#I’ve learned something from this
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Habits
//warning for anxiety and a bit of blood (there is comfort)
#//vent comic#team fortress spy#sniperspy#team fortress sniper#tf2#bloody suit#knife party#team fortress 2#I hate my habits so much#so bloody suit makes it better^^#things I’ve learned from having such bad anxiety and how I try to cope#sorry I will try to render something real soon haha🙏#I like to think they both have an obsession with eachothers hands^^✨#tf2 fanart
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I’ll never forget when I was arguing with a person in favor of total prison abolition and I asked them “what about violent offenders?” And they said “Well, in a world where prisons have been abolished, we’ll have leveled the playing field and everyone will have their basic needs met, and crime won’t be as much of an issue.” And then I was like “okay. But…no. Because rich people also rape and murder, so it isn’t just a poor person thing. So what will we do about that?” And I don’t think they answered me after that. I’m ashamed to say I continued to think that the problem was that I simply didn’t understand prison abolitionists enough and that their point was right in front of me, and it would click once I finally let myself understand it. It took me a long time to realize that if something is going to make sense, it needs to make sense. If you want to turn theory into Praxis (I’m using that word right don’t correct me I’ll vomit) everyone needs to be on board, which mean it all needs to click and it needs to click fast and fucking clear. You need to turn a complex idea into something both digestible and flexible enough to be expanded upon. Every time I ask a prison abolitionist what they actually intend to do about violent crime, I get directed to a summer reading list and a BreadTuber. It’s like a sleight-of-hand trick. Where’s the answer to my question. There it is. No wait, there it is. It’s under this cup. No it isn’t. “There’s theory that can explain this better than I can.” As if most theory isn’t just a collection of essays meant to be absorbed and discussed by academics, not the average skeptic. “Read this book.” And the book won’t even answer the question. The book tells you to go ask someone else. “Oh, watch this so-and-so, she totally explains it better than me.” Why can’t you explain it at all? Why did you even bring it up if you were going to point me to someone else to give me the basics that you should probably already know? Maybe I’m just one of those crazy people who thinks that some people need to be kept away from the public for everyone’s good. Maybe that just makes me insane. Maybe not believing that pervasive systemic misogyny could be solved with a UBI and a prayer circle makes me a bad guy. But it’s not like women’s safety is a priority anyway. It’s not like there is an objective claim to be made that re-releasing violent offenders or simply not locking them up is deadly.
#I’m sorry#there are just people out here who need punishment and to be contained and rehabilitation will not work#like I’m one of the more insane people who thinks that you can rehabilitate anyone if they want to change and learn from their behavior#ANYONE#but there are people out here who do not and will not ever want it#and those people shouldn’t get a pass because you read incomplete abolitionist theory once#and now you think that a UBI would solve everything#that’s the thing about most abolitionists that I’ve noticed#once you press them on the hard shit#they go#well there are some good books on the subject#there are some other creators#okay#and what have those other books and creators said?#Tee Noir once started off a video telling people not to ask her to defend her defense of prison abolition#they should just ‘Google it’ she said (or something like that)#now I don’t watch Tee Noir#gothra#feminism#social justice#prison abolition#criminal justice#prison reform#tw vomit
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I want to read books I want to write more I want to play the piano I want to sing in key I want to delve into fashion history I want to travel I want to publish research papers and I want to become a surgeon and I’m supposed to do all that in this one wild and beautiful life
#Ummm#This is why taking time off before I go to med school is the right call for me there’s sm I want to do constantly but the time!!#This lowkey sucks tho bc ever since I was little I’ve had dreams of writing something profound and being published#Both in a scientific context and also just like in a writing anything profound concept#But ik writing is very high bar and Id have to dedicate time to it and be super serious if I wanna self teach and honestly#Every day Im more and more tempted to just get a lit masters but where is the time if I want to become a doctor!!#Maybe it’ll just be a far fetched dream that I work on on the side bc physicians who’re also authors exist#I j want to contribute something meaningful to this world but to do that ik I have to consume great art first and dissect it and learn from#It#And just like not listen to ppl’s opinions and do what I want but it’s hard when I’m on a timeline#It’s bc I understand none of these vocations are anything to sneeze at and I wanna take them seriously instead of being mediocre at them#Like I truly wanna LEARN but the time management skills are gonna have to go way up#Does anyone understand me or am I having an unnecessary meltdown
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It’s not over till it’s fucking over. And it’s not over yet.
#us politics#election 2024#if I’ve learned something from competitive tetris it’s that you never know when there’s still a real chance#so it’s not over yet.
