended.
his head snapped up. for a brief moment, she saw something raw in his eyesâpanic, maybeâbut it was gone as quickly as it came. his mouth twisted into a faint smile, the one he always wore like armor. âyouâre back early.â his voice was rough, low, like heâd been grinding it against a wall.
she took a step closer, her eyes scanning him. âwas about to say the same thing.â her gaze flicked to his hand, the one holding the key, the knuckles split and bruised.
âwhat happened to your hand?â
he stiffened, tucking the injured hand into his hoodie pocket. ânothingâ.â
âbullshit,â she muttered, shoving her keys and phone into her pockets to free her hands. âlet me see.â
he let out a sharp, humorless laugh, shaking his head. âdonât worry about it, cinnamon.â
the nickname barely registered; her focus stayed on him, on the tension in his shoulders, the blood crusting his knuckles. âharry,â she said, her tone firmer now. âyouâre bleeding. just let meââ
âitâs fine!â he shouted, his voice cutting.
YN snapped her head back up, averting her gaze from his hidden hands, right to his eyes. his chest rose and fell, his breathing shallow and uneven. she didnât speak, just stood there, watching the way his jaw tightened like he was trying to swallow something bitter.
he finally sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. âfuck.âhe mumbled, almost to himself.
she moved closer again, slower this time, her voice softer. âlet me help.â
his eyes flicked to hers, guarded but not as sharp. his lips parted, like he wanted to argue, but no words came out.
inside her apartment, the air felt too still, too quiet.
harry sat stiffly at her small kitchen table, his hoodie now pushed back to reveal the messy curls tumbling over his forehead. he cradled his injured hand in his lap, his jaw set as YN dug through her cabinet for the first aid kit.
âyou really donât have to do this,â he muttered, his voice low.
âyeah, well,â she sighed, pulling the kit down with a thud. âiâm doing it anyway.â
when she sat across from him, the silence between them grew heavy. she reached for his hand, but he hesitated, his fingers curling slightly.
âharry.â
he huffed but relented, letting her take his hand in hers.
the damage was worse up close. his knuckles were split and swollen, streaks of blood staining the spaces between his fingers. she inhaled sharply, her brows knitting as she reached for the antiseptic.
âjesus,â she muttered, shaking her head. âwhat the hell did you do?â
he didnât answer right away, his eyes fixed on the floor. when he finally spoke, his voice was flat. âran into someone.â
she paused, the antiseptic-soaked cotton ball hovering over his knuckles. âlike?â
âsomeone who didnât want to pay up front.â
her stomach twisted. she pressed the cotton to his knuckles, and he hissed through his teeth, his fingers twitching under hers.
âhold still.â she murmured, her voice softer, airy.
he didnât respond, just watched her work. her touch was careful but firm, her hands steady as she cleaned the cuts.
âyou canât keep doing this.â she said quietly, not looking up.
harryâs lips twitched, a dry laugh escaping him. âyou worried about me?â
YN shot him a look, her expression somewhere between annoyance and concern. âmaybe, harry. you ever think about that?â
his smile faded, and for a moment, his eyes softenedâjust a fraction, but enough for her to notice. âitâs nothing.â
âitâs not nothing.ââ she countered, wrapping a clean bandage around his hand. âyouâre gonna get yourself killed.â
âmaybe.â he whispered, watching her tie off the bandage.
âand youâre okay with that?â
his gaze flicked up to hers, and for a moment, something vulnerable passed between themâsomething unspoken but heavy. âdepends on the day.â
she swallowed hard, her fingers lingering on the edge of the bandage before she leaned back.
âyouâre an idiot.â she grumbled, standing to put the kit back in its place.
he grinned faintly, flexing his fingers against the bandage. âyeah, but youâre still patchinâ me up, arenât you?â
she glanced over her shoulder, her lips pressing into a thin line. âsomeone has to.â
he stood, his frame filling the small kitchen as he neared the door.
âharry?â
he glanced back, his eyes soft as he looked at her expectantly.
