#I’ve been able to have him all to myself

[lunajay33]

Wrong Outcome

•🖤🦇🪻•

Summary: You’ve been with Cassian since well forever, being Rhysands sister you met him young and have been inseparable, you find out you’re pregnant but he chooses Nesta, but when you dissapear he realizes he made a mistake

Pairing: Cassian x f!reader

•Masterlist•

Everything was exactly how I wanted it, my brother was finally home, my two bestfriends, Azriel and Mor, and the man I’ve always loved, he treated me like I was the center of his world but then things changed, Feyre came along and then shortly after her sisters and suddenly Nesta was all Cas cared about

He slowly stopped staying with me at night, started missing out every Saturday dates that we’ve had since well forever, and now I can barely get a word out of him without his attention being completely on her and what’s worse is that she’s so cruel to me

I sighed waking up in my empty bed that use to be warmed by Cassian, I’m wearing an over sized shirt and my hair is raggedy and my face swollen and blotchy from crying, I drag myself to Rhysands office where he’d be early in the mornings

I slumped down in the chair across from him biting nervously on my lip

“Woah sis you’re not looking so good” he said putting his work aside and coming to sit next to me

“Why does he love her so much but not me, did I do something, what does she have that I don’t” I sigh as the tears continue to stream

“Oh my little star it’s not you he’s just a block head, he’ll realize what he’s missing” he said pushing my head back

“But I don’t want him to realize I’m the one after he’s tried out with someone else, he barely even looks at me anymore”

“I wish I could take your pain away”

“Why can’t I have a love like yours and Feyres”

Before he could answer I got up and dragged myself back through the living room on my way to the kitchen seeing Nesta and Cassian sat on the couch a little too close

“Looking a little pudgy lately don’t you think” Nesta laughed and she pointed at my belly, I’ve only recently noticed but I’ve barely eaten enough to gain that much weight, I wrap my arms around my self noticing Azriel come up behind me and lead me to his room

“It’s like living with an evil spirit” he groans as he sets me down on his bed

“Can you take me away, just drop me off at the family cabin or anywhere I just…….i can’t be here anymore Az……please” he nods reassuringly

I pack a bag and load up some food for my time away before he wishes me away

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here?” He asks gently squeezing my arms

“Maybe just check up on me once in a while, just don’t tell the others except Rhys okay”

“Okay”

•

The days dragged on into weeks into months and quickly I found out in pregnant, it was heart breaking at first realizing the man of my dreams doesn’t even want me anymore let alone a baby, but after some talking with Azriel I realized it was a gift, to be able to have a little bundle of joy and he’d be there for me every step of the way

As I got closer to my due date Azriel convinced me to come home so I wasn’t alone during birth, I hear a knock at the door and it Azriel as I open the door

“Ready to come home Angel?”

“As long as you’re by my side” I smile as I thread my arm through his

We were back in the family home and my heart started picking up

“I’m nervous” I whisper as I turn into Az

“It’ll be okay” we walk into the living room where everyone is and they all turn to us, ending all conversation

“My little star you’re…….youre pregnant?” Rhys asks as he shoots up from his chair and comes over rubbing my belly

I nod knowing how excited he’d be it killed me to keep it a secret from him

Azriel and I sat down at the dining table seeing how everyone had so many questions

“Where have you been?” Mor breaks the silence

“I needed to get away” I glance over at Cassian and Nesta

“Is it Azriels?” Cassian asks worry written all over his face, sometimes I wish it was Azriel with how well he treats me

“No” I say squeezing his hand under the table

“Then who’s?” Elain speaks up

“It doesn’t matter anymore”

The room fell silent

“It’s mine isn’t it” Cassian sighed looking like a lost puppy

I silently nodded looking down at my lap, I hear the chair screech back heavy footsteps walking my way before I’m pulled up and being dragged away

“What are you doing you can’t just ignore me when Nesta comes along and think you can just push me around now” I groan as I push him away when we get far enough away from the living room

“Listen please, I’m sorry I didn’t treat you right, it’s just I felt something when I was with her but then I realized it was only because that reserved part of her reminded me of you when Rhys first introduced us, and that I’ve been ignore you and then you were gone and I felt it in my chest…..you’re my mate” his words took my breath away

“Really? You’re not lying to me”

“Of course not, I love you and I made a mistake please give me another chance” he was practically begging now

“Okay but….youre going to have to make it up to me, I’m talking about a lot of sweets”

“Anything I’ll always do anything for you”

•

It’s been a month since I came back and a few days after I gave birth to the cutest little girl she had purple eyes and dark brown hair with tiny wings and Cassian has been doing alot of reperations and got quite a talking from Azriel and Rhys but I’m just glad things are back to how I always imagined

[jamieroyjamieroy]

Unfortunately I don’t have the means to donate right now but I would like to express how much this fandom has meant to me.

I’ve suffered the worst major depressive episode ever this year. I won’t go into specifics but I’ve never been so close to not being here in over 20 years of chronic depression.

I had to quit my job because I was not able to care for myself while doing it. My physical health was suffering as well.

The joy that 911 brought me when Tommy Kinard came back was the one small ember of light in my darkness. It sounds stupid but waiting to see him next gave me a reason to look forward to another week. Because yes I have family that I love but when you hide how bad you are suffering because you are supposed to look after them and because you don’t want to be a burden it’s incredibly isolating.

I connected with Buck’s story line of discovering your bisexuality. I connected with Tommy in not coming out (him for a long time, me probably ever). I connected with people on here because of our shared love of the characters and relationship. I have no one in my real life who understands why I am obsessed with these characters.

I was encouraged to write, something I believed I could never do (honestly I’m still not sure it’s any good) and I found myself excited to write. Excited to do something that wasn’t laying in the dark and crying because I feel broken and worthless. (I’m not fixed by any means but to have something hold my interest is a positive sign)

I now look forward to going outside in the sunshine and walking because I plan my stories, I have dedicated uninterrupted time where there are no expectations of me.

This is probably a ramble and I’m sure no one really cares to read it all but this fictional relationship and the community I have found on here and ao3 because of the support on here means more to me than I can ever say.

Thanks to anyone who has read this far, thanks to anyone who has liked, reblogged, commented or encouraged me. Thanks for accepting me as I am! 💜💜💜

[joudama]

And that’s that for Veilguard. Got all the achievements and got the four main possible endings (didn’t bother with the bad ending where you do none of the side quests, everyone dies, and you end up trapped in the Fade forever with Solas).

My four Rooks:

Female Shadow Dragon elf mage - saved Minrathous - romanced Harding - punched Solas in the face

Female Antivan Crow human rogue - saved Treviso - romanced Lucanis - tricked Solas into using the fake dagger

Male Grey Warden dwarf warrior (this was originally going be a Qunari, but I couldn’t get over the yassified look of all the qunari I tried to make and I gave up) - saved Treviso - romanced Davrin (meant to romance Bellara and lol welp, that didn’t happen) - big softie who sent Solas into the Fade with the Inquisitor

Male Mourn Watch elf mage - saved Minrathous - romanced Emmrich (meant to romance Bellara or Neve and lol welp, that didn’t happen) - told the Inquisitor she could do better and made Solas go off into the Fade alone.

My Mourn Watch one is probably going to be my “canon” run, since I liked it the best (that’s not saying much) of my runs. I went with a life leeching run for him, including using the unique items that made health potions/companion heals not work, and beefed up leeching. Literally the only time I died was when my controller ran out of juice in the middle of a dragon fight. The Elgar’nan fight was over so fast I was like, “Wait, is that it?” It was like the curb stomp fight in Inquisition with Corypheus before they let you have enemies scale up with you.

And now for my thoughts. And oh boy, do I have a lot of them. Hoo.

I have…so many issues with this game. It is a very good…whatever the gaming equivalent of a popcorn flick is. It’s great if you go in with your brain turned off and enjoy all the shiny. But that’s not what I want in a Dragon Age game. I’ve been replaying DA2 - the game that DATV is basically trying to channel - while playing these, and the difference in writing quality and intricacy of plot and world building could not be more sharp. The first time I played DATV, I thought it was fine. Almost aggressively fine. I had fun with streaming the game and seeing where it went. I loved the reveals with the wolf statues. I had some major issues with the writing being as subtle as a brick to the face at times (more on my thoughts about the dialogue LATER, because oh boy), but it was serviceable. And I genuinely thought Veilguard had been robbed by not being nominated for Art Direction at the Game Awards, because say what you will, the areas are fucking gorgeous. But, even then, I was like, “Yeah, this would not have deserved a GOTY nomination had it gotten one,” and placed it at a 7 or 8 out of 10. A good enough, enjoyable game that ran well, but was not by any means GOTY material.