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Redraw of these two because Jackienat needs more art and I def didn’t make this to procrastinate the fic I should be writing about them
#SUPER proud of how Nat turned out#I feel like I could work on Jackie’s skin/hair tones for FOREVER#like she has these tan tones but also seems super pale in some shots and#it’s got me fucked up#also her hair style is not something I’ve tried to draw before but#I learned a lot from this drawing! so that’s good#I might rework her hair entirely at some point#we’ll see#jackienat#Yellowjackets#Jackie Taylor#Natalie Scatorccio#I just think they’re neat#one day this slow burn teammates to friends to lovers fic will be written#Nat Scatorccio#ella purnell#sophie thatcher#sophie bathsheba thatcher
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"I was laughing but at the same time I really wanted to give El a hug, I felt so bad for her"
Edelgard: Thank you for your concern but I am quite alright now.
Um, what's going on with this?
Byleth: Hey, I'm not complaining. Ever since we got together my squat game has been insane. My ass has never looked so good.
#fe3h#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#edelgard von hresvelg#byleth eisner#edeleth#byleth x edelgard#edelgard#sterge.pptx#another one from reddit#i love drawin goofy shit#speaking directly to the camera like she's on the office#feel like i'm forgetting something here. hmm. worried about it.#it's not edelgard's hair slash crown. that's MIA on purpose.#[stares at my text post from january 23rd] i already broke my promise to myself by drawing edelgard's crown again yesterday#i did not elect to do it again today. we are serving Emperor Casual#oh well.#byleth needs to learn to stop wearing heels#idk how people with a large height difference do it#i’ve been informed that f!byleth is in fact closer to 5’4 or 5’5#i don’t know how i got it in my head that she’s 5’7#but i’ve decided i don’t care anyway. we’re going by Rule of Funny
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i think a big thing people get wrong w leafpool’s character is thinking her passivity comes from like fear or insecurity or being shy or something when really it comes from like. defeat. she’s been burned so many times so now she just accepts it there’s no point in fighting back
#learned helplessness#in tnp she’s very much like a rulebreaker and kind of a little shit lol#she likes going out on her own and making friends with cats from other clans and getting involved in things cuz she’s bored#she’s rebellious and craves having deep connections with others which is why being a medicine cat starts to weight on her and makes her#impulsively decide to run away with crow#esp because she’s also watching her best friend sorreltail grow up and move on. and she’s watching her sister grow up and move on#AND SHE FEELS STUCK SHES LIKE OH. BUT THIS IS IT FOR ME ISNT IT?#so she just reacts she needs to get away!! and then everything comes crashing down and she spends the rest of her life getting punished for#that choice#which slowly crushes her fire and teaches her that her desire for something ‘more’ was never going to work out#and she’s too tired to keep fighting so she accepts that#but she’s miserable about it and this misery makes her even more exhausted#so then she just kinda ends up numb#there’s no point!#SHES SO INTERESTING TO ME AAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHH it’s been so long since i’ve rambled about leafpool….. my girl……
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Specifically thinking about long distance relationships today.
So tell me how you and your f/o would first meet online?
#I feel like Bakugou and I would meet in one of those online games he’s downloaded to mindlessly waste time between shifts#and he’s so foul at first because he thinks I’m weak but we play and he realises that I’m#actually whooping everyone and he’s like well damn okay#and now he’s messaging in the alliance chat and like getting excited when I’m online even tho he tries to hide it#and gets annoyed when other creeps in his alliance try to flirt with me#and then he’s asking for my discord#me and Sanemi get into a fight on discord the first time we interact#in some stupid big server I only joined for the emojis#but he’s a jerk so I tell him to shut up and a message later I find a msg notification and it’s him trying to continue the conversation😭#enjin slides into my dms on Instagram#he finds my post at a concert and hates the fuckboys that are commenting below#ends up messaging me to see if I’m okay but then immediately worries he’s one of those guys#Tamsy I feel like is that mutual I’ve had forever on twt and we like each others posts but we’ve NEVER talked to each other??#it’s not until I’m feeling sad at 2am and I post something self-deprecating that he drops me a msg🥺#and we end up staying up until 5am just talking to each other#Kirishima is ALWAYS the guy that responds to my ‘morning’ with a morning back! every day without fail#and I slide into his DMs one day and ask how he’s ALWAYS awake when I am??? like to say it back so quick#and he admits he’s kinda learned my schedule and he tries to be online for it because it’s one of the best parts of his day#and he likes saying it back😭😭😭 even if he’s off from a night shift and needs sleep he can’t without seeing me msg#Shindou blatantly flirts with me in a gaming discord and I think he’s an incel so I block him#he gets a friend to ping me to beg me to unblock him and I refuse#the friend then sends another message with a screenshot of Shindou basically begging me to unblock him😭#Dot and I meet in one of those AITA Reddit threads#and we end up borderline arguing over whether op is TA#so much that we get told to take it elsewhere😭😭😭#enjo#bakujo#eijo#but also catch me sending Dynamight sassy banter on his official socials😭😂