âplease be careful.â
his jaw clenched before he managed a tight nod, and then the door clicked shut behind him, leaving YN alone in the silence, the weight of his wordsâand his presenceâlingering in the air.
it was thursday again, and the walk back from their evening lecture became an unspoken agreement.
it wasnât something they talked aboutâthere were no texts exchanged or plans made. but every tuesday and thursday, as the evening classes let out, theyâd meet by the lecture hallâs exit. sometimes harry would already be there, leaning against the wall, pretending he wasnât waiting. other times, YN would hang back near the doors, scrolling through her phone until she saw him.
tonight was no different.
harry was already outside when she came out of her bio lab, her bag slung over her shoulder and her hair a little messy from tying and retying it during the experiment. he fell into step beside her as they turned toward home, his bandaged hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, his backpack slung low over one shoulder.
âthat bad?â he asked, glancing at her as she adjusted her strap.
she sighed, shaking her head. âsome idiot forgot to label their samples, so the whole lab got an extra hour of letâs go over the basics again.â
harry chuckled, the sound low and warm. âyou lot are a buncha losers, huh?â
âsays the guy whoâs probably failing chem,â she shot back, grinning.
he shrugged, unbotheredâsimply because it wasnât true. âaggressively coasting.â he corrected.
what she doesnât know wonât hurt her.
she rolled her eyes, giggling despite herself. the conversation drifted, easy and familiar, as they made their way through campus.
it was when they turned onto the last block before their building that harry stopped.
she noticed it immediatelyâthe way his body went still, his eyes narrowing as they flicked to the other side of the street.
a man stood there, leaning against a lamppost, his hands shoved into the pockets of a heavy coat. he wasnât doing anythingânot technicallyâbut there was something about the way he stared at the buildingâs exit that set harry on edge.
âgo inside.â
she frowned, looking at him. âwhat?â
harryâs jaw clenched, his eyes never leaving the man across the street. âjust go inside, YN.â
her confusion deepened as she followed his gaze. âharry, whatâs going on?â
he turned to her then, his expression sharper than sheâd ever seen it. âi said go the fuck inside.â he snapped, his voice low, bitingâthe words cutting through the cool evening air like glass.
she flinched, her eyes widening slightly. but before she could say anything, harry was already crossing the street, his shoulders squared and his hands shoved into his pockets.
she stayed where she was, her heart racing as she watched the scene unfold.
harry approached the man with a deliberate calm, his posture loose but his movements sharp. she couldnât hear the first thing he said, but the man straightened immediately, his eyes narrowing as he looked harry up and down.
the conversation wasnât loud, but it was tenseâharryâs voice low, steady, while the manâs tone was sharper, more aggressive.
she could only catch snippets.
the man stepped closer, his hands twitching at his sides, and for a moment, YN thought it was going to escalate. but harry didnât flinch. he held his ground, his voice even as he spoke again.
finally, the man pulled something from his pocketâa small bag, crumpled and poorly sealedâand shoved it into harryâs hand. he gave him a look, muttering something under his breath before turning on his heel.
he crossed the street, his shoulders tense, his face hard as stone. when he reached YN, he brushed past herâhis shoulder catching hers, a silent signal that screamed follow me.
she hesitated, but only for a second before trailing after him. he didnât look back as he pushed through the front door of their building, letting it slam shut behind them.
the silence between them stretched thin as they climbed the stairs, harry taking them two at a time, YN struggling to keep up with his longer stride.
âharry,â she started, her breath slightly uneven, âwhat the hell just happened?â
he didnât answer, his hand gripping the stairwell railing tightly enough that his knuckles whitened.
âdonât ignore me,â she pressed, her voice sharper now. âwho was that guy? why were you acting likeââ
âdrop it, YN.â he muttered, his voice sharp and clipped, but she wasnât having it.
âno, iâm not dropping it!â she snapped, her tone cutting through the empty stairwell. âyou donât get to just walk away from this without explaining. i saw the way you looked at him. you knew him, didnât you?â
he reached their floor and stopped abruptly in the middle of the hall, his back still to her.
âyou knew he was trouble the second you saw him,â she continued, stepping closer. âso tell me why, harry. whatâs going onâare you okay?â
he turned then, spinning on his heel so fast that she nearly bumped into him. his eyes were clouded, sharp, and for a moment, the force of his glare made her breath catch. âsïżœïżœïżœnot your fucking concern, YN.â he spat, his voice cold and low, each word biting like frost. âitâs not like weâre friends. so just fucking stop.â
she froze mid-sentence, her jaw slack as the words sank in.
harryâs breathing was uneven, his hands balled into fists at his sides, but he didnât look away.
she closed her mouth, her lips pressing into a thin line as her eyes stayed locked on his. after a long pause, she gave a single, curt nod. âgot it.â
her voice was quiet but sharp, like the edge of a knife.
she stepped around him, her gaze never wavering as she turned toward her unit. the weight of her presence lingered, heavy and unforgiving, even as she unlocked her door and disappeared inside.
he stood there for a moment, staring at the empty hallway. his chest felt tight, his fists still clenched, but he didnât move. he didnât look for her.
because if he had, he wouldâve followed her. and he wasnât sure what heâd sayâor if it would even make a difference.
