#I'm not in a place where i can cope well with other people's mental health rn unfortunately

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

I'm thinking about how Angel Dust and Husk's mental health struggles would manifest as complete opposites from each other...

I know people headcannon Angel to be very mess with his room full of clutter but I honestly think he'd be kind of a neat freak. Like keeping his room as well as himself clean is the only form of control he has in his life (afterlife?). He's VERY particular about how everything is organized and takes pride on how tidy he keeps everything. Outside the hotel he is a dirty whore who is forced to do dirty things for dirty people. But at home he can wash that all away; the clients, the messy benders, the blood and bruises, Valentino. He has to shower straight after work or else he starts to get really manic and hostile and he's hyper aware of everything around him. There are days where Angel feels extra dirty and he just can't seem to clean himself up enough or his room still feels too messy even though he's cleaned it several times. He can get just as bad as Niffty when overwhelmed, though he tries to keep that side of himself confined to his own room but the more comfortable he got living at the hotel the more it spread to other places. At sone point he had a particularly bad episodes and Husk found him scrubbing the kitchen floor during the middle of the night. His face puffy and red from crying, with his body scrubbed raw from the the 3 baths previous, and his hands covered in chemical burns from the cleaning supplies he was using. Husk quietly picked him up from the floor, gently wiped his face his hands with a warm damp cloth, and tucked him into bed.

Husk on the other hand has a form of manic depression where he just does not care, not in the nonchalant "who cares what anybody thinks" sort of way (which is also true) but in he "cannot be bothered to take care of himself" sort of way. Everything is an EXTREME effort for him; waking up, showering, brushing teeth, eating, interacting with people, etc. His room and hygiene are abysmal, his health would have put him in the ground ten times over if he wasn't already dead, and the only thing he CAN be bothered to do is drink to numb it all down. If allowed he will sleep for actual DAYS, doesn't even need to be a bed, he'll curl up in dark corners, closets, or under furniture and not move a single muscle. He would let himself waste away into nothing if given the chance. Sometimes it gets so bad he'll straight up defy orders from Alastor, not so secretly hoping the Radio Demon with make go on his threat and at least put him out of his misery. Angel had the luck of witnessing this once: Husk was way too messy and drunk, practically egging Alastor on, and it probably would have worked if Angel hadn't been there to intervene, masking it all with jokes and innuendo to deflate the tension as he dragged a pissy Husk into another room to calm down. It was the first time he witnessed the bartender actually breakdown, and Angel held him close as Husk collapsed into a sobbing mess.

And I'm thinking how even though they cope with things in completely opposite ways from each other, it also makes them even more compatible. Because Husk doesn't mind Angel being a mess, and Angel doesn't mind cleaning up after Husk.

[dani-luminae]

Now hear me out-

After I saw your post of how Descendants treats Adam's curse as a joke it got me thinking-

What if the weird jokes about the curse is Adam's way of coping with his trauma about the curse in the first place

Now I just want to make it clear that this coping mechanism is UNHEALTHY but let's be honest- when have people EVER been good at dealing with mental health problems in a healthy way?

And look at how Belle acts whenever he makes those jokes

"Well it was either you or a teapot": Gives him a look that says "Are you fucking kidding me?" Yes he did just make a joke about marrying his MOTHER figure instead of her but I feel like she could've also thought "Please stop joking about your own and other people's trauma like this and go to therapy-"

"Lucky for me, she doesn't go by first impressions": Tightens her smile before turning 100% of her focus to Mal

This woman is 100% done with her husband avoiding dealing with his trauma through these stupid jokes and I fully believe she does what she can to make it easier for him

My biggest example of this is the scene where Hades wakes Audrey up, in this scene Belle's wearing a yellow outfit with a blue flower thingy attached to her chest

It's canon in the OG movie that roses are Belle's favorite flowers as Adam says this while he's buying them for their wedding in their bonus book

RED ROSES are Belle's favorite flower yet we barely see any of them in the movies outside the enchanted rose in the museum, you'd think the queen of Auradon's favorite flower would be more prominent in the kingdom or at least on her clothing but NOTHING

Why?

Because Adam is probably traumatized by roses after being forced to watch a rose for ten years knowing it basically symbolized his lifespan, Belle knows her favorite flower triggers her husband so she does her best to keep them away from him

Now I can excuse Adam buying roses for her on her wedding day because he was probably swept up in the moment and wanted to make her happy, plus the curse had just been lifted at this point so he probably hadn't fully taken in his trauma yet

I saw you mentioning in one of your posts that D3's mech book treats his curse like a "superpower", now since to my knowledge there's no book where Adam's writing down stuff personally I'm assuming it's the other characters doing this, to which I say

Just look at how people irl treats this curse, barely any acknowledgement how badly this would fuck up someone mentally, all the jokes that "Belle liked him better as beast" "He was better looking as the beast"

I saw that page from D3 novelization that Mal doesn't seem to care AT ALL that her fiancé got cursed so these people not understanding how badly this fucks up a person checks out

TL: DR: Adam has developed and encouraged bad ways of dealing with his trauma and Belle has been trying to drag his ass to therapy since the moment she heard the first joke related to the curse

(Okay sorry if this became so long but you're one of few people in the fandom I've seen not hating D! Belle and Adam and I love having people to discuss my hyperfixations with)

(Also want to make it clear that I fully agree that the way Descendants handles the curse is stupid- luckily stupid decisions from the writers leads to much free room for interpretation and headcanons)

You say "sorry this became so long" as if me and the other like 3 people interested in this character haven't been starved for content lmao

Anyways. This is one of those headcanons that's like "OMG it fits perfectly with canon!!! :)" and "ouch, it fits perfectly with canon!!!!! :(" at the same time. Because it makes so much sense!!!! But also it makes so much sense.

I don't actually have much to add, other than I definitely agree with this headcanon. Thank you for sharing it!

[thedevotionaltour]

Warning upfront: This post is about weight, and will therefore be focusing on weight gain and loss alongside eating habits, especially in relation to mental health and grief at certain points.

If you are like me, perhaps you also take issue with Kyle Rayner being either insanely shredded (or some skinny beanpole, depending on if you’re reading his solo title or literally anything else) from the start of his time as Green Lantern despite the following known facts: He sucked at gym class. He has a primarily sit down job as a graphic designer and artist. He did not train before Donna started helping him out. If you are also like me, perhaps you are often attempting to find ways to cope with this fact. I'm also going to say right now, this post is going to be super insanely informal, so sorry if it meanders a lot or gets confusing in some places. This is rambling I attempted to turn into coherent sentences.

Here is my personal step by step, headcanoned to hell and back rationalization as to how Kyle became the lean thing he is. Or the beefy thing he sometimes is. Again, it really does depend whether you’re reading his solo or literally any other title he’s making an appearance in. Anyways. Let’s get started!

I truly do think Kyle started off as a scrawny to averagely slim kid of sorts, all the way through middle school. His diet is pretty so-so, especially since he and his mom live on a tight budget, so the food situation isn’t necessarily spectacular for most of his life. Up and down. Maura tries her best with what she’s got.

In high school, he actually gets some meat on his bones, especially to Maura’s delight. She likes that he doesn’t look like a starving waif, as she’s put it to him a few times. Kyle doesn’t have strong feelings either way; sometimes he grumbles, sometimes he gets a small laugh out of her comments about it. They’re positive overall, and honestly, that’s all he can ask for from her. He actually keeps the weight he gets when he eats, and then some. He’s never been spectacular at sports or gym. It’s not his forte, and he doesn’t care to necessarily get better at it, either. He’s not in any physical extracurriculars. He does minimal physical activity on his own time, but nothing much. He’s too glued to his desk drawing or reading some comic book or fantasy novel. By the end of high school, he has some pudge. 

