#I'm like “ARE WE TALKING ABOUT SSKK NOW??”

[starlostlix]

BSD 123 POSES MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!!!

spoilers under the cut!!

FIRST THINGS FIRST A NEW FREAKING CHARACTER!!!!! I got into the manga around chapter 100/101 so this is I think the first time i've witnessed a new character introduced in like real time (besides Gozen if he counts).

And here they are, Ueda Akinari! We've only seen a bit of their design but I loveeee their bob. Served.

(BTW i'm using the wiki mostly here so I do recommend searching up more about the author yourselves! this is just an overview)

So the author Ueda Akinari was a Japanese author/scholar/poet in the 1700s. His writings were often about supernatural powers and creatures - an early pioneer of the genre Yomihon. He has two main famous works, the one inspiring the character's ability being titled 'Ugetsu Monogatari', or 'Tales of Moonlight and Rain' - a collection of 9 short stories adapted from Japanese and Chinese ghost stories. Interestingly the character design has a scar on the left eye, which may link to how the real Ueda Akinari had temporary blindness before regaining vision in his left eye.

We learn that this character is the creator of Amenogozen, and has had no visitors since its creation 1500 years ago. They've likely been trapped in the divine being's core since the creation or not long after. There's a theory this could be 'that man' fyodor mentioned being who he had fought against previously, which i like the idea of. Anyways I am so so excited about this new character and what their lore may be!!! Here's how Fukuchi described the origin of Amenogozen for some more context :)

In other news we do have Atsushi and Akutagawa centric parts of the chapter. Focusing on Atsushi first, he is opening the door to the core and talking to the hallucination of the Headmaster.

I think we now have Atsushi truly rejecting the influence of the Headmaster on his life. For most of the story Atsushi has wanted to get the Headmaster's teachings and memories, and it's great that we could be seeing this happen. Although the way Atsushi reacts to the Headmaster saying he will be gone by even today is interesting. It looks kind of fearful, maybe fearing what would take his place and if something worse is on the horizon, or that he is so used to his presence that he wouldn't know what it would be like without it. But the Headmaster is gone when the door is opened, so maybe he's gone for good now? We will have to see.

Then, Akutagawa! His arc is so interesting right now and this only furthers that.

So Akutagawa is getting beat up by Gozen right now, and he's saying his vampiric healing is slowing and he could be minutes away from death... kind of insane dude. But even at this point he doesn't think of Dazai anymore!!! This chapter seems to have both parts of sskk freeing themselves from their previous abusers which I think it great parallels for them and great character development. Even more interestingly, AKUTAGAWA IS THINKING OF ATSUSHI!!!! THINKING OF HIS PROMISE NOT TO KILL PEOPLE FOR SIX MONTHS!!! THINKING ABOUT ATSUSHI'S ADVICE ON TRUE STRENGTH!!! THINKING ABOUT ATSUSHI'S SACRIFICE FOR HIM!!!

(also thinking of his mouth in the void... thinking of his lips akutagawa I know what you are/j)

And the focus on Akutagawa's eyes!!! THERES MORE LIGHT IN HIS EYES WHEN THINKING OF ATSUSHI!!! He then talks about how Atsushi is 'his ordeal', and he wanted Atsushi returned 'to me'... dude. Akutagawa is finally acknowledging his connection to Atsushi and how much he means to him and it's wonderful!!! The SSKK developments in recent chapters has been so good i'm so excited to see where it can go from here.

[I'm really excited for the direction the story is going right now it looks so interesting! It's late for me tho so I've ran out of more ideas now but I may add more tomorrow if I have any more thoughts.]

[mikayuumouse]

Now every time I hear the word "fool" I go into cardiac arrest. Thank you, chapter 121.5

[hannigramislife]

Saw your thoughts on dazai ships and wanted to hear about your take on akutagawa ships.

Entrapta voice: You're asking me about my theories?? I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories!

Hello friend! Thanks for the ask! I love talking about Akutagawa, he is my heart and soul, so this will be fun! I will take the chance to also thank you about your interaction with my posts, it makes my day ^^

Now, let's get into it!

Shin Soukoku (Akutagawa/Atsushi) - This is everything to me. Absolutely everything. They're in love. They're soulmates. They were created by the same ring of laughter. An angel lost its wings and they both fell in Yokohama, waiting to be reunited. Sskk is the definition of "whatever souls are made of, his and mine were the same." I cannot accurately describe how happy they make me. I can't even give a coherent and objective reasoning as to why they're the best ship ever, they just are. "Just the two of us? / Do we need any more?" WHY ARE YOU RECITING YOUR WEDDING VOWS NOW, GOD–! Anyways. 1 billion/10.

Chuuaku (Chuuya/Akutagawa) - Similarly to my other post, I don't get people who have a problem with this ship. It's cute, it's beautiful, it makes me happy. I talked to my friend about this issue once; like, why is multishipping not a thing in this fandom?? Maybe I want to jump around dynamics??? Can skk give me friends to lovers?? No?? Great, Kunizai it is. Like, why can't we let people ship other shit than skk and sskk?? Anyways, Chuuya and Akutagawa care for each other, there is mutual respect, they would be a great comfort to one another. I say valid, 10/10 ship.

AkuHigu (Akutagawa/Higuchi) - I love, love, love this ship. Love them. They're so cute?? Like, I'm a die-hard sskk fan until I die, but I would LOVE to see more of this ship. The scene where Higuchi goes to save him?? Where Akutagawa gains consciousness and the first thing he does, before he can properly gather his senses, is apologize to Higuchi?? Also, the whole episode where she's stalking Gin because she thinks she's dating Akutagawa?? Their interactions in Wan?? I actually fucking love them. Every time the focus is on them, I feel like I'm watching a shoujo anime. Higuchi makes me think that Akutagawa would be a romantic. I need more of theeeeeem. Literally they're born to shoujo and forced to shounen. 10/10.

Dazaku (Dazai/Akutagawa) - Since I expressed my frustration with the fandom regarding this in the Dazai ships post, I will focus on my opinions about this ship. Honestly, it makes me feel kinda awkward? When I think of them in a romantic manner? Feels just a little bit like missing a step. However, it's an interpretation I would be open to if I could be convinced that Dazai actually, you know, likes Akutagawa? Like, you know that one scene in Lady Bird that's like "I wish you liked me / You know I love you / But do you like me?" That's how I feel the dynamic is between these two. Yes, Dazai is hoping Atsushi will be good for Akutagawa, and yes, he is happy Akutagawa stopped killing, and God knows what his plans are for the future – but do you like me? Valid ship context wise, neutral territory, I just need a little more from Dazai before I can make a final ruling.

TaniAku (Tanizaki/Akutagawa) - LISTEN GUYS. LISTEN. I BLAME BEAST FOR THIS, BUT THESE TWO ARE SO, SO, SO IMPORTANT TO MEEEE. I unironically love them. I don't care that Beast is the only canon I have to work with for this ship; it's so good. Like, the way Beast Tanizaki understood Akutagawa?? The way he supported his revenge mission from the get go?? The way he stormed the Mafia HQs and fucking held an assassin hostage just so he could help Akutagawa?? Ride or die. That bitch. I would actually die if I saw them interact in canon. Like, that's your bestie in another life. 100/10. I need them. It is a need.

TachiAku (Tachihara/Akutagawa) - I have no serious thoughts about this, to be honest. I think it would be lowkey hilarious. I haven't had nearly enough interactions between them for me to get attached to this ship in any way. Plus, now that we know more about Tachihara's...real self, I would love to see more of these two! I am going to allow this ship, and hope to see these two at least fight by each other's side in the future!

I think that's it for the most popular ones, please let me know if I forgot any ships!

[blackwaves]

hello kavi blackwaves i love your big awesome brain and would like your input. idk if you remember (i lost the post) but forever ago we were talking about the requitedness of sskk and you said something about them not quite being /there/ yet in terms of their relationship - do you think atsushi’s sacrifice is that moment for you?? chinhands. there’s a weird sense of finality in it for me but also there isn’t bc so many of their problems are unresolved. and i wonder about how akutagawa will process it, since he’s so used to displacing a lot of the resentment he feels about other things (i.e. himself, dazai) onto atsushi. thoughts?

!!!! hello tumblr user spliqi fascinating ask to receive i'm vibrating rn. had to dig a bit for this, but i think the conversation in question was in the notes of this post, for reference. and. hm.

honestly i've been expecting this battle with ame-no-gozen to be a turning point in sskk's relationship and i stand by that even more now, especially with the equalizer of atsushi sacrificing himself in a direct and explicit parallel to akutagawa doing it. (like. thinking about the fukuchi fight; i know people view it as a failure in its entirety, but they did so well there by the end— each fight they're in together, they grow and they learn in their partnership).

i think it's like... they're still weird and complicated to me, and their dynamic will always have its weird tension, but i think this is specifically a turning point in the way that they approach one another? maybe not very specifically this chapter and this scene because i'm still holding out for the "just the two of us" of it all, but: this fight/conflict as a whole, i think. i don't think they'd be the same to me without their willingness to bite and scratch at each other—they are callous and challenging with one another in a specific way that i think is a defining trait of their dynamic—but i do think they'll be at. a specific equilibrium after this fight. count themselves as partners rather than just two people thrown together by fate and dazai.

also just related to bsd as a whole: we're currently at the culmination of an arc with an antagonist who's been circling at the edges of the narrative from the very start. akutagawa is displaying skills/powers we haven't seen on him before, and atsushi is presumably about to be doing the same; they're both playing in a new dimension. sskk tend to have a battle at each major beat in a way that ties the overarching plot to the development of their relationship, and it makes sense for this specific one to be impactful in a way that means: they're partners and they chose it, and they can and will trust each other with that.

the double sacrifices to me confirm that primarily because, it's so beautifully: they're choosing each other, amongst it all and in undeniable ways.

[nihilo-sensei]

Atsushi and Akutagawa Talking For the First Time Since the Vampirism Incident After Running Into Each Other at a 24-Hour Izakaya (Platonic or Pre-Slash SSKK)

[Akutagawa flicks a zoned-out Atsushi in the nose after their coffee arrives]

Atsushi: "Ah! What was that for!?!"

Akutagawa: "Wherever your mind was heading was unbecoming of you, weretiger. I invited you to sit with me so we could conveniently debrief each other about our last joint mission, not so I could watch you stare out into nothingness."

Atsushi: "You could've just said something."

Akutagawa: "You're right."

Atsushi: "… But you flicked me in the nose instead?"

[Akutagawa gives a deadpan look to Atsushi; Atsushi sighs and sips his coffee]

Atsushi: "Fine. But I don't know why you want to. I'm sure you've already read your organization's reports on it… and probably the Agency's, too."

Akutagawa: "Of course I did, but there was something that wasn't in any of the reports that I wanted to ask about. Specifically, I want to know why you spent valuable energy trying to reach me while I was a vampire rather than engage me in combat."

Atsushi: "You remember that?"

Akutagawa: "I remember only that. I wasn't really conscious for the rest. But I do know what happened immediately after that. So why did you leave yourself vulnerable like that instead of fighting? Even you should've been able to put up a stronger defense than you did."

[Atsushi runs a hand through his hair in irritation]

Atsushi: "God, you're such an idiot."

Akutagawa: "What was that, weretiger!?!"

Atsushi: "I said you're an idiot. Are you really asking me why I tried to save you!?!"

Akutagawa: "No, I'm asking why you stupidly risked everything to do it!"

Atsushi: "How did I risk 'everything'!?!"

Akutagawa: "I tore your limbs off!"

[Atsushi stares at Akutagawa as though staring at a puzzle that's just starting to make sense]

Atsushi: "Akutagawa, is this really about the mission or is this just about what happened to me?"

Akutagawa: "I don't know what you mean."

Atsushi: "You died for me. I think you do know."

[Atsushi exhales; Akutagawa stares in silence]

Atsushi: "I tried to save you because I think you're worth saving, alright? After everything that's happened between us — us talking about our pasts, you telling Kyouka you were happy for her, the deal, fighting people together — I can't just pretend like you mean nothing to me. You're my partner, Akutagawa. When Dazai threw us together, I was resistant to being a team because of the bad blood between us and because I didn't really know you or understand you. But I do know you now and you've grown a lot. I'm ready to take your advice and move on from the past and embrace being a team now, if you're willing."

[Akutagawa stares at Atsushi, completely stunned; he drops his gaze to the table as he silently grabs his coffee to give himself time to process everything; he sips before looking back up at Atsushi with a soft smirk]

Akutagawa: "Sappiness isn't going to get you out of our duel, weretiger, but nice try."

Atsushi: "Are you-!?! You're seriously gonna make fun of me after all that!?!"

Akutagawa: "Yes. Making fun of you is part of my job. You're my partner, after all."

[Atsushi gives Akutagawa a surprised look before giving a smile of his own]

Atsushi: "I guess I'll just have to get used to it, then. Lucky me."

[Atsushi's expression turns more serious]

Atsushi: "I have some questions of my own, but I'd rather ask them later. I want to just enjoy tonight. It's the first time in while I've gotten to just relax. I do have one question that I want to ask now, though, if you don't mind."

