blackwaves

[blackwaves]

[blackwaves]

Long haired character with the hair falling like liquid all over them as they’re hurt and on their knees

[blackwaves]

tsujimura not only sharing the same name as her mother, but also her birthday. like every part of her life being a part of her mother, one way or another, she can't escape it—following her legacy, chasing to know who she was even after her death, sharing the same name, bearing her ability, one she cannot control, and her birth date. does she sometimes ponder how her mother reacted when she was born? does she think of her, too, on that day? does she wish her a happy birthday, too? how many birthdays has she spent, wishing she could spend her special day with her mother? when did she give up on that hope?

[blackwaves]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

(tagged by @marichild tyyyy <3)

.

how many works do you have on ao3?

18 technically, but two are anon so the official count is 16.

what’s your total ao3 word count?

35k approximately!

what are your top five fics by kudos?

technically i have 2 very old redacted fics at the top (1 and 4 respectively) but striking them out to say: city haunts (link click): the shao yuanyuan fic i'm genuinely proud of and opened the minute i finished lc (i was possessed. sorry i love a middleaged deadbeat mom who is timelooping. god. thinks about her.) would you bite them (alnst): lukatill choking fic. closes my mouth and zips it up. play me something, i won't sing (alnst): mizihyuna fic!!! i'm so fond of it conceptually but i wrote it in a feverdream and want to write something better for them eventually. 20k bildungsroman of my dreams one day please please please. get underneath my skin (link click): faces down my flaws and mistakes. um. sometimes you trip and fall onto the dick of your partner's future murderer mid-timeloop. rarepair mess and sex you hate. let's not talk about it <3 part-time soulmate (bsd): meursault polycule fyozai dimension-hopping <3

what fandoms do you write for?

currently mostly bsd and link click— definitely want to write for more fandoms (and have some fics for others, clearly) but it depends on where the obsessions take me.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

it depends on the day you catch me on!! i always appreciate them dearly, it just— depends on the day you catch me.

what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think i tend towards open endings before i go for anything set-in-stone? so it depends.

what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

as above, open endings before anything else <3

do you get hate on fics?

no <3 2 hits per fic privileges strikes once again.

do you write smut?

i USED to not. i spent a considerable amount of time Not. and then. stares down recent works. unfortunately i do think sometimes sex is fun and interesting in a throws-blorbos-into-a-blender way (and i appear to be horny pavloving myself into thinking [redacted] is hot but that's neither here nor there)

do you write crossovers?

no!! not necessarily opposed to doing so, though, it just hasn't occurred to me in a way that i think would be interesting for me to write? yet, at least.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as i know, no. again, 2 hits per fic privileges.

have you ever had a fic translated?

no!!

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

are we counting absurd dnd fic that lives purely in google docs. i'm assuming a negative on that, so instead i will just say: technically no, but @marichild and i's lukatill fics (links: mine, mari's) were definitely very influenced by each other and by conversations in dms. the veinguang bad sex mess is also part of a larger au planned out with mari, but gestures vaguely i literally got possessed by. that fic. idk what happened there, i'm still possessed by it and it lives rentfree in my head where xia fei and cxs are being sulky puppies and lu guang is spiritually trying to kill himself.

what’s your all time favourite ship?

this time i am invoking ridiculous dnd fic because i (1) don't actually ship often in conventional ways (2) miss my dnd characters. i spent multiple years writing exclusively dnd fic in documents that got sent to like 3 people max and i miss it a lot sometimes. dynamics and characters of all time that exist properly only if you had the misfortune of knowing me in middleschool, you know? let's say it's tied between the nightmare death/resurrection mess of my first dnd pc (performative overdramatic nightmare love) and between the horrible aro rep of my favorite pc (bitey grief-stricken teenager of all time). both insanely influential to me as a person and i cut my teeth learning to write with them.

what’s the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hmmm. the kouyou gaiden fic i really want to pick back up; i'm so fond of it conceptually and so insane over it, i literally just assigned myself reading before i can finish it. kouyou ayatsuji frenemies agenda lives in my head, as does assistant director tsujimura and her relationship with this verse's kouyou.

what are your writing strengths?

i have no idea <3 i've been told my writing is very distinct and that i have a unique voice in prose, and i'm kind of proud of that, though idk if the voice in question is good? i'm fond of the way i write characters as messy in each other's direction, but idk if i am right to say i'm good at it.

what are your writing weaknesses?

character voice forever. in origfiction it's often plot, but for fic: character voice forever, i'm horrible at specifically dialogue that matches canon energy, even when i'm confident in my characterization choices outside that.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think mainly full sentences are risky unless you're sure what you're doing and have a reason behind it? on the other hand: honorifics are fun to me, and i think there's a specific easy, parceled-out conveyance of information/context to them that means i enjoy using them.

first fandom you wrote for?

