#I'll likely delete this in a few days
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OTHER BLOGS PAGE HAS BEEN UPDATED
Here is the full list-
But I'm also gonna tag everyone I added so they know and can contact me if they wish to be removed (or have info updated).
@ask-sum-2ps
@my2phetaliaheadcanons
@ask-p2-germany
@massivebadonker
@bunny-bun-draws (also, just wanted to let you know if you do see this that i still cherish the stickers i bought from you)
@allen-arthur
@cardverse-royality-and-rouges
@alfredosause50
@ask-2p-japan-kyohonda
@ask-badlydrawn2pjapan
@ask-feli-and-2ps
@hetalia-2p-headcanons
@ask-2p-hetaliaaa
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morning repose🌄
#our wonderland#art: iggy#art: genzou#art: genzy#art: ow#dragon's dogma 2#dragon's dogma#dd2#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO POST LIKE 15 MINUTES AGO BUT MY SCHEDULED POST DISAPPEARED???#i don't know what happened#anyway...#thinking of making a little series of drawings based on some of my favorite cute lines that genzou says#like this one that he says every once in a while in the morning when they wake up in their house...#my heart melts every time...#their own cozy little house...#with just one bed........#OH I'LL WEEP#also he gets jealous sometimes when others come over LDKJFASLDFA#and then genzou will say “shall we hunt a few monsters to start the day off?” and they'll go on an adventure#i'm fundamentally broken#if my scheduled post suddenly appears at some random point in the future i'll delete it i guess#carrot plays dd2
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Hello! I love all your AU's, and wanted to know if you still take animorph au ideas? I figured that you most likely have a big backlog of them and didn't want to add to it if they aren't wanted
Oh lord, I don't know. I guess? Like, the backlog thing is spot-on. As is the fact that I think I answer about 1% of the AU requests I receive, just because I get so many and so many of them are outside my expertise. So I haven't explicitly closed my askbox to AU requests, but I do have 6 in progress and want to try to finish at least 3 of those before I start any others.
Also: I think most people know this, but it takes me a long freaking time to write those AUs. I think my fastest-ever turnaround was about a week for the controller-Naomi one, and the slowest was over six years (!!!) for the Maximum Ride crossover. Most AU requests gotta stew for a couple months before I have an answer I like.
So like, if in the span of a month I get asks like "what if the Animorphs were in a world with no shrimp?" then "I guess my idea sucked, but I was wondering about an AU without shrimp" then "Sorry for bothering you but I had this idea about no-shrimp Animorphs" I will ctrl+F "shrimp" and delete every instance from my inbox. And then delete any half-drafts I might've started. Because that crap is demoralizing as hell. And it'd suck every iota of joy out of writing fan fiction if it could.
#animorphs#animorphs aus#about the blogger#sorry that isn't an answer one way or another#hopefully it clarifies things a little?#back when I had 5 outstanding au requests i could afford to spend a few months researching each one#now that i have [checks inbox] 300 outstanding requests#I gotta stick to those that i already feel qualified to write#which is an unhelpful standard for anyone wondering how to get a request filled - i am sorry about that#just please#please please don't send me passive aggression about unanswered asks#i get enough of that at my day job and if this blog starts feeling too much like my work inbox then i'll have to delete it
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job rant incoming
#ok so a couple weeks ago i registered with a cleaning agency and got offered 2 days of work which i had to refuse because i was still at uni#haven't heard anything since#got a message a few days ago from a different cleaning company (job with regular hours) asking if i was free for a trial shift this week and#i told them i was. radio silence since#i'm hoping i'll get a message sometime today because the job description listed the start date as monday#did an interview for a tutoring place that i'll hear from in the next week or so but i'm not confident#i really really want the regular cleaning job cus if they're alright with me being on holiday for a couple days at the end of june#and i can work the rest of the summer i would make enough money to pay the bills for the house AND completely fund 2 trips i have in mind#i hate being worried about money and jobs and idk this feels like a very first world rant lol#cus i could pay the bills for my student house next year without working this summer but i'd have very little money for anything fun#the trips are v unnecessary but is it really so bad to want to have fun money? ofc worst case scenario and i'm jobless this summer i'll go#without the plans or change them but.....yeah#delete later#ellis exclaims
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.
#tis that time of the month (a few days before my period. yay for having pmdd lol) where i just.#wanna DELETE my entire presence off of the internet 🥲#LIke. delete my tumblr blogs. delete my fics/comics. delete my webtoon. delete my insta/socials/youtube...#mainly bc i feel like my art/stories are worthless and there's no point in pretending they're worth continuing :')#anyway. I know this will pass as soon as my period starts..#Or at least. usually I'm 'over it' within a few days#but yeah. Feeling kinda like there's nothing i can contribute.. that hasn't been done (better) already by someone else :')#funky's personal tag#also don't worry. I have yet to act on these feelings other than post these pathetic self pitying personal posts LMAO#So feel free to ignore. I'll probably be back to normal in a day or two#i always feel like this but i don't always get weary from it i suppose 🤔 that's what having a complete lack of self esteem will do to ya 😅#delete later
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Can you not post those images from that anime or put them under the read more thing that tumblr has please
what do you mean "can you not post those" I already did and you already saw so what's that supposed to do now..