Akutagawa: "You may ask."

Atsushi: "Your lungs are okay now, right?"

Akutagawa: "How did you know?"

Atsushi: "You haven't coughed once the entire time you've been here."

Akutagawa: "I don't know how, but yes, my brief time as a vampire seems to have healed them. It's… strange — living on borrowed time, actually dying, then coming back with time to spare. I'm not really sure what to do with myself sometimes. Before, I just threw myself into my work and rarely stopped because I felt like I couldn't."

Atsushi: "We'll figure it out."

Akutagawa: "'We'?"

Atsushi: "Yeah. I mean, if you want. We're already a team, but… we could be friends too. You don't have to be alone just because you're off the clock."

Akutagawa: "I'm not alone. I have my sister."

Atsushi: "You know what I meant."

Akutagawa: "Very well. Since your inexhaustible supplies of sentimentality and stubbornness have backed me into a corner, I accept your offer of friendship."

Atsushi: "… Did you just blame you having a friend on me?"

Akutagawa: "We can just call it 'giving you credit' if that makes you feel better."

[Atsushi rolls his eyes fondly]

Atsushi: "How generous you are, Akutagawa."

Akutagawa: "You're welcome, Atsushi."

[quijabored]

OKAY SO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING LIKE THE ENTIRETY OF S3 FOR BSD SO UH SPOILERS FOR A LOT OF IT BUT ESPECIALLY THE ENDING CUZ HOOOLYYY SHIIITTTTT

I JUST

I CANT PUT MY THOUGHTS DOWN INTO COHERANT SENTANCES SO LIVE LAUGH BULLETPOINTS ((o(^∇^)o))

OKAY SO AKUTAGAWA AND ATSUSHI???

THEYRE GONNA WORK TOGETHER ARENT THEY I JUST KNOW DAMN WELL DAZAIS GONNA LIKE MAKE IT SO THEYRE COINCIDENTALLY PAIRED UP TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF A GUY

ALSO THE PROMISE ATSUSHI HAD AKUTAGAWA MAKE??? FYM AKUTAGAWA CANT KILL PEOPLE HES IN THE *PORT MAFIA.*

Just realizing I don't know how to do the whole colored text or different font thingy BUT ANYWAYS

STILL I LOVE ATSUSHI FOR THAT AND SINCE IT WAS MADE WITH A GOAL IN MIND, I REALLY HOPE I GET TO SEE AKUTAGAWA DEVELOPMENT

AAAAHHHH HES SO SILLY I LOVE AKUTAGAWA HES MY SON

SPEAKING OF SONS

IVAN??? HES SO ME LIKE HE IS SO ME????

ASAGIRI WAS SPYING ON ME WHEN MAKING IVAN FR

Funny thing when I first started getting into the fandom bit for bsd and I saw Fyodor being simped on I was like "eeehh I mean I guess hes cool but I dont really get it. Like sure hes an interesting character but..." AND THEN I SLOWLY STARTED BECOMING A FYODOR SIMP AND I JUST SKDHKSJD I HATE THAT MAN I HATE THAT MAN HES SUCH AN ASSHOLE

please I love him so much hes such a bitch I hate him I love him so much

"If Fyodor told me to cut my skin off I would" FUCKING SAME

ALSO AAAAAA THE ENTIRE TIME LIKE I WAS JUST STIMMING LIKE IM TELLING YOU IT WAS AJSHSKDJSJ

I HAVENT HYPERFIXATED ON A SERIES LIKE THIS SINCE THE PROMISED NEVERLAND (Specifically the manga. Miss you Yuugo)

AAAAAA ALSO THE FACT THAT CHUUYAS JUST STUCK IN POES STORY??

AND POE BEING LIKE "But if Ranpo were to die what would be my reason for living..." LIKE HELLO??? I LOVE MY OTHER SON (Poe)

AND AND AND FYODOR???? AHHHHHH HES SUCH A BITCH I LOVE HIM

THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS REALLY COMMUNICATING QITH MUSIC??? ALSO THE SURPRISED AND SHOCKED LOOK AT THE END WHEN DAZAI FOUND HIM??

I KNOW WE SEE MORE OF HIM LATE BUT FUCK

ALSO FYODORS ABILITY?? From what I saw it seems that it's just kill by touch but if Dazais like "welp, idk" then I'm guessing it's a bit more complicated than that AND I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS AAAA

Also Mori and Fukuzawa did the sskk punchy thingy they did in the end of S2!! I'm not sure if people ship them (I refuse to take in any content about Mori) but if people do then win for them :D

Also Im extremely excited to see Nikolai cuz hes me minus the Ukrainian terrorist bit BUT AAAA I HOPE I GET TO SEE HIM SOON

JUST SEARCHED IT UP ITS S4 EP 5 AND AAAAAA

I can't watch BSD until tommorow now cuz I wanna have a minute to process everything BUT AAAA I CANT WAIT TO WATCH S4

Fyodor made me feel so many ways I love him

AAAAAAA OKAY SO MY FAVORITE BOY (Akutagawa) IS ALSO SUPER SILLY THOUGHOUT THIS WHOLE THING LIKE

THE SCENE WHERE ITS LIKE "Are you sure youre the real Akutagawa?"

"Yeah."

"...And youre not gonna try and kill me?"

"Yeah."

"What did you have for breakfast?"

"Yeah."

LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Live laugh love Dazai but FUCK MAN AKUTAGAWAS TRAUMATIZED

Like don't get me wrong I love Aku how he is and I'm gonna love him more when I learn more about his character, but god damn it hurts to watch him seem so reliant on Dazais praise and Dazais approval like akdjkajsdj Ive been there my boy :(

ALSO I FEEL SO BAD FOR KUNIKIDA LIKE HE HAD TO GO THROUGH SO MUCH THIS SEASON

I PROBABLY HAVE OTHER THINGS TO SAY BUT AHDKSJDKWBD I LOVE BSD AND I CANT REMEMBER WHAT ELSE I WANTED TO YAP ABOUT BUT AAAAHHH ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI- ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU-

Twas talking about this scene earlier btw :3

AH ALSO WHEN FYODOR GOT SMASHED WITH A WINE BOTTLE??? HELLO??? I LOVE HIM BUT I STARTED LAUGJING AT THE SCENE

[cocktailjjrs]

So, Chapter 112 is out.

We don't exactly get much of explanation or distinction from S5 ending ep.

Mori, he really just glued in the fangs for FUN! What even is the Mafia! (Plus, Dazai Laughed!) We had old man Yaoi. I am not going to talk about it as we already know what went down there. We got Kunikida, Atsushi and Tanizaki. And Gogol man being sad (it broke my heart again to see his reaction). Ngl, even i would be sad if someone killed my Situationship But not Chuuya calling out that Situationship, lol (That was my exact reaction when a friend of mine told me she was in one and how it works) SKK bickering, still. And Fukuzawa being handed the greatest responsibility.

All in all, everything we had seen so far, only an added reaction here and there.

Next chapter will most likely also follow through the rest of the episode. But nothing much is left, so chances are that we may get new content. Or latest by April.

This all seems well and good, but I'm suddenly feeling anxious about how things are going to progress further.

I've said time and again, BSD takes 'it can't get worse than this' phase and just proves it wrong again and again. We reach new rock-bottoms every time.

So, things looking up now, gives me anxiety that something is going to go horribly wrong. (Cue the flashback of the 'Two hours later' bit)

All things that can horribly go wrong:

Everything with Soukoku at Meursault. I find it so weird that we are not getting detailed explanation of how things are proceeding there. We have seen Dazai and Fyodor play mind games for so many arcs now, there is always an explanation at the end of each one. But this doesn't have that 'satisfactory' level of explanation yet. Yes, Chuuya again came to Dazai's aid, but how? How did Dazai knew that the Vampires were turned in his favor. Would killing Fyodor (if he actually is dead) really be wise? How is he sure that it was Fyodor plan all along to get killed and he played right into it? You know when things are kept ambiguous, as most things related to Prison break arc are, it means there will be some facts that will come in light later. And that's what I'm scared of because it can be anything! It does not help that Dazai is yet to take that antidote! What if it doesn't work? What is Nikolai goes for revenge? Since he love's loosing himself and that's why he fought, so what if he continues? Can Chuuya's gravity manipulation even be effective against someone like Gogol? He can just go from one place to another, dodge all of Chuuya's attacks. We also know he can use his ability with Dazai as long as he isn't touching him. What is he takes the antidote form the case before Dazai can take it? That makes him such a kryptonite for Soukoku.

Then we have,

The Shin soukoku's battle against whatever that (Fukuchi) was. Two hours, if you think about it is not a long duration of time for things to start fucking up suddenly. There must be something already laid in waiting for it to start going shit when time comes. We are yet to get the details of how the Vampirism is going to wear off. Because it does, Akutagawa was back to normal when he was fighting with Atsushi. Sskk teaming up is well and good, but can they stand against that being? They had a hard time dealing with Fukuchi only a while ago, this enhanced being will be much tougher than them. What if this also is set for failure? only for the world to be purged into more chaos? Maybe i'm being a bit to pessimistic, but i've lost confidence in the mangaka's they always do the unexpected and kill everyone's favs, fr.

That also makes me think

Will taking on the role of Mankind's leader, lead to Fukuzawa on a deeper end? We know he struggled earlier, before founding agency, with his assassination work. He had refused to work in the war for a reason. Won't this be undoing everything he's worked for so many years? Also, taking in that honor from their government (or officials, i don't exactly remember what it was. I'm talking about the appreciation symbol of katana'?' they received at the beginning of S4) that basically led them to take on that case that declared them terrorists. Won't taking the role of Mankind's Leader also make Fukuzawa susceptible to be declared as the Mankind's Enemy? This seems similar to that previous situation. Reminds me of how Ranpo called this responsibility, or last wish, a curse. And Ranpo is always right, so there's that. Maybe that's how they are going to introduce the next adversaries?

Too much uncertainty and what-ifs.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

ADA Member -> PM Deal Fic Poll

Please reblog for a larger sample size.

I already wrote about Tanizaki Port Mafia AU (where he decided to join on his own), so besides him, who should I write about? I'm talking about being selected for the transfer, not voluntarily joining. (Excluding Yosano, ofc as well as Kenji, and Kyouka b/c just nO!)

Might include ships, but might not depending on the person.

Here are some ways I think each member could be good in the PM:

FUKUZAWA

no extra training required

knows Mori

is at least somewhat familiar with Yokohama's underground

canonically has bloodlust

and only stopped killing because he knew it was BaD

people would be AFRAID

Kunikida and/or Ranpo could take over the ADA

it’s really interesting b/c if he goes Ranpo might follow

and then where would the ADA be?

The fic would prob be tortured Fukumori

slowburn (idk how good I am at writing slow burn but we'll see . . .)

The rekindling of old failed toxic love that was killed before it could really get anywhere or see if it could bloom into something pure

now they have to figure it out in their new circumstances

and if it even can work

but first, they'll have to admit that there's still even the faintest hint of something there

and even then Mori will have to WORK for Fukuzawa's love (don't worry)

KUNIKIDA

organised and efficient so he could easily manage trading operations domestically and overseas

smart even if we may not see a lot b/c of dazai and Ranpo

could probably pick up languages easily

I think he'd be great at undercover work since he's actually capable of being subtle

and he is used to being around *normal* people more and has better social skills

I also feel like he's the type who he can look totally different with a different hair style (or colour) or even if he just takes off his glasses or doesn't wear his little vest or something

and his ideals don't align exactly with the law, only what he thinks is right

he’s willing to do what is necessary to get the job done

if joining the pm and controlling Yokohama’s underworld means less crime and violence overall then he’ll do it

I still think he wouldn’t kill but

he'd prob be really good at interrogation and combat missions that didn't involve killing (like theft or kidnapping for information/money or something)

I don't think he'd be the perfect fit but if they warped or broke him enough he could be absolutely terrifying in the mafia

No ships

Kuni has way higher standards (58 criteria to be precise) and these FREAKS meet none of them

A fic with him would probably be hella angst.

I'm not sure I have a very good grasp of his character yet, so out of all the options, I'm least enthusiastic about writing for him.

Also, I'm already doing a Hunting Dogs AU for him.

ATSUSHI

obviously, his ability

it's the full deal: strength, speed, agility, regeneration

the perfect partner for sskk

the thing last Mori needs for his SKK 2.0

his combat skills are a little haphazard (relying on brute force mostly) 

but Kunikida has been tearing him in martial arts a little 

even though they have hardly any time with all the CHAOS

you're prob thinking "NO WAY! He literally says he needs to save people to live! That's like his whole thing!"

you're right

but if Mori or the other executives warped him, I think b/c he's so insecure, they could convince him

(kind of like they did Kyouka, only her will is stronger than Atsushi's)

that violence and destruction and killing are his purpose and what he was born for.

But, I doubt Mori would go the route of telling him it's all he's good for and that if he doesn't do it, he's good for nothing again.

He knows it didn't work the first time and it's too easy to reverse, especially since Atsushi has already been with the ADA.