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BASIC ACC FREINDLY LIGHT PINK MINIMAL CARRD
Hiii guys, to the comments and everyone i apologize for the inconvenience of the title and everything, the carrd was free at one point but many people kept stealing the carrd and removing creds and giving copies of the carrd and saying they made it. I had sent out posts on here and my discord server letting everyone know if it didn't stop i would start charging for the carrd or just take it away all together and it got progressively worse so i decided to change it to a paid carrd and realized after a couple comments about it on this post that i forgot to change the post and take away the parts where i said free, if you would like the carrd for free there is a tut up on my youtube channel (linked in my pinned post or comms carrd i believe) for it but i won't be giving out copies or temps of it anymore besides the paid one thank you!!
HIIII everyone here's a new carrd! obtain it here look at it here!
REQS ARE OPEN FOR CARRDS!! only req i have is to be following me to ask for a carrd! and I DO CARRD COMMS!! so if you have a specific carrd you want made message abt my prices and what i take!! Donate tips to me so im able to continue making free carrds here! use my referral code also to help donate and get some money off on buying pro here / use the code manually HXYLINÂ !
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HEADKANONS | JOHNNY CAGE MK1 WITH S/O
A/N: Yes, he's my favorite, please make requests for me with this man, I need ideas, I need requests- I'm obsessed for him. Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post.
TW: sfw, smut, fluff, sex, sexual positions, afab reader, pet names, vaginal sex, oral m!re. | f!re |, degradation, daddykink.
SFW:
Johnny Cage is the typical golden retriever boyfriend, he will want your attention because we know he is an attention slut, not only applies to his fans but also to you, you need to keep in mind that when Johnny wants your attention, He'll get it one way or another, whether it's sending you countless messages, asking you for affection, or even begging you to stay with him, if you're the type to get angry and punish him with silence, he'll be very upset. bad, even becoming physically ill.
He loves being emotionally pampered, a lot of cuddling with him with his head in your lap, while the two of you watch a movie together in the living room of his mansion, while you massage his scalp and the light brown locks of his silky hair, he would be happy. smiling like a fool in love - which he is - even if you pointed it out, he would deny it with some typical joke of his, if you threaten to leave his side or stop making out with him he will pout and complain, a lot.
He also likes tight arms just enjoying the silence between the two of you, chaste kisses on his forehead or cheek are welcome, especially if you wear lipstick or gloss, he will smile sideways and run his fingers through the warm residue on your lips on his skin.
Johnny likes to show you on all his social networks, always taking selfies with you and posting them, stories talking to his fans but always with you by his side, he loves sharing some couple story about the two of you so that everyone can laugh at such a situation that you passed by, like the time he got the location of the award show he was going to wrong and you had to walk a long way to get to the right place, with Johnny carrying you on his back obviously, he wasn't going to make his beautiful S/O walk. If you're the shy type, he'll push you a little, not because he's mean, but because he wants to show you to the world, show the person who makes Johnny Cage happy, but if you still don't want to, he'll respect your decision, Even if it upsets him a little at first, he will still take photos of you and the two of you together, with various filters, from the cute ones to the most cursed ones he finds.
The two of you have a YouTube and Twitch channel together, he already had a channel so now you are a regular guest, after all you date him. Johnny loves just chatting in chat, or reacting to some edits and fanarts that his fans make of him live, he always thanks everyone and is satisfied, from the most amateur to the most professional, everyone is valid and valuable from Cage's perspective , and he also loves the edits with the photo and video of you as a couple, with you and him thanking you for your affection, he leaves the @'s of the editors and designers, encouraging their growth. In the lives it also happens that Johnny plays some games with you, his favorite is the horror genre, he loves seeing your reactions because you feel tense around him and the chat, he sits on a black gaming chair in the center of the camera and you or in the background or on his side - it's your choice - he also gets scared very easily so you can take advantage and poke his shoulder or arm during a tense moment in the gameplay, he'll jump and scream from his chair like a scared kitten while letting out a series of swear words - he may or may not have let his glasses fall to the floor and break one of those times.