College hits, and he gets your typical freshman 15. Thank you school cafeteria and vending machines. He doesn’t really have the best concept of what to get for groceries, either. He’s got your very average college diet. He has vegetables, yes, but he doesn’t need to tell his Mom that that isn’t necessarily an everyday occurrence. Not like he’s telling her anything at all, by this time, but that’s not really the point. That, combined with how his major is pretty much all sit down work, and it’s no surprise he gains a few more pounds for the rest of his college career. Dancing at the club and walking around campus only does so much for a person. Once he leaves college, his diet and grocery shopping abilities get better and more well rounded. But the point is, this man is not really made of muscle at all. 

An important note is that, in my opinion, Kyle has no negative feelings about his weight. He’s extremely neutral on it, and it helped that his mom was vocally positive about it. To him, this is just how his He’s got the average cultural mindset of ‘Eh, probably could stand to lose some’, but it’s not a big deal to him at all. His health is otherwise fine. He still regards himself as attractive, and knows he’s attractive. People tell him. He has proof. So his weight settles out and pretty much stays where it’s at until he gets the ring in his mid-20s (sue me, I like imagining Kyle is around 25 when he gets it. Which I have no reason to share. I just want to). 

Since he’s become Green Lantern, he’s far more active than he’s been in… A while, he can admit it. But he’s just glad he doesn’t necessarily have to be super fit to wield it. He can’t remember the last time he ran a mile, and he doesn’t wanna know, either. Again, his job is a sit down job, and he’s lucky when he remembers to look up from his desk in general. However, with his new level of physical activity, it makes sense to start losing a bit. It’s not really a lot, or very noticeable at all, but he can’t help but smile when Alex points out when his arms feel a bit more firm to the touch after a month and some weeks. 

Speaking of Alex, that’s when things take a major turn for Kyle and his weight. After her death, he has some pretty drastic weight loss. Not only does depression and grief make it difficult to find the energy and will to eat, but the association of the kitchen makes it even worse. His diet becomes kind of abysmal, but he’d rather limit his interaction with certain parts of his kitchen as much as possible. He’s no stranger to a shelf stable diet. He grew up on canned goods. Snack food is food and it’s filling if you have enough of them. Pasta is boring after a while, but at least it’s quick. He makes just enough to justify getting takeout at least once every other week, or cheap fast food a few times if he really can’t bring himself to cook, but he’s still usually eating about half of it. Not because he doesn’t want it, but he just doesn’t have the mental energy for it the second he thinks he might feel full, even if he really isn’t. He does all he can for a while to avoid leftovers for some time, but he eventually becomes okay with the concept of them again. It only takes a minute to put them in and take them out. Not like he has to stare into his fridge choosing ingredients for a dinner he barely wants in the first place. I also think Kyle is someone who can just straight up forget to eat in the first place sometimes (he just gets too absorbed in stuff until his body goes, ‘hey, we’re hungry!’, and then he’s really hungry), so that doesn’t help with anything.

Kyle’s weight loss doesn’t look out of place at all to others, and people probably even positively comment on it (which he finds he doesn’t care for, but he’s unsure why. Isn’t it good for him to be slimmer?), but he knows better. I don’t think he would necessarily register it as super unhealthy, but Kyle knows his body, and he has a feeling it shouldn’t be this much this fast. He’s seeing numbers close to ones he hasn’t seen since high school. But it’s not really at the forefront of his mind. Especially since he’s become a lot busier as he’s packed up and moved off to New York.

It continues like this for a few months in New York, but that’s when Kyle’s life gets back on track. It’s a big clean slate, and as he becomes more busy as Green Lantern and with life in general, his feelings on his kitchen become more a non-thought than anything. When he starts dating Donna, things especially look up. Kyle gets a lot more healthy. He gains weight again because he’s relatively happy with his life. He goes on dinner dates. Sometimes Donna cooks for the both of them, sometimes they cook together, and it gets Kyle comfortable cooking on his own again. He likes training with Donna, even if it sucks hard at first. Again, it’s hard to hate someone admiring your newfound muscle. He becomes ‘I work out with my girlfriend and I eat well’ lean instead of ‘I’m majorly depressed and my trauma is preventing me from navigating food in a healthy and normal way to me’ skinny.

This continues when he dates Jennie, too. I think Kyle would honestly gain a fair amount of happy weight when he’s with her. His life has really stabilized by then. Hell, he’s having dinner with his mom once a week when he can, and he knows she’s on a mission to make sure he keeps that weight (he rolled his eyes hard and was not a fan at all when she commented on the visible loss one time when they were first reconnecting). 

He never really gets back to the weight he was after losing Alex, but he’s certainly doing better than he was before. They’re still kinda big, but the clothes he still has from around that time aren’t as loose as before. The muscle he’s also gained as he continues to run around as GL and trains fill them out nicely, too. It pleases him.

However, when things in Kyle’s life start to go bad, his weight and eating habits are the first things to be affected. He can easily lose a pound or three when he’s feeling bad nowadays, and sometimes he misses the days when that wasn’t the case. He misses when he could gain that when he felt bad. 

He’s never quite had the drastic weight loss he did the first time around ever again, but he came a little too close for comfort to it when his mom passed. What helped Kyle with preventing that was having an actual support system around him when that happened; people who could check in on him and make him food and take him out for it, unlike when he had essentially no one to help him out or make sure he was doing okay after Alex. 

When you’re depressed, it’s not hard to fall back into old habits. Kyle only has so much energy, and to him, it’s better to put that energy towards doing good as Green Lantern than losing it to being a miserable bastard trying to make a meal he’s barely in the mood for. Who doesn’t love peanut butter and jelly twice a day for a week straight? It’s not like he didn’t live that way in college sometimes. There’s even the bonus that if he eats it enough times, he doesn’t even have to worry about storing bread in the fridge to prevent mold since it’ll be gone so quick. He doesn’t want to see his oven. He doesn’t want to see his fridge. The kitchen only has to be for cooking, really; he can store his food on the dining table.

But generally, you can sorta tell how Kyle’s doing through his weight and eating habits. It fluctuates in a small range, never super intense, but you can notice it if you pay enough attention over time. If he’s looking a little leaner than usual, it might not hurt to check on him, but if he’s looking a little bigger these days, you know life is going pretty good for Kyle Rayner.

If you made it this far, yay! Thanks for reading my post on how I can suspend my disbelief over Kyle’s weight and make it make sense over time, and how to address the visual consistency issues regarding his build across comics. 

(You will still never catch me believing in skinny Kyle Rayner, though. Make him chubby. It will never hurt him.)

[olderthannetfic]

A common anti talking point is that "problematic" content is fine as long as it's portrayed in a bad light, and I know this is mostly a way for them to say "porn bad", but, like... if we exclude stupidity, is this even a common issue at all?

I try to think of what they could otherwise mean, because I read a lot of things they'd hate, but even the cutesy stuff has dark undertones, or is clearly done with the reader meant to understand that at least one character involved is a freak. Even with porn, I'm not sure I've seen many that didn't lean into how taboo it is. The closest trend I can think of is age gap romances where the protagonist is 16 and going for someone in their 30s, but even those make sure you're extremely aware of the age difference the entire time since that's the appeal. Or an anime where the siblings are REALLY close and no one comments, but as a viewer I can still clearly pick up that these are codependent freaks.

Is this a me thing? Do I just not see these swarms of insidious positive portrayals and they're actually everywhere? I don't doubt there are bad writers that fumble their stories, and I'm less likely to read those long enough to find out, so is that what they're referring to? Or is it really always just porn is evil?

--

No, people being dumb as a box of rocks and not grasping that weird internet porn is not a how-to manual is not that common a problem.