I think Mori would set about convincing him that he deserves to let his anger out for all the world has done to him

that the world is his enemy and that he should punish it

that people deserve his wrath for allowing a society where he could be treated the way he has been to exist

Prob slow burn eventual SSKK

on this blog, we say Aku is just fine, perfectly okay, and doing well

They're still going to fight like angry cats

Aku will prob realise his feelings when he finds himself missing Atsushi's old personality

idk

meanwhile, Atsushi is just drowning in the brainwashing

the "bliss" of anger and he's too unaware even to fight it

still, SSKK become partners

and knowing them, it's to the point where only they don't know they are together

them "not-dating" will prob be like their messed up therapy and break Atsushi's trance or smth

maybe they hide the fact that he's not mind-controlled or whatever form Mori

Atsushi might still decide to stay just to keep any other agency members from being transferred

and who knows he may even learn to like it

idk

I haven't thought too far ahead yet

it's too late and I should be in bed but

ANYWAYS here you go!

NAOMI

I know I said I wouldn't do Junichirou

but if you're getting one, you're getting both

They’re a package deal

(Mori might take her just to get Junichirou because he knows they won't leave each other and then he'll end up using Naomi's skills as well)

and what's not to love

besides Jun's crazy killer skills

Noami is smart, savage and a little cruel (how she treats Jun when he's seasick) and unhinged

(thinking of the time she suggested Atsushi do sexual stuff for his entrance exam)

not to mention Dazai tutors her

If you can't have Dazai, why not have his student?

(I swear that's canon, correct me if I'm wrong though)

she has the potential to be heartless, sadistic, and terrifying

She also likes to see people (Junichirou, at least) squirm and be uncomfortable or suffer to some extent.

idk

maybe that’s just their dYnAmIc though

(thinking again of how she treats him when he says no to her and is clearly uncomfortable. Also when she talks loudly and obviously about sexual stuff in front of others.

I’m not sure if it’s intentional or if she really is that insensitive or unaware of how it makes others feel

I suspect the former

this would be a DARK fic

she'd have her villain/corruption arc (YASS, slay Queen)

maybe if I focus on her story more it won't seem TOO repetitive from my Tachizaki mafia fic.

Idk

what the people want, the people get

but we just know sooo painful little about her (aside from her in relation to Jun since their *thing* is kind of her whole personality *cringe*)

unlike some I still like her

If I did there would be no ships

idk even know who to ship her with from the mafia

or maybe I’d be BOLD and go for the ewwie incest

idk

if not then prob very background Tachizaki

Again, please reblog for a larger sample size.

[asagirisfavpen]

The new chapter was crazy. Like wtf??? Ratstoievski (Fyodor) got the One Order??? And he has Bram's ability??? Does that mean that every time after he gets killed by an ability user he has 2 abilities??? Wasn't there like a rule that u can only have one??

Also, am I the only one that thinks that Fyodor doesn't actually care about Aya like he pretends? I'm pretty sure bro is lying again.

And wtf do u mean Teruko is an actual child??? Like, when I saw the leaks I was pretty sure she gonna be fine cuz she's an adult. Nup. My girl is like 12. She ded. Also, did I read that right or are my reading comprehension skills shit? SHE WAS MONTHS OLD WHEN SHE FOUGHT IN THE WAR??? I swear to all the Gods that could possibly exist that if I see one more person talking shit about her I'm going to jail for torture and murder.

Oh almost forgot to mention that FUKUCHI FUCKING ABSORBED THE LIQUID SHE WAS TRANSFORMED INTO AFTER BEING STABBED

And the fuck u mean Fukuchi is being fully controlled by Fyodor? Bro isn't playing fair! Like, Fyodor is (kinda) immortal, he got the One Order, he got Bram's ability ("echoes" of it, but still) and a motherfucking tripolar singularity that's as strong as a God??? Not fair. Chuuya, Verlaine, move ur asses to that airport now.

And no Ranpo??? Where is my son??? (I'm younger than him) Huh??? Is my baby ok?? Is he hurt? He gotta be alive, right? Fukuzawa, Aya and Teruko survived the thingie-thing so he probably did too. Right???

And how come we didn't get skk or sskk this month?? It's Pride Month. Asagiri is being homophobic. (Jk, I don't ship either) But hey, we finally got some Atsushi. A whole panel!

Also, I will assume that since we didn't get any more Sigma or Fyodor's memories, Sigma will wake up soon. Probably knowing how to defeat Fyodor.

And wdym Fedya just "came up" with the war?? Didn't Fukuchi see it in some vision from Ame no gozen or smth? Did Fyo just walk to him and was like "Uhm so... there will be a war in like 40 years. So we... uhm gotta eliminate the ADA. Oopsies."???

I can't anymore

So long story short, BSD is becoming Naruto (everyone is over powered and gay and idk what's going on)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Okay, a good amount of time has passed, and after having seen this post by @weretiger-be-my-horse , I've been turning it over and over in my brain going absolutely feral over this concept. I need to expand upon my thoughts on this idea and all the evidence there is pointing towards it, whether that be actual tangible things, or purely strong vibes I have.

First of all, full disclaimer: I did not like the season 5 finale, and how it wrapped up the DoA arc. To say that I "disliked" it is putting it extremely lightly, in fact -- I absolutely hated it, and I am still, to a degree, in disbelief that I actually even watched those 24 minutes with my own two eyes, and that it somehow wasn't a complete fever dream. While I'm not going to go in long-winded detail into all the ways that I feel like the finale almost completely bastardized all of its featured characters and destroyed any and all buildup we've had going on in this arc for 50 some chapters now, because that's not the main point of this post, I will not make any attempt to hide the fact that the theory-crafting I'm about to pose here is partly influenced and prompted by how much I hated the finale, and how much I desperately hope that it will not end up being manga canon. Therefore, if you enjoyed the finale — and that's fine! — and don't want to read any negativity about it, then I would not recommend reading any further (I mean, you've probably already left by this point, which is fair lol), While obviously it's important that I be as objective and unbiased as possible when explaining my thoughts, some of my negative feelings about the writing will be a part of this analysis, even if this isn't going to be a full-blown rant. Just know that if you proceed.

With that out of the way, let me continue.

So. In the aforementioned post, the theory presented is that the anime may be operating on an alternate timeline, and that this will become evident once we read the upcoming October chapter, wherein things will go completely differently post-chapter 110 than they do in the final episode — probably for the worse, with the s5 finale intending to lull us into a false sense of security and make us assume that everything in the manga arc finale will wrap up as smoothly and consequence-freely(? lol) as it did in the anime one. It also suggests that the Fukuchi we see at the very end that sskk are fighting came from the manga timeline, where he won, and that he used the Book to jump to a timeline where he lost, the anime one, proven by the fact that this Fukuchi is wearing a mask with the same design on it as the mask Fukuchi is wearing on the chapter 110 DoA color spread/title page.

First of all, I want to note the fact that it's not just the mask design that's the same: the entire outfit is roughly more or less the same as well. It's not completely 1-to-1, because the anime can never fully match the intricacies of Harukawa's beautiful outfit designs, and the Fukuchi in this scene has the kimono half-off because of the... super saiyan mode he's in, but most all of the main pieces of clothing are there. Any small inaccuracies could also be attributed to the fact that Harukawa probably didn't have this finalized art ready back when this episode was being made, so the animators wouldn't have had the complete design to work off of. But in general, because it's all so similar, I think we can quite confidently say that the ending episode Fukuchi is meant to be the one from this manga art.

Also, people have pointed this out, but it's worth mentioning that the mask Asagiri wore at Anime Expo in July was referencing this Fukuchi. It's not a crucial detail, but it just proves more that Asagiri is a gigantic fucking troll, and that he clearly wanted to draw attention to this Fukuchi design. It's important. He describes the mask here as made in the motif of an ellipses inside a speech bubble... could that perhaps be referencing meta aspects, like the Book?

Next, I want to talk about the even bigger elephant in the room, which to me is the most damning and undeniable piece of evidence there is of the anime operating on a completely separate timeline from the manga:

This Fucking Hand™️

As we all know, in the anime, Fyodor injures his hand when the password input device blows up, and as we all know, this does not happen in the manga. In the last episode, Dazai claims that the final nail in the coffin of his impromptu plan to kill Fyodor relied on this hand injury: because Fyodor couldn't pilot his escape helicopter himself, he would ask one of his Meursault vampires to do it for him, unaware that Bram and thus this vampire was now on the ADA's side, and said vampire could kill him while his guard was down.

Ignoring how utterly stupid and contrived this plan is when you stop and think about it for more than two seconds, the fact of the matter is that something that initially seemed like nothing more than an odd but inconsequential anime original addition ended up snowballing into being the entire reason one of the big bads was brought down. If Fyodor hadn't hurt his hand, he wouldn't have needed another pilot, and so the traitor vampire wouldn't have had an opportunity to get near him and kill him without him expecting it even though said vampire was presumably with him as they were leaving Meursault, and was probably already a traitor by then, so there was plenty opportunity for him to still die. not to mention by Chuuya's hands at literally any time he wanted to, because Chuuya was coherent the whole time. Also there's absolutely no way Dazai could have known exactly what Ranpo would do, no matter how smart he is and how much he trusts him. idk it's fucking dumb, just roll with it. Therefore, putting aside all other variables for now, we can conclude that, on the most basic level, this signifies that no hand wound = no death.

And let me tell you, this hand wound bothers me. It really, really does. Because they focus on it a LOT — they go out of their way to draw attention to it MULTIPLE TIMES, from the moment it first happens to the end of the season. Fyodor even talks about it to himself, about Dazai being able to cause him tangible, visible, bodily harm, (something that, again, as far as we've seen, has never happened in the manga). Hell, even after Fyodor's death, they're still drawing attention to it, because his right arm is all of him that survives, and Dazai picks it up and gives it to Nikolai to do his hilarious sad little gay fondling of it played completely straight even though there's nothing straight going on here at all! It's like it's a big red flashing sign at all times going "you see this injured hand? This is important. Are you picking up that it's important? Are you taking note of it?" Why is that? Obviously, it serves to give us the lore crumbs about Fyodor and "that man", but that's hardly the main, much more glaring reason, as I've already mentioned.

Fyodor doesn't hurt his hand in the manga. Fyodor won't die here in the manga. I am so dead serious by this point about this, and it's not just simply the fact that this was absolutely not at all the time for him to die, or the fact that his hand is the reason for his death in the anime in and of itself, but how much EMPHASIS they place on this, and on the hand in general. What would be the point of adding something like this, if it's not meant to alert us to the fact that it has a major impact on how the story plays out? We all know Bones: they struggle to get right and include everything that's already there in the source material; they would never go out of their way to add something this noteworthy if there wasn't a very good reason for it, if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I've seen a few people bring up the fact that Fyodor gets shot in the shoulder by Sigma and that that could lead to the same outcome in the manga, but I disagree: although he has blood on his shoulder in the manga, it seems like the bullet just grazed the top of it, because his arm and hand appears completely functional afterwards (not hanging limp by his side or anything). But that doesn't even matter, because this isn't even about the semantics/logistics of how the hand wound caused Fyodor's death because again, it's a stupid outcome, or what could serve as a substitute in the manga — thematically, this is a textbook example of the butterfly effect. Countless parallel universes exist within this series, ones where even the most minute differences lead to a majorly different outcome: this just happens to be one of them. There's no reason to think it isn't, and there's no reason to not think that the anime wants us to clue into the fact that things only went as smoothly as they did on the Meursault side because of this wound; in other words, that things will go very differently in the manga thanks to the absence of said wound. They wouldn't have added it in the first place and put such clearly deliberate emphasis on it otherwise.

Things are going to happen very differently in the manga, at least when it comes to the Meursault crew (but then, if you assume that, you then naturally assume it all will be very different). This is the only conclusion one can come to with the presentation of this anime-only wound, combined with the fact that parallel universes are a very real thing in BSD.

I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent, so bear with me. I play a lot of visual novels, and although such concepts aren't really as original now as they were a while ago, some of my favorite and some of the very best VNs out there are the ones that break the fourth wall and make the visual novel branching route format directly intertwined with the story: you know, the ones where the characters go "if only I had done things differently, maybe everything would have turned out better...!" in a wink wink nudge nudge moment, and the ones where the characters are aware of the different timelines, even, or even have the ability to gain information from their selves in said alternate timelines to influence events in their current one (I'm intentionally not naming the games I'm thinking of for the sake of spoilers, but if you know, you know lmao). It gets very meta in this regard, and this is how I started viewing BSD through the lens of ever since I first learned about Beast: like a visual novel with many branching routes, and only a few routes that feel entirely "right".

