cocktailjjrs

[cocktailjjrs]

So, i go off for a few days and return to..

A new chapter... where everythings fucked again...

Like, Fyodor being the best narrator... explaining the situation in detail...being a diva...

Akutagawa, as expected, didn't defeat the crazy powerful one by himself...

Fukuzawa eager to actually die (i really hope not)

AND

Apparently Asagiri gave an interview that basically said he wished there were more Dazai Kunikida moments...

Like, aren't you the writer 🤔 🙄 give us more Kunikida (and not as some sacrifice please).... i miss him in action...

So, now everyone is making a big deal out of it and saying Soukoku isnt supposed to be.... Have we watched the same show???

Plus it wasn't even about skk, it was about Kunikida...

I say forget about Dazai, give us more Kunikida and Chuuya.....

[cocktailjjrs]

The way he is following her, intentionally or not, since the first episode...

At this rate, he is going to follow her right back to hell... literally...

[cocktailjjrs]

you have noo idea how much i relate to this!!!

Okay, i'm guilty of shipping a lot... i have been in too many fandoms and have watched too many animes, shows, series, read too many books; even if there is no romance in genre i still look for ships... but again, Soukoku hit different! I agree!

Magnets is the perfect example!

And i'm glad someone else likes to ramble about them...

Soukoku has ruined it for me...

Any other pairing for Chuuya and Dazai in whatever context you wanna take it - platonic, romantic, found family, soulmates, enemies, frenemies etc etc - one can't be without the other or in the same capacity what they have with each other...

Like, I can never imagine Dazai getting frustrated with anyone and downright saying to their face - 'You're no ray of sunshine either' - other than Chuuya

or Chuuya ever saying - 'I used corruption because i trusted you' to anyone other than Dazai (tbf, he literally can't say even if he wants to, unless it's another nullifier)

or Dazai spending day and night, thinking up ways to annoy anyone but Chuuya

or Chuuya doing a rich girl impression or equivalent just because someone said he will do so

or Dazai talking about how anyone's ability is too overpowered and its final form, sound equal parts smug, fond and worried

or Chuuya looking at any agency fight and thinking, if it was Dazai there won't have been a fight to begin with

or Dazai planting a bomb under any of his friends/colleague's car, fully certain it won't harm them

or Chuuya shooting his subordinates out of their discussed plan, just to shut them up because they were getting cringe

Or you know - the in general - devising a whole plan, heading into enemy's side, getting stabbed with poison and trusting the other will save you, without any sort of communication what so ever.

And the said other person, doing exactly as was expected of them and activating the uncontrollable part of their ability, without any confirmation of the only person known to deactivate is even alive.

One shotting the other in head, the other letting it happen.

One trusting the other with their humanity, and other making sure to keep it intact.

One getting kidnapped and leaving a clue that only the other could connect.

.

.

.

I mean, you could argue one or two of these things can happen with either half of Soukoku and someone else, but all of these?

They may have n number of different kinds of relations with all the other's from bsd verse, but what they have with each other is unique and it's only them who will have that kind of thing...

I'm not saying they are a ideal - friends, enemies, couple.... Partners

What I'm saying is, what ever they are to each other - is the best they will get... it's one of a kind - only piece available in the whole world

[cocktailjjrs]

I'm scared for Chuuya...

Here's my morbid thought of the day....

I'm scared Chuuya isn't going to make it till the end of the series.

Before you jump at me, hear me out

He's the strongest Ability user in Yokohama, right?

But till now we've only seen him actually fight a few unnatural guys

Rimbaud - a French spy

Verlaine & Guivre - Artificial human and his singularity

His own clone (made of bones)

Shibusawa (during Dragon head)

Dazai

Lovecraft - someone who could turn into a monster without it being an ability

A freaking Ability Dragon (dead apple)

Like, do you see... All these people, none of them being something a normal ability user could win with...

Logically speaking, if there was ever a threat to Yokohama, he is supposed to be at the forefront of all the fights that come and deal with them without any problem.

But the problem arises with a small fact, he is not the MC!

He's been kept out of all the major fights without reason, we all make fun of it too.

But here on, things are going to get messy. Since the last couple of chapter we saw we need all hands on deck, every single one... So, he is going to be involved in fights... But if he will survive them or not is a complete different question...

Narrative wise, once Shin soukoku get's established, we won't exactly be needing Soukoku... even for biggest of threats

Dazai is instrumental to the plot too, we need someone to pull the strings... even if Dazai want's to die, death doesn't seem interested in him

Everyone ADA also has unique abilities, they will be fine.... (finger-crossed to bring back kunikida, kenji, tanizaki...)

Other's might just survive for the virtue of not being a prominent figure...

But out everyone, Chuuya is in the perfect spot -

A Strong ability user leads an attack in the final battle Bringing down enemy forces either by facing them head on or destroying them from inside out Get killed in process Let other's do the rest of the job

Plus put in the angle of succeeders stepping up to surpass their predecessors... put in revenge in mix too...