However, being traumatized and having zero useful mental health support is.

A lot of anti talking points are coming from a place of toxic coping. mechanisms where someone thinks that if they can just control everything around them The Bad Thing can't happen again, to them or to anyone else.

Blaming the influence of bad fiction is a very common step for people who haven't had enough time or safety to accept that, no, actually, the person they trusted hurt them on purpose because they felt like it, not because Media Made Them Do It.

Or that maybe their dumb teen self handled some situations badly, but it's because teens often do that and/or because no decent adult was around to ask them why they seemed upset, not because it was fiction's job to teach them boundaries. It's a lot easier to blame the concrete experience of reading something that modeled bad behavior than the highly amorphous negative space where good offline role models who paid attention and gave a fuck should have been.

--

Some people are self-medicating with a rage high. A few are nasty ringleaders trying to power trip. Lots are just scared dumbasses who haven't grasped that it's okay to have dark fantasies.

A lot of it is just people with the hubris to say "Well, I have decent reading comprehension and can spot subtext, but what if all these other people can't?"

[madscience]

can. can yuo tell me about ur oc.. sawbones.. im eanamored by the name and posts tagged as them. i would love to hear more.

OUGHHH YES!!!! :3 thank you for asking <3

i know this is every oc haver's dream but i'm SO bad at talking about my ocs, i never know what to say, so sorry in advance if this is a load of rubbish >_< (also sorry it's so long oughhh i didn't expect to ramble so much)

sawbones is a mad scientist oc that i've had for like 5-6 years now. he's part of a group of ocs that i put together just because i needed a home for my supernatural creatures tbh. that being said, sawbones is human, though he IS immortal (he's syphoning a dying reaper's life force, you know how it is).

the town he lives in is tucked away in a pocket dimension that mirrors the town in the 'overworld' that it's attached to, and the mirror is ongoing. things will change in one world, and then something will appear or be built by chance in the same spot in the other. there are weak points in the barrier between the two where people and objects can accidentally slip through, which is how sawbones ended up there in the first place several 100 years ago (perhaps even longer tbh i still haven't decided).

he's got the classic dead wife thing going on. he used to be a surgeon back when he was still mortal (that's dr sawbones to you), with a wife and kids and a mostly normal little life. then his wife dies and predictably his mental health goes down the drain, ends up digging her back up because he's convinced that if he's smart enough, and persistent enough, that anything is possible. he gets found out and his wife's body is burned, obviously the kids get taken away too, he copes really well with that (/s).

so then he develops a new idea, he'll just RECREATE her instead. perhaps if he can create an entirely new living being, with full automation and free will and it's own thoughts, he can mould it into his wife later. he goes through a lot of different concepts really. at one point he discovers ghosts are real and thinks that maybe she could possess any old body. (she can't, she's gone forever).

the main problem, though, is that he doesn't actually remember her and he's REALLY touchy about that. she could come back just as she left and he wouldn't recognise her at all, or if he did, he would be convinced that she were somehow wrong and warped. but he'll keep working towards that goal, even though he's doomed to fail and kinda knows it in the back of his mind.

he's spent so long with this one-track mind that his socialisation skills have gone completely out the window. his judgement of what's acceptable completely depends on whether it helps or hinders his goal, which of course makes the rest of the town find him extremely off-putting.

he's a really nice guy when you get to know him though, ignoring the unethical experiments. he's quite happy to help anyone and everyone in the town with their problems if he can, and often he CAN because he loves to latch onto an idea and get to the bottom of it. it's only what he's been doing for most of his life after all. it doesn't help that the town is comprised of supernatural creatures and his current focus is on magic and the supernatural, but what can ya do, gotta study something!

--

ok whatever. i've already talked way too much so here's some art from both me and others <3. warning for gore in the linked ones.

i've only posted one piece myself which is here. @kil9 has drawn me 2 epic sawbones pieces here and here. and then i also commissioned faiyx for an icon here (not tagging bc i don't know him like that). other than that, here's a few more older drawings because i don't actually draw him that much, as well as a birthday gift from @helsex (first pic :3) !!

[windvexer]

This is in reply to a very long ask, which I would prefer to summarize.

As a young child, Anon and their mother left an abusive situation and moved into a new house.

When they moved, Anon began suffering from severe violent and grotesque intrusive thoughts even though they were a young child with no prior exposure to these things.

In order to cope, Anon shut out these thoughts as much as possible.

When Anon moved out of the house, these intrusive thoughts stopped and never returned.

Now, some years later and coming from a more stable place, Anon believes that these intrusive thoughts had a supernatural source. Not from a haunting spirit, but from the home itself.

Anon finishes the ask with: "So I think shutting out spiritual energy has become so deeply ingrained in me that I just can't get a proper practice going. Aside from getting good at warding to fill that role, I was hoping you had some advice on breaking down that barrier a bit?"

Anon, I hope I've correctly summarized your ask. I'm looking at it now on the other half of the screen to respond to what you wrote.

I am not going to comment on mental health issues. As you've said yourself, this is something you've worked through and doubtless you are very aware of the mental and emotional impact such a life transition could have on a young child.

Since I'm not qualified to speak on mental health or self therapy, let's move forward with the assumption that you did experience something supernatural - that something about the house, or within the house, was causing those thoughts.

It's my experience that the scariness of a supernatural event is often unrelated to how "powerful" that event was.

Many people who experience overwhelming negative spiritual contact tend to set out with the point of view that because these events affected them so strongly, that the event must have been caused by a very powerful force.

When I was in my first apartment, there were old hard water stains in the toilet bowl. My room mate scrubbed and scrubbed all day with zero progress, and declared the bowl to be permanently stained.

I went in and dumped some toilet bowl cleaner in, and the stains came out in about five minutes.

Despite all the work, my room mate had failed to use the necessary cleanser to actually resolve the problem.

It's just the same thing with unwanted spiritual contact. People use the wrong tools for the job, and declare the situation hopeless.

But more likely than not, the people who tell me they are struggling with debilitating spiritual symptoms have never tried any act of magic to resolve them, at all.

And more likely than not, the very first ward they try will resolve it.

Supernatural problems may be very difficult to resolve through mundane means, but they tend to be easy to resolve with supernatural means.

In my experience, a vast majority of people experiencing overwhelming spiritual contact can resolve the problem with basic warding.

I know that you're not in that old house any more, but I want to emphasize that dealing with these sorts of problems is really not as difficult as most people think.

You shouldn't set yourself up to think that it will take months of study to craft a serviceable ward, or banishment, or cleansing. Doubtless you could do all of them right now, if you had a decent recipe book in front of you.

I believe you could probably do this even if it was the first spell you had ever cast.

My first piece of advice is to ward pretty well. If you do not want to deal with surprise spirits popping up, I would recommend a pretty heavy-handed ward that limits most spiritual ingress.

This isn't because lots of spirits are guaranteed to appear, although in my experience it can happen to new practitioners. It's just about creating a safe space where you feel confident exploring the things around you.

A personal protection, such as a protective amulet, is also very helpful. For people really worried about spiritual protections, I recommend two; an "everyday use" amulet, and a very "heavy" protection likened to a suit of armor.

Protections need to be maintained. If you want to be a witch, learning how to monitor, feed, and manage ongoing protections is an important skill for beginners. Working with wards is an excellent way to learn this.

You should learn one method of cleansing and one method of banishing. These can both be more mild, "everyday use" sorts of spells. By this I mean you don't have to go nuclear - again, even very mild magical action goes a long way towards resolving supernatural problems.

I recommend this because it is very helpful as a witch to learn that you can control your environment, and start unlearning helplessness towards the vibes.

Many people who have an affinity towards the supernatural become helpless towards the dreary and damaging fogbanks of deleterious energy that settle around people and places. They become helpless because they don't know how to resolve it; it's just there, and it's something they experience, and that's that.