When I first read Dazai's Entrance Exam, I was struck by how unnerving the ending sequence in the abandoned hospital felt. Obviously, Kunikida's internal struggle over Sasaki's actions and motives is him still desperately clinging to his ideal world that does not exist, but the specific type of phrases he uses — "who is wrong?" "[who is] the cause of all this?" "there has to be an ideal world" "there has to be something, I'm sure of it" "There must have been something we could have done!" — and the framing of the scene in general, is eerily reminiscent of a bad ending in a visual novel, to me. There's a haunting, looming, bleak sense that a different outcome could have been achieved, if different decisions had been made, or if things outside of anyone's control had been different... and we know that this is true, because in Beast alone, Kunikida never goes through the Azure Messenger incident, because Dazai doesn't have his entrance exam. Hell, you could even consider the anime's version of the Azure Messenger arc an alternate timeline in of itself, if you really wanted to, long before we even arrive at season 5.

When it comes to Beast, this timeline has almost the opposite feeling of what I described above, that I've also encountered in visual novels: the idea of a "good route" or "good ending" that still doesn't feel quite earned, or as perfect as one would expect. Beast is presented as the "ideal" timeline purely for one sole reason: Oda is alive. It is the only timeline where he's alive, and keeping Oda alive is the ultimate goal Dazai wants to achieve, the only reason this timeline exists; therefore, disregarding all else, Beast should be the best timeline, because Oda's death is the greatest devastation in the series to date. We all want him to live, so why wouldn't the timeline where he does be the best one? And yet... of course, it isn't. Dazai is alone, and steeped in darkness and loneliness without Oda, and dies by the end of the story for Oda's continued living. Atsushi has Kyouka still, but he's suffering and more traumatized, and unable to heal while stuck in the mafia, and neither can Kyouka. Akutagawa is living a much better life in the ADA... but without his sister, and without what he has from his bond with Atsushi in canon, that isn't replicated in Beast. And Oda... Oda is alive, and he has his children and his novel, but there is a feeling that he is aimless, that something in his life is missing. He has everything he ever wanted, but all that means nothing without what he truly needs: Dazai, and his time with Dazai and Ango at the bar. In this way, things going well and us getting what we want — in this case, Oda living — goes against how it's supposed to be, the natural order, which is why it feels so hollow. In the specific visual novel I'm thinking of here as a comparison (again, shoutout if you know), there's an alternate ending that involves you inputting information you gain at the end of the game very early on in the game, wherein the protagonist now has memories of the future and is able to bypass and prevent all of the events that take place normally. This means that people who die or are hurt somehow in general are saved from that fate, and nothing bad ever occurs; everything wraps up neatly and nicely... but again, there's an undeniable, unsettling feeling of emptiness, of a victory that rings hollow, because what's the point if everything is simply handed to you easily, where's the sense of accomplishment, without any struggles to achieve said victories, or any growth along the way? How can it feel earned if one doesn't have to, in Dazai's words, "scream within the storm of uncertainty, and run with flowing blood"?

You can probably already see where I'm going with this.

This finale feels weird. Really, really weird. It feels too cheap, too simple, too unsatisfying. So much so, in fact, that for almost the entire runtime, as I was bombarded with resolution upon resolution one after another, I kept thinking "There's no way this can be real. Where's the catch? When is the "gotcha!" moment gonna happen? The "it was all a dream" reveal?". And this isn't just because I hated the writing, and that it really did feel like a fever dream watching fanfic levels of bad (actually, that's an insult to fanfic writers, tbh; they could do better) — no, it genuinely feels so incredibly fake. Even upon rewatching it and already knowing what happens, my brain still naturally keeps expecting some kinda of "sike, you THOUGHT!" moment to suddenly appear. It just.... feels "too good to be true". Dazai and Chuuya come out unscathed, and it's revealed that they were never in any real danger to begin with. Fyodor, one of our biggest threats, is dealt with supposedly for good (I say "supposedly" only because of the Jesus line, but if anything imo, I think that's just a hint that this won't be the canon ending in the manga, so in a sense he's going to "come back to life"), and Nikolai seems somewhat at peace with his death. The other biggest threat, Fukuchi, is also dealt with, and he and Fukuzawa get their final moment together of closure. Yes, Sigma is left in Meursault don't even get me started on how angry this alone makes me, and Fukuzawa loses Fukuchi, but overall, everything is portrayed in a positive light, and any negatives or losses are quickly glossed over. Everything is tied up nicely, neatly, and smoothly. ...And that is exactly what makes it feel so wrong, and hard to trust in.

I'm not sure if this will make sense, but to me, the finale is so incredibly poorly written that it almost feels.... intentional. It's so bad to the point of feeling self-aware in how bad it is, how unrealistically happy and convenient an ending it is. It had to end this neatly in order to rush to wrap up this arc for the season finale and not leave the last episode on a cliffhanger — which imo is chiefly the main reason it turned out this way, and, if this whole theory is true, Asagiri just used it to his advantage — and I'm not saying this was probably an effect Bones had in mind intentionally, I'm sure they just threw shit at the wall and went with whatever stuck, maaaaybe with some suggestions/approval from Asagiri, but the result is that you have a conclusion that contradicts so much of what was set up before and goes against so many character arcs, making some characters so out of character and even regressing in their development Dazai. I'm talking about Dazai abandoning Sigma, because he would never; hashtag #NOTMYDAZAI. Also Nikolai, Nikolai for most of that is so ooc I can't even begin to describe it oh my god. Everyone is OOC to a degree though lmao, and opens so many plot holes, to the point that it's impossible not to watch all that and get the feeling that it is subtly saying to you "did you really think it could be this easy? It feels wrong, doesn't it? It doesn't feel satisfying. It feels unearned." I find it incredibly interesting and suspicious in particular that they confirmed multiple theories people had about soukoku in Meursault: that Chuuya slowed the elevator's fall so that Dazai wouldn't die from it, that Chuuya slowed down the bullet so that it only penetrated Dazai's skin and not his skull, and that the both of them used Fyodor's camera angle to their advantage because they knew he wouldn't be able to see certain things from his view. I'm not saying that Asagiri trawled BSD twitter and tumblr after those chapters dropped for the most popular theories before the final episode was made lmao, there was no time for that (imagine though lol—), but I do think it's highly likely that he already had in mind exactly what theories would be made about these parts (I mean, the evidence for the gun scene was all there), and that Dazai rattling them off in his long monologue to Fyodor at the end is essentially him speaking to the audience and going "yeah, that's what you would predict, right? Those are the clichés, after all", much like him suggesting earlier that he can maybe bring Chuuya back to himself with a few moving words and the power of friendship, and Fyodor using the split personalities trope to fool Sigma. We expect these tropes to be true. Of course we'd fall for them, as Fyodor tells Sigma, especially if the evidence is right there. But Asagiri himself has explicitly said that he likes doing the opposite of what people expect. And so just because people predicted correctly with the three things I mentioned in this timeline... doesn't mean they'll be true in the manga's. Things happened how we wanted and expected it to, and everything turned out happily. So we can relax now, right? Everything will work out just as easily in the manga, right? Or... is the reason most of this finale feels so fake and unsettling and unsatisfying because it's meant to lull us into a false sense of security before all our heroes lose in the manga? Because deep down, we don't want an ending that's this simple, because we'd rather have a conclusion where our characters have struggled more and grown more and come out the better for it, and we know it?

After rewatching the episode a lot, and watching some other videos, and doing a lot of thinking, I am pretty confident in suspecting that the only part of this finale that is actually from manga canon, aside from Aya jumping off the building of course, is Fyodor and Nikolai's exchange after Fyodor leaves Meursault — specifically, them talking about Fyodor leaving Sigma behind, and their "new game" and Nikolai being excited at the prospect of it. This little conversation actually feels in character for them, and it's easy to tell this when contrasting it with everything that happens immediately after, wherein Fyodor is fatally stabbed, and Nikolai, completely at odds with what he was just talking about, just... stands there and watches Fyodor die while Dazai monologues lmao. I'm not sure if the helicopter is still a factor, but I would bet good money on Fyolai getting out of Meursault being manga canon, and that Dazai and Chuuya getting out as well and killing Fyodor + everything with FukuFuku, is part of the anime original ending, in order to wrap up everything positively. It makes much more sense if you think about, in reality (aka in the manga), Dazai and Chuuya still being left behind in Meursault (where they can eventually try to get Sigma), because none of it was an act and things did not go according to plan, and Fukuchi having an entirely different goal that doesn't feel so stupid and contradictory to his character, and Fukuzawa possibly dying — everyone seemingly loses, with Aya still being the last hope, perhaps by awakening her ability like we all speculated.

There's a youtuber I watch who covers BSD in-depth, despite being an anime-only (she reads the respective manga content after each season, though). Going into this finale, she knew about the fact that the anime had overtaken the manga, though she didn't know where the cutoff point was; despite that, however, she made predictions about what was from the manga so far and what was anime original, and it was almost entirely spot-on, based mostly on what she basically described as "anime original dialogue." She talked about how you can always tell when dialogue is veering into the realm of anime-original, because the sentences are very short, choppy, and slightly out of character, but generic enough to not be TOO out of character, and so that anyone can easily write said lines, even if they're not extremely familiar with the character like the original author would be. And when I heard this explanation, everything clicked — because so much of this finale has dialogue like that. The Fyolai scenes just feel peppered with it, around the lines I mentioned earlier, the Dazai dialogue does too, and ESPECIALLY shit at the end like Fukuchi and Fukuzawa exchanging the cliche death lines to end all death lines: "Are you there? I'm a little tired." "Rest up." That just isn't Bungou Stray Dogs. That isn't Asagiri. BSD is cheesy at times, yes, but it isn't like this; it's smarter. The dialogue is smarter, the explanations/plot twists are smarter, Asagiri is smarter, and the aforementioned youtuber I watched agreed. She's a pretty casual fan of the series, so if even she could pick up on these things, I think it speaks volumes.

I mentioned this briefly earlier, but this theory makes sense if you consider that this situation probably came about because of Bones wanting two seasons back-to-back when they did, and this arc being as long as it is. Season 3 aired in 2019, and I imagine Bones would have wanted season 4 in 2020, and might have then been willing to wait a bit longer for season 5 in order for more of this arc's manga chapters to come out — but then covid happened. Because of that, season 4 was delayed to 2023, creating the longest gap we've had between seasons, and I wouldn't at all be surprised if the delay made them want season 5 right together with it, after getting so far "behind", so to speak. S4 was announced in November of 2021, and roughly around that time, Asagiri was finishing up writing the plot of the DoA arc. If Bones came to him sometime in late 2021 and said they wanted two seasons now (so basically, one giant two cour season), Asagiri would know that not only of course would this arc not be finished publishing in the manga for a very long time yet, but that roughly 20ish episodes would not be enough to cover it all to the end, with this arc being longer than any arc the anime has adapted to date. Because of all this, and the arc manga chapters being nowhere near fully drawn to completion, he'd have to make a decision about what to do, and what to give Bones. Without ending season 5 on a massive cliffhanger that wouldn't be resolved for years until an eventual season 6, the only other option would be to rush towards an anime-original ending for the DoA arc.... and for Asagiri to take advantage of that, and integrate it into BSD's lore. Thereby creating a truly unique cross-media experience that utilizes the different mediums to create multiple timelines, that could make both the anime and manga interact with each other and become part of a bigger picture (not that you'd need to see both to get the full experience, mind you, just that it'd provide a little bonus if you did).... and would without a doubt be Asagiri's biggest surprise yet.

...I feel like at this point I'm starting to ramble, and my evidence become more and more incoherent and less substantial lmao, so I should probably end this post. 💀 Thank you if you've read this far, and hopefully it made some semblance of sense, despite not being structured very well; I know I promised at the start to try to be as objective as possible and curb my negative feelings, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded in that regard. If it weren't for the Fukuchi thing and the Fyodor hand thing, I probably wouldn't take how wrong and strange and bad the finale feels to me as serious evidence about it being an alternate timeline, especially since I seem to be one of the only people who actually hates all of it.... but combined with everything else, I am just so convinced of this theory being true. It started off as pure copium, but as more time has gone on, I fully, 100% believe in my bones (ha) that there is no way that finale is the same Bungou Stray Dogs I know and love, for so many reasons. It just isn't. It can't be. I know BSD better than this, I know Asagiri better than this, and I know that it's absolutely in the realm of possibility for him to cook up this whole scheme to completely blindside us with in the upcoming chapters, because that's exactly the kind of shit Mr. "Please Be Surprised!" himself would pull. If I end up being completely wrong, I guess I'm wrong, and you can laugh at me all you want then.... but I just know that ages ago people were teasing the idea of the anime operating on a different timeline from the manga, and I truly do think that only now are we finally seeing that idea come to fruition, as a setup for Asagiri going full-bore insanity with the Book in the upcoming arc(s). if I and the OP of that theory end up right, this will be the wildest time in the BSD fandom's history.

Like. I cannot even emphasize how hard they are trolling us at this point. Something is going on. Something is being cooked over there, the likes of which we've never seen before... and I don't think any of us are ready for it.

Oh yeah, and one last thing of note: both Fyodor and Nikolai here have their right arms hidden from view. Is that alluding to anything? I'm not sure. I also think that since chapter 110 was so short, next chapter will likely be 110.5 instead of 111, and if that's the case, this title spread could still technically be associated with the next chapter... wherein we might see this Fukuchi, who ends up wreaking havoc, right before he jumps to the timeline in the anime, as we see him at the end of the s5 finale.