Because let's face it, even if Asagiri doesn't kill unless it's kids, he can make exception in the final battle where once dead you stay dead!

And with the current trend...

Yeah, I'm actually scared...

[cocktailjjrs]

i loveee that AMV... god knows how many times i've watched it!

Also. I'm convinced the whole point of Dead Apple was to be Soukoku rubbing their relation in everyone face... that's it, that's the whole plot....

Honestly, it's one of my few homo ships. I've always shipped characters with the best chemistry and Soukoku just click. they give off those soulmates vibes, ya'know... Its the first time I've shipped the characters soo much its almost an obsession...

Soukoku has ruined it for me...

Any other pairing for Chuuya and Dazai in whatever context you wanna take it - platonic, romantic, found family, soulmates, enemies, frenemies etc etc - one can't be without the other or in the same capacity what they have with each other...

Like, I can never imagine Dazai getting frustrated with anyone and downright saying to their face - 'You're no ray of sunshine either' - other than Chuuya

or Chuuya ever saying - 'I used corruption because i trusted you' to anyone other than Dazai (tbf, he literally can't say even if he wants to, unless it's another nullifier)

or Dazai spending day and night, thinking up ways to annoy anyone but Chuuya

or Chuuya doing a rich girl impression or equivalent just because someone said he will do so

or Dazai talking about how anyone's ability is too overpowered and its final form, sound equal parts smug, fond and worried

or Chuuya looking at any agency fight and thinking, if it was Dazai there won't have been a fight to begin with

or Dazai planting a bomb under any of his friends/colleague's car, fully certain it won't harm them

or Chuuya shooting his subordinates out of their discussed plan, just to shut them up because they were getting cringe

Or you know - the in general - devising a whole plan, heading into enemy's side, getting stabbed with poison and trusting the other will save you, without any sort of communication what so ever.

And the said other person, doing exactly as was expected of them and activating the uncontrollable part of their ability, without any confirmation of the only person known to deactivate is even alive.

One shotting the other in head, the other letting it happen.

One trusting the other with their humanity, and other making sure to keep it intact.

One getting kidnapped and leaving a clue that only the other could connect.

.

.

.

I mean, you could argue one or two of these things can happen with either half of Soukoku and someone else, but all of these?

They may have n number of different kinds of relations with all the other's from bsd verse, but what they have with each other is unique and it's only them who will have that kind of thing...

I'm not saying they are a ideal - friends, enemies, couple.... Partners

What I'm saying is, what ever they are to each other - is the best they will get... it's one of a kind - only piece available in the whole world

[cocktailjjrs]

Bsd 119

With this chapter, can i saw a few things?

Spoiler's!

Fyodor is a bitch with God complex

It's even funny when you see this image with the context of his dialogue. he is standing in the shadow of the Shadow of the divine one... HE IS THAT DRAMATIC!

Fyodor first tried stealing Dazai, then Dazai's man and now he is trying to steal Atsushi - he needs to decide on one, this is getting ridiculous

Poor Atsushi - now he is a bookmark

Honestly, i never imagined a bookmark reference can be used like this... It's unusual...

Yup - classic villain move and then he goes and offers the other side of the page.

I always thought only dumb people fell for such obvious tricks - mostly not the MCs, but here we are...

Okay, i didn't like how this order turned out to be...

But to some extent i can't believe Fukuzawa even gave that order... the man's known to fight till the end...

These panels look majestic!

Oh, to be able to surprise Fyodor!

You can't tell me the whole Vampirism twist introduced to the story was not for Aku to level up... That was always supposed to be the end game!

From cosplaying a Lost Victorian Child to actually turning into a Lost Victorian Child (even speaking as such) - A journey by Akutagawa Ryunosuke

Like hell, now he is speaking like Bram? is it going to stick? Will it wear off?

and most importantly -

Will he treat Aya like a princess henceforth? Is Aya getting a third (or fourth?) dad????

This better be Sarcastic!

In the manner of -'"who the hell are you, crying like a child" or "You are not the jinko who did not give up".

Even if it isn't, well it'll be another journey...

But thinking back to the airport scene, he either will remember or he is just being petty...

And we know Aku isn't actually winning this fight...

At least not alone...

Honestly, this Chapter was a banger!

From Fyodor's explanation of how Atsushi could have actually fought against the divine one

To Atsushi just being lost and giving up all the hope, even giving up himself to just get ADA back to normal

To the Vampire in Shining Armor coming in to save the day.....

I'm so glad they now look like the MCs, Atsushi and Akutagawa...

[cocktailjjrs]

i love it when characters defy gender roles....

In this house, we love and support strong women!!!!

Also, someone please get Becky a new girly friend... she's suffering 🤣🤣

[cocktailjjrs]

Omw home, just randomly remembering if the war didn't happen when it did, we could've had a complete different story for Martha and Henry...