But you don't need to do that, because you have the tools to correct it.

Begin practicing, as often as you have an opportunity to do so, the art of adjusting the vibes. Teach yourself how to cleanse and revitalize spaces so that it's enjoyable to let your guard down and soak up what's around you.

Unlearn any internalization: "ugh, every time I'm in this room I feel terrible, even though I shouldn't. I don't know what's wrong with me." Begin pushing back. Fix spaces. Protect against unsavory people whom you can't avoid.

This undertaking, by and large, will teach you plenty of magic.

You should consider getting reacquainted with your spiritual senses through energy work, not through contacting gods or spirits.

This really eliminates the worry about contacting "something out there," and lets you focus on just playing about with some energies.

It can be danged useful, too. Learning how to shield - even something as ubiquitous and basic as a sphere of white light - can be significantly helpful towards blocking out unwanted supernatural contact.

Try warding your space for peace of mind, and then practicing some of the common energy work exercises: energy balls, grounding roots, cycling energy through the body and earth, breathing energy in and out, raising shields, channeling energy into objects, centering/reclaiming energy, and so on.

If you'd like to work with spirits, try talking to a tree that gives you really good vibes. Trees are often - but not always - remarkably friendly, especially domesticated trees in urban or suburban areas. They also tend to be more talkative than rocks.

You don't need to leave offerings or set up a contact schedule or anything. But if you feel that you're prepared to start reaching beyond yourself, a tree is a decent guy to start talking to.

Magically speaking, some people really have tapped down their own psychism and connections so much, that it becomes an actual blockage.

If you're trying to do magical or psychic work and you can't shake a weird feeling that something is actually in the way, like a boulder blocking the path, then this is of course a magical boulder and should be addressed through magical means.

You can try three things:

The first is personal cleansing of any sort, but especially done with a focus to remove magical blockages and barriers. Be aware that this may need to be done multiple times over a period of weeks, or longer, to take effect. If multiple cleansings are necessary, this is preferable over intense "lightning strike" cleansings that can rip things open.

The second is to give yourself permission. In your original ask you mention being familiar with shadow work, and so perhaps you are familiar with the idea of granting yourself permission or authority to engage in things, which deep down you are nervous of doing.

The third is to build a shrine that honors your own psychism and your own connections. Almost imagine that you are building a shrine to a lost god, forgotten for so long that he's turned to ash and dust. Burn candles, light incense, and give offerings to your own ability to connect. Lovingly tend to it, and treat it as a wayward spirit who now needs to be called home, nurtured, and restored to its rightful throne.

[shadowwolfmemes]

Fuck off already, Shoo

Get @rainbow-starheart's pretty name out your fucking mouth, you stupid bitch. She's not the one block evading. YOU are. Unlike you, she doesn't go out of her way to harass the people she doesn't like because she knows it's a waste of time. And she has a life outside of the internet.

1.) She doesn't send her whatever knights to attack people like you assume. If anyone who likes to harass people the most, it's you. You make over 1,000+ alts to argue with someone for the sake of arguing. If you're such a "grown" person, why don't you just block and move on? Oh wait, you can't because you lack common sense.

2.) I don't think you understand what criticism is. When we criticize something, we don't always do it out of feelings, but rather because something is out of place and should be corrected. In this case, feelings don't matter. Feel what you want to feel, but drawing CP is illegal and that'll never change. Period.

3.) Like I said, feelings don't matter in this situation. We want CP gone because minors can't consent, fictional or not.

4.) If drawing minors getting their holes penetrated is your way of coping, then something is wrong with you. Why would you want to fantasize a bad thing in a positive light? Believe it or not, that does more harm to your mental health than good. Don't try to shame or guilt trip us because we find that fantasy disgusting and understandably so.

5.) A fictional child is still a child, no matter what. There's no good excuses to draw them in a sexual manner. You can go 'head and convince yourself that you're not a pedophilic creep for defending CP, I guess that's the only way you can sleep comfortably at night. You know what? You deserve more than just being put on a blocklist. You also deserve to be put on the FBI's watchlist if you think there's nothing wrong with getting off to fictional minors being fucked in the ass. You're the weird one, not us.

I don't know where you got that idea from, but your argument here is sure as hell inadequate and shallow. Yes, animators should be open about other's arts, but that doesn't mean they can't deny you a job. So, stop trying to shut down @ennuizrealblog's goals because at least they have a better idea what to do with their time, unlike you.

You think animators as a whole don't get well paid? Wrong! Think again, dumbass.

Depending on the company itself, this is enough to make them a millionaire. Before making such a claim and saying it's true, you better do some research (if you're smart enough to).

I have a question for you, Shoo. If you have the time to make over 1,000 alt accounts to make stupid, no brainer arguments, how come you don't spend your time searching for a job application? You claim you're an "adult", but you certainly don't act your age.

Unlike you, I have a better idea on how to spend my entire life once I graduate from high school in a few months. At least I put in actual efforts looking for a job. I even got accepted into a college because I made better use of my time despite being a high school senior. What about you? I'm pretty sure you just lay around in your mommy's moldy basement arguing with random minors you come across on the internet while your mother is wondering where she went wrong with you.

If you had actual respect for yourself, you wouldn't waste your time arguing over nothing. You wouldn't bother responding either (I know you'll find this post sooner or later).

Stay bitter, Shoo~! 😘

[maxdibert]

Re: the ask about Lily being Snape's "attachment figure" and him confusing that for love. Based on the people you work with experiencing similar... how well can people manage to move beyond that with the correct support/therapy/environment/other interventions, and form healthier relationships and have a better quality of life? Like, best case scenario

I'm imagining Sev leaves Hogwarts and Spinner's End, gets some peace and quiet and maybe some therapy(?) - although Sev doesn't seem the type to me to naturally step away from an unhealthy place or engage with any sort of treatment, at least at first, and in any case the wizarding world has a very "get over it" attitude and like 0 awareness of mental health lol (and his next big problem if he survived ofc would probably be being mobbed by fans and haters alike, and Rita Skeeter turning up in his floorboards to write a colourful biography).

BUT in an ideal world, how (and how well) could he perhaps move on from being overly attached to Lily and her memory, and form new, healthier relationships and prioritise himself?

And only if you care to write about it because i know this has gotten long, but how about on the flip side of if he survived, his purpose fulfilled (Harry lived and is safe; his debt to Lily repaid) - and he received no support or new friends/community, how would he cope? Without that goal/focus? Without the structure of Hogwarts? With the tumult of the end of the war, more attention, but no purpose, and probably no job teaching? I've seen a few fics where he turns to drink but I can't really see it myself, and would love to hear your thoughts!! Love seeing that you've posted 💕

It depends on whether it's driven by mere emotional deprivation or part of a clinical diagnosis. For example, having attachment figures is quite common in people with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder—most of them experience it regularly. It's also the case for those of us who suffer from anxiety or have an anxious attachment style; we tend to have attachment figures as well, but that’s more of a clinical issue.

From what I've learned and what people who work directly to improve people's daily lives (I'm in the legal field, after all) like psychologists or social caregivers have told me, it all depends on the case, the severity, and the person themselves. Generally, younger people have more success with recovery than those in middle age, which makes sense because the younger you are, the more adaptable you are and the easier it is to develop tools and ways to self-manage. The older you get, the harder it becomes, because these behaviors have been established over many years, and it's quite difficult to change them. But for younger people, especially teenagers and those under 30, the prognosis is generally good, especially if the person is intervened, receives good therapy, and is properly supported. BUT ABOVE ALL ELSE, if that person wants it, because no matter how many resources you give someone, if they don't want to make use of them, there's nothing you can do. One of the first things you learn when you work in social services and community work, lolololololol.