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i think we gotta be more careful about falling into the trap of placing heaps of blame on the most vulnerable groups around us because it’s easier, emotionally or otherwise, than going after those in power. like i mostly talk about transandrophobia right now and how transmascs get so much shit thrown at us because were easier to attack than cis people, and i’ve seen people do the same thing to transfems and NBs too. to me it’s extra disappointing when it’s someone who is vocally supportive of transmascs doing it (like generalizing all transfems as being hostile to transmascs/being transandrophobic). it’s of course important to talk about inter community issues and point out harmful behaviors and ideologies when we see them, and talk about how someone’s life experience might lead them to be that way, but singling out one type of trans person as The Culprit is not helpful and just feels like it further drives a wedge into our community. we may be able to perpetuate aspects of the transphobic systems cis people put in place, but none of us are responsible for them and we don’t benefit from them, past surface level “acceptance” from people who’d be more comfortable if one type of trans person or all of us didn’t exist at all
#it honestly is really hard to call out harmful behaviors a trans person might exhibit because transphobia is so rampant rn#on one side you’ve got people who will demonize a trans person for existing and on the other there’s people who refuse to believe-#-trans people can do any wrong#i think the former is Much worse but they’re both still bad#it kinda makes sense that ppl resort to black n white thinking cause it feels like there’s no middle ground#but like. it doesn’t have to be that way. we can defend ourselves while acknowledging our ability to do wrong#we’re human not perfect machines and i think being able to make and learn from mistakes without being completely socially ostracized#should be a part of trans liberation#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#transphobia#oh also i’m trying to think more carefully about saying ‘x kind of trans person experiences y’#or ‘trans people ESPECIALLY x kind of trans people experience y’#because i’ve noticed people will assume things that happen to transfems never hppen to transmascs#and i don’t want to perpetuate that kind of thinking regardless of what trans group i’m talking about#tbh i think there’s VERY FEW circumstances where you can confidently say a certain kind of person never experiences something
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I’m doing a project on Gulper Eels (aka Pelican Eels, Pelican Gulpers, or Umbrella-mouth Gulpers)
And- these fuckers don’t even look REAL-
A lot of deep sea critters, you see them and you understand Lovecraft’s fear of the ocean
But some of these guys-
LOOK AT HIM! HES SO STUPID LOOKING!
THIS IS MY IDIOT SON WHO I HATE HIS NAME IS BONGWATER AND HE HAS EVERY DISEASE!!!!!!!
#I WANT TO KICK HIM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS#LOOK AT HIM#SIR#WHERE ARE YOUR ORGANS??????#blorbo from my ocean right here#he looks like he belongs on the MUPPETS not the OCEAN#HE SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB#REVERSE ROUDOLPH OVER HERE WITH A LIGHT ON HIS TAIL#okay- I need to finish this project tho#marine biology#pelican eel#gulper eel#stupid fucking fish#deep sea#these are all photos I’m including in the project btw#she said ‘be creative’ and I took that as ‘insult the fucking fish’#so I’ve got an entire slide just calling him an ugly stupid idiot eel#not really but kinda#you see how he looks like we shouldn’t have done that?#you see how he’s gods least favorite creature?#he looks like a cat toy#if I learn he’s endangered I will sob#PROTECT MY STUPID IDIOT BOY#JUSTIVE FOR UGLY FISHY FUCKS!#robin rambles#finally something not about bsd#what else to tag…#deep sea fish#what zone is he in?#mesopelagic zone
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No one tells you how hard it is to stay in character when writing sometimes. These two…they’ve got me like this 🤏
But it’s okay. I’m hungry for more Emilute content so I have to pick up the pen and do it myself even if it’ll be majority angst with sprinkles of fluff.
.
Writing my Redemption!Lute Au has been on my to-do list since the episode Welcome to Heaven so I’m praying I can finally make this happen and I hope that I don’t succumb to the perfectionist inside of me because I do think having Lute redeem herself is an interesting angle that I doubt the canon would ever follow.
Also it’s an excuse to make a slow burn Emilute fic and I’d eat dirt for any Emilute content.