I guess we'll find out on Tuesday.

[sickficideas]

nice try || SSKK sickfic

ao3! 7.1k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! sicktember 2023, day 7: "you're a jerk when you're sick"

Atsushi really doesn’t think Akutagawa should be on this mission. He's already the most difficult person in the world to work with, but he's somehow even more stubborn and rude when he's ill.

"We don't need the two of us waiting here or the informant. Go ahead and head back to your agency," Akutagawa grumbles, stepping back into the shade with his arms crossed over his chest. He coughs twice, only briefly covering his mouth, likely thinking Atsushi didn’t notice.

Atsushi huffs. He moves so he's standing in front of him and puts his hands on his hips to show he's staying where he is, but even while he's in Akutagawa's view, the latter's avert him completely.

"Dazai told us both to stay here in case they cross us," Atsushi huffs. "You want to go against his orders?"

"You're far too incompetent. Even if they were to betray us, I could easily handle a traitor on my own,” Akutagawa huffs. He’s so delusional that he thinks Dazai would praise him for something like that. Atsushi doesn’t even want to think about the scary face Dazai would make if he found out Akutagawa did something like he’s suggesting.

“Well, I’m not leaving, so suck it up,” Atsushi tells him, leaning against the wall beside him, a safe distance away in case he tries to do something.

Akutagawa looks like he wants to say something back, but instead a hand comes up to cover his mouth as he starts to cough again. Atsushi is used to that by now, but today, it sounds worse. It sounds hoarse, like it’s been happening more than usual and his throat is sore from the strain., but it sounds deeper too. Not like the usual dainty coughs he’s used to hearing from him. His shoulders are nearly hunched over as he coughs into his hand.

Atsushi has learned not to say anything. He really doesn’t have any idea why he coughs all the time. Maybe he’s a smoker, maybe he’s got a sensitive throat - it’s anyone’s guess, but he knows that if he ever bothered to ask, Akutagawa would not give him a straight answer.

Atushsi takes note of how Akutagawa checks his hand as he pulls it back from his mouth. Strange. He crosses his arms back over his chest.

“Do you want some water or something?” Atsushi asks, sounding a little more accusatory than he means to.

“No, but it’d be nice if you would let me decapitate you,” Akutagawa mumbles in a soft voice. He almost sounds out of breath.

"You're a real jerk when you're sick. You know that?" Atsushi huffs.

"I think you've said this today already," Akutagawa says, rolling his eyes. "Come up with something else."

"I take it back, you're actually a jerk all the time. You're just more of a jerk when you're sick,” Atsushi groans. He’s so over it. He wants to call Dazai and ask if he really needs to be here. He highly doubts most foes need a team as combative as the two of them. Akutagawa probably could handle it on his own, but Dazai wants the two of them to work together, for some reason.

"I'm not sick. Stop saying that,” Akutagawa murmurs. “It’s just this ocean air.”

Atsushi doesn't even feel like arguing with him anymore. Akutagawa is so frustratingly stubborn, it's unbelievable. Atsushi knows he’s sick. He can see the sweat along his hairline from here, even six feet away, but he’s shivering. There’s a bit of a breeze from the ocean on the ship, but not enough to make someone shiver, even though they’re in the middle of fall.

"When is he supposed to get here?" Atsushi huffs.

"I don't know,” Akutagawa says simply.

“Okay, then I’m gonna look around the boat. Just yell if you need something,” Atsushi mumbles.

“I will most certainly not be doing that,” Akutagawa says, rolling his eyes.

Atsushi wants to kick him in the neck.

He decides to spend some time looking around the docked boat, for no reason other than the fact that he’s bored waiting and he doesn’t want to waste more precious seconds of his life talking to Akutagawa.

It’s unremarkable. The boat is called The Hellscreen, which is a scary name for something that just sails the seas. It’s a yacht, he’s been told, or rather very rudely informed by Akutagawa. Atsushi doesn’t know the first the about boats. He just knows this one is fancy, and they’re waiting for the captain to arrive, to hand off important information relevant to both the Port Mafia boss and Fukuzawa, information Atsushi and Akutagawa aren’t allowed to know the details of.

All they were instructed to do was wait for him, take the envelope, and in case they are suspicious of the captain in any way, they were to detain him until backup arrived. Simple enough, for Atsushi, anyway.

Atsushi sort of wants to dip without saying anything, but they were ordered not to kill, and even though he’s already made a promise not to, Atsushi isn’t sure he trusts him.

A half hour or so passes, and Atushsi finds nothing of interest. He only manages to meet back with Akutagawa because he lost track over which parts of the yacht he’s already explored.

Akutagawa is leaning on the railing of the yacht when Atsushi returns, the shade having extended that far, by now. Atsushi is thrown off, seeing Akutagawa look so weirdly casual. He’s sure he hasn’t relaxed a day in his life. But then, he notices the tension in his shoulders.

Atsushi's taken note of how his breaths have become labored and forced. That's not right, he knows that for sure. He seemed a little short of breath earlier when he was talking, but Atsushi didn’t pay much mind to that until now.

He's sort of thrown for a loop when Akutagawa suddenly leans over the railing to vomit into the water. It’s followed by a series of harsh sounding coughs, ones that somehow sound worse than before. Atsushi almost say something, but the coughing turns into choking and sputtering, and he throws up again. It sounds painful. He ducks his head into his arms with a pained groan, and Atsushi can’t help but notice that breaths still don’t sound any better.

"Are you - are you okay?" Atsushi asks. He’s not sure he should be asking.

"It's motion sickness,” Akutagawa bites, not lifting his head. Atsushi watches his shoulders shake. “Stop talking to me."

"You don’t have to stay on the boat,” Atsushi murmurs. It’s not that he feels bad or anything, but it’s just inconvenient for him to be here if it’s making him sick, he thinks. That’s all. “You can wait on the dock. I’ll stay here.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Weretiger,” Akutagawa growls.

Atsushi takes a few steps close to him, thinking he might end up regretting it. Akutagawa is trembling, he realizes. He’s in pain. Something’s not right. “I’m just saying. It might be better anyway, maybe you can keep watch from the dock, or -”

“I told you,” Akutagawa starts, venom lacing his tone before he whips his head up and turns to face Atsushi a little too quickly, he’ll soon find out, “don’t -”

Atsushi could have seen it coming a mile away with how fast he moved his head, but he watches his eyes roll back and his knees bucking underneath him, and Atsushi isn’t a horrible person. Maybe Akutagawa would have let Atsushi fall on his face if their roles were reversed, but he can’t let that happen for him. He catches him, fully expecting Akutagawa to shout or attack as soon as he regains consciousness, which must be any second now.

But he’s silent, and completely still, even after the mental ten seconds Atsushi gives him to recover. Akutagawa’s labored breaths land against his chest as Atsushi lowers the both of them to the ground.

Shit. He's completely unconscious. He’s not showing any sign of waking up. Atsushi thought it was maybe just a head rush, but he really, actually passed out.

"Akutagawa?" Atsushi mumbles. It comes out like a squeak. He lays him down on the deck, sliding him down from his arms, so he's lying on his side. He's afraid to move him at all, worried Akutagawa might decapitate him without a moment's notice, but he receives no reaction, no attempt at trying to move, let alone get up and bark back at him.

Atsushi still has a hand on his shoulder, worried he might roll forward into his face, and he can feel his hot skin burning even through his coat. He’s absolutely ridiculous for wearing a coat like this when he so obviously has a fever, but his body shivers gently like he's cold. He should probably take it off of him, but he needs to reevaluate his situation.

“Please don't kill me," Atsushi groans to himself as he scoops an arm under Akutagawa's knees and the other under his neck, with little to no reaction from him other than a tiny, pathetic grunt. Atsushi is so tense that the effort hurts, but he thinks he has every reason to be. He's holding a ridiculously unpredictable mafia killing machine in his arms, after all.

He thinks for now, he'll take him inside the cockpit that they've been standing outside of, at least for some cover. Atsushi isn't sure if he really threw up because of motion sickness or something else, but either way, cover is more important when he's completely out like this. They have to keep their guard up.

He's incredibly lucky the door isn't locked, but the captain had told Dazai he left it that way in case they wanted to be inside. Akutagawa said waiting in there was too dangerous, and Atsushi has to at least agree on that. He manages to open the door with his tail and slides in, closing it behind him.

There's long, cushioned benches on either side of the cockpit, and Atsushi gently lays him down on the nearest one. Akutagawa's head lulls to the side once Atsushi steps back, and he thinks for a moment that he's awake already, but still - nothing.

His breathing really doesn't sound good. It's shallow, short, like it's painful to breathe any deeper. Atsushi thinks he probably has a serious cold, but he's not admitting it no matter the case.

He grits his teeth as he remembers he told himself he would take Akutagawa's coat off. It might be good in the end, too, if he can't use it to attack Atsushi when he wakes up, so he moves Akutagawa as gently as possible to sit up so he can undo the buttons on the coat and slide off the sleeves, one by one. He lays him back down, haphazardly folds the coat and lays it down on the other side of the bench.

Now what? Should he call Dazai? He still has the number of Akutagawa's assistant. He saved it in his phone, but he won't use it to call her. He'd need to find a pay phone. Unless, maybe he could find Akutagawa's cellphone.

He makes sure to check outside the door in case the captain has arrived, but he doesn't see any sign of him. So as he pulls the door back shut, decides he's going to look for Akutagawa's cellphone - at least, until he sees him open his eyes.

"Oh, hey," Atsushi starts nervously, not wanting to get too close to him, "you passed out on the deck, so…"

His explanation trails off as he watches Akutagawa's eyes grow wide and he scrambles to sit up. They're wider than Atsushi's has ever seen them. His hair is in disarray, sticking in all sorts of directions, some of it plastered to his forehead from the sweat his fever is causing.

Atsushi knows that look. He's felt it before. Waking up in an unfamiliar place is a horrifying feeling, he's woken up in full blown panic attacks because of that before. Even though Akutagawa was only out for a few minutes, he's scared.

Atsushi's heart feels heavy with guilt.

"We're in the cockpit on the yacht. You passed out like, five minutes ago," he stammers, but he's not sure that's enough. Akutagawa doesn't look relieved in the slightest, he looks terribly confused. He grasps at the fabric on his sleeve and almost looks like he's gotten to breathe when he realizes he's not wearing his coat.

"Where's - what did you - "

He breaks into a violent coughing fit, hunched over and coughing into his hand, somehow sounding worse than before. It's not so dry this time, either.

Atsushi catches a hint of the scent of blood, but he dismisses it. That couldn't be right, anyway.

"Where's…my coat," he somehow manages between coughs as it dies down, each one on the downtick sounding just as painful as the one before it. He looks exhausted. Atsushi can imagine that takes a lot out of him.

"You don't need that right now. You've got a fever," Atsushi murmurs.

Akutagawa sort of hangs his head as he lays a hand over his chest. He's more focused on something else right now, but Atsushi isn't sure what exactly that is. It might be his breathing. He's trying to slow it down, maybe, but his lungs don't seem to be cooperating. It almost seems like he can't really take a deep breath at all.

"Give it back," he says quietly, not lifting his head. He still sounds short of breath. He sounds defeated.

"I'll give it back, but don't put it on," Atsushi mumbles as he approaches the other end of the bench.

"Don't tell me what to do," Akutagawa huffs. A few coughs interrupt him, but thankfully, it doesn't seem to break him into a coughing fit like before.

Atsushi takes the coat from where he laid it down and hands it to him, expecting him to snatch it back, sure, but he rips it from Atsushi’s grip like he's taking something away from him that he can't live without. Atsushi steps back and gingerly shows his hands to show he doesn't mean any harm. Akutagawa brings it close to his chest like it’s a blanket he needs to fall asleep, curling his fists into it and lowering his head.

He looks miserable.

Atsushi sees the captain on the dock through the window and he squeaks, briefly telling Akutagawa to stay where he is before he disappears through the door.

“You’re with the Armed Detective Agency?” The captain asks. He’s a well dressed man in all white, carrying a black envelope. He looks a bit confused to see Atsushi exiting the cockpit, standing in front of the door. He hopes he doesn’t need to go inside.

“Yes - yes, sir. Atsushi Nakajima, nice to meet you,” Atsushi says, bowing his head politely. The captain bows back.

“There were supposed to be two of you. Can I please see your ID, detective?” The captain says. Atsushi bites his lip. Dazai did tell him to look for two people. Atsushi digs in his pockets for his wallet and finds it in the back left, scrambling to flip to the side that features his employee ID. The captain looks it over with a nod.

“I’m sorry, sir. I…my, uh…” Atsushi pauses. What does he even call Akutagawa? He’s not his friend. He’s not his co-worker. “My…my partner, he’s uh, injured. I told him he should sit down for a while. I didn’t mean to trespass or anything.”

“I see. It’s no trouble, as long as everything is left intact. Does your partner need medical attention?” The captain asks. That’s kind of him. Akutagawa definitely needs medical attention, but he has a feeling he shouldn’t get the captain involved with that.