If the war hadn't happened at all, Westalis won't have found its best spy...

If the war hadn't ended on such uncertain note, Anya, Bond and many other kids and animals (like belle, the seal) might not have been experimented on...

.

.

.

If there wasn't a looming threat of war breaking out, our beloved sxf family won't have been formed...

I love the story we've got, but its just sad...and its even more terrifying knowing that story is not too far off from our own world...

[cocktailjjrs]

I thank God for Baeli's existence tbh.

[cocktailjjrs]

Soukoku has ruined it for me...

Any other pairing for Chuuya and Dazai in whatever context you wanna take it - platonic, romantic, found family, soulmates, enemies, frenemies etc etc - one can't be without the other or in the same capacity what they have with each other...

Like, I can never imagine Dazai getting frustrated with anyone and downright saying to their face - 'You're no ray of sunshine either' - other than Chuuya

or Chuuya ever saying - 'I used corruption because i trusted you' to anyone other than Dazai (tbf, he literally can't say even if he wants to, unless it's another nullifier)

or Dazai spending day and night, thinking up ways to annoy anyone but Chuuya

or Chuuya doing a rich girl impression or equivalent just because someone said he will do so

or Dazai talking about how anyone's ability is too overpowered and its final form, sound equal parts smug, fond and worried

or Chuuya looking at any agency fight and thinking, if it was Dazai there won't have been a fight to begin with

or Dazai planting a bomb under any of his friends/colleague's car, fully certain it won't harm them

or Chuuya shooting his subordinates out of their discussed plan, just to shut them up because they were getting cringe

Or you know - the in general - devising a whole plan, heading into enemy's side, getting stabbed with poison and trusting the other will save you, without any sort of communication what so ever.

And the said other person, doing exactly as was expected of them and activating the uncontrollable part of their ability, without any confirmation of the only person known to deactivate is even alive.

One shotting the other in head, the other letting it happen.

One trusting the other with their humanity, and other making sure to keep it intact.

One getting kidnapped and leaving a clue that only the other could connect.

.

.

.

I mean, you could argue one or two of these things can happen with either half of Soukoku and someone else, but all of these?

They may have n number of different kinds of relations with all the other's from bsd verse, but what they have with each other is unique and it's only them who will have that kind of thing...

I'm not saying they are a ideal - friends, enemies, couple.... Partners

What I'm saying is, what ever they are to each other - is the best they will get... it's one of a kind - only piece available in the whole world

[cocktailjjrs]

So......

Since I've been suffering with these angsty thoughts... i though i would invite you all suffer with me...

It's about Chuuya...

I was doing some research for my fic (mainly going through bsd novels, blogs, tags and all) and came across this one Insta post in passing (sorry, i don't remember the name).

It was about BSD's cycles.

First, cycle of abuse, going from Mori-Dazai-Aku-Kyouka

and Second of rescue, going from Natsume-Oda-Dazai-Atsushi-Kyouka.

And then they highlighted a third category, the one's who are not saved - including Chuuya, Aku and Q.

At that point i didn't think much about it, just another post while scrolling Insta.

But now it's keeps bothering me, a constant reminder, whenever i read something BSD.

And It's so heart wrenching.

It also hit me, Q and Aku can still be saved.

Q, while we don't exactly know where they are right now, there is a chance of them getting their own arc, backstory and then being saved.

Aku, while still in Mafia, his partnership with Atsushi is his saving grace already. He is making an effort to not kill, just for their deal/bet. By the end of it all, he will be in a better place than he is now.

But Chuuya. (Spoiler's for light novel's if you haven't read them)

I remember very clearly, when in Stormbringer (don't ask me why i remember this byheart), when Murase dies Chuuya says, "Hey Detective, Weren’t you gonna arrest me?! Weren’t you gonna bring me into the world of light"

Don't get me wrong, I still believe Chuuya belongs to Port Mafia, the darkness suits him better than light.

But that does not mean he never wanted to get out of that darkness. This one instance in SB was proof enough. Makes me wonder, if things had gone even slightly differently, would he be in a better place than he is now? Is there still a chance?

What's even more tragic is that after the whole SB thing, no one seemed stick around enough to help him fight his own demons.

And he definitely has MASSIVE DEMONS.

His whole life seems to be one catastrophe after another! Don't believe me?

His first group, whom he called friends, betrayed him. Classic stabbed by poisonous knife in the back.

Hardly a year later, his second friends group, Flags, was killed by an emotionally unstable man-child seeking validation, insisting on calling him brother.

He went through a horrid ordeal, having to learn he was a lab experiment, seeing your clone vaporise to nothing but bones in your own arms, having to fight those same bones. And as if this was not enough, then fighting the monstrosity of a singularity and in process loosing the only chance to determine your humanity. (Actually whole of SB is dreadful, i don't think it'll ever get worse than that - i really hope it doesn't)

Then, given by the timeline, another year later, his third group of friends was killed by Shibusawa.