#no but I do have a serious vision for these two and I need to realize it I’ve never yearned to create something more#like imagining Lute returning to Heaven and whilst given a few days to recuperate is put on trial for her crimes since we’ve now learned#that sinners can be redeemed and the realization from Sera that they’ve been killing people who always had a chance to be saved#that plus her breaking the contract of not killing hellborns so yk that too#and Emily is a part of this and inspired by what Charlie has done jumps in to not necessarily defend Lute but provide an alternative#solution that doesn’t involve sending her down to Hell which she believes wouldn’t help anyone#I dunno I’m rambling lol#hazbin hotel#emily hazbin hotel#lute hazbin hotel#Emilute#˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*Crystal Talks
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Something was bothering me about my Torbek art, but I couldn’t put my finger on it for the longest time, until now, where I realized I had forgotten to do the fucking lighting I wanted to do. So I did it. It looks infinitely better now (art below)
OG for comparison
Dark layer (helps make eyes and canisters pop out) 10% opacity, canister glow 20% opacity
Dark layer 30% opacity, canister glow 20% opacity
Dark layer 50% opacity, canister glow 30% opacity
I actually really like the last version. It kinda gives me the vibe of if you were to walk into a dark room in the middle of the night, and all you can see is the glow of Torbek’s eyes and the Witchlight in his canisters.
Also, it’s subtle, but if you look closely, you’ll see the pink light on his coat as well. It’s easiest to see on the last one, because of the higher opacity. :)
#also I do the dark layer thing for most of my art#especially if I want the eyes or something in particular to give the illusion of glowing#or if I want them to otherwise pop out#I don’t remember where I learned that technique from#but I’ve been doing it for years now lmao#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#torbek#my art#torbek fanart
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2014 - realized I liked girls but began desperately trying to “pray the gay away”
2016 - stopped believing in Christianity as I began to better accept my sexuality
2020 - publicly came out as bisexual, and shortly after my gender crisis began
2021 - nonbinary ? we’ll run with it, I’m experimenting! I’m playing with it! I’ve been in college for a year so now I have the room to try some things out!
2023 - my first pride parade! and the gender crisis continues on…. I would really love more masculine features… a deeper voice is my dream… I see men with flat chests and I get so envious. maybe I’m trans?
2024 - FINALLY allowing myself to use multiple labels that feel right! nonbinary, transmasc, genderfluid, genderqueer, they all feel like ME! planning on starting HRT after I get married and get onto my fiancé’s health insurance. plan on getting married in a wedding dress because THAT’S WHAT I WANT! because gender is not a strict binary and I am allowed to play with it however I want! my gender is not for the pleasure or comfort of anyone else! I got to experience my SECOND pride finally feeling content with myself and my identity! I’m happy! I’m so happy :)
#the journey of finding yourself is a long process and honestly it never ends#I’ve been in the journey of self discovery for a decade now and I’m still learning something new about myself every day#but I finally feel like I know myself#I have a good community of understanding people#and you know what? tumblr really helped!#make fun of this hellsite all you want but the people on here are so helpful#getting reminders from a wide community of people that you don’t need to fit into strict labels#or you can use multiple labels!#or none at all!#just do whatever feels right to YOU#there is no wrong way to be queer!#I love you tumblr queers#even when I had my first blog in 2014 when I was 12 it felt nice to have a space that made me feel like I was gonna be okay#thank you tumblr queers#trans#lgbtq#ftm#trans man#transgender#transgender man#transmasc#trans pride#donnieisaprettyboy#ftm problems#genderfluid#genderqueer#nonbinary
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lieutenant, i fear i love too hard. it all hurts. what should i do?
Love can be a… complicated thing, citizen, so while I’m not a “love guru”, I will do my best. It’s not something you can jump into easily without consequences, and that’s apparent tenfold when it comes to falling out of it. Loving too hard especially is something that many people experience, and it’s just the same as all things about love, you need to find someone who will love you just as hard, otherwise there will always be that feeling that, even if they do truly love you, that there are not “putting as much effort it” when in reality it is just them having a different way of loving than you. I know it might hurt right now, but the pain is temporary, like all pains are; one day you’ll stop hurting, and I hope that day comes when you find someone that can make you feel like you’re loving just the right amount. I hope you feel better soon, citizen.
#(OOC - I am asexual and I’ve learned from talking to many people throughout the years that it’s something that you need to think about#no matter how hard it is#and truly evaluate how you feel. Will you feel this way forever? Will you still love them a year from now? You have to use your head#despite how loud your heart may be#and do your best to remember that if you’re looking for someone eventually you will find the right person. Kim Kitsuragi is here for you#until that day comes. You can do this.)#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium
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Free Rope MF
Rope MF is in the Kirby games, not clickbait?!?