“Oh, he’s…it’s not too serious. I’ll make sure a doctor sees him today,” Atsushi says, accidentally making a commitment. He would really just like to get this envelope and be on his way.

“If it’s not too serious, I’d like to meet your partner as well. Just to cover my bases and verify your identities,” The captain says sternly. He seems a bit suspicious.

Atsushi’s heart drops. He doesn’t want to make Akutagawa walk out here, especially to meet someone when he looks the way that he does - but if he says no, the captain may refuse to give him the envelope, and then Atsushi will have a whole new kind of problem.

“Oh…yeah, of course. I’ll, uh, be right back,” Atsushi murmurs, taking the door handle to let himself in and close it behind him without any room for the captain to follow him. It is his own boat after all, he has every right to do so.

Akutagawa is still on the bench, except he’s sitting now, the coat laying over his lap, both hands twisted in the fabric. He’s holding onto it for dear life, almost. Atsushi didn’t realize the coat was that important to him, although, if it’s his ability, it makes sense.

Akutagawa very slowly turns his head to look at Atsushi, eyes focused and pointed but heavy with exhaustion.

“The captain says he needs to meet you too. Before he gives us the envelope,” Atsushi murmurs quietly. Akutagawa is already attempting to get up. He’s rather unsteady on his feet, and had to use the bench as leverage to stand up, but Atsushi knows he’ll refuse any offers for help. He manages to slide his arms into he sleeves of the coat without much issue.

His hair still sort of looks like a mess. He approaches the door and Atsushi resists the very strong urge to at least rustle his bangs up so the sweat isn’t so obvious, but not for long. He reaches forward and does it before he can convince himself not to, and Akutagawa flinches backward, eyes wide.

“W - “

“Let’s go,” Atsushi says, opening the door and walking in front of him.

Akutagawa stands in front of the door, now, politely bowing his head, much more discreetly than Atsushi had.

“Good to meet you. And you are?” The captain asks.

“I have no reason to give you my name,” Akutagawa says coldly. Atsushi stiffens. Now is really not the time to be rude.

“I know you’re with the Port Mafia. I have no issue with that. I’m simply asking your name to verify your identity,” The captain says.

Akutagawa averts his gaze.

“Ryuunosuke Akutagawa,” he answers. Atsushi realizes he’s never heard his first name before. It’s nice.

“Alright. And I have two questions for each of you to continue my confirmation. Think of them as…security questions, when you’ve forgotten your password,” The captain says. “For you, detective. What is your mother’s first name?”

Atsushi feels sick.

What kind of question is that?

He never knew his parents. The headmaster told him thinks about what they did to Atsushi, but he doesn’t remember them. He has no idea what they look like, let alone either of their names. What is he supposed to say?

“I don’t know,” Atsushi murmurs, his eyes drifting down to the deck flooring. “I never knew her name.”

“Alright, good,” The captain says, evidently satisfied with the answer, and Atsushi realizes that was the correct one. It’s a trick question. Anyone trying to impersonate him might have known the answer, but Atsushi didn’t. “And you, Akutagawa. Where did you live when you were twelve years old?”

Akutagawa seems to have a similar reaction to his question. His eyes are wide, at least, as wide as they can be in his state. But his expression very quickly shifts into anger.

“I’m not answering that,” he snaps. He almost staggers sideways, clearly still rather unsteady on his feet.

“I need you to,” The captain says. “I already know the answer. I’m just asking you to confirm it. Only you would know the answer to this.”

Akutagawa opens his mouth to shout something obscene, he’s sure that’s his plan, but Atsushi is able to distract him by lifting his hands up and pressing them against his ears. He’s not sure why, but he thinks Akutagawa simply doesn’t want Atsushi to hear the answer. And he can respect that. They’re not friends, after all.

Akutagawa stares at him for a moment, not catching on right away to what he’s doing, but he sees the anger fade just a bit after a second, and Atsushi turns his head away to allow Akutagawa to answer, so that he won’t hear it.

But he hears it anyway.

That damn Tiger’s hearing.

Suribachi City.

Atsushi’s shoulders drop a little bit. The slums?

Akutagawa is from the slums?

Atsushi very slowly lowers his hands and just barely catches the end of the captain saying very good before thanking the two of them, He thinks this is a strange way to verify someone’s idenity, but maybe the captain has an ability and this is relevant. Maybe Dazai set this up. He’s not sure, but either way, he doesn’t like it.

The captain hands Atsushi the envelope.

“Thank you to you both. I have some business to attend to at the Marina Club. Feel free to stay here if you’d like, and please make sure your injury is tended to,” the captain says, directing that last part to Akutagawa. Akutagawa makes a very displeased, confused expression as Atsushi bows the captain away, and soon enough, he’s gone.

Akutagawa is quiet for a few moments, and Atsushi is at a loss of what to say. Normally, he thinks Akutagawa would have just been on his way without a word to Atsushi, but he doesn’t move.

At least, until he bolts toward the railing choke up a mouthful of vomit into the water again. Atsushi yelps at how quickly he managed that, and he realizes Akutagawa was likely just waiting for the captain to leave the boardwalk.

Akutagawa grips onto the railing, tight, but one hand comes up to lay against his chest as he starts to cough again. It’s only a few times, but they’re wet and deep, and they make him vomit again, nearly missing to get over the railing. His knees collapse in on themselves and he leans heavily against the railing once he’s on the ground, keeping that hand on his chest.

"You need to go to a hospital or something," Atsushi mumbles, carefully approaching him.

"Nice try," Akutagawa chokes out, not daring to lift his head. He tries to use the railing to stand himself back up, but his legs are shaking so much that they’re completely unreliable to stand on, and he comes back down to the deck. "You…really must take me for some kind of fool."

"What the hell do you mean, nice try?" Atsushi scoffs. He can’t stand this guy. What’s wrong with thinking he needs help when he looks so miserable?

"I'll get arrested if I'm admitted to a public hospital," Akutagawa growls, his faze only then turning up to glare at Atsushi, eyes like those of a hungry wolf. "You've seen my wanted posters, haven't you, Weretiger?"

Atsushi's shoulders sink. "I didn't think about that, actually."

"Just go," Akutagawa huffs, leaning his head to the side.

"What? I'm not leaving you here,” Atsushi grumbles. “You can't even stand up."

"Why does it matter to you?" Akutagawa asks quietly.

Why does it matter? He could simply head home right now, if he really wanted to. It shouldn’t make a difference to him how Akutagawa gets home, if he sees a doctor. He’s not his babysitter.

"Just cause I hate your guts doesn't mean I want you to suffer," Atsushi mumbles quietly.

"I was in a coma for a week because of you," Akutagawa huffs with a shaky breath. "Don't give me that."

"That was different, you kidnapped me and Kyoka cause you're a psychopath," Atsushi snaps before really taking in what Akutagawa said.

A coma?

"So I've been told,” Akutagawa breathes out, letting his eyes fall shut as he lets his head lull to the side just a bit. 

He's really starting to look out of it, now. He almost had Atsushi fooled for a moment in an encounter with the captain. He seemed composed and put together, but now he seems to have literally started to fall apart. He can't even stand up, at least not in this moment.

The way he's breathing is deeply concerning. It somehow sounds worse. He takes note of how he tries to take a deep breath, but all it brings him is a round of painful sounding coughs. Atsushi doesn't know what to do.

Akutagawa seems to have lost the ability to care about Atsushi being in his vicinity, he doesn't even remotely try to protest his presence.

"I'm gonna call Dazai real quick. To let him know we got the envelope," Atsushi says. Akutagawa's shoulders stiffen at the mention of Dazai, but not for long. He quickly sinks back.

Atsushi wanders to the bow of the ship before he makes the phone call, out of earshot from Akutagawa.

"Dazai," Atsushi mumbles as soon as the ringing stops.

"What's the matter? Is everything okay?" he asks. He sounds more intrigued than concerned, but he seems to recognize that something isn't right.

"Well - we…we got the envelope. Everything went well, but, Akutagawa…" Atsushi murmurs, staring at the envelope in his hands. What does he even say? What would Dazai do about Akutagawa's condition? They can't take him to a hospital. "I don't know, something's wrong. I think he's really sick, Dazai."

He hears Dazai sigh over the phone. "How sick? Is he unconscious?"

"No, he's…he passed out, but he's awake now. It just seems like…" Atsushi murmurs, and an idea comes to mind. "Do you think…could Yosano help him? I can't take him to a public hospital, he'd get arrested, so maybe -"

"Atsushi, she won't use her ability for the Port Mafia. I can tell you that now," Dazai tells him sternly. Atsushi shrinks. He can't force Yosano to help anyone, sure, but it feels wrong to just leave him here. He can't let it go, for some reason.

"But he needs help," Atsushi mumbles. "I can't just…I can't just leave him. Something's really wrong, Dazai."

"I'll let Chuuya know it's done and he will be there soon. He can take him to the extraction point," Dazai tells him. "He's not your responsibility, Atsushi."

"I'm gonna stay here until Chuuya gets here, then," Atsushi mumbles. "I wouldn't…I wouldn't want someone to leave me while I'm that sick. I can't do it."

Dazai is quiet for a moment, and if it's not already impossible to tell what he's thinking in person, it's certainly impossible right now. He can't even begin to guess.

"Alright, I'll see you when you get back, Atsushi," he says.

"Yeah, see you," Atsushi says quietly. Dazai hangs up.

Atsushi is sure he's better off waiting over here, but he feels like he needs to be closer. He's starting to get this irrational fear that Akutagawa will suddenly stop breathing.

He wanders back over towards him. Akutagawa is leaning with his back against the railing and his knees pulled into his chest, eyes looking nowhere in particular. It's obvious he doesn't feel good, but Atsushi feels like every time he turns around, Akutagawa looks about fifty percent worse than before. His eyes are unfocused and his cheeks are red to match his eyes.

"Chuuya will be here soon to meet you," Atsushi tells him. "Maybe we can wait inside, or -"

“You heard me,” Akutagawa murmurs.

Atsushi freezes for a second before he tilts his head. What is he talking about? Is it something about not telling him what to do? Atsushi didn't really order him around, so he's not sure what he means.

Maybe his fever is starting to talk.

“Heard what?” Atsushi asks. He sits down a few feet away from him, his legs crossed.

“The answer,” Akuatagwa murmurs.

Oh. His answer to the captain's question.

Atsushi isn't sure what to say, because he can't tell how Akutagawa feels about it. It seems like he's upset, at least a little bit, but he thinks he sounds more defeated than anything else, like it's a secret he never intended on sharing with anyone, let alone Atsushi. Atsushi could apologize, make it awkward, but he doesn't think Akutagawa would react well to any of that.

“I knew some kids at the orphanage from Suribachi City," Atsushi says instead, lowering his head as he starts to study the woodwork on the deck. He remembers one in particular, a girl who was practically emaciated, covered in scars and healing wounds, missing a few fingers from wild dogs. The others weren't much different from her, either. It's hard to imagine Akutagawa in that kind of state, especially at ten years old.

Akutagawa ducks his head down. He's shivering again, but Atsushi can't tell if it's chills from whatever illness is plaguing him, or he's shaking.

“I knew someone who escaped from an orphanage,” Akutagawa manages, the sound muffled. “I saw a lot of kids like that.”

Atsushi bites his lip. He’s known people to do the same. He’s wanted to try it himself, but he remembers one instance of a kid who froze to death outside trying to escape. She was used as an example. You're safest in here. He shudders at the thought.

“I was…I was the only ability user I knew,” Akutagawa says quietly, having to stop once to take some breaths. “He told me…he knew an ability user at the orphanage. Or, he thought him to be one. I always thought…he must have imagined it…"

Atsushi isn't sure where he's going with that, but he's too afraid to ask. Akutagawa lifts his head, just to cough into his hand. It's only two or three times, but they still sound so painful. Atsushi thinks he sees spots of blood in his hand, but he can't be sure from where he's sitting. He's probably just seeing things.

“You should wait inside the cockpit or something,” Atsushi murmurs nervously. “Didn’t you say the ocean air is bad for you?”

Akutagawa doesn’t say anything, he just lowers his hand and makes eye contact with Atsushi. He’s not all there. Atsushi can’t be sure, but he thinks the fever he has must be really high, that look in his eyes just isn’t right. It’s not Akutagawa.

A chill runs up Atsushi’s spine when he hears a huff come from behind him.

It's almost as if Chuuya appears on the deck instantaneously. Atsushi didn't see him coming. He heard footsteps somewhere, looking back on it, but didn’t think they were on the deck already.

"What're you still doin' here, Weretiger?" Chuuya growls. He sounds mean, but Atsushi doesn't think he means to shoo him away. He almost sounds curious, tilting his head down at Atsushi, a hand on his hip as Atsushi turns his head to face him.

“I - uh,” Atsushi mumbles, standing up and patting down his pants, for some reason feeling the need to look presentable in front of him. Chuuya is starting to look impatient, and his head starts to turn away from him. “I just - well, Dazai said…”

Chuuya suddenly rushes past him in Akutagawa’s direction, and Atsushi realizes he’s completely missed Akutagawa attempting to stand up, and now, it looks like he’s unconscious in Chuuya’s arms.