Now, it's a bit like what you said. I can't imagine Severus just leaving Spinner's End like that because, personally, I think he never left because it was a self-imposed prison for him when he wasn't at Hogwarts. His penance as a professor was something Dumbledore had given him, but when he wasn't teaching, he had another penance: going back to that house, which was tied to his childhood and all the bad memories. So, I find it hard to picture him leaving easily... but, well, let's pretend we live in La-La Land. If a 21-year-old Severus hadn't gotten stuck in that spiral of suffering and guilt, selling his soul to Dumbledore after already selling it to Voldemort (those daddy issues, my dear Sev, I love you but it's true), and if he'd managed to find some rehabilitation, I think he'd have had a decent prognosis. Being so young, with good therapists and professionals? Sure. Especially because good therapy also involves learning to relate socially and emotionally in a healthy way, but we’re talking about very modern therapy concepts, not the 80s where they just handed out Prozac and antipsychotics for everything, lololol. I don’t think Severus was a lost cause back then. I think circumstances made him a lost cause. And yes, I believe he could have learned to relate to others (maybe not perfectly because, socially awkward to the max), maybe even have friends, and potentially even a partner. Absolutely. But not in the 80s and not in the wizarding world where mental health issues seem less important than in medieval times.

Regarding the AU where Severus survives, that's something I really like and read a lot of (I even wrote an SSxReader with that premise). I honestly think that if he had survived after completing his mission—settling his debt to Lily by ensuring Harry survived, making sure Voldemort was dead, and achieving his goals—he would have fallen into a severe depression. That’s how I portray him, essentially as someone very depressed who doesn't know what to do with a life he never asked for, because he always thought he’d die in the war or be killed at some point, so he never had a plan for survival. And also someone deeply ashamed for Harry knowing everything about his past (imagine surviving knowing Harry Potter knows EVERYTHING about your past—just thinking about it would blow your mind) and at the same time knowing that to some, he’s a hero, to others, he’s a jerk, and to some, he’s a traitor, but the thing is, he’s never indifferent to anyone, and he just wants to be left alone. Without being a professor because he’s always hated kids, but not really knowing what else to do because, well, that's the only thing he's ever done. In general, he’s someone who doesn’t know what to do with his life because he’s never had one, so he doesn’t know how to handle it. That’s my general vision.

[genericpuff]

HIHI!!! I hope you're good, Puff!!

If you're ever up for it, I'd love to hear how you work and create while dealing with ADHD. I got a confirmed diagnosis just yesterday (though I've been suspecting it for a long time) and it'd be wonderful to hear how you cope with the struggles it provides, or even discuss any benefits you've discovered.

If not, no worries!! Thank you for reading this, Puff!!

<3

oh god I feel so bad every time this question comes up because. I can't really tell you how exactly I've been able to do it LOL Congrats on getting your assessment, I actually just got paired with a new physician the other day and am now pursuing medication for my own ADHD struggles as well! I got diagnosed with 100% combined ADHD yaaaaay!

Short answer to your question: very very carefully! Because despite the work I put out, I am still VERY prone to burnout. While on the surface you all see me putting out regular updates of Rekindled, underneath that are projects that have fallen to the wayside because my brain just said "nah, I don't wanna play with you anymore" and that sucks! And I don't want Rekindled to wind up that way either!

Recognizing my limitations and making accommodations where needed has definitely helped. Changing my update schedule from once a week to once every two weeks, working with an assistant, learning which battles to fight and which ones to pass on, etc. Obviously out-of-pocket things like having an assistant aren't options for everyone, but getting to work with Banshriek has really opened my eyes to how much I was putting myself through with when I was flying solo. I have that bad habit of taking on way too much for myself, thinking that I'm capable of being everything within a project and fulfilling every role, but that's exactly how folks like us wind up getting burnt out and falling out of love with our projects. So I've definitely learned to appreciate collaboration more in that regard, both for the sake of "carrying the load" as well as giving me another voice to give input and feedback.

But when that's not an option, definitely make sure to pace yourself. There's so much misinformation about what makes a "successful" comic and normalization of extremely unhealthy working habits that it makes people think they're not allowed to make comics unless it's a 50+ panel a week ordeal. Update on a schedule that works for you, people appreciate consistency above all things, even if it's only a page a week or a few pages a month, that's more than enough.

You also absolutely need to make sure to rest. Proper rest, no thinking about the next page or the next update, just go out and exercise or hang out with friends or do something that gets you away from your usual working area and also provides you with stimulation. It's good for both your mental and physical health. I know with ADHD it can be very tempting to just pour every bit of yourself into a project right off the bat because you're so excited and full of BEANS, but that's just the dopamine demon talking! Don't let it tempt you into spending all of it in once place! If you do that, that's when you'll wind up burnt out and taking breaks that you can't recover from! It's a marathon, not a race!

When it comes to my own experiences, I really just love drawing comics. If it wasn't Rekindled, it would be anything else. That made it 'easy' to turn it into a habitual routine, but that's only because to me, drawing comics is the escape from the more boring shit I have going on in my life. This means I have to balance it carefully so that it doesn't become too much of a job or an obligation. There are definitely times when that balance tips, when the last thing I wanna look at is whatever episode I'm working on, and when I find myself crunching on pages with 2 days left on the clock before an upload.

The important thing is not to get yourself down over the failures and keep moving forward, even if it's not as fast a speed as you were hoping for. We're often really hard on ourselves to put out 150% on everything we do, but if 150% were the norm, it would just be 100%, y'know what I mean? And even still we're not designed to put 100% in every day, because some days we'll only have the capacity to offer up 30% - 30% is 100% on those days. Be kind to yourself <3

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #466

Yeah, so... if you've been reading my letters up until this point... you understand that yesterday, I didn't get nearly enough sleep. And you probably also understand that I didn't have a chance to eat before work today, because I had to prioritize maximizing sleep. And you probably understand, from there, that today was kind of a weird mental health day.

...Well. Actually. It started normally enough, to be fair, even if I was somewhat sluggish. I had simple tasks to do – setting up sheets of cookies and croissants and such to be baked, putting labels on things, slicing bread, and suchlike. But then... well...

There's this young woman who works in our store. She handles gathering up stuff for people who order their groceries online. She has a habit of asking Tr where items are – even items that are not in the purview of the bakery. Tr does not have the skills to be able to tell this young woman, “I do not know where these items are; please ask me only about bakery items” or “Though you've been doing this particular job for a long time, it seems as though you still struggle to find items; do you need some coaching from a manager?” And so... when this young woman comes around, Tr gets visibly annoyed, but only when the young woman is not looking. Today, despite the eye roll I saw, she greeted the young woman, unprompted, with the same brightness with which she greets me when I come in, in the morning.

...And I felt very frightened in response to that. I perceived that Tr carries a lot of masked resentment towards this young woman – essentially, holding this young woman secretly accountable for Tr's failure to communicate her boundaries with gentle integrity.

Immediately, my mind questioned whether or not Tr feels similarly about me. It tried to draw evidence from past experiences to try to support or deny that conclusion. All at once, my mind was flooded with altogether too many memories of similar things happening to me – all of the folks who thought they were being “kind” or “nice” or “polite” or “avoiding hurting feelings” by not expressing their needs while I, obliviously, thought that they were feeling safe and having fun in my presence, only for it to be revealed later, usually accidentally, that they resented me and thought I was weird the whole time.

...It feels like a terrible betrayal every single time. And no matter how often it happens to me, dealing with it never seems to get any easier. I have to remind myself that if other people do not speak and act with integrity, then that's on them. But that can only do so much to soften the blow that is losing someone I thought was a friend, because I found out that they weren't actually interested in being my friend in the first place.