#if it makes you feel better I'll probably delete it along with other personal posts in like a few days or a week or weeks or forever sorry#but don't just ask me if I could not post something if it's about a specific post help
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really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have
#then i'm left trying not to respond like a bitch when the rules are there in the first place so i don't have to have negative interactions#with the people who come to this blog#like keeping it 100 you write for yourself but you write for ENGAGEMENT and COMMUNITY#and these days in fandom there really is no community#for any fandom across the board#people see something and move on#that's bad enough at killing fandoms#but the fact that a creator can have really only one super hard rule and it gets disregarded every day#day in and day out! and i really mean it this rule gets broken in my inbox DAILY man!#i write for a lot of small fandoms or smaller characters i love the characters i'm happy to do it#but i have an adult job. college. friends. family. my own original creative projects#and even if i don't respond to the asks where people are blatantly violating /again/#one of my FEW rules#it's exhausting to even see it !!!#it makes me not feel like a person#who cares what the girl behind the screen asked me not to do? right?? but i'm about done#i'm only at my breaking point because i've had this blog now for what three or four years??#and no matter how i phrase the rule people break it#no matter how many reminder posts#it's exhausting because it's an every day daily thing#idk maybe i'll feel better abt it in the morning but i'm getting exhausted tbh#exhausted as in this blog might be going BYE BYE i wont delete i think you'd have it up until tumblr goes away but i am getting pissed off#TRULY pissed off bc it's been years of me asking cmon now
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My favorite works in no particular order:
Tipsy Tales (Anemo Boys)
Symbiosis (Ayato)
What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)
Hello How Are You (Gorou)
Follow the Wind II (Kazuha)
Of the Same Coin (Mika)
Songs of the Wind (Venti)
Nothing Lasts Forever (Yae Miko)
Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness (Zhongli)
Of Hopes and Prayers (Zhongli)
#about me#it actually is a coincidence that majority are from different characters and not the same#so in like manner as another list i gave a while back i shall give fun facts about each#tipsy tales - one day i will update the post to include wanderer and will not tell anyone or reblog it#symbiosis - one of my favorite readers. i just like the way they speak. i dont have a full story planned for them as of yet#what destiny has brought - in truth i cannot stand fischl. she annoys me. i only wrote this bc i wanted her to stop being so delusional#hello how are you - tbh i only like this bc i think i absolutely nailed the voice and characterization. one day i will write a sequel#follow the wind ii - probably my all time favorite work. features one of the few kisses i have ever written.#(cont) but it cant be understood without reading the first chapter and my thoughts on kazuha as a character#of the same coin - i'll be honest i just think this is cute. i think this fic has one of my highest reblog to notes ratios#songs of the wind - the vibes are good with this one. like the first chapter has good vibes but this chapter is even better. very warm#nothing lasts forever - i wanted to write yae in a moment of weakness. i think i did a good job#sharing a drink they call loneliness - the amateurness of the writing now makes me wince but.... the catharsis and ending is still top notch#(cont) i had a point i wanted to make with this fic and smashed it out of the ballpark#of hopes and dreams - probably the most romantic fic in the series and its a deleted scene lmao. still like how i wrote it though#i forgot to say that these arent necessarily my best written fics#they're just the fics i personally like the best#honorable mentions are:#telling them off (ayato)#completely covered in red (ayato)#simple (alhaitham)#follow the wind i (another one i completely nailed the voice and characterization for in my humble opinion)#secret identities and whatnot (venti/xiao)#indulgence (wriothesley)#slitherer-outer (zhongli)#i know i'm kinda feeling myself in this post but nobody is gonna read it anyway except for u slo so i'm fine with that <3
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sawyer was sick over the weekend so we got some blood tests done and it turns out she is diabetic, she stayed at the vet a couple of nights, it was really strange to be alone in my room those nights. i spend more time with her than anybody. then we were supposed to pick her up thursday morning and they said to come in the evening instead because her glucose was v low. the vet asked me to find a glucose sensor to bring with me that evening, it was a public holiday so i had to find a pharmacy that was actually open. when we went to get her we waited 90 minutes and the sensor was being weird so they said come back later. finally brought her back home at 11pm and the sensor still wasn't working, had to go buy another sensor and bring her back this morning to switch them out, had to leave her there for a few hours so they could switch them and make sure the new one worked, then come back in the afternoon. i've had like no sleep at all this week, its a miracle i kept my eyes open to get training to give her insulin. she's so much better since she came home, even though she's not stabilised yet she very clearly feels heaps better ❤ it was such a relief to have her sleeping on my bed again last night. i was still up all night because i felt like i needed to keep an eye on her because i didn't have the monitor. we'll be in and out a lot over the next couple of weeks while they fine tune her dosage and monitor her levels.