And again a year later - his partner, who brought him in all this madness, just fucking leaves without a word. This is the least tragic thing that has happened to the boy, i swear.

And I'm sure it didn't end there.

There must have been so many things going on behind the scenes in those missing years, hell even after the series began, Chuuya has been out of scene because something or the other was going on.

Now you have Fyodor fucking shit up for no apparent reason. With this shitshow, many mafia men, some of whom Chuuya might have developed a relation, are definitely dead. Not to mention the mental gymnastics going to trying to at least be on the same fucking chapter as the two geniuses.

AND ALL OF THIS IS JUST IN THE CURRENT TIMELINE. Don't get me started on BEAST VERSE!!! (That's a can of worms I'm really not ready to open at this point)

The thing with Mentally strong individuals is, they have abnormally high emotional intelligence, they are unnaturally resilient, they can compartmentalize their grief, they empathise with great deal of people, think rationally at any given point and think of ways to make things better.

What many people fail to understand is that no one is born Mentally strong, it's the circumstances that make them as such.

It can happen even through small things.

No one being there for you to express your deepest fears. No one just listening to you, even if they have a solution to your problem. Or having seen other's nightmares come to reality and feeling your own are much smaller, or having made to fell that way.

It creates the mentality of never sharing your fears, your insecurities, your discomfort - because at the back of the mind you keep telling yourself - oh, this person has gone through so much more than i have, my fear is nothing compared to it. I can handle it on my own, they have their own problems to handle. Everyone is busy, i don't think they have time to listen to the same problem I've been facing for years now. I've manages so far, i think I can manager just fine.

You start to undervalue your own feelings and start to fell like you'll burden them. Start to feel like you NEED to handle it on your own.

Now, i don't want to go into a spiral of mental health, but when you look at Chuuya, you can't help but marvel at that kids Mental resolution.

His first action after being stabbed in back was to make a deal with a demon to make sure he doesn't harm them, because they are just kids.

His first reaction to being provoked into revenge was to say Fuck off to his manipulator, not falling for the temptation and doing what he felt right.

He even forgave the killer of his friends (And also the one who tried to kill him) for gods sake! Understanding what he was going through.

He even walked away after knowing his parents are alive (oh the irony) not wanting to put a target on them. (I'm actually on fence with this, the chances of it being a manipulation tactic from Mori is just as high as it being the truth)

He had tremendous mental fortitude.

But you still see the cracks in his emotional state,

He was desperate to know if he was human or not, inclining towards the later.

He didn't know, that your friends can do some nice things without expecting anything in return. They can go above and beyond your regular stuff just because they are your friends, there doesn't need to be of anything at stake in friendship.

Hell, there was a point he believed having a Heart was too sophisticated for him, that he can't be that human!

I can go hours and hours about this.

What i can say for sure is, he has demons in all sizes, shapes and forms, something that he has stuffed in his closet only to deal with them himself, not letting them see the light of the day.

i just don't see anyone actually being there for him long enough for him to trust them fully with his demons.

No, not even Dazai. Dazai himself was a walking cry for help, like hell Chuuya is adding to that pile. He may have found a constant in Dazai in three years, seeing as all other's met their end in one. I believe in those three years, somewhere Soukoku began to feel like his safe place, somewhere he didn't had to think about his demons only by the virtue of dealing with one made of flesh and bones. But then even Dazai left.

I don't think even Kouyou was there for most part. And considering her obsession with a flowers of dark with Kyouka, i think it pulled Chuuya more in her own tragedy. Afterall, she also was never saved.

Mori is there, but Mori is a Demon in his own rights. What we've seen is their interactions have been those of a boss and his close confidents, nothing personal or emotional. Which also makes sense when you think of Mori's theory of running an organization. Chuuya, all things considered, the most powerful member of PM and he is treated as such.

The other significant members of PM, the guerrilla squad, black lizards or Kajji - all of them may know him better than most, but he is still their executive. If a 15 and younger kid took the title of being a protector of his rag-tag group seriously, being a responsible and dependable executive comes with higher stakes. He will carry out his role as one, even if it's the last thing he does.

.

.

.

That was me rambling.

My point is, i wanna give Chuuya a big hug, tell him it's okay to fell tried sometimes. To let himself be vulnerable. That his fears are not invalid. That he is not invalid. That he isn't the problem, never was.

That he will still be valued and wanted, even if he one day looses his ability or he is no longer the strongest.

Can someone please save his boy?

[cocktailjjrs]

I haven't got the link to the whole chapter so this is based only on the spoilers so far...

What the fuck is even going on.....

I understand making the whole thing seem like a lost cause, likely driving Atsushi to a corner and bring out his best move yet again... not to mention highlighting and progressing his partnership with Akutagawa.

But this is just becoming ridiculous....