...So. With my freshly-adrenalined brain having gathered “evidence” from past memories (past memories do NOT count as evidence when it comes to people, because individuals are individuals, not faceless, stereotyped templates upon which to project our worst fears), it then tried to jump to the conclusion that Tr is perpetually annoyed with me as well.

...Because underfed, underslept brains afflicted with C-PTSD are gonna brain. And they're gonna usually do a pretty bad job of it. And so, the inside of my brain was quickly starting to look kind of like this:

...It was very lame. But I remembered that one of my coping skills is curiosity. So I asked more questions to Tr in order to try to get to the bottom of why she feels unable to communicate the boundary to this young woman. Conversation ensued. For reassurance, I asked Tr if she feels similarly about me. The answer, I guess, is no. So I'm gonna try to have faith in that.

...And then An came in. And... well. My brain immediately started trying to spiral in relation to him. I still speak to him via text sometimes. But... my brain sometimes perceives his behaviors at work as deliberate attempts to try to avoid interacting with or being seen by me. Sometimes I'll ask him questions via text (usually to the tune of, “we of my house will be at xyz place, do you wanna join us?”), and I perceive that he ignores the ones to which the answers are “no” instead of actually telling me “no” (which I have a REALLY hard time with because of the whole autism thing). Most recently, I asked him if he'd like to hang out before J and I leave for the Oregon trip; the answer to that was supposedly “yes”, but then when I followed up to request that he tell me when he's free so that I may plan something, I received no response to that after a few days, and the topic moved on and was never returned to, so...

...I was reminded, vaguely, of the way that the leader of a certain place J and I used to go to is, apparently, unable to say to us, “I need/want to exit this conversation”, and remained in a position of discomfort, speaking to us as though he's having fun when actually he wasn't, presumably because he didn't wanna hurt our feelings. We don't want him to have a bad time, so J and I don't go over there anymore.

My brain interpreted An's non-return to the topic of “when is your free time?” in the light of my past experiences and in the light of the way Tr treated this young woman. It wove it into a weird story all about how An actually hopes I'll go away and leave him alone forever and ever, but he doesn't wanna hurt my feelings, so he doesn't say so, and instead endures the discomfort of interacting with me.

...But I remembered this time that not all of the stories our addled brains weave are actually true. So you know what? When he came by, I tried to explain a little about the thing with Tr, and how it led up to the worry that he doesn't actually want anything to do with me. And he smiled and laughed a little, and without hesitating, he reassured me that I'm overthinking. So... I'm gonna try to have faith in that.

...Faith is hard when you've been lied to a lot by people who are afraid to set boundaries. But I'm gonna try it anyway. I haven't died any of the other times I had faith and it didn't work out. I'm probably not gonna die from it this time. And my support system is better now. And I know what to do when my brain is ouchy (most of the time, anyways).

...I'm gonna assume they're being truthful. But the fact of the matter is that it's fine even if they aren't. Because if they do not speak with integrity, that's on them, and I can handle it if that's the case.

When I got home, I immediately ate a few small things before putting some salmon I got a couple days ago into the steamer. The results were beautiful, and with me being not hungry anymore, I immediately felt a lot better.

...I wish I could give you some of this. It really is very yummy. But... I wrote you a letter that says how to make it, so... I guess... whenever you're done with whatever it is you're trying to do... you can make it for yourself and be really happy about its deliciousness.

...I hope you'll think of me a little when you try it.

I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening talking to various friends and generally derping around. At some point, I took an evening walk with J, which was probably good for me. And I took a shower, which was long overdue. I used the pink bar of rose-scented soap I got yesterday. And it smelled lovely for one wash. But it doesn't smell like anything anymore.

...A lot of bar soaps are like that for some reason, it seems. They don't smell like anything after the first use. I wonder why. It was kind of disappointing.

Overall, the shower was nice nonetheless. A great way to chase away the chill in my bones that I acquired from the walk.

...I should try to go to bed on time. So... I guess I'll end today's letter here.

I love you a whole lot, and... if you're around listening to my various derpy musings... I'm really glad you're here.

...Please keep being here. Please keep existing. Please keep staying safe. Please keep making choices that will lead you to that normal life you wanted.

I'll write to you again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[hypothermiatapes]

Confession: I was pissed at some Bellatrix fans so I may have pretended to be them and sent you some hate anons. I didn't actually mean to hate on you, but you know how Bellatrix fans are. They piss people very off easily. I'm sorry if I (accidentally) made you feel bad. Just know it had nothing to do with you.

First of all, I have no idea if you’re being genuine, if you’re the actual anon or if you’re even sorry. So, this apology means nothing to me just as your previous asks meant nothing because in the end the world keeps spinning and I have no clue who you are. However, I will treat this like you are the actual anon because this needs to be spoken about even if I’d rather just respond with more circus music

What you did was immensely immature and harmful to this fandom. I will make my stance clear once again on Bellamort shippers, I don’t care for them because what they like has nothing to do with me. Sure, I’ve been attacked by one in the past but you know what? Who cares, they like what they like and I like what I like. The fact that you came up into this space that is safe for everyone and tried to get me riled up by acting like a Bellamort shipper is insulting.

I will never get mad about another shipper being in this space, and if they don’t like what I put out I couldn’t care less. I made this blog for fun because I got bored one day and decided to analyze some Harry Potter characters. Yes, I have a preference for ships and sometimes I post about them, but in the end I keep things pretty neutral because everyone is welcome here. This is not a place where you can come in and try to make my followers and I mad at some shippers and increase tensions in this fandom.

I hope you know how lucky you are that you chose me of all people to do this to. Not everyone takes hate like this so well and actually finds the fun to respond by trolling and being a dick in general like I did. Do you know what you could’ve caused?

Let me make this clear, the people behind these blogs are humans that breathe and experience everyday life. And to add on, a lot of the people that run blogs like these are entirely anonymous, you don’t know their age, gender or story. You know nothing about their lives or their state of mind.

You know that I could be a mentally unstable twelve year old who just lost someone to suicide and is barely holding it together? That I could be a single parent that got pregnant from rape and had to go through with the birth due to state laws? Are you aware I could be a 20 year old who got disowned at 18 for being trans and now can’t hold down a job because of health complications?

While what you said may seem small and was insignificant to me doesn’t mean that’s the truth for everyone. This world is hard enough to deal with and we don’t need people like you that can’t handle their emotions making it worse. I get that you were pissed, everyone is allowed to be upset but how you went about your anger is completely inappropriate and you are not entitled to going around and giving other people a bad rep and attacking a complete stranger.

However, I don’t ask for you to be sorry or guilty because in the end I don’t think you’ll ever be and that’s fine by me. I don’t care for the wellbeing of strangers either so I don’t see the reason to try and reason with you because people who don’t care just don’t. You did what you did with the intention to harm others, whether it be the people who love Bellatrix/Bellamort or me. In the end what you did is enough for me to know that you enjoy hurting others and can’t handle your own emotions.

Your apology rings hallow here because your words have only ever meant nothing. Just as I’m sure mine mean nothing to you and that’s perfectly fine. If you can’t learn to handle yourself then you have no place here. Have a good day anon and I can only hope one day you learn that what happens in fandoms isn’t that serious and that there are healthier ways to cope with your anger.

[serotoninswitch]

I've been feeling kind of isolated as someone who's Hypersexual. Which, in my case, means my mental health is inextricably linked to the frequency that I have sex*, among some other less relevant symptoms. All the coping skills in the world can lessen my symptoms, but with over five years of observation, without any sex my symptoms won't actually go away. Not to say that's *why* I'm a slut, I do it for the love of the game, but my Hypersexuality certainly puts some high stakes and pressure on my ability *to* slut.