Johnny lets you wear his clothes, he's very stylish, if there's something you like, you can wear it, he has enough money to buy a new and identical piece, but obviously there are clothes that he's more zealous and jealous of, he He'll even let you use it if you tell him you'll be careful, if you tear it or get it dirty, he won't do anything other than sigh and get irritated for a few hours, then go buy a piece like the old one and pretend nothing happened.
He also loves that you make him breakfast, he loves his food, his seasoning, the smell of warm food makes Johnny wake up in bed with a satisfied smile, seeing you in his kitchen, preparing everything for him, that's it. it also made his ego rise, but in a good way after all he has you in his life and no Hollywood award compares to having you as his partner, he comes up behind you and while hugging you, giving you a kiss on the head and smelling you, even though he's drowsy, he wants to be there with you, watching you make his breakfast with such care - Cage also whispers in a hoarse and low voice how much he loves you, thanking you for being so helpful to him and that will reward you later however you want -
The two of you play 'just dance' together, Johnny knows practically all the choreographies and makes you dance with him, whether you're good or bad at dancing, what matters to him is that you just have fun with him, and he's great at dancing, knowing move the hips extremely well and being very elastic.
Johnny loves sending you memes, posts, songs, everything he sees and remembers about you he will send you immediately, Johnny is the type who has a gallery full of memes that he never sent because he forgot, he is the type who sends more than +99 reels in less than 10 minutes, so if you two have been chatting don't be surprised if you get distracted and have more than 60 videos in your dm, each with a caption and context from Cage:
"I remembered you."
"LMAO you that day (Y/N)"
"That song is the one you like, isn't it?"
"lol that's so me"
"That food looks delicious, can we make it later?"
"pookie wookie"
"This film appears a lot in my fy, let's see it this weekend"
"Am I bbg in this edit?"
He also uses a lot of emoji and stickers to communicate, with chibi versions of himself often in his chat to show his emotions, he uses emojis to Seriously, then get used to using them.
He also uses a lot of emoji and stickers to communicate, with chibi versions of himself often in his chat to show his emotions, he uses emojis to Seriously, then get used to using them.
The two of you have a typical mean girls night together, with skincare, hair moisturizing, movies together and gossiping together, Johnny doesn't mind if you want to try makeup on him, or paint his nails - as long as it's black and he's not in No acting roles at the moment - he accepts it willingly, and he even likes it when you do eyeliner on him - he looks even more handsome, believe me. -
Loves to pamper you materially! Johnny is the type that if he sees that you are looking too much at a certain product in a store, he will pull you and enter the place, calling the salesperson immediately and buying everything you want, and I guarantee you, he knows exactly when you want something. or when you're lying that you don't want to because you're embarrassed, if you lie and try to say that you didn't want to, Johnny will get serious and immediately take the most expensive products in the store for you, as a form of "punishment" for lying to him. He will be able to take you to the concert of your favorite band or singer when he is off work as a Hollywood star or he will hire the singer/band you want to do a private show at his mansion, nothing is too expensive or impossible for Johnny Cage.
He loves romantic nights with you. Johnny will put on a fancy suit, hire a good buffet for a candlelit dinner with you, something he does practically every weekend, it has become a couple's tradition in your relationship. A good dinner and expensive wine, to end the night with the lights of the Cage mansion partially turned off, with you and Johnny in the large marble area, the only light was from the moon that entered through the large video window, with the song: "You rock my world - Michael Jackson" playing in the background, on the speakers of the luxurious room, with the two of you pressed against each other, just singing while dancing intertwined in a heat of passion and love. - Johnny loves this song because he says it sums up what you did in his life, you rocked his world in a way that he can only thank you internally for being the love of his life, and being the person he can count on always, even though he is sometimes too arrogant and proud to admit it, he always says: "-This song sums up what I feel and have always felt about you honey." -It's his way of saying he loves you, when he can't say it directly.
He hates to show it, but he is extremely insecure, after the separation from his ex-wife - Cris - he always asks you if you still love him or if you will leave him one day, this insecurity causes some jealous attacks when you go out, doesn't it? nothing serious, just Johnny sulking and asking you why you're so different with him - which you weren't - just make this man sure of your relationship, holding his arm or hand when you go out helps a lot, with him smiling stupidly in the corner because you're proud to be dating him, after all who wouldn't be? he is Johnny Cage after all.