I was actually worried after last chapter with Kunikida, if he actually stayed dead after being killed right in front of Atsushi, the resulting character development for our protagonist would have made sense....I was hoping against it, but you can never know for sure...

But with these spoilers, I'm damn sure no one is actually staying dead. Atleast not the ones killed by this disaster of a creature... that's like 1/3rd of the cast - something they built on for years, it's not going away that easily...

Then the point remains.... why go through all this???

I'm yet to find any plausible answer other than for plot (which will be a shitty excuse, if I'm being honest). Like to do something just for the sake of it...

And while Shin soukoku is solid point to make, it could have been done wayyyy better...

[cocktailjjrs]

skk fic rec time !!! 🖤🖤

okay i officially have more skk fics bookmarked on my ao3 than my sister has fics in general bookmarked on hers. so. it is time for another ficrec list by abram, bsd/skk version this time!!!

i have no idea yet how many fics will be on this list. i will go until i decide to stop. but as of right now i have 124 bsd fics bookmarked and i definitely won't be listing all of them so if anyone wants a pt. 2 then i certainly have the material to do that.

i'm not putting warnings with the fics, but bc this is BSD please do take note of tags and warnings that are given! i read a lot of fics with darker material so do be cautious!

One-Shots:

keep you alive, set you on fire by flyby @orbitalflyby (Explicit, 23k) Dazai steps out in a dress and heels for a mission, since the gown won't fit Yosano. He's only supposed to spend an hour or so leading their targets on a dance around a charity gala, but the unexpected arrival of a certain Port Mafia Executive threatens to disrupt all his plans. And when he and Chuuya find themselves finally face to face, they end up entwined in a tense game of mutual provocation...

~

Don't Pull Your Punches by kanekei (Teen and Up Audiences, 5k) Everyone thinks that their partnership is a series of Dazai being a troublemaker while Chuuya is helplessly dragged along for the ride. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Some days it feels like Dazai is the only one aware of how insane Chuuya actually is. OR: 3 times Dazai cleans up after Chuuya + 1 time he doesn’t bother

~

The 5 Elements of an Apology by artemisiatea (Teen and Up Audiences, 6k) in which dazai learns that change is hard, but accountability is harder

~

Tea Over Rice by the_most_happy (Teen and Up Audiences, 8k) “Oi, Dazai— what would people say if they saw us?” Dazai gave him a puzzled look. “That we’re happy,” he answered. He made it sound simple; he made it sound pure. “They would say we’re happy.” They never stopped being Double Black — just different clothes and less blood on their hands. [Or: What if Dazai and Chuuya escaped the Port Mafia together?]

~

Lost All Judgement by todxrxki (Teen and Up Audiences, 12k) “Uh, sorry, but unfortunately I already have a date to the dance.” “Oh, really?” Tachihara says, sounding disappointed. He pauses for a second, clearly processing what Chuuya’s just told him, and then says, “Who is it?” Chuuya certainly hadn’t budgeted for this. Panicking, he tries to think of the people that he knows that are single, and before he knows it, the first name that comes to mind is slipping out of his mouth. “With Dazai.” / After a momentary lapse in judgment, high school student Chuuya ends up having to pretend to date his enemy Dazai to get Tachihara off of his back - and quickly finds it's nowhere as bad as he'd imagined.

~

oh darling it's alarming to think of us apart (you know you've got me in your pocket) by interludewings (Teen and Up Audiences, 20k) “Okay so if we’re both still single when we’re twenty two,” Dazai’s smile grew even wider. “Let’s marry each other.” By the time Chuuya’s twenty two, he’d probably be in a relationship with someone else, and the possibilities of them even remembering each other were slim to none. And so, Chuuya gave his answer. “Fine, let’s do that.” In short, fifteen year olds Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya made a stupid promise one day in their school library out of boredom, which leads to the next seven years of their life filled with fighting, burnt notebooks and late night conversations.

~

The Undercover Mission by OldSauk411 (Teen and Up Audiences, 16k) It all started when Atsushi was sent to drop off some papers that the Port Mafia had let them borrow. That was when he saw her, the woman with orange hair and blue eyes standing in the Port Mafia's hallways and talking. She was beautiful if he was being honest. However, after he left, he forgot about her- at least until a few months later, when the ADA and the Port Mafia teamed up for an undercover mission. One that was led by said 'woman'. Aka, Chuuya Nakahara. _____ Or: Atsushi sees a woman from a distance and thinks she's beautiful, up until the Port Mafia and the ADA team up for an undercover mission and it's revealed that the woman was actually Chuuya Nakahara.

~

Nothing but your spine by osamuchuu (Mature, 6k) “Oi, Dazai. We’re here.” Chuuya reached into the car to shake Dazai’s shoulders a bit, rearranging his coat to lay over the man’s back. Dazai swayed and blinked up at him. Whatever painkillers he’d been given had stolen the sharpness from his face. Dazai looked fifteen again, wide-eyed and vulnerable. And then he smiled. He smiled and Chuuya’s heart stuttered because it was so fucking real, so small and different from all the painted faces he wore now. This was dangerous.