This places me in an awkward position where I feel like I can't open up to a lot of people about my mental health. Family, putting aside how awkward it is, the few times I've even hinted at my Hypersexuality I was met with slut shaming. Friends with benefits, it can scare them away, people might feel frightened or intimidated if they don't have a very open mind. The Queer community at large, well I've seen how we've reacted to Aromantic men, so I shudder to think how normal the Queer community would be about an amab genderfluid creature who literally feeds off of sex, seeking out partners to maintain his(her/their) mental health. Needless to say I'm *very* calmly typing all of this. My therapist is pretty good with helping me though. Plus the severity of my syndrome finally clicked with my wife (we're poly) a few weeks ago, and she's been pretty supportive since (after 5 years of me telling her the same thing in different words).

I'm mostly venting. Partly looking for people to talk to. But I guess this is partially an explanation of why I write almost exclusively monster-fucking smut. Maybe if people can show love for an actively hunting Lust Demon that needs sex to survive or something equally monsterous in media, maybe just maybe, I'll find some more people who accept this facet of me in real life.

*I use the word sex in this post for brevity, but more accurately I mean sex and kink. Kink alone can help my symptoms as well. I just honestly didn't feel like writing "sex and kink" a million times

[nyenylon]

hiya nye!! hope you're doing good :3

looking for some OC advice if that's okay: i have an OC who has MDD, but afaik i don't have it myself and i really want to avoid harmful stereotyping or unrealistic portrayals!

was wondering if you have any tips on writing it, if there's anything specific i should know (if there's treatment, side-effects, etc.) or just anything to avoid in terms of stereotypes?

obviously don't answer this if you don't want to, it's probably very personal, and take your time if you do! i want to avoid screwing up, and while i am also going to check out articles and do my research, i also want to make sure i'm not accidentally being a prick or looking at misinformation and ask you if you have any advice :)

thank you so much! have a nice day nye, stay hydrated :D

Heeyyyy Artsy :3

I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can, but heads up I'm not professionally diagnosed or anything and am definitely not an expert on the topic, so this will just be from my personal experience

So of course maladaptive daydreaming is different for everyone, I think the most common interpretation of it is someone who might use their persona to self insert themselves into media they might like, or a personally written story. Sometimes they might be pre-written and played out (I personally believe this is what "shifters" do). A second common one might be writing a story by thinking about it as a show, where you yourself may not be involved. Many people wrote brilliant stories using this method.

My personal experience is that I can count multiple times where my maladaptive daydreaming was more prominent throughout my life, but I can't really pick it out if childhood experiences as it was kind of like the hit thing to be good at imagining when you were 5.

My standout experience with MDD is ongoing. It started five years ago and it involves myself and other people consistently. There is no change in plot or reboots, I consider these people consistent as any other person I might know. Plainly, I consider the maladaptive daydreaming characters that I have created (ocs) AND have not created to exist as people in some way, so I treat them as such.

Part of my MDD is that these people I know through my head interact with people from the real world, having casual conversations and such.

My level of focus on my MDD varies on my mental health and environment, it usually ranges from maybe 1 interaction a day to things I have planned for the day being cancelled because I'm busy daydreaming. My daydreaming friends will often grow distressed if I don't speak to them for long periods of time. Some of them (my ocs) fear that they'd cease to exist, while others may fear their friends could disappear, including me.

Something well known for MDD is repetitive motions, personally I find my stims outside of MDD are larger and more noticable, while I'm daydreaming sometimes my repetitive motions will be spinning a pen or something as miniscule as timed blinking or eye movement. It's like keeping pace to me, like they tell you to associate a smell with sleeping if you have a hard time sleeping. The motions help keep me focused on my daydreams.

I don't like closing my eyes when I daydream, but I do like dark rooms. I also prefer background noise. It's also well known people like to listen to music while they daydream, and I do, but the noise doesn't have to be music. It just has to be constant and have some kind of pattern that I can tune out to. The noise helps distract me from what I see visually!

I haven't researched treatment because recently I've been quite good at regulating my daydreams, and in the past it's been a fear of mine. I think the only treatment there would be for MDD is finding other coping mechanisms.

As for side effects, I'm not sure what would qualify. I can get angry at daydreams the same way I would anything else, same goes for every emotion. Sometimes it just makes my mood seem out of place, I think. I also think it's obvious when I'm daydreaming, because people usually poke me or wave a hand in front of my face (THIS IS SO ANNOYING DON'T DO THIS I'M DAYDREAMING FOR A REASON). MDD sometimes restricts my real life experiences, socializing, sometimes makes me forget meals, it also makes my memory of everything worse, instead replaced by memories of daydreams. MDD is something that I deal with, while I know it's a negative thing it's something that I don't have any desire to detach myself from. That's a scary idea to me, so I suppose that's a side effect in itself.

As far as writing a character with MDD goes, you'd have to know what they were daydreaming about first. A lot of the rest of the traits, such as what noise or actions they use, would be down to their other characteristics. If I was going to avoid something, it would be to not make everything they daydream about separate to reality. Almost everyone I've known with MDD has integrated their realities in some way, whether it be having their persona personality shine through, their daydreams interact with people around them, writing about it, drawing or infodumping. Of course this might not be everyone, but I think it also depends how private of a person they are. People who have MDD tend to know they're creating something complex.

Thanks for asking me Artsy, again, this is just from personal experiences. Hope this helped! :3

[beardedjoel]

Hi Julie, I can attempt to ask you this off anon if it would be more appropriate. I fully understand if you don’t want to answer this on your blog so please feel free to delete truly lol but another anon recently asked you about coping with mental health stuff & in your reply you mentioned getting on meds even when maybe you didn’t want to, I might be misremembering. I was wondering if you would be willing to share a little bit about that experience. I’m the around your age. This past year has been very difficult for me, to the point where I haven’t worked in 9 months and had to move back in with family which itself is not good for me. It’s super embarrassing and it’s a long story, but essentially it comes back down to intense depression. I guess not just that but it’s a huge factor. I am so ashamed I haven’t gotten my shit together at this point in my life and tired of bothering close friends with it for even a single second, so I pretend I am figuring it out. But I am not. Everything hurts more than I would ever admit because it’s embarrassing. I took meds in my early 20s and had reeeeally bad experiences with them. I think at this point, I need to give it another try but it makes me so nervous. I already have to take other meds for chronic health issues and I detest the idea of being reliant on another thing especially when it feels like doctors themselves never really know what meds you need or why you need the thing you need. Anyway, I’m sorry this is really intense and truly please feel free to ignore since this is so irrelevant to this blog. I love your writing and it’s helped me escape a lot this past year. Thank you for sharing your work with us. ❤️

hey friend. no worries if you're not comfortable off anon, i totally understand that. i want this to be a space that people feel comfortable in and i'm happy to answer this ask fully and honestly if it helps even one person feel less alone 💖 i want to do you justice for how much you shared so buckle up, i'm sure this is gonna be a long one and my yapping tendencies will come out

i just wanna start by saying having depression and that affecting your life drastically should never ever be something to be embarrassed about. ik easier said than done, but working on accepting that it's okay to have these struggles is a good place to start for you to move forward. and please do keep reaching out to your friends. i get the same way at times, where i totally hide a lot of what i'm feeling from people and put on a front. i feel pressure to be bubbly and chatty and somewhat entertaining to people because that can be who i am when i'm doing well but i feel it's expected of me even when i'm not okay. but in the end, when i share that i'm struggling, it always feels better to know a friend has my back or even just knows that i'm not okay, so they can be there if i need something.