Portrait and not dialogue:
Rope MF info-dumping about ropes (you can’t escape):
ONE LAST THING!
Thanks you guys for existing and deciding to follow for some reason!
Don’t worry I’ll make a more official thank you post later
Spoilers: Y’all gonna be hit with the neutral energy beam
Here’s the to sites I stole the rope information from:
Other site
#kirby#kirby oc#waddle dee oc#waddle dee#rope MF#Stupid brainrot for my stupid Kirby OC#He’s so stupid#I love him#Someone save them from Rope MF info-dumping#Nobody wants to learn about ropes#There’s actually a font called Rope MF which is great#Also aro week started off with a bang! I went to church and almost passed out?!? Idk#It was crazy my legs were weak and my heart was pounding and I first thought “huh is this a panic attack?”#It wasn’t a panic attack because all of a sudden my ears started ringing my head started pounding and my vision was going black#I could literally not stand it was crazy but I didn’t want to pass out in church because that would be lame so I just stayed until church#was over and then I fell asleep and woke up with a cold and my jaw was hurting through out the whole thing#This was yesterday todays pretty good#From what I’ve research it either means I have a migraine or needed to be rushed to the hospital one day ago#Like I said idk#Sorry for the ramble yesterday was just definitely something alright#Also sincerely thank you so much for (Wizard) 101 followers that’s crazy I’m baffled I’m bamboozled I’m flabbergasted#whispy woods
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In my au Stanley (narrow gauge) has a special interest in insects (I hc him as being into animals, they don’t judge you for your “jinx” and he’s got a soft spot for critters that are seen as “bad luck”) and tends to blurt out the most detailed information, he often info-dumps with and to Nia who encourages it cause it makes him happy once he’s freed from his “jinx” and she know every single insect name alphabetically along with their scientific names and nicknames Here we have Duke immediately regretting asking them if they can name every single species and ends up sleeping when they’re engrossed in their conversation before leaving when they were in the mid section of the e category (Nia gave him “the disappointment older sister look” awhile back so the poor guy can trapped there and wondered how did he got ever himself into this situation)
Basically it’s just Stanley to Duke in alphabetical order: Alderflies Angel Insects Anoplura (Sucking lice) Ants Antlions Aphids Archeognatha (Bristletails) Barklice Bees Beetles Bird lice Biting lice Blattodea (Cockroaches) Booklice Bristletails Bugs Butterflies Caddisflies Chewing lice Cicadas Cockroaches Coleoptera (Beetles) Collembola (Springtails) Crickets Damselflies Diplura Diptera (Flies) Dobsonflies Dragonflies-
Nia joining in cause she was mad at Duke: ah yes the alderfly which are megalopteran insects of the family Sialidae. They are closely related to the dobsonflies and fishflies as well as to the prehistoric Euchauliodidae. All living alderflies – about 66 species all together are part of the subfamily Sialinae, which contains nine extant genera. Sialinae have a body length of less than 25 mm (1 inch), long filamentous antennae, and four large dark wings of which the anterior pair is slightly longer than the posterior. They lack ocelli and their fourth tarsal segment is dilated and deeply bilobed. Dead alderfly larvae are used as bait in fishing-
duke:shooketh (Nia’s is basically the train version of a encyclopedia also her design is based off of MrTerrier673 on Twitter)
#ttte#ttte duke#ttte stanley#ttte nia#msr stanley#rws stanley#duke the lost engine#my art#my artwork#my art <3#my art stuff#yeah I’ve traced their basis Nia is a ngr class 1906 she participated in the war in South Africa 🇿🇦 and the East African campaign#and Freddie was there they’re pretty much older siblings/cool aunt-uncle figures to Stanley cause they all went through a lot pre-msr days#but yeah Nia be a encouraging big sister and joining in I got so much on them I need to put in haha but poor duke someone save him he doesn#wanna end up like Andreas and Duncan who both really wished they could forget about learning about hammerhead wormsXD#but yeah Nia recognizing that this is something that makes Stanley happy he’s healing (Kyle’s death their old railway etc) and knows these#hobbies that made him happy were mocked and putted down and literally beaten out of him and as an fellow animal lover she’s very supportive#Also Stan my guy please get some sleep he’s got insomnia and nightmares from Kyle’s death (I mean both do along with Freddie) Nia is 10 yea#rs older than him but at least they’re both reunited on the skarloey after some years she’s very big cool sister/chill aunt coded figure an#knows that this is Stanley;s way of showing he trusts someone but then again out of all his colleagues stuart got off lucky he only infodum#on him about monarch butterflies 🦋 and ladybugs 🐞 XD Freddie and Bertram/atlas r torn
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