He's extremely intelligent, so he'll love rambling about everything about you, movies, art, history, everything. He will talk about several topics at the same time, while his head is in your lap.
NSFW:
Recorded sex: He carries that stupid phone of his 24 hours a day, that is, this also applies to sex, he will fuck you practically making a movie every time, recording in HD all your reactions and how you fit your body to his so well , moans, juices of lust, your face salivating with pleasure, the nicknames, the dirtiest things, all recorded and saved in a folder with a password on his cell phone. He uses the videos to masturbate when he is traveling to direct a film as a director, he becomes needy and needs you by his side, having to settle for the homemade porn videos that the two of you make together, your pussy jumping on his dick in the video, his body, his reactions, as he whimpered, fucking his own dick in his hand, writhing on the hotel bed he was in.
Sex on the phone: Well, when the porn videos you made, he will call you, begging you to masturbate on call with him, either just vocally, or on video call, or exchanging nudes while the two of you did it.
"-Come for me. Show me how much you want my cock, how much you need me to fill you like the submissive whore you are."
Daddykink: Self Explanatory, he loves being called daddy by you, he himself has a habit of calling himself daddy in random situations, with an arrogant air. "-Leave it to Daddy, Baby." "-Oh yes, Daddy Johnny is here to sort it out." And this applies to sex, he will fuck you while you call him Daddy or Daddy Johnny - he loves that shit, it boosts his ego like hell. -
Degradation and praise: He loves to praise you and degrade you at the same time, he also loves to be praised during sex, especially when you do the "missionary" position, while he looked at your face, fucking your pussy with greed and hunger.
"-Do you want to cum, my naughty little slut?"
"-You really want my seed to fill your pussy, don't you? You're such a dirty slut, wanting to be bred by me. You want to mark you as mine, don't you?"
"-You're nothing but a filthy whore, begging for my cock."
"-You're such a good boy/girl, taking my dick in that tight, pretty pussy, like the good slut you are."
His favorite sexual positions with you: 69, Doggy Style, Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, Missionary, Scoop Me Up, The Seashell, The Pinball Wizard, Valedictorian, Table Top, The Lazy Man, The Snake, Stand and Deliver.
He also loves giving oral, he would really stay under your legs all day fucking you with his tongue if he could, in every corner of his mansion that he could, his tongue fucks you in the right spots, passing from your clitoris to the your entrance tight, his thick and firm hands keep you in place, holding the soft flesh of your hips, massaging the area in small circles with his thumb while looking into your eyes, while his mouth was too busy working for you. make you cum - maybe... Just maybe he rubs his nose on your clitoris to tease you, he has a big nose... Just maybe. -
Johnny likes blowjobs when he's angry, he likes to come home, have a good whiskey while sitting on the couch, and you between his legs, sucking him greedily, it was a relaxing sight, making Johnny remember the good things about life, you.
"-Yes fuck baby... Keep going... I really need to cum, you're my good boy/girl, sucking my dick so good."
Please squirt on this man! He loves to fuck you and make you squirt, whether with his dick, tongue, fingers or even vibrators - which you have to stimulate your pussy and his dick in some foreplay - Johnny just wants you to cum and get him all wet with your Sweet essence, the first time you squirted on him you were embarrassed, but he wasn't, he seemed to have discovered a new world, smiling like a fool.
"-Mmmm Johnny... I... Please take it off, I-" -You tried to speak between moans, while your pussy squeezed Johnny's cock more than ever, he felt something different, smiling sideways.
"-Fuck I bet that's a fucking squirt, come on, I want to see you squirt on my dick baby, this is going to be so fucking hot, just cum in that tight pussy." -Johnny says, thrusting his dick even more into your pussy, with all the strength and speed he could have in his hips at that moment, fucking you to the core, he gives a strong thrust, hitting his dick on your cervix, making you moan and squirt on his dick, abdomen and groin, dirtying him all over, while he smiled extremely happily.
"-I won't stop fucking you until you do it again baby." -He says smug with a cheesy wink, but he was serious, you were going to do that until he saw you squirt and cum like that again.