#i want to know when i get a break#had planed to use this week to catch up on the prof development course i enrolled in months ago that started the day before nonna passed#i hoped it would be a chance to really apply my mind to something because i feel like my brain is utterly degenerated#after the time i took off this week for this i won't be able to do any of it before it closes i'll just have to download the modules#and read them in my own time without doing any activities/participating in discussions#have to keep canceling my dental check up because things keep coming up#i've also spent the last few weeks trying to link my online tax account to my government services account but it says all my info is wrong#no matter what i give them#what do i need to do#my life updates are so miserable. i delete so many of the posts i start because they just depress me#i deleted two earlier this week#feel like i need to get something out so i keep coming back to try#i still haven't asked hr about whether we have that counselling service thing because i keep forgetting bc i always have so much to catch u#on#i'll try to remember to do it next week#tp
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combatting Sad Boy Hours by watching silly minecraft man (bdubs) and making paper stars
#i think it's working idk#I've been really down the past few days. I think it's in part just me being really tired#because that's the main reason it's getting me now#I know why I'm down like this time there's a tangible cause#so at least i know that means it'll pass#i'm about to go to bed though i think#and hopefully I'll feel a bit better in the morning when i'm rested#anyway i'm all good just a bit meh#delete later
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🏞🏞🏞
#the thing is I'm not proud of many things I've done. It's actually the exact opposite.#I kinda suck most of the time if I'm honest. but getting sober and doing it all on my own...#it's one of the only things I'm proud of when it comes to myself. sure.it's my third attempt but 1 year and 3 months...#it's the longest time I've ever managed to not try and deal with myself in a way that slowly but surely fucked me up in a very different way#I still struggle. some days are easier than others#but I'm still doing it.#being sober doesn't magically solve all my other issues but I don't spiral as much as I used to.#i don't think I'll ever be someone people can be around. which is like i don't blame people. i know how i am and how fucking difficult it is#to deal with that. the fear of abandonment that makes me push people away until they leave. the self-fulfilling prophesy of it all#the way i push and when i get the result i was expecting the immediate pull the fear and irrationality#the emotional disreggulation the self-pity#it's gotten better since i stopped drinking. less frequently and all that... but it's never gone not really#sometimes i think about the what could've beens.#what if my childhood went a little differently. what if my dad was there for me when i needed him. what if i wasn't me.#my ex best friend once told me that I'm to desperate to be saved. that nobody can do that anyway.#I'm not sure if I'd deserve it anyway. i have dreams in which I'm still me still dark and ugly and selfish and cruel at times#but i am trying i like to believe that i am already trying. i am. I'm just scared that it'll never be enough.#I'm not proud of many things but I'm 1 year and 3 months sober#only a few days and it's gonna be 1 year and 4 months#i didn't achieve much in my life but I'm here and i am trying every day i am trying and i hope on day it'll be enough#i hope one day i won't cause pain but build something good#sorry... I've just been thinking about it lately#because it is an achievement and i didn’t let myself be proud of how far I've come#alex talks#I'm still scared that people will look at me differently when they know... sometimes i feel like they can see the my rotten core anyway#to delete
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#sky delete this#i woke up and the first thing on my mind was how much i miss him#God i miss him so much i don't know what to do without him#just a few days ago i got up in the middle of the night and cuddled him on the chair in the living room#and he nuzzled his nose right into my neck like he always did#and now he's gone and im awake in the middle of the night without the ability to run to him#I'll never get to stare into his little teddy-bear eyes again as i carry him like a baby#I'll never get to play hide and seek with him or watch him twirl for a bite of my food#I can't kiss his little head anymore and it's killing me#8 years didn't feel like enough for me#i needed him. i still need him
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murder time trio come back from killing some guy (me) and dust just pulls out a rainbow cleaning duster and starts dusting himself off. horror questions him. he says it's self care