um. fucking marvel. lokific on ffn.net. let's not think about it. fun fact i also wrote solangelo on ffn.net like a decade ago; it was horrible and cringe but <3

favourite fic you’ve ever written?

the f!fukuchi fic and its adjacent teruko fic!!! they're so important to me. i'm v picky about genderbends— i try to be critical of how they feed into various -isms + i'm often disappointed by them when found in the wild, but i have an undeniable fondness for them. i think the original conception for the fukuchi fic started with: bsd doesn't have either enough women over 26 nor enough women who are crazy about each other, so i think it would be effortless + fascinating + also justice to make fukuzawa and his paramours into middleaged lesbians and to change nothing else about them as characters. i was right for that but the fic itself is mostly-genfic about grief and also throwing characters at each other to be bitches about their mutual dead spouse <3 etc. equally importantly the teruko fic that stands mostly-alone is about mentormess. thinks about teruko forever.

tagging anyone who got this far etc <3

[blackwaves]

transforming that popular fandom ship into a qpr WILL save you btw

[blackwaves]

i love you atsushi i love your vague and immeasurable purpose i love how fear motivates you more than your values i love how you can forgive any wrongdoing until it’s against you. i love how you carry guilt with you always. i love how your kindness is selfish and most of all i love how you’re too painfully realistic to fit the character archetype people want from you

[blackwaves]

points. do YOU like link click. do YOU enjoy one-sided-enemies to acquaintances-with-benefits and bad sex decisions that will eventually tumble into romcom status but haven't hit either the comedy or romance yet because lu guang is too busy having a mental breakdown. do YOU enjoy when people fuck their partner's future murderer mid-timeloop and think about throwing up about it. if the answer is yes: stream get underneath my skin on ao3 today!

[blackwaves]

points. do YOU like link click. do YOU enjoy one-sided-enemies to acquaintances-with-benefits and bad sex decisions that will eventually tumble into romcom status but haven't hit either the comedy or romance yet because lu guang is too busy having a mental breakdown. do YOU enjoy when people fuck their partner's future murderer mid-timeloop and think about throwing up about it. if the answer is yes: stream get underneath my skin on ao3 today!

[blackwaves]

wait beyond anything else btw it is so funny that i am constantly posting like "value platonic relationships in fiction" bc it is mostly just like. romantic/sexual/platonic/familial are not immutable categories with zero overlap to me, they're just different colors to paint with. the more accurate-to-myself way to phrase it would simply be hi get more interesting about it.

[blackwaves]

dumb loser girl

[blackwaves]

stares at the ceiling. aromantic not in the "friendship is sacred 🥺 don't sexualize everything 🥺" way but in the stop clearly delineating different types of importance-to-each-other into inherently very western-centric labels and boxes and get Weirder about it way. mix and match and blur together categories forever way. btw.

wait beyond anything else btw it is so funny that i am constantly posting like "value platonic relationships in fiction" bc it is mostly just like. romantic/sexual/platonic/familial are not immutable categories with zero overlap to me, they're just different colors to paint with. the more accurate-to-myself way to phrase it would simply be hi get more interesting about it.

[blackwaves]

It was a pretty reference, so I decided to use it. It suits him so much

[blackwaves]

everything about liu xiao becomes infinitely funnier when you remember he's 20 years old. he's the youngest sibling. the girl in the gambling den that everyone thought he was "showing off" to was definitely older than him. he tried to shoot himself twice while playing russian roulette, then busted a fraud so bad it was on international news. he's trying to bribe a working model's friendship. he's driving vein around in his sports car. he thinks of people in chess terms. he probably was, what, a pre-teen at best, maybe even younger, when he spouted nonsense to li tianchen?

maybe the reason he tries to keep his mysterious vibe is precisely because he's 20. he should've been at the club. or no, wait, I think he should go to grad school after uni. grad school would fix him (it won't, it would make him worse, but it would keep him busy)

[blackwaves]

The two best reasons to ship anything are:

1.Incredible, deep and detailed narrative themes. The parallels that seem to hit just right, the narrative foils that they can be to each other, the intricate dynamic that's both extremely complex and easily understood. The juxtaposition between something that's harsh and undoubtedly toxic, with the softer undertones, the parts where you read in-between the lines and find a mutual feeling of loneliness from both parts, their intrinsic understanding of each other comes from the mere fact that they're each others mirrored reflections and shadows. In the end both sides will be together forever, and you as an audience can clearly see their tragedy laid out before in a path that blurs pure anguish and tender romance

2.It would be so fucking funny

[blackwaves]

hey check this out *dies in front of you in every universe*

[blackwaves]

the first rule of shipping is get aromantic with it. the second rule is that gender and sexuality are what i want them to be. the third rule is have fun and be yourself

[blackwaves]

don't look at me with those eyes..