©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023
#yanderestarangel#johnny cage imagine#johnny cage mk#johnny cage mk1#johnny cage headcanons#johnny cage smut#johnny cage#mk johnny cage#johnny cage mortal kombat#johnny cage mk 1#johnny cage x reader#johnny cage x y/n#johnny cage x you#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1 x reader#mortal kombat 1#mortal kombat imagine#mortal kombat fandom#mk1#mk x reader#mk fanfic#mk fandom#afab reader#mortal kombat headcanons#headcanons#imagine johnny cage#yanderestarangelheadcanons#mortal kombat smut#mortal kombat fanfiction#mortal kombat x reader
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â© đđđ«đąđšđ đđ«đđŠđ© đđąđŠđźđ„đđđšđ« â©
Sturniolo Triplets x bsf!fem!reader
Synopsis: The triplets try a period cramp simulator thinking itâll be easy.
Warnings: period cramps ig?
*this is js platonic :)*
â â â â â â â â â â
âHey guys welcome back to our YouTube! Today we have our best friend y/n here with usâ Nick said as I waved to the camera smiling.
âTell them what weâre doing today since youâve been so enthusiastic about making this videoâ Matt says clearly not happy about the video idea.
âWell if you watched the boys stream the other day, Matt brought up that he bought a period cramp simulator but theyâve refused to use it. So with a little bit of begging and buying Chris a whole box of Pepsis I convinced them to film the videoâ I laughed excited to see their reactions to it.
âIâm so not excited for thisâ Chris groaned.
âI honestly donât think itâs gonna be that badâ Nick says confidently.
âWhatever you sayâ I say giggling.
âOk who first?â I ask.
âAHH OH MY GODâ Nick suddenly screams.
âWhat?â We all say scared from his sudden yelling.
âI searched up how bad period cramps hurt and it says that they can hurt as bad as a heart attack oh my lordâ Nick says clearly scared out of his mind.
âHoly fuckâ Matts jaw drops.
âDamn bro you gotta go through this shit every month?â Chris asks genuinely concerned.
âUnfortunatelyâ I sigh.
âAlright who first?â I ask again, setting up all the equipment.
âNot it!â Chris screams.
âNot it!!â Nick screams right after him.
âFuck fuck noâ Matt panics.
âOk come on Matt sit in the chairâ I laugh.
âNo I canât I canâtâ Matt says as he reluctantly sits in the chair.
âYouâll be fineâ I giggle. âOk lift up your shirtâ I say.
âOooooh itâs getting freakyâ Chris says.
âOh shut upâ Nick slaps his arm.
I put the patches on Mattâs stomach and laughed at his flinching every time I put one on.
âOk are you ready?â I ask him.
âOh fuck Chris hold my handâ Matt says to Chris who was standing next to me.
âOk weâll start easy on level 1â I turn the machine on to the lowest level. Mattâs eyes close for a second and then he breathes out.
âOk ok not that badâ He sighs.
âLevel 2â I say turning the machine up a bit.
âStill not too bad just feels like a Stichâ Matt says letting go of Chrisâs hand.
âLevel 3â
âOk this oneâs got a bit of a kick but not too badâ He breathes out again.
â4â
âOw fuck this one feels like the type of stomachache you have after having too much hot sauce on somethingâ He says making us all laugh.
âLevel 5â
âLevel 6â
âAH FUCK FUCKâ Matt yells in pain reaching out for Chrisâs hand again.
âLevel 7â
âOh my god stop it actually hurts like a bitchâ Matt whimpers in pain.
âSomeoneâs gonna edit thatâ Nick comments making everyone laugh.
âLevel 8â
âY/n stop holy fucking shit I canâtâ He moans in pain again. His head falling back as he closes his eyes.
âCome on get to 10 Mattâ I say turning it up to level 9.
âFUCK FUCK FUCKâ He moans loudly making his brothers laugh.
âAnd level 10â I say.
âOh god. Oh fuck I canât oh my godâ Matt says gripping my arm with one hand and Chrisâs hand with his other. Nick stood behind him massaging his shoulders dying of laughter.
âAh- fuckkkâ He whimpers âIt hurts so bad fuckâ Matt moans.
âHow does it feel?â I ask softly.
âTurn it the fuck off oh my godâ He moans.
âThere you goâ I say turning it off.
âHoly shitâ He sighs in relief.
âWas it Bad?â Chris questions.