~

strange loyalties by finalizer @tarmairons (Mature, 13k) “The Agency dorms are being fumigated,” Dazai explained cheerfully. “So, I offered—Atsushi can stay with us.” Or: Atsushi's observations from inside Yokohama's strangest household.

[sidenote: this is actually a sequel fic and while i loved the first one, this one really just took me to a whole other plane of existence which is why it's the one on the rec list. i do also rec the first one though!]

~

Yokohama public High School- almost as crazy as their pep rallies by BlowingYourMind (General Audiences, 20k) "The slacks! They're way too tight on him! Exactly no teachers ass should be like that, the students may be offended-" "Dazai, I think you're the only one that notices, and maybe refrain from eyeing up your co-workers like that-" "But how can I not!" Dazai huffed "It's right there in front of my face, it's hideous!" Oda sighed. he was just an average man with an average job gaining an average salary, but he would need to find a way to help Dazai and his obvious crush on Chuuya Nakahara before he lost his sanity. Or The story of how Chemistry teacher Dazai Osamu fell helplessly for coach Nakahara Chuuya, and the student body's many attempts to get them together.

~

If you refuse to listen I'll say it twice, love of my life by olympiansally @olympiansally (Mature, 15k) There’s Atsushi, Dazai’s star pupil. There’s Fyodor, arguably Dazai’s soulmate, a single mind in two bodies. There’s Kunikida, Dazai’s partner. There’s Oda, the reason Dazai wants to live. And then there’s Chuuya. If he asked Dazai to define him, to name his purpose, Chuuya already knows what he would hear. Chuuya is his dog, Chuuya is a slug, Chuuya is a chibi. And sure, maybe he is. But none of that is enough. Or, Chuuya can’t figure out what he means to Dazai exactly, but if he would only listen, he would realize that Dazai has been telling him all along.

~

In the throes of Corruption by BlowingYourMind (Teen and Up Audiences, 7k) Dazai’s ability ‘No longer human’ ironically made Chuuya human. It stripped him of the god that set his insides to flame and wreaked havoc. Corruption was terrible to Chuuya but Dazai’s touch never was. Or Five times Dazai helps Chuuya through the throes of Corruption.

~

hide the truth by writingfromtheshadows (Not Rated, 24k) When Chuuya wakes up in the middle of an ongoing fight without any memory of how he got there or what happened to him, he ends up turning to someone saved as 'bandage-waster' in his phone. Somehow, it just feels like the right decision.

~

Dream a little dream of me by BlowingYourMind (Teen and Up Audiences, 9k) "What would you like to dream of, Chuuya?" Dazai asked, and his partner shifted in the bed before settling down. "I dunno idiot, you pick." Dazai hummed, "I believe I can arrange that." Chuuya's eyelashes fluttered against Dazai's palm as Dazai continued to speak, voice turning into a whisper as he spoke late into the night. Or Chuuya can't dream, and Dazai has a soloution that quickly turns into a routine between the two of them.

~

Multichapter fics (all complete)

in the mirror, i bloom by ephemeralis (Teen and Up Audiences, 12k, 2/2) It twists him, turns him, curls in his chest like something alive, something he knows but can’t dare to name. Chuuya curses the red-black petals that fall from his lips, these nearly rotten things that tear him apart from the inside out. Part of him wants to rip his own traitorous heart out, through a ribcage shattered by feelings he can’t contain. Anger is easy, a thing he’s learned to control. This— whatever the hell this is— is not. Or at least it’s easier to feel as though this is beyond his own control, because Chuuya is not in love. (It feels like a lie even to himself.) After he's hit by a strange ability, Chuuya is forced to consider truths he'd much rather keep hidden- but not everything is as simple it seems.

[sidenote: this was the first bsd fic i ever read and HOOOOLLY CRAP what a beautiful way to join the fandom. i've reread this fic several times since. stunning.]

~

where your loyalties lie by writingfromtheshadows (Explicit, 163k, 20/20) Loyalty is the foundation of the yakuza code, something that was drilled into Chuuya at an early age. However, his lessons did not cover how to manage a political marriage with his organization's oldest rival.

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Inseparable by milwritsecausewhynot (Teen and Up Audiences, 107k, 21/21) Best friends is too simple a term to squash the entire dynamic of Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya within. Sure, they’ve known each other since they were children, and they’re each other’s #1 on their best friend lists on Snapchat, and Chuuya’s been seen one too many times in his hoodies. People have also noticed how Dazai’s main muse for his volunteer hobby of polaroid photographer is the redhead himself. But the pranks they pull on each other isn’t much of a ‘best friend’ thing to do. Especially when one of the pranks get pulled so far, That Chuuya is forbidden from seeing Dazai ever again. And though he sees no good coming from such a forced separation, the one thing that can enhance their futures together is propelled forward at a faster speed than either of them could have ever imagined: Coming to terms with their unusual feelings for each other.