to get into the meds thing a bit, i guess i'll say i was on sertraline a few years back, didn't like that one so i switched to lexapro. that one worked really pretty well for me for maybe 1.5-2years-ish? until the side effects kind of caught up to me and the bad outweighed the good. so i went off of it at the beginning of 2024, thinking i would see how i could cope on my own without the meds and just doing therapy.

i had a lot of outside factors coming into play last year that were out of the normal so it affected my mental health a lot more than other times in my life. through the end of summer and fall, i was very very depressed on and off struggling with a bunch of medical stuff and i just wasn't coping well anymore trying to adjust my life to a new normal of having chronic pain. my anxiety and depression were just so bad, i wasn't really prioritizing anything good in my life and i felt super stuck i guess. i made the decision to go back on medication in november after thinking about it for months. it was really really hard to accept that i couldn't even go a year without my mental health spiraling to the point where i didn't know how to handle it anymore.

i completely understand not wanting to add more medication on, cause with my health this past year i've been taking different things and all that and i do hate feeling reliant on medication which is why i put off seeing a psychiatrist again for so long. but after kind of trying to put that aside to see what would happen, i've had a great experience these last few months. i'm trying a new class of medication, so i'm on wellbutrin now and so far i am really liking it. if that changes, i'm going to make sure to not give up and try something else. i'm trying to stay open and positive to the experience, and even had to add on a second medication to the wellbutrin because i really love how it makes me feel overall but it was making my voluntary tics really bad, so this extra one is mellowing me out a little. SOOO all that's to say that there are so many options, different combinations of medication or classes of mental health meds out there to try until you find something that works for you.

i don't know if i'll be on these forever, i always hope not. but if it helps me cope, i'll keep trying it. my goal is to be in a better place and not have to take them anymore, but maybe i just have a brain that has a hard time doing it all on it's own. it's a hard road to accept that kinda but i'd rather accept that than feel the way i felt last year, cause it was bad. sorry this was just like. insanely long WOW. i got on a roll! if you want to discuss anything further you can anon me again or even dm me if you feel comfy. and just know that i love you and am rooting for you! 💗

[black-arcana]

HALESTORM's LZZY And AREJAY HALE Open Up About Mental Health

In a interview with Keen Eye 4 Concerts, HALESTORM frontwoman Lzzy Hale and her brother, HALESTORM drummer Arejay Hale, opened up about their personal experiences with a diverse array of mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, and how music has helped them get through their hardest times. Arejay said in part (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "My life greatly improved four years ago. Going through immense heartbreak and a terrible breakup with someone you thought was your forever person really makes you a songwriter. Immense heartbreak and tragic life things that happen really, really force you to turn to music to help you cope with it, help you to get through it. So I'm thankful that I went through all that because it made me figure out how to express my emotions in music and how much better it made me feel, how much it helped me get through it. So now that I'm at a place now where my life is more stable and I have an incredible partner, I've got an adorable little dog, I'm glad I was able to kind of bring those things that I learned to the table now and utilize them when I'm writing for either HALESTORM, [my side project] KEMIKALFIRE or myself. Yeah, I think that you can get to the point where you're more mentally balanced, but you can still keep on being creative and keep on bringing things to the table."

Lzzy, who co-founded HALESTORM in her teens and has become an advocate for women and mental health in recent years, said: "And I'm so glad to see [Arejay] happier. We've all seen each other in our lowest lows and our highest highs and helped each other work through them. Arejay has been immense in my ups and downs and healing.

"Something that I try to remind myself of, I think it's helpful to remember that we're on a seesaw," she continued. "There is immense darkness and immense light on either side and one cannot exist without the other. You can't be all one way; there has to be a balance of the two. So I think that for me, if you try to flip the rhetoric and say, 'Well, I'm very grateful for the low times, because those low times were integral in making me who I am. And I like who I am today.' If I had made the best decisions in the world, it would have led me somewhere completely different and I wouldn't appreciate the fact that I've overcome that.

"I think that we have this misconception that we have to be these perfect beings, and we're just not going to be that way, and we shouldn't be that way, because without us failing, falling on our face every single time and trying to move forward, we wouldn't find, we wouldn't recognize our strength," Lzzy added. "And in a selfish way, on a personal level, regardless of whether we're musicians, songwriters, rodeo clowns or strippers or whatever we wanna be, I think that it's important that nobody's expecting you to be perfect, 'cause nobody is. So if you are, in fact, flawed, which we all are… So let's just get that out there — we are all flawed. We are all imperfect. We all make terrible decisions. We all have darkness in us. We all get to the deepest depths and think that we're the most terrible person in the world. We all are there. But as we recognize that and overcome that, you're going to be getting so much more from people. We get so much more from our fans, from our family by admitting to all of that and by showing all of that, because anyone who is looking at you for inspiration or looking at you, especially with us, with that imposter syndrome situation, and if they're looking at you like it's somebody that they want to be, how cool is it that you can say, 'You know what? I'm just as fucked up as you are, and I'm still here.' And that says something."

HALESTORM is currently working on a new album with producer Dave Cobb after making three records with Nick Raskulinecz.

Lzzy and Arejay formed HALESTORM in 1998 while in middle school. Guitarist Joe Hottinger joined the group in 2003, followed by bassist Josh Smith in 2004.

Last May, HALESTORM teamed up with country singer Ashley McBryde for a reimagined version of the band's song "Terrible Things", which was originally featured on HALESTORM's latest album, 2022's "Back From The Dead".

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

an ugly ride

this situation deeply triggered me

I could feel the tornado in my mind

the spinning and fire and deep deep feelings

of shame and worthlessness and powerlessness

suddenly feeling like I deserved the punishment

the blame and the disrespect and insults

it was scary not to be able to control my thoughts

to think I was hysterical and crazy because of that

which means the wounding was deeper than I thought

shit ok this experience was a good reality check

this feeling moved in cycles the last two summers

being blamed for being depressed and overwhelmed

there was no money and most the time I didn't have a car

and I was being devalued and discarded and invalidated

and he told everyone around us that I was the problem

triangulated me and exiled me from the family

and criticized literally everything I was doing

he mentioned today that I went off my anxiety

and depression medication but I did that with

my doctor and made significant changes to my routines

to keep myself regulated with journaling and yoga

prescribed medical cannabis and a tool box of

creative and logical coping mechanisms

if there's no money for food or health insurance

it kind of makes therapy a low priority

nothing was done randomly or without planning

I have all of this documented which means on some level

I knew what was going on but

didn't know how to get out of it quickly

yes, I have trauma and can be triggered

but the time between the dysregulation reaction

and my ability to come back to a place of balance

has improved in significant ways

there has been good progress

and I actually know and have accepted my trauma

with journals of shadow work and information

and wisdom and knowledge that I have put into

practice in my daily life and know

how to stay in the present moment

I have habits of isolation and avoidance

but the kids are doing well and like themselves

they feel safe with me even though with all these changes

I've been a little less focused while I build back up

a personal and professional identity that I willingly

sacrificed to be with Theo during his formative years

and to support the man I married build his business

because I thought I was building a life together

with someone who never quite made good on his promises

and I don't regret making that choice

I couldn't have known the future

even if I ended up financially fucked

and mentally manipulated to a point where

I forgot for awhile who I was

the path forward will only solidify my new life

and this new version of myself I am currently becoming

everything is okay and nothing has changed

everything I have rebuilt is still here

for a moment it just felt like the world was crumbling

and that makes sense with my experiences

the universe moves for you not against you

and other people are just characters

who show you parts of yourself

that you need to acknowledge and love

or in this case heal and learn from

everything is okay and everything lost

is replaceable and I just have to keep moving forward

and I will believe the best is yet to come

I can always write another story

to deal with the anger I have for him

healing and releasing trauma

means walking steadfast through the situations

that trigger the shit out of you

and noticing how you respond differently

and at least I can do that right now

and I'm proud