âIt was fucking hellâ Matt says clutching his stomach.
âAlright who nextâ I chuckle.
âChris rock paper scissors shootâ Nick says.
âOk ok loser goesâ Chris states the obvious.
âRock, Paper, Scissors, Shootâ They play and Nick looses.
âFUCK OFFâ Nick screams as get gets in the chair. ïżŒ
I place the patches on him just like I did with Matt.
âYou ready?â I ask.
âFuck is Turn it up to level 4 straight away it canât be that badâ Nick says with confidence but also fear.
âDamn Nick alrightâ I say turning it up to level 4.
âHOLY FUCK OH MY GODâ Nick screams gripping the chair so hard his knuckles look like they might turn white.
âSee Nick it is that badâ Matt says laughing.
âShut up I realize that nowâ Nick says trying to punch his brother.
âLevel 5â
âFucking hellâ Nick groans in pain.
âLevel 6â
âJESUS OH MYâ He screams again.
âLevel 7â
âI hate you for my making me do this oh my godâ He moans in pain just like Matt.
âLevel 8â
âFUCK FUCK FUCK NO IT HURTS SO BADâ Nick yells stomping his feet on the ground almost making the chair fall back.
âDamn relax you beast youâre gonna break our floorâ Chris laughs.
âFUCK IT I CANTâ Nick rips off the patches and runs into the living room screaming making everyone die of laughter.
âOh come on Nick you didnât even get to 10 I bet I couldâ Chris says teasing his brother.
âYou sure about that Chris?â I say pushing his shoulder with mine.
âOh Iâm sureâ He smiles sitting on the chair lifting his shirt up.
âThereâs gonna be a shit ton of edits of thisâ Matt sighs covering his face with his hands.
âIâm looking forward to itâ I laugh.
âOk you ready?â I ask Chris.
âGo for itâ He replies, closing his eyes in fear.
âYouâre Fine Chris this is only level 1â I say as I turn it on.
âOk not bad Like Matt Saidâ he says.
âLevel 2â He gets through all the easy levels not making a noise only scrunching his face once in a while. Even on level 4 he barely has a reaction.
âDamn Chrisâ I say stunned.
âHoly fuck dude I was screamingâ Nick says baffled at Chrisâs pain tolerance.
âLevel 5â
And again no reaction from Chris, only a slight scrunch of his face.
âBro howâ Matt raises his voice flabbergasted at his brother.
âAlright Chris youâre doing a little too good Iâm gonna turn it up to 8 which is where Nick gave upâ I speak up wanting to see him have a reaction.
âAlright Iâm readyâ Chris breathes out.
âOk Level 8â I turn it up.
âOk fuck fuck this one actually hurtsâ Chris whimpers and grabs my arm.
âLevel 9â I say happy that Chris finally reached a pain limit.
âOh my god wait this actually hurts -ah fuckâ He moans throwing his head back and squeezing my hand harder.
âIâm actually surprised you lasted that long without a reaction Chrisâ Matt says rubbing his shoulder still surprised.
âAnd level 10â I turn it up to the max.
âAh- fuckkkkk it feels like a bunch of pin and needles playing with my intestinesâ He groans.
âDo you want me to turn it off ?â I ask him.
âNo I wanna see how long I can lastâ Chris says whimpering again.
âThatâs what she saidâ Nick bursts out laughing.
âShut up Nickâ I laugh.
âOh my godddd -ah shitâ Chris squirms in the seat scrunching his face in pain. He moves one of his hand to cover his mouth which is letting out soft moans and whimpers.
âYou sound like youâre having an orgasmâ Nick points out laughing.
âShut the fuck up you couldnât even get to 10â Chris argues.
Matt Starts uncontrollably laughing and rests his head on my shoulder as he laughs.
âYou want me to turn it off now?â I ask.
âFuck yes please oh god-â Chris groans in pain one last time before I turn the device off and take the patches off his stomach.
âIâm never doing that againâ He sighs in relief and falls forward to rest on the table.
âIâm actually surprised you lasted that longâ I say patting his back.
âThatâs what she saidâ Nick laughs and runs away.
âSHUT UP NICKâ Matt screams and chases after him.
âWell thanks for watching the video! Give it 100k likes for a part 2!â I say.
âNO NEVERâ I hear them all scream.
â â â â â â â â â â
I actually want them to do this video so bad đ
#y/n#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#period cramps
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