#killer recommended it#and then it becomes a normal thing for dust to dust all of them off after murder time#monster dust gets into horror's skull and then dust has to dig around in there with his feather duster#guys cmon he cant ALWAYS be dusty it probably feels weird#who wants to be perpetually covered in the dust of those you murdered like hello#duster sales in the utmv must be crazy high with how many murderers there are#there was dust on killer's skull and dust tried to be nice and use it on his skull. and then his DT got on the duster#killer's face then became a banned space for usage because that shit fucking ruined the feathers!!!!!#each of the mtt have customized dusters. killer uses pressurized gas (the type of stuff you use on keyboards to get rid of dust)#because he'd be fucked up like that and wouldnt care if its dangerous (is it?? idk). he points it to dust and horror like its a weapon#i already said dusts. horror would have one of those really fancy feather dusters because he's sensitive or something#also horror needs only the highest quality of duster for himself. dust and killer don't get to use his shit#guys why is it not called MAD time trio. if bad time trio was using the youre gonna have a bad time quote#and mad time is a direct alternation of it...... then why not mad time trio......????#because it's too dust focused??? OKAY HELLO THE GROUP IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER HIM. MURDER. MUUUURRRDDDERRR TIME TRIO#get the fuck outta here mad time trio is cooler. i'll still call them murder time trio because its more unique#hahaha guys ignore the last two posts i didn't even have THAT bad of a day at school#triglycercule is just dramatic as fuck and going to school triggered something inside me or something#just the ever so slightest mental spiral but we stay🔝🔝🔝#im absolutely gonna delete those posts i can NAUGHT have people seeing me fall from grace like that#like smh i was just being dramatic ngl 🙄🙄 stfu triglycercule you didn't even need to post about it!!! you just want attention#this kind of mentality is what caused me to post that and then not post for a few days. i should probably stop#i need to stop typing out my mental dialogue of angel and devil on my shoulder i always end up insulting and apologising TO MYSELF?????#triglycercule's biggest hater is....... TRIGLYCERCULE!!!! thank you thank you i know i'm glad to be up here too#voted for all of the mtt in the sexyman polls. saw they all lost. i will not be voting at all anymore#i need to rant about this in a several post i am upset#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans
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[Cascada voice]
'Cause everything I eat gives me acid reflux
And everything I puke makes me wanna die
I can feel my heart burn fast
I don't think I'll last
GERD ruins my life
#Salem shouts into the void#I've literally gotten acid reflux and stomach pain every day for the past two weeks send help#unsanitary#I guess#I deleted the other post bc I thought the cascada parody was funnier as the main one but#I didnt buy antiacids last time I was at the pharmacy 'cause I was like 'I dont get acid reflux THAT often these days'#'I'll be fine for a few weeks'#and then. This.
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too long personal post under the cut, tw for death, ptsd, and grief
coming up on six months and symptoms of ptsd are starting to set in. i haven't slept more than a few scattered hours a night since feburary and i've been through a handful of medications that do not help.
when my mom gave birth to me, the doctors accidentally left placenta in her that gave her an infection and that's the best way i can describe how this feels. i was a caregiver to my grandmother for so long it's like that part of me is still inside but useless and it hurts. it's hurting me. it's like i don't know how to do anything else but that it's simultaneously separating itself from me and i don't know how to feel about that. she was a parent to me, she saved my life once when i was little kid, we had a complicated relationship that was very tense at times.
i've always been a worst case scenario person. like maybe i don't think the worst will actually happen, but i always plan for it and brace myself. and even though i spent the entire last month with her in the hospital taking shifts with my mom so she'd never be alone, it never once crossed my mind that she wouldn't be coming home. not once until the very end when it was inevitable. she got better and recovered and we were working with the doctors about what would happen when she was discharged until one day she got worse and then it was over in less than a week.
and everyone always says how amazing that was, how selfless, and that they could never be a caregiver. and i thought that too about caregivers before i became one. i never thought i'd be in that role. i just did it. i did the best i could and i know i could've done so many things better. but now it's like what else is there? i've grown distant to all but a few friends, i haven't been asked out on a date since my first year of college that i never went on bc i ended up moving home where i can't be out safely. i'm on a career path that i hate. all i want to do is cook a specific meal for a person who isn't alive anymore and talk to her. a colleague was very unprofessional to me friday and i sat at my desk sobbing, less about what she said but that all i waned to do was call my grandma to talk about it. i couldn't catch my breath i was so upset.
today during a team meeting our icebreaker question was what motivates us and everyone in the next role up that i'm supposed to move into was talking about their job and i just started sweating and almost cried because i realized just how much i do not want to progress in this career. i know it's important work but i just. i don't know if it's my company or just the industry but i'm so over it!!!
and i know it's never too late but as i get older i know it'll be harder, and i'm so, so tired and feeling more alone than i have in my entire life
#i will be ok! i know this! i'll probably even delete this later#i have just had a very rough past few days and needed to get it out#and one friend i do stay in touch with was like hey i don't think you realize how bad you are at talking about your feelings#she is very right so i'm trying to do better and it's easier rn to make a post on my silly little blog that i can delete#than to say any of this face to face or even out loud to another person
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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