Chuuya almost effortlessly shifts Akutagawa so that he can easily carry him like Atsushi did earlier. Except, he keeps him lowered on the ground for a moment to lay the back of his hand against his cheek.

“How long’s he been breathin’ like this?” Chuuya asks, running a hand through Akutagawa’s hair. He bites his lip.

“Um…pretty much the whole time, I think,” Atsushi says. His eyes trail down to Akutagawa’s hand, the same one he coughed into earlier, and his stomach drops when he realizes those are spots of blood in his hand.

Chuuya nods and scoops Akutagawa back up into his arms, but Atsushi stays where he is, eyes wide and hoping for some sort of explanation. Chuuya looks like he’s only seconds away from leaving the deck, but Atsushi stops him.

“Wait - ”

Chuuya turns, that same scowl on his face. Atsushi’s eys drift down to Akutagawa, who’s still breathing heavy and shallow. He looks like he’s in a lot of pain, even half-conscious like this, his face all twisted up. “What?”

“What’s wrong with him?” Atsushi asks. He has a feeling Chuuya is sort of familiar with Akutagawa’s weak state right now, based on his reaction.

“It’s probably pneumonia again,” Chuuya answers quietly.

“Again?” Atsushi clarifies. His heart sinks. He’s had pneumonia once before while at the orphanage. It was so miserable that he’s forgotten much of it.

"He always gets hit real hard like this. Doesn’t take good care of his health," Chuuya mumbles, his eyes on Akutagawa’s pale face for a moment before they dart back up at Atsushi, and the scowl has melted away. "Thanks for stayin' with him."

"Yeah…yeah, no problem."

Atsushi can’t take his eyes off of Akutagawa, even as Chuuya leaves.

…

"You're very distracted today, Atsushi. I need you to focus, we have a lot of work to do."

Kunikida’s stern voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

He sounds disappointed. Atsushi doesn’t want to disappoint him. He’s tired. He didn’t sleep well last night and for some reason he’s having a lot more trouble focusing on his work than what’s normal for him. His laptop is just staring him in the face.

“Right, right. I’m sorry,” Atsushi nods, his hands moving to the keyboard, even unsure what to do then. Mabe he should go down to the cafe or something and grab a coffee, but he knows he’s not just tired. The only thing swirling around his brain today is the image of Akutagawa unconscious in Chuuya’s arms.

He opens the web browser on his computer and takes one of the reports from the center of the tables, opening it to the first page. He can feel Dazai’s eyes on him.

Dazai didn’t say anything about Akutagawa yesterday when Atsushi returned to the agency, and while he didn’t expect him to - he’s probably certain Chuuya came to get him and that he’s getting treated now - Atsushi found it strange. It feels like there’s a rock in the pit of his stomach.

Once Kunikida wanders over to Junichiro’s desk to help him with something, Dazai speaks.

"What's on your mind, hm?" Dazai asks, his elbows propped up on the table and his head in his hands. "Akutagawa?"

Atsushi's shoulders shrink. He was sort of expecting this question, but he’s not sure how to answer it. "I just…I dunno. He was really sick, Dazai. Chuuya said he might have pneumonia.”

"I know. That's not uncommon for him, Atsushi. He doesn't have a good immune system," Dazai says with a little sigh. Atsushi isn’t sure if that was supposed to make him feel better or not. He kind of figured that last part, Akutgawa doesn’t seem like a super healthy person, but even so, this weird feeling is still settled in his stomach.

"Yeah?" he says, turning his head.

"Mhm. And they have good doctors in the Port Mafia too, you know. He'll be fine," Dazai says with a little nod.

Atsushi feels a little better, knowing that.

He doesn’t need to worry. Akutagawa has plenty of people looking after him, he’s sure about that.

"If you say so."

…

Two weeks later, Atsushi sees Akutagawa again.

The sun has just set, and Atsushi is outside the nearest train station following a lead on a case on Kunikida’s behalf when he sees him leaned against the wall outside of the station on the phone. He’s not wearing his usual coat, and he thinks he looks a little suspicious wearing tinted glasses at night, but it’s definitely him.

Akutagawa’s eyes dart over, like he knows someone is watching him. A scowl appears on his face.

He really looks ghastly, a word Atsushi can only imagine Akutagawa saying. His cheeks are sunken and his eyes look dull, like the life has been sucked out of them. Exhausted doesn’t sound like it’s good enough to describe him, but he certainly looks better than he did.

Atsushi was planning on just walking off, but Akutagawa is still glaring at him.

So Atsushi walks over, just as Akutagawa hangs up the phone. He’s still holding it, looking like he’ll snap it apart at any moment.

"Akutagawa?" Atsushi starts awkwardly.

"What do you want from me," Akutagawa grumbles. "Weretiger."

“First of all, we’re in public. I’m not stalking you,” Atsushi groans, rolling his eyes. He pauses for a moment to listen to Akutagawa’s breathing, and he’s relieved that it sounds a little more normal - but there’s a faint rattle when he breathes in that concerns him. "You still don't look great.”

"I was released from our hospital two days ago," he mumbles, turning his head to the side.

Two days ago?

Does that mean he was in the hospital all this time? Two weeks? He already figured he had pneumonia because of what Chuuya said, but being hospitalized for two weeks is such a long time.

Atsushi doesn't know what to say. He just stares, his brow furrowed.

"I don't heal as well as normal people. And certainly not as well as you," he grumbles, his eyes briefly turning back to Atsushi. "I'll be fine. Wipe that pathetic look off of your face, it's unbecoming."

"Oh - sorry," he says with a nod of his head. "I…"

"Don't say anything else," Akutagawa huffs.

Atsushi pouts. “Can I at least ask what it was?”

“Pneumonia,” Akutagawa says simply, like it was an obvious answer.

“Have you had it before?”

“Yes,” Akutagawa nods with a small sigh. He’s surprised he’s being so cooperative with his answers. Maybe he really is just more of a jerk when he’s not feeling well.

“I had it once too. It was miserable,” Atsushi murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. An apology won’t change anything,” Akutagawa says with a slightly more annoyed sigh this time, stepping forward so he’s no longer leaning on the wall. 

“I guess not, but…” Atsushi says. He shrugs his shoulders, expecting Akutagawa to just walk off and leave, but he doesn’t. It almost seems like he wants to say something, but he’s not sure if he should.

“I’m…I’m sorry that you felt obligated to look after me,” Akutagawa mumbles.

Now that is definitely the last thing he expected Akutagawa to say. He doesn’t like his head or even attempt to make eye contact, but it sounds sincere, he thinks. It sounds like they’re his own words, not fed to him by someone else.

“Oh,” Atsushi blinks. “Um…well, I didn’t…I dunno. It wasn’t a big deal.”

His cheeks feel warm, for some reason. He’s embarrassed. He doesn’t really know what to say or think, he’s just really surprised to hear Akutagawa say anything about it at all. He wonders if he feels guilty.

“If you insist,” Akutagawa answers simply. Now it seems like he’s ready to walk off. “Well, Weretiger, I would really prefer if you would get out of my sight before my company arrives, I -”

“Wait,” Atsushi says, finally having managed to gather his scrambled thoughts together. Akutagawa glares at him again. “I just…I don’t mind helping you if you need it. I’m not a heartless monster.”

“No, you’re not,” Akutagawa agrees, as if it’s the most obvious thing he’s ever heard.

Atsushi’s a bit taken aback by that, too.

“You think?” he says, feeling his ears start to heat up, too. Why, even?

“Weretiger,” Akutagawa sighs. Atsushi has lost track over how many time he’s heard that sound, “on with it. Or leave.”

“I just - I’ve got your back, I guess. Maybe you don’t have mine, but…I won’t leave you stranded if you need help,” Atsushi says. He realizes how corny that sounds, he can hear Dazai’s hysterical laughter echoing in the back of his brain, but Akutagawa doesn’t seem to think so, at least not in the moment. He blinks at him.

His cheeks sort of look pink. Atsushi hopes he doesn’t still have a fever.

“I didn’t realize you were so cheesy, Weretiger,” Akutagawa says as he drops his gaze before he huffs out a breath. Atsushi really thought he was going to say something nice back, but he really is a jerk. Bastard.

Atsushi groans. “Well, too bad, cause I am! And you’re gonna have to deal with it!”

Akutagawa opens his mouth to respond, but his hand covers his mouth to cough a few times, and Atsushi is relieved they don’t sound as bad as they did - they’re certainly hoarse, though.

“Are you -”

Akutagawa nods. “I’m okay.”

“Akutagawa…?”

They both turn their heads at the same time to find a pair has approached them, seemingly without any warning. It’s Akutagawa’s assistant - Atsushi thinks her name is Higuchi, or something like that - and a girl with long, dark hair that he doesn’t recognize at first, but quickly remembers is Akutagawa’s sister. Gin. Akutagawa having a sister is still an incredibly foreign concept to him. They’re both wearing casual clothing, evidently not working.

They both look very confused to see Akutagawa talking to him. Atsushi sees them both reach for something, and realizes almost too late that they’re reaching for weapons.

“Wait, I -”

“He was told to meet me here. Miscommunication,” Akutagawa says simply. Interesting tactic, he makes it sounds like it’s something the two of them already know about. Higuchi nods, accepting the answer, but Gin only looks suspicious. “Finish your business elsewhere, Weretiger.”

“Right, uh…yep, I’ll do that,” Atsushi says. Does he say goodbye? See ya? No, that’s weird, especially in front of his coworker and his sister. They both view him as the enemy.

What is he talking about? He is the enemy. They are enemies. He shakes his head as he walks off, even more confused than he was before this interaction began.

“Is your fever back? Your face looks red,” his sister says, and Atsushi briefly turns his head to see her laying a hand against his cheek, to which he quickly turns away. “You don’t feel warm.”

“Maybe we should take you back to the clinic, just to be safe,” Higuchi starts.

“I’m fine. Let’s go,” Akutagawa says with a heavy sigh, and the three of them walk in the opposite direction, eventually, out of his sight.

Atsushi shakes his head. Why is he still standing there?

And why are his ears still hot?

[mikayuumouse]

IMAGINING AKUTAGAWA WITH ATTACHMENT ISSUES AFTER ATSUSHI DIED IN FRONT OF HIM (or vice versa)

God I know they suck at actually communicating their feelings with words and instead die for each other, but I can't get the possibility of Akutagawa being majorly effected by Atsushi's death enough to where he can't bear to leave Atsushi alone, out of my head

(side note: I think Akutagawa should join the Agency. We already know from beast he'd make a pretty decent detective)

I know Akutagawa's terrified of losing Atsushi. And Atsushi had to die to save him for him to even realize that 🙏 Asagiri you wizard I love how you write Sskk's relationship

But like, just imagine an Akutagawa trailing Atsushi around like a lost dog (one could almost say...a stray dog) on his days off or Akutagawa constantly checks up on him and calls him or just like small little, caring things like that. Akutagawa with the realization of how much Atsushi means to him

Also, speaking of sskk clinginess; sskk reunion

Asagiri is most likely going to do what none of us expects with however he approaches the sskk reunion, but oh my goodness every new chapter that drops changes my ideas for how it'll unfold

I wonder if they'll talk. If they'll hug. They should probably hug. And talk. They really need to talk atp

And you know they're going to argue. But not a real argument, the kind of sskk argument that they only do to talk about their actual problems

Ohhhh there's just so many layers to sskk and I don't know if I can pluck them all apart. And right now I'm really just wondering about the what ifs of their changed relationship

(I'm absolutely PINING for a chance of Atsushi asking "do you hate me?" which makes Akutagawa have to answer with his current/future character growth)

[hannigramislife]

I am not a dazai hater by any means, but you talk so respectfully (and make a lot of sense) about your opinions on him I can't help but really enjoy your blog! I particularly loved your ship opinions posts. Any other characters you want to share ship opinions on?

Hi friend!!

I'm glad I came off as respectful and left a positive impression on you! I do a lot of shit-posting about Dazai, but I do feel like I am at least fair to him when I am analyzing his actions? Other times, yeah, I'm just indulging in my desire to beat him bloody. Just, like, once. To get it out of my system XD. For science.

And the ship posts! Those were soooo fun to make. And oh, let me think about any other ships and my thoughts on them...

Fyolai (Fyodor / Nikolai) – Remember how I was like "there's just some things you don't write if you don't want people to ship two characters?" This is another case. This is the reason I disagree with people that go like "bsd is the only manga where no ships are necessary," like bro, there's so many things wrong with that sentence. It is absolutely necessary to make a bond such as these two's feel almost tangible to the viewers. It is essential to understand Nikolai's emotional dependance on Fyodor as a driving factor to his actions. Nikolai is orbiting around him, and you can see Fyodor having a genuine interest in this man, who doesn't play a big role in his grand plans. To me, these two feel kinda like Soukoku? Something something "the stars aligned so we could meet." 10/10 ship.