~

Do I Get My Worthless Reward Yet? by World_Ender22 (Teen and Up Audiences, 40k, 10/10) Chuuya has always been certain of two things: he is going to die young, and it will be Corruption that kills him. So when the Boss orders him to use his Corrupted form without an out, he is neither surprised nor distressed. He simply does what he's told. When Dazai learns that the whole thing is a ploy to make him rejoin the Mafia, he plans to beat Mori at his own game... starting with convincing Chuuya to join the Armed Detective Agency. / Soukoku

~

When I Awake by wildflowertea @wildflowerteas (Mature, 235k, 23/23) Dazai Osamu has been in a coma for exactly one year, seven months, and twenty-two days. But Death still refuses to take him. Trapped in the space between worlds, and unable to die, Dazai waits, killing what precious time he may have left and hoping—praying—that his family will pull the plug and move on. He doesn't expect someone to move into his old apartment instead. Nakahara Chuuya, two-time Grammy awards winner, and freshly unemployed pessimist, has never believed in fate—much less the supernatural. But the lively—if a bit annoying—ghost of his apartment's previous tenant, might just change everything.

~

hopelessly devoted by soukocacola (Explicit, 188k, 18/18) "Get your grades up." Oda tells him. "Then we'll talk." Well, Dazai thinks. If he's going to be miserable, the least he can do is make Chuuya miserable, too. Maybe then Chuuya will ditch him and Dazai can fail out of college with no regrets. 

~

His Prized Experiment by fauxtales @fauxfroot (Mature, 94k, 18/18) "As terrifying as it could be, there was something just so freeing in using Corruption. It is, after all, his strongest state. No one can harm him when he uses Corruption; he is all but invincible. There are days when he lets himself dream. There is the part of him wondering if that’s just the god or his instincts trying to convince him to unleash pure chaos and destruction on the world, but that thought is easy enough to push away. He has no control in that state after all." As a teenager, Chuuya is subjected to experiments at Mori's hand in an attempt to find a way to control Corruption. Now, years later, Mori has decided it's time to revisit the experiments. Dazai is having none of it. But can they really leave their entire life behind?

~

death offers no absolution by Zairielon (Mature, 62k, 10/10) After so many years in the Port Mafia, Chuuya thought he couldn't be phased by anything - that he had carried out the worst orders that would ever be given to him. Then he sees things he never saw before. He sees horror, cruelty, needless suffering. He sees death in every step he takes. Chuuya is only human, too. Eventually, he breaks. OR, Chuuya leaves the Port Mafia and attempts to escape his bloodstained past.

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from a to o, i love you so by anticide @anticidic (Explicit, 22k, 3/3) Here they were dancing a dangerous tango and crossing lines and blurring boundaries that neither Fukuzawa nor Mori would take kindly to. Dazai was supposed to have gotten over Chuuya, not melted in his embrace and bound them together for an eternity. (Or: Dazai and Chuuya's unconventional relationship sparks a radical change within Dazai when he wakes up one day under the weather and feeling very, very off.)

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My Body is Your Body (I Won't Tell Anybody) by thereweregiants (Explicit, 26k, 2/2) Thanks to a rogue ability user, Dazai and Chuuya find themselves switching bodies. ...yeah, there's no way this ends well.

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Mission - Entrancing Armed Detective Agency by cocktailjjrs (Teen and Up Audiences, 105k, 12/12) “Charming? Have you finally started dreaming now?” Dazai turned to face his longtime partner again “Say what you want, asshole, but people like me better anyway” Chuuya ignored the jab at his lack of dreams, only shrugging in response. “I can bet anything in this world that you can’t be liked by everyone. Your efforts will be fruitless by the end of the day” “Wanna bet?” Chuuya smirked “You’re on!” Dazai returned the smirk “I’ll tell you who your target will be” . . . In which, Dazai and Chuuya are upto their old shenanigans and make a bet. As a result - Bonds are formed, secrets are revealed, money is spent, devious plans are concatenated; someone gets drugged, someone gets punched, someone gets a wakeup slap. And Chuuya's 'brute' image is at imminent risk. All of this - to with the bet!

~

Prey to Your Instincts by skylorr (Mature, 98k, 8/8) He was a beta. He was normal. Barely any scent, no cycles, no mating instincts. Just plain old normal. At least, that’s what he thought. He thought he was normal. But instead, Dazai is currently curled up on his single mattress in the shipping container that he calls home as he sweats profusely and struggles through cramps, pains, and the desire to nest. His mattress has a single thin blanket, which apparently does not satisfy the omega instincts trying to claw their way out of his mind. He was so close, too; days away from his 17th birthday, the birthday that would have officially made him a beta. Hope is a killer disease.