Then I made the mistake of playing it again, and the cracks began to show. By the time I hit the middle of Act 2 of my third run, I was just so done. I hated every time certain companions had anything to say at all. I hated that you couldn’t call people out for being a jerk but had to be the supportive nursery school teacher at all times to them. And for the first time playing any BioWare game at all, I found myself wishing I could either not recruit certain people or kick them out of camp. The cracks were beyond showing at that point, and I no longer thought the writing was even “serviceable.” Things that hadn’t seemed so bad on that first popcorn flick run suddenly became a problem - not being able to actually talk to your companions to get to know them went from “it feels more natural to have them saying this stuff while out in the field” to “what is even the point of going around the Lighthouse if all it gets me is a line spoken at me or overhearing bits of them having ACTUAL conversations?” It legitimately hurt replayability. I missed being able to actually talk to my companions, and I realized I cared more about Manfred and Assan than most of my companions because Manfred and Assan actually seemed to like interacting with me. I will take Manfred’s rock-paper-scissors game over a “hey Rook” and dead-eyed stare.

By the time I hit late act 2, I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could delete the damn game off my hard drive…only for the last achievement I had yet to get to NOT pop when I finished the game. I looked it up and discovered it wasn’t set by triggering a certain end state, but was tied to picking some flowers in Act 2, and wanted to cry. I don’t usually 100% games, especially if I feel like some of the achievements are bullshit I don’t want to do (‘sup, MELE needing you to do some Armax Arena Spectre-level fight - I would sooner chew off my own arm than do that, as anyone who watched me stream Veilguard would have guessed watching me kvetching the whole time I was doing that Hall of Valor shit), but that was just frustrating. I decided to try to get it on a fresh run as a Mourn Watcher, since I’d heard that was one of the surprisingly good faction backgrounds, and that was a good choice. Mourn Watch became my favorite faction, when it had been Shadow Dragons until then. It added so much to a lot more conversations than I would have thought, and made it so I actually enjoyed the sadly few times you get to actually have conversations instead of eavesdropping/being talked at. I’m glad I decided to slog through one more time for that achievement, because if I’d ended it on that third run, I know I would have never played it again. It turned back into a popcorn movie again, aided by me knowing when to put on a YouTube video and watch or scroll through Bluesky instead of listening to a certain character be the fucking worst. If I ever play again, it’ll be a Mourn Watcher (I already know the Veil Jumpers and Lords of Fortune are considered, shall we say, lackluster background factions.)

Which brings me to some of the big, fundamental problems this game had.

This is not a CRPG. It’s just not. It’s an action RPG now, with the focus on “action” not “RPG.” It’s part of the whole Mass Effect-ification of Dragon Age. And I say this as a huge Mass Effect fan:

Dragon Age should not be like Mass Effect. And vice versa.

When Andromeda came out, they decided to ditch the Paragon/Renegade system, and instead went for DAI-style emotion-based options. Which seems great! More speech choices to make a more nuanced Ryder instead of picking up or down! Great! Only no! A lot of people hated it because it didn’t feel like Mass Effect. They had taken away something that had seemed like a major part of how you roll played in the series, and replaced it something very different. It was the first time they took a mechanic from one game and ported it into another, and it didn’t really go over well with a lot of ME fans because it didn’t feel like a Mass Effect mechanic.

And now with Veilguard, they basically made a Mass Effect game with a Dragon Age skin on it. And it just doesn’t work.

Combat: They copied the combat wheel from Mass Effect, but did it kind of badly. I honestly hated it because I tried to play like I do in Mass Effect - pull it up, use it to look around and get a handle on my environment, then pick an enemy or a safe space to bolt to - and the camera snapping the enemies meant I couldn’t. It drove me crazy because it was like the Mass Effect wheel but fundamentally not, and the camera drove me mad because I’d pull it up trying to find where the nearest blight boil was, and it would snap on enemies instead of just letting me look. It’s like they wanted to get rid of every little bit of tactical game play and replace with smashy smashy bang bang instead. Don’t think, don’t plan, just attack…which fits in with the popcorn flick-ness of DATV. Don’t think, just do. Turn your brain off and look at the particle effects.

Another Mass Effect-ification with regards to combat is dropping from taking 3 companions to 2. Which you need to do to have that Mass Effect style combat wheel, and the Mass Effect 3/Andromeda style primer/detonation style interaction of companion powers. Detonations were very satisfying, but not very Dragon Age-y, and requires throwing out some of that DA lore to make it work, because now everyone uses magic-based abilities even if they aren’t mages. Assan attacks deal fire damage. You can spec a warrior who calls up a giant lightning hammer to twirl around, and…how? That’s not enchantment, that’s plain ol’ magic, and how?! Warriors didn’t deal magic-based attacks unless their weapons where enchanted before, but now, everyone is just tossing magic attacks at everything. That’s not how the world of Thedas has worked until now, but you can’t have those flashy explosions or particle effects otherwise, so shhh, turn off your brain and don’t think, shhh. Look at the screen light up and the pretty lights. It worked in Mass Effect because they had already set up tech and biotic attacks, but there’s no way to make hitting something hard with a sword cause it to blow up and damage all the other baddies around them, so now everyone has magic. OK.

As an aside, it was also a really bad idea of get rid of how aggro worked. Dragon Age had always worked by warriors drawing aggro because they had the heavier armor (or could use taunt on enemies targeting squishy mages or rogues). Rogues had lower aggro because they had lighter armor, and could sneak. Mages had even lower aggro because they had the lightest armor and were distance fighters. DATV threw that out the window, and Rook draws all aggro because they are the only ones with a health bar. Your squad is immortal in fights, which means there’s no reason for enemies to ever target them. Which means god help you early game when mages and rogues have no real skills yet. Enjoy dodging while your companions hit the enemies with what seems like attacks as powerful as spitballs. It also means that there are times what the game tells you and the fight you just did are completely at odds. Remember that fight with the Wrath of the Stone in Harding’s companion quest? That thing is on your ass the entire time, but then at the end of it, Rook says something along the lines of “It really hates Harding,” and…are you gaslighting me, game? That thing ignored Harding the whole damn time in favor of trying to stomp me like a cockroach. Harding did not exist to it during my fight. It had a hate boner for Rook and Rook alone, no matter what the game tried to insist on after.

Now, imagine how that would have felt if Harding actually could have been killed/knocked out during the fight, and it was only going after her? What if you couldn’t damage it if it took her down, so you had to make sure she stayed alive? Imagine how different that fight would have hit then? But no, that would mean the devs have to think about how to rez characters and how healing would work, and would mean players have to be tactical, and shh, no, no more of that, no thinking, just dodge and hit things and look at the particle effects. Shh. Have some more popcorn.

Story: DATV wants so badly to be ME2. It wants to recall the companion loyalty quests and the big suicide mission where you have to have everyone ready or you’ll all die. But you can’t copy what you did before and get the same flowers and results. You just can’t. You can try, and all you’ll get is diminishing returns. They tried to do the big cosmic horror of ME1, complete with a Virmire choice, then have the big final stakes of ME2, and no. You can’t follow a template and get the same greatness. That’s not how it works.

And speaking of following templates…

Romances: The romances in Veilguard are just dismal. And I think it’s because they decided to follow the Mass Effect pacing formula instead of the Dragon Age one.

Dragon Age: You start flirting in Act 1. You usually flirt with everyone because hey, why not? Some time in Act 2, things start getting serious, and you have to settle on who you want to go for. Things start to get serious, you get together, and then you get happy fun adult time with your new LI. You get the option to break it off or commit to them fully. By Act 3, you’re in a committed relationship. People comment about it. You can go to them and spend time with them - nothing major, maybe just a kiss. There might also be a special scene that’s just with them and unique to the romance. And by the end, after the lengthy amount of time that’s passed, you are Together.

Mass Effect: You start flirting in Act 1. You usually flirt with everyone because hey, why not? In Act 2, you keep on flirting with everyone. By the end, you might have to make a choice if you’re flirting too hard with everyone and the two LI options tell you to pick someone already, but you’re just picking who you’re interested in. Early in Act 3, there might be an almost kiss, but it’s mostly just the occasional anticipation of eventually boning and nothing really happens until right before the final big fight, when your LI shows up to your cabin for “oh shit, we might die in a few hours, so let’s go out with a high note” happy fun adult time. The only time you get that “committed relationship” vibes is in ME3 if you’re romanced the same character for at least one other game, and you choose to continue the relationship.

The Mass Effect pacing works in the Mass Effect trilogy because each game is only 20-40 hours long. Veilguard is a good 80 hours long. That means using that same amount of romance you use in ME is going to mean you’ve got too little butter to spread over too much bread. It’s why you have a good start for the romances in Act 1, then act 2 is a such a desert of nothing after you commit that I genuinely wondered if I’d hit the wrong option at said no at several points during the very long third act. There’s not just enough content for that long of an Act 2. Near the end everyone starts commenting on you being with them, but it’s not actually happening in the game. There’s no flirting, there are no extra scenes, and even the scene when you commit to them is based on a scene that happens with everyone, just with a romance option tacked on. The only person (of the ones I romanced, so I can’t speak to the others) who really get unique scenes was Emmerich. He actually takes you out on a unique date. It helped a lot to make Emmerich’s romance feel more fleshed out than the others. And Davrin had so many little jaunts out in the woods that those turned into romantic trips out, which added a lot to his. But Lucanis’ and Hardings? With both of them, like I said before, I genuinely wondered if I had accidentally opted out. Their romances most used the Mass Effect format, and it just doesn’t work for a game this long. BioWare knew that once, long ago, because Andromeda did not use the ME trilogy format for romances and was closer to one they used in DA. But DATV is trying to be ME2, so they used ME2’s very thin romances as a guide.

And we can all see how well that turned out.

The Executors: Fuck me, they feel like Cerberus reskinned, and I absolutely hated when Mass Effect shifted from sci-fi/Lovecraftian horror to space opera with Cerberus as the main bad guys you have to fight with the Reapers functionally falling to the background. The Executors are a secret, shadowy organization pulling strings from behind the scenes like the Shadow Broker codexes in ME2 retconned Cerberus into having been doing in ME. Ugh.

The Andromeda-ification of dialogue: Remember Peebee? Remember how she talked? Give her long hair and pointy ears, and she’s Bellara. Down even to the techno-babble. It’s like they’re trying to change magic to just “sufficiently advanced technology.” Everyone speaks in that modern, quippy style that was annoying in a game set hundreds of years in the future because it felt dated by the time the game came out (Ryder makes a Frozen joke, y’all). And it feels completely out of place in a game set in an early modern setting (I don’t think DA is medieval, honestly - it’s more a pre-industrialization/early scientific revoltution setting, so more 1500-1700s, and I’m gonna stop now). It was jarring. You can only let one quirky character break the rules about how people talk (Alistair in DAO, Varric in DA2, Cole in DAI) but when everyone does, it’s jarring. You can be anachronistic, but you have to know what you’re doing and how to do it when you do, and I’m sorry, but the current crop of BioWare writers don’t. They wrote the dialogue like it was a modern day YA novel, not a Dragon Age game. It would have been fine for a modern day urban fantasy game. It was not fine for a DA game set in the same time period as people using the four humours for “modern” medicine (remember the surgeon in DAI? Talked about the four humours? Yeah.)

OK, I did not intend to go on for this long, and I haven’t even gotten to what the game did to how religion is handled or the sociopolitical aspects of Thedas, and how they threw out so much that made Dragon Age unique in their urge to do a soft reboot, so I’m just going to end it here. I wanted to love this game, and I can only do that if I turn my brain off, and that’s not what Dragon Age should be.

[celli-ohs]

hubba hubba!

part two of accidentally in love! series frat boy!yeonjun x stubborn!reader; college!au, one-sided love to lovers! comedy/crack, fluff, angst, smut

ATTENTION: reply/comment for taglist!

19. CODE CYAN ‼️‼️(written portion 950)

This was Yeonjun’s 15th call in the last hour. After receiving your reality check from your friends, you quietly hide in your bedroom, locking the door. You decided to be an adult and do this alone. You see his name flash on your screen, paired with a funny photo of the man you’d captured a few weeks ago. Yeonjun was sticking out his ass (which you found he did quite often, he definitely was an ass guy, seeing as he quite literally kissed yours last night) for all to see. You loved that photo because it captured him perfectly: a silly and loving young man. Finally, after the fourth ring, you pick up. “Hello?” You mumble, holding your breath. There’s silence. “Y-Y/n?” Yeonjun suddenly croaks. His voice is coarse, he sounds as if he’s been crying. You suddenly feel even more horrible. This was worse than you thought.

“I never thought you were going to pick up,” Yeonjun admits, hiccuping. You wince, he sounds so miserable. “I just needed a moment.” You sigh. “I’m so sorry.” He suddenly apologizes. “I promise I never meant to hurt you, I didn’t leave you on purpose! I went to get my phone- I left it last night and I thought you’d like breakfast too so I went-“ As Yeonjun begins to ramble, you begin to realize the mistake you’d made. Someone as genuine and trusting as Yeonjun didn’t deserve someone like you: insecure, immature, and selfish. “I really do love you.” Yeonjun’s words suddenly grab your attention again. “I’ve never meant that towards anyone but you.” You’re silent as the weight of his words settles in. 

“Please say something.” He begs. You release a sigh. “I don’t think you know what you’re saying, Yeonjun. I just- Why me? Of all the people in the world who would jump at the opportunity to be with you, you love me? I’ve shown you time and time again that I’m not worth it.” You’re clenching so hard that, you can feel the sting on your nails pinching your skin. “How could you even say that?” He sounds shocked, almost angry at you. “Y/n you’re the most admirable person I’ve ever known.” Yeonjun’s words hit you like a truck. “I’ve seen you spend the unnecessary extra time and care for the littlest of details on every project we’ve done. You pour your heart and soul into your work, your friends, anything you love!” He points out. “When something gets in your way, you challenge it and give it your all. You have so much passion for everything in life that you will always fight. I want to be able to do that myself. Being with you gives me the courage to.”

“I love you Y/n, all of you. Even the sides you feel aren’t worth my while.” You sit on your bed, tears dripping down your face as you silently cry. God, why was he still so nice, after all the crap you put him through the last 24 hours? Even before that honestly. “Goddamnit.” You suddenly laugh, wiping your tears. “Huh?” Yeonjun is dumbfounded. “I think I’ve loved you even before I could understand what love really is.” You say with a tearful smile. Yeonjun finally laughs, the both of you chuckling through the line. “I’m sorry for what I did. I should have just waited. I know you’d never hurt me intentionally. My insecurities got the best of me.” You admit with a sigh. “I forgive you. Your reaction is understandable. I mean, I wasn’t the best guy before I met you.” Yeonjun says sheepishly. You laugh it off.

“I should probably let you know that I did write a note for you, but Beomgyu thought it was trash and he threw it out,” Yeonjun explains, and you laugh again. You can already imagine the other man stumbling upon a note and nonchalantly tossing it in the trash can. “Yeonjun,” You hum. “Yeah?” He asks. “I want to see you.” You say. You can hear him smile through the phone. “Well not to be a stalker but I’ve kinda been parked outside your apartment for the last 10 minutes because if you didn’t answer that last call I was gonna try and knock on your door.” He confesses, you feign a gasp of shock as you quickly run out of your room. You’re surprised to see your friends have already arrived and are patiently waiting for you in the living room. 

You give them a quick wave before slipping into your Crocs and dashing out the front door. “Your Plan B-“ “Your Cheesy Gordita Crunch!” Jay’s shout overpowers Sunghoon’s, but you don’t even turn around though as you hang up your call to run into the arms of your man. Your lips crash onto Yeonjun and the two of you reunite. He pulls you in as if he’s starving for you. When you two finally pull apart, you’re both breathless. “Yeonjun I-“ “I love you. I’ll say it again and again, no matter how many times it takes for me to convince you that you’re worth it. I love you Y/n.” He grins. You cup his face and kiss him once more. “I love you too, so much I go crazy for you.” You giggle, letting him pepper your face with kisses. “Come on.” You tug him back towards your apartment. “Want some Taco Bell?” Yeonjun scoffs at you. “Who do you think I am?” You roll your eyes playfully. “Well, I hope you’re my boyfriend.” You joke. “Oh please,” He chortles. “Baby girl, in my mind we’re already married with kids.”

Bonus:

Code cyan is for when a pet is injured/dead, Heeseung was thinking of code chartreuse which is used for breakups in the gc

Jay didn't actually ditch his mom, but he did have to cut their mother-son brunch date short

Jake fled church so fast, that his pastor thought Layla was a human being

he got pulled over for going 50 in a 25 zone he was STRESSED

lol I've decided yujin is dating lee youngji heehee

had to humble Y/n this chapter she a lil dumb but its okay we still love her!!

one more chapter before hubba hubba ends!! ahh!! 🙈🙈

previous | next

hubba hubba! masterlist

taglist (open): @justandloyal2961 @hoonatic @emosakumas @ancnymcnzjy @gomdoleemyson @yamsinthetaso @2ynjns

[aviiarie]

“𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐆𝐎 𝐅𝐀𝐑.” — feat. oikawa tooru.

synopsis. the night before he leaves for argentina, tooru visits you one last time.

✦ contents. title is from 'you're gonna go far' by noah kahan. platonic. reader + oikawa are best friends. gn!reader. angst, but with a hopeful ending. 1.8k words.

✦ notes. making my haikyuu debut with angst <3 this one is kinda bittersweet ngl, i made myself sad writing it.

You don’t need to open the door to know whose hand is knocking. 

Two quick raps, a half-second pause, and one more for good measure. He has knocked on your door the exact same way, ever since you were in elementary school and he was begging you to come play volleyball. Over the years, that even rhythm would sound every single morning, right before you rushed out of the house to walk together to class.

He’s no stranger to your home. If he wanted, he could fish out the spare key under the doormat and enter as he pleased, without so much as a second glance from your parents. With the amount of time he spent with you growing up, it was as if he was another member of the family; just a typical annoying brother, who happened to live a few houses down.

But it had been a whole two weeks since you’d seen, or even spoke to him. His presence was that of a stranger, an unfamiliar guest, a distant relative. He could only knock, and hope you weren’t still upset enough to ignore him completely.

The traces of anger still linger in your chest, but you turn the handle anyway to find him shivering on your porch, clothes soaked from the rain.

He’s grown a lot from that snot-nosed child who showed up at your door every second weekend. He is taller, for starters, and his body has filled out with muscle. The baby fat in his cheeks was chipped away, leaving him with that perfectly sculpted face that had his classmates fawning over him. A charming smile and a wink from his soft, sparkling eyes would have anyone going mad.

Yet those eyes, the ones that would melt the heart of his fangirls, were nowhere to be seen. Instead, they looked red and puffy, like he’d been crying before he arrived.

He never cried, not unless it was something serious.

“Can we talk?” Tooru asks, his voice oddly quiet. Maybe it’s the rare vulnerability in his eyes, or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve never really been able to refuse him, but you step aside to let him in without a second thought.

Wordlessly, he takes his place on your couch, as you fetch him a towel to dry his clothes, and poured two glasses of water. Each action is taken in complete silence, other than the opening and closing of cupboards and clinking of glass. Tooru watches you as you move from room to room, sitting with his back straight and hands folded neatly over his lap. By the time you join him, placing a glass in front of him and keeping the other in your hands, his hands are curled into fists, and his shoulders are almost imperceptibly shaking.

It’s awkward, it’s stifling, and it’s utterly miserable. You’re unused to his presence being something that incites such discomfort, when he was your shoulder to cry and ear to listen to all of your problems throughout your teen years.

One argument. That was all it took, for your comfortable silences and soothing familiarities to be ripped away.

“I’ve packed up my house.” Tooru says, breaking the silence. “Everything I own–everything that’s important, that is. I’ve been putting it off, but I’m leaving tomorrow, so... I had to get it done.”

“Oh yeah?” You mutter. “I’m sure that was hard, picking which trophies you wanna take with you.”

He laughs, a weak sound. “The important stuff, I said.”

“Didn’t you also say that winning was the most important part of life?”

“Hey, don’t use my middle school self’s words against me, you’re better than that, [Name]!” Tooru whines. And for a moment, it’s easy to forget why you were upset in the first place, and slip back into that back-and-forth teasing that you were so used to. But it only takes one look into his bloodshot eyes to remember, and the laughter dies in your throat.

You turn your attention to your water, ignoring the way he stiffens. “Yeah, well you’re good at suddenly changing your mind, aren’t you?”

There it was. That awkward silence.

Tooru was at a loss for words, alternating between staring at you with his lips pursed, ready to say something, before changing his mind and looking down at his feet. You sit at his side, idly taking sips from your drink and ignoring the simmering tension. It’s unbearable, the feeling of conflict between you. Unbearable, and unfamiliar.

“I know you’re angry at me.” He blurts out suddenly.

Your hands freeze, right before the glass reaches your lips. “I’m not angry at you.”

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m not angry at you.” You repeat, placing the glass down with a little more force than is necessary. “You’re chasing your dreams. I’d be a pretty lousy friend if I was angry about that.”

“But you are angry,” Tooru prompts, leaning forward.

“I… Yes, I am angry.” You admit. “I’m angry that I found out about this two weeks before you planned to uproot your entire life and move to the other side of the world. I’m angry that even though you’ve been thinking about this for so long, you haven’t told me anything. I’m angry that I’m apparently the last person you’ve told–”

You cut yourself off, and take a deep breath to steel the stirring emotions turning in your stomach. “I’m not angry at you, I’m just angry at the way you handled this. That’s all.”

Looking at him in the eye is too difficult, so you look at your hands instead, clenching them into fists in your lap.

“I just don’t–I don’t understand why. Why didn’t you want me to know?” Your words wavered, thick with emotion. “Did you want to leave me behind that bad?”

“No!” Tooru cries. “You’re my friend, of course I didn’t want to leave you!”

“Then explain it to me! Explain why, when you were researching Argentinian volleyball teams six months ago, you never thought to tell me you were thinking about leaving Japan?”

You're both yelling now, but you can't bring yourself to care about waking up the rest of your house. You only care about him, and the tattered state of your friendship.

“You wanna know the real answer? I was scared.” Tooru chuckles bitterly, raking his fingers through his air.. “I was terrified, because you’re one of my best friends and I didn’t know how you would react. Telling Iwa-chan was easy, a walk in the park compared to telling you. At least I knew he would never try to stop me, but if you…”

There is a pause, and a beat of silence before he continues. “If you asked me–truly, truly asked me to stay, then I don’t think I would say no. No matter how suffocating it is here, I would deal with it if you needed me. And I guess, part of me was scared you would, and I didn’t know what I would do if I forced myself to give up like that.”

You stare at him, wide-eyed. What could you say to that, the admission that he would forfeit his chance to pursue his goals, if you tried hard enough? There was a stir in your chest, a sickly, selfish thought worming into your mind:

What if you did?

The idea is followed almost immediately with a wash of guilt, bile rising in the back of your throat. You hate yourself for even considering the idea, but you can’t deny how badly you want him to stay. Part of you yearns for your high school days to stretch on a little longer, if only for a few more months of cheering on Aoba Johsai during their volleyball matches and celebrating with Tooru and Iwaizumi afterwards.

At some point, you had gotten ramen together for the last time, without even realizing it. You should have savoured the moment; captured the memory in your mind and kept it like a polaroid in the back of your head.

“I want to stay with you, I really do.” Tooru says quietly, not meeting your eye. “But I want this even more. We’re not kids anymore; I need to move on.”

You inhale sharply.

He was right. You weren’t kids. You couldn’t keep trailing behind him, always at his heels or by his side. As much as you loved having him close to you, you loved the idea of him thriving even more. In the end, that is all that matters.

“I know,” Your eyes are fully glossed over with tears, but you steel yourself enough to meet his gaze. “And I would never want to hold you back. Your happiness means more to me than anything else, so if this… if this is going to make you happy, then you have all my support.”

“Do… you mean that?” He asks, searching your expression for any sign of doubt.

You punch him in the shoulder lightly. “You’ll always have my support, dumbass.” 

The jab doesn't faze him at all; if anything, he looks overjoyed.

“Thank you,” Tooru’s words are choked up, but there’s a clear weight that’s been lifted off his shoulders. “Thank you, I couldn’t leave without hearing that.”

Of course he couldn’t.

No wonder he looked a mess when he arrived. You were willing to bet the guilt of an unresolved argument between the two of you was eating him alive. It wasn’t like it was any easier for you; your own guilt began to stir at the thought of him tossing and turning, unable to get the idea of your disapproval out of his head. 

“You’re gonna go far, okay? The world's gonna know the name Oikawa Tooru, starting setter. And when you’re up there, on Argentina’s best volleyball team, winning game after game–” You flashed him a smile. “Make sure to remember your best friend, okay?”

“Yeah,” He grins. “I’ll thank Iwa-chan for the support–”

“Excuse me–”

“And you, of course.” Tooru’s smile widens, and he reaches out to pull you into a side hug. 

“Yeah, yeah.” You grumble, but you’re not able to hold back a small smile of your own. “Make sure to win lots of games while you’re over there, okay?”

Tooru scoffs, the same indignant noise he’s made ever since middle school, when you told him he better win his games or else. It was always an ‘or else’; ‘or else’ he would have to buy snacks on the way home, ‘or else’ you would tell his little fangirls that he tripped and fell into a pole that morning, ‘or else’ you wouldn’t go with him to that amusement park you’ve both been eyeing.

Whether the silly threats made any difference on his performance, you’ll never know. All you know is this time, next time, and every time after that, there’s nothing holding him back from giving every game his all.

“It’s a deal.”

© aviiarie 2024. do not copy, repost, translate or use my work to train ai

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

can you please do sleep token x reader spending their first christmas as a couple? 🙏

Vessel

He haven’t had a proper Christmas celebration in a while. Most of the years he would spend it alone. And it was fine by him, he was used to it. So to say that he was slightly dreading the festive season would have been an understatement. He wasn’t used to it. Not sure where to start so when you comment something about his apartment not being festive at all he’s taking a trip the next morning to fix that. The problem is that he doesn’t know what to get.

“Hey, what are you doing up so early”, your voice fills his ears and Vessel instantly lets out a breath of relief. “Hi, baby”, he sighs, “I’m at the home center, and… I’m overwhelmed”, you see him scratching his head, panic clear on his features. “What for?”, you from slowly, sitting up in bed. “You said my apartment wasn’t festive so… I wanted to make it festive”, he shoots you a nervous smile. “Oh, Vess, you don’t have to do it for me”, you smile back at him. “I know… I want to for myself but like… I’ve never decorated before”, he admits. “At all?”, you ask watching him shake his head. “Should have told me… are you at the store down the road?”, you ask as you plop your phone down. “Yeah, one closest to the apartment”, Vessel nods. “I will be there in 20”, you nod along, “You don’t have to, this is stupid”, “Don’t you even, we’re doing this”, you reassure him.

That’s how you two end up strolling down the festive isles hand in hand. “Do you want these?”, you pull at the blinking lights. “Do you think it would look good?”, Vessel asks turning his head to the side. “On your gaming shelves with all the figurines and collector's pieces”, you nod along. “Then let’s get it”, Vessel nods alongside you. “Do I need a tree?”, he asks after a moment. “Do you want a tree?”, you halt to watching him. “I think so…”, “So let’s get you a Christmas tree”, you cup his cheek before leaning in to kiss him.

ii

“Is it bad that I do not wish to see a single soul today?”, you two had a family dinner last night on Christmas Eve and this morning had just rotted in bed. “We do have a friend dinner planned”, you give him a sympathetic smile. “Tell them I have food poisoning or better that someone stashed our car”, he nods firmly. “ii”, you chuckle. “Nah, I had to share you all night last night”, he shakes his head, “it’s our first Christmas, I want alone time”.

“We already made plans baby”, you nuzzle closer to his side. “Yeah, and we are canceling them”, he shrugs, leaning to reach for his phone. “ii, don’t you dare”, you whine, “What they don’t know won’t kill them”, wrapping his arms around you he pressed you down against him so you wouldn’t be able to reach his hand. “ii”, you grunted not able not to laugh. “I think we should just stay in bed and watch all the Harry Potter movies”, he suggested while typing out his no doubt made-up excuse. The worst thing was that you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with him.

“Movies… ah we can make that loaded mac and cheese balls”, he plopped his phone down, letting his gaze fall back on you. You let out a sigh, “You sure know how to seduce a woman”, you shook your head. “We can make it into a Christmas tradition. Just you and I for the Christmas day”, he hummed, closing his eyes. “Don’t go falling asleep now”, you smacked his chest playfully, “You promised me balls”, “Balls can be delivered fast”, he wiggled his eyebrows scooping you into his arms as he rolled on top of you. “Grow up”, you cackled, squirming beneath his touch as he moved to tickle your side.

iii

He would go all out. Idk why but I just have this feeling. Especially if it’s your first Christmas. I bet you are going on themed dates. Making gingerbread houses together while sipping whine. Decorating ornaments together. Going to Christmas markets. His scarf is wrapped around you because you had complained about the wind once. Now with a hot chocolate in hand, the other intertwined with his and snuggly shoved into his coat pocket you two are slowly making your way around the place.

“Uuu, that’s the cup stand I told you about”, you motion for the stand and iii instantly turns to it. “These I wanted to get for your parents”, you pull your hand out of his pocket making him frown ever so slightly at the lost contact. “They would love it”, he nods, “They do love their tea”, “Yes, and for that, there is another stand just over the corner”, you nod. “Did you plan it all out?”, iii chuckles, reaching for your hand once more. “i have a whole note sheet dedicated to presents for everyone”, you shrug.

“Am I on the list”, iii wiggles his eyebrows, “would have to go back and check, I’m not sure”, you tap at your chin. “Naughty”, he shakes his head, “You don’t have to get anyone anything, you know?”, he steps right in front of you, brushing some of the hair away from your face. “You know that I love giving gifts”, you shrug, “I already stayed awake for two nights cause I can’t ship out II’s presents in time”. iii chuckles, “See the fact that you are losing sleep over ii is annoying to me”, and you can’t help but laugh as well, “You will have to deal with it”, you shrug right as iii bring you closer.

Ivy

I have a sneaky feeling that he is a massive family guy. So you would probably end up spending some part of the Christmas with his family. He would be beaming all the time. This slightly smug smile on his face as he enjoys the hustle of everyone chatting. Arm around your shoulders as he lazily draws shapes on your bare shoulder.

“Here you are”, you turned slightly, catching a glimpse of your boyfriend stepping into the kitchen. “Who put you to work?”, he shook his head, reaching for the tea towel. “No one just wanted to help”, you smiled softly, dipping your hands back into the water. “You didn’t have to do this”, he reassured you, taking the plate out of your hands. “I don’t but I want to, your family planned the whole dinner”, you shake your head.

“You know… this has been the best Christmas ever”, ivy leans against the kitchen island just watching you. “We haven’t opened presents yet, don’t get too cocky”, you chuckle softly. “Don’t care about that, you’re the best present I could have asked for”, he shrugs, making you turn to him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”, he asks, moving to dry your hands with the towel. “A big statement you just made”, you let out a huff, pressing your palms against his chest, “And I mean it”, he leans in kissing your cheek, “Santa thought that I was a good boy this year”, you can’t help but chuckle as you shake your head, leaning in to kiss him. Letting out a surprised yelp as Ivy lifts you settling you down onto the kitchen counter.

[loomiseater]

Coffee☕️🍂

warnings: smut ofc!, fluff, public oral sex, oral!m!receiving, cum play, and dom!reader.

Criticism is appreciated! I would love to know how I can improve on my writing.

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

A/N: this was originally supposed to be just fluff but I suck at fluff😭..ngl this shit made me horny asf.

Navigation

Request page

Masterlist

Criminal Minds masterlist

Most recent fic

Written: September 30th, 2024- December 26th, 2024

Published: December 26th, 2024

Summary: Spencer asks you out for coffee and things get heated at the library.

wc: 1,803

“H-hey Y/n.” He responded with a little stutter. I’ve always known Spencer to be this shy, quiet, but well spoken man. For some reason he seemed even more shy at this moment. “What’s up?” I asked as I began packing my purse up.

He sat there for a moment, gathering his thoughts before speaking up. “I was wondering if..maybe you’d like to get coffee with me and go to a book store..?” Spencer hesitantly asked. My face lit up with the biggest smile ever. Did I just get asked out by Spencer Reid?!

My heart was pounding and my body began to feel hot. Without hesitation I answered quickly. “Yes! I would love to, Spence!” His face looked as if he was relieved, yet happy.

You were the girl Spencer has been wanting for the past 2 years and he finally had the courage to ask you out. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/n.” He said as he nodded his head before stepping into the elevator. I made sure the elevator doors closed all the way before silently congratulating myself.

I was so happy I didn’t even notice Morgan was there the whole time. “Looks like pretty boy finally asked you out.” He announced with that smirk on his face. My eyes widened at his statement. What did he mean finally?

“Morgan?” I questioned as he took a sip of his coffee. “What?” He replied.

“What do you mean finally?” I asked as he just chuckled. “You really haven’t noticed, have you?” What the hell is he talking about?! I shook my head no at him as sighed and threw his head back. “I can’t believe you’re that oblivious, you’re a profiler for fucks sake.” He said as I rolled my eyes. “Get to the point Morgan!” I stated.

I was anxious to know what he meant and he kept dragging this whole thing out. “Pretty boy likes you. You’re the only person who he ever hugs, shares food with, and he’s constantly stares at you when you’re not looking.” He explained.

I didn’t wanna get my hopes up. Maybe Derek was right, but I’m not gonna believe it until I hear it from Spencer’s mouth. Plus Derek plays around a lot. “Yeah right! Why should I believe you?” I asked with a raised eyebrow as he chuckled.

“Because he told me himself.” Morgan smirked as my jaw dropped. “Really?!” I desperately asked. “You two would make a cute couple.” He chuckled as he patted me on the back, heading towards the elevator doors. “Derek!” I shouted as he was now pressing the elevator button. “Goodnight, sweetheart!” He shouted back with a smirk.

I groaned to myself.

____________

It was the day. I was going out with Spencer. I’m so nervous, yet so excited. I haven’t been able to stop smiling all day. It was fall outside so I decided to wear some stockings with a skirt and a long sleeve top. Nothing too over the top.

Spencer decided to meet me at my apartment so we could walk to the coffee shop and the library. I sprayed some fall scented perfume on as I heard a knock on the door. That’s him!

I rushed to the door and opened it immediately, I was met with the tall, scrawny, handsome Spencer Reid. “Hi, Y/n.” He softly greeted with a smile on his face. “Hey, Spence!” I greeted back. “You ready?” He asked as I said Yes and we headed out the door.

We made it to the coffee shop, Spence paid for the both of us, I told him that he didn’t have to, but he insisted. He then started putting in a bunch of sugar in his coffee as I eyed him. He saw my expression and laughed a bit. “The sugar helps me stay up.” He explained.

“You haven’t tried melatonin gummies?” I genuinely asked. “I’ve never heard of it. Does it work?” He asked curiously. “What?! The famous Dr. Reid doesn’t know about melatonin gummies?!” I faked gasped as he chuckled. “In my defense, I’m not on the internet that often.” He explained.

We walked out the coffee shop and were now on our way to the library. “Really? Then what do you do all day?” I asked, curiosity coating my words. “I like to read.” He said softly as he pressed his lips together. Gosh, he’s so cute.

We finally made it to the library, the smell of books hitting our noses. “How bout you?” He asked as I looked over at him. “What?”

“Do you read?” He asked, his eyes widening, hoping you’d say yes.

“I do actually..but not serious books like you. To be honest, I’m into comics and murder mystery.” I stated. “Maybe you’d let me read one of your comics?” He awkwardly asked as I giggled. “Of course! I have some back at my place.” I answered as a smile covered his face.

We walked over to the book section and Spencer saw a science book. He started rambling about it, I never understand what he’s saying, I just like hearing him speak. It’s so cute seeing him talk about something he’s so passionate about. I zoned out, I was just looking at him while smiling that I didn’t even hear him say my name.

“-Y/n?” “Sorry. What were you saying?” I asked. “Would you want to be an astronaut?” He replied. I quickly shook my head no as he laughed. “Why not? You get to see stuff the average human doesn’t and study stars.” He said before taking a sip of his coffee.

“It’s all fun and games until something goes wrong and you get stuck in space.” I stated as he shrugged his shoulders. “That’s a fair reasoning.” Spencer said understandingly.

We walked past another section of books and one particular book caught my eyes. Fifty Shades of Grey. Spencer took notice to this as he walked over to the book I picked up. “What’s this?” He asked I smirked. “You’ve never heard of this?” He shook his head no. “Have you seen the movies?” He shook his head no. “Do you know what it’s about?” He shook his head no again as I giggled.

I took this as my opportunity to do what I’ve been wanting since I laid my eyes on him. “I can give you a hint.” I said lowly ask I wrapped my arms around his neck. He placed his coffee on the shelf next to him as his breath hitched. We both moved our heads until our lips touched and I brought him into a slow, deep, passionate kiss.

I gripped some of his hair as he groaned into my mouth. I was starting to get wet just from the sound that came out of him. I wrapped one leg around his waist as he gripped my ass, making me softly moan. “I need you.” He said with desperation in his eyes. I forgot that we were in public. I hope no one heard us.

“I need you too.” I pleaded. I placed one last kiss to his lips before getting on my knees in front of him. His eyes widened, shocked at the acts I’m about to do. “We’re in public- we can’t!” Spencer whispered shouted. I just looked up at him with doe eyes as I unbuckled his belt. He let out a sigh, giving up.

I pulled his pants down some, along with his underwear. His cock was hard and red es ever. I placed a kiss to his tips, then his balls as lost his breath for a second. “Y/n.” He whispered. I licked a stripe up his dick as he squeezed his eyes shut. I stopped teasing him and finally took him whole. I deepthroated him, his tip hit the back of my throat as he almost lost his balance, his hand gripping the shelf for stability.

“Nghh!” He moaned. I took him out my mouth and put him back in, bobbing my head up and down. He grabbed my hair and started guiding me to suck it just how he likes it. “Mhmm” my moans vibrated on his cock as he grunted.

I hollowed my mouth as I looked up at him with doe eyes. His chocolate brown eyes were wide, he couldn’t believe what he was doing, especially in public. Anyone could walk past and see what was going on, he felt sick for enjoying it, deep down he wants someone to walk past and see his cock shoved down your throat.

I felt his dick twitch, now taking him out my mouth and sucking on his balls. “Fuck I’m gonna cum!” He choked out. “Cum.” I lowly said. As I said, he did. He let out a low whine as his cum shot all over my face as I opened my mouth letting some of it fall in. My face was covered in Spencer’s cum, my cheeks, eyelashes, lips, and the inside of my mouth.

I licked up his dick again, licking up all the excess cum and placing a kiss on his balls. I then stood back up and wrapped one arm around his neck. I wiped some of his cum off my face and stuck my hand down my skirt rubbing his cum all on my pussy.

Poor boy looked like he could barely stand. He stared at me in awe as I grabbed his hand placing it inside my skirt, he rubbed my clit some, smearing his cum all around. I was trying to hold my moans in but it was so hard. “Mhhm Spencer!” I moaned into his chest. “You’re so wet.” He said in amazement. “Because of you.” I responded.

I started moaning into his ear while his fingers were still rubbing my clit as I saw a worker. She made eye contact with me. Her eyes widened and she hurried off, terrified at what she just saw.

Spencer pushed me off of him and pulled his pants off. “I need you so bad right now. We’re going to my place.” He stated as I smirked. Spencer was so focused on getting some pussy that he didn’t even bother buckling his belt. On top of that I still had his cum on my face.

We walked out the doors as another worker looked at us in shock. She knew what we’d been up to just from the looks of us. I smirked at her as we walked out the building.

I’m about to have the best sex of my life.

I was cleaning off my desk from the stressful case we finally got through, from the corner of my eye, I could see Spencer walking towards me. He finally made it to my desk as I welcomed with a warm smile. “Hey Spence!” I cheerfully said.

“H-hey Y/n.” He responded with a little stutter. I’ve always known Spencer to be this shy, quiet, but well spoken man. For some reason he seemed even more shy at this moment. “What’s up?” I asked as I began packing my purse up.

He sat there for a moment, gathering his thoughts before speaking up. “I was wondering if..maybe you’d like to get coffee with me and go to a book store..?” Spencer hesitantly asked. My face lit up with the biggest smile ever. Did I just get asked out by Spencer Reid?!

My heart was pounding and my body began to feel hot. Without hesitation I answered quickly. “Yes! I would love to, Spence!” His face looked as if he was relieved, yet happy.

You were the girl Spencer has been wanting for the past 2 years and he finally had the courage to ask you out. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/n.” He said as he nodded his head before stepping into the elevator. I made sure the elevator doors closed all the way before silently congratulating myself.

I was so happy I didn’t even notice Morgan was there the whole time. “Looks like pretty boy finally asked you out.” He announced with that smirk on his face. My eyes widened at his statement. What did he mean finally?

“Morgan?” I questioned as he took a sip of his coffee. “What?” He replied.

“What do you mean finally?” I asked as he just chuckled. “You really haven’t noticed, have you?” What the hell is he talking about?! I shook my head no at him as sighed and threw his head back. “I can’t believe you’re that oblivious, you’re a profiler for fucks sake.” He said as I rolled my eyes. “Get to the point Morgan!” I stated.

I was anxious to know what he meant and he kept dragging this whole thing out. “Pretty boy likes you. You’re the only person who he ever hugs, shares food with, and he’s constantly stares at you when you’re not looking.” He explained.

I didn’t wanna get my hopes up. Maybe Derek was right, but I’m not gonna believe it until I hear it from Spencer’s mouth. Plus Derek plays around a lot. “Yeah right! Why should I believe you?” I asked with a raised eyebrow as he chuckled.

“Because he told me himself.” Morgan smirked as my jaw dropped. “Really?!” I desperately asked. “You two would make a cute couple.” He chuckled as he patted me on the back, heading towards the elevator doors. “Derek!” I shouted as he was now pressing the elevator button. “Goodnight, sweetheart!” He shouted back with a smirk.

I groaned to myself.

____________

It was the day. I was going out with Spencer. I’m so nervous, yet so excited. I haven’t been able to stop smiling all day. It was fall outside so I decided to wear some stockings with a skirt and a long sleeve top. Nothing too over the top.

Spencer decided to meet me at my apartment so we could walk to the coffee shop and the library. I sprayed some fall scented perfume on as I heard a knock on the door. That’s him!

I rushed to the door and opened it immediately, I was met with the tall, scrawny, handsome Spencer Reid. “Hi, Y/n.” He softly greeted with a smile on his face. “Hey, Spence!” I greeted back. “You ready?” He asked as I said Yes and we headed out the door.

We made it to the coffee shop, Spence paid for the both of us, I told him that he didn’t have to, but he insisted. He then started putting in a bunch of sugar in his coffee as I eyed him. He saw my expression and laughed a bit. “The sugar helps me stay up.” He explained.

“You haven’t tried melatonin gummies?” I genuinely asked. “I’ve never heard of it. Does it work?” He asked curiously. “What?! The famous Dr. Reid doesn’t know about melatonin gummies?!” I faked gasped as he chuckled. “In my defense, I’m not on the internet that often.” He explained.

We walked out the coffee shop and were now on our way to the library. “Really? Then what do you do all day?” I asked, curiosity coating my words. “I like to read.” He said softly as he pressed his lips together. Gosh, he’s so cute.

We finally made it to the library, the smell of books hitting our noses. “How bout you?” He asked as I looked over at him. “What?”

“Do you read?” He asked, his eyes widening, hoping you’d say yes.

“I do actually..but not serious books like you. To be honest, I’m into comics and murder mystery.” I stated. “Maybe you’d let me read one of your comics?” He awkwardly asked as I giggled. “Of course! I have some back at my place.” I answered as a smile covered his face.

We walked over to the book section and Spencer saw a science book. He started rambling about it, I never understand what he’s saying, I just like hearing him speak. It’s so cute seeing him talk about something he’s so passionate about. I zoned out, I was just looking at him while smiling that I didn’t even hear him say my name.

“-Y/n?” “Sorry. What were you saying?” I asked. “Would you want to be an astronaut?” He replied. I quickly shook my head no as he laughed. “Why not? You get to see stuff the average human doesn’t and study stars.” He said before taking a sip of his coffee.

“It’s all fun and games until something goes wrong and you get stuck in space.” I stated as he shrugged his shoulders. “That’s a fair reasoning.” Spencer said understandingly.

We walked past another section of books and one particular book caught my eyes. Fifty Shades of Grey. Spencer took notice to this as he walked over to the book I picked up. “What’s this?” He asked I smirked. “You’ve never heard of this?” He shook his head no. “Have you seen the movies?” He shook his head no. “Do you know what it’s about?” He shook his head no again as I giggled.

I took this as my opportunity to do what I’ve been wanting since I laid my eyes on him. “I can give you a hint.” I said lowly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He placed his coffee on the shelf next to him as his breath hitched. We both moved our heads until our lips touched and I brought him into a slow, deep, passionate kiss.

I gripped some of his hair as he groaned into my mouth. I was starting to get wet just from the sound that came out of him. I wrapped one leg around his waist as he gripped my ass, making me softly moan. “I need you.” He said with desperation in his eyes. I forgot that we were in public. I hope no one heard us.

“I need you too.” I pleaded. I placed one last kiss to his lips before getting on my knees in front of him. His eyes widened, shocked at the acts I’m about to do. “We’re in public- we can’t!” Spencer whispered shouted. I just looked up at him with doe eyes as I unbuckled his belt. He let out a sigh, giving up.

I pulled his pants down some, along with his underwear. His cock was hard and red es ever. I placed a kiss to his tips, then his balls as lost his breath for a second. “Y/n.” He whispered. I licked a stripe up his dick as he squeezed his eyes shut. I stopped teasing him and finally took him whole. I deepthroated him, his tip hit the back of my throat as he almost lost his balance, his hand gripping the shelf for stability.

“Nghh!” He moaned. I took him out my mouth and put him back in, bobbing my head up and down. He grabbed my hair and started guiding me to suck it just how he likes it. “Mhmm” my moans vibrated on his cock as he grunted.

I hollowed my mouth as I looked up at him with doe eyes. His chocolate brown eyes were wide, he couldn’t believe what he was doing, especially in public. Anyone could walk past and see what was going on, he felt sick for enjoying it, deep down he wants someone to walk past and see his cock shoved down your throat.

I felt his dick twitch, now taking him out my mouth and sucking on his balls. “Fuck I’m gonna cum!” He choked out. “Cum.” I lowly said. As I said, he did. He let out a low whine as his cum shot all over my face as I opened my mouth letting some of it fall in. My face was covered in Spencer’s cum, my cheeks, eyelashes, lips, and the inside of my mouth.

I licked up his dick again, licking up all the excess cum and placing a kiss on his balls. I then stood back up and wrapped one arm around his neck. I wiped some of his cum off my face and stuck my hand down my skirt rubbing his cum all on my pussy.

Poor boy looked like he could barely stand. He stared at me in awe as I grabbed his hand placing it inside my skirt, he rubbed my clit some, smearing his cum all around. I was trying to hold my moans in but it was so hard. “Mhhm Spencer!” I moaned into his chest. “You’re so wet.” He said in amazement. “Because of you.” I responded.

I started moaning into his ear while his fingers were still rubbing my clit as I saw a worker. She made eye contact with me. Her eyes widened and she hurried off, terrified at what she just saw.

Spencer pushed me off of him and pulled his pants up. “I need you so bad right now. We’re going to my place.” He stated as I smirked. Spencer was so focused on getting some pussy that he didn’t even bother buckling his belt. On top of that I still had his cum on my face.

We walked out the doors as another worker looked at us in shock. She knew what we’d been up to just from the looks of us. I smirked at her as we walked out the building.

I’m about to have the best sex of my life.

[theloveinc]

I have never felt this strongly abt any one else before but if Enjin ends up with anyone aside from ME im gonna jump off a cliff

[lesbiansanemi]

Was doing so good holding it together today but now that I’m laying down and trying to sleep I’m tearing up and I can feel that I’m about to burst into tears any second now

[overcaffeinated-aro]

I got an email from my grandpa today and all the draft responses I’ve been working on in my head sound like an 18th century letter that’s going to have to travel for months to reach him.

pandemic year 5 really has me feeling like me and a very small handful of people I know are living on an entirely different plane of existence than everyone else

[rapidhighway]

I didn’t go to sculpture again……

[rawbin-hsr]

Jesus Christ bro just received the most aggressive ask in my inbox confronting me about how I write Aventurine and demanding proof for why I interpret him the way I do 😭😭 I’m not good at making straight up analytical content but ig I’m gonna have to try to do it so I can support my own ideas because ig it’s not fair of me to say things about him without backing myself up. I wouldn’t mind if they hadn’t been so hostile like pls I like to think I’m pretty reasonable you don’t need to yell at me 😞

[floral-hex]

ayyyyyyy I set up an appointment for medication this Friday (telemedicine but whatever) and I get to see my former therapist again later this month. I’m kind of excited. More than kind of. Little sad, but I’m lonely and want to talk to someone. He’s a real cool dude. I’m a little worried to trauma dump the last 6 months on him, but whatever, it beats sitting there for an hour feeling like I’m wasting his time and struggling to think of things to say. dang dang dang, I’m excited.

[milkstoner]

I don't have an insta 😔

I do have to respect that honestly.

[jemmo]

i can’t tell you how much i usually hate these ignoring, distancing plots in shows and how much i absolutely adore everything about these 2 episodes of the eighth sense. like im not having a good time, and it’s fantastic.

bc the thing is, in all of this, i can’t see the right way to go, i can’t find the person to blame, i can’t find the way to make it better. I can’t single out a single moment or a thing someone did and say “this is why everything went wrong”. it’s just this coming together and rise and swell of things happening and people feeling things that has us ending up here and it feels beautifully and horribly organic bc we can’t find that point where it all went wrong. was it on that rooftop? was it at the beach? was it when they first met? was it when his brother died? was it when he was born into this family? there is no single point. it’s all of them and it’s none of them. there is truly nothing and no one to blame. and there are bad characters in the show, people you can hate, eunji and taehyung, but neither of them are to blame for any of the bad stuff that happens in the show. you’re not waiting for them to be taken down bc that doesn’t solve anything. instead, it’s just two people hurting, and not knowing how to make it better.

bc you take jaewon, and after what he says at the end of ep 8, you want to hate him, you want to be so angry at him for what he says, for how he acts, how dismissive and hurtful he is, and yet you’ve been made to understand 100% why, and not just in a “i get it but that wasn’t the right thing to do” way, in a “that was horrible and yet i know he doesn’t see any other way to handle this” way. like you don’t see this as a misstep, or a step to far, bc you know for him, in his state of mind, it is completely justified, it’s necessary. bc it not only punishes the person he blames for all of this, himself, but he sees it as a way to protect jihyun. and not even in a cliche “bad things happen when people around me, the people I love always get hurt” kinda way, but more so in that he sees that he is a scared, messy, struggling person that doesn’t know how to handle himself, and doesn’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone the person he cares about. so what’s worse, a quick, swift blow that hurts but cuts everything off cleanly, or this prolonged relationship where he inevitably continues to weigh jihyun down with the weight of his trauma, and take it out on him. what’s the point of having a place of refuge when you ruin it more and more every time you depend on it, until it eventually can’t offer you comfort. it’s a lesser of two evils, jaewon’s choice is obvious to him.

but then you take jihyun. and we talk about masks and fronts but we never once question whether jihyun wears a mask bc he appears so sweet and innocent and naive, what can this boy possibly be putting up a front for. but i see it, this almost fake it till you make it confidence front that yes is becoming more natural. but my god just think about what he’s gone through for a second. think about it. left home for the first time in his life, moved to an unfamiliar and intimidating city with only one other person he knows, started a new job, started university, tried to build relationships, met a man that intrigues him, and perused him only to be kissed and then ignored, then maybe establish something tentative, only to then see him spiral, go on a trip where he shared his trauma, you have an intimate night together only to almost die, and then be not only ignored, but plain and simple rejected and pushed away. like… you can say all you want about jihyun growing as a person and having more courage, but no amount of growth for however many months this has been going on for can prepare you for that. for the mixed messages on steroids. for the back and forth, not knowing. to give yourself to someone like that and go through something traumatic and then be abandoned by that person. we get it, bc we see all of jaewon’s story. but apart from what jaewon shared at the beach, jihyun doesn’t know any more than that. he doesn’t know about therapy, about how his father acts towards him, about the extent of his trauma and how it manifests and affects his mental health, and how he is struggling every single day. and you can’t expect him to know the depths of that no matter how empathetic and connected he is, how much he cares about jaewon, he can’t be superhuman. and so you get why he pushes and fights for jaewon. like… he is in love. it’s clear. he’s fallen in love with him. he is this wide-eyed, open kid that fell in love with a senior. and jaewon has just messed with his head, he’s never been clear, and you can’t expect jihyun to just get past that bc he knows something is up with jaewon. he can’t know the full story, but even if he did, that can’t be a reason or a justification to be treated the way jaewon treats him. bc we’re all about jaewon putting himself first and doing what he wants and respecting himself like that, but jihyun deserves that too. and it’s such a fine line to tread when you know someone is going through something, bc again you understand why, but you’re still the one being treated that way. like we talk about jaewon’s trauma, but here jihyun was part of it, he went through that traumatic experience. he’s the one that nearly lost his life. and yes, he appears to handle it well, and no matter to what extent that’s true or not, you can’t not look at jaewon struggling and understand it and then not look at jihyun with that same understanding. it’s not about comparing trauma and pain and deciding who is suffering more, it’s seeing that there are two people in this, and they’ve both been affected, so we should give them the same level of understanding.

and that’s something jaewon has to see. that his self-preservation is selfish. that his destructive behavior doesn’t just affect jihyun, instead it feels pointed and directed, bc every way jaewon hurts himself hurts jihyun. and it comes bc jihyun was so much of what was good about jaewon’s life for a second, so attacking that is his only form of self-sabotage. he can’t mess up his relationship with his friends or parents bc they were broken in the first place, and he can’t sabotage his future bc it’s already been ruined the moment he didn’t pursue his photography major. him nearly getting kicked out of school affected him so little not just bc he wanted that punishment, but bc even that punishment meant so little to him. all these things are established and they already contribute to his suffering. removing jihyun from his life is the only active thing he can do to make himself feel worse, and he can veil it in an act of protection, and even feel like he’s doing the right thing, but that deceives them both into believing this is done from a good place, when no good can actually come of it. in trying to protect jihyun, you hurt him more. in trying to hurt yourself, you hurt him too. and when someone is in a headspace like jaewon is, you look for that thing that’ll break through. bc he is so distant, he’s trying to remove himself from reality, and jihyun needs to act as this person that can anchor him to it. when you’re trying to isolate and separate yourself, sometimes seeing that you still affect things, that there’s a persons that exists that is affected and hurt by your actions, and no matter how you try to cut yourself off, you cannot stop that, separating yourself still hurts them, maybe that’s a thing that can get through. but that’s something that depends on jaewon. ultimately, he’s the only one that can get himself out of this place, and that’s what makes it so hard, that no matter how much jihyun cares and how much he fights for him, nothing can come of that effort is jaewon doesn’t meet him there. and it’d be so easy for jihyun to give in, to take the hurt, but over the course of this show we’ve seen the strength jihyun has developed, which has only seemed to increase more so after the accident, call it a renewed vigor for life or something. he has the strength that jaewon doesn’t, to not let his pain consume him. and in a beautiful full-circle moment, it’s because of jaewon, bc when they first spoke he sparked in jihyun a want to be stronger, to be more than the country mouse, and he’s done it. and it’s that courage that means he can fight for jaewon, even in the face of rejection. he trusts himself and that he knows jaewon, the real jaewon, to see past words that are intended to hurt them both, and go after the person that’s still inside jaewon somewhere. no, he can’t do it for him, and no them being together is not some magical cure for jaewon, but it’s what can put him on a path of caring for himself again, and sometimes that has to start with caring about someone else (and suddenly I’m reminded of my beautiful man 2 and how kiyoi tries to break hira out of his worthless mindset by making him care about him, and how ultimately that can’t be enough, and that hira has to take those first steps of seeing his self worth by himself). what jihyun can do by fighting is again act as that tether to reality and try to be this representation of the good jaewon can be and do. bc look at jihyun, look at how confident and strong he has become, and look at how he got there, bc you saw that country mouse and gave him the time of day and helped him grow and gave him new experiences. you jaewon, you. and that shift in mindset, from jihyun representing hurt and the accident and the trauma of his brother and everything he can’t do, to being that light and refuge and everything he can do is again something that might breaks through. and the fact it has such narrative strength and satisfaction makes me hopeful that that’s what we might actually get.

[lovelyisadora]

it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me