Ranpoe (Ranpo / Poe) – What God do I need to pray to in oder to get about 50 OVAs with these two?? Season 4 Ranpoe was the biggest treat and gift to me, personally. I love love love their dynamic so much. Like, yeah, Poe idolizes Ranpo, but he is now just as much in Ranpo's radar as well! Ranpo imprinted on him, he is Ranpo's emotional support rich boyfriend for fuck's sake. The way Ranpo uses his ability seamlessly?? Like it belongs to him?? Like he's so goddamn comfortable with it?? And what about the, "What would I do with myself if Ranpo-kun were to die..?” They're literally soulmates. They met and clicked so hard, they found each other, they suit each other, they complete each other. 10 million/10.

AtsuLucy (Atsushi / Lucy) – Firstly, I love Lucy, I think she's a great character, I love her design and personality and ability and everything. My baby. However, I have no particular attachment to this ship. It's not bad, and it's perfectly valid, but I don't see like- a need for it, you know? They understand each other, have stuff in common, and impacted each other's lives; I do love when two characters save each other left and right, so kudos for that. Honestly, they seem like they'd be absolutely amazing friends, really close, and honestly, I would love to see Atsushi have such a friendship, I think it would be good for him, but personally I don't see them in a romantic light. 9/10 ship due to the lack of feels I got from their interactions.

HiguGin (Higuchi / Gin) – I think that they're amazing and I would die for them. I need a spin-off of them. I need at least a whole WAN episode of them going on a date and shopping and eating ice cream and training and going to the beach– basically everything because they'd have the best relationship ever. I can just see them cuddling on a couch and watching TV as sskk fight over the last dumping in the kitchen. I need more about them like I need air. Also, petition for Beast Higuchi and Beast Gin to take over the Mafia. For reasons. 10/10 ship.

FukuMori (Fukuzawa / Mori) – Yeah, yeah, they're divorced Double Black and whatever, but let's be real for a second; no one can convince me that when Fukuchi first showed up, y'all's reaction was not, "Hold on a second Fukuzawa, what about your husband?!" The way Fukuchi behaved with Ranpo screamed new boyfriend trying to gain the son's approval, I was dying XD. "But Fukuchi knew Fukuzawa first!!" Yeah, yeah, I don't care– I'm not a zskk shipper until Fukuchi enters the screen. Let Fukuzawa and Mori be the yin and yang pillars of Yokohama. 9/10 ship because Mori is *sigh* a bad guy. Sad.

Odango (Oda / Ango) – They are married. No, I will not accept criticism. This is canon to me.

KuniBram (Kunikida / Bram) – My sister has decided they're also married and coparenting, so the conclusion is that they're married and coparenting.

I can't think of any ships right now, but do mention if there's one you like that I have missed!

(Honorary Mention: Dead Apple Trio) – So, we agree they fucked, right?? That wasn't subtext in the slightest, that was the greatest amount of subtle and yet ostentatious display of repressed homosexuality I've seen since SuperWhoLock hit this website. Dazai did not look that good to simply not be pushed against a table/wall. That's a disservice to him.

[bish-plz-haha]

Bungo Stray Dogs: my thoughts

So I'm not caught up on the manga (I'm trying). But I caught up on the anime and

HOLY

SHIT

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually screamed at the second to last ep.

*Spoilers ahead*

I COULDNT HANDLE CHUUYA - AS A "VAMPIRE" - SHOOTING DAZAI. OH MY GOD.

But everything is okay because that's not the case. But I also watched it in Dub (bc I was trying to cruise through it because its been a hot minute since I've caught up on anime) and DAZAI SAID FUCK AND IM LIVING FOR IT! Chuuya too. I was giggling like a maniac when I heard Chuuya say "You fucked up, detective agency!" Then continue to fuck up the Hunting Dogs.

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME IS TACHIHARA OKAY?!?!? (I swear I'm reading the manga. This weekend I'm planning on reading it all the way.)

Also, I absolutely loved seeing how the agency was formed. What got me was Yosuno and her ties to the mafia. I literally doubletake-d and screamed "WhaT??" and my family thought I was nuts. Maybe I am. Its fine.

But s5 broke my heart and I'm like, over it. I need some Shin Soukoku fighting together again.

Also, can we talk about Ranpoe??? I absolutely love them, and I think they're now my third favourite ship in the series. Behind SSK and SSKK, of course. I dunno if I could see most of the ships. But, no hate to it if you do ship it because I believe we should ship what we want without judgement (FICTIONAL CHARACTERS MEN! FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!), I absolutely despise Fyozai. I just... no.

Though I do think Fyodor was a very cool character—a little boring—but interesting. Especially with his understanding of Dazai's intellect. Now I think the character with the most depth is Ranpo. Like, man's backstory - the little we know, is quite interesting. It makes me think about a lot.

Also, why is the story character based, not world based, when we know so much more about the world than we do the characters?? Like we know a little about a lot of the characters but know a lot about the world. It's insane. I love character based stories because I feel knowing the characters builds the world.

But the most we know is: Atsushi is an abused orphan; Dazai is an ex mafia member; Kenji is scary; Ranpo is an orphan too who is actually gifted with intellect instead of an ability - though it kind of is an ability; Fukuzawa is an ex assassin; Yosuno hates her ability because she was forced by Mori to keep soldiers alive during the gifted war when they just wanted to die; Kunikida is an ex maths teacher; Chuuya is a human that was experimented on so he's basically part yōkai/ayakashi (Thank you Noragami for introducing me to that delightful word—it's basically a word to describe supernatural beings/creatures and lord knows what Chuuya actually is); Tanizaki is... I don't remember anything specific about him and Naomi...; Tachihara is not a mafia member but rather a military officer sworn to get revenge on Yosuno (she didn't do anything except keep his brother alive - poor babies. She was forced to as well, which, in my opinion, makes it worse); Akutagawa is sick (I swear to god if the series ends without him...); Gin is Akutagawa's sister (HC Gin is enby); Mori was an underground doctor before he slit the previous bosses throat.

Like barely anything about a single character. Just bits and pieces for each. Those are just the main ones I remember.

Anyway~

Goodbye!

OH btdubs! I'm writing a skk au fic/one-shot based off s5 ending but also dead apple. Might post the link here. Idk yet. 🤷‍♂️

[doctorweebmd]

It’s meeeee I just spent so long on the last chapterrrr I’m so excited I was. So obnoxious in your comments. I’m not sorry about it. So. Kicking my feet twirling my hair etc etc do you maaaaaybe want to tell meeee about this chapter too. What’s been caught in your brain, what’s your favorite, what decided to Just Happen? I’m nosy, director’s commentary please I live for your thoughts darling 👀

aslfjakdfjasfdj can i be honest. after i saw your comment my soul was at rest. i thought 'ah. i can stop refreshing my phone now. if sol and lumi read it i dont give a shit about anything else' and went to sleep. saving my sanity AND sleep schedule so i cannot THANK YOU ENOUGH.

and also. also. how dare you indulge me. i can talk about this chapter forever. AND WILL.

So. Reflecting on chapter 5 of everything in halves -

The baryon asymmetry thing was NOT in my initial plans and that ended up being a happy and extremely well-fitting accident.

from the beginning this fic was all about using the 'equal and opposite' aspect of sskk. all newton's third law of motion - for every action, there must be an equal and opposite reaction. i also wanted to include something regarding wave-functions, because i liked the idea of them being 'stronger' when they 'resonate' or whatever. in my hubris i'm like 'well. i'm pretty sure those are both known physics theorems. surely there's a quantum explanation for them. i'll find a way to make it work.'

what happened next is i descended into what some might call 'theoretical physics hell.' at a certain point, when your open tabs look like the one just below, you may wonder - 'hm. have i lost the plot? am i putting in way too much effort into an anime boy fanfiction?' (i just still had this tab open but this isn't even the worst. god. at least there's pretty little waves and shit) i mean you know EXACTLY what i'm talking about lmao. 99.999% of people reading are NOT going to give a shit and/or understand. why are we working so hard to make it scientifically sound. anyway.

eventually, while reading about symmetry in quantum mechanics, this concept of matter-antimatter asymmetry came up. and hoo-boy. the skies opened up. angels started singing. because it was PERFECT. one of the things i was reading about it said something about 'Singularity' and i KNEW this was the one. it, ironically, tied up the loose ends i still had for the plot. so this one i'm REALLY happy with.

okay. on to actual plot.

my favorite -> atsushi apology scene. the purpose is, of course, to show that atsushi cares about original akutagawa AND demonstrate that there is a relationship forming between him and beast!akutagawa while also keeping their antagonistic dynamic that makes them them.

what i wanted MOST of all is to avoid that god-awful trap of 'atsushi would fall in love with beast!aku instantly because he's nicer and they're on the same side uwu' BUT also ensuring that the original relationships aren't ruined by the emerging dynamics between the other-world versions of themselves. does that make sense?

like, YES, atsushi might fall in love with beast!aku (eventually), but he's also in love with og!aku and doing the former makes him realize the latter. its more of a 'i will love you in any lifetime' vs 'i would love you if you were different in the following ways: '

this is such a tough tightrope to walk and this scene ended up being a very good balance, so i'm very happy with it!

my least favorite -> 'dream' sequences. i have a vendetta against using 'dreams' in fics or writing (unless thats like, the plot.) i feel they're often intentionally misleading and, honestly, lazy. maybe its my inherent rage at some media using dreams as an incredibly gross way to tie up plot holes and actual consequences and emotional GROWTH by saying 'what if it was all a dream? hehe. none of that ACTUALLY happened. none of that actually MEANS anything.' NO. NOOOO. I HATE ITTTTT. WHAT IS THE POINT!?

i pretty much never use dream sequences in my writing.

BUT. they are very very useful tools when what you're trying to show is a breakdown of reality, merging of time and space, mindfuckery without just giving the character full on awake hallucinations. i'm trying to embrace them without making them too on-the-nose and cheesy. but GOD.

gone but not forgotten -> the scene with akutagawa and kenji walking past a wanted poster was going to be more fleshed out. kenji was going to mention something about it 'no longer being true' and saying 'akutagawa no longer kills' with an expanding discussion of what it means for a mafioso to not kill, why he would do such a thing, and whether the White Reaper could, also. i took most of it out in the edits, though. just didn't feel right. but its chilling at the end of the document, waiting to be revisited when the time is right.

anyway THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU your comment is perfect this question is perfect who is paying you to indulge me in such ways i'm going to CRYYYy

[spliqi]

fanfic writer interview!

forgot to do this whoops. thank you for the tag @aurorahrt <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

19! all bsd because i'm ill about this series

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

the cat isn't byakko (and other lies akutagawa can tell himself) - sskk, teen and up, 23.6k words the first fic i ever wrote!!! which took off way more than i expected lol. animal transformation trope crackfic shenanigans. silly and funny and i still like it very much

wishful thinking - sskk, teen and up, 6.7k words love to see this up here i adore soulmate aus. the concept of sharing thoughts with a guy who can't stand you... yeah. also atsushi is delightfully dense here. misunderstandings <3

hidden in plain sight - sskk, teen and up, 4.0k words what if we kissed but we were dumb stupid rivals on an undercover mission. and also we can't dance for shit (aka my patient zero of mission fics. now i can't stop making them)

i hate you in charcoal (but love you in watercolor) - sskk, teen and up, 4.8k words artist akutagawa!!! yeah!!! not really an au? more of a headcanon-centric fic that spiralled. i just think he deserves to make art and be weird about it

reading between the lines - sskk, teen and up, 12.1k words fic embodiment of "put those guys in a situation" hahahaha. poe's ability shenanigans. 80% of this is them bickering but hey that's what i love

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try my best to! i'm very busy and can't always find the time but i read every single one and they mean the world to me!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

gallantry ougfghh. chapter 119 hurt my feelings

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

the vast majority of them are super sappy endings i'm not strong enough for anything else i fear

Do you write crossovers?

i haven't so far! but if the brainrot hits me then who knows

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really??? let's hope it stays that way

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i haven't. but again, if the brainrot hits me--

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. maybe ignorance is bliss

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no (<- guy who's scared of everyone)

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i don't think it's hard to guess LMAOOO. sskk my beloved

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

to be honest if i really want to finish something i always do. but i have ditched a 30k wip before after getting bored of the story 💀

What are your writing strengths?

i've been told i'm good at humor, which is nice to know because i just keep in the final draft whatever makes me laugh while writing 😭 also i believe i have a pretty good grasp of my favs at this point so i don't stress too much about characterization anymore

What are your writing weaknesses?

overediting oh my GOD. free me. i edit like someone will kill me if i make a mistake and it drags my overall productivity down so much

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think it's hard to pull off well. i wouldn't try it myself unless it's a language i'm fairly confident in

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

not ship per se but there's a lot of gen fics that i really really want to write. atsushi & dazai, atsushi & kyouka, higuchi & aku, there's also a gin & verlaine idea in my head that i've been hung up on for soooo long. hopefully 2025 will be my year

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

this is definitely recency bias talking but i really liked the montcott fic i wrote for rarepair week. it's short but it came to me so easily and i just love them sm

tagging: most of my writer mutuals have done this already but if you haven't consider this a tag from me <3