[sidenote: there is also a sequel to this fic that i recommend just as much! it's still a WIP <3]

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Illustrations of Lying by writingfromtheshadows (Mature, 49k, 20/20) It is more difficult, perhaps, to bear with fortitude the little daily trails of life, than great calamities, because we summon up all our spiritual and moral strength to resist the latter...  Upon faced with the culmination of Mori's plan, Dazai does not go to Odasaku's side. Instead, he relieves Mori of his duties.

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i'll bleed out for you by StarshipDancer @neonganymede (Mature, 75k, 7/7) What a shitty way to die.... Less than forty-eight hours ago, they’d been impaled together, and Chuuya had feared that the broken metal pole had pinned him in place against a corpse. Now, he worried that a corpse sat next to him, nothing more than a poorly-crafted imitation of his ex-partner. ... And what an even shittier situation to be stuck in. Or, A mission goes wrong, and Soukoku die together. Except, they don't, but now they're stuck in a safe house pretending that they did. And if Chuuya wants to find out what went wrong with Dazai's plan, he'll first have to find a way around the wall of silence that his former partner has built to keep him out.

~

Cigarette Game by chowderpuff (Teen and Up Audiences, 9k, 2/2) Chuuya has a crush on Dazai. Dazai knows this, and he thinks it’s a prime opportunity to mess with his partner a little. After all, why not? Chuuya’s reactions to his flirting are priceless, a new little bonus feature to the game between them, and Dazai actually starts to find it more entertaining than outright arguing. It’s all harmless fun until Dazai realizes that he has feelings too. Then it's decidedly not.

[ author's tumblrs are tagged when i could find them! if you know one who wasn't tagged or if you're an author and would like to be untagged, let me know! ]

[cocktailjjrs]

Well, Mori can be funnyyyy....

IM DYING LMAO

I'VE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR THE PAST 10 MINUTES LMAO

I dont loke Mori but this shit is too funny

[cocktailjjrs]

How does a Action-Comedy Manga has such a pure, heartfelt and at the same time tragic and heartbreaking love stories.... It's something so wholesome...

Spy x Family is soooo...

Because at some point or the other, we understand what's going on with Martha or Henry -

Even in today's age we struggle to express our feelings freely, we chicken out at the last moment and then keep thinking back to what-ifs. Let alone doing so in a war-ridden world.

We can relate to Martha...

And there's this situation....

It's always difficult to keep in touch with someone who is even a city away... Distance is the biggest enemy of any relationship - platonic or romantic.

War changes a person, i think we've seen it so many times in the history...

It broke my heart when i read this😭

On a side note, if being pessimist was a person, it would be him -

Because while i understand where this narration is coming from... This simply can't be the only outlook of everyone in the world... If it was, this world might have burned to the ground ages ago.

But it also seems that kids seen some shit to turn out to be the man he is today... And honestly i can't wait for his back story too... because the question comes, is it a generational trauma that got him? Is it the war-ridden society? How did the situation get more fucked up, leading upto experimenting on humans?

All that shit... it just went down the hill from this...

Any ways, i was downright crying by the end of the chapter. Knowing Henry tried to move on, thinking Martha was never coming back... Only for Martha to be out there near the east-west border...

That's angst right there...

It's said -

That those who die, just pass away. It's those who survive, suffer...

And isn't that true...

How did we end up here again?

[cocktailjjrs]

I just completed reading bsd 115.

And while the last few chapters had uttering only WTF by the end of them, this chapter has made me take one step further....

So, please answer this -

Where the FUCK are those who WANTED their FYODOR POOKIE TO SURVIVE!!!!

Because that.... Thing... is OUT OF HIS MIND!!!

We lost one more Hunting dog.

Fukuchi is beyond messed up... now known as a Divine one??? (sounds like a fanfic character to me tbh)

All seems lost...

and we have Fyodor going around saying this -

and he also has the AUDACITY to say this -

Bro's completely lost it...

[cocktailjjrs]

Y'know

After thinking long and hard... maybe not everything is lost...

Why i think so?

Because of this...

We know Dazai and Fyodor have been playing their 5D chess this whole time, all the time having moves like - oh, i thought you would do this so i did this... I knew you were going to counter like this, so this is my next move... I was banking on you doing this to complete my next step... so on and so forth...

Here Dazai starts running to contact Ranpo, and we dont know exactly how much of a time difference is between the two events but we see Ranpo rushing to stop Fyodor from making his next move...

This implies, that both Dazai and Ranpo when strategizing DID think of the possibility of FYODOR BEING A VAMPIRE!!!

And if I've learned anything from BSD till date, it's the fact that when Dazai OR Ranpo think of something as a possible even turning against them - they always find a countermeasure for it.

And here we have Dazai AND Ranpo working together, they surely will have something else up their sleeves... Even if its something as basic as trusting the SSKK...

